Forgiven

Fallen Idols MC 9

Ryder and Sawyer Book 3

Savannah Rylan

Forgiven

Published By Savannah Rylan Books

Copyright © 2015 Savannah Rylan

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places or events are entirely the work of the author. Any resemblance to actual persons, events, or places is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. Please purchase only authorized editions and do not participate in piracy of copyrighted materials.

Cover art by Cover Up Designs

ONE

RYDER

Axel and I pulled up on Cruz, who might as well have gotten a can of spray paint and written “guilty” across his fucking chest. Stupid son of a bitch.  We had found him in enemy territory, and all he could say for himself was “I can explain,” yet he hadn’t said a single word since.

“I’m waiting,” Axel barked. “You better fuckin’ explain because right now you’re looking pretty goddamned guilty standin’ in Las Almas territory when you’re supposed to be at the Raven’s Nest.”

Cruz’s eyes darted to me like I was going to get him out of this fucking mess. I shook my head. He was shit out of luck because the kid was still keeping secrets, and I had no idea what the hell was really going on. Axel was hell bent on getting the truth out of him.

Ever since Paige was attacked, he was on a warpath, and the fact that Cruz was there that night, with little explanation, was already a warning flag in Axel’s mind. If Cruz was going to walk out of here alive, he needed to open his mouth and start talking. Now.

Axel’s eyes turned dark, and, by the way his fists clenched and his jaw ticked, I knew he was two seconds away from either pummeling Cruz’s ass or pulling out his gun.  

I wanted to say fuck it, and beat the shit out of him because, despite what I wanted to believe, I knew he was working with Las Almas. I had put my neck out there for him one too many times, and I was done. The kid needed to learn a fucking lesson the hard way. Besides, I had better things to do. There was a bottle of Jack with my name on it at the Raven’s Nest.

As I turned back to my bike, I caught a glimpse of Cruz. The desperate look in his eyes, and the panic in his stance had me grumbling as I stepped between him and Axel.

I made a promise and I kept my word. It wasn’t his fault his sister was a heartless bitch. Besides, Cruz had always been like a little brother to me, and I still felt an obligation to him, even if he was a complete and total fuck up.

“Axel, calm the fuck down, and at least hear what he has to say before you beat the shit out of him. Cruz, talk now. And it better be fucking good, or I won’t stop him next time.”

Cruz nodded, but he still didn’t speak. Axel cracked his neck from side to side, getting ready to act, and I didn’t blame him. I was losing my fucking patience, too. Cruz’s lips parted, but no words came out. He ran both hands through his hair and cursed under his breath.

The theatrics were getting on my last fucking nerve, so I took a step back to make my point. Cruz threw his hands up in defense. “Wait! I just…I don’t know where to start. It’s a fucking shitfest.”

“You need to figure it out,” I warned, wondering how deep of a hole he had dug himself into.

“The beginning is usually a good spot,” Axel advised through clenched teeth. “Or the middle or the end. I don’t fuckin’ care where you start, but you better start somewhere.”

“Right. Okay.”

“No, fuck that. I don’t care about the beginning,” Axel growled. “Tell me why you were at Paige’s house that night? And I want the fuckin’ truth this time.”

Cruz pushed his fingers to the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath. He glanced back up, his eyes looking right past me to Axel. Regret and remorse clouded his features. “I fucked up. I—” Cruz’s words were cut off by the roar of a bike’s engine. It came on us loud and fast.

Through the darkness, my eye caught the glint of a gun, but before I could react, before I could do anything, the shot rang out, slicing through the silence of the night, as Cruz crumbled to the ground.

Life went into slow motion. It was as if I forgot how to move. Axel pulled his gun, and lit up the night with every round he had. I dropped to my knees, my heart battering my chest as I cradled Cruz’s head in my lap. Blood soaked through his shirt, and I pressed my hand to the wound, hoping and praying he was still alive. “Cruz. Talk to me.” I was met with complete and utter silence. I looked up just as the taillights of the bike disappeared into the blackness. “Call Bones. Now!” I screamed at Axel.

Axel ran over, took one look at Cruz, and spun around. “Fuck!” Axel yelled, his voice echoing around us. “Fuck Bones,” he mumbled as he pulled out his phone and dialed. “We need an ambulance,” I heard him say, but the rest was lost to the static in my mind.  

My eyes lowered, focusing on my hands that were covered in blood. I continued to put pressure on the wound as I tried not to panic. I hugged Cruz’s head to my chest. “You better not die on me, you bastard.”

TWO

SAWYER

“What do you mean you were pregnant? What the fuck are you talking about?” Ryder yelled, anger filling his eyes, and causing his fists to clench at his sides.

I just needed to explain. He would understand. He’d have to. “I couldn’t bring my child into this life. Not when I’d just lost my father to a jail cell. I wouldn’t do that to a baby. You were a prospect, and I knew you would never leave…so I did.”

The veins in Ryder’s arm pulsated. His jaw ticked. “What happened to the baby?”  

I took a deep breath, and admitted to him what I’d been hiding from everyone for so long. “I had him.”

“Him! You mean to tell me I have a fucking son?”

There were so many things I wanted to say, but my words froze in my throat, and I couldn’t get a single syllable out, so I nodded.  

He ran his hands through his hair, holding on to the edges. “Where is he? Where the fuck is he, Sawyer?”

“In New York,” I whispered. I stepped toward Ryder. A daunting fire raged behind his eyes, but I hoped my words would extinguish it. “With a nice family who can give him what we couldn’t.”

Ryder shook with anger, and I backed up as he came closer. A storm brewed in his grey eyes, consuming all the light, and turning him into a complete stranger. My back hit the wall, and he got within inches from my face. His breaths were loud and ragged. He flung his hand up, and pointed to the door. “Get out of my sight,” he seethed. “You disgust me.”

I grabbed his arm, but he ripped it out of my grip. “You have to understand,” I pleaded.  

“Get. Out,” he demanded through clenched teeth. His words were like venom, surging out and paralyzing me.

“Ryder…” I managed, but choked on the last syllable.

He picked up my clothes, and threw them at me. I fumbled with them, and, then, caught his gaze, hoping he would see the struggle in my eyes, the pain and heartache I endured in order to do what was right for our child. Instead, I saw darkness. Pure, black, unadulterated darkness. Chills ran through me as I realized he was looking at me just like he looked at Las Almas—with complete and total hatred.

“I said. Get. The. Fuck. Out.”  

I refused to believe that was it. The secret I held onto for five years, the one that ripped me to shreds every time I thought about Liam, and the life I denied Ryder and myself, but at least found solace, knowing Liam was safe, was finally out. And Ryder had nothing to say other than to tell me to leave. But, then I gazed up at him, so defiant in his fury, and I knew he’d never forgive me.  Still, I couldn’t just walk away. “That’s it? You have nothing else to say?”

He smirked before his lip curled in disgust. “At least I wore a condom this time.”

Anger swelled inside of me, rushing through my mind and body until it exploded. My hand reached out, and slapped him hard across the face. “Fuck you.”

“Too late for that, sweetheart. Now, get out of my fucking house.”

***

It had been two weeks since I finally told Ryder the truth, and he kicked me out of his house. Two weeks since the life I craved for so long and that was finally was mine again, had been ripped out from under me.

He hated me.

He had hated me before, but this was different. This time, it ran deep, cutting at a place that no matter what I said or did, I’d never be able to fix it.

I fucked up.

I sat on my bed in my New York City apartment, and reached into my purse, taking out the picture that was never too far from me. It was two years old, and Liam was only three then, but even then, his resemblance to Ryder was uncanny, from his grey eyes to his gorgeous dark hair and that adorable smirk that was full of mischief.

The picture forced me to remember that I’d made the right choice. He was happy and safe. Completely free of a life full of violence and heartbreak. He had a fighting chance to be anything he wanted to be without being held back by a devotion to a club he just happened to be born into.

Like always, I kissed the picture, and put it back in my bag for safe-keeping. I glanced around my studio apartment, a far cry from the spacious home where I’d grown up, and where I fled from once again, and tried to hold back the tears.

I prided myself on being strong, but, lately, I was a goddamned faucet, leaking at anything that managed to get a hold of my heartstrings. Which is exactly why I left Brooks Landing. Mom was getting stronger every day and I just couldn’t handle being so close to Ryder and not being able to see him. I knew if I did, any look or words he had would send me spiraling into a puddle of pathetic sadness and guilt.

I made a life for myself in New York, and it was time I returned to it, letting the past stay where it belonged. So, I grabbed my purse and keys and headed back to the job that paid for this shoebox I now and forever would call home.

I wasn’t even a foot out the door when my cell rang. I didn’t recognize the number, but I recognized the area code. Who would be calling me from Brooks Landing? And, did I really care to find out?

It was hard to escape a past when it kept creeping back into my life. I took a deep breath and answered. “Hello?”

“Sawyer, it’s Trista.” My heart stopped, and then sped up, because I knew she wasn’t calling me to shoot the breeze.

“What’s wrong?” I leaned against the hallway wall.

“You need to get on a plane and get home now. I’ll explain everything when you get here.”

“Please tell me Ryder is okay,” I choked out, as panic consumed me, and tears forced their way to my eyes.

She didn’t answer for a long moment, her breath heavy in the phone. Finally, she spoke. “It’s not Ryder. It’s Cruz.”

My legs gave out, and I collapsed on the floor.  

