Splinter

Significant Brothers #1

E. Davies

Splinter

by E. Davies

* * *

© 2017 E. Davies

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any forms or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied within critical reviews and articles.

Cover design by Resplendent Media.

Amazon Kindle Edition.

* * *

For new release alerts, sales, paperback giveaways, ARC opportunities, and exclusive content, join my email newsletter.

It’s one click to join or leave, and I don’t email often. :)

http://www.edaviesbooks.com/subscribe

Contents

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Epilogue

Thanks for reading!

About the Author

Prologue

Deen

“Harder, Deen! Oh, fuck!”

They were face-to-face. Fans usually preferred it that way, so they could stare him in the eye.

He was Deen Jayse, rising rock star and the instant center of attention in every room he entered.

The guy he was balls-deep in, squirming and gasping his name like the fans in the front row did between sets, was… Grey? He thought it might be. It was something weird like that. Grey had batted his eyes at the VIP afterparty, and who was Deen to say no to a pretty face like that?

Grey looked especially pretty with his legs wrapped around Deen’s waist, his back against the rough stones of the alley wall.

Grey had invited him outside for a smoke, and though he didn’t smoke, he’d said yes. As he’d expected, he’d wound up with Grey’s sinfully pretty lips wrapped around his cock instead.

And now he was fucking Grey into the wall, enjoying every wide-eyed gasp of pleasure that fell from his blowjob-swollen lips.

The guy was scrawny. It was ridiculously easy for even Deen to pin him against the wall for a better angle. And when he did, he felt strong. In control. Needed.

Deen didn’t stop as Grey fumbled with his shirt pocket, pressing open-mouthed kisses against his neck. He didn’t kiss on the lips, but he’d drag his stubbly jaw along theirs, or suck skin until their knees buckled.

Men, women, or nonbinary—Deen didn’t care about boxes. Little could surprise him by now, but Grey managed it by flashing the vial of white powder in his hand.

“What’s that?”

He knew damn well what it was, but he played dumb. Last thing he needed was to get busted by some undercover cop. Usually they flashed the goods before he was balls-deep in them.

“A little extra-special something from one of my buddies.” Grey was breathless, one arm looped around Deen’s neck as he fumbled to open the bottle. His hand jerked, spilling some white powder on Deen’s shoulder.

Deen’s eyes widened as Grey pulled the strap of his tank top off his shoulder. Grey tapped the vial lip against his collarbone to form a bump on the thin ridge of bone. “What the fuck?”

“Perks of being skinny. You can do body lines off me. Anytime you want, Deen.”

Deen slid out of Grey and set him on the ground. He was throbbing and so fucking close it ached, but something about all this smelled wrong. He yanked the condom off and tossed it in the bin next to them. He could keep his distance as he jerked himself off—maybe both of them, if he wanted to get close enough to Grey.

Keeping his arm down so as not to spill the powder stuck to his sweat-slick skin, Grey laced his fingers of the other hand in the back of Deen’s head. He tried to pull him in for a kiss. “I thought you’d like it. It’s good stuff. It’s great. Makes you feel so much.”

Movement at the end of the alley, and camera flashes.

“Police. Keep your hands where we can see them.”

Behind them, the paparazzi. And, like he’d been waiting for this second, Grey leaped on top of the dumpster. He scrambled into a second-story window like a goddamn ninja.

Leaving Deen alone, his rapidly softening dick hanging out of his jeans, his hands over his head. He couldn’t see in the sudden, blinding glare of cop car headlights. Was this what rock bottom felt like?

Shit. I’ve done it now.

1

Nico

The stars stretched out overhead from horizon to horizon—well, treetop to mountaintop. In the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, the eponymous mountains were never more than a thicket away from sight.

“Anyway, next time, you help chase down the little assholes. I didn’t even get a glimpse of them. But it’s gotta be dumbass teens. The picnic bench was still burning when I got there. They can’t be that far away, but… they were gone.”

Nico tore his gaze from the sky and clapped his friend and fellow ranger’s arm. For all his complaining, Jeff enjoyed the thrill of the chase. They hadn’t succeeded in finding the pyromaniacs who had been plaguing the park for the last few months. Give Jeff time—lots of time—and a Jeep and he’d do it. Eventually.

“Sure,” Nico teased. “Like you’d give up the chance to use a bullhorn. Come out with your hands up. Like a fucking park cop,” he elbowed Jeff. Neither of them were—as ordinary park rangers, it wasn’t their job to arrest the twerps.

Jeff flashed him the middle finger. “It might fool them one day.”

Nico snorted with laughter. “Keep telling yourself that.”

They were all a little tipsy after the evening’s get-together. Swapping stories and talking to the boss about their current duties every week or two was about all the social interaction Nico needed.

It was a pretty sweet gig for someone who loved nature and didn’t particularly like people. Most of Nico’s time was spent by himself working on conservation. A fortunately low percentage of the time, he supervised park guests. His home turf didn’t include the most popular trails—so Jeff wound up chasing down the idiot teens and he got to stretch out on a hammock and stargaze.

Not that he didn’t have his work cut out for him some days. Rangers’ responsibilities included trail maintenance and upkeep of their own stations. But compared to the exercise regimen at his old job, this was nothing.

“Are you waiting for Bob?”

Before Jeff answered, Bob stumbled out to join them, looking beat. He barely drank, but he’d been up early investigating the most recent blaze, which had been in his territory. They’d had to prod and poke him into coming along.

Not that anyone particularly wanted him around. There was nothing awful about him, but he was one of those guys who dragged down the mood of every party.

“Ready to head back?” Jeff asked. His station was along the way to Bob’s, so they’d shared an ATV partway here. Bob did come in handy as a designated driver.

Nico, meanwhile, had walked. He hadn’t wanted to limit his alcohol intake down here. It was an infrequent occasion that he didn’t have to lug full cans up a mountain and empties back down.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Bob nodded briskly at Nico. “You gonna get back tonight?”

“I won’t nap in the underbrush and scare passing hikers at dawn,” Nico promised and grinned.

As he waved Jeff off and headed up the trail toward his cabin for the long solo walk, his gaze drifted back up to the stars.

It was strange to think that he’d once been so much closer to those stars, looking down on the Earth from quadruple-glazed windows.

That was a long time ago. He was a different man now, Nico reminded himself as he returned his gaze to the trees. His hand tightened on his flashlight as he strode a little more briskly.

Since the accident, he’d been an earth-bound misfit.

Now he made a difference through conservation, education, and quiet stewardship over the land. He’d gone from documenting the changes to doing something about it, and that helped. As a bonus, his job took him far away from the city, from its drama and pointless turmoil, and the millions of people who took for granted their tiny circles of what life could be. They never dared blast through the outer edges to something…

Something completely different.

As he crunched up the gravel trail, Nico recognized every turn in the path, every glint of his flashlight against an interpretive sign, every chirp and whistle of crickets and bullfrogs. This was his habitat now.

Solo. There hadn’t been a Mr. Right, or even a potential Mr. Right, since he’d entered astronaut training. Boot camp was too brutal to consider spending time dating in the evenings. Then, who’d want to date someone who was literally not living on the same planet?

And afterward, he hadn’t handled fame well. Not in the blow-and-hookers way, but after all the press conferences, he’d gone into hiding. Pretty much until he’d gotten this job, if he were honest with himself. No chance of finding Mr. Right that way.

It was peaceful this way. He had declining visitor numbers and ecosystem degradation to worry about, but that was about it.

Still, as Nico paused at the door of his cabin and took one last look up at his most familiar friends, he let a long sigh slip free. Now and then, he was lonely.

Living at a pretty remote ranger station, he could have company at any moment. Park guests came at all hours for help or guidance, but rarely. And it was never the kind of company he craved deep inside.

Nico shut the door and checked his radio battery, then pulled on his pajamas for a deep, but unrestful, sleep.

2

Deen

“You’re lucky to be here at all, Deen.”

Well, Bryan was pissed at him. And by good rights, since his manager had already put out several fires this year. This was the latest in a string of barely-covered indiscretions.

Bryan was sweating, smacking a hand on the Post-It note pad on his desk as he paced behind it as if in the middle of a game of Whack-a-Mole. He kept eyeing Deen, like he was waiting to see if he popped up.

Just in case, Deen stayed firmly seated. “Yeah. I am.”

The cops had let him off with a warning. It could have been a misdemeanor, but it wasn’t even that. All down to his quick thinking, Bryan’s swift intervention, and one of the cops’ daughters being a big fan. He still didn’t know how Bryan had fended off the paparazzi, and he didn’t want to know.

“Going out back to piss on a dumpster—how the hell did they buy that story? You know there’s a weak point, too. The guys at the venue are willing to cover for you and say the dressing room toilet was backed up, but…”

“Grey,” Deen mumbled. It tasted much less sweet on his lips now. He still had no idea if that had really been coke, or if it was all a setup. He hadn’t exactly snorted any of it to find out.

He felt stupid for letting Grey get to his lower brain before his upper, but how could he have expected all this? He’d never been set up like this before. He sure as hell hadn’t interrogated Grey on his intentions beforehand.

“If he goes to the press with his exclusive on his vodka- and coke-fueled hookup with rising star Deen Jayse…”

“Maybe people will think it was Coke,” Deen offered. “A little twist on the rum-and—”

Bryan turned and glared at him again, smacking the offending Post-It note pad again. “Deen.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Deen raised his hands and bit back his smile. No need to push his buttons when he was already on damage control again. “I didn’t actually do the coke.”

“Sure.” Bryan looked like he didn’t care either way. “What I care is that everything else lines up with the other fires I’ve barely put out.”

Deen groaned. “Yeah, I drink too much and I fuck too much. I told you that on day one.”

“My point is, you need image rehab. You need something big to distract people—and unless you got an album ready to pull out of your ass…”

Deen was silent. He hadn’t written anything in a couple months. Every time he tried, he wound up tuning out, staring through his notepad into space.

There was no real reason for a creative slump. No breakups—impossible when he didn’t let himself get attached to anyone for longer than it took his dick to soften afterward—and definitely no depression. No money problems. Hell, his career was soaring.

If anything, maybe he was touring too much. Every couple nights, a new town. But that felt like an excuse, and he knew it.

“I thought not,” Bryan continued. “So, you’re going to give your time for free to some worthy cause.”

“Volunteering?” Deen groaned.

Bryan misinterpreted the comment. “Seriously? You’re loaded enough already to do some free work.”

Deen did half-rise to grab his attention. “No. Dude. I mean: isn’t that overdone?” He sank back into his chair and huffed. “Besides, it admits guilt. Every time someone fucks up, they’re suddenly delivering toys to a children’s hospital.”

“Children’s—yeah, I don’t think they’d let you through the doors, Deen.”

“Service doors? By the dumpsters?”

Bryan glared again, and this time, Deen cracked up. It took a second, but then his manager smiled and reached around the desk to shove his chair. “Too soon, asshole.”

“I am.” Deen scooted his chair toward the desk again. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well, what are all the rich kids doing on Instagram? To look good?”

“I don’t think I need more partying pictures on there,” Deen pointed out with a laugh. “I don’t know. Traveling? Oh, volunteering in third-world countries.” He made a face. “Not sure I’m willing to sell that much of my soul. They need money more than some dumbass rock star swanning in.”

“Don’t sell yourself short.”

“I’m not a doctor or a construction foreman.” Deen appreciated Bryan’s words, but he wasn’t even being self-deprecating. “I don’t know. Travel vlogs?”

“Like those little travelogue videos?” Bryan sank into his chair and steepled his fingers.

“I don’t have to leave the country for that,” Deen added. “But it does mean… you know… nature.”

The last time he’d been to a park was to record the video for his latest single. He couldn’t remember the time before that. Life was all work and party—which was work, too—for him right now.

“You could use the detox,” Bryan told him. “You’re looking a little like an alcoholic lately.”

“Hey. I need a couple beers to handle you riding my ass. And some stretching. Three fingers.”

“Compliment accepted.” Bryan had never actually fucked him, but unlike ninety percent of heterosexual men, he didn’t mind bantering. “So, you’re going to cleanse your soul and visit a national park, and… hey…”

Deen didn’t like the look in his eye. “And what?”

“Live there.”

“What?”

“Not forever. Just for a few weeks, or a month or two. Do a travel vlog, or whatever you called it. Did you know seventy percent of Americans wish they could take enough time off work for an extended stay at a national park?”

Deen shook his head, then narrowed his eyes. He knew Bryan well. “How bullshit is that statistic?”

“It’s probably true.”

“What about the other guys?” Deen wasn’t close to his bandmates—they barely hung out outside of work, in fact. They’d been put together by the label as supporting artists to his main act, and everyone knew it. But they were good guys, talented and hard-working, and they had great stage presence together.

“They’ll be happy to get some time off,” Bryan said, and Deen couldn’t argue there. “Get some peace and quiet to write more songs. Get those college kids interested in going outside, not rubbing one out to your videos all summer long. Make the teens want to go camping with their parents after all. That’ll win over hearts and wallets.”

Deen snorted with laughter. His image was undisputedly a sex idol, and it was a chicken or egg problem. Was it because he got so much action from the twenty-somethings whose wandering eyes were easy to spot in the front row? Or did their eyes wander because of his image? Who knew or cared?

It was weird to try to reconcile that with the image of him being some Bear Grylls dude. But then, maybe not. He’d show the raw, rugged side of himself. “I’m not gonna spear fish and rub wood together to start fires and crap.”

“Good. No wood-rubbing,” Bryan warned, wagging his pen at Deen. “Or minimal. Definitely no cruising the campgrounds.”

Deen groaned. There was no way he could forego sex entirely, but this did mean a dramatic downgrade in his options. He picked people up from the intoxicating glow of afterparties, not in real life with… birds and trees and shit all around. “Oh, man.”

Still, Bryan was right. It was easy to let it all get to his head. Limos picking him up from every venue, camera flashes when he ate at restaurants before a show, magazines clamoring for a word with him. It was a strange alternate universe that nobody who wasn’t a music star could understand or put up with.

“Fine.”

“Good. Go grab lunch. I’ll see if I can find a park that will put up with you,” Bryan told him, waving a hand.

Deen flashed Bryan the middle finger and laughed again as he moved for the door.

Bryan was right that he was lucky not to be in a holding cell pending drugs testing, defending himself against a throng of reporters afterward. He could have lost the underage half of his fanbase to disapproving parents. And Deen could stand to be a slightly better role model. One less beer, one more good deed every day or something.

This was just a vacation from his tour, that was all. A brief interruption.

Definitely nothing long-term could come out of this.

3

Nico

I became a park ranger to avoid people, not schmooze with them.

Nico did his best not to glower or fold his arms like a sulky child, but there weren’t even hot dogs to soothe the sting of being forced to socialize with some big rock star and his manager and entourage.

Parties and social gatherings, aside from BBQs and beer with a very small group of fellow rangers, were at the bottom of Nico’s to-do list. Below chipping dead wood to restore the trail section that had washed away in the last storm. He wondered if he could escape and fire up the chipper without anyone hearing.

Jeff was talking up a storm with the cute new intern, so he was no use. Bob was busy being uptight in the corner, and for once, Nico was inclined to agree with his idea.

“And for social media clout, you can’t do better than this wallflower here.” Drew, his boss, was pointing at him.

Oh, God. They’d found him.

Nico fixed a smile on his face and eased away from the wall to shake hands with the suit-clad man who was working his way around the room at Drew’s side. He had no idea what a manager actually did, so he didn’t know how suspicious to be of him.

“I’m Bryan Desalt from Desalt Management.”

“Nico.” No need to give last names and start the gears turning in this guy’s head. Nico shot a sideways glance at his boss to tell him as much.

Drew hesitated, but he couldn’t pretend he hadn’t seen the look. “Nico’s an expert in the deep woods. If Deen wants to see more than the basics…”

“I like seeing more than the basics.”

Nico almost jumped. He was used to hearing the softest footfall in underbrush or gravel, not against the hard floor of the multifunction room. But when he turned to tell off the newcomer who had startled him, Nico found himself speechless for a moment.

Deen was… okay, he was fucking hot.

He was about Nico’s height, with dark hair and pouty lips. His cheekbones were razor-sharp. His plain black t-shirt clung to a slim build with more than enough biceps to go around. Nico’s heart, head, and cock all paid attention.

Oh, crap.

“The same old gets… vanilla after a while,” Deen continued, since Nico was trying to put syllables into words that made sense together.

Nico managed a laugh. “Yeah,” he agreed.

“Deen.” He held out one slender hand, and Nico tried not to crush it as he grabbed it immediately.

“Nico. A ranger here. If the… uniform isn’t obvious. Hah. Not very interesting, is it?”

The spark between them as their palms brushed each other’s fingers was impossible to ignore. Deen waited an extra few seconds to drop Nico’s hand as he took a half-step backward to look Nico up and down.

Oh, fuck. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Grindr wasn’t exactly full of guys camping out in the Smokies. And normally, Nico was fine with that.

Right now, though? His body had woken up from hibernation. Spring was in the air. Springing up, anyway. Unsexy thoughts. Pronto. It was hard to find any when Deen was taking this long to let his eyes meet Nico’s again.

“The uniform was a clue,” Deen finally told him, a mischievous smile playing around his lips. “It’s very interesting on you. I don’t think I could pull one off. I’d like to, though.”

Did he just…? Nico’s cheeks flushed. “Uh. Yeah. I’d like to see that. I mean. You know.”

To make matters worse, Deen winked. He turned to look at the other men, which reminded Nico that they were right there, get it together—but they weren’t.

They’d already wandered off, and Bryan was busy telling Drew something, waving his hands in circles.

“Well.” The honeyed rasp of Deen’s voice drew Nico’s attention back to him. “Now that the grownups have left, I think we’re supposed to be friends now.”

Nico snorted with amusement. “Because we’re the only local gays?”

“Aha. I chose right, then. But I’m bi. Don’t erase it, honey.” Deen winked again.

Nico wished that wink didn’t make his knees fucking melt. He had to strengthen his resolve not to let the guy just bang him against the red maple just over the hill from here. He had the sneaking suspicion Deen was that type.

Wait. You’re not supposed to like him. They got them every year, usually at Yellowstone or the Grand Canyon: celebrities who wanted to walk as little as possible, get nice photo ops, and leave.

But despite his determination not to like Deen, there was something irresistibly charming about him. “Good to know,” Nico said. “What brings you here?” Maybe a real conversation would make Deen stop looking at him like he was planning how to peel off his uniform.

“I’m told I need to find myself.” The phrasing was so interesting that Nico wasn’t sure what to choose to question first. He blinked, and Deen went on. “That is, some time in the wilderness would do me good. Or something.”

“Class project?” Nico didn’t mean that to sound sarcastic, but Deen’s eyes lit up.

So he enjoyed the back-and-forth. Nico got the sense he was a lot smarter than his immaculate appearance suggested. “No, I think Bryan wants you to do the teaching.”

“You sure about that?”

Deen’s pointed finger drew Nico’s gaze off those beautiful lips and over to their manager and boss.

Shit. They were beckoning them over.

When Nico and Deen walked up to them, Bryan clapped Deen’s shoulder. “It’s all set, then.”

“What is?” Nico shot Drew a suspicious look.

“Deen’s planning on a sort of… sponsored trip out here. Video blogging. Travel videos. That sort of thing,” Drew explained, in the way that made it as clear as ever that he didn’t understand what an Instagram was. He still complained that he couldn’t get Polaroid film anymore.

“Right…” Nico prompted. “And?”

“He’s going to need help to get around the park, to learn to read maps and compasses and basic survival skills. He won’t be camping, but staying in one of our cabins.”

“No tent pitching,” Bryan told Deen. “And more space for all your crap.”

“I’m sure there’s some tents to pitch here,” Deen grinned, his gaze flickering to Nico for a moment before he looked back at his manager. “I’ll explore a little deeper sooner or later. But that works for me.”

Is he trying to make me blush? It definitely worked, and Nico mentally cursed Deen as his cheeks heated up all over again.

Nico took Drew by the shoulder and led him off a few paces, lowering his voice. “And I’m supposed to babysit him?”

Drew looked apologetic, but he nodded. “I know you don’t usually do people, but Bryan wants Deen away from most of the visitors. Putting him in your territory just makes sense. And you know we need the exposure.”

It was true. Nico couldn’t come up with a word of argument—they’d all worried about declining footfall. This would be exactly the kind of national attention that could draw locals in. It was frustrating watching some people traipse thousands of miles to Yellowstone. The number of Knoxville residents who’d never even been to the Smokies was frightening.

But goddamn, Deen used more hairspray than Nico did bear spray. He was definitely a rookie. Nico had enough time to fulfill his other duties and teach Deen the park’s history and geography, but he still didn’t like it.

“Fine. Is he, like, going to be glued to his iPhone looking for the best selfie angles?”

Drew grinned. “It’s your job to make sure he isn’t.”

Fuck. He had him there. Nico rolled his eyes at his boss, his shoulders sinking. He owed Drew a lot for understanding his situation. Drew had never milked the fact that he had one of only a few dozen former astronauts on his payroll. He’d agreed to put him in the most remote placement possible, and had kept him here over the years.

“Okay.”

“Thanks.” Drew jerked his head toward the others.

They rejoined them in time to hear Bryan tell Deen, “And the company’s sending your sponsored cameras tomorrow.”

“Sponsored cameras?” Nico repeated, raising his eyebrow at Deen. That sounded so “white hippie kid traveling the world” it almost hurt.

Deen grinned back. “Yeah. Never miss a chance to make a connection.”

And there he was—in one sentence, hooked again. Goddamn.

“So, Nico… what did you say your name was?” Deen added, pulling out his phone. “I’ll have to tag you.”

“Nico Rogers, but if this is going on Facebook, I’d rather it not. Just Nico is fine for them. And I don’t have a Facebook account anyway.”

Or at least, he hadn’t since his shuttle had touched the ground again. Against the advice of everyone who’d wanted him to do speaking tours and science class appearances for a living, he’d gone off the radar.

“Roger,” Deen winked.

Nico rolled his eyes. “Never heard that before.”

“Sorry,” Deen laughed.

When he looked back at the others, Bryan was chuckling. “You’ll keep his ego in check. Good.”

Deen gasped and flipped Bryan his middle finger. “Selling me down the river.”

“Can we send him down a river?” Bryan looked at Nico. “Is there whitewater rafting?”

“Nope. No, not a fucking chance. Nope.”

Nico cracked a smile. “Scared of water?” he teased.

“Water doesn’t mix with this hair,” Deen gestured at his style.

“Gets pretty humid here. Get used to disappointment,” Nico told him.

Deen’s dramatic sigh made them all laugh.

Nico caught Deen’s eyes once more before making an excuse to mingle with his buddies and explain what had just happened. No doubt they’d all be happy to get out of babysitting duty, but… to him, it suddenly didn’t seem that bad.

He might be okay. Maybe.

4

Deen

Shit, the ranger Bryan had picked out for him was fucking hot. And if Bryan didn’t want him fucking his way around the park, why had he picked the gay one first?

Deen flirted with everyone by nature, but Nico had flirted back within seconds. That told Deen all he needed to know. When Nico had clumsily brought up that he was gay, well, it was practically an open invitation to his pants.

For the third time, Deen refocused on what he was packing and put his hair straightener aside. Just the basics, Nico had told him. He could manage with shampoo and conditioner, gel, wax, hairspray, and a hairdryer. Emergency hair clay, too.

Bryan had sent a box of sponsored clothes that were more suitable for the Tennessee mountains than his usual dark jeans. Problem was, they were outdoorsy shit. Clothing manufacturers couldn’t seem to make light fabrics that weren’t neon. Deen hated most of them. He’d packed them anyway, figuring he’d make them work somehow over the next few weeks.

At least he was within driving distance of his house in Knoxville. Where else would a musician live? Sure, the place was a little country, but it suited him after growing up in Texas. He barely felt like it was his own house these days, he’d been there so little.

The scandal had passed almost immediately. Plenty of his fans on social media had told him how stupid they thought the paparazzi were. They’d pledged their undying support—and their body parts for his pleasure, as usual.

But Nico’s ass in those pale khaki pants was the only one Deen could think about today. He threw skin care products into a zip bag and added that to the backpack.

A gym bag, a backpack, and a small rolling suitcase were all he was allowed, including the fucking cameras, laptop, and editing equipment. He was almost sure Bryan was just fucking with him as revenge for all the stunts he’d pulled this year.

Speaking of whom, his phone rang.

Deen blew out a sigh and answered. “Hey.”

“You packed? On your way yet?”

“Almost done packing. I hate everything that company sent.”

“I told them to send the most neutral colors they had, plus whatever fit your image.”

“Did they get someone colorblind to look at my Instagram? Cause they sent a neon green shirt.”

“You wear neon green shirts.”

“I do not!” Deen plucked the offending shirt out of the bag, made a face at it, and switched to the camera app to text him a photo. “See?”

There was a pause. “Oh, yeah. That is pretty bright.”

“No kidding. At least I won’t get lost. They’ll see me from fucking Mars. If they weren’t giving me this shit for free, I would not be wearing it,” Deen informed his manager.

“You’ve got a green shirt like that, only with skulls on it. Pretend it’s that one.”

“Yeah, I only wear that because it’s glow-in-the-dark and it’s magic.”

“Magic…?”

“Somehow, it doesn’t show cum stains.”

“Jesus, add that to the list of shit I didn’t need to know.” Bryan snorted with laughter. “Speaking of which, you remember why you’re going out there, right?”

“No sex, drugs, alcohol, or any sort of fun allowed.” Deen rolled his eyes and zipped up his gym bag. “I remember. I may even listen.”

“Nothing the paparazzi can milk,” Bryan corrected him. “And maybe find someone for more than a night or two. Sweet summer romance kind of thing.”

Bryan had wanted him to do that for years, even drop hints on his Instagram that he might be seeing someone. As far as Deen was concerned, the only reason to do that was to make himself seem even more unavailable and therefore more appealing. He did just fine with his current level of sex appeal. He was saving that trick for when his hair started to turn gray.

“Sure. I’ll find a nice trout.”

“Hands off the ranger, though.” It was like Bryan was reading his fucking mind. “Or at least don’t ghost him afterward. You need him to keep you getting eaten by bears.”

“I’ll be good.”

“I doubt that,” Bryan laughed. “Man, unwind and enjoy yourself, too. This vlogging thing is exactly your style. Make it a vacation. You’ve been touring nonstop for too long.”

A small sigh escaped, and Deen rolled his head back. Bryan was right. He was surprised Bryan had even convinced the label to let him take the time off. They hadn’t given him more than three days off in a row in months. Not that he was ungrateful for his career, but it wore him down. “Yeah. I will. Thanks, man.”

If he was gonna make it on time, he had to stop throwing last-minute additions into his bags and hit the road.

God only knew how he’d survive four weeks around Nico without fucking him through the mattress every night.

* * *

Deen was only twenty minutes late as he pulled into the parking lot.

It took him a few seconds to spot his welcoming committee perched on a bench nearby. Nico sat on the picnic table with his feet on the bench, arms folded across his knees, staring off into space. As Deen found his spot and shut off the car, Nico hopped down and approached.