THREE

SAWYER

I flew into the San Francisco airport with my heart in my throat during the entire five-hour flight. My baby brother had been shot. He was lying in some hospital bed, in God knows what condition.  Trista refused to give me any more details. She insisted she didn’t know anything else. Claiming all she knew was that he was with Ryder when it happened. I didn’t know if that made me feel better or worse, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was seeing my brother.

I tried calling Mom, but she didn’t answer. She was probably already at the hospital. Alone. Because I ran, again, leaving her and Cruz behind. She’d just had major surgery only a little over a month ago, and this was the last thing she needed to deal with on top of everything else.

My mind raced a million miles a minute. What if I got to the hospital, and it was too late? What if Cruz didn’t make it? Nausea built up inside of me as the plane landed. Instead of pushing toward the exit, I detoured right into the plane’s tiny bathroom, and threw up all of my breakfast, not stopping until I was dry heaving, tears streaming down my face.

Someone knocked on the door, and I wiped my mouth before pushing the door open. “Sorry,” I muttered to the stewardess.

She gave me a sympathetic smile, her blue eyes narrowing in concern. “You okay?”

“Just peachy,” I mumbled before I stood up. She handed me a napkin, and I gratefully accepted it. “Thank you.”

“Do you need me to call anyone?” she asked, but I shook my head. I just needed to get the fuck off this plane.  

I lifted my carry on up onto my shoulder and exited the small space. Trista mentioned that someone would be here to pick me up. Like a fool, I expected Ryder to be there waiting to take me in his arms and tell me everything would be okay. But, when I walked out of the terminal, the only person I spotted was Trista. Her dark hair was pulled up into a messy bun, which reminded me of the sleepovers we had back in the day, but the shit poor attitude she acquired after I left, shown through her dark eyes and tense body language.

I cringed. She wasn’t exactly number one on my list of people I wanted to see, but I pushed the disdain aside. She was here, voluntarily, so the least I could do was be grateful for small favors.

Trista nodded in my direction and hurried toward me. “You have any other bags?”

“No, just this.”

“Good. Let’s go.”

I knew Trista long enough to know she wasn’t the warm and fuzzy type, and we weren’t exactly on good terms these days, but would a little sympathy have killed her?

“Any word on Cruz?” I asked.

She smoothed a hand over her bun, not answering my question. The fact that she wouldn’t look me in the eyes made the giant knot in my stomach tighten even more. She stopped walking and turned to me. “He’s in the ICU. It was a clean shot, and the bullet went right out the other side, but he lost a lot of blood. Needed a transfusion. Bones said, as long as he doesn’t get an infection, he should be okay, but nobody knows right now if he’ll get one or not. He hasn’t woken up yet. They have him whacked up on so many meds that he might not be coherent for a few days, so don’t expect much.”

Trista moved to walk away, but I grabbed her arm. She glanced down at my fingers holding her bicep, and it looked like it physically hurt her not to show her disgust at my hand on her. I peered into her dark eyes, searching for the girl who once spent Friday nights at my house, watching movies and talking about boys. “Have you seen him?”

Her gaze moved from my hand and focused on my face. She simply nodded.  

“Do you think he’ll be okay?”

Her lip curled. “I’m not a fucking doctor, and I already told you what they said.”

She tried to rip her arm away from me, but I refused to let her go. I needed the Trista who once cared about me enough to be completely honest with me. “But I’m asking you. You’ve seen him. You know him. Do you think he’ll pull through? Be honest with me, and don’t you fucking dare give me any false hope.”

“He’s a tough kid. He’ll be fine,” she sneered, before taking off and leaving me to chase after her through the crowds.

I finally found her outside, and we walked in silence through the parking lot. I was relieved when she approached a van and not her bike. I might’ve wanted to get to my brother as soon as possible, but I wasn’t exactly looking forward to wrapping my arms around her waist, and holding on tight for the half hour commute to the hospital.

We got in, and she tossed the van in reverse before heading toward the 101.

“So,” she finally said, after fifteen minutes of silence. “You took off again. Don’t tell me Ryder knocked you up for the second time.”

All the air in my lungs vacated my body. “He told you,” I stated, surprised she was able to keep it to herself this long.

She let out an exaggerated sigh. “Of course he did. We’re family.”

“Last time I was here, Ryder wasn’t even talking to you.”

“That’s the thing about family, Sawyer. Even when you hate each other, you’re still there for one another when it counts. The MC taught us that. No matter what, we’ve got each other’s back. Now, tell me something. What has running ever got you?”

I shifted in my seat, and focused my attention on the passing cars because I didn’t have answer for her. At least, not one I wanted to share. Because, if I was being honest with myself, the only thing running ever got me was heartbreak.

***

The hospital came into view both too quickly and yet not fast enough. I felt like I had bricks in my stomach, my emotions flip flopping, anger and grief twirling into an ugly knot. I wanted to see my brother, but I was so furious at the whole situation. Mostly, I was furious at myself.

I knew, in my head, that leaving this time had no impact on what happened, but I couldn’t help but think this was all my fault. I ran to escape the club, and to save my son, but, in doing so, I left my baby brother behind to the very people I despised and blamed for all the wrong that happened in my life.

The tires squealed as Trista flew into a space, not bothering to come to a full stop before slamming the car in park. I hopped out, not expecting her to do the same. “You don’t have to walk me in,” I said.

She shrugged. “It’s my shift anyway.”

“Shift?” I questioned, but she ignored me, and kept walking. I followed her, trying to keep pace as she blew past the front desk and right into the elevator. She clearly had been to see Cruz before now.

The ride up in the elevator was extremely tense, and deafeningly quiet, which gave me way too much time to get lost in my own head. I was sick of thinking, but no matter how hard I tried to flip the switch off, I couldn’t.

I drew a deep breath as the elevator dinged and the doors opened. This was it. Whatever happened now, whatever condition Cruz was in, would change how everything else in my life moved forward. I shook my hands, trying to calm the nerves, and to give myself the strength to just put one foot in front of the other.

Trista exited, made a left, and then a quick right, with me right on her heels. She nodded her head toward a door. I inhaled sharply, pulling the door open. She held it open for me, and followed in behind me.  

Nothing could have prepared me for what I walked into. I knew Cruz was in bad shape, and I knew that he had been out cold since the incident, but actually seeing my baby brother hooked up to a million wires gutted my insides.

The conflicting emotions that had been battling in my mind converged into complete and total distress. Tears poured out of me in buckets. My throat and lungs tightened, and I couldn’t breathe. I choked on the sobs pushing their way up my throat, and just as my legs gave out, strong arms caught me.

I had no idea where Axel had come from, but I was grateful he was there. I cried into his chest until I couldn’t possibly shed another tear. I pulled away, sniffling, and pointed to the mess I left on his shirt.

“Sorry for that,” I joked, trying to lighten up the moment.

“It’s just a shirt. You okay now?”

I forced a smile. “Depends on your definition of okay. If it’s at least being able to stand on my own, then yeah, I’m okay.”

Trista, who left the room as soon as I broke down, reentered. “Axel, I got it from here. Shift’s up.”

There she went talking about shifts again. Axel glanced at his phone. “Shit, Paige is waiting for me,” he muttered as he grabbed his cut. He turned back to me. “This might not mean much, but I have faith he’ll be okay.”

“It means more than you’ll ever know.” I gave him a genuine smile. “Don’t keep your girl waiting any longer.”

He gave me a wink as took off.  Trista moved past me, and sat in the chair next to the bed, kicking her feet up on the side table.

“Where’s my Mom?” I asked.

“She had a doctor’s appointment. She should be back soon.”

“You don’t have to stay.” I was surprised she was there.

Trista put her feet back on the ground and shook her head. She ran her tense fingers through her hair, and looked at me like I was an idiot. “You don’t get it. Do you?”

“Get what?”

“It doesn’t matter whether I want to stay or not because I’m staying. Cruz is our family, and we protect our family.”

It was a sweet sentiment, but anger still boiled to the surface. “You’re the reason he was shot!”

Trista flew up from her seat, and got right in my face. “Cruz did this to himself. He’s the one fucking around with Las Almas. Playing both sides. Doing God knows what for them.”

I swallowed the biting response, and didn’t say anything, because I knew she was right. My little brother was in far too deep, and neither me, nor Ryder, were able to pull him out. I was angry, and I was taking it out on the wrong person. Trista didn’t need to be here, but she was, and I was being a total bitch to her.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, but my apology fell on deaf ears.

Trista narrowed her eyes. “One of these days, you’ll stop blaming the club for all your fucking problems, and realize that all we’ve ever done is try to help you and your family. You’re just too fucking stubborn or stupid to realize it.”

I snorted at her words, so sick of the club, and everything it stood for. “Maybe we don’t want your help.”

“You are stupid,” she exclaimed. “Fine. I’ll call the club off watch, but if anything fucking happens, it’s all on you.”

“What else is new?” I spat. “You’ve been blaming shit on me since I came back. You still think I’m the rat?”

She rolled her eyes. “The rat’s taken care of, but that doesn’t mean I trust you, because I don’t.”

A laugh rumbled up my throat, and the look on Trista’s face only darkened. After everything that had happened, we were still at each other’s throats. It was ridiculous and sad. The memory of our friendship that was once so strong was fading farther and farther away. There was no hope for us, and as the realization settled in, the laughing stopped.

“Will we ever be friends again?” I asked.

The slightest flicker of sorrow flashed in her dark eyes, but she blinked it away, turning them back to stone. Her lip curled as she stepped back toward me. “No.”

I tried not to let the disappointment show, and stood tall as she walked toward the door.