“I wondered if you were standing me up.”

Deen’s answer came before he even thought about it. “Could I stand up a pretty face like that?”

Although Nico rolled his eyes, the slight red flush along his cheeks and ears was obvious. He blushed so easily. Deen was going to have a lot of fun with him over the next few weeks.

“Flattery won’t make me carry your amps.”

“I didn’t bring any music gear.” Deen pulled a sad face. He hadn’t even brought an acoustic guitar, reasoning it might be a pain in the ass to lug around even if it felt traditional. “But I can sing Morning Has Broken. What else do you do at summer camp?”

“Tell the bears where to find you?” Nico’s lips quirked into a smile, and he reached out to grab one of Deen’s bags despite his grumpy words.

He was even more pretty when he smiled.

Shaking the thought off, Deen winked. “I’ve gone for my share of bears… and twinks… and everything in between.”

“Oh, really.” Nico rolled his eyes again, though he was half-smiling.

Okay, the sex thing isn’t working yet. Do I have to attract him with tree science? But before Deen could speak, Nico drew a breath.

“There’s not a lot of action here in the mountains. Unless lumberjacks are your thing.”

Deen laughed. “Just as well. My manager tells me to take a break. Make the most of the woods. Channel my inner hippie, only without three cups of tea.”

“I can give you three beers, but I only do grocery runs once a week so they’d have to last a while.”

Deen mock-groaned. The suitcase was already getting heavy, but he refused to regret it. He was starting to wonder how far it was to the cabin. He’d heard it would be in the heart of the woods.

As they reached the path, he spotted an ATV with a luggage box on the back.

“Oh, shit. I love these things!”

Nico’s eyes crinkled, and the most adorable dimples appeared on his soft cheeks. How badly Deen wanted to cup them and kiss them…

“Do you ride them a lot?”

“Not these days.” Once the luggage was loaded in, strapped down with a net that looked completely inadequate, Deen took the helmet Nico handed him. “When I was a teen.”

“Don’t tell me: beer, illegal forest barbecues, and mudding.”

Deen stared at Nico for a moment, wondering if he’d looked him up—or if he’d even said that in an interview for some teen magazine somewhere. “How did you know?”

“Lucky guess,” Nico dryly told him, sliding the helmet on and straddling the ATV in one quick movement.

Oh, shit. That was hot. Deen was suddenly very glad he’d stopped at the bathroom before he left. There was something about the way his muscles rippled under his uniform, tantalizingly hidden yet so clearly present…

He took a little longer to slide onto the seat of the ATV, leaning back to figure out how much space he had to lean back. Just in case.

“It’s pretty wet. Lean forward and lift your feet when I yell, Up,” Nico instructed him.

“Yes, sir.”

“And hold on, for God’s sake.”

Deen didn’t even let him finish the sentence before he slipped his arms around Nico’s waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. His visor bumped the back of Nico’s helmet as he purred, “Like this?”

He hoped Nico felt how hard his heart was thumping as he pressed their bodies together. Now, he could easily imagine what it would feel like to have Nico in his arms, pressed up against him as a little spoon. Or…

“Like that. Sure.”

Nico started up the engine, and Deen kept his hold tight as he cast his brain around for something to focus on.

Whatever Bryan says, we’re definitely going to fuck.

5

Nico

It was pretty hard not to notice the surprisingly strong arms wrapped around his waist. Even when Deen loosened his grip on the flat sections of trail, the occasional tap of the helmet against the back of his own reminded him that he had a passenger.

Nico had had a feeling Deen would be bringing more than his body weight in luggage. Luckily, he’d been wrong, but three bags still seemed extreme for a month.

These were the moments Nico had to remind himself that not everyone was accustomed to having to beg for an extra couple ounces of space for a luxury item. Everything in the rocket meant more fuel, and more money, getting it into space.

“Here we are.” Nico slowed down as he pulled around the side of the cabin, then shut off the engine. “Welcome to home.”

“Is this where we stay?”

He’s trying hard. Nico hid his smile. He pulled his helmet off and shook his head as he climbed off the machine, offering a hand to help Deen. “No, just you. My cabin’s the one on the other side of that tree.”

Deen took it and groaned as he eased off the ATV. “Is this the some idiot got lost in the woods cabin?”

“Something like that,” Nico laughed. In reality, it was used for trainees, medical emergencies, people who got lost here in the winter, and all sorts of other purposes. There were a couple bunk beds and an indoor outhouse, so as far as he was concerned, it was the luxury option around here.

Deen grabbed his bags and hauled them inside, then called out, “Any electricity?”

“Nope. There’s an emergency generator, but that’s for storms. My cabin has some charging capabilities, though.”

“Ah, shit.” Deen’s mumble was easily audible from outside.

Nico grinned to himself as he took the last bag inside, then glanced at Deen. “Were you expecting the amenities?”

“Some,” Deen admitted sheepishly. He looked around, and Nico followed his gaze to study the cabin as if for the first time. To him, it was basic but functional, but if Deen was used to five-star hotels, it would look primitive.

The private cabins for rent were much more upscale. From what Nico’s boss had told him, Deen would be roughing it here the whole time.

“Choose any bunk you want,” Nico told him. There were four in the room, though they were rarely all in use at once. “This place is all yours. Hungry?”

“Oh, God. Food. No electricity…” Deen mumbled, looking around.

“You can’t cook?” Nico’s lips twitched into a smile. “I’ll teach you to forage for berries. Edible mushrooms. Maybe wild greens.” Deen cast him a sorrowful look, and Nico laughed. “Fine. I’ll show you how to use the hotplate.”

“I brought a sandwich. Er, and I got you one. Chicken bacon or egg salad? I wasn’t sure what you liked.”

He brought me food? Despite himself, Nico smiled. “I’ll take the egg salad. Thanks, man.”

“Of course. You gave me a ride.” Deen couldn’t seem to help but slip innuendo in there. But Nico was not going to let some celebrity come here, woo him, fuck him, and break his heart. And he was too reasonable to see any other ending to this.

“So, I’ll go over the terrain maps with you,” he told Deen as he unwrapped the sandwich. “Grab them from that cupboard.”

He was easily able to distract Deen by talking about the trails nearby. He explained the natural spots that would look good at this time of year on camera, and a few hidden gems. He’d half-expected to bore Deen. The guy was taking notes on his phone and nodding earnestly like he was actually interested.

“So you’re keeping me on the safe paths,” Deen observed after a few minutes of Nico jabbing at the map.

Nico hesitated. He didn’t want to say yes and make Deen feel like he was being babysat, but Deen was also new to this camping thing. “Yeah, I don’t want you getting eaten by the aforementioned bears.”

“Aforementioned,” Deen repeated, his lips quirking into a smile. “A brainy ranger.”

Nico eyed Deen for a moment to make sure he wasn’t being sarcastic or vicious about it. Some people got really weird when he didn’t conform to the gruff, dumb mountain man image they expected. His boss wanted him to give astronomy talks and design interpretative exhibits. Drew didn’t understand how out of touch Nico was with the basics—the Big Dipper and Andromeda, that stuff. It was hard to explain simple concepts now, and it just sounded egotistic to say that.

“Thanks?” Nico tried.

Deen winked. “So, I’m going here.” He jabbed at the closely-spaced lines that indicated one of the peaks on the North Carolina side of the border.

“Climbing a mountain? With what gear? Your running shoes?”

“They have a good grip.”

“Once the mosquitos smell your hairspray, they’ll carry you up there on their own,” Nico grumbled. Seriously, he didn’t want to be around Deen if he was going to bring all the mozzies to the yard.

“I’ll put on more repellant.”

Now Deen was sounding like the dumbass tourists who got lost and needed to be rescued a couple times per season. Nico narrowed his eyes at him and stood up straight, folding his arms across his chest. “Do you understand the dangers of the wilderness?”

Deen smirked, looking him up and down. “I have some ideas.”

“This is not skinny jeans and eyeliner territory. You could get seriously hurt, and then I’d be in trouble,” Nico told him.

Deen tossed his head. “I’ll wear what I want. I’m not asking you to rescue me.”

“Doesn’t mean I won’t have to anyway. But fine, you go where you want to go. I won’t come save your ass when you get in trouble.” Nico was heating up, and he needed to walk away. He was always cool-tempered and levelheaded, both from his own personality and boot camp. These days, Drew even put him in charge of the real asshole tour groups. Where was this coming from? Was Deen intentionally pushing his buttons?

“Good.” Deen pulled the maps toward himself and dropped into a chair, punching notes into his phone. “Tomorrow morning, I’ll start exploring.”

Nico stood up and turned to Deen to make sure he listened. “No wandering around the woods here at night. The immediate vicinity is safe, but it’s getting dark and you could get hurt.”

“Aye aye.”

“Don’t leave without me, either.”

Deen nodded again.

“And for God’s sake, don’t do anything stupid and get yourself killed until I wake up.” Nico dropped his ranger voice and shook his head. “Now. I better get some rest so I don’t kill you myself,” he muttered as he headed for the door.

Deen’s parting laugh should have annoyed him, but it wasn’t mean-spirited or triumphant, like he’d won. It was more like he was giving in to the humor of the moment, letting Nico win that one, and it defused his anger.

Nico shook his head, closing the cabin door behind himself and leaning on it for a few moments. There was something about Deen that was drawing him in, and had from the first moment. It was getting under his skin like a splinter. He couldn’t help being demanding, trying to drill the dangers into that flighty head of Deen’s. But, also like a splinter, the more he dug around at it, the more it burned. There were sparks there he couldn’t ignore.

Dammit, Nico wanted to grab him by the shoulders, but he didn’t know if he wanted to shake him or kiss him. He shook his head again as he strode for his cabin, trying to banish the image of those pretty lips twisted into an infuriating smile.

That answers that question. Definitely kiss him.

Fuck. This was way outside his usual territory.

6

Deen

“On your knees, Deen.”

Deen pressed the back of his head into the single flat pillow and gritted his teeth, his toes curling into the bed.

He’d lasted five minutes after Nico stormed out before the fantasies started. Another five minutes and he was in his bunk, his hand around his throbbing cock.

He imagined that rock-solid body facing his, Nico’s biceps rippling as he folded his arms across his barrel chest. Everything strained against his uniform…

And his voice. It dropped an octave, got growly and authoritative when Nico wanted him to listen. This probably wasn’t the intended effect. Deen could barely remember what Nico had told him—something about staying close to the cabin. He’d been much too busy trying not to spring a boner at the way Nico glowered at him.

Too fucking hot.

“God, yes,” Deen hissed, squeezing his eyes shut to imagine Nico braced in the middle of the room, like not long ago. Only this time, Deen was on his knees in front of him. Nico grabbed the back of his head to push his face against his crotch.

“Suck.” One word—that was all it would take, and Deen would follow Nico’s orders to the end of the earth.

What did Nico look like? Thick, judging by his covert glances at those khaki trousers. Hopefully long, too. He’d wrap his lips around it, tasting the salt and sweat, until Nico’s length slipped down his throat.

He’d blow Nico hard and fast until the ranger had to grab the table for support as his knees got weak. He’d run his tongue along each vein he found, around the head. Finally, he’d pull his mouth off that glorious cock with a quiet, wet pop, and then…

Then he’d grab Nico and bend him over.

That gorgeous, round ass was impossible not to notice, especially grinding against it for the whole ATV ride. He’d slide inside the tightness of Nico, making his grip on the table weak but desperate. Chaos as maps slid off the surface and the furniture scraped the floor. Nico’s needy groans and grunts as he pounded that tight ass…

He wanted to feel Nico squeezing around him as he reached around to that still-wet, aching cock and stroked it hard and fast. Wanted to make Nico come with the force of a man who’d been alone in the woods for much too long. Wanted to hear him desperately whimpering Deen’s name…

“Gonna—fuck!” Deen came hard, gasping for air as he rolled his head back. His hand was wet and warm now, the last few droplets trickling down his shaft.

Better clean that up, in case Nico changed his mind and came to supervise him up close tonight.

Every muscle in Deen’s body was limp and relaxed now, and… huh. That was kind of weird. Even after the orgasm, he was still picturing Nico there.

Wrapped in his arms afterward, sharing the confined space of this bunk.

Deen brushed off the thought as highly fucking unlikely. He didn’t sleep with people. Not physically, anyway. Sex? Sure. Sharing space at night? Fuck off.

Once he reached the bathroom, Deen grabbed toilet paper to wipe his hands and dick off. He realized his mistake a second too late—it was that shitty single-ply stuff. And it was now shredding all over him.

“Fucking hell.” He really should have known, after finding an outhouse in here—the toilet was some composting thing, for God’s sake.

Deen squinted at himself, then awkwardly sidled over to the sink and turned on the tap. The cold blast of water across his hands made him yelp, which was really a shriek, and jump backwards.

Of course. No hot water.

He winced and darted his hands under the stream a few more times, like he was waving his hands through a candle flame. Then he looked down at himself.

“Here goes nothing.”

It was exactly as unpleasant as he’d expected to wipe the tissue bits off himself, even by way of his hands rather than directly under the stream of water.

“Cold, cold cold cold, motherfucking cold!”

Nico would be laughing his ass off right about now. Deen’s lips quirked into a slight smile, even if his manhood shrank from the abuse he was giving it.

“Sorry, little guy. Almost there.”

When he was clean, he yanked his underwear up again and snuggled himself safely in it to warm up again. He was definitely going to get good tissues on his next run to town. Or fantasize a little less about his new ranger friend, but that was unlikely.

* * *

Deen was gonna have to ration his beer. One can a night? It might be good for him, but it also might drive him batshit.

He leaned back against the log, trying to find a more comfortable place to sit on the ground. It was dry here, at least, and the clearing around the cabin meant he could see almost all the way to the horizon in one direction. The mountains and trees cut off much of the rest of his view of the stars.

And it was peaceful, apart from how goddamn noisy all the woodland creatures were.

Every breath of wind made the trees rustle, and once in a while he heard a twig snap or a faint rustle that reminded him he probably wasn’t alone.

No wonder Nico had told him to stay close to the cabin. But he was not going to get freaked out and let this scare him off. Not like some stupid city slicker.

Deen took a deep breath and returned his gaze to the sky, watching the stars. Despite the narrow sliver of sky he could see, it was packed tightly with pinpricks of light. There was even a faint haze that he thought might be the Milky Way.

Had he ever been somewhere this dark, this far from civilization? If so, not for a long time. Hundreds—thousands of stars in the deep navy blue of the sky, and more would come out as the night wore on. It was amazing.

Another twig snapped, accompanied by a voice. “You’re bad at following directions.”

Deen managed to restrain his yelp to a muffled noise, but he crushed his beer can with the adrenaline spike. “Jesus.”

“No, just Nico.” The ranger sat next to him in shorts and a light t-shirt.

Oh, shit. That was distracting. Especially in light of his recent fantasy. Deen tried not to blush, and he was goddamn glad it was dark now.

“Cool,” Deen managed, which was about the most uncool response he could have conjured up. At least it wasn’t I just jerked off to you and then angered my dick when I washed up, do you have hot water I can use next time?

“Enjoying the night view?”

“Lots of stars here,” Deen murmured. “And… live things. Rustling away.”

“It’s probably just squirrels. Or coyotes about to eat you.”

“Thanks.”

“Welcome,” Nico chuckled softly. The sound was… sweet, deep. It made Deen want to press his hand on Nico’s chest to feel it.

Holy crap, this man was getting to him. He sounded like a goddamn cheeseball now.

“You been out here long?” Deen went with.

“Five years.”

“Hell of a job. I can see why you’d like it.”

“You’ve barely seen any of my job yet,” Nico chuckled. “But thanks. I do like it.”

“What do you do?”

“Anything and everything. More maintenance than you can imagine—on buildings, trails, signs, etc. Interpretive programs and guided tours. Hunting down little twerps when they’re vandalizing the place. Helping lost tourists get unlost.”

“Mm.” Deen stretched his legs out in front of him, and for once, the ground seemed exactly perfect to nestle his ass in. No roots or stones digging into him. A log at his back for support, so he could lean back. “I don’t mean to be a pain in the ass. But I didn’t come here to be safe and sheltered and… boring. People want to see interesting things. I want to do interesting things.”

“I promise it won’t be boring.” Nico looked over at him. It was hard to gauge his expression in the half-remembered light, not quite nighttime but nowhere near day, either. “I thought you’d just wanna take a few photos and scramble. That’s what most celebs do.”

“Hm? I guess I can see that,” Deen conceded. And if he were honest, that’s what he’d done before. Most of his Instagram account was moderately fictionalized. Boring parties he’d been to long enough to make them look interesting in a snap, then left. The glamor shot of setting up for a show, without the stress and shouting and important missing cables. Hell, the VIP meet-and-greets with people who tried to get their hands all over him and shoved each other away for the chance.

Nico hummed under his breath. “You been… singing for long? You sing, right?”

“Yeah. For my whole life. My parents wanted me to be a firefighter or something, but they knew they were in trouble early. Luckily I got spotted early, too.”

“Why a firefighter?”

“I don’t know. Maybe so I wouldn’t hang around being a drama queen,” Deen laughed.

Nico grinned, his teeth glinting faintly. “No, you? Really?”

“Shut up,” Deen laughed and shoved Nico, and Nico shoved back. Their shoulders rested together when they stopped, and neither of them moved away.

Long minutes passed in silence. Although Deen found himself with a hundred questions about Nico—why he’d come here of all places, where he was from, what he liked to do aside from lead strangers around the park—he didn’t voice any of them.

They had weeks for that, and this moment felt too precious to shatter.

Finally, Nico eased himself up with a long sigh, rolling his shoulders. “Get to bed. The sun rises early.”

“And let me guess: you rise with it?” Deen crushed his empty can and fidgeted with the tab between two fingers, spinning the can around as he stood up.

“Bingo.”

“Oh, God. I should have known.”

Nico winked. “What’s the use in being your guardian ranger if I can’t even torment you a little?”

“I’ll look forward to that,” Deen groaned. He found himself disappointed that Nico had already started to walk off, and he couldn’t shove him again. Or kiss him good night.

Wait. What was that thought?

“Good night,” Nico called out.

It took a second before Deen managed to swallow hard and answer. He made his feet move in the direction of the cabin door. “Night.”

7

Nico

Deen was surprisingly tolerable. More and more, Nico suspected that he had a flighty, self-centered image because the public expected it. One-on-one, though? The intentional charm was turned off, but his boyish enthusiasm didn’t stop.

“This is the first video, so it doesn’t have to be exciting yet. No bungee-jumping.” Deen was commenting on everything they passed, the camera strapped to his chest.

“Thank God for that.” Nico sucked in his breath after a moment. “Oh. Can I talk?”

“Do you want to be in the videos?”

“Not particularly.”

Deen cast him a quirked smile. “I’ll mute the sound. Most people jump at the chance to be on my Instagram, you know.”

“I noticed by all the sponsored stuff,” Nico teased.

He didn’t expect Deen’s face to fall. “Ah. Yeah.” Before he could figure out what that meant, Deen cleared his throat and hopped over a branch on the trail. “I hope you don’t think I’m… full of myself just because a lot of people know me. I put my pants on one leg at a time this morning.”

Was that nervousness? For Nico’s approval? Deen didn’t need that at all.

“What? No,” Nico shook his head. “It’s part of your job.”

“Job,” Deen repeated quietly. He stopped in his tracks, facing the mountains to capture a view through the clearing on his camera. After a few seconds, he turned back to the path and started walking again. “It is a job, sort of. Most people don’t look at it that way.”

“It’s a lifestyle, too, I guess,” Nico nodded. Did he ever know how that felt! Even on Earth, preparing for his launch had been an utterly isolating experience. He’d formed close bonds with his colleagues, but there was no easy way to tell friends or dates, By the way, I’m going to space soon.

“Yeah. I get sucked into it, and then… well, that’s why I’m here.”

Nico didn’t want to ask, but his curiosity was nibbling at him. He tried not to pry into anyone’s life, which worked nicely for him because it kept them from reciprocating. Most of his ranger coworkers knew he’d worked at the Space Agency, but only a few had Googled him and put two and two together.

It saved him from having to talk about the accident.

“To get away from it all?” Nico tried.

Deen cast him a crooked smile. “I’m going to assume you didn’t Google me.”

“No. I only get five hundred megs of data a month.”

Deen yelped. “How do you live on that?”

“By being a boring old man,” Nico laughed. Despite himself, he was warming to Deen every minute. He must have been pretty damn in need of some human contact, too. He found himself thinking about ways to make their hands touch as they walked.

“Mm. I hope I don’t turn into one after four weeks here.”

“You’ll go back home and—” That’s right. He’ll go back home. “And not wanna watch TV.”

“I already don’t. No time,” Deen chuckled ruefully. “Except if I’ve got a day off after a show and I sleep in, and order room service and watch Judge Judy.”

“Holy shit, me too.”

“Really?” Deen lit up.

“No. I just told you how much data I get. What, one episode?” Nico grinned.

Deen laughed. “Oh. Yeah. You got me there. But yeah, this is mostly to get away. I was thinking with my dick, and I got trapped into this…” he waved a hand. “Bullshit scandal.”

“You? Thinking with your downstairs brain? I’ve known you for a day and I can’t imagine that,” Nico retorted with a straight face.

Deen cracked up and shoved his shoulder, and Nico pretended to stumble. “Shut up.”

“No, you,” Nico grinned, shoving him back.

It turned into a tussling match until they both realized the camera was recording. They grumbled as they let go.

“So, what happened?” Nico kicked a branch off the path, then bent over to check out the flowers on it. It wasn’t dead; someone had yanked this off deliberately, if it was flowering.

When he straightened up, he caught Deen’s eyes sliding off his ass as he looked down at the camera, shutting it off. “Paparazzi.”

“Ah. Shit.” Nico winced sympathetically.

“Yeah. Some guy threw himself at me, we went out in the alley…”

Nico couldn’t stop his nose crinkling. Was he saying he fucked guys in alleys? That was sleazy as hell.

Deen laughed. “Yeah, but where else?”

“Dressing room?”

“I save it for the guys I really like,” Deen laughed. “Besides, that one didn’t have a lock on the door. Unless you’re into that…”

Nico put up his hands. “Fair enough.” His sense of privacy was a little warped after his time training and on the Space Station anyway.

“Anyway, he had drugs—I don’t know if they were real or fake—but it looked like coke. Tried to offer me some, then I guess he sent a signal or something. Suddenly there were cops, and paparazzi. And he climbed a fuckin’ fire escape and got away.”

Nico’s jaw dropped. “That’s like something out of a movie.”

“I know.” Deen sighed and shrugged. “Luckily I’d ditched the condom, but being told to put your hands up when you’re…”

“I can imagine,” Nico cut him off with a laugh. “Don’t need more details.”

“Are you sure?” Deen teased. “I can go on.”

Nico tried to stop his blush and utterly failed. The image of Deen in those skinny jeans and thin black shirt, his throbbing erection poking out of the fly, was not one he needed while hiking with the guy. “I’m sure.”

Jesus. Get into town and get laid this weekend. You’re only supposed to make sure the guy doesn’t get killed in the park. Very bad PR.

“Anyway, Bryan pulled some kind of magic trick. Got them to say they were giving me a warning for, uh, public urination.”

Nico snorted with laughter. “That’s a stretch.”

“One of the cops’ kids was a fan or something,” Deen mumbled. It was his turn to look embarrassed.

Nico smirked. “You got off light, then.”

“Yeah. But still, Rock star whips it out to christen dumpster in Atlanta alley… not the headline Bryan and I want at the top of Google.”

“I can imagine,” Nico grinned. “So you’re going for, Rock star saves wildlife and charms National Parks Service?”

“Is it working?”

“I’m a little charmed.” Nico wasn’t even bantering about that. “Keep going.”

“Okay. I will,” Deen winked. “And maybe I won’t even end up in the bushes here.”

“We have public toilet facilities, so I hope not,” Nico sternly wagged a finger.

Deen leaned in, their shoulders brushing, and murmured, “That wasn’t what I meant.” His breath was hot on Nico’s cheek, and a shiver ran down Nico’s spine.

“Wasn’t it?” Nico played innocent, even though his heart was thumping at Deen’s sudden proximity. He smelled fresh and musky with some products. Every bit of scent was strong to Nico’s nose, now that he was used to scentless shampoo and deodorant.

They were both in t-shirts, so the heat of their bare biceps brushing was a level of sensory input, Deen’s forearm hair tickling against Nico’s skin another. All tiny, subtle cues, adding up to make Nico squirm.

Deen winked and turned on the camera. He sauntered ahead of Nico to capture more of the magnificent views breaking through the clearing. Nico’s lips quirked into a smirk as he let himself check out Deen’s ass. Nice. He definitely kept in shape, even if he was busy touring.

Cool the fuck off, Nico told himself. He tugged at his uniform to make sure everything was in place and distract himself. The more he heard, the more Deen sounded like a playboy. He could just be toying with him while there was nothing more interesting around.

On the other hand, dirty-minded, cocky rock stars were supposed to make good one-night stands. Maybe it wasn’t that bad an idea.

You’ve got weeks. Make him work for it.

8

Deen

After the first couple days, cold showers weren’t that bad, as long as Deen was quick. No luxuriating in the steam and mentally rehearsing his setlist. Definitely no fantasizing about Nico “Mega-Hotty” McRanger.

The response to his first few vlogs had been awesome. He had a flood of questions to answer, most of which were about him and his tour plans. Some people seemed genuinely curious about the park, though.

He needed Nico’s assistance to answer them, and Nico always seemed to know what to say.

“The Smokies were approved in ’26, but there wasn’t enough land yet. So it was actually put together in parcels of land over the next eight years. Technically you could say it was founded in ’34. There’s a longer story there, but they can find out about it on Wikipedia if they really wanna know.”

Deen typed as he walked, taking notes. “Okay. Awesome. And I have another question: what’s the best season to camp here?”

“Best?” Nico exclaimed.

Deen hid his smile and looked up at Nico. It was hard to pay attention to his words when he drew this enthusiastic, almost geeky side of Nico out. His gestures became broader, he stood straighter, and his eyes lit up. He even moved differently, hopping over tree roots and swinging his lower body along sections of path with parallel railings like it was a gym.

“That’s the question. You decide how to answer.” Deen grinned, thumbs hovering over his phone keyboard. He tried not to focus his stare on the way the uniform creased around Nico’s pecs.

“Every season offers something different here. In winter there’s snow and ice, obviously, so it’s better for more experienced campers. May is beautiful, flower-wise. Summer and fall are peak seasons. If you’re an early riser, July for the long days—it’s so hot in late afternoons that we don’t advise long hiking trips without preparation and experience, so you need to get up early to explore.”

He sounded like a park brochure—excited at the idea of someone coming to visit at any time of year.

It was kind of adorable.

“What would your favorite season be?” Deen prompted.

“Hmm… winter. No fire risk, beautiful scenery if you can tolerate the cold, less work for me to do. Getting snowed in occasionally happens. Winter rescues are less fun and more urgent, but fewer visitors. And getting cozy in my cabin… I have a fireplace.”

“Hot water, electricity, and a fireplace? I’m starting to feel like that’s fancy,” Deen laughed.

“It’s amazing how a few days here changes your perspective.”

“It is.” Deen glanced around, then smiled to himself. “I didn’t expect that.”

“We’re almost at the Sinks now.” Nico eyed him sternly. “And I’ll remind you cliff diving here is illegal.”

“I’ll tell them that,” Deen promised. “Don’t want some kid getting hurt on my account.”

Nico’s stance softened. “Good. Half a dozen people have died here from being idiots.”

Deen nodded, then changed the subject to something less likely to upset him. “Do you come here a lot?”

“Nah. It’s a bit touristy for me.”

The more he said, the more Deen got the feeling he wanted to present himself as a hermit. But he still hadn’t figured out why: his initial impressions of Nico had been confirmed over the last few days. The man was charming and personable, funny, smart, responsible, and hot. He was pretty much the perfect package.

What the hell had made him come hide here?

“Are you wading with me?”

“I’ll hold the camera while you do,” Nico told him. “Downstream.”

Deen raised his eyebrow. It was early enough in the day that few people were around to watch them. Now was the perfect time to tempt him into having a bit of fun.

“Is it against the rules to splash around? Strictly no fun? You’ve even got shorts on…”

He saw it in his eyes: Nico’s resolve wavered. “Well…”

“C’mon.” Deen grinned. “It’s gonna be a hot day. Cool off.”

“Fine.” Nico laughed. “But no filming me in the water.”

Deen pretended to pout, then shook hands on it. “Deal.”

The falls themselves were a little impressive, but soon boring. Water tumbled over rocks into the river, much like every other waterfall Deen had been to.

He much preferred the quieter area downstream where Nico approved of their wading. Sunlight streamed through the trees, casting the golden glow of morning on the water. It was so clear that the large, smooth rocks along the bottom of the stream were plain as day.

Once he stripped off his hiking sandals, Deen double-checked the waterproof case on the camera, then stepped off the trail into the water.

The water was crisp and cold around his feet. He couldn’t stifle his yelp.

He heard Nico laughing behind him as he followed. Keeping the camera turned away from the ranger, he got a few seconds’ footage pointing upstream toward the falls and the trees overhanging the river. The lush green scenery of the spot would come out great on the computer.

Deen wanted to show off how adorably Nico stepped from rock to rock, trying to avoid getting his feet wet, but he resisted.

He let Nico pass by him toward the middle of the flat, large clearing where eddies of water gently swirled, a far cry from the roar a few minutes’ hike upstream. When Nico reached a rock in the middle, Deen grabbed him around the waist and hauled.

“Jesus!” Nico exclaimed, but that was it—they were both stumbling onto their knees in the cold water, splashing each other as they tried to scramble to their feet.

“Cold cold cold!” Deen yelped.

Nico was laughing, and he expertly scooped a palmful of cold water to fling in his face. His shorts were soaked by the time he scrambled to his feet. “Of course it is! Dick.”

Deen laughed loudly. “Sorry.”

“Liar.”

“I couldn’t resist.” Deen couldn’t resist the opportunity to raise his eyebrows with all the innuendo he could sneak into that remark, and as always, Nico blushed.

“That’s more like it,” Nico rolled his eyes.

God, it was fun making him get all hot-faced and flustered. It was usually shortly followed by blustering, and sure enough…

“That’s a good view up the river. You got that yet? How about a shot over that way? Then when we’re dry again, asshole, we can take some shots from the cliffs near the actual falls.”

Deen let him change the subject with all the subtlety of a charging rhino. “Sounds perfect.”

“This way. I came here for the first time with a couple other new rangers when I first started. After dark, when the visitors were all gone. It was a full moon.” Nico picked his way along the rocks again, keeping his feet out of the water.

That put him at a good level for Deen, who was still in the river, to check out the way his khaki shorts clung to the curves of his ass. “Yeah?” Deen prompted, tearing his eyes away from the sight. He crouched to get a shot of the water streaming over the camera, half-submersed in the river.

“Is the microphone underwater?”

“Yeah.” Deen tilted his head as he crouched gingerly in the shallows. The view up the length of Nico’s body was even better—and sent a lot more inappropriate thoughts through his head.

“We drank beers and jumped off the cliffs,” Nico mumbled. “Don’t tell anyone.”

Deen burst out laughing. “No way.”

“Yeah. We were idiots. Everyone was fine, but… there you go. Guilty confession.”

“I can’t believe it. You seem like you follow the rules,” Deen clicked his tongue.

Nico chuckled. “I’m not really one for rebellion. I don’t know why I joined in.”

“Social pressure?”

“I guess.”

Deen lifted the camera out of the water and shut it off. Somehow, having Nico share a secret like that meant more to him than their playful joking earlier.

He doesn’t hate me. That’s a start.

“Nobody got hurt. Don’t feel guilty,” Deen advised him, flashing him a grin. “If I felt guilty for everything I’ve done that technically broke a rule or two, but turned out fine…”

Nico chuckled. “I like your attitude.”

“First time hearing that,” Deen snorted.

Nico broke into laughter and wrung out his shorts. “Yeah, apart from the poor impulse control…”

Deen laughed softly, not wanting to interrupt. The rich warmth of Nico’s voice, his laugh rolling through the clearing and along the water, the muted rush of the falls nearby… He just seemed to fit here.

For a moment, Deen felt a pang of envy. He loved his career, loved getting to appear on stage, loved getting good reviews. Hell, he loved the social media parts of his career, where he had to figure out how to respond to questions that even he found invasive. He loved singing more than anything, and everything else just enabled him to do it.

But this life? Living here, unafraid of a bit of manual labor, surrounded by the changing seasons and wildlife and biodiversity? He could see the appeal. Sure, he’d go crazy here, but it suited Nico.

Nothing seemed to stress Nico out. He looked as familiar with the trails as Deen was with the mixing table. And there weren’t record label managers and agents and fans to juggle, writing new music and giving interviews, and all the chaos that came with touring.

There weren’t texts in the morning from Bryan wondering if he’d gotten started writing yet, because the execs were turning the thumbscrews on him and he needed something to tell them.

No wonder he’s stalling. He’d never go for someone like me.

It was a punch to the gut. Deen covered up the momentary thought by cracking an immature joke about his impulse control, hoping Nico hadn’t noticed.

But the thought stayed in the back of his mind, even as Nico flirted back in little ways, or clapped his shoulder to steer him along the right trail.

No way should he get his hopes up. This wasn’t a future. When he thought about it, Deen didn’t know what a future looked like for him. Not like here, where nature was predictable as clockwork.

It was one day, one song, one gig, one fleeting lover at a time.

9

Nico

“You made it through your first week!”

Nico pretended to roll his eyes and groan at Jeff, clinking their beer cans together. “Somehow. No, actually, he’s pretty good company.”

Jeff stared at him. “Do you like him? Are you seeing him?”

It was suddenly way too hot in the multipurpose center. Nico snorted at Jeff and shook his head. “What the fuck? Don’t start rumors, man. I don’t wanna be in the paper because someone thought that.”

“Well, I don’t think you’ve ever said that one of us is pretty good company. You don’t like people.”

“That’s ’cause you’re not,” Nico grinned broadly at Jeff, who smacked the back of his head. He ducked away and laughed.

“Thanks, asshole.”

They were in the corner of the little get-together, watching as Deen talked to Drew.

“Kayaking, too?” Deen was taking notes on his phone. “I could promote that for sure. Are there any private outfitters who’d want advertising? Ones who won’t drown me?”

“Yeah, there are. I can give you a list of the reputable ones.”

“Perfect. Thanks.”

Jeff elbowed Nico. “He’s quite the go-getter, isn’t he? He was asking me earlier about the demographics of the visitors in my territory.”

Nico cracked a grin, trying not to feel proud of Deen. It wasn’t like he had any claim to it, but he did anyway. For some reason, he wanted them to see the same Deen he did—the shockingly practical, fun-loving guy, not the aloof rock star.

“It can only be good for us,” Nico pointed out. “Visitor numbers are up year-on-year. Drawing attention away from the big boys to the local parks helps everyone else, too. Maybe some fans in other states will look at the parks in their backyards, instead of everyone flooding Yellowstone.”

Jeff eyed him and sipped a few times. Finally, he commented, “You have high hopes for a bunch of vlogs.”

But Nico was distracted—Samantha, one of the newer rangers who worked part-time at the biggest campground, was talking to Deen now. And unmistakably flirting with him.

If Nico had no right to feel proud of Deen for challenging their preconceptions of him, he definitely had no right to feel possessive of him.

But that was still unmistakably jealousy curling in his stomach.

“For a guy who’s not interested in him, you’re staring a little hard there,” Jeff pointed out.

Nico rolled his eyes. “Shut up.”

“Hey. I’m not judging. I knew you were gay, but I’ve never seen you actually hit on a real-life guy in, what, five years? Six?”

“Since when did this become deconstruct Nico’s love life Friday?”

“Sorry,” Jeff held up his hand and laughed. “We can talk about your sex life, if that’s any better. Did you have to read the manual again?” Nico elbowed Jeff hard, and Jeff only laughed. “I thought so.”

“You’re trying to deflect from your own sad love life,” Nico informed him.

He was determinedly not watching Deen being hit on by Stu, the park’s social media intern. Was he open about being bi? He must have been. He really should have given him more than a cursory Google search.

Focus, Nico. “Just ’cause the chick with the stables turned out to prefer oiling up her horses’ manes…” Nico verbally jabbed below the belt, too.

Jeff flipped him off. “Fine, fine. Point taken. I won’t pry.”

It was a reminder that as much as Deen was nerdy and insightful and interesting to talk to, this was Deen, too—the guy flirting with everyone who hit on him. Was he hoping to get laid tonight? Nico couldn’t blame him. He was playing hard-to-get and it sounded like Deen was used to getting what he wanted when he wanted it.

Nico had eaten his standard hot dog with onions and ketchup, had his beer, been debriefed by his boss, and caught up with his friends here. By now, Deen knew his own way back to the cabin.

There was no reason to stay and watch when, for whatever reason, it wasn’t making him feel good.

“I better head back. I have to fix my hot water tap before I can take a shower.” That wasn’t even a white lie.

“Ouch,” Jeff winced sympathetically. “Need a hand?”

“Nah. I’ll be fine. Catch you soon,” Nico waved.

Fresh air and silence again. That was the ticket.

Except for one thing. Nico checked his pocket for his phone. As soon as he got back to the cabin, he had a call to make.

* * *

“Hey! You ever gonna make it down here one of these nights, or are you living with the bears and the coyotes now?” There was a roar of laughter in the background.

Despite the sarcasm, Nico grinned. It was good to hear from Blane again. “Who all’s there?”

“Besides me, Roman’s in town, but they’re about to send him off to Asia for a week so he’s going home early like some responsible adult.” Blane scoffed. “Josh, of course. Ty can’t make it, he’s racing this weekend and the sponsors wanted a whole video campaign set up beforehand. And Dustin’s coming in an hour when they let him off work.”

Nico squinted, focusing on Blane’s voice over the din of the background of the bar to listen to the roll call. “Sounds like a blast.” Nico didn’t often feel this pang of loneliness, but now and then, he was reminded just how isolated he was. The park was only a few hours’ drive from Knoxville, but most of the guys lived closer. It was easier for them to find times to meet up despite their very different schedules.

It had been a priority for them over the last few years, as more of them moved back to town. Roman had realized that New York City rent was draining his bank account while he was in the skies most of the time anyway. Josh took over the farm when his old man kicked the bucket. One by one, they’d drifted back.

There was nothing like old friends who knew him better than he knew himself. They had stuck by his side, understanding when training missions took him away from home for months at a time. They were almost all the non-straight kids in their grade back then, drawn together before all of them even knew that about themselves.

“How’s everyone doing?” Nico followed up.

“How about we tell you when you make it here? Couple weeks from now, we think everyone’s schedules will work. You gotta be here. If you don’t show, we’ll come kidnap you ourselves.”

Nico nodded to himself. “Yeah. Yeah, that’d be great. I’ll come.”

“Yes!” Blane exclaimed. “How about you? You’ve been awfully quiet.”

“Not much,” Nico lied, his mind instantly going to Deen. “My boss has reassigned me for a couple weeks to some new duties, but nothing to write home about.”

“You see any more of those coyotes?” Josh asked, his voice crackling through the speaker now. “One of my guys said he heard them two nights ago.” For a guy who owned a farm, even if it was a dude ranch, wildlife was a real concern of his.

“Nope. No sightings here,” Nico told him. “I can ask around. How about that girl who moved into the post office?” The guys had been teasing Josh, trying to get him to get together with her. He’d steadfastly refused to seriously date since taking over the farm a couple years ago. They’d pushed him into a couple first dates, but that was it.

As always, Josh’s answer was a casual drawl: “Nah.”

“Roman won’t shut up about this fashion model he banged in… Shanghai or something. That’s about as much action as we’re getting,” Blane laughed. “You?”

“I dunno. You know how it is, being stuck up in the mountains. I mean, you think a long-distance relationship could even work?”

“Someone who didn’t come live in the backwoods of nowhere?”

“Yeah. Like someone with a job that kept him on the road.” Nico meant it to sound casual, but there was a gasp even over the chatter of the bar.

Josh exclaimed, “No way!”

“Is he hot?” Roman chimed in.

“It’s just a question!” Nico defended, his cheeks burning. A flash of movement outside caught his eye, but when he didn’t see or hear anything else, he figured it was the wind rustling through the trees.

“No way. Fuck you, man. No bullshit with us,” Blane told him, his voice heating up characteristically.

Nico groaned. “Fine. Shut up. There’s a guy… but it’s too early. It’s probably nothing.”

“Shit. You better tell us about him when you get to town. Or bring him.”

“We’re not—Jesus. I gotta go.” Nico was flustered. Even when he dated, he was typically private. He hadn’t told these guys about anyone in years, though, so he kind of appreciated their excitement.

“Okay, okay. See you soon.”

“Score with him!” Roman added while the others laughed.

Nico groaned. “Whatever. Bye.” He pressed his phone to his forehead and thumped it a couple times after he hung up.

It was his own brain’s way of making him man up. Now he had to say something to Deen—figure out them, one way or another—before their meeting in a couple weeks.

Put up or shut up.

10

Deen

There’s a guy… but it’s too early. It’s probably nothing.

It wasn’t arrogance; there was no doubt in Deen’s mind who Nico was talking about. Not with the way Nico had watched him, for all the world like a jealous boyfriend, before leaving the party.

He didn’t expect the butterflies of nerves that shivered through his body as he knocked on the door.

Or the way his heart soared when Nico opened the door and he was, again, face-to-face with the handsome ranger. Only now, Nico was in sweatpants and a t-shirt, and it was his first time seeing him out of uniform. His brain briefly stopped working.

“H-Hey.” Nico seemed startled to see him, but he pulled the door open and stepped aside. As Deen brushed past, the familiar electric charge of being close to Nico crawled along his skin. “You made it back fine. Sorry for ditching you.” His voice had a slight uptick, as if wondering if that was what brought Deen here.

“What? No, it’s fine,” Deen chuckled, dragging his mind off Nico’s body.

He took a moment to look around and cool off. The cabin was more spacious and bright than his—a couple of energy-efficient lights and furniture that was less “summer camp” made all the difference.

“It was a nice walk up. Quiet, too. Quiet up here.” But there was no easy way to say it, so Deen stopped trying to dance around the point. “I, uh, heard a bit of the end of your conversation.”

He’d never seen a man go pale and then red so fast. Nico slowly sank into the chair at the small dining room table, and then cleared his throat. “Oh. Uh. I… Th-That’s… highly unprofessional… I can only apologize for—”

“Shut up,” Deen snorted. “I only came to beg for a hot shower. The compliment was a bonus.”

Nico opened and closed his mouth for a moment, then pointed to a door that presumably led to the bathroom. “Be my guest?” Again, the hesitancy, like he wasn’t sure exactly what he was signing up for—but he looked eager, too. Not presumptuous, but hopeful.

Deen gave him a slow smile, letting his eyes flicker back and forth between Nico’s for a moment to enjoy their warm, honeyed brown. He had such expressive eyes. “Careful who you invite into your home in the woods. That’s how campfire cautionary tales begin.”

“Or pornos.” Then Nico turned even redder and started to apologize. Deen had already cracked up and waved a hand to get Nico to stop before he even tried. He’d just known there was a dirty sense of humor in there under the professional attitude.

“I thought your data was limited.”

“Downloads folder,” Nico retorted, grinning back at him. “I’m not splurging on streaming. That’s a waste of data if I ever heard one.”

“Curiouser and curiouser…” Deen purred, dropping his voice as he approached Nico. Then, he leaned on the table. “You did mean me, then?”

“I—Of course I meant you.” Nico scoffed. “Seriously. Who else do I ever see around here?”

“Dunno. Some hot hiker stashed away in the campgrounds? Your boss? Bryan? He’s married, by the way.”

Nico huffed a sigh, but at least he relaxed. “I don’t want to fuck your manager.”

“Hmm.” Deen hummed. “I’m trying to think whether I’ve heard that sentence before. I don’t think so, but I’m glad to now. Because you just implied…”

Nico went bright red again and pointed at the bathroom—firmer, this time. “Go shower, jerk, and get out of my face.”

“Did you just order me to jerk off in the shower, not on your face? What an old-fashioned romantic.” Deen peeled himself away from the table, aware of exactly how to move his lean body to catch Nico’s eye.

Nico looked so embarrassed he couldn’t talk. It was the sweetest expression Deen had seen on his face. It made him want to kiss him, but now probably wasn’t the moment.

In for a penny…

“Actually… I’d fuck you this second if you asked me to,” Deen murmured. He caught Nico’s eye and holding up a finger to ask him to let him finish first. “But if you’d rather we, I don’t know, hold hands and build campfires together, we can do that. I don’t usually date, so I don’t know how this works. But I don’t just want to screw you and fuck off to my tour van again.”

Shit. That was practically a declaration of love. Now Deen was the one feeling self-conscious.

Was that a teasing glint in Nico’s eye? The ranger licked his lips, then rose to his feet. “You wouldn’t believe how long it’s been for me. But not by choice. Just lack of opportunity.”

“No hikers stashed away, then,” Deen murmured, suddenly aware of how close Nico was standing.

“Unfortunately, no. Just me.”

“And me.” Deen stepped forward at the same moment as Nico so they bumped into each other. They awkwardly laughed, but neither of them moved back. Their knees brushed, and their hands found places to rest on each other’s shoulders.

Just us.

“Kiss me, then take your damn shower. We’ll see after that,” Nico told him in a murmur.

Deen wasn’t about to interrupt with his question, so he saved it for later. He ran his hand slowly up Nico’s neck to cup the back of his head. The short hair there prickled against his fingers as they both leaned in, crossing that short space.

Their lips touched and it felt like the world shifted, subtly and inexplicably. Nico’s lips were warm and rough, but wet, and skilled at pressing against Deen’s just hard enough, and…

The kiss deepened, lips sliding over lips as Deen’s breath caught in his throat. Deen caught Nico’s lower lip and sucked, and he heard a soft grunt of approval from Nico before he gave in to the same in return.

Nico’s arm tightened around his shoulders as their bodies pressed closer. Deen’s knees weakened. He was lost in the kiss, falling into the strong arms that held him here.

Fuck. He hadn’t kissed anyone on the lips, let alone like this, in… so long.

And it was good. And he wanted more.

So much more.

Adrenaline surged through him, fear and unfamiliarity bound up in desire and raw need.

As if sensing the shift in mood, Nico pulled back slowly. They were both breathing harshly as their eyes fluttered open to take each other in.

He was so pretty close up—long lashes framing those brown eyes, and high cheekbones, and freckles Deen hadn’t even noticed from a friendly distance away. They were clear on his cheeks and nose now. Maybe from the sun exposure?

“Well, that answers that question,” Nico murmured quietly, and offered him a smile. It was warm and real, and meant just for him. Deen wasn’t sure it was possible for Nico to even be anything other than genuine.

And he liked that. It was much too rare in his life.

“You wanna join me in that shower?” Deen smirked. “Make sure I don’t drown?”

Nico scoffed, but he went to lock the cabin door, and Deen knew he was in. “You think you’re smooth, don’t you?”

“I know I’m smooth. I work too hard at shaving for anything else. But you’ll find that out soon enough,” Deen teased and pulled his shirt off in a fluid motion over the back of his head.

He was surprised at how un-self-conscious Nico seemed to be, too. Always dressed up in that ranger uniform, he’d expected Nico to be more… well, reticent to show himself off.

Yet Nico’s t-shirt hit the floor just moments before his sweatpants, and he wasn’t wearing anything underneath.

Deen didn’t manage to stifle the sound of appreciation in time, his hands halfway through unbuttoning the fly on his jeans. “Oof.”

Nico looked good. He wasn’t the kind of muscled that went to the gym five times a week but couldn’t lift a sandbag when needed. Those bulging biceps, rounded pecs, every bumpy ab along the road to his navel, were all built by good old-fashioned hard work.

And the first look at his cock—long, thick, and stirring to life—was worth the wait. He wanted to drop to his knees and suck it that very second.

But Nico waved a hand up and down his body, reminding him that he was still half-dressed. Deen wiggled out of his jeans, underwear, and socks as fast as he could and ditched everything on the floor.

“Well, hello,” Nico murmured, taking his time to look Deen up and down. His gaze crawled slowly down from Deen’s eyes to his chest, then very obviously lingered on his cock before he finished looking all the way down and back up.

Deen twitched with desire, his hands curling into fists by his sides at the hot-as-fuck inspection. “Do I pass muster?”

“Full marks.” Nico winked and turned to lead him to the bathroom. It gave Deen a good ten seconds of studying that round, firm ass and imagining what he’d like to do to it.

He had a real bathroom—shabby, yes, and rustic, but with a real shower head and a hot water tap. Holy fuck, it was like Christmas.

Nico turned on the water in the small stall and tested it, then stepped inside. He barely had to crook a finger before Deen was there, squeezing into the space. It would definitely be cozy, just the way he liked it.

The first blast of hot water over his bare skin made him moan with the kind of pleasure he usually reserved for hotel rooms with silk sheets and discreet staff. “Jesus Christ, that’s good!”

“You’re gonna turn me on before we even get soaped up if you make those noises,” Nico murmured, his voice right behind Deen’s ear. Already, their thighs pressed together, warm and wet skin sliding against each other’s as they jostled for position under the shower head.

“Maybe I’m aiming for that,” Deen whispered, grinding his ass against Nico’s cock playfully before he pulled away and found the soap bar. “This soap?”

“Th-That soap.” Nico was breathless. Good.

Deen hummed and lathered up against his hands, then rinsed his face off first before running his hands down his chest. He turned, back-on to the stream, so Nico would have a better view of him rubbing the soap into his stomach.

“You wanna help get my back?”

Nico nodded and wordlessly plucked the soap bar from Deen’s hand. He stepped even closer—not that he needed to—until their bodies were pressed tightly together from chest to knee.

Nico’s eyes were dark and narrowed, like he was barely controlling himself. His half-hard cock confirmed that suspicion. Deen’s started rising to the occasion at the sight. Fuck, that was hot.

He ran the bar up Deen’s spine to the back of his head, then around his shoulder blades. The water rinsed away the soap almost immediately as he worked his way down—and still further down.

By the time Deen realized Nico was squeezing his ass, rubbing in slow circles, he was too far gone to think straight. “Fuck, yes,” he hissed over the rush of the water. He was hard as anything now, their cocks trapped between their stomachs as they leaned into each other.

“You should return the favor,” Nico purred. He pressed the bar back into Deen’s hand, stepping just far enough back that Deen could reach between them.

Deen licked his lips, barely restraining his moan of disappointment that they weren’t rubbing up against each other like animals yet. He shifted from foot to foot until he’d reined in his impatience.

No, fuck it. He was allowed to be impatient. He rubbed the bar from the hollow at the base of Nico’s throat straight down to his dick.

“Mmmph,” Nico moaned abruptly, his toes curling against the shower floor.

Deen moaned in agreement as he let the hard, flat surface tease Nico. He rubbed the bar slowly from his balls up to the tip of the shaft, around the head, and back down.

“I see you have your priorities straight,” Nico breathed out, then ran his own hands down his chest to lather up the rest of his body. But that spark of mischief surprised Deen as always. He waited to catch Deen’s eyes and ran both thumbs around his nipples in a slow tease. Then, he reached out to Deen’s, repeating the same move.

The heat that burned through him was impossible to ignore.

“Fuckin’ please,” Deen whispered.

“Agreed.” Nico grabbed Deen’s ass and hoisted him against the shower wall. Deen grunted his approval and rolled his head back, wrapping his legs around Nico’s waist. Their hard lengths, slick with shower water, pressed together and slid along each other. The touch was tantalizingly light compared to what Deen wanted.

“Fuck, you’re strong.”

Nico winked. “Comes in handy sometimes.”

Deen squirmed against Nico once more, his erection sliding along the faintly bumpy veins, the rounded head, the thickness of Nico’s shaft. “You gonna do anything about this?”

“I was thinking you’ve got literally nothing else to do. My hands are a little full.”

“Fair point.”

Deen kept one arm around Nico’s neck and slid the other hand between them, groping for their dicks and squeezing them together in his hand. He could barely fit them in his grip, but just pressing the sensitive undersides together was already ten times better.

“That’s it,” Nico growled, rolling his hips slowly against Deen’s to push further into the tight grip.

Deen responded with a jerk of his own hips, and then they found a rhythm somehow to push their cocks together between their bodies, and in Deen’s hand.

Nico gasped. “Mmm. Yeah. Never did this before. Except as foreplay, for three seconds, before I got impatient.”

“Aww. There’s pills to help that,” Deen couldn’t stop himself retorting.

Thank God Nico had a sense of humor. He snorted, then shifted Deen in his arms so he could slap his ass. “Cheeky bastard.”

Deen shuddered in pleasure. “You can do that anytime.”

“Hm?” Nico’s eyes crinkled in amusement. “I might have to, if you don’t watch your mouth.”

“That would be a shame,” Deen whispered. He gritted his teeth with pleasure as Nico crushed him against the wall and buried his lips into his neck.

The sensitive spots along his neck and ear that he’d forgotten about were easy for Nico to pick out. Nico’s warm, full lips found his earlobe and sucked gently. When the tip of his tongue firmly flicked across it, back and forth, Jesus fuck. It was like having his lips around his nipple, and Nico knew it.

“Yes!” Deen gasped. “Oh, fuck. Nico. Jesus.”

Nico chuckled throatily. “You like that?” he breathed out across the warm, sensitive skin. “Oh, I can feel you do. Your dick’s so hard. Feels amazing…”

“Nnnnh.” Deen bit his tongue, but he pulled his hand away and couldn’t stop the noise that keened from his throat a moment later. Nico started thrusting against him, trapping their cocks between their stomachs.

Nico had fucking stamina on his side, that was for sure. He didn’t seem the slightest bit tired.