She rested her hand on the doorframe and stopped. “And do me a favor. Stay the fuck away from my cousin. He deserves better than some lying slut.”

FOUR

RYDER

I sat on the couch in the back room of Raven’s Nest, finally feeling pretty fucking good. The fifth of Jack I had just downed was finally working its magic and making me numb. One of the groupies, CeCe, I think, was using my neck as a lollipop while her hand stroked my cock.

The vision of Cruz’s blood dripping down my fingers finally started to clear. My eyes slipped shut, and I leaned my head back, trying to forget the past couple of days. The door slammed open, but I didn’t bother to see who it was. They’d get the hint and leave the minute they saw what was going on in here.

“Oh, my God. Sorry to interrupt.” Sawyer’s voice was like a shot of adrenaline. My eyes popped open just as she backed toward the door.

Her blonde hair was a disheveled mess, probably from running her fingers through it. There were faint black lines streaking her cheeks, and her eyes were bloodshot and swollen. The desire to make her feel even more pain overtook me.

I stood up, my cock sticking straight out of my jeans. I grabbed CeCe, and held her back against my chest. I stared at Sawyer with all the hatred I felt toward her, oozing out of my pores. Even with my cock pressed against CeCe’s ass, Sawyer didn’t break our intense gaze. I smirked. “If I’m lucky, she’ll keep it.”

“You son of a bitch.” Sawyer picked up the bottle of Jack, and threw it against the wall above my head. I bent down, and covered myself with my hands. Glass and liquid rained down on us.

The bar slut let out a blood-curdling scream. “You crazy bitch.”

“Oh, shut up, you whore, and get the fuck out.”

She puffed her chest out, like that would deter Sawyer. “We’re busy.”

Sawyer squared hers shoulders, and stepped up to CeCe. “Does it look like I care?”

She looked absolutely fucking crazy, but she was still the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I mentally punched myself. Beauty meant shit when it belonged to a heartless, child-stealing bitch.

CeCe opened her mouth to talk, when Sawyer grabbed her by her ponytail, and tossed her ass out into the hall, slamming the door in her face. She clicked the lock, which I should have done earlier, and then stalked over to me. I stuffed my shit back in my pants, and pulled my zipper up.                                                   

“I came here to apologize. To beg you to forgive me.” Tears pricked her eyes, but she was strong in her resolve. “Now, I realize how much of a mistake that was. You’re a lying bastard!”

“Me?” I punched my chest as anger coursed through my veins.

“You promised me.” There was a crack in her resolve, and tears poured down her cheeks. “You told me you’d take care of him. Told me to trust you. And look at him now. He’s lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to a million fucking machines.” She came at me, hands wailing away against my chest. “Because of you!”

I grabbed her wrists, and held her back. She fought me, tossing and turning her arms, but I refused to let go. I tightened my grip, and pulled her close until she was looking straight into my eyes. “Don’t you dare put the blame on me. I did what I could.”

“I trusted you,” she cried out, as she fought my hold. I finally threw her arms away from me. “I trusted you,” she repeated.

“I guess I’m just living up to your expectations,” I growled.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I’m incapable of protecting the ones I love. Isn’t that why you left? Why you took my fucking son away from me?”

Her lips parted, and I waited for more bullshit to come out of her mouth. “I hoped you’d prove me wrong, but that’s okay, because I’m getting used to you disappointing me. Go back to your sluts and your liquor.”

“At least they don’t expect fucking miracles from me.”

She shook her head. “I never expected any miracles. Just a little compassion.”

“You want compassion? Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. How’s that for compassion?”

Her lip curled, and fire raged in her eyes. She took long strides toward me until I could see the tears building on her lids. “Not for me. You couldn’t protect Cruz, but you can be there for him now, and what are you doing? Drinking yourself into an early grave. Have you even been by the hospital?”

I clenched my teeth, and my jaw ticked.

“That’s what I thought,” she spat, and stormed out of the room.   

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” Trista yelled out in the hallway.

“Oh, fuck off!” Sawyer screamed.

Two seconds later, Trista stomped into the room. “I’m either going to put a muzzle on that bitch or shoot her.”

Ignoring her, I walked over to grab the Jack when I realized it was splattered across the wall. Fuck me. Luckily, I had another bottle stashed beneath the couch cushions. I twisted the cap off, tossed it across the room, and took a few gulps, relishing in the burn.

Trista ripped the bottle from my hand, and spilled more Jack on the carpet. Such a damn waste. She slammed the bottle down on the table, and shoved me hard in the chest.

“What the fuck was that for?” I demanded.

“Axel wanted to give you another day, but I am sick and fucking tired of your shit.”

“Get in line!” I muttered, and fell back into the couch. “Besides, why the fuck do I need to be sober? We figured out who was stealing our parts, the rat was found and dealt with, we have a truce with El Presidente, Velasquez got his ass fired, so all is right in the world again.”

“All is not right in the world!  Open your fucking eyes. Cruz was shot, and we have no idea why. It’s pretty clear he was working with Las Almas, but for what reason? And, if they weren’t holding something over his head, then we’re dealing with a traitor. Again! The heist almost went fucking south, and if it weren’t for Chen and his men recovering that body and disposing of it, we’d be fucking screwed. Not to mention, your ex-girlfriend is fucking certifiable.”   

“She’s not my problem anymore,” I growled, snatching the bottle back off the table.

Trista ripped it from my hands once again. “She is your problem. Especially because she called us off Cruz’s protection watch.”

I reached for the bottle, but she held it out of my reach. Fine. She wanted to play it that way. I stumbled past her, and headed to the bar. Trista grabbed my arm, and twisted me around. “It doesn’t bother you that Cruz is left unprotected?”

“If that’s what Sawyer wants, then fuck her. She thinks she’s so good at dealing with all her problems on her own, then fucking let her. I’m done.”

FIVE

SAWYER

Mom and I set up camp in Cruz’s room. By early afternoon, Evie came running through the door. The worry and panic on her face was my worst nightmare. It was a reminder that, sometimes, one of your own goes down. As indestructible as all the Idols felt they were, this was proof that they weren’t. This could have easily have been anyone of them, but it wasn’t, and I felt exactly how Evie looked.

“He hasn’t woken up yet?” she asked, terror lacing her words.  

I stood up from the chair I had spent most of my day in, and wrapped her in my arms. “Not yet. Soon. Have faith.”

I let her go, and she moved to his side, reaching for his hand. Mom stood from the chair she placed right beside Cruz. She’d been in it every waking moment, refusing to leave his side, so he wasn’t alone when he woke up.  She gave Evie a kiss on the cheek. “Sit,” she commanded and pointed to the chair. “I was going to get some coffee. Would you like anything, sweetie?”

She shook her head. “No, thank you.”

Mom turned to me, and I held up my hand to let her know I was good. Evie sat in the chair, and brought Cruz’s hand to her lips. She pressed a kiss to his knuckles as tears streamed down her cheeks. “Baby, please wake up,” she sobbed. “I love you so much. We can’t grow old together with you in this hospital bed. I need you to open your eyes. Just once. So I know you’re okay.”

The tears and sobs became more aggressive as she choked on her words. “This is all my fault.”

Her words perked my ears up. Her fault? I never even thought to ask her.

“Evie,” I said, sitting up in my chair, and leaning toward her.“What is your fault?”

She sniffed, and stared up to the ceiling. Big fat tears cascaded down her cheeks. “The reason he’s dealing. The reason he’s working with Las Almas.” She buried her head into Cruz’s hand.  

I stood and moved closer to her, resting my hand on her shoulder. She blinked her blue eyes up at me. “You need to tell me what you know because, when he pulls through this, it’s not over. He’s playing with fire, and this,” I pointed to Cruz, motionless and lost to a dream world. “Will be permanent. There will be no pulling out of it next time.”

She squeezed his hand, and bit her lip as it quivered. Her fingers traced his hair, pushing it off his forehead. “I’m sorry, baby. But, I told you to tell them and you didn’t. I know you wanted to handle it on your own, but I can’t let you. Not anymore.” She took a deep breath, and then turned her attention back to me. “Las Almas told him if he didn’t deal for them at the high school…” Her nose twitched, and it was as if the words she was trying to get out, caused her physical pain.

“Evie, what did they tell him?”

“They threatened to hurt me. He wouldn’t go into detail, and I was lucky I got that out of him, but whatever they said scared him. I’ve never seen him so shaken. So upset and angry. He hated it. Hated the very idea, but he wouldn’t risk me being hurt. He didn’t want to disrespect the club or Ryder. He loves Ryder like a brother, and he didn’t want to disappoint him either, so he took matters into his own hands, even though I begged him not to. He told me it was just for a few months. Then, last week, someone he sold to OD’ed.” Her eyes grew sadder, if that was even possible. “It was my best friend’s brother. He survived, but barely. Cruz and I got in a huge fight, and I told him I didn’t care what he did, but he needed to find a way out. That night, the night he was shot, he went to some guy, Chubs, I think, to tell him he was done. He texted me.” She pulled out her cell phone, and handed it to me. “These are the last two messages I got from him that night.”

I took her phone, and read messages on the screen.

I tried, baby. I promise. I tried. But he told me I was done when he said I was.

Please don’t leave me. I tried. I love you.

My eyes slid shut as I took in this information. I wanted to hurt him and hug him at the same time. It was foolish yet honorable. “It’s not your fault,” I said.

“How can you say that? I told him to get out. They shot him because he told them he was done. He told them that because of me.”

“They used you to get what they wanted. You were innocent in this whole thing. Cruz shouldn’t have tried to deal with them on his own. He’s lucky he’s in this bed and not six feet under.”