Deen was gonna get off with frottage alone, and he couldn’t wait. Already, the pleasure was tingling in his fingers, and he couldn’t hold on tightly enough around Nico’s shoulders.

“Yes!” Nico breathed out. “Oh, God. Deen. I’m gonna come.”

“You better,” Deen smirked, but he didn’t have that much energy to tease him. After all, he could feel his own orgasm crashing toward him, unavoidable even if he’d wanted to hold out. “Please. You’ve got me right here, baby,” he whispered, burying his face in Nico’s neck and digging his nails into his back.

Nico gulped a last gasp or two of breath before the jerking thrusts turned erratic. “Yes! Deen!”

Deen squirmed, letting his teeth close around Nico’s shoulder to stifle his own cry of pleasure.

His body was so sensitive it fucking hurt after so long without sex, without another person pressing close to him and sharing the glow of orgasm, desperately pumping into him, or squeezing around him, or sucking his cock into their throat, or grabbing the back of his head and pushing their hips into his face…

With every thought, he could only picture Nico doing it. Holy fuck, it made him cry out as he came, shuddering in Nico’s arms. He was still in a rock-solid grip and pinned against the wall as he spurted wet stickiness across both their stomachs. The water streams trickling down their bodies already washed them clean.

The cooling water streams.

“Shit. The hot water,” Nico hissed, seemingly realizing it at the same moment, and just in time. He set Deen on his feet again and turned the knob off.

“Phew. That would have been a mood killer. Or shrinker, you could say,” Deen snickered. He was still leaning on the wall, but his grin felt loopy even to him.

“You all right?”

“More than all right,” Deen breathed out, taking a moment to look the golden-haired Adonis up and down. Considering they hadn’t even hit the usual highlights, he was feeling pretty damn good.

And he was fighting the impulse to crawl into Nico’s bed tonight, which was a whole new level of weird. He definitely didn’t stay the night. He wasn’t that guy.

“You?” he followed up, clearing his throat and taking the towel Nico handed him.

“Good. Real good,” Nico laughed, the sound deep and rich and hollow in the bathroom.

“Mmm. I bet,” Deen winked. “Next time, I show you how many licks it takes to get to the center.”

That had the desired effect: Nico’s brows rose, his cheeks flushed, and his gaze unmistakably flicked to Deen’s lips. “Oh. Yeah. That’s a… that’s… yeah.”

“Speechless?” Deen teased. “Mushy brain? I’ll take the compliment.”

“Hey. I just had a workout. You just sat back and enjoyed it,” Nico accused him, grinning and flicking his towel at him as he opened the main cabin door.

Deen held out his arms in a so what? shrug. “It was your idea, dude.”

“Technically, it was all your idea.”

“Are you complaining?”

“No…” Nico admitted, sliding his sweatpants and t-shirt on.

As much of a shame as it was to cover that glorious body with clothes, that was a good idea.

“Wanna borrow something to get back to your cabin?”

Deen answered before he even thought about it. “Yeah, please.” The identical sweatpants and shirt made him laugh. “Do you just have ten of everything?”

“Uh… yes, actually. It’s practical. I find something I like and buy a lot of it.”

It was practical. Deen thought about all his clothes—he definitely didn’t have two of anything except his favorite CK boxers. Everything was a little big on him, but it fit well enough for the short walk.

“Cool. See you tomorrow morning then, huh?” Deen offered, not sure if he should move in for a good night kiss.

Nico saved him from making the decision by stepping forward and cupping his cheeks in his hands. He pulled him in for one long, slow, gentle kiss before he murmured, “Good night.”

“Night,” Deen breathed out, his head spinning a little again.

Had to be the hot air, and the orgasm, and the… everything.

Not Nico’s touch, his soft lips, the way he held him like something precious, but not like a famous name to score.

Like he saw him.

Deen barely remembered the walk back to the cabin. He kept pressing his fingers against his lips, his gaze a hundred yards away.

What the hell is going on?

11

Nico

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

It was barely daybreak, and Nico would be pissed off about having to show up at this hour for anything. But getting a radio call that there was another picnic bench fire this morning? He’d been hoping to lie in for a bit and think about his wonderful night.

“Sorry, man.” Gregory was broad-shouldered and stern, exactly the kind of guy who looked like he was born to be a park firefighter. “Looks like you’re on double patrol now.”

The fires had spread to his territory. Either there were a few people forgetting how to put out cigarettes on a regular basis or this was one determined arsonist.

“Son of a bitch.”

Nico fiddled with his radio and paced around the ruined benches. It looked like only one had really burned. It was a heap of lumber and ash. Scorched grass around it hadn’t caught fire, probably thanks to the sudden shower last night. The other two were only singed.

“Yeah, it’s not a pretty sight. This mess looks like it’s cooled off now, so the investigator will be along within an hour. In the meantime… have a look-see around.”

Nico started searching the perimeter of the picnic ground for any evidence. No trash or clothing, no signs of homeless people living up here. In his experience, those who did wouldn’t do something stupid like this to their home. It wasn’t drunk kids, judging by the lack of beer cans in the garbage cans nearby. No signs of cigarettes or ashes around, either.

This made the seventh fire in a month, if he was counting correctly, but the first this far into the mountains. To him, together with the lack of reasonable explanations, it was clear-cut arson. And worse, someone getting bolder.

It was stupid and pointless. It wasted funds on rebuilding shit, rather than making cooler shit to do in here. If some local was really that bored, surely they saw that. It put the whole park in danger, and the cities nearby, and biospheres that would never exist anywhere else. The biodiversity of this park was frankly incredible.

Not that the arsonist cared about that.

He fumed as he kicked his way out to the clearing again, shaking his head at Gregory. “Not a sign. Whoever it is, they’re long-gone, and I think it’s deliberate.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

Nico grimaced at him. “I wanted to think it was an accident. A string of them. Some trees, some park benches, some fire pits left burning…”

“You know as well as I do that they’re not,” Gregory shook his head. “Wayne will have his own opinions, no doubt.”

“I usually do,” Wayne called out.

“Shit, man. Your hearing’s superhuman.” Gregory laughed as Wayne approached.

Wayne saluted, then nodded to Nico as he approached the scene of the investigation. “I’ve got it from here. No sign of the perps?”

“Nope, as always,” Nico grumbled. “But I’ll radio the boss in a minute. He’ll probably tell me to double the patrols, like Jeff’s had to do closer to the campgrounds.”

That meant less time wandering around with Deen. After the night they’d had, this was the last thing he wanted.

He radioed in. “Dispatch, hope you’re having a better day than me.”

“Sounds like it. I got coffee and a good book, so go ahead.”

Nico grinned. “Wow, man. A one-two punch there. So, I went to check out that park bench fire. Three benches burned. They’re all cooled off now, and Wayne’s here to investigate the causes. I didn’t see any signs of an accident, or of people around, or… anything.”

“Copy that. Gregory’s still on site?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Nico paced back and forth along the short section of trail in front of the picnic site entrance. “Will I have any luck getting through to Drew? Am I gonna like what he says?”

“Almost definitely, and almost definitely not, in that order. Give me a few minutes to get in touch with him.”

“Thanks, Kathy. You’re a star.” Nico chewed on the side of his thumb for a moment, then kicked at the path before scuffing with his heel to even out the trail cover again.

Fucking idiots.

His cellphone went off, which was unexpected. Coverage was pretty shit up here, hence the need for radios and dispatchers for park rangers to keep in touch and request backup. But the signals had gotten better over the last few years as the local utilities installed towers closer to the edge of the park.

It was a text, from Deen.

Should I be worried?

He smiled and tapped out a quick response.

Nah. At upper picnic area. Arson last night. Cell signal bad, will let you know when I’m free.

It took a few minutes of him wandering back and forth before that message sent. His radio crackled with the news: double patrol was in his immediate future, until the arson stopped or the idiot was caught.

Awesome. It wasn’t so much that he cared about having to be outside more. Interacting with park guests was fine with him, and it gave him more chance to spot illegal dumping, list upcoming repairs, and so on. He liked his work.

But it was boring, grunt work when Deen was here to explore exciting things.

Fuck. I went from not wanting to have to babysit Deen to…

Well, inviting him in last night. Giving into temptation. Kissing him, those soft lips, as the addiction to Deen settled into his bones. Showering with him. Frotting against him. Pleasing him.

Nico’s mind settled on the one phrase that made sense: To wanting Deen.

It was a want that made him feel even stupider than this pointless arsonist. He knew someone was gonna get his heart broken, and it was probably going to be him when Deen left.

But for now? For now, Deen wanted him, too. Nico wasn’t going to walk away first.

12

Deen

“Knock knock.” The cabin door slowly opened, and Nico poked his head in.

Deen lit up with a grin and pushed himself to his feet. “Hey! You’re back from the bonfire. Did you toast marshmallows?”

“Ha ha.” Nico rolled his eyes and stepped inside, closing the door. Immediately, his eyes wandered to the table. “What’s all that?”

“My plan for where else to go. I was looking at other people’s photos of the park on Instagram to get ideas.”

“Uh huh.” As Nico sat perpendicular to him, Deen sat down again and pushed the map aside. He resisted the temptation to run his toes up Nico’s leg. “So, fires? Someone mentioned that before to me. Is it deliberate?”

Nico grimaced. “Yes. We’re certain of that. Probably the same person, but it’s impossible to tell for sure.”

“Why? Dumb kids?”

“I thought so at first, but they’re taking it pretty far. They’re all the way up here now. That’s not a drive-by, like the ones by the campgrounds. That’s someone hiking in here.”

A shiver ran down Deen’s spine. “Are we in danger?”

“No.” Nico’s response was immediate, and he reached out to rest a hand on Deen’s. “They’ve never gone after any buildings. Just trees and benches and stupid shit. They had plenty of opportunity, too. That lends credence to the dumb kids theory rather than the wannabe arsonist theory.”

“Okay,” Deen breathed a sigh of relief. Still, he wasn’t ruling out packing a bag with his laptop and important shit before he went to bed every night.

Just in case.

“So I’m gonna be on double patrol until further notice.” Nico seemed to realize his hand was still on Deen’s and pulled it back quickly. He cleared his throat and rearranged the maps to straighten them out on the table. “I’ll have to leave for one… pretty much now.”

“That means a lot of time wandering around looking for troublemakers?”

“Pretty much.”

“Sweet. Can I come?”

Nico blinked at him a few times. “What? You want to? It’s boring as hell, and very occasionally dangerous.”

Deen’s attention was caught. “Dangerous? If you catch the arsonist at work?”

“Or plural. And in other ways—sometimes people come here armed. North Carolina and Tennessee have different concealed carry laws. And some people don’t like being told they can’t litter, trample over protected areas, or, yes, start malicious fires.”

Somehow, Deen had never considered that aspect of the job. Rangers seemed like benevolent figures to him—protectors and interpreters of the kind of real nature he didn’t understand and didn’t want to cross.

“I’ll record one. Kind of like the reality shows that follow cops, you know?”

“Park law enforcement have a lot more interesting jobs than me. I’m just supposed to do what I can and call in backup, you know?” Nico was self-deprecating as usual, playing it cool, but Deen wasn’t going to stop being impressed.

“It’d make an interesting subject for people. Might get people’s attention, you know? Especially teens who might not realize the consequences.”

Nico considered it, folding his arms over his chest and rocking back in the chair for a moment before he set all four legs on the ground again. “That means I’d be on camera, doesn’t it?”

“Why are you against it?” To Deen, it didn’t really make sense. Some people didn’t want to be seen around him because they had sensitive jobs—teachers, for example, whose kids’ parents might think a rock star was a bad influence, even indirectly. Other people avoided social media, but Nico didn’t sound like a hermit.

Oh. Shit. Was he in the closet? At least partly? It fit with his big, buff man’s man image.

“Just don’t like it,” Nico said simply. “Coming?”

I don’t do closets. No how, no way.

Pushing away the troubled clouds of his thoughts, Deen nodded, forced a big grin, and grabbed his camera. “Ready.”

* * *

“The sound guy came to apologize afterward. Turned out he was eating a sandwich! Bryan was pissed. I thought he was going to throw his Coke can at him. Plus, a sandwich? Over the mixer?” They’d been patrolling for an hour or so now, mostly sticking to the paths. Deen had been naturally inclined to fill the silence.

Nico laughed quietly. “But most people didn’t notice, did they?”

“Yeah. Unless you’re a music nerd, like me, the difference is really subtle. And it was only on the bridge of that one song.” Nico was watching him with a funny expression. “What?”

“Nothing.”

Deen hummed, then deliberately shut off the camera, making sure Nico saw. “Are you sure?”

Nico glanced down at it, then up at his face. “I was just thinking you’re cute when you get worked up.”

There we go. Nico was still shy about being recorded, which Deen understood but easily forgot. “Yeah?”

“I like seeing people get… passionate about something. Whatever their thing is. Everyone has that one thing, you know?”

A shiver ran down Deen’s spine. He could have said that exact sentence. “That’s… it, isn’t it? Way better than a hundred boring fake-cool people who don’t get overexcited about anything.”

“Yes!” Nico touched his shoulder. “Exactly.”

Deen gazed at Nico for a few moments. He couldn’t stop himself wondering more about him—what lay under that cool, calm, collected ranger mask.

His passion for the park and protecting the biodiversity within had already shown through, but how had he grown up? Did he visit town most weekends, or was this really how he lived, with only occasional supply runs? He had a hundred questions all of a sudden.

“Now what?” Nico retorted, grinning.

“I think you’re cute all the time,” Deen responded and winked.

Nico snorted with amusement and shoved his shoulder into Deen’s, then grabbed him and steered him onto another trail as they reached the intersection. Being manhandled instead of verbally directed made Deen flush with heat.

Calm down, cowboy. Not while he’s at work. Deen cleared his throat. “Seriously, though, I’m curious.”

“About?”

“You. Where’d you grow up? Do you have family nearby?” It was kind of sneaky. He almost felt bad asking this way, because he had an ulterior motive for doing so.

“Yeah, I do. I grew up in Knoxville,” Nico told him. “You?” Exactly the closed-off response Deen had been afraid of.

“Me? Yeah, not nearby. Mostly in the northeast, but I grew up in upstate New York.”

“That must be hard,” Nico said. “Are you close to them?”

“Yeah. I spend Christmas with them, and I try to get back a couple times a year, at least. But I travel all over.” Deen was keenly aware that it wasn’t making him sound like a catch of a boyfriend, either. “I could get back more often, but that’s about as much contact as we need. Skype takes care of the rest.”

Nico shot him an amused look. As they rounded the corner, Deen realized they were back at their cabins. “Oh! Is that it?”

“For now. I’ll have lunch, then head out—probably on the ATV—to check out more than I can on foot.”

Deen nodded. “Then I’ll start editing this together.” He patted his camera. Not a lot of action, but he’d gotten Nico to hold the camera and film him while he explained what they were doing, and why it was necessary.

It was foolish to get his hopes up that the arsonists were fans of him, or even knew about him, let alone were likely to see his videos. He wasn’t that naive. But Deen had hope that people somewhere would learn the impact of their actions on the wilderness.

Don’t get lofty ideas, he reminded himself. It was the same with his music: he set out to entertain. If he changed people and saved lives along the way, as he’d been told he’d done, it was a great thing… but it couldn’t be his goal.

And if he wound up coming back to see Nico, if they turned out to want more, it would be great, but he couldn’t count on it.

One day at a time.

13

Nico

“Deen?” Nico cracked the cabin door, brow furrowed as he scanned the room and the bunk beds.

Nope. Definitely no sign of the man. Not stepping out of a cold shower, in need of warming up… not that he’d been hoping for that.

Nico sighed and backed out of the cabin, closing the door behind himself again. He scanned the path as if the trees would give him some clue as to which way Deen went. Hopefully he was being sensible and sticking to the paths, at least. And not pushing himself. He was in good shape, but he wasn’t used to hiking for days on end.

Since lunch yesterday, Deen hadn’t sought him out like usual. Nico was strongly opposed to drama and assumptions, but he was starting to worry that Deen hadn’t even sought him out to hit on him last night, or let him know where he was going that morning.

Was it his turn to pursue Deen and let him know he was still interested? Was this part of dating? Or should he give Deen distance to see if this was a lasting attraction and not… well, boredom?

Nico was at a disadvantage here. Fuck, he hadn’t dated in so long that he felt utterly clueless.

He’d loved that encounter in the shower. God, it was the hottest thing he’d ever done. All that vanilla missionary sex seemed boring in comparison. He had the feeling that if they did it again, Deen had even more creative ideas.

They’d been flirting ever since, but not openly. Deen wasn’t trying to get in his pants the same way he had been before, and that was almost worrying. It could mean he wanted to let him down gently, or it could just mean he wanted to take things slowly…

There was no point in speculating without data. All Nico knew was that the prospect of not having Deen around—either for the day or, in a few weeks’ time, ever again—was filling him with a kind of tense, angry energy that wound his shoulders into knots. He had to burn that energy off before it settled into the old, familiar ache.

He grabbed his tool kit and headed off to the noticeboard near the head of the nearby trail. Some punk had pulled the plastic cover off the notices section, snapping it in two, and one of the posts had been slowly rotting for some time. Simple fixes, now that he had the materials.

The impact driver cut down on the waiting time to take out every screw and brace holding the noticeboard to its posts. It was rough going, though. He had to lean into it carefully so it didn’t jerk his arm around too much.

“Jesus!” The screw came out into his hand, but on the other end, the bracket slid out of the rotted pole. He had to grab it fast, one-handed, and overhanded to keep it from crushing his foot.

The worst combination possible. His shoulder wrenched as he bore the weight, and he gritted his teeth hard and crouched to lower it to the ground, trying to keep his shoulder still.

Fucking thing. Ninety-five percent of the time it worked just fine. The remaining time, in very specific movements, it utterly fucked up.

Surgery hadn’t fixed it, and he wasn’t sure it ever would. He’d had the best care possible after the shuttle landed; his surgeon had been world-class. It worked well enough now that he could pass the park rangers’ fitness test, if not the Space Agency’s. And that was after being told he might never have full range of motion again.

It still grated. Every time it wrenched the wrong way, the flood of memories came back.

“Nico! There you are.”

Oh, no. Not now.

“You all right?” Deen’s perkiness faded, replaced by concern in his voice. “Need a hand?”

“Wrenched my shoulder.” Nico kept his voice steady so as not to alarm him. “Board just fell off the goddamn rotted post.”

“Shit. Do you need medical help?” Deen sucked in his breath and crouched by him, resting his hand on his knee.

“No. Every so often it happens. Rest, ice, naproxen. Old injury.”

“Oh, fuck,” Deen murmured. “Here, let me help get this back up. Or just leave it down. They can bend over if they wanna read it.”

Nico cracked a smile despite himself. “Dirty bastard.”

“Hey, that one was all you!” Deen grinned and shoved him, but he slid his arm around Nico’s waist and rose to his feet, encouraging him up, too.

Nico pushed Deen away lightly after he stood. “I’m fine. I’m good.”

Deen held up his hands, but he eyed Nico closely. “Come on, let’s go get painkillers, then.”

Nico’s lips twitched into a smile. Deen was in full-on mother hen mode. It was kind of sweet, actually. “I’ve managed just fine with this shoulder for years.”

“Old injury, huh?” Deen clicked his tongue with sympathy. “I’ve screwed up my fingers before, with music. When was that?”

“I dunno, doesn’t your Wikipedia page say?” Nico’s lips twitched into another smile.

Deen laughed and bumped hips. “Asshole. I mean yours.”

My Wikipedia page sure as hell says. Nico took a breath to say it, but then, at the last moment, he chickened out.

Of course Deen already knew. He must have Googled him, right? But he didn’t want to face those questions yet.

“Right before I started this job. Career injury.”

“Jesus. I’m sorry. What career?”

Looks like I’m answering them anyway. Nico delayed as long as he could, looking around at the trees as they approached the clearing where his cabin stood. “Space Agency.”

Deen physically recoiled with surprise. “Huh?”

“Yep. You need peak physical fitness for any position there.”

“What about this, though?”

“I’m good enough to pass the test. As long as I’m not grabbing something heavy overhead and yanking it just the wrong way—like a falling noticeboard—I’m fine.” Nico tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice, but it crept in. He added a quick sigh. “Sorry.”

“No, I get it.” Deen patted his back lightly, then leaned on the table while Nico got painkillers and water. “You need anything?”

“Just a nap while these kick in.”

“I’ll make something for supper.” Deen opened his kitchen cupboards to peek inside, then nodded. “Yeah, I can do that without even borrowing the ATV and figuring out the way to town.”

“Are you particularly skilled at heating up a tin of beans?”

“And toast. Baby, I can toast toast like nobody else. It rarely even burns. Ignore the smell of burnt toast in the mornings.”

Nico smiled again. He might as well let Deen take care of him. It had been so long since anyone had tried that he’d forgotten it felt kind of nice. “Appreciate it.”

“Then, tonight, a beer. You’re definitely not supposed to combine that with painkillers, but I’ve never keeled over yet. Sometimes my fingers fuck up, and… well…”

“You don’t,” Nico gasped.

“I totally do. Makes ’em work faster.”

“Despite what the box says?” Nico huffed and waved Deen off, carefully, with his other hand. “We’ll talk about that later. Dumbass.”

“I am,” Deen agreed and winked. “Bad to the bone: mixing Tylenol and beer. See you in a while.”

Once the door closed, Nico sank onto the bed. He waited for a few minutes, refusing to admit to himself that what he was actually doing was waiting to see if Deen would join him in bed. Just to cuddle.

Goddamn, who was he turning into?

He yanked off his clothing as carefully as he could and slid under the covers as the first buzz of the double dose kicked in. Once the pillow was adjusted around his shoulder, he was out like a light.

14

Deen

“Rules are there for a reason. If this beer kills me, it’s your fault.”

“Rules are there to cover someone else’s ass. They may or may not do shit for you.” Deen took a long drag from his beer and scooted around on the ground. He tried to find a spot in the hollow ground where the log behind them didn’t dig into his back.

Nico huffed a sigh and shook his head at him. “And you wonder why you’re always getting yourself into trouble.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Get into trouble?” Nico looked skeptical. No, strike that—he looked incredulous. “You’re saying you don’t?”

Deen laughed richly at that expression. “Oh, hell, no. I do. But I don’t wonder why. It’s my goal in life. If I’m not in trouble, I’m not doing it right.”

“You’re trouble.” Nico’s shoulder—the good one—was warm and solid against his, so Deen leaned in and rested his head there.

“And you love it. How’s the shoulder doing now?”

“It’s calmed down, as long as I don’t aggravate it.” Nico’s shoulder shifted under Deen’s cheek as he raised the beer to his lips. His other hand rested loosely in his lap. “Or raise my arms for the next few days. At least it’s not my dominant arm.”

“I was about to say, shame it isn’t.”

“What?” Nico sounded indignant.

“I could help with… things…” Deen winked. “But don’t worry. When I tie you down and suck you off, I’ll tie your hands at waist-level.” He bit back the mischievous smirk and tried to get a glimpse of Nico’s reaction in his peripheral vision.

Nico’s gasp was short and sharp. “Jesus. No filter, Deen.”

“None needed. Who’s around to care?”

They were alone in the woods—some Scouts and a few hikers had passed by that day, but nobody was pitching a tent in the woods up here. Except maybe them, if Deen played his cards right.

“Good point,” Nico murmured. He shifted until his head rolled back against the log. “I love that we can see the Milky Way in the summer here. Come back in a month and it’ll be even clearer.”

That drove home a thought Deen didn’t want to focus on, so he changed the subject. Sort of. “Got a call from Bryan today.”

“Oh?”

“The label’s putting a lot of pressure on him to start developing a new album with me. Hell, even my fans are getting antsy for one, they’re saying. Mind you, the label will say anything to get me to produce more shit they can sell. Wait, I don’t mean it’s shit, I mean…”

Nico laughed. “I know what you mean.”

“More products.” Deen grumbled under his breath. He never felt fully comfortable with it, as much as he indulged in his fame. In the back of his head, he was still just a kid screwing around with a microphone and an electric guitar, trying to entertain people.

“You’re used to handling fame, though,” Nico murmured, absently. It was almost to himself more than Deen.

“Yeah?” Deen murmured, tilting his head and sitting up straight to look at Nico.

Nico’s head was still back, his gaze through the stars, like he was looking at something too far, or too fast-moving, for Deen to follow. “There’s a reason I don’t like being online.”

“You don’t want fame?” That was the opposite of most people Deen had met. Except, the thought occurred to him just now…

“I’ve had it. I don’t like it. Not the kind you did, not from my own talent, but being the face of others’ hard work. At my last job. Did you, uh… It sounds so vain, but did you Google me?”

Deen burst out laughing. “Oh, my God.”

Nico groaned in frustration. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to sound—”

“No, no. It’s not that. It’s just… I’ve had to try not to say that before, too. On blind dates. Back when I was trying to date like a normal person.” Whoa. He hadn’t meant that to sound so bitter.

Nico’s gaze slid from the sky to him. His head was tilted gently as he watched Deen. Then, he drew a breath. “I got this injury on a spacewalk.”

“A…” Deen couldn’t compute that for a moment.

“I was an astronaut. In space. Living on the Space Station.” Most people probably didn’t believe him, because he quickly added, “Google my name.”

Deen shook his head slightly. He’d said that before, himself, when people didn’t think he was a successful musician. “I believe you.” It made sense: everything clicked into place. “So, uh… did the injury…”

“Sidelined me,” Nico murmured, his body tensing up.

Deen winced. “Sorry.”

“It’s for the best. I had surgery as fast as they’d let me, and then a revision. They got my shoulder in mostly working order, but they’d never have let me go on another mission anyway. Then I wanted… a change. So anyway, that’s why I’m here.”

Was forced into a change, more like. But Deen wasn’t rubbing that in.

Yes, it was motherfucking awesome to find out that Nico was even cooler than he’d imagined. He had so many questions now about living in space. But they’d also gone a week without sharing more intimacy than this, and he had to know…

“This is a little out of the blue, but, uh… are you still interested in me?”

Nico made a startled, choked sound. “I—you—what?”

“Don’t feel pressured. We can hang out like this if you’d rather.”

“Shut up,” Nico scoffed. “Of course I want you. You couldn’t pressure me into doing a thing I didn’t want to.”

Deen grinned. That was one of the things he loved about Nico. Despite his weird adherence to things like rules, he was stubborn as hell when he reached a line.

“I just, uh…” Nico’s voice shifted, became more anxious. “I didn’t know how to have that conversation. Doesn’t that sound dumb? Since joining the Space Agency, I sort of stopped having a real life. And I haven’t really dated since moving out into the woods like a hermit…”

Oh, God. Nico had been waiting for him to make another move. Bless him. Deen bit back a smile and wrapped his arm around Nico’s waist. “Babe, it’s easy. Just tell me if you want us to be friends, or… more.”

“I don’t like that word.”

Deen blinked. “What word? Babe? Sorry.”

“No. Keep saying that,” Nico told him, and it sounded more like an order in that rough, muted voice. “More. Like this isn’t important.”

Deen sucked in a quiet breath.

Did Nico feel the same stirring of… something, the same indefinable and indescribable shift around them when they were together? Was he as afraid of losing it as Deen already was?

“I know what you mean,” Deen murmured. He was almost afraid to let his voice shatter the stillness around them. “I’ve… I’ve really had fun, these couple weeks. You have no idea.”

“You’ve seemed like it. You’ve relaxed a lot since I first met you. That you was all wound up and trying to impress me like you were on stage. This you is… well, I like this you.”

Deen swallowed hard. Oh, my God. No way. No, he’s not proposing marriage, shut up. Just take it a step at a time. He sounded breathless, his voice a few notes higher than it should be when he breathed out, “Me too. I mean, you’ve only ever been you from the start, but that’s really nice. A lot of people go… well, you know. Star-crazy.”

Nico chuckled quietly. “I can imagine.”

“And you not putting up with my bullshit is actually really refreshing.” Deen laughed.

Nico snorted, too. “I look forward to continued pin-sticking in your ego.”

“Speaking of sticking things in me…” Deen smirked. His eyes really had adjusted. Nico’s blush was easy to see in this semi-darkness.

“I liked what we did,” Nico murmured. “I’d like more.”

Deen kept his arm around Nico’s waist, and he reached over with his other hand, running it up Nico’s knee and thigh toward his hip. “You were so fucking bold once you got going.”

“I’m out of practice, not shy.” Nico met his gaze, and there it was: the spark between them, and no turning back now.

Fuck. You couldn’t produce chemistry like this with a team of record label managers.

Deen licked his lips, then let his hand run from Nico’s hip to his groin, resting on his cock. “Would you let me?”

“Let you?” Nico laughed breathlessly. “Baby, I’d let you all night long. I can’t believe…”

“What?”

“Nothing. Shut up and kiss me.”

Deen had never been so happy to follow an order. Nico’s lips were warm, rough, demanding. They pressed just hard enough to draw mutual gasps.

Perfect.

His lips were perfect, and Deen was in danger of falling head-over-heels for a man he’d known for just two weeks.

They always say when you meet the one, you’ll know.

Running his tongue along Nico’s lips, sucking gently, Deen closed his fingers around the small metal tab. He tugged gently but fast, as if pulling down one zipper could zip up another and hold back that thought.

But it wasn’t going back in the box.

15

Nico

Deen’s lips were like heaven. No, that phrase fell pitifully short of a reality so much better, yet unknowable to millions. Memories for Nico now, but memories he hadn’t touched in years.

They were the mantle of stars cradling the Space Station in the upper reaches of the earth’s atmosphere, and calling to its few residents—fairy lights that belied the vast emptiness and danger of the interlying space.

They were the glow of the sun setting over and over every day, sixteen times a day, as blues faded to reds and pink halos around the earth, and often the moon following in its wake.

They were the glow of the nighttime earth underneath, the cities lit up in millions of clustered pinpricks as their inhabitants danced or slept the nights away.

As Nico pressed close to him, he breathed in that faint natural scent. He’d grown used to it now that Deen had stopped using stupid scented products.

That was it—the reason these memories were surfacing now. Not just admitting, at last, where he’d come from, what he’d done. That in itself could stir up memories.

But it was more. He felt that same sense of wholeness he’d felt looking down on the earth from above. Until now, the only thing he’d done that had come close was come here, hide in the woods he’d seen vanishing from above, and try to make a difference in some small way.

Deen made him want to do more—be more—again. And it was terrifying, but the joy and zest he had for life was addictive.

Right now, Deen’s hand was sliding through the unzipped fly, his fingertips trailing along Nico’s hardening shaft in a mercifully and blissfully distracting way.

No more thoughts of then. It’s over. Hell, he didn’t know what Deen wanted to do about this growing flame between them, either. All he had was here and now, and he was going to damn well enjoy it.

“Yes,” Nico breathed into the darkness, closing his eyes. He heard clothes rustle, and then felt the weight of Deen’s legs sliding over his own. Deen straddled him now. One soft hand cupped his cheek, rasping against the bristles on his jaw.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long,” Deen whispered.

Nico managed a quick chuckle. For Deen, used to flitting from city to city and bed to bed, perhaps these few weeks had felt long. For him, it was nothing compared to the stretch of a month or a season, or a year in the woods.

But he wanted to experience Deen’s pace of life, if only for a few more weeks. Or, more to the point, he didn’t want to waste a minute. “If you want to fuck…”

Deen’s shiver went through his whole body. “Oh, God. There’s temptation.” His fingers curled around the shaft, his thumb running around the button of Nico’s jeans.

“You’re temptation,” Nico breathed out, bracing himself with his good hand to lean up and capture Deen’s lips in another hard kiss. “Watching you in your tight fuckin’ jeans… or your gaudy fuckin’ yoga pants…”

“They’re modern hiking wear.”

“Yoga pants.” Nico beamed as Deen flicked his nipple through his shirt. “Nnh. Sorry. Outdoor yoga pants.”

“Shut up, Mr. I Only Wear National Parks Service-Approved Beige.”

Nico had never laughed this hard with another man’s hand around his dick. But with Deen, even though they weren’t fucking—yet, and he’d like to—it was fun.

His laugh trailed off when Deen popped open the button on his pants and slid his hand into his underwear. “Oh, fuck.” He was hardening fast, Deen’s palm running down his shaft and around the tip to skillfully bring him up to speed on the plan. “O-kay then.”

“I’d be in bed with you already, but I don’t want to fuck up your shoulder,” Deen breathed out.

When Nico tried to speak and protest that he was well enough, Deen pressed a finger over his lips. It startled him into silence.

“And second,” he whispered, running that finger across Nico’s lips, then under his chin, then teasing at his earlobe, “I want to taste you. I wanna look up into your eyes while you writhe with pleasure here on the ground. Right here. Outside. Because I can’t wait a second longer. I wanna fuck you, and I wanna feel your cock in me, too, but not tonight. Tonight, I’m sucking your dick.”

Nico couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. His brain was firing on all cylinders and then some—in overdrive. All he could think was yes and want and please, and in some order, those were the words that tumbled from his lips.

“Aha,” Deen whispered, sidling down on his knees as he eased Nico’s length free of all that goddamn restrictive beige. “That’s how to get that big brain of yours turned off, and this big downstairs brain turned on.”

“You’re a dirty little…” Nico managed but trailed off, his mouth dry. “I don’t even… Jesus.” He’s good. He’s so much better than me! Practice makes perfect? I’ll have to practice for him, even if I clog the drain.

But Deen was smirking up at him, his breath hot against the tip of his dick. “Tell me what you want,” he whispered, then kissed the shaft from base to tip in slow, sucking, open-mouthed caresses of tongue and lips. “I wanna hear it.”

“I—I want your mouth. That filthy fucking mouth of yours. I want you sucking my cock, Deen. Your lips…”

“Cock-sucking lips?” Deen prompted, sensing his hesitation and urging him on. “Oh, you’re right, they are. You wanna see how right?”

“Yes,” Nico breathed out, trying to curtail the whimper at the end of that breath. “Please…”

And then that skilled tongue was swirling around the head like a goddamn ice cream cone.

“Deen. Oh, God,” Nico breathed out, and he gulped back the cry of pleasure. Those lips tightly closed around the head and sucked all the way down to the base of the shaft in one smooth motion.

Deen twisted his head as he pulled up again, then pushed down, sliding the length along his tongue the whole time, and the heaven simile was back.

This was…

“So good,” Nico moaned, remembering to speak. If Deen liked it, he’d goddamn buy a dirty language dictionary and practice that, too. “Hot and wet.”

His length was throbbing already, his toes curling into the ground as he tried not to thrust into Deen’s mouth.

Deen moaned, his hand curling around the shaft and stroking as he pulled his mouth off it. He kissed along the wet skin in bursts of heat against cooling skin.

His eyes flickered up to meet Nico’s, and the hunger in them made Nico’s carefully-planned words vanish again. “Deen.”

“You’re fucking gorgeous, Nico. I hope you know how hot you are.”

Nico tried not to blush, but his whole body was already burning, so chances were good it was much too late. “I… uh.” He stuttered for a second.

“And your dick is gorgeous.” Deen lapped along it once more for show, sucking on that spot right where foreskin met shaft. “I want it in my mouth more often.”

“Nnh!” His hips bucked forward as his brain short-circuited, desperate for more of the heat and tightness of a minute ago. “Th-Thanks. Yeah. You can… anytime.”

“Any time?” Deen winked mischievously, then sucked the head into the tight ring of his lips again, cutting off Nico’s response.

All Nico could do was tangle his fingers in the hair at the back of his head and desperately try not to fuck his mouth.

Deen covered Nico’s hand with his own and pushed his head down hard on Nico’s cock.

Is he…?

“I… I want to fuck your m—” Deen was already nodding. “Mouth? Yeah?”

Deen rested both hands on Nico’s hips and held still, crouching over him so obediently.

He likes being in charge, but he likes it when I’m gruff and take-charge, too, doesn’t he? The realization was abrupt, but it gave Nico the idea. He took a deep breath, then gripped Deen’s head and pushed it down to the base of his shaft, slowly, to make sure he was okay. “You like that?”

“Mmhmmm.” Deen nodded slightly, his breathing through his nose harsh.

Nico’s head spun with pleasure. He held Deen’s head steady, his fingers tight in his hair, pushing his hips up into his mouth in quick, sharp thrusts. “You want me ordering you around? Making you suck me?”

“Mmm!”

Jesus. He wasn’t going to hold out long with this sight. Jerk-off material for years. “Fuckin’ gorgeous. You look beautiful like that. Cock-sucking lips,” Nico breathed out.

His swollen, pink shaft could only take so much sliding across the wet heat of Deen’s lips and tongue. The suction around him made orgasm prickle at him already, but he could already tell it was going to blow his mind.

“I’m so… fuck…” He let go of Deen’s hair, cupping his cheek for a second. “Gonna come, baby. I gotta.”

Deen’s hand slid up his shaft again as his mouth slid off. “Grab my hair again. I told you I wanna taste you. Come on. Take me. Fuck me. I need you, baby.”

Nico’s thighs shook with the effort it took not to just finish then and there. He grabbed with both hands now, pushing against the back of Deen’s head, hard and fast. Deen’s moans and grunts of approval were almost lost in his own.

“Yes!”

Nothing else existed now but Deen’s mouth around his cock, Deen’s throat squeezing around the head, and the pleasure that ripped through every muscle in his body. It felt like a fucking tidal wave, and it was shooting straight down Deen’s throat.

Nico’s thrusts turned erratic, slowed, and finally he felt the last drops trickle as his cock started to soften again. He let go of Deen’s hair, but Deen gently sucked his way up to the tip and back down a few more times, lapping him clean.

Not that he was going to feel clean for days. He felt filthy and he loved it. Deen’s encouragement only made him want to try more, say more, try to shock him right back.

“Climb on.”

“What?” Deen whispered, catching his breath and wiping the back of his hand across his mouth. As he straightened up, it was easy to see the tent pressing against his stretchy, and goddamn ugly, outdoor wear.

“Your turn.” Nico rolled his head back against the log slowly, licking his lips and opening his mouth to make it clear what he meant.

Deen’s lips parted in a quick gasp. “I… yeah, but I was treating you—”

“Shut up and get your dick in me. I don’t have all night.”

That was a lie. He had all night. He wanted this all night.

Deen scrambled to his feet and yanked down his pants and underwear, his cock springing free.

Speaking of gorgeous.

“God, I bet that tastes good,” Nico whispered. He was delighted to see the surprise, moment of embarrassment, and then joy in Deen’s eye.

Deen growled. “You filthy—I love it.” For half a second, he’d thought Deen was about to say something else.

Then Deen stepped forward, resting his weight against one knee on the log, pressing the tip of his cock to Nico’s lips.

Nico still remembered how this worked. He relaxed his throat, pulled his lips tight around the head, licked it in his best slow, teasing laps.

But Deen wasn’t in the mood for slow or teasing, and neither was Nico, even though the orgasm was dulling his reaction times.

“Yes,” Deen whimpered as Nico sucked the head of his own magnificent shaft into his mouth. “Oh, fuck.”

It was Nico’s turn, and his body remembered exactly what to do. He bobbed his head slowly, taking in the shaft inch by inch until he got it all the way to his throat. He didn’t even need a hand around the base.

“Someone’s perfected his gag reflex.”

Large box of popsicles, too-small freezer, long day alone, Nico wanted to tell him, but his mouth was a bit full.

“Oh, my God. You’re so hot,” Deen moaned, and his hand ran through Nico’s hair before gripping hard. “I’m gonna come so fast,” he laughed breathlessly. “Watching you come? Jesus. Did I already say you’re fucking hot? Because I would tape you and watch that every night. Don’t you dare waste another load in that shower, I tell you.”

Nico almost choked with laughter. He let his tongue lap along every ridge and vein in the stiff length that was sliding in and out. Then, he closed his hands around Deen’s hips and grunted, stopping the movements of his head.

Deen took the clue and took over, gripping his cheeks between his palms as he thrust. “Yes! Oh, fuck. Oh, I’m almost—I’m seriously… I’m gonna… just a minute, baby.”

Too soon. Nico wanted that musk in his nostrils, the blood pumping under his lips, the salty taste invading his tongue, for so much longer: all night.

Wet warmth across his tongue, and hard thrusts, and Deen gasping his name into the quiet symphony of the night forest.

And then Deen was softening, sliding free, stumbling against him.

Nico grabbed his arm with his good hand. He guided Deen to sit in his lap as they pulled up their pants and tucked in again.

Then, Deen slid his arms around Nico’s neck, his nose resting in the curve between his neck and shoulder, utterly boneless.

Nico had never had such good sex in his life, and it didn’t even scare him to think that now.

I loved this. With him. I might love him.

He wrapped his arms around Deen’s back and cradled him against his body, hugging him close and breathing in his scent.

Nico could have fallen asleep like this, Deen sprawled on top of him and lightly stroking the hair at his nape with his thumb. But the dangers of being unconscious outside overnight, unprepared, even if they were close to the cabins, made him stir Deen when Deen started to drift off.

“Hm?”

“I said, we should get inside.”

“Don’t go.” It was half-breathed, as if Deen hadn’t even meant him to hear it.

In two simple syllables, Nico’s chest was tight, his heart pounding. Maybe… despite everyone he fucks, everyone who loves him, he’s lonelier than me. “You’re staying with me tonight. Hot shower tomorrow.”

Deen relaxed in his arms and hummed in quiet agreement, then pushed himself slowly to his feet and offered Nico a hand.

“I’m fine,” Nico scoffed, but he took it, letting Deen pull him to his feet with surprising strength.

“You’re more than fine. You’re so fine you blow my mind. And my cock.” Deen giggled, then stumbled over the roots in the path.

Nico wrapped an arm around him and let the laugh bubble in his chest until it escaped. “You’re drunk on that orgasm.”

“I am. It was a good one.” Deen was a bit too loud, as if trying to distract Nico, and Nico let it work.

Still, as they tumbled into his bed together, as Nico pulled Deen into his chest and pressed his lips against the back of his neck, he had one thought only on his mind.

I won’t go.

16

Deen

“I see how it is. You just wanted to leech my power. You’re already here every other day to charge your cameras and your laptop and God knows what else. I’ll need another solar array just for you.”

Deen perked up as Nico’s voice floated from the bedroom doorway. All his gadgets were plugged into most of the available outlets. “You’re in serious danger of cranky old hermit man territory,” he warned him.

“I’ll keep that in mind. If I say it with a smile, will that help?”

“Always,” he told him, pushing himself off the worn old couch and moving to the table, where most of his devices were stacked. “What’s the fee? A blowjob per full charge? Plug one in for plugging one in?”

“Careful. I might turn up your phone brightness, turn on the GPS…” Nico winked.

“That’d be a tragedy.” Deen let his gaze slowly wander down Nico’s body. Chest like a rock wall, abs of steel, broad shoulders, and unfortunately, sweatpants covering the rest.

The laugh that bubbled from that broad chest brought a breathless smile to Deen’s lips.

“I, uh, made breakfast.”

“Did you ferment the yogurt yourself?”

“I curated breakfast.”

Nico laughed again, even louder this time, and approached the table to lean down for a kiss.

Whoa. Kind of domestic. And I think I like it.

But he pulled back after a short brush of lips together, his eyes down on Deen’s phone. “What’s that? Wikipedia?”

As Nicolas pulled Caleb’s safety line, he wrenched his shoulder, according to the official press release.

Crap. Deen’s cheeks flushed, betraying him before he could even say it. “Uh. Yeah.”

“…That’s not the full story, you know. We got torn apart for errors that happened in training. Caleb shouldn’t have been sent out there in the first place.”

Deen’s gaze flitted back to the paragraph he’d read and reread since waking at dawn, like a damn songbird. His bedtime and waking times had grown earlier since coming here, and he couldn’t say he missed two o’clock revelries as much as he’d expected. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to pry, but… I was curious.”

He couldn’t read Nico’s reaction because he was at the counter choosing breakfast foods from the small buffet of edible and breakfast-like things Deen had found. “Rice? For breakfast?”

“Why not? They do in Japan. It’s really good.”

“You’ve been to Japan? Oh. On tour?” Nico came to the table with a plate of food now.

Deen resisted the urge to close the Wikipedia page like a kid who’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Uh, yeah. It was great. Japan’s cool.”

A moment of silence stretched between them as Deen fidgeted with his phone, spinning it in half-circles since it was charging and he couldn’t spin it all the way around.

“I Googled you, too, actually. I’m not annoyed about that,” Nico spoke up.

Deen’s breath of relief was sharp. “Okay. I couldn’t help it. Dude, you saved a guy’s life. In space. Were you ever gonna tell me that?”

“Why would I? It was nothing special. Of course I was gonna help a crew member out.”

“It was his mistake, but he’s still got a career and you don’t, though. I’m pretty sure you’re a hero.”

The expression that flickered across Nico’s face was far from appreciation. He didn’t say anything for a minute. Just as Deen was about to make up some comment on the weather, Nico saved him the trouble.

“So, my patrol starts early this morning. I gotta do this one alone.”

“Even with your shoulder?”

Nico sighed. “I’ll be fine. I don’t expect to be chucking boulders at anyone.”

“Always expect the unexpected, some wiseass ranger once told me,” Deen joked around, trying to lighten the mood.

But it had shifted, very clearly, since his off-hand comments about Nico’s former career.

Goddamn. Was he trying to escape his past or something? But he’d had one of the coolest careers on the planet, and then he’d saved a life. What was there to escape? Nico was one of a tiny group of people to have ever left the Earth’s inner atmosphere, and he didn’t want to talk about it?

Deen kind of got it. He hadn’t told Nico much about his touring life or described his discography. But…

“Okay. I’ll be home before dark, I hope. Maybe. Depends what the boss says,” Nico sighed. He made his way to the bedroom, presumably to cover up that stunning body in the uniform Deen was growing to find sexy. “Keep out of trouble.”

“I’ll try.”

But Nico didn’t kiss him, or even stop to squeeze him in a friendly half-hug, on the way out the door. He left with the speed of a stray bullet.

Shit. Whatever he says, he’s pissed off now.

* * *

He only planned a light walk to a spot with good lighting for his daily update video, then home in time for lunch. He had to edit yesterday’s video and find that one spot in the clearing outside his cabin with three bars of signal to upload it without his arm falling off as he waited. With Nico off the grid and no radio of his own, plus spotty cell signal, Deen didn’t relish the prospect of getting lost.

On the other hand, he knew how to read a map and sort of understood the compass now. He didn’t want a boring monologue in the same place as another video, and he was running out of spots to film. By the time he reached the clearing overlooking the valley where he’d filmed a few previous updates, he was still restless.

Not being on the stage was taking a toll on him in a strange way. He had no outlet for the energy it took to sustain as high-energy a concert as he always insisted on.

“I shouldn’t,” he murmured, pulling his map out for a look. It was more wrinkled every day, but he valued it more with the little scribbled notes on it—he drew a little circle and wrote the date of each vlog he filmed so he could keep track of them. And when Nico warned him about something, whether an eroded path or heavy mosquito presence, he made a note of that.

He treasured those notes the most.

“Fuck off,” he muttered as that brought his main worry right back to the front of his mind.

Nico didn’t like him looking up his past, or calling him a hero. That fit with him not liking being on camera, or even giving his full name. Nicolas, all the Wikipedia pages referred to him as, but he went by Nico now. Was he trying to go undercover?

Maybe he was worried Deen would share his past with other people?

Fuck. He needed to stop guessing at the problem and ask what it actually was. Hell, maybe Nico had a toothache or something. One of Bryan’s favorite phrases sprung to mind: “When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.”

“Stop assuming. Just get your own shit done.”

Deen only had a snack bar and a water bottle, but that should be enough to get somewhere more interesting. He spread his map against a tree, trying to smooth it out against the rough bark. Leaning in, his eye landed on a blank spot—a peak, apparently. The topographical lines were closely spaced together. That would be hard work to get up, but it was very close by, so it would be mostly vertical work.

And it would distract him for a long afternoon until Nico was back from patrol and he could ask him what he’d said wrong.

Deen swallowed hard and nodded, then put his map away.

If there was one thing he’d learned from Nico so far, it was to make the best of every day. Today was no exception.

He switched on his camera as he turned onto the new trail, then cleared his throat and pointed the camera at himself to give it a signature grin. “So, I’m exploring a new trail today…”

* * *

“Oh, shit!”

In Deen’s long and storied history of bad decisions, there were few he allowed himself to regret.

On the rare occasion he really fucked up, the seconds immediately following his stupid decision were filled with visions of all the better consequences that would have come of not doing what he’d just done, and the intense wish to be able to turn back time, just a couple of seconds.

The self-flagellation didn’t last long, though. The impact of his body on rock face broke the train of thought.

All he’d wanted to do was get a view of the noon sun glowing against the rock face.

And then his foot slipped.

And then he was falling, slipping sideways on the edge. He grabbed a branch so dry it snapped instantly, sending him sliding down the rough rock, cradling his face in his hands and trying to keep the camera tucked against him.

Too late. The camera crunched as he landed awkwardly on his side, and his arm, trapped between the plastic casing and the rock, went numb.

Shit, shit, shit, he couldn’t break an arm! He played minor instrumental roles in half a dozen of his most popular songs—a few stanzas on guitar or keyboard, one solo…

More important things to worry about!

He gasped and rolled onto his back, shaking his arm carefully and trying to move his fingers.

Yes. They all moved. No break. The pain was no longer blinding, but it still choked his noises in the back of his throat.

He managed a few quick gasps, then grunted. “Motherfucker! Christ on a fucking cracker, those are shitty slippery fucknugget rocks…”

Deen bit his upper arm, both as distraction and to stifle the words and focus on the pain and diagnose himself as he wiggled his arm around. He squinted, making out the shapes of the now-shattered plastic casing against it.

No bleeding from the plastic pieces that dug into his back even now, and no limb sprains or fractures. No concussion or spinal injuries. Sure, this arm was going to be black and blue, but it wasn’t a break.

Jesus. He’d got really lucky. If you counted falling into a goddamn ravine lucky.

The sun beat down on him, helping calm the shivers of adrenaline that racked him. He rested his face for a moment more on the rock, then slowly pushed himself to sit up. The whole time, he kept cradling his arm and rubbing along his forearm gently to distract himself from the lancing pain. It was turning into a slow, steady throb.

Okay. He couldn’t even think of escaping yet—he had to take stock of the situation.

Camera. His arm ached even lifting that much light weight, and he tried not to think about that yet. He tried to turn it on, and then stared as it flickered to life.

“What the fuck? I… I am going to leave such a good testimonial.”

Okay, it wasn’t pretty, but it worked. That didn’t do him any good, since he couldn’t upload anything without internet access.

Phone. He checked that and breathed a sigh of relief that it was intact, albeit with one crack down the middle of the screen now. Of course, he had zero bars of signal.

“Should’ve expected that,” Deen sighed, holding it aloft in his good hand and walking up and down the narrow space. It was just wide enough that he couldn’t spread his hands out and touch both sides, but not spacious by any means.

He wasn’t claustrophobic—early tours in borrowed vans had broken him of that—but there was still a lingering discomfort.

He still had that snack bar and a quarter of his water bottle. The ascent had been hard going, and he’d gone a little too heavy on the water. Crap.

But that was no matter, if he could get out right away. Finally, Deen was calm enough to assess his chances there.

Sweat trickled down the back of his neck and he impatiently wiped it away. A few more sips of water, and it was time to find his best shot.

Some of the rock looked climbable—cracks in the walls, plus a tree at the top. If he could get a hand around that, and if that wasn’t as dry as the branch he’d broken on the way down, he could have a chance.

The drop was a good ten or twelve feet, which didn’t sound like a lot until he was at the bottom, looking up at the world so far above.

There’s a metaphor for my life.

It was an unreasonable thought and he knew it—he had it all. Career, fans, a good life.

But what else?

The persistent thought made him catch his breath in his throat.

What else indeed. He visited his family sometimes, sure. He had a few buddies he called now and then, and he could call on some of his musical friends—famous names—when he was in town.

But his life centered on work. When Bryan said jump, he jumped. When the record label wanted merchandise, he went to the photo shoot. When the fans wanted him to post sexy shirtless photos, he posted them.

He was turning into his brand. What hobbies did he have these days? He’d used to go out sometimes with friends. He’d never been outdoorsy, but ATVing, like he’d told Nico.

Nico.

Coming back to the cabin, bantering with him, flirting, cooking with him, sleeping with him… Deen already knew the answer to what—who—was missing in his life. He just didn’t want to admit it.

“This isn’t helping me escape.”

Jesus. It was a warm day, but in here it was downright baking. Heat was supposed to rise, wasn’t it? But the rock face had absorbed sunshine all morning and it was warm—almost painfully so—to the touch.

And he was in the direct sun.

Deen closed his hand around the protruding chunk of rock and tried to haul himself up, but his arm twinged hard and he dropped to the ground again to cradle it. “Fuck!”

No signal. No note left behind. Little supplies, and nothing to help him get out of here.

For the first time, it sank in how really fucked he was. Although the sun brought sweat drops to his skin as quickly as he wiped them away, the shivers returned.

17

Nico

There was no reason for alarm.

Deen hadn’t answered his phone, but they all knew signal was spotty. He usually answered a text message as soon as possible, and it was weird for him to be out of range for so long. He’d gone out for a walk, no doubt. That was all fine. He knew what he was doing now.

But it was early evening, and he wasn’t back yet. That was the unusual part. Despite his strikingly in-shape figure, Deen was strongly food-motivated.

“Come on. Pick up.” Nico tapped his fingers against his phone and sighed when it went straight to voicemail. Out of range still.

Maybe his phone had died. That would explain it. He had a map, and this late in May, the sunlight stretched long enough that he should be able to read it by daylight and get home.

Unless he’d wandered way off the path. Surely Deen would have stayed on the trail, though.

He hadn’t run across Deen on his patrols all day, but he couldn’t cover his entire territory, even on ATV. It was easy to miss each other in this much space.

If Nico had learned one thing apart from his faith in science, rules, systems, and logic, he’d also learned the oddly scientific nature of gut instinct.