It was honorable what he did, but stupid. He could have got himself killed. But, what about Evie? If he didn’t do what Las Almas asked… I couldn’t even think about it. She was a seventeen year old kid who should be worrying about the SAT’s and prom, not about her boyfriend dealing drugs to keep her from getting attacked, and God knows what else, by a group of scumbags.

I blew out a breath. This was exactly why I left. Why I needed to get Liam away from the club. No good could come of it. Looking into Evie’s big blue eyes only confirmed that.

Cruz’s finger twitched, and Evie and I both turned with baited breath.

“Cruz, baby. Can you hear me?” Evie dropped to her knees, hugging his hand closely to her chest.

He blinked one eye open and then the next. My hand flew to my mouth. It was the best thing I had ever seen. Relief flooded me. My baby brother was back.  

Cruz’s eyes slid from Evie to me. Guilt and regret streaked his face. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered.  

I waved his apology away, just happy to see emotion on his face, to hear his voice. “We’re just happy you’re alive. Awake. Okay, I’m going to get a nurse.” I hurried out of the room, and headed toward the nurse’s station.

Halfway down the hall, I became lightheaded. I blinked my eyes, trying to clear the fog, and felt myself sway. A large hand wrapped around my arm and steadied me. I composed myself, taking a deep breath.

Bones studied my face. “Are you okay?”

It was weird seeing him in his doctor’s coat, knowing the tattoos that lied beneath the white. The secret life that he lived outside of these walls. “Yeah, I’m okay. I just got really lightheaded.”

“Have you eaten anything today?” he asked, genuine concern in his tone.

I shook my head. “I haven’t been feeling right, so no. Stress and nerves.”

“Maybe you should have some blood work done.  Make sure you don’t have any vitamin deficiencies.”

“That’s not necessary. Cruz is awake. I was coming out here to get a nurse.”

Bones sighed in relief. “Thank God. He was starting to worry me. I’ll do you one better than a nurse. I’ll go check on him.”

“I thought you worked at the clinic?”

“I’m on rotation right now, so I fill in here at the hospital when they need me.”

“Thank you,” I said, and followed him back down the hallway.

We entered the room. Evie had crawled into his hospital bed. She snuggled into his good side, and Cruz played with her hair. They reminded me of Ryder and me a few years ago: young and hopelessly in love. Not aware of the world and only each other.

“So, the patient is finally awake!” Bones exclaimed as he made his presence known. “Took you long enough, you bastard.”

“Nice to see you too, Bones.”

“Dr. Bones to you,” he joked. “I’m just going to do a quick exam and check your vitals.

Evie jumped off the bed. “I’m going to go get your mom.”

“Oh, I totally forgot about Mom. I’ll go get her,” I said, but got dizzy again, and had to steady my hand against the wall.

“You okay?” Evie asked.

Bones turned an eye in my direction while he checked over Cruz.

“I’m fine,” I said.

“Your vitals look good,” Bones explained to Cruz before turning in my direction. “Evie, go get Mrs. Lennox, and I’m going to take Sawyer here to get something to eat.”

I started to protest, but the sternness in his gaze had my mouth stay shut.

“Cruz, I’ll send a nurse in.”

Cruz smiled. “Thanks, Bones.”

Bones nodded, and then rested a hand on the small of my back as he guided me out.

“I’m fine, really,” I insisted now that he wasn’t giving me the evil eye.

“Just let me do what I do, please.”

“Fine.”

Bones detoured to the nurse’s station, mentioning a few things, pointed down the hall at Cruz’s room to a petite nurse, who smiled and headed in that direction. We stopped at the vending machine, and he popped in two quarters, pressing the button for a bag of peanuts that he insisted I eat.

After finishing off the entire bag, Bones then showed me to an empty room. I sat down on the paper mat as he slid over on a chair. “Just going to do a little blood work.”

I sat there, impatiently, as he took a couple vials of blood. My brother was awake, and I was sitting in here getting drained because I had a few moments of lightheadedness. But, since I was sitting there, I figured now was as good as time as any to ask a few questions that had always been on my mind.

“You’re a doctor.”

He cocked his eyebrow. “I am.”

“So, why the club? You have everything you could possibly need. A steady job with a good income. A house.”

He tied a band on my bicep, and held my arm out. “Family. The club is all I got. My parents died when I was young, and if it weren’t for the Club, especially your dad, I don’t know where I’d be.”

“My dad?”

Bones nodded. “He believed in me when no one else did. I’ll always remember that.”

I didn’t know if it was the emotional leftovers from seeing Cruz wake up, or if it was hearing someone say something genuine about my father, about the way I remembered him, but tears spilled from my eyes and down my cheeks.

I swiped at them. “Sorry. It’s been a day.”

Bones slid on the chair across the room and grabbed a tissue. He handed it to me and smiled. “I’m going to send these down to the lab. Head back to Cruz. I’ll come get you when I get the results.”

I forced a smile. “The results that tell you there’s nothing wrong with me?”

“Yes,” he laughed.

I walked back to Cruz’s room. Mom was crying, hugging his head, holding Evie’s hand, and speaking a mile a minute in Spanish.

“Mija,” Mom cried when she saw me. “My baby is okay,” she repeated over and over again. I joined the hug, so happy to have my family together again. I might have made a life of my own in New York, but this was one thing New York would never have. It would never have my family.

I finally sat down, feeling relaxed for the first time since I got that dreaded call, when Bones appeared just outside the door and gave me a wave. Mom was still holding onto Cruz so I excused myself.

“So, let me guess. There’s nothing wrong with me.”

Bones’s expression went serious, and he nodded for me to walk with him. He came to a stop at the end of the hall. My stomach knotted up as panic slowly crept in. I didn’t like his face. Was I dying? Or, maybe it’s just a vitamin deficiency like he originally thought.

“What is it?” I finally asked unable to wait another minute.

He rested his hand on my shoulder, and gave it a squeeze. “Sawyer, you’re pregnant.”

My world shifted off its axis, and I backed away from Bones. “No,” I muttered, but suddenly the realization smacked into me. Getting sick on the plane, the lightheadedness, it had nothing to do with nerves. “Oh my God. Not again.”

“Again?” Bones questioned, but I couldn’t speak. Couldn’t think. My back slid against the wall, and I collapsed onto the floor. My breath came in short gasps, as my head fell into my hands.

“Calm down. Breathe. Do you want me to call Ryder?” he asked.

My eyes snapped to his. “No! He can’t know.” Bones gave me a curious look and I sputtered, “I mean, not yet.”

“At least I wore a condom this time.” Ryder’s words echoed in my head. He might have worn a condom that time, but, out on the cliffs, he didn’t.

What the hell was I going to do now?

SIX

SAWYER

A battle raged in my mind for days. The side I feared most kept winning. I had to tell Ryder. I denied him once, and I couldn’t do it again. History was repeating itself, and this time I would do it the right way. The problem was, this time was different, and I was petrified of what he might say or do.

I rested a hand on my stomach, thinking of the tiny life growing inside. There were so many days that I regretted giving up Liam. The pictures and updates his adoptive parents sent me, while comforting, still hurt because I couldn’t witness all his milestones myself. I constantly reminded myself that I made the right decision, and, when he was eighteen, his parents told me they would tell him about me and give him the option to contact me. I held onto hope that he would. It’s all I had.

I couldn’t go through it again. But, it wasn’t my decision alone. It was ours. As I pulled into Raven’s Nest, I drew a deep breath. Bones told me Ryder had been spending most of his time here, so I figured it was a good place to start. I prayed he wasn’t preoccupied like last time. Drunk and belligerent I could handle. Him with another woman… seeing that sluts mouth on him nearly broke me.

It was now or never, I thought as I stepped out of the car, and headed into Raven’s Nest. I had walked through these doors so many times in the past couple of months, I always felt like an outsider, and today was no different. If anything, I felt even more unwelcome than ever before. The feeling didn’t sit well for the conversation I was preparing myself for.

The place, while usually filled with whores and drunks, was empty except for the bartender and Pops. Pops turned when the door chimed as I walked in. It had been years since I had seen him, but other than a few more gray hairs and wrinkles, he looked exactly the same.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” Pops smirked, taking a sip from his rock glass.

“No cat. Came in all on my own,” I joked. “I was hoping to find Ryder.”

“Don’t you think you’ve done enough damage to that boy?”

The corner of my lip tugged. “I thought you all were indestructible.”

“While we like to believe that, you and I both know that isn’t true. Sit. Have a drink with me.”

I accepted his kind offer and slid onto the bar stool, realizing just as Pops held his hand up to the bartender that I couldn’t drink. Shit.

“Where is everyone?” I asked, looking around the bar and stalling.

“Out on business,” Pops said with a smile and I knew it probably involved something illegal. He tilted his chin up at me.

“What are you drinking?” Pops asked.

“It’s still early. So, how about a water with lemon.”

“Don’t tell me New York made you soft?”

“I have to go back to the hospital. If my mom smells alcohol on my breath at this hour...”

“Avoiding the wrath of Maria. Good idea.” Pops winked.  “How’s Cruz?”

I shrugged. “As good as he can be. Should be out of the hospital in a few days.”

“Did you just come from there?”

“I did.”

“You must’ve just missed Ryder, then. He and Axel headed up there about twenty minutes ago to talk to Cruz. Or, I should say, Axel dragged Ryder’s drunk ass up there. After knocking some sense into him.”

I tucked a stray blonde strand behind my ear.  “I hear he’s been drinking a lot.”

Pops nodded and took another swig from his glass, as the bartender placed my water in front of me. “Ryder has a big heart. Some say it’s his downfall. For me, I think he’s blessed. To be able to feel and love that much, is a gift. But it’s also a curse. When those emotions turn bad, they consume him, and he spirals into darkness. I only hope that, this time, you two work out whatever it is. Last time, when you left, it nearly killed him. To sit back and watch someone you look at as your own destroy themselves,” he paused, taking another sip of his drink. “It was hard.”  

“I can only imagine. Seeing Cruz in that hospital bed, unable to do anything, it was…” My words faltered as tears pricked my eyes.

Pops rested his hand on mine. “He’s tough like your dad.”

Already too clogged with emotion, the mention of my dad caused the tears to slip from my lids. As a little girl, my dad was the strongest man in the world. I honestly believed there was nothing that he couldn’t do. I idolized him. When he went to jail, everything I thought, everything I made myself believe, suddenly felt like lies. This imaginary world I had created came crashing down.  

I violently swiped at my tears, but they wouldn’t stop. Damn pregnancy hormones. Pops handed me a tissue, and I blotted the streams.

“You and your brother were the most important things in your father’s lives.”

I shook my head. “That isn’t true. The club was. He chose it over us.”

Pops turned toward me, his eyes determined yet sincere. “That is not true. You were his world. The day he found out your mother was pregnant with you? I’d never seen him that happy. From that moment on, he was a changed man. He stopped living for himself, and started living for you. What happened to him, it was just a lot of bad choices catching up to him. You can’t fault him for that. We all make mistakes. But, don’t you think for a second that he didn’t try to do right by you because that’s all he ever did.”

Pops swiveled back in his chair, and finished off his drink. His words spun around in my head on rotation. All this time. All these years, I’ve held so much pain and resentment toward my father, and no matter what anyone said, it never changed anything. But Pops was right. We all made mistakes. I made more than my fair share.

“Another?” the bartender asked Pops.

A smile spread across his face. “Why not, Larry?”

Larry walked over to the wall, and held up the nearly empty bottle. “We’re running low. I have another bottle in the back. I’ll go grab it.”

Pops nodded, and Larry strolled in the back, disappearing from view.

I took one last sip of my water, setting the empty glass back down. “I better get going. Thanks for the talk.”

“Anytime. And remember, you’ll always be a part of this family, Sawyer. Maybe one day you’ll stop hating us, and accept us for who we are.”

I walked up to Pops, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I don’t hate you. I never could.”

Pops wrapped his big fingers around mine, halting me. He smiled. “So... when are you going to tell Ryder you’re pregnant?”

My mouth dropped open and my eyes popped wide. “How’d you…?”

A hearty laugh rumbled up his throat. “Water?” He raised an eyebrow.

I moved my lips, but nothing came out.

“Plus I’ve known you for a very long time, Sawyer, and I know you aren’t one to turn on the waterworks. When I found out I was going to be a father, it was the best damn day of my life. I expect Ryder will feel the same.”

I lowered my eyes, playing with the wrapper from my straw.“I don’t know. It’s complicated.”

“Complications are what you make them. It doesn’t have to be.”

I let his words sink in. He was right. I only hoped that Ryder felt the same. “Thanks, Pops.”

All of a sudden, the front door flew open, causing both Pops and I to turn. A figure stood in the doorway: Victor fucking Velasquez, the FBI agent who tried to blackmail me. I squinted against the sunlight streaming in, not believing my eyes. Velasquez stormed in, raising a gun, and pointed it at us. I barely had time to gasp before shots flew past us, shattering the glasses on the wall. Pops reached for his gun, but Velasquez turned the gun on him instead. His eyes were possessed, pure evil pouring out of them.

“Don’t fucking think about it, old man.” Pops put his hands up, but I knew he wouldn’t surrender so easily. He was forming a plan. I just wish I knew what it was.

“What the fuck are you doing here? Are you arresting us? What are the charges?” I demanded.

“Charges?” Velasquez spat his laugh, more of a cackle, reminding me of a psychopath or something. “Haven’t you heard, girly? Thanks to you and these other assholes, I’m no longer employed at the FBI. I’m no longer employed anywhere! And, for that, I’m going to make you pay.”

My hands shook in my lap, wishing I’d kept that pepper spray in my purse. I needed to stall, hopefully long enough that Larry could call the cops. Or the rest of the guys. “Me? What did I ever do to you?”

His lip curled in a snarl. “You told me you’d find a way to destroy me, and that I shouldn’t underestimate you. Now, it’s your turn not to underestimate me, bitch.”

He aimed the gun at my temple, cocking the trigger. My heart battered my chest, and I swallowed down the panic. This wasn’t how this was supposed to end.  There were so many things left unsaid. So many things I needed to do to reconcile the mistakes of my past. For me and my baby.

“Please, don’t!” I begged and pleaded, clutching my stomach. “Please. There has to be—”

He lifted his hand higher, the gun a beacon to what was to come. “Shut the fuck up!” his finger twitched.

“No! The baby,” Pops yelled, shoving me to the floor just as the loud bang of the gun echoed throughout the bar.  

His body crumbled to the ground. A scream tore from my mouth as I realized the bullet struck him right in his chest.  I stared at his eyes as they dulled, so full of light only moments ago. In the blink of an eye, they were now lifeless and absent of any reminder of Pops. My heart shattered into a million tiny pieces. I couldn’t manage to catch my breath. “No! No! No!” Tears poured out of me, sobs strangling my throat.

Blood spilled from Pops’ chest.  He was motionless, unresponsive, but I refused to believe he was dead, and pushed my hand to his chest to try and stop the bleeding. My arm was ripped away though.

I tried to pry Velasquez’s hand off of me, and get back to Pops, but his death grip was unbreakable. “Get off of me!” I screamed. “I need to help him. I need to—”

“I don’t give a fuck what you need. You’re coming with me, bitch,” he snarled, as pain exploded behind my eyes, and the world went black.  

SEVEN

RYDER

Axel and I finished our conversation with Cruz, and headed back to Raven’s Nest. What a fucking mess he’d gotten himself into. The kid was lucky that Chubs was no longer a problem. As far as we knew, after speaking to El Presidente, Chubs had been taken care of. Permanently. But, just to be sure, Rogue said he’d make a call to El Presidente himself. If Cruz had just waited, even an hour, before going to Chubs, this whole mess would’ve been completely avoided.

My buzz had worn off, and I was craving another drink, but I’d promised Axel I was done, and I was. If I had been sober, maybe I would’ve picked up on the bigger hole Cruz had dug for himself. We pulled our bikes into the parking lot and removed our helmets.

Axel took his phone out, and a stupid ass grin spread across his face. I punched him in the shoulder. “What are you so happy about?”

“Paige sent me…never mind.” A sinister smirk tugged at his lips, and I shook my head with amusement.

“At least one of us is happy,” I sighed.

“Never thought I’d see the day.” He slid his phone back into his pocket, and turned to me.  “You’ll be next. You and Sawyer will work your shit out.”

“Some things you just can’t fix,” I stated. “Come on, I’ll buy you a drink.”

“I thought you weren’t drinking?”

I patted his back, and pushed him forward. “Just because I’m buying you a drink doesn’t mean I’m drinking.”

Axel and I continued to bullshit as I pushed into Raven’s Nest. We were both laughing at something stupid when, in the next breath, the laughter was sucker punched out of us.

My eyes scanned the bar, taking in the shattered bottles and overturned stools. I reached for my Colt, and stepped in farther, surveying the rest of the place. I checked down the back hallway then scanned the bar before landing on…Oh, God, no!

“Pops!” Axel cried. He ran to the lifeless body on the floor, and gathered him in his arms. Pain and agony etched his face as tears poured from his eyes. “No, no, no. Dammit! No! Not Pops. Not like this. No!”

The gun in my hand suddenly weighed too much for me to hold up, and my hand fell limply to my side. My legs shook, and could barely hold me up, but I needed to be strong, so I pushed my own pain and heartache aside to comfort my best friend.

My legs felt like lead as I walked over to him. I rested my hand on his shoulder, wishing there was more I could do. Axel began to rock, holding Pops’s limp body as his tears fell, mixing with Pop’s blood. Time seemed to standstill in that moment; as if we were trapped in this hell and we’d never get out.

Ten, maybe twenty minutes passed. I wasn’t sure. It could’ve been days for all I knew. I grabbed Axel’s arms and tried to pull him away. “Axel, he’s gone. We need to call the club together. Figure out what the fuck happened.”

He choked on his sobs as he slowly released his grip. I helped him stand, but he fell right into my arms. He cried against my chest, and I held him until he finally pulled away.

The pain gave way, morphing quickly to anger. A vicious and lethal look took over his face. He seethed and his fists clenched.

“We’ll find them,” I swore. “Whoever did this will pay.”

“They will die,” Axel growled through clenched teeth. His entire body shook with fury.

The door flew open, and both Axel and I grabbed our guns and aimed them at the door, ready to shoot whatever motherfucker invaded our club. Larry held his hands up. “It’s me.”

“Larry, what the fuck happened? Where were you?” I asked.

Larry was out of breath, his own gun out, as he rested his hands on his knees. “It was that Fed. After the shooting, I tailed him, but I lost him at the intersection. He went south; that’s all I got. I’m so sorry, man. I tried to,” he paused, sucking in another breath. “But I couldn’t…”

“Velasquez!” Axel shouted. “That son of a bitch. He’s fuckin’ roadkill.”