It had come up in training, but more importantly, Nico might never have saved Caleb from drifting into the cold nothingness of space if it hadn’t been for his gut instinct. Since then, he’d never doubted it.

On paper, it looked so cut and dried. Caleb’s safety tether had failed when the part he was working on repairing snapped off and the recoil damaged the push-to-talk button on his radio controller.

Nicolas had noticed and maneuvered over just in time to grab the end of the safety cable. With the restricted movement of the suits, he’d wrenched his shoulder out towing Caleb back close enough to grab hold of the station and walk his way over to the airlock.

But the heart-pounding seconds of total silence, the visual of a spacesuit—with a human inside, almost invisible in the bulk and gear—slowly drifting into the utter void of space?

That wasn’t something he could tell anyone about. It was a primal, existential dread that crept into his bones and made the sweat break out along his spine every time he saw it again in his head. Hell, dreams of it woke Nico up in a cold sweat at times.

Not until they’d touched helmets had the oppressive silence been broken by Caleb’s voice—frantic, harsh, cracking in terror as the shock of his near-death experience set in.

And not just any death. A death in cold, empty space, watched by the rest of the crew as he looked helplessly back, nobody able to close that distance. So close, and yet so far.

Several critical oversights, and the entire agency had been lambasted for them in the media. It wasn’t a great time to be a former astronaut back then, even the hero of the day.

Ten hours on patrol today and he was about to head back out again. But this was different. This was Deen.

He sighed as he stuffed the rest of his sandwich into his mouth, then changed his clothes while trying not to choke on his own food. His full mouth meant he couldn’t mumble things about Deen being a pain in the ass as usual, but he thought them loudly.

One last check of Deen’s cabin. Again, all he saw was the man’s laptop on the table, his map and cameras gone. But, worryingly, this time, Nico spotted one more thing: his daypack sitting by his bunk.

If he hadn’t brought that, he’d only been planning a short walk—and if that was the case, something had happened.

Gut instinct wins.

He searched his own mental map of the place. Where had Deen gone most? Where would he feel most confident? And where was far enough that he wouldn’t be able to make it back?

Or maybe it wasn’t distance. Maybe he was stuck somewhere, or he’d tried something reckless. Surely he wouldn’t have tried cliff-diving, especially after the warnings he’d put in his video to ensure his fans didn’t try it.

What else was nearby, looked accessible, but dangerous? Other than the falls, where had he rescued dumbass hikers before?

It came to him in a flash: the ravine.

The view was tempting for Instagram addicts, but the rocks on the edge were slippery. It wasn’t a far fall, but it was sheer. Without handholds, especially in the heat of the day and underprepared, it was exhausting to climb out.

Nico growled, slamming the cabin door. He shoved his helmet on and pushed the key into the ignition of the ATV. “If you tried some daredevil stunt, I’ll kill you myself.”

18

Deen

If his stomach weren’t empty, he’d be throwing up. As it was, Deen was slumped on the floor of the ravine, his shoulder against the wall, legs under himself. He was prepared to drop to all fours if needed.

The sun was so close to fucking off behind the trees on the opposite ridge. It had crept slowly, painfully, across the sky, casting direct light on him the whole time. Only a few spots in the ravine were sheltered, and he’d crouched in them for as long as possible once it became clear he couldn’t pull himself out.

He’d tried searching for cell signal in every inch of this ravine, keeping a text message to Nico in “sending” in case he got signal for even a few seconds. It was clear he was alone in this, until Nico noticed him missing.

Now and then, he’d shouted for help, but there were no signs of nearby hikers. That was the downside of wandering off alone deep in the woods.

Deen had been hoping to rest, gather his strength, and haul himself up mostly one-handed, or that his arm would stop aching when he lifted it. Instead, he’d finished the rest of his water too quickly, as much as he’d tried to ration it out. Then the sweating had begun, and the dizziness, and now nausea.

Deen might not have been familiar with the outdoors, but he wasn’t stupid. He couldn’t remember if it was heatstroke or heat exhaustion that came first, but he’d had this before. Too much time under the bright lights of the stage, too little water, and he’d come down with this in a midsummer Houston music festival.

They’d hydrated him, put cool cloths on him, fussed over him with graham crackers and medical personnel and an organizer eager to get him back onto stage.

Now he was by himself, without any way to help himself, and his damaged pride at his idiocy had given way to serious concern for his wellbeing.

If he stopped sweating and his skin turned dry, he was utterly fucked.

Finally, the sun crept under the very highest treetops and he moaned with relief, leaning into the single shady spot. A few minutes later, it was large enough to shelter all of him without having to hug the hot rock face.

He had to keep trying to climb out, weak or no. If he could get even a foothold to hold on and recover, then another, he could maybe gradually work his way out of here. The key was not to push himself into sweating more water than he had left in his system.

Slowly, Deen pushed himself to his feet, staying within the shady area, and sheltered his eyes to look around. This was the best spot, if that tree held. The branch dipped lower than he could otherwise reach.

It was just his own height again, not far to fall if he slipped, he reminded himself. And it beat making Hollywood gossip rag headlines for being found dead in a ravine.

That serious possibility strengthened his resolve. He squinted up at his destination, then looked to his first hand- and toeholds. He could step on a boulder with one foot, and jam the other toe into a crack. Keeping his palms against the rock face, which mercifully was now just warm, not blistering hot, he stepped up and did exactly that.

One foot down, eleven to go. Subtract his own six feet of height and it was more like five feet, wasn’t it?

That was an encouraging thought, but not enough to dispel the sinking feeling as he stared at the smooth rock face ahead of him.

“One handhold,” he murmured, looking around for something near his good hand first. If he could rely on his other three limbs, maybe…

He dug his fingers into a small rock, then cursed as it broke off before he could lift his full weight. It took him a few more tries, his hands already scuffed and aching, before he found a ridge that held under his grip. Carefully, he hauled himself up just a little, scrabbling to find a spot to press a foot into.

A foot and a half.

Fuck. This was going to take all evening, and he was already shaking. It was hard to be upright when he wanted to curl into a ball to stop the nausea.

“Shut up,” he hissed under his breath. He didn’t have the luxury of feeling sorry for himself or sick, even if he felt worse than any hangover had ever done to him.

He pressed his forehead against the rock for a few moments, then wiped his arm on his sleeve. Still sweating. Good.

He had to get a handhold for the bad arm now. Something around waist level if possible, not above his head. He didn’t think he’d be able to support himself, just help himself stay balanced.

But there was nothing. He searched for a good minute and saw nowhere on his left until a few feet up—too far to reach with that arm.

Deen could have cried with frustration, but no way in hell was he giving up that easily—or wasting that much water.

He could reach across with his other arm, but then he’d have to find a place for his foot. His forearms were scraped now from the rock face, and he was covered in dust, trying not to cough or sneeze. Hell, he was trying to breathe through his nose and waste less water.

Deen’s mouth was so dry. He wanted to hurl, but he wasn’t going to, damn it!

He wasn’t. He couldn’t. He breathed in and out.

After a minute, the wave of nausea passed. He could just about see straight again.

Time to try this.

He carefully reached across his body, grabbing the slight outcropping with his right hand. Deen braced his shoulder against the rock face as he found a rock to balance against.

He was almost leaning backward, jamming himself against the corner of the ravine, but his hopes soared. The tree was too far to reach from the corner, but maybe he could shimmy most of the way up using the corner…

Another wave of nausea. He gagged, his fingers digging into rock to keep him from sliding back down again.

He couldn’t lose ground. Not now.

It must have been fifteen minutes since his last try now. He screwed up his eyes, braced himself, and yelled as loud as he could.

“Help!”

He counted to three. No answer. Not a hint of human life. He wasn’t going to try again.

Deen had yelled more at first, half to channel his own frustrated and angry energy. Now, he had to think of water. It all came down to fucking water.

Time for one more move up the rock face. Slowly, edging his way across, he reached back to the right side of his body, tried to scrabble for a handhold to bypass the smooth, sheer section of rock where his feet wouldn’t get enough purchase.

He knew he was screwed before he started. He was shaking now, finding it hard to keep his bad hand even flat and steady on the rock face.

He grabbed and held tight, but his grip wasn’t tight. Not of his doing, his fingers unconsciously opened and he slipped down the rock face, scraping his arms and stomach against the rocks. He tilted his head back in time that he didn’t bang his teeth against the rocks.

Deen half-curled by the base of the cliff again, clutching his knees and trying not to vomit at the sudden movement.

Just then, there was a sound—not natural.

He choked and gasped, pushing himself back to open his lungs. If there was one thing he knew how to do, it was to project like the sound guys had fucked up his mic.

“Help!”

It was an engine. It revved, then stopped.

He repeated his cry.

“Deen? You down there?”

It was Nico.

Deen could have cried.

“Yes!”

“You hurt? I’ll fucking kill you myself, you idiot.”

Deen laughed weakly. “Yes. I’m okay. Sort of. I hurt one arm. And I need water.”

“I’m gonna grab a rope for you! How dehydrated are you?”

Deen tried to swallow and failed. “Very.”

There he was, edging close to the cliff above him. From this angle, far beneath his feet, Nico looked like a fucking guardian angel.

Guardian ranger.

Deen smiled weakly, and Nico’s expression sharpened, then softened as he knelt. “I’m getting you up here first. Then water. Okay? I promise. I’ll be as fast as I can.”

“Okay,” Deen breathed out and closed his eyes for a few moments.

“No. Keep talking. Tell me how long you’ve been here.”

There were noises, but he didn’t care to open his eyes and look up. Nico was there—right there. So close. Nico wouldn’t let him come to harm now.

“I don’t know. Just after lunch, I think. I had half a sandwich at the mountain top, then I came down here. Slipped on a rock on the edge.”

“Did you hurt yourself in the fall?”

“Yeah. Left arm. Hit it. It’s not broken, though. Just hurts like a motherfucker. Gotten better though,” Deen managed.

Something touched him and he jolted, his eyes flying open.

A noose of rope.

“Oh, thank God.”

“Thank me. Later. Profusely,” Nico mumbled, not too softly for him to catch.

Deen laughed under his breath. He deserved every bit of chewing out Nico gave him, even if he’d prefer another kind of chewing out.

“Round your waist, baby.”

Deen’s hands shook as he straightened enough to slide the rope around his middle, then tightened it around his waist. The loop tightened as he pulled.

“Can you grab the rope and walk up the cliff? Just a few feet. Then I’ll grab your hand,” Nico promised. “Yell stop if you lose control. Lean back, like you’re sitting on a couch or something. Arms out.”

Step by step, Deen followed instructions, and then the ATV revved. He was going up.

Finally.

He was shocked at how fast it was. Within seconds, he was within reach of the top and Nico was there, his hands around Deen’s shoulders, pulling him up and away from the edge of the cliff, steering him right over to sit on the ATV.

Deen swayed and leaned down, elbows on his knees, as soon as he sat. “Jesus. Christ.”

“You’re okay.” Nico was kneeling in front of him, his hands mercifully cool against Deen’s cheeks as he patted his forehead and cheeks, then the back of his neck. “You’re out of water, huh? Looks like a little heat exhaustion. Symptoms?”

“It’s definitely that,” Deen mumbled. “Skin’s not dry yet.”

“No. You’re lucky,” Nico murmured. Then, something pressed against his lips. A water bottle.

Deen nearly choked with relief. He swallowed and tipped his head back, gulping, but not even a full mouthful of water was in his mouth before Nico pulled the bottle back.

“No,” Deen protested in a moan. “I’m—babe.”

“Soon,” Nico whispered, pressing his cool hand against Deen’s cheek again. “Just gotta keep that down first, honey.”

Deen closed his eyes and pressed his face into Nico’s palm. His hands were big—not big enough to cover his whole face, but his forehead and eyes, the tops of his cheeks.

“It’s all right, Deen,” Nico murmured. His arm slid around Deen’s waist, and Deen leaned over until his forehead pressed against Nico’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry. Fuck. I’m so sorry,” Deen whispered. “I was an idiot.”

“As long as you know that, and you don’t ever make me worry like that again. Jesus. You’re a sight,” Nico breathed out.

“How’d you know to come here?”

“Been up and down looking at the places you haven’t been for your stupid little videos before,” Nico murmured back. “But I thought about here in particular. Stupid Instagram kids almost fall all the time. And we rescued someone’s dog once.”

“Hero,” Deen mumbled under his breath, pressing his nose into Nico’s neck.

Nico drew a quick breath in, but he didn’t say anything to the contrary this time. A moment later, he pulled away. “Another sip of water.”

Slowly, Nico let him have more water, and he drank it greedily. Already, his head was clearing up, his body temperature dropping. His face still burned, but he was getting the itching suspicion it was sunburn now. Deen had put on sunscreen before he left to preserve his charming good looks, but that much sweat was bound to wash some or all of it off.

“You’re coming ’round,” Nico breathed. It was impossible not to hear the relief in his voice.

Deen managed to sit straight up on the ATV seat now, rather than lean on Nico. He finally offered a cheeky smile. “I’ll come around you any time you want.”

“You…” Nico trailed off, then worked his jaw around and shook his head as Deen chuckled. “It’s a good thing I… I don’t mind you.”

“Don’t mind?” Deen pretended to be offended. “I’m pretty awesome.”

“Apart from getting stranded and almost dying in my territory without leaving a note, out of cell range, without taking a radio or a daypack or emergency supplies, or enough goddamn water…?”

Deen looked down and nodded. If anything, now was the time for meekness. He’d seriously inconvenienced Nico, at the very least. And scared him, it sounded like. “Sorry.”

The ATV shifted as Nico sat beside him at last, brushing his knees off, and wrapped his arm around him. “It happened. Just… fuck.”

He was shivering slightly.

Jesus. He was shaken, for that cool, in-control ranger persona to give way to this.

Deen turned and pressed into Nico, chest to chest, wrapping his arms tightly around him. “Hey. I’m fine. I would’ve climbed out sooner or later. I was trying already.”

Nico let him get away with the lie. “Still.”

“Still,” Deen whispered. Despite the heat all day, now that his body was cooler, he didn’t want to pull back from the strong arms and the smell of Nico, the feeling of safety, even if he was a heat source. “Jesus. What will I tell people?”

“That you fell down a ravine? Hey, Lassie…”

“Shut up,” Deen snorted.

“We can tell them you were taking a leak in the great outdoors. It’s believable, given your tendencies…”

“Don’t you dare!” Deen laughed, his voice cracking. That was his first real laugh since that morning. Fuck. It felt almost like a whole new day now. He leaned harder into Nico, then ran his hand down his back.

He must have been feeling better, because Nico’s solid body was starting to appeal to him in a much dirtier way again as he decided how to pay back the debt he owed him. He groped Nico’s ass for a moment before Nico swatted at his hands.

“If you can grope, you can hold onto me while we get you back to the cabins.”

“You sure you don’t want some wilderness fucking? I hear it’s hot,” Deen purred.

He caught the second of temptation that flitted across his lover’s expression before Nico glared at him. “You’re definitely back to your usual self.”

“Mmhmm.”

He wrapped himself around Nico as soon as Nico took his seat on the front of the ATV. With Nico so close to him, the face of his helmet pressed against Nico’s back, he barely noticed the terrain passing them until the cabins abruptly slid into his peripheral vision and the ATV shut off.

“Inside, you,” Nico murmured, his arm around Deen’s waist to support him. Deen could walk, but he let Nico steer him anyway.

I’m unbelievably lucky.

19

Deen

It was amazing how quickly he recovered. With food and more water, half an hour of lying down not being allowed to move or even review his camera footage, Deen started to feel like it was all a bad dream.

“The human body is amazing,” Deen murmured.

“It sure is.” Nico had had that half-edgy tone since getting back. He kept touching Deen every time he passed him and rubbing his arm unnecessarily. He frequently checked his temperature with a hand against his cheeks and forehead, too.

But he also kept glaring at him.

Deen sure as hell couldn’t blame him. He was pretty sure Nico had the right to be totally pissed off at him for weeks.

“Shit,” he breathed out.

“What?” Nico was there, his hand on his shoulder, and Deen instantly felt bad for alarming him.

“No, no. I’m fine. I—are you? You pulled me up, didn’t you?”

“I’m okay,” Nico murmured. When Deen gave him a pointed look, he sighed and revised that to, “I’ve been better. But it’s only minor.”

“God,” Deen breathed out and leaned back into the creaky old couch. For all he was holding back his words, Nico must have been judging the hell out of him. As well he should, from that one outburst earlier of just a sampling of the things he’d done wrong.

I should call people and tell them I’m all right, but they never even knew I was in trouble. God. Tomorrow, then.

Instead, he took Nico by the hand, checking that it was his good arm, then chuckled slightly.

“What?”

“We’ve both got a good arm now. I can think of some uses for that…”

Nico shook his head at him, but he smiled, too. “Hopefully they’re compatible.”

“Oooh.” Deen perked up. If he was willing to let Deen flirt… “Speaking of amazing human bodies? We could test that.”

“You shouldn’t exert yourself.”

“Baby, I’m better. I could go for a run now. I won’t unless a bear busts in here, but I could.”

Nico eyed him but gave in. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well…” Deen purred, eager for the chance to reconnect. For a brief time back there—minutes? hours? he had no way of telling—he’d thought he might never get to do this.

He slid closer to Nico, shifting until he straddled his lap and cupped his cheeks in his palms. They felt good, stubbly and warm and solid. He rubbed Nico’s jaw with his thumb, then smiled as he leaned in to kiss.

Being hydrated enough that their lips slid easily together felt incredible. He was never going to take that for granted again.

Nico moaned softly and tangled his hand in the back of Deen’s hair, his other hand firmly on the small of his back.

Yes. This. This was… good.

Deen never wanted to pull away from Nico, so even taking a breath was more space than he wanted. He kept his lips against Nico’s skin as he did, kissing his neck or ear or cheek before going back to his lips until they were swollen and tender and so goddamn wet.

“You been tested?” Deen finally whispered against Nico’s lips.

Nico’s brows shot up, and he wordlessly nodded. “It’s been… a while. But I haven’t had anyone since, so. You know. Still applies.”

Deen grinned. “Same. It’s been ages,” he complained light-heartedly. He’d only left the woods a couple times since getting here—once to go shopping with Nico, once on his own, but he’d snuck off to the clinic then… just in case. His hopes had been up for a while.

“Me, too. It’s been years since I’ve gone without, and I’m tested. But… do you wanna? This isn’t like Grindr.”

“No,” Nico agreed. “It isn’t.”

“If you’d rather, I’ve got some.”

Nico looked startled for a moment, and then he thought about it, and then he nodded within a few seconds. “Yeah. I do, actually.”

Deen grinned. “Really? You wanna bust a nut in me?”

“Hell, yeah.” Nico’s dick was stirring to life as he rocked against Nico’s lap, rubbing their bodies together. “I missed that filthy mouth today.”

“Should’ve heard me when I fell,” Deen snorted. “Would’ve made a sailor blush.”

“Try it on me, then.” Nico peeled off Deen’s shirt—fresh and dry, after his shower and change of clothes. He leaned in to mouth at Deen’s nipple.

“Fuck, yes! Your tongue’s so good. You claim not to get laid much, but…” Deen moaned as that tongue swirled in slow, teasing circles around the nub of flesh.

His cock sure as hell responded to the attention, remembering well what suction and friction that mouth could apply. The kisses made his skin prickle with need, made him want to push into Nico’s hot mouth…

“Yeah, I’m remembering you sucking my dick now,” Deen breathlessly laughed as Nico kissed his way over to the other nipple and sucked that one, too. He flicked the first one with his fingertips. “Oof! Ooh. God. Jesus, yes. I like that. Fuck…”

Then it hit him: Nico liked foreplay. How often did Deen get to do that? Usually his idea of foreplay was letting his partner put on the condom.

Nico was teasing him now, sucking the flesh into his mouth and pressing his lips sharply around it, then scraping his teeth.

“Nnnnh!” Deen let the moan drag out of his throat, lengthened it, added some growl to it to make sure Nico knew exactly how fucking incredible that felt.

Deen’s skin was burning now, his heart pounding, his head spinning. For a moment, his body remembered those same sensations earlier that day, but not for a moment did he panic. Nico was there. That always meant he was safe.

Nico’s hands guided his own shirt off and pressed their bodies together as Nico mouthed dirty kisses along his neck, all the way behind his ear, where he stopped to suck the sensitive skin. He remembered that spot without being told.

Deen let a series of eager noises slip free, squirming in Nico’s lap and curling his hands hard into Nico’s t-shirt. As hot as Nico looked in a uniform, he much preferred this casual outfit—sweatpants and T, easier to pull off and go to town.

His own bottoms, pajama pants without underwear, didn’t hide a thing. Nico cupped his bulge through them and squeezed, then rubbed along the length. “You’re ready to go already.”

“Always. Ooh. Nice texture.” The cloth against his shaft would get irritating for too long, but for now, it was an incredibly hot tease. “I’d prefer your mouth, though.”

“And I’d prefer this—” Nico hauled his legs open so he could grind against his ass, “—inside there.”

“Yes,” Deen moaned. “I thought you were gonna make me wait.”

“Don’t let my on-the-job attitude fool you,” Nico rumbled, his voice low and so goddamn sexy Deen wanted to record it and use it as a backing track. “I’m not that patient a man when it comes to you.”

“I’ve noticed—mmm!” Deen’s smartass comment was cut off when Nico shoved his pajamas down and grabbed his dick, running a fist tightly up and down the shaft. “Oof. Jesus! Yes, sir.”

“You listening to me?”

“Yes.” Deen barely managed the word, his breathing was so quick. Nico had caught on to that soft spot he had for him being all bossy, then, because his whole presence made Deen feel like he was there to serve him.

And that was a change. Everyone else looked at him like he was the god, the rock star, here to please them and make a memory of a lifetime.

Now he didn’t feel that pressure. He liked letting Nico set the pace.

“Good,” Nico breathed out, his fist slowly milking Deen’s hard shaft, twisting slightly on the upstroke. “Get my cock out.”

Deen fumbled to reach around Nico’s arms and not interfere with the incredible stroking going on right now. But it didn’t take long before they were squirming to let each other work at the same time, kicking off all the clothes still remaining.

Naked was the only way to do this.

His heart pounded at the sight of Nico sprawled under him, naked and erect, like a Greek god.

“You’re… Jesus, you’re hot. How you’re not taken six ways from Sunday.”

“I’d like to be.”

Deen sharply glanced up at Nico, trying to figure out if he meant that in the boyfriend way or the innuendo way. Or, he dared to hope, both? “That could be arranged. Do you keep lube around here?”

“Bedroom.”

“Too far.”

Nico winced. “It’s your choice.” He let go of Deen’s cock and smacked his ass. “Sooner you go, sooner you’re back.”

“Fine.” Deen clicked his tongue. The sprint to his bedroom and back took just a few seconds, but it might as well have been months for all his body craved contact with Nico again.

Climbing back onto his lap was worth it, though. The slide of his thighs on Nico’s, his balls tickled by thigh hair, the abrupt stop as his stomach and chest hit Nico’s and face tucked into his shoulder, bouncing slightly on the couch. Their hard cocks brushed as he adjusted his stance.

“Oof!” Nico laughed. “Don’t break anything.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Deen kissed along Nico’s throat, nibbling lightly by his jaw. He reached down to grip both lengths in his hand, slowly running his fingers up and down the shafts, then thrust. “You like this?”

“Mm. I like all of you.”

“Even the dumb part?”

“Everyone does stupid shit sometimes. Maybe you do a little more often…” Nico grinned breathlessly up at him.

Deen mock-gasped, then squeezed their cocks together. “How dare?”

Nico groaned. “Not sorry. Not if it gets you to do that.”

“You know what else I’ll do?” Deen mouthed at Nico’s neck. “Ride you like there’s no tomorrow.”

Nico’s breath caught as he groaned. “You… don’t have to. You should rest.”

“Shut the fuck up and let me fuck you. Jesus.” Deen let go of them so he could spread lube across his fingers, then spread his knees and reached between his legs to rub it around his hole and inside.

“That’s the hottest sight.” Nico leaned back as if trying to get a better view, but Deen was too impatient to let it carry on for too long. He’d been waiting damn long enough.

Nico swiped lube across a couple fingers and reached out to take hold of him, stroking his shaft again to get it slick. His grip was just firm enough to please, but not so tight it hurt. The loose skin along the shaft rubbed sensitive, firm skin underneath, and all was perfect.

With his own fingers pressing into his prostate and rubbing, Nico’s hand around his cock, he was half-tempted to just let himself come on the spot, but he couldn’t do that. Not yet. He wanted Nico’s cock at last, almost as badly as he’d needed water earlier. He thought he’d go absolutely fucking crazy without it.

The cock head was thick and full against him. Sinking down onto it was a little slower than his own fingers, more of a stretch. As the discomfort peaked and then eased, he slowly took it in, letting the rings of muscle relax.

And inch by inch, Nico slid inside him. It was Nico’s first time in a while, so Deen wanted to make sure it felt amazing.

Apparently it worked. Nico rolled his head back against the couch. “Fucking hell, that’s good,” he groaned.

“Wait until I get going.”

Nico licked his lips, glancing down at the place where their bodies joined. “Oh my God. Makes me want to…”

“Mm?” Deen prompted. Sometimes Nico still needed help figuring out what to say. He blushed easily when he talked dirty, even though he wasn’t shy about the act. It was so cute.

“Wanna fuck you again and again, and we’ve barely started.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Deen growled. They had over a week left to enjoy it—a few times a day and they’d get this out of their system.

Unless we don’t.

Deen grabbed Nico’s hip and the back of the couch, steadying himself on his knees, then started to rise and fall. He pushed himself down on that length in slow but firm movements. Nico filled him and pressed hard against the sensitive spot inside—especially when he leaned back.

“That’s it, gorgeous. Show me how you like it,” Nico growled back at him, his voice even deeper. Again, the fleeting temptation to record him. He’d have to bring it up sometime.

Deen thrust harder, gritting his teeth. This was the only real reason for him to stay in shape now that he wasn’t carrying his own amps, but a hell of a good one. His cheeks were already flushed with heat, his heart racing as he fucked Nico hard and fast.

Tempting him to take over.

“You’re so big. Jesus. I love it,” Deen murmured, biting his lip to stifle a few of his gasps.

Nico’s hands closed around Deen’s hips, pushing him down harder until his ass ground against Nico’s thighs with every down thrust. “Thanks. You let me know when you get tired.”

“Speaking of you oughta be resting,” Deen teased, then squeaked suddenly as his voice broke with surprise. “I don’t need a big, strong, hunky man to screw me into the couch…”

Nico grabbed his shoulder blade and the small of his back and suddenly Deen found himself rolling sideways on the couch. He was sprawled across it with Nico’s cock buried deep in him, Nico’s lips on his. Apparently Nico had taken that as a challenge.

Deen moaned into Nico’s mouth, spreading his legs further so Nico could fuck him good and deep. Already, Nico was taking over, each thrust sending a demand shivering through his body for more.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Deen panted, his nails digging into Nico’s back and running down soft skin. “Hard, baby. I can take it.”

The way Nico’s hips moved, either muscle memory or innate talent was guiding him. He was fucking great on top. Deen squirmed under him, whimpering as Nico started to lick and kiss his neck and ears. Those sinful lips dipped down to his chest now and then to lick a nipple or suck it, then bit his shoulder again.

Every little teasing press of tongue, teeth, or lips made him tense up with pleasure, his muscles quivering involuntarily. Not to mention that cock, which was angled against the pleasurable spot inside.

For fuck’s sake, he was going to end up coming first at this rate. That was totally Nico’s goal.

“You’re amazing,” Deen panted, his head spinning. He curled his toes into the edge of the couch, pulling Nico in so he pinned him down with his weight, then raised his hands above his head.

Nico reached up to lace his hands with Deen’s, pressing them down to the couch as he bit Deen’s lip. “I was just thinking the same myself.”

“That you’re amazing?” Deen winked.

Nico smirked. “If you’re still being a wiseass, I’m not doing my job right.”

“Oh, you are.” Deen lifted one leg to carefully run it along the back of Nico’s thighs, then the other.

It trapped their bodies together so Nico couldn’t pull most of the way back and thrust the whole length of that delicious dick into him, but he stayed in deeper at the end of each thrust, too. And it meant more of Nico’s weight rested on him.

He was utterly intoxicated, and he loved it.

Nico’s eyes sparkled as he pushed Deen’s hands together, then pinned down both slim wrists with one of those large, rough palms. “You like that?”

Deen barely managed a nod, his cheeks burning. “Fuck, please. My cock. I need more.” He curled his hands into fists, pushing against the hold, but it was firm.

“Working on it, baby,” Nico whispered, his breath warm on Deen’s lips. Then the rough skin and broad fingers of his other hand gently closed around his cock. “I’ve got you.”

The last spark of resistance melted away, and within half a dozen strokes, Deen was utterly pliable under Nico’s hands.

His body strained against Nico’s solid weight, grinding up against him with each stroke. He squeezed around Nico as every oversensitive nerve in his cock adjusted to the firm strokes, and then his body was tensing up on its own, orgasm unescapable and plunging headlong toward him.

“I’m—fuck! Nico!” Deen grunted, squeezing his eyes shut as he gasped for breath against Nico’s mouth. “Yes!”

With each erratic thrust of his hips, he pushed into the tight ring of Nico’s fingers. His passion spilled between them, wet and sticky.

“You sure you want me to come in you? Cause you’re not gonna get much choice in a minute.” Nico laughed weakly, his voice pulling Deen out of his boneless bliss.

“Go for it, baby. Be the animal I know you wanna be,” Deen whispered. “I’ve been waiting for this for weeks. Use me, Nico. Come for me.”

Nico grunted, his eyes focused on Deen’s face now as he let go of his wrists and cock, then grabbed his hips, pushing his knees up to bend him in two. “Oooh, you’re flexible.” Nico licked from the base of Deen’s throat up to his chin, then sucked his lip for a moment.

“I’ll let you find out how flexible next time,” Deen promised with a smirk against Nico’s lips once he could speak again. Then, he ran his tongue along Nico’s lips, flicking the tips of their tongues together.

Deen liked to talk, kiss, and fuck dirty, and he loved how well Nico responded to his suggestions. Already, Nico was turning his head to the side to slide their lips together, pushing his tongue into Deen’s mouth, reaching up to cup his face. He kissed like he wanted to claim him.

As Nico tensed up, his cock swelling with need, Deen squeezed around him until Nico’s thrusts were hard, erratic, and accompanied by gasps for breath. Deen had noticed before, but goddamn, Nico looked beautiful in the throes of an orgasm. How someone hadn’t scooped him up already was beyond him.

His heartbeat quickened as Nico’s nails dug into his hip and Nico moaned his name, his eyes squeezing shut.

“Fucking gorgeous. God, leave me wet and used and wishing for another round already,” Deen whispered just to urge him along.

Nico’s shiver in response made him smirk, but then he spoke. “Careful what you wish for. You could find my toy collection in you.”

Once he’d caught his breath, Deen moaned at the thought. “Yes, please. You dirty bastard.”

Nico chuckled deeply, thrusting a few final, lazy times before he slid out of Deen. “You don’t think I’m all alone in the wilderness with just my hand, do you?”

God, that cheeky attitude. Shy at times, but utterly bold others. “I love you,” Deen laughed, the words spilling from his lips as easily as the quick, shallow breaths of orgasmic bliss. Then he froze up, his eyes widening. “I mean…”

“In a love you, bro way, or the way that makes you wanna fuck me like this every night?” Nico murmured.

Shit. He hadn’t meant to stumble into this conversation, but Nico seemed unfazed. Unless this was a test. He had no idea what he was doing all of a sudden. He hadn’t asked anyone to date him—how could he date a fan, after all? And not a lot of rock singers were openly gay. He sure as hell wasn’t dating any of the guys in the band. And Grindr hookups weren’t really boyfriend material.

But Nico was different.

“The way…” Deen’s voice wavered, his heart pounding hard suddenly. His hands shook and he curled them into fists against the couch to keep them steady. “The way that makes me wanna curate breakfast every morning.”

“Good answer.” Nico smiled and pressed a gentle kiss against his lips, then rolled off him and pulled him into his side. “Don’t shake like a leaf.”

“I just… sorry,” Deen laughed abruptly, trying to absorb Nico’s calmness. “I’m not used to this bit. I don’t usually… I mean, I like you. And I wanna keep… I wanna figure out what we can do. I like this. You know?”

Nico’s lips were on his, his arm around his shoulder, and Deen melted into his chest. “I love you, too,” Nico murmured gently.

“Isn’t it… quick?”

“A few weeks is long enough to know the real you. Hell, a few days was, once you dropped the spoiled rock star facade.”

Deen swallowed hard and pulled back to get a good look at Nico’s face. “I thought you wouldn’t… want the long-distance boyfriend thing… with tours and stuff… and all the fame.”

“Baby, I’ve never expected anyone to come live with me in a little cabin in the middle of nowhere. That’s thinking awfully far ahead.” Nico looked tentative. “Unless you just want this to be a fling.”

The sudden emotion that curled itself into a band around Deen’s stomach made his whole world hurt. “No. No.”

“Good,” Nico whispered, tucking his chin on top of Deen’s head and kissing his hair. “Then we can figure out the rest as it comes. Start with a lot more hot sex and… cold breakfasts,” he laughed, his chest vibrating under Deen’s ear. “Sound good?”

Deen blew out a quick sigh as the tension that had gathered, the fear of rejection building under his skin, dissipated again. Nico was right, as always. Not that he’d ever tell him that—the man didn’t need an ego. Only room for one big ego in this cabin.

“Sounds perfect.”

20

Nico

“Oh, man.” That was definitely the smell of eggs cooking. And no burnt smells, either. Nico sat up in bed, slowly pushing the covers down, and rubbed at his eyes, looking out through the doorway into the main cabin.

Deen was wearing just boxers, whistling to himself as he cooked, and unaware of Nico sneaking to the doorway of the bedroom.

“You know this is a ranger station, right?”

The strangled noise of surprise Deen made when he jumped was totally worth it. “Jesus! You’re awake!”

“I’m not Jesus, but I sure made you swear to God last night,” Nico winked.

Deen beamed back at him. “So, what’s your point? About the ranger station?”

“Some poor hiker could knock on the door for assistance and get an eyeful of that.”

Nico should have known better. Instead of seeming embarrassed, Deen just smirked. “Jealous?”

Nico opened his mouth, then closed it again. Shit. He was a little jealous at the idea, actually. It wasn’t like Deen was covering his body in all the promo photos online, but… in the flesh?

“Hey.” Deen’s voice was softer. “Don’t overthink it. Breakfast?”

Nico welcomed the distraction from his clumsiness. He peered over at the hot plate, then stepped back into the bedroom to tug on his clothes for the day. “Yes! What is it? Eggs and…?”

“Bacon. I hope you weren’t planning to use it for anything.”

“I was, but I don’t mind. Breakfast with you is worth it,” Nico told him, emerging from the bedroom to approach him at the counter. He swept Deen against his front and kissed the top of his head, then let go. “I’ll set the table.”

“How domestic,” Deen teased. “I haven’t had homemade breakfasts in months.”

Nico shook his head. “How do you survive?”

“Hair of the dog, sometimes the hotel breakfast buffet… sometimes I skip straight to lunch.” Deen laughed. “Road life, man.”

“You’re going right back to a show soon, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. They want me in Houston two days before so they can make sure I haven’t forgotten everything I know,” Deen said drily. “And so they can tell me how much money I’ve lost them.”

“Oh?” Nico murmured. For the first time, he heard definite resentment in Deen’s voice.

“Just…” Deen trailed off, then sighed. “Nothing. I gotta call Bryan after breakfast.”

“Mm.” Nico settled at the table, rearranging his knife and fork until they were perfectly straight. “I’m seeing some of my buddies today.”

“Oh yeah? Does that mean you’re going into town?” Deen looked suddenly excited. He hadn’t wanted to come along before, when Nico picked up groceries.

“Yeah.”

“I could use a break from the woods,” Deen admitted. “Where are you going?”

“Knoxville.”

“No way! Can I come?”

Nico licked his lips. Introducing my friends to him is risky, isn’t it? He’ll probably take off in, what, nine days? Ten? We haven’t even talked long-term. “You mean to meet them?”

“Yeah. I’d like that. Anyone you like, I bet I’ll like, too. And…” Deen trailed off, then turned off the hotplate. “Breakfast is ready!”

Nico swallowed his reluctance. “Yeah, you can come along. Just don’t get scared off by them.”

“Why?” Deen laughed. “Are they gonna tease us?”

“Probably.”

Deen casually shrugged as he brought over plates of breakfast. “It’s up to you how you wanna introduce me.” There was something tense in the way he held his shoulders, though, and guarded in his eyes.

Nico caught his breath for a second. He wasn’t sure which direction to take it: was this phobia of commitment or abandonment? Or was that reading too much into it? “I… don’t know a lot about what this stage is supposed to be like,” he admitted with a laugh. “We agreed we’re kinda dating for now, right?”

Deen nodded and sat opposite him but didn’t start eating yet, his gaze fixed on Nico’s face.

“Do you wanna meet them as my boyfriend? Or is that, like, a long-term thing for you?”

“Is this not?”

“I don’t know.” Frustration welled in Nico’s chest. “With your career…” You won’t want to stick around.

“Ah.” Deen nodded slightly. “Well, I’m fine either way.”

Nico glanced at Deen, who was looking down at his plate now. He kept watching him, but Deen didn’t look up from poking his scrambled eggs around. Finally, Nico leaned over the table and slid two fingers under Deen’s chin to lift his head so he could make eye contact. “Are you really fine either way?”

Deen hesitated, tapping his fork against his plate before he set it down again. “I want to be someone’s boyfriend. I want to be the kind of guy worth introducing to friends, not… just bragging to them about banging.” His eyes were wide, his lips parted, breathing quick, like he was scared to even admit it. “Sorry. I dunno where that came from.”

Shit. Nico hadn’t meant to open up all these potential issues. This gave him a lot to think about, but later, when Deen wasn’t right there looking like a deer in the headlights. “Deen. God, you’re worth introducing. You’re going as my boyfriend today. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Deen closed his eyes for a second, then took Nico’s hand and kissed his palm. “Thank you. Eat up. Before breakfast gets cold.” But he looked more relaxed now, a tentative smile on his lips.

“Yes, sir,” Nico teased, and when Deen’s smile grew, he smiled back.

To him, Deen was a puzzle with missing pieces. Nico wanted to find every one.

21

Deen

“You gotta be kidding me. You did what?”

“Fell down a ravine. It was no big deal—Nico came and rescued me.” Deen was sweating despite the cool morning, pacing back and forth in his cabin as Bryan chewed him out.

“You stupid motherfucker. Are you okay?”

Deen smiled. Typical. Bryan cussed him out like nobody else, but still cared enough to ask if he was fine. “Yeah. I will be. Got a little sunburnt, but nothing that’ll peel. Just a healthy glow.”

“Jesus.” Bryan huffed in that way that meant he was trying to calm himself down. “And you and Nico?”

“Wh-What about me and Nico?” The moment it left his mouth, Deen winced. Normally he might have cracked a joke about wanting to get into his pants, or tried to brag about it.

Bryan was silent for a few moments. “Seriously? I tell you not to fuck the locals, and I tell you not to get yourself killed, and you go and do what?”

“I’m alive,” Deen muttered, jamming the phone between his shoulder and ear as he grabbed fresh clothes for the day in town. He wanted to dress nice enough to impress Nico’s friends, but not so nice it looked like he was trying to be a snobby rich kid.

“And doing Nico.”

“Hey.” Deen’s voice came out sharper than he meant it to. “Lay off.”

“You know I can’t do that. If the execs find out—”

“Fuck ’em! They already know I’m bi, right? The world does!” Deen turned sharply on his heel as he paced. “They’re already turning a blind eye.”

“That wasn’t what I meant.”

“Then what was?” Deen tried not to make it sound so combative, but it was personal. Bryan was implying that Nico was no more than a… a passing whim.

There were a few long seconds of silence. “Do you like this guy?”

“Mmm.”

“Shit. Are you boyfriends?”

“Maybe.” Deen sounded surly even to his own ears.

“Deen, don’t make things harder.”

Fine. Deen let out a breath and sank onto the bottom bunk, perching on the edge of the mattress and kicking his feet. Bryan was right—he had to talk about this like an adult. “Yeah. I like him. I have no idea if it’ll work out, or if he even wants me for more than a summer fling, but… yeah. Happy?”

“You know if the higher-ups find out, they’re going to exploit it, right?”

“What?”

“They’ve brought it up with me at least three times now and I’ve been fending them off by telling them you don’t date anyone seriously. They want to use it for publicity.”

The exact thing Nico feared. A shiver ran down Deen’s spine. He wasn’t sure he could protect a boyfriend from everything that came with his life—the fan attention, the constant road life, the long gaps in physical intimacy…

But Nico didn’t even want to appear on camera in a casual little YouTube video. No way in hell would he want to sit by Deen’s side in some fucking press conference.

“It’s my life,” Deen finally muttered. “You said once I need to be young while I still am. Well… this is me doing that. I gotta go now. We’re going into town to meet his buddies.”

Bryan sighed. “Okay. We’ll talk later, man. Have fun. Don’t let your hair down too much.”

“I’ll be on my best behavior.”

“Around your new boyfriend’s friends? Yeah, you will be for once. There’s an upside here for me,” Bryan laughed.

Deen laughed. “Yeah, fuck off. No more headlines for me.”

* * *

Having five guys wait for him to come was nothing new to Deen. But having them wait for him and his boyfriend to come into the bar? Whole different story.

Why the hell was he more nervous with his clothes on, meeting new people in a strictly platonic sense? The answer was both easy and unsettling: because they were Nico’s friends. So he wanted them to like him, which was not normally his style. He was supposed to not give a fuck what people thought of him; he was an international hit whose rock anthems had hit and stayed at #1 for weeks in countries worldwide, including the all-important USA charts.

But these were the guys whose opinions mattered most to Nico, and Deen’s palms were sweating as he pushed the bar door open and held it for Nico.

“There they are,” Nico gestured to the corner table immediately, raising a hand in a wave when one of them looked over. Deen mirrored the wave in a quicker, casual gesture, then touched Nico’s back. “I’ll let you say hi first. Want me to get a round? What do they drink?”

“Looks like they’ve started without us. So much for significant brothers. Just beers for both of us, please,” Nico told him with a quick smile. He moved away from Deen’s hand and headed toward the table.

As Nico approached the table, the other guys got up to grab him for back-slapping hugs. There was a little gesturing toward Deen, and then some jostling and horseplay before Nico grabbed a seat next to another empty one.

Deen looked away to give them a minute’s privacy and order the beers, resisting the urge to stare at the table and make it obvious that he was nervous. Once he paid, Deen took a deep breath and grabbed both pint glasses to bring them toward the table. As he approached, as if sensing his presence, Nico turned and smiled, then stood up again for another round of introductions.

“Guys, this is my boyfriend, Deen.”

It had been so long since he’d been introduced with those words. Deen’s heart soared, and he found himself grinning stupidly before he even put down their beers. “Hey, guys.”

He tried to shake hands, but was pulled into the strong grasp of the first guy to reach him—dressed in dark jeans and a collared shirt, but looking like that was overdressed for him. “Blane. What’s up, man? We had no idea he’d actually bring you!”

“You’re, uh, Deen Jayse, aren’t you?” The next guy to clasp him around the shoulders and pump hands had that look in his eye like he was trying to play it cool. “I’m Josh.”

This, Deen was familiar with. “On my good days,” he grinned.

Nico laughed, his hand sliding down Deen’s back to resting in the curve near the bottom. His hand in the small of his back was a warm, reassuring presence. “And that’s Tyler, and Roman. Dustin’s the shy one in the corner.”

Deen leaned in to shake hands, dutifully memorizing names. After countless photo ops, VIP meets, and interviews, he’d gotten good at it. “Great to meet you all.”

“You too, now that Nico’s not keeping you quietly stashed away in the mountains…” Blane earned an elbow in the ribs from Nico for that.

Deen laughed and pulled up a chair, settling himself in it to eye the men around him while they looked at him. He politely ignored the way Josh was clearly trying to play it cool.

Most of them shared Nico’s build: Josh, in plaid with a distinctive farmer’s tan line along the scoop neck of his t-shirt; Blane, who had a restless energy about him like he’d rather be pacing back and forth; Roman, whose dark and classic dress sense made him look like he could fit into a cocktail bar in any country in the world and not look out of place. It was like walking into a bouncers’ reunion.

Tyler was a little less broad in the shoulders but had calloused hands and dark nails that told Deen he did something physical for a living, too. Dustin was easily the lightweight of them all, with form-fitting clothes, eyeglasses and a quiet mannerism that made him almost blend into the background of their group.

What a group of guys. Deen was already intrigued. “So you guys were high school buddies? You said… significant brothers?” he laughed.

“Something like that. We were the GSA before the GSA existed.” Tyler laughed.

“Or before most of us knew,” Dustin added. “Some of them met in, what, ninth grade? By tenth grade we were pretty close-knit. And then the name came up.”

Roman cackled as he leaned in. “It was Nico and me that came up with that. So, we didn’t want to take girls to the prom one year. We wanted to go as a group of single guys, but they wanted couples. So they could plan, I don’t know, whatever dancing you need couples for. Square-dancing? No, that’s like swinging.”

Josh put his face in his palm. “Jesus. Square-dancing isn’t—swinging—swing dance… I don’t think you even know what you say half the time.”

“Anyway,” Roman brushed him off. “We get to the door and they ask where our dates are. We point at each other. They give us that look—you know, the one back then in Tennessee. Or today in Tennessee. Like they know we’re all flaming queers. This lady sits up all prim and proper and purses her lips and goes—”

Tyler interrupted, pitching his voice up, “We can only admit men with their significant others.” He snorted. “Like we couldn’t have been significant others. They wouldn’t have admitted gay people even existed back then, though. Fucking shits.”

“So Nico says—”

Nico laughed as everyone looked at him. “What about significant brothers?”

“And we got in, and it stuck,” Dustin chuckled quietly. “The whole school called us that before long.”

Nico was watching Deen sideways in between others speaking, like he couldn’t quite believe he was there. And the guys kept giving him furtive grins.

It was almost embarrassing for Deen, but he tried hard not to blush. He knew it would only make the teasing worse.

“Then we started meeting up again couple years ago, to get back in touch, and never stopped. We all haul ass into town at least every couple months. Those of us who live closer and aren’t literal hermits,” Roman eyed Nico, “catch up every couple weeks.”

I can see the appeal of slowing down for a group of friends like this. Deen nodded, looking around at them. He couldn’t remember anyone from school he’d want to see again, let alone keep in touch with.

“All right, all right,” Nico laughed. “I know. I don’t have any excuse.”

“You got one pretty good one, actually.” Josh smirked and nodded at Deen.

Nico turned red and cleared his throat. “So, how are things?”

“Been better,” Josh grumbled. “Trying to get tradesmen to actually show up is like trying to stuff a squid into a Coke can.”

“Did you know octopi can—” Blane cut himself off when Josh glared at him. “Oh. Shit. Sorry. I’m a vet, comes with the turf.”

“I know more about weird exotic animals than I ever thought I would,” Tyler complained. “Go on, Josh.”

“Nah, that’s it.” Josh brushed it off casually in that manly way, like he was afraid of being caught complaining. “Since you’re desperate to share the news, what’s new at the zoo, Blane?”

“We had four meerkat pups last week.”

There was a chorus of manly “aw” noises and approving head nods, and Deen joined in. “The Knoxville zoo?”

“That’s the one,” Blane nodded. “I’m normally more of a big animal vet, but it’s a small zoo, so we share tasks. Keeping them all fed and out of trouble is a hard job. Poor mom’s got a couple friends helping out, though. They’re very social animals, so they help each other a lot. It’s sweet to watch.”

“And all doing well?” Nico asked.

“Yep. One was a little small at birth but she’s caught up fast,” Blane told them.

Roman grinned. “Speaking of breeding, there’s my news…” Everyone groaned while Deen, caught by surprise, laughed. “No, seriously, I met someone cool in Singapore. Problem is, he’s in Singapore…”

“Are you gonna start trying to stay there longer?”

“I dunno.” Roman’s brow furrowed and he folded his arms. “It’s a tough call. Knoxville is home, you know? And I’m not really a Skype kinda guy.”

Deen was quiet for a moment. That one stung. Then, Nico’s hand rested gently on his shoulder as conversation moved on.

“Ty? You’ve got a big race coming up, don’t you?”

“Don’t remind me,” Tyler groaned and swigged his beer. “I’m only going for the afterparty.”

“Oh, you’ll do great,” Blane told him, cuffing him upside the head.

“He’s right,” Dustin added. “Don’t be self-deprecating.”

“Don’t use big words,” Tyler grumbled. “What about you?”

Dustin shook his head as the gazes of the group shifted to him for the first time. “Literally nothing new.” They didn’t press him, and that seemed to suit him just fine. Deen didn’t blame him for sitting back and watching when so many loud personalities were around the table.

“Well, I’ve been pretty busy with this guy,” Nico spoke up when it seemed like Dustin wasn’t sharing.

“Here we go,” Roman smirked. “Is he bending over backwards to make your park stay enjoyable?”

Deen laughed loudly as Nico mock-punched Roman under the table.

“I didn’t mean it that way. Just showing him around the trails and… stuff,” Nico told them, then frowned. “And the arson’s getting worse. I barely got this day off. I’m on double patrols until the park cops catch them.”

“Oh, fuck,” Josh groaned. “Idiot tourists?”

“We don’t know. It looks pretty deliberate by this point,” Nico answered grimly while Deen nodded. “But there’s no way to know until we find them. And it’s beyond ridiculous that we haven’t even come across any suspects yet. They should be so obvious.”

“That sucks, man. I had a bunch of them smoking down by the hay bales yesterday. Jesus. It’s like people lose the ability to think sometimes.”

Deen winced. “You from a farm, then?” He was slowly putting together pieces of the puzzle. The farmer’s tan on Josh made sense in that light.

“Oh. Shit, yeah. I own this place—tourist ranch—about halfway between Nico’s stomping ground and here.” Josh shrugged. “It ain’t much, but it’s mine.”

Nico rubbed his back in a silent apology. “You already know Blane’s a vet, Roman’s a pilot, Ty’s a professional driver. And Dustin’s a forensic investigator… or something fancy like that.”

“Close enough,” Dustin smiled modestly.

“Cool. Damn.” Deen sat back, looking around at them all. “You’ve all got such cool careers.”

“Says the internationally-known rock star,” Josh mumbled into his beer, and everyone laughed.

Deen cast him a quick smile. “Yeah, but… I guess that gets old for me sometimes. Everyone else’s job seems more predictable, or at least more sustainable. But don’t mind me. First world problems,” he laughed, suddenly feeling self-conscious. It was hard to complain about his life around anyone else without being called a whiny, ungrateful asshole, or at least feeling like one.

“Are you taking time off to do this forest thing?” Blane asked.

“Yeah. My manager thought I needed a break. Record label wants another album out ASAP, though, so… no rest for the wicked once I get back next week.”

His stomach turned. Next week.

All of this could be so fleeting. This could just be Nico’s experiment with having a boyfriend—hell, just tonight could be his experiment. As perfect as every moment spent together felt, they were in a bubble that was thinner every day as real life scraped along the outside.

And in a week, it would break.

His mouth was suddenly dry, and he finished his beer. “I’ll get everyone a pint. Back in a minute.”

“I’ll come with,” Nico offered, despite his protests, and slipped his hand into Deen’s to walk the twenty feet to the bar with him.

That alone settled Deen’s mind, even as his gaze darted around. He’d played up and down the country for long enough that he knew the south wasn’t the worst place to be visibly gay, but it still worried him at times. But this was Knoxville. He felt okay here, and especially in this bar, with half a dozen beefcakes to back them up.

“You’re doing great,” Nico murmured, tangling his hand in the hair at the back of his head for a moment before touching his back again.

“What?” Deen was a bit unsettled. “I mean… yeah. I was nervous, but…”

“You have a few tells. Don’t play poker,” Nico winked.

Deen’s cheeks heated up and he flipped Nico off, then leaned in as the bartender approached and ordered their round.

Nico glanced back at the table, then over to him, and touched his hand again. “Are you okay with this?”

“Yeah.” Deen licked his lips and swallowed hard, not sure how to explain what was on his mind. This wasn’t the right moment for a where are we going? conversation. “Yeah, I like it. It’s just… new.”

“I know what you mean,” Nico murmured. He dropped his gaze to the bar, and Deen’s heart sank. When Nico tried to drop his hand, Deen reached out to take it, gently sliding his fingers between his.

He didn’t care how long this was going to last, or why Nico wanted him at his side. All that mattered was that he did right now, and Deen had to grab these moments with both hands. For their own sake, but also… in case they never came again.

Nico was looking at him again, startled this time. “You’re really fine with…? But there could be fans, or… whatever.”

“Fuck that. If you’re fine with it, I am,” Deen murmured.

The smile Nico gave him was its own reward.

A scraping noise interrupted Deen’s thoughts. The bartender slid the last of their opened bottles toward them. Deen scooped up four in one hand, tangling them in his fingers and squeezing Nico’s hand so he couldn’t let go.

Nico laughed, eyeing the remaining three. “Challenge accepted.” He carefully gathered them up one-handed, one neck at a time, and then laughed. “You ridiculous man.”

Deen winked. “I aim to be memorable.”

As they headed back over to the table, Nico squeezed his hand. “Always.”

22

Nico

With the windows halfway down, the cool evening air rushing into Nico’s beat-up old Jeep ruffled his hair. Deen’s was stuck up at an awkward angle for maybe the first time since he’d met him, and Nico loved it. It was like he was going wild himself.