“There’s something else,” Larry wheezed. I gave him a nod to continue. “He took Sawyer.”

All the hatred I had for her, and for what she did, flew out the fucking window. My heart came to a complete stop, and then picked up at rapid speed. Anger surged through my veins, coursing through every inch. If he as much touched a single hair on her fucking body…

“They went south?” I demanded.

He nodded, wiping sweat from his brow. “That’s all I know. I tried to stay with them, but he knew I was tailing them, so he took a quick turn at the intersection, a truck came by, and I lost them. I’m sorry. I came back here to get everyone else.”

I pushed my hand into my head, trying to keep myself together. “Call the Club. Everybody!” I yelled, and Larry took off to the back.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I slid it out. I had a new message from a number I didn’t recognize. I tapped the screen, and the anger that was surging through me exploded into a fiery rage. I picked up a glass from a table, and hauled it across the room.

“Fuck!” I yelled.

Axel, still shaking with rage, turned his attention to me, and I handed him the phone. His lip curled, and his breathing turned heavy at the text.

You destroyed my life. Now, I destroy yours. There was a picture of Sawyer, tied up and gagged, and her cheeks were wet with tears, but her eyes were closed.

All I could picture were the last words I’d said to her, and how horribly I treated her. I clenched my eyes shut, desperate to get the image out of my head. No. I would find her. I will find her and make up for everything--or I would die trying.

Twenty minutes later, the entire MC was standing in the remains of the bar, guns locked and loaded. Larry had taken a blanket from the back, and draped it over Pops’ body. Nobody else needed to see him like that. But, as they all discovered who was beneath the cloth, tears fell and bodies collapsed into chairs. Shock became evident on all their faces. We all needed to mourn, but right now, we needed to get Sawyer back. And we needed to kill Victor Velasquez.

I showed the picture that he’d sent me to everyone around the room. Trista held onto it, studying it intently, before she finally stood from the chair she had fallen into. “I know where they are.”

“How?” I demanded.

“Right here. Left corner. That red spray paint on the wall in the shape of a star. It’s in the abandoned warehouse on the other side of the docks.”

“Lets go!” I shouted, and Trista held her hand up.

“Wait a minute. We’re not going in there without a plan.”

“I don’t need a fucking plan. I just need Sawyer alive and Velasquez annihilated. He’s one fucking person. We surround the building. Whoever has the shot, take it.”

Axel stepped forward. “I want the shot.”

I nodded. “Axel gets the shot. Capture him, whatever,” I instructed to the rest of the group.
“But don’t kill him. Let Axel do what he wants. For Pops.”

Heads around the room nodded in agreement, and we all headed out to our bikes. Just as I was about to mount mine, Bones stopped me.

“There’s something I have to tell you.”

“You can tell me after,” I urged.

He grabbed my arm, halting me in my tracks, and making me face him.“No, you need to know now because I’m sure she hasn’t told you yet.”

“Hasn’t told me what?”

“Ryder, Sawyer’s pregnant.”

I didn’t know if life was playing a cruel joke on me, or if I even heard him right. “Pregnant? How do you even know? Did she tell you?”  

“I did blood work on her at the hospital a couple days ago.”

I couldn’t process this, and still focus on the task ahead. I couldn’t. It was… it was too much. “Thanks for telling me,” I mumbled. I took a deep breath, clearing my mind, and pulled my helmet on.

Trista strode up to me, her hands on her hips, and I could see the bitchfest brewing in her mind.

“What is it?”

“Why are we putting our necks on the line to save her? She didn’t want our help with Cruz. Why should we help her now?”

While I loved my cousin, there were times I wanted to resort back to our playground days, and shove her to the ground. But I knew it had nothing to do with not caring. The problem was, she cared too much to the point that, when she got betrayed, she couldn’t let it go. The betrayal consumed her and dictated her actions. Being betrayed by Sawyer, one of the few people she let pierce that hard exterior of hers, there was nothing worse in her mind.

The way she stood with defiance, I could tell she was hell bent on staying behind. I took my helmet off and admitted the truth.

“It’s not just about Sawyer. She’s pregnant. We need to save my baby.”

The fury in Trista’s eyes gave way to shock, and then understanding. She licked her lips and nodded her head. “Let’s do this.”

EIGHT

SAWYER

Pain radiated from behind my eyes as I blinked them open. Everything hurt. My head was fuzzy, but it slowly cleared, reminding me of everything that had happened. I tried to move my hands, but they were tied behind me. I attempted to straighten my legs so I could stand up, but they were bound at the ankles. The urge to scream consumed me, but it was muffled against the duct tape secured across my lips.

I didn’t know where I was, but it was dark and dingy, with a faint scent of salt water. Chills shot up my spine from the cold, hard ground. I pushed myself up, and my back smacked into a gate.

“Oh, look who finally decided to wake up,” Velasquez sneered.

A million awful thoughts ran through my mind, and I tried to scream at him, and tell him what kind of horrible piece of shit human being he was, but nothing got past the duct tape.

Velasquez laughed and then towered over me. His shadow was dark and soulless like him. He bent down until he was eye level with me.“If I take this off you, do you promise not to scream?”

I wanted to spit at him. Find a way to grab his gun, and splatter his fucking brains across the floor. But I was useless with no way to fight. Getting the tape off my mouth was one hurdle, so I nodded.

He tore the tape in one fast motion, ripping my skin, and sending sharp shooting pains through my lips and cheeks. A scream tore from my throat.

Velasquez shook his finger back and forth. “Now now. You made a promise.”

I glanced up, and looked deep into the blackness of his gaze, searching for the human being he once was. He had to be in there somewhere. Had to know that what he was doing was wrong. Maybe if I could reach that part of him, I could make him see the wrong in all of this.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked, refusing to blink or to look away from him.

“You cost me my job, my livelihood, my entire fucking life. No one will hire me now. Without a job, I can’t pay child support. And if I don’t pay, I can’t see my son.”

“So, you go against everything your job stands for, kill an innocent old man, kidnap me, and tie me up?”

“I search for justice, and that’s exactly what I’m doing.”

“Justice? Since when does two wrongs make a right?” I didn’t know if I was getting anywhere, but I had to keep talking. “So, justice is you becoming the type of person you despise: a heartless monster with no regard for the law. I thought you were better than this.”

A sinister look spread across his face. “Am I?”  He stood up and laughed. “Watching that bullet tore through that old bastard was the best feeling in the world. For years, I’ve been trying to take the Fallen Idols down, and they always managed to get out of it. Justice was finally served. You can’t get out of death now can you?”

I knew then there was no reasoning with him. He’d lost it. There was no hint of the half-decent person he once was.“You’re a sick fuck.”

He bent, getting right in my face. “And you’re a foul mouthed bitch who talks too much.”

“Better than being a cold blooded killer.”

“Okay, enough.” He grabbed the tape, and came at me. I twisted and turned my head, fighting him as best I could with no hands or legs to help. Pain shot through my head, as he grabbed my hair and yanked it back. With his other hand, he smacked the tape back across my lips, and then shoved my head away from him. “Now, that’s better.”

I fought the urge to gag, breathing in and out of my nose deeply as I tried to squelch the panic bubbling up. My voice was my only weapon, and now it was rendered useless. What the fuck was I going to do? He was either going to kill me, torture me, or leave me here to die.

Maybe Ryder would find me. A deep sickening ache twisted my stomach. What if Ryder didn’t care enough to try?  

NINE

RYDER

We parked our bikes at the warehouse, and jumped in the van. The last thing we wanted was for Velasquez to hear the rumble of our engines as we surrounded the joint. I grabbed hold of the wheel, and whipped out of the parking lot.

I focused on the road in front of me, pushing away every worst case scenario from my mind. The minute I let them in was the minute I’d lose my fucking mind. I couldn’t do that. Not until I knew Sawyer and our baby were safe.

I eased off the gas as we drew close to the old abandoned warehouse, and pulled off into the brush on the side of the road. I crept around back, and opened the rear doors. Trista and Blaze jumped out first, followed by Axel and Ace. Rev was last, his Glock held high and raring to go. Rogue and Bones stayed back at the Raven’s Nest to take care of Pops. Something else I wasn’t ready to deal with. The man was like a father to me, and now… I let the anger control me, and got ready to make our move.

Trista pointed to the three entrances. I tapped my chest, and then nodded to the back entrance. I hoped it was the best one to sneak up on the son of a bitch and knock him out fucking cold. I’d promised Axel the kill, and I’d give to him, but I wanted to be the one to get to Sawyer first.

We all nodded in agreement, and took off in different directions. Sweat pooled on my forehead, and, for the first time ever in my life, I was scared. Losing Sawyer to New York nearly broke me, but knowing she was still out there helped. If I got in this building, and Velasquez already finished her… that wasn’t something I’d be able to recover from.

She left Brooks Landing to escape the club and the lifestyle, and now she was smack dead in the worse possible scenario. Knowing she was carrying my baby, words couldn’t describe the fear I felt deep in my chest. I hated her for leaving. Hated her even more when I found out she was pregnant and took my son from me. But I got it now. This wasn’t the life for a child. She sacrificed our happiness to protect our son and... she made the right choice.

I pressed my back against the building and eyed the door. I sent up a silent prayer, and slid into the darkness. I gave my eyes a minute to adjust and then followed the wall.

“If you just would’ve taken my deal, none of this would’ve happened. Don’t you see? It’s. All. Your. Fault,” Velasquez’s words echoed throughout the building, and my teeth clenched at them.

I moved closer, coming up from behind. I glanced around and spotted Trista and Blaze off to the side, covering me. Axel and Bones slipped in through the front, and disappeared behind some barrels.

I could see Velasquez now. He was screaming down at the floor, spit flying from his mouth. I closed in on him, and my stomach twisted into knots when I saw Sawyer, gagged and bound, tears streaming down her beautiful face. Agony pulled tight across her delicate features. Fuck! I was going to kill him. My jaw ticked, and I lifted my gun to take the shot. I had a clear path to his fucking head, but, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Axel. The desire for revenge ingrained in his every fiber. I lowered my gun and waited until Velasquez turned away.

It felt like hours as I waited for my in, watching Sawyer fall apart before my very eyes. I needed to get to her. Take the pain away and hold her in my arms. Apologize and assure her everything would be all right.  

Velasquez spit at Sawyer, and rage devoured me, taking over my body. I stepped out from the shadows and made my move. He spun at my footsteps, aiming his gun right at my head. Shit. I acted on impulse, and didn’t wait for my in.

“So we meet again,” I growled, pointing my gun right back at him. If I had to guess, I’d be able to shoot him before he even had a chance to disengage his gun. I wanted so badly to look at Sawyer, so she could see in my eyes that I wasn’t leaving without her, but I couldn’t take my eyes off Velasquez. Not yet. Not until I knew we were both safe. “Little dramatic over losing your job. Don’t you think?”

Velasquez seethed with built up hostility, and I loved seeing the fire in his eyes. “I’m only just beginning,” he scoffed.

“Why don’t I make it easier for you? I’m the one you really want. The one who sent the evidence to your boss. The one who got you fired. So, take me and do whatever you want, but let her go.”

Velasquez laughed maniacally, and Sawyer cried, but her objections were muffled beneath the tape.

“You think I’m stupid? You could care less what happens to you, but I know damn well, seeing this pretty little thing.” He got down on his knees, and grabbed Sawyer’s hair, yanking it back, and pressing the barrel of his gun to her head.

My body shook, a storm so powerful I couldn’t control it. “Don’t you fucking touch her!”

He laughed again, tightening his grip on Sawyer’s hair. “She’s the only thing you care about. Eye for an eye. You took what I love, and now I take what you love,” he grounded out.

Tears streamed down Sawyer’s cheeks, and I wished I’d taken the fucking shot when I had it. My jaw clenched, and my finger pushed against the trigger. One shot, and the fucker would be dead, but what if, as I shot, he shot, too. It was a risk I wasn’t willing to take.

Sawyer’s gaze caught mine, and it nearly ripped my hearts to shreds. I didn’t want to speak. I refused to let Velasquez hear anything I had to say to the woman I loved. So, instead, I prayed that my message got across, through my eyes, as I held her gaze.

The clash of metal hitting concrete came from the left, and echoed through the building. Velasquez turned for the slightest of seconds, and I took advantage of the distraction. I dove at him, hand out, grabbing his gun as we went down hard.

I slammed his wrist into the ground, trying to break his hold on the gun. He lifted his knee, and nailed me right in the nuts. Cheap shot, you fucking bastard. Luckily for me, the rage outweighed the pain, and with one final smash to the ground, the gun fell loose.

Velasquez managed to free his other hand, and cold cocked me hard in the jaw. Heat radiated from the spot, and spread through my cheek. He rolled us over, and get on top of me. Sawyer’s cries filled the room, and I focused on getting the slimebag off of me so I could get to her.

Shadows flew past me, and I knew it was everyone else.  Sawyer was safe now. I managed to grab both of Velasquez’s wrists, but he fought back, pushing and pulling, trying to break free. His forehead came down forward, and I shoved him off of me.

Axel ran over, grabbing Velasquez by the collar, and dragging him off to do whatever he felt fit.

“Where’s Sawyer?” I screamed, searching the darkness for her.

“Right here,” she sniffed out.

I turned and ran to her. I cupped her cheeks, and looked straight into her eyes. “Are you okay?” I asked, searching her face for any sure signs of pain.

“I am now,” she cried, and fell into my arms.

Relief flooded me, and I held her tight, swearing to all that was holy that I’d never let her go again.

TEN

SAWYER

Ryder cradled me in his arms as we drove back to the warehouse. He ran his hand up and down my arm, shivers trailing every inch he traced.  I relished in his touch. I was so scared I’d never feel it again, and now I never wanted to be without it. The van was quiet, because even though there was the victory of rescuing me and getting Velasquez, Pops was still gone. A casualty that was far too hard for anyone to accept, let alone discuss out loud.

Back at the Raven’s Nest, the silence continued as we exited the van. I found comfort in the quiet, knowing we all were mourning the same person. No matter what we thought about each other, we all shared a common bond. Pops was loved by each and every one of us.

Bones brought me to the back, and examined me, even though I insisted I was okay. Neither he nor Ryder cared what I had to say. They weren’t going to be satisfied until they knew for sure.

“Is she good?” Ryder asked, holding my hand. He hadn’t let me go since we’d been reunited. There was so much to say, but we both pushed those conversations off until later.

Bones smiled. “She’s good.”

“Thank God!” Ryder exclaimed, and pressed his lips to my forehead, before taking Bones to the side.  They spoke for a few more moments, and it seemed Ryder was asking more questions, before returning to me. “Let’s get out of here.” He scooped me up.

“I can walk, you know,” I stated dryly.

“I know, but I’m selfish and want you in my arms.”

A smile spread across my face, and I rested my head on his shoulder, giving him this simple act.

We mounted his bike, and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tight and pressing my cheek to the leather of his cut.

He pulled into his driveway, and I followed him into the house. No questions. After tonight, I realized how precious life was. How the little moments equaled the big moments in the long run. My talk with Pops was something I’ll never forget. And it was time I did as he asked. Ryder needed to know. He deserved to know.

We walked into his living room, and I stopped him before we got any farther. “There’s something I have to tell you,” I said looking deep into his hazel eyes.

“You’re pregnant. I know.”

My mouth practically hit the floor. “You know! How?”

“Bones told me when we found out you were taken. He thought I should know. I guess he figured I’d be a little less reactive if I knew I wasn’t only protecting you.”

“I went to Raven’s Nest to tell you.” Tears pricked my eyes, and he cupped my cheek. “I didn’t want to repeat the past. I took that decision away from you so long ago, and now I have the chance to make it right. Whatever you want to do, we’ll do it.”

“What do you want to do?”

I wanted to keep it. Have the life I always dreamed of, but never thought I could have. Now I knew I could. This life was dangerous, but it was also made up of loyalty that you could only find in family. A love and devotion so deep, nothing could break it. Any child would be lucky to know love that great. But it wasn’t my choice. Not this time. I shook my head.  “No. I chose last time without consulting you. This time, it’s whatever you want.”

Ryder cupped my other cheek, urging me to look into the gorgeous hazel eyes of his. “I want whatever you want. If you want to keep the baby, we keep the baby, and be the best parents we can be. But, if you want to give it up again…I understand. I was so mad at you that I couldn’t see your reasoning. I get it now.”

“No! I get it. I fucked up. This life maybe dangerous and unconventional, but the love and support of the club and our family overshadows all of that. I want this baby. I want us to do it right this time.”

My words were cut off by his mouth crushing into mine. His hands tightened on my cheeks, and his tongue swiped at my crease. I parted my lips, letting him in and relishing in the familiar, delicious assault. He backed me up against the wall and wrapped his strong hands around my thighs, hoisting me up. I locked my legs around him as he ripped my shirt over my head.

I slid my fingers under his cut, and pushed it off his arms, dragging my hands down the hard muscles. He trailed his tongue down my neck, kissing and sucking as he made his way to the crook. I bent my head back, giving her easier access to the sensitive spot.  

Even after everything that happened tonight: the heartache, the loss, the fear and panic. Ryder was able to wash it all away with a simple touch of his lips. We had all the time in the world to mourn, but right now I just wanted to enjoy the fact that I was alive and in the arms of the man I loved.

I grabbed his face and covered his mouth with my own, pouring every single feeling that was coursing through me into the kiss. He pushed into me, pressing my back to the wall, holding me up with his weight. He took his hands away from my thighs, and knotted his fingers in my hair, giving me back everything that I was giving him.

Chills racked my body, and I ran my fingers up his chest. A groan rumbled deep in his throat as his fingers dug into my ass. He pulled me away from the wall, and carried me to his bedroom, placing me gently on the bed, and standing back. His hazel eyes roamed my body as he tore his shirt off over his head.

He licked his lips as he undid his belt and tossed it to the side. His eyes became possessive and ravenous as he stalked toward me. He pushed his knee in between my legs, giving me no choice but to spread wide for him.  

His tongue dabbed out, touching my stomach, and swirled and twirled its way up and then back down to the top of my jeans. “Off,” he growled and flipped the button open. I lifted my ass as he undid the zipper and pressed kisses to my skin. He pulled the restricting material from my body, inch by torturous inch.

Once off, he threw them to the floor, and climbed on top of me, crushing his mouth to mine. We had kissed so many times before but it was different this time. It was desperate and thankful. Carnal yet tender.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, but I kissed away his apology. He had nothing to be sorry for. We both were in the wrong, and I didn’t want to torment ourselves with the past. I wanted to live in the now, and kiss the past goodbye.

He pulled his mouth from mine, trailing a fiery path down my neck. His hands reached behind me, and he unhooked my bra. One by one, he removed the cups, until both breasts were bare and ready for him to take. He didn’t disappoint, pinching my nipple between his finger and thumb as he sucked the other into his mouth.

I arched as pleasure overwhelmed me and shot through my body. His hand moved down my side, squeezing my waist, as he sucked and licked the taut bead. A moan slipped from my lips just as his hand slid under my thong.

His finger circled my clit, and I cried out. “I want to make you feel good,” he muttered.

“Oh baby you are.” He picked up speed and just as I felt like I was about to explode, he plunged two fingers into my wetness.  

I whimpered at the mouth-watering intrusion, and flung my head back to enjoy the ride he was taking me on. He bent down, pulling my white lace thong aside, and swiped his tongue over my clit. The intensity was almost too much to take, but I welcomed it, only craving more with each slide.

His tongue swiped lovingly at my folds as his fingers worked in and out. I tightened my legs around his head, and pushed my sex against his mouth. He devoured me, sending me spiraling over the edge.

I screamed out, grabbing his hair, and holding on for dear life as I enjoyed the sweet ride he took me on. He slowed, lapping up my juices as aftershocks of my orgasm wracked my body.

He kissed his way up my stomach, and when he looked into my eyes, I brushed the hair off his face. “Make love to me,” I requested. “I need you. Inside me. Now.”

A devilish grin flashed across his face. “Baby, that’s the only place I want to be.” He rolled off of me, pulling off his pants, while I stripped off my thong. He stroked his rock hard cock, and I bit my lip at the glorious sight. I got up on all fours, and crawled to the edge of the bed, taking him in my mouth. I swirled my tongue around the tip, loving the taste of him.

He groaned as I opened wide and took him deep in my throat. His balls rested against my chin and I cupped them, massaging my fingers into the sensitive flesh. I trailed my tongue up and down, taking him in deeper and deeper.

His hands in my hair tightened, and then stopped me from moving. “Turn around,” he demanded.

I did as he asked, getting on all fours and positioning my ass just right. Without any warning he shoved into me. We both cried out as he thrust in and out, covering my tits with his hands, and kneading the soft mounds.

He pulled my face up and kissed my neck as he delivered blow after blow. The ultimate high was building, sending me into a state of delirium. He reached around, rubbing my clit, and my head fell back against his shoulder.

“Mmm,” I moaned, as he pulled out and turned me over, climbing on top of me and plunging deep into my pussy. “Oh, God.”

He wrapped his hand around my head and held it up. His hazel eyes penetrated me, looking deep into my soul, deeper than any other person has ever gone.

We stayed like that as he pumped in and out of me, over and over again, each of us panting until the pressure built to a breaking point, and he came inside me. His body jerked at the release, and I kissed his cheek and shoulders as he continued to pour his hot seed inside me.

Slowly, he pulled back, and I traced his hairline with my fingertips.

“I love you, and I’m never letting you go. Not again. We’re going to be a family,” he said, pressing a hand to my stomach. “All of us.”

“That’s all I ever wanted,” I admitted for the first time ever.

ELEVEN

RYDER

I can take a beating, be threatened with a gun, and kill a person without a second thought, but saying goodbye to someone I loved… I couldn’t do it. Pops was like a father to me, and once I said goodbye, I was accepting that he was gone. I wasn’t ready for that.

I didn’t cry; it just wasn’t my thing. I drank myself into stupors and I pushed my feelings aside. But Pops wouldn’t want that. He hated watching me spiral down the rabbit hole, and I wouldn’t let his death cause me to do the one thing the only thing that ever disappointed him about me.

No. I would be strong. I would be strong for him. For Axel. For Sawyer. I would be strong. I straightened my tie, tugged on my cut, and walked up to the casket for my final goodbye.

He looked good. Not too much shit caked on his face. I kneeled down in front of the blue metal, and silently thanked him for all the years of being there for me. Tears poured from my eyes, and I didn’t bother wiping them away. Nobody would call me a pussy today. We were all crying.

“I’m so sorry, Pops. I wish I could’ve been there. Taken that bullet for you.”

A hand rested on my shoulder, and I looked up into Sawyer’s beautiful eyes. I linked my fingers with her and tried to take comfort in her touch. I took a deep breath and stood.

“Ryder, you need to know something,” she said, as she glanced over to Pops and smiled.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Pops knew. He figured it out.” She rested a hand on her stomach. “When Velasquez fired that shot, he was firing at me. Pops pushed me out of the way, and took the bullet for the baby.” Tears stained her cheeks as she told me. The room grew silent, and I knew everyone had heard her.

Shock and admiration built up inside me for the man who always managed to be there for me, even when I couldn’t be there for myself filled me. Axel and Paige walked over to us, and Sawyer threw her arms around him. “I am so sorry, Axel. It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me.”

Axel hugged her to him and then pulled away. “No. This was how it was supposed to be. Pops died a hero. I can find comfort in that.”

“If it’s okay with you,” Sawyer smiled at Axel. “I’d like to name the baby after him. Boy or girl they will carry his name somehow.”

“It would be an honor,” Axel choked out. He kissed Sawyer on the cheek, and then turned to Paige who wrapped her arms around him and held him tight.

It was as if Pops had planned it. He had always been there for us, and now Axel and I each had someone who could fill the void.

I rested a hand on the casket and said goodbye, joining the rest of my family. We all stood together, our heads held high, silently saying our final goodbye as they closed the casket, placing Pops’s cut securely on top.

In the movies it always rained during a funeral scene. Today, as always in California, the skies were crystal blue and the sun was shining high above us. It was what Pops would want. He wouldn’t want the darkness to consume us. He’d want us to look to the light and move on with our lives.

So instead of mourning his death, we headed back to Raven’s Nest and we celebrated it.  

Seven Months Later

SAWYER

Sweat trickled from my temple as I groaned. “I can’t. I can’t.”

Ryder kissed my knuckles. “You can. You’re doing so great, baby. She’s almost here. Just a little more.”

I panted, not believing his words, but knew I needed to. Taking one final deep breath, I pushed with everything I had, my scream filling the room.

“That’s it. You’re doing it. Oh my god, you’re amazing. You’re doing it!” Ryder was practically jumping up and down next to me.

I collapsed back into the bed, utterly spent, as a tiny cry echoed off the walls. My eyes widened, realizing that she was finally here. I lifted my head to see her, just as the doctor placed her up on my belly. My arms wrapped around her tiny body as tears flooded my eyes. She was beautiful. Perfect.

Ryder kissed my forehead, bending down to touch her tiny hand. “I have a daughter. Holy shit. I have a daughter.”

I laughed, wrapping the tiny blanket around her to keep her warm. “Yes, we do.”

The next hour was a whirl, with doctors and nurses checking us both over from head to toe. Finally, Ryder and I got a moment alone as a family. I shook my head, the words still sounding foreign in my head.

“You were amazing in there, babe. I’m so proud of you.”

I tilted my head up, and he bent, capturing my lips.

We didn’t get to savor the moment, because there was a pounding at the door. “Is she here? We want to see her!”

Ryder chuckled, straightening to go open the door for what I’m sure was the entire club. Axel and Paige hurried inside, followed closely by Mom, Cruz and Evie. My Dad was noticeably missing from the lineup, but he would meet his granddaughter soon enough. “Everyone else is here too, but Bones wouldn’t let us all bombard you at once. However, Trista made us swear not to take too long or she was coming in here to physically remove us so she could get her turn with her new baby cousin.”

Mom was the first to hold her, pushing past everyone, and cooing to her in Spanish as everyone else asked me how I was doing. Mom finally handed her back to me, giving her a kiss on the forehead. I waved Paige over, and she squealed as she took in the tiny baby wrapped safely in my arms. “Oh my! I think she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Axel, babe, you’ve gotta come take a look at her.”

Axel, who had been hugging Ryder, made his way over to me. “Can I?” he asked. “I promise I just washed my hands. Twice. Paige made me.”

Paige rolled her eyes.

I nodded, “Of course.” I placed her very gently in Axel’s arms, careful that he supported her head. “Axel, I’d like to introduce you to Paula Maria Monroe, the newest family member of the Fallen Idol’s MC.”

The door slammed open, and Trista and Blaze came barging in. “You all are too damn slow,” Trista declared and held up a bottle of champagne. “Besides, I brought booze.”

Bones came in behind her, and shook his head as Blaze handed him a cup. “What the hell.”

Trista poured the champagne, and Blaze passed them out. Once they were all filled and distributed, Ryder held up his glass. “To the newest member of the family.” He looked over to me as Axel rested Paula in my arms. “Sawyer and Paula, the two most beautiful girls I have ever laid my eyes on. I love you, both.” He smiled that gorgeous smile of his.

It took us forever, but I finally felt like we got it right.

“And to Pops,” I said. “Because, if it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t be here today. Besides, we all know damn well he’s here with us.” I held up my cup, tears building up on my lids, the pain still too close to the surface. “So, Pops, thank you for my baby girl’s life.”  

Bones smiled while Mom pulled Cruz and Evie in close. Blaze wrapped his arm around Trista’s shoulder and held her tight against him. Paige rested her head on Axel’s chest, and I slid my hand into Ryder’s. I took the moment in, savoring this perfect memory and remembering the man who made it possible.

After a moment, we all held our glasses high.

“To Pops,” we cheered.

###

This was the final story of the Fallen Idols MC.

I hope you enjoyed the series, I mean really if you got this far, you must have liked it.

And you, yep the one still reading, I’m really thankful for you reader, because you stuck with the Fallen Idols through it all.

But don’t worry, I have more books coming… and SOON.

Kisses- Savvy

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