They’d wound up staying at the bar for a good four hours, long enough that those two beers were out of his system. After hours in these guys’ company, it always felt like old times: hanging out in his parents’ basement or the top level of the playground after the younger kids had gone to bed.

“That went okay,” Deen said, breaking the first brief silence that had fallen since they started the drive back to the park.

“Just okay?” Nico grinned at him, drumming his fingers on the gear shift. “I think it went more than okay.”

“They liked me?”

“Dude, they love you,” Nico laughed. Was that what had been worrying Deen? It sounded so strange to him, that a guy like Deen would be worried people didn’t like him, but it hinted that this was something different to Deen, too. Just like he’d said, it was new terrain.

All of this was, for both of them.

Deen tentatively rested a hand on Nico’s, and Nico gave him an encouraging smile.

With the open air, the stars creeping out of the blackening blue that stretched to the horizon, it felt strangely like they were alone, even if other cars passed them now and then. It seemed like the right moment to say it.

“So, uh, I should probably apologize.”

Deen made a startled sound. “For what? Your jokes weren’t that bad.”

“For freaking out at you the other day, when you Googled me.” Nico had been holding this one in for days now, trying to figure out the best way to say it.

Deen was looking right at him now, his brows furrowed. “You didn’t, exactly.”

“I sort of did.” Nico gave him a quick sidelong glance. “You don’t have to spare my feelings. I know I did. And I shouldn’t have.”

“Okay,” Deen breathed out quietly, rubbing Nico’s hand.

Nico cleared his throat. “I’ve spent a long time… running away, I guess. From the old life I had, from my job. From everything that reminded me of it.”

I was kind of right about him. Deen swallowed hard. “You seem happy now, though.”

“More or less. But then something comes up and reminds me that I’m… I’m not good enough anymore.” Nico kept his eyes on the road for unexpected obstacles, for drivers too reckless and lazy to use their turn signals, for wildlife seeking to avoid hawks by darting in front of cars to cross the open expanse of pavement… Anything to avoid making eye contact with Deen. “And I know you’ll say that’s bullshit, but it feels like it sometimes.”

“It is bullshit, though,” Deen murmured, squeezing Nico’s hand. “Jesus. You do the job just fine.”

“Unless something comes up, and I wrench my shoulder out, and then I spend a couple days feeling like shit because they had to cut off my mission early and spend so many thousands on surgery to try to fix me up, and it still didn’t work.” Nico’s voice was tight as he pulled his hand away and closed both firmly around the steering wheel, but he refused to acknowledge it. Crying about it wouldn’t help anyone.

Deen was quiet, and Nico sensed he was letting him speak.

Just as well. He hadn’t said this to anyone. Nico drew a breath, then let it out. “So being reminded of all that… yeah. It sucks.”

“You saved a career and, more importantly, a life, though.”

Nico rolled his eyes. If only anyone knew the truth. “Yeah, and the guy’s alive to keep being a twit.”

Deen started to laugh, and the sound made Nico smile despite himself. “You still did it. Don’t underrate yourself.”

“Anyone would have,” Nico told Deen. “It’s just I was the only one who could have, at that moment.”

“You’re underrating yourself again.” Deen’s voice was soft and warm, and it made Nico blush. He couldn’t come up with an answer for that.

Instead, Nico cleared his throat and glanced up. “That bright star there? Just rising? That’s not a star, it’s actually Venus.”

Deen grinned at him. “I’ll let you do that now and then,” he teased.

Nico pretended not to know what he was talking about. “Sure. Hey, do we need any groceries?”

“Your cupboard has endless tins of beans. I’m pretty sure you’re the bean genie.” He started humming a tune that Nico recognized within a few notes: Bowie’s Jean Genie.

Nico cracked up despite himself, and Deen joined in for a minute. As silence settled again, it was comfortable.

At last, Nico broke the moment. “You’re right. I’m lucky I walked away.” He put the back of his hand on the gearshift.

Deen took the invitation, lacing their fingers together. “And with a head full of interesting facts.”

“I spent a long time trying to tell myself at any cost that I wasn’t disabled, trying to… you know, prove myself. But, shit, it’s not like being disabled is a death sentence. It doesn’t mean anything about me. Well, no. I think it does…” Nico tried to sort out his thoughts as he talked, but only getting them into the air first seemed to make them make sense. “It’s affected me today, it’s made me who I am in some ways. So I guess it’s part of me, but it’s not all of me.”

“Mmhmm.” Deen squeezed his hand.

Nico gave him a quick sidelong glance. “It seems really obvious when I put it like that.”

“Most things that seem obvious in hindsight aren’t in the moment. Life would be too easy that way.”

“I wish life were easier for more people sometimes,” Nico chuckled. “It seems to be for me. Well, it was…”

He saw it in his peripheral vision: Deen’s gaze shifted from the darkening sky over to him. “What do you mean?”

Nico swallowed hard. Don’t fuck this one up. He chose his words carefully. “I thought it was easy: just run away and live in the woods. Do my job well. Make a difference. And to some extent, yeah, it is. It’s nearly drama-free, except for work antics sometimes. But then…”

His heart pounded. He was positive that Deen could feel beads of sweat forming on his palm now, which made him even more self-conscious.

“Hm?”

“But then there was you.” The Smokies were closer now, growing on the horizon like his own dawning realization of his feelings.

This was way too far. He’d already made Deen come meet his best friends, who were probably convinced they were about to get married since he’d never introduced a boyfriend to them before. It seemed like they were deliberately trying to avoid the conversation, and here he was blundering into it again.

“Anyway,” Nico pointedly continued, squeezing Deen’s hand, “I’m glad you made it today.”

“Me, too.” Deen was looking at him curiously, studying him.

Nico didn’t want to ask what he was looking for, because that would take them right down the same path. Instead, he said, “Won’t be long now.”

“No. It won’t.”

The way Deen spoke gave Nico the impression he was answering in more than one sense.

He let go of Deen’s hand to turn on his high-beams, then scratched his chin to hide his smile.

Clever bastard. And I love him for it.

* * *

If anyone had asked him twenty minutes ago, Nico would have said nothing could ruin his mood.

Now, though? It was nearly midnight and they’d just pulled into the parking lot, only to find chaos.

A corner of the parking lot had been taken over by several camper vans, but mostly hatchbacks and other small urbanite cars. Bob was looking incredibly unimpressed, standing with folded arms and confronting three or four of the car occupants.

The rest, all looking like teens or twenty-somethings, were gathered around their vehicles, some with camping gear on their backs.

The sight of the car—or, more specifically, of them—seemed to galvanize them into action. Suddenly, two or three camera flashes went off.

Nico figured it out immediately: fans.

He was honestly surprised they hadn’t come earlier. Deen hadn’t been subtle about where he was, and from his brief Googling, he’d discovered that Deen was pretty popular in the real world.

“Nico,” Bob called out.

For once, Nico was in casual clothes rather than his uniform, but the job was in his blood. “Wait here,” he told Deen and slammed the car door shut, striding over to join his colleague. “What can I help you folks with?”

“You’re Nico, aren’t you? Deen’s guide?” one of them asked, pushing his hair behind his ear.

Guide? Nico was already unimpressed. He worked a lot harder and did a lot less stupid shit than some of the “guides” around here. Sure, others were pros, but tourists never knew which were which. “I’m a ranger here at the Smoky Mountains National Park, yes,” he answered coolly.

“We just wanted to come camp. This guy’s telling us we can’t.”

“They want one of the backcountry sites, but they’re not equipped for it,” Bob explained succinctly.

“Tell you what,” Nico said, turning to them again. “Take a frontcountry site. We got spots open tonight?”

Bob nodded. “One of the group campgrounds would be fine for this size group. If they’ve all got enough tents.”

“If you really want a more outdoorsy experience, there’s tomorrow night. I’ll come talk to you in the morning,” Nico promised, making sure it didn’t sound too much like an invitation up to where they were. “So, what’s the tent situation?”

“There’s enough space. We can make it work,” one of the group leaders told them, glancing back at Nico’s car. “But we really wanted to meet… Deen.”

Deen was getting out of the car.

Shit.

Nico shifted, prepared to put himself between the people approaching them from the cars and Deen if need be. There were probably fourteen of them, on a quick headcount.

Bob leaned in and murmured, “And we wondered why the fires were picking up, moving toward your area?”

Shit. No way. Nico had to consider it as a possibility, even if he rejected it moments later. “It started before them. Hasn’t been enough media attention for copycats.”

More camera flashes. Actual, honest-to-god squealing, and not just from the young women in the group. One of the group leaders looked like he was going to faint now that Deen was just twenty feet away.

“What’s going on here?” Deen asked.

They were crowding close, reaching out to shake hands, turning backward to take selfies, even at this hour. Shit, they wouldn’t even be able to see anything on the photos.

“Okay, okay,” Nico interrupted before anyone could get their hands directly on Deen. He stepped in front of Deen, his chin up and gaze forward, defying them to reach around him or take more photos. “It’s late. We’re all tired. Bob, are you showing them to the campground? Like I said, I’ll be down in the morning.”

“I’ll come by, too,” Deen promised. “When I have my good face on.”

A ripple of laughter went through the group. Suddenly, they seemed much more receptive to the idea of staying down here for the first night.

“Thanks for coming by to see me, guys.” Deen sidestepped around Nico to reach out and shake hands with everyone who offered theirs, clasping his other hand around the back of each person’s hand.

He seemed genuinely as sweet and sincere here as he did to Nico most of the time—none of that stage attitude. It was the right approach to take.

“Man, we drove for eleven hours to get here,” one young woman in a tight black band t-shirt with Deen’s face on it told him. She was shaking slightly as he paused with her hand in his, then shook hands again.

“Thank you. Man, that’s so sweet of you guys. But I’m gonna crash, and nobody looks good with flash photography at midnight.” Deen winked at her, then smiled at the rest of them. “I’ll be down with Nico in the morning, all right? I’ll tell you some of my favorite hiking routes down here, too. Get some sleep.” He raised his hand in a wave.

As Nico stepped back, he could feel the displeasure still radiating from Bob in waves. He was gonna get so much shit for this in the morning.

He led Deen quickly up to the ATV, barely waiting until their helmets were on before taking off along the trail in a roar of engine fumes.

Nico wasn’t even sure what was making him so tense, but only when their cabins were in view did the tension drain from him. It left him exhausted, and not in the contented way he’d been before the parking lot confrontation.

He wasn’t going to be good company that night, so he mumbled, “Good night,” and raised a hand in a quick wave.

Nico tried to ignore the hurt expression that flickered across Deen’s face. “Night?” his boyfriend answered, a little uptick at the end of the syllable.

That moment was the last thing Nico really remembered before he hit the bed. It replayed in his mind for the few seconds it took sleep to claim him.

23

Deen

Fame had its price. Every damn time Deen forgot about that fact, it had to smack him in the face.

Nico had gotten scared off again, plain and simple. It was morning, but Deen felt like he’d barely slept the night. And now he had to go meet a bunch of fans and not look so hideous Bryan would call and tell him they were launching a concealer line with his name on it.

Not like he wasn’t used to that state—up half the night, meeting fans or press early the next morning—but it had been a while.

And for the first time, it wasn’t a thrill for his ego to be the center of attention. He could actually sort of get why Nico didn’t want any of it.

When there was a knock on the door, he jumped to his feet to answer it so fast that his arms windmilled and he almost fell flat on his face. He caught his balance and sprinted the few paces to the door, then cleared his throat and tried to open it with a sense of dignity.

Nico stood there in that sexy ranger uniform, half-smiling at him. “You look like crap.”

“Don’t spare the romance,” Deen pretended to swoon and held the door open for Nico to step in.

Once it was closed, Nico’s shoulders relaxed a little, like he was in the fucking Buckingham Palace guard and he’d just stepped into the barracks. Out of the eye of the public.

Had Nico even seen that in person? God, the places Deen wanted to take him. But that led him back to the big issue: them.

Or… apparently it wasn’t an issue, because Nico’s hands were on his hips, tugging him close for a long, slow “good morning” kiss.

At least, that was what he hoped the kiss said. “Good morning,” he murmured when they finally pulled apart, just to confirm. Nico winked at him, and he relaxed. “How’d you sleep?”

“Better than you, it looks like,” Nico admitted. “My patrol starts in an hour, though. We gotta get down to the campground, if that’s… still on your to-do list.”

Deen chuckled under his breath. “Of course it is. I promised them it was.”

“And you don’t break your promises, do you?” Nico smiled at him. He was so much warmer than last night. It was late and he was grumpy, that’s all, Deen reminded himself.

“I… try not to,” Deen muttered, blushing under the scrutiny. “C’mon, whatever. Let’s go.”

“That’s what I said.” Nico pinched his ass on the way by.

Deen tried to reciprocate, but Nico was like a fucking ninja considering his size—he was already out the door.

“Good thing I let you get away with that,” Deen teased.

“But not the fans, right?”

Deen didn’t even have to play at it—the gasp slipped naturally out. “You’re jealous.”

“Hmmh,” Nico grunted. He shoved his helmet on and tossed Deen’s at him, making Deen fumble to catch it. “Get on. We got places to be.”

Deen snuggled up as close to Nico as he could, wrapping himself around his back as Nico started the ATV. “I love that jealous face,” he teased, then clung on for dear life as Nico roared across the clearing to the trailhead.

With the tension of last night dispelled, teasing Nico was really fucking fun.

* * *

He was in his element. The moment the ATV puttered into the clearing of the group campground Bob had sent the little expedition to, Deen knew what he was doing.

“Hey, guys!” He shook his head to orient himself after he pulled his helmet off and set it on the back of the ATV.

A chorus of greetings met him in return. The small crowd that had gathered seemed even bigger, but calmer, than it had the night before. Nobody was shy or exhausted or frantic to get that one chance to see him.

“How was your night?” Deen strolled up to start hugging and posing for selfies while Nico lingered by the ATV to supervise.

“My tent leaked water, but it didn’t even rain!” someone complained, and he laughed and pulled the guy in for a hug.

“Sorry about that. Dew water?”

“I think so. Nothing like waking up damp.”

The guy was cute. Normally, Deen would have come back with an innuendo a few seconds later, setting himself up to pick him up later, but now… he was just cute.

Don’t start thinking about Nico. The urge was irresistible, though. He glanced over at his boyfriend again, amused to see him wandering closer in a would-be casual way but watching his interactions like a hawk.

“Guys, this is Nico. He’s taught me how to walk without snapping twigs… and rescued my ass.”

Another round of greetings met Nico, who blushed and waved slightly in return.

“So, what brings you guys here?” Deen asked once he’d signed everything shoved under his nose.

“You, mainly,” said the apparent leader—Ricky—with a self-conscious chuckle. He had tight jeans and a tight t-shirt on—Deen’s style. Or at least, it had been before he lived in the woods. Now he wore looser jeans and a t-shirt—more comfortable for long ATV rides. “We’re on a fan forum and I organized this to, like, meet each other in real life.”

“And now we’re kind of buddies.” A woman who’d been lingering in the background since she got a hug from him spoke up, her hand on another’s shoulder. “I found out ’Tasha lives just the next neighborhood over in Nashville.”

“Oh, that’s awesome!” Deen enthused. He knew he was beaming, but he didn’t mind being warm and friendly in small groups. His pouty persona was more for the stage. “I’m so impressed. How far did you guys come from?”

“The furthest is Kathy, she’s from Oregon.”

“Oh my God, really?” Deen gasped. “Not just for the weekend?”

“And the rest of the week, some of us. That’s why we’re going further into the woods. Staying here for a week would be boring. No offense,” Ricky quickly told Nico.

Deen glanced at Nico, his lips quirking into a smile. Before Nico could interrupt and tell them about the fascinating biospheres of the lower Smokies, he shrugged. “Well, there’s a campground up near the ranger station where I’ve been staying…” Nico shifted next to him.

“Yeah!” Ricky grinned. “Is there space? Can we pack up and head there?”

“It’s a long hike,” Nico warned, his tone suddenly clipped. “And I have to get to my patrol soon, Deen.”

What the hell was that about?

“Okay. I’ll stay here, show the guys here the trail.”

“Deen Jayse: rock star turned trail guide,” Nico quipped, making the others laugh, but he was tense behind his smile.

Deen was suddenly reminded of how little he knew Nico. He reckoned he knew Nico’s heart, and that was half the battle, but actually figuring out what was going through his head? Conjecture and speculation.

He couldn’t ask Nico what was up here, in front of everyone, so all he said was, “Have a good patrol. When will you be back?”

“Depends what I find out there.”

“Hopefully a quiet shift.”

“I hope I catch the perps,” Nico answered as he headed back to the ATV, storing the second helmet and sliding his on. “That’ll go a long way to restoring the peace around here.”

“Stay safe, then.” Deen waved, his heart aching a little that he didn’t get to give Nico a goodbye kiss.

Behind him, he heard the excited whispers, and that brought him back to the moment. He still couldn’t quite believe sometimes that people knew him, let alone traveled for hours and sometimes paid a lot of money to come see him. That reaffirmed his decision, even if he didn’t know what Nico’s problem was yet. The least he could do was make it worthwhile—that was his job.

Time to give these kids a memory they’ll never forget.

24

Nico

The ATV lurched under Nico as he took the rough spot at the top of the trail a little harder than necessary. He shifted his weight automatically, keeping his shoulders down and back so he didn’t irritate the shoulder that had only just stopped aching.

Still, the rush of adrenaline was what he needed to focus on his job and not on the stupid kids who would soon be swarming the upper trails, making it harder than ever to find the arsonists.

“It’s not like they couldn’t camp somewhere else,” he mumbled, guiding the ATV gently around a few large branches before getting off to haul them off the trail. “But no. Has to be in our front yard.”

His radio crackled and he grabbed it from his belt and brought it to his ear. “Come again?”

It was Bob, wanting to know where he was. Instantly, Nico’s mind went to the worst. The campers had been hiking up with Deen, after all…

“What happened?”

“Nothing. Whoa, someone’s jumpy. Meet me at the old logger trailhead.”

“Roger.”

Bob was waiting for him as he pulled to the side of the clearing and shut off his machine. “What’s up with our new campers?”

Nico almost groaned. He should have expected Bob to corner him about this. Not that he could blame him—they’d kept him up late sorting out their plans, after all.

He trusted Deen to make sure they had adequate supplies after all, or picked more up before they made it into the deep woods.

“Deen suggested they stay close to us, where we can keep an eye on them.” Well, that hadn’t exactly been Deen’s reasoning, but it was the best spin he could put on it so Bob didn’t complain to him about Deen’s very presence.

“That’s a great idea! If they have to be around at all, at least let him deal with them.” Bob laughed. “I don’t really get the idea of fans, you know? Like, who’d be crazy enough to drive hours and hours on the off-chance they might run into some guy on TV?”

Nico’s irritation was growing by the moment, and he fought to keep a lid on it. “Right. Well, we always say we’re hermits and bound to miss pop culture references.”

“You know he swings both ways, right?” Bob smirked.

“Yeah. And?”

Bob raised an eyebrow at Nico’s firm but cool retort. “Nothing, man. Just saying. Don’t drop the soap, if you know what I mean.”

“We’re wasting time when we could be patrolling,” Nico told him, his patience finally worn too thin. “Seen anyone likely today?”

“Just the usual hikers. Nobody carrying gas cans and matches under my nose.”

Nico nodded grimly. “Me neither. I’m taking off to check out this trail, and after lunch I’ll make sure they’re set up at the campground. They were gonna leave early this morning, so they should get there around then.”

His phone went off, and he ignored it for now.

“Right, right.” Bob slid his helmet back on as if reluctant.

Do some actual work, you lazy ass. Nico was well aware of his temper today and doing his best not to take it out on anyone. “See you.” He started up his engine and roared off before Bob could stick any more pinpricks of irritation into his already-riddled nerves.

* * *

He smelled it before he saw it, and his heart nearly stopped.

“Shit!”

As he muscled the ATV around the last corner to the clearing where his cabin and Deen’s cabin had fucking better still be standing, Nico took in the scene quickly.

Just two scorched trees—both old trees, too, not young saplings. Both the fires were put out, and the mop bucket from his cabin was still standing, half-full, next to it.

Voices met him next as he shut off the engine.

“Nico?” That was Deen, and he looked relieved. “I tried texting.”

Shit. He’d been so annoyed after Bob that he hadn’t thought to check his messages. “I’m sorry. Goddammit,” he hissed under his breath. Deen could have been in serious trouble—he and the campers could have run into problems…

Deen saw the worry in his face and approached, one hand held out as if to hold him by the hip. But, as he neared Nico, he dropped his hand.

It was a stinging reminder of their lack of privacy henceforth.

No way did Deen want to be publicly linked with him on fan forums and, very soon, the wider internet.

And that meant no more surprising him with good morning kisses on the trailhead, tempting him to skinny-dip, lying in his arms and stargazing…

Nico’s mood sank even further. “What the fuck happened?” His suspicions instantly turned to the fans he’d met that morning, a few of whom were approaching now.

“We got here and found this.”

Can’t blame them, then. Nico kept his voice low. “You were with all of them?”

Deen nodded. “Not a chance.”

“Fuck. There goes my easy explanation.”

Deen patted Nico’s shoulder and kept his hand there. “It’s all fine, though.”

“It’s in front of our cabins. It’s fucking not fine,” Nico hissed, already fumbling with his radio to make his calls.

“Nobody was hurt.”

“They could have been." And worse, Nico’s very home could have been damaged. It didn’t look like the arsonist was working with any level of malicious intent or skill, since he’d chosen these trees and not the cabins, but…

It also felt like a warning. To choose these ones, within sight of the cabins, and not any old spot in the woods?

Or a taunt. Nico gritted his teeth.

“Are you okay? Babe,” Deen murmured.

“Don’t call me that.”

The others had paused and were keeping their distance now, slowly wandering back toward the campground where the other voices came from.

Great. It looked like a couples’ fight now.

Deen looked confused, then hurt. He took half a step back and folded his arms. “Oh.”

“Not with your new guests around,” Nico muttered. “Unless you really wanna trumpet this across the hills.”

Deen’s expression shifted. “We should talk about this.”

“Now’s not a great time.” Nico had his finger over the radio call button pointedly, and Deen raised his hands, then stepped back to wander closer to the cabins again.

The investigator was on his way, and thank God, Jeff was going to come up and help check out the area instead of Bob. That meant less time trying to deflect Bob’s snarky comments. And honestly, Nico was about ready to tell someone around here what was going on. Of all people, aside from his band of friends, Jeff would get it.

Once he was done, he started pacing back and forth as he searched for signs of any discarded items, gas can lids, or hell, tire tracks that weren’t his own.

Deen’s voice finally pierced the haze of annoyance and frustration and fear that weighed on Nico. “Can I help?”

“Just go inside. Get lunch.”

“You need to eat, too.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not.”

“Fuck off,” Nico snorted. “I’m fine. I managed just fine—”

“It’s a sandwich. It won’t get cold. Come inside as soon as you can.” Deen’s voice was firm and no-nonsense.

Nico shook his head tightly, the words coming out even as he tried to stop them. Now was not the time. “I’m not okay with this.”

“I know. The other reason you need to come in and talk.”

Nico finally looked up and met Deen’s gaze. It was serious, unflinching, but not severe.

They stood like that for a minute, gazing at each other, trying to read each other’s emotions. For Deen’s sake, Nico tried to fight back his anger.

It’s not his fault this is all going on at the same time as his fandom crew… and he wasn’t thinking about the impact on us when he invited them up. Or was he? Yeah. He’s right.

“Fine,” Nico finally breathed out. It wasn’t admitting the argument was over, but it was a truce.

Deen squeezed Nico’s shoulder again, his gaze flickering to Nico’s lips. “Are you off until tomorrow morning, soon? No emergency patrols or anything?”

“Yeah. Suppertime until patrol tomorrow morning.”

“Okay.” Deen’s eyes were still on Nico’s lips, making him flush with heat.

But a rumble in the distance made them both flinch. Instead of leaning in to press their lips together, Deen pulled back and waved slightly, then headed for Nico’s cabin.

Everything’s changing. Might as well come to terms with that now.

Before Deen had come, Nico had had a job to do. After he left, he’d still have a job to do. All he could do was focus on that job now, and do it as best he could.

Even if he really, really wasn’t okay with any of this.

25

Deen

The afternoon was half-gone before Nico shouldered his way through the cabin door, setting Deen’s heart suddenly racing.

He looked up from his laptop sheepishly, hoping Nico wasn’t going to be annoyed that he was stealing all the power from their sunny week by charging all his cameras at once.

Goddamn. Nico was stiff-shouldered, his brows pulling together to wrinkle in the middle of his forehead.

“So, about that lunch.”

“Too late. I ate all the sandwiches,” Deen teased, pushing himself up from the table to head to the mini-fridge.

“What?” It took Nico a few seconds, but then he let out a huffy, breathed laugh. “Oh. Jerk.”

“Yeah, I am.” Deen winked, taking the chance to look at Nico again. He still looked stressed as hell. “Did the investigator… finish investigating?”

“Preliminarily finished, anyway.”

“And?”

“Probably the same person or people. The fires aren’t spreading because they’re using minimal amounts of igniting fluid. Which makes sense, or we’d have found hikers carrying gas cans, you know?”

Deen nodded as he brought sandwiches back to the table, then poured water for Nico. “Right. And no clues left behind?”

“Still nothing. We’re thinking it’s a runner, in order to get away so fast every time, but… hard to tell. Can’t be on a motorized vehicle, we watch for them. We’re the only ones allowed on ATVs.”

“Right. So someone who can escape fast,” Deen mused, frowning. “Runners could bring just a little gas or whatever in their fanny packs, huh? Do you get a lot of them?”

“No. We haven’t seen any recently this far up. It’s just…” Nico trailed off, his voice strained as he dropped into his chair and braced his elbows on the table, his chin on his fists.

Deen scooted his chair closer to Nico’s and rested his hand on his back. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s a lot of pressure.”

“All the fucking campers, and Bob, and fires everywhere, and you’re… I mean…”

Deen caught his breath. “Mm?”

Nico shook his head and dug into his sandwich, so Deen waited patiently for a few minutes, not filling the silence, to force Nico to speak first.

At last, when both sandwiches were devoured, Nico turned to Deen. “And I can’t even enjoy your last couple days here.” He looked down at Deen, then reached out slowly to take his hand.

Deen swallowed hard and nodded, squeezing Nico’s fingers. Just when they’d been creeping closer to something tangible, something that might outlast his trip here, real life had interrupted. He didn’t blame the fans—he understood how exciting this was for them—but it did sort of piss him off that Nico was being pushed into the limelight before he was ready.

“I’m sorry I dragged you into my… crazy life. I got you something to make up for it.”

Nico looked up at him again, lacing their fingers. “What?”

“I know you don’t want fans knowing about us, and—”

“No.”

Deen closed his mouth, which was hanging open. “Huh?”

“I don’t give a shit who knows about us.” Nico was looking right at Deen. “I don’t. When we agreed to be boyfriends, I… I assumed that meant it might come out sometime.”

“I thought…” Deen trailed off, then cleared his throat. Nico was looking curiously at him. “I thought you wanted to hide it. The whole media attention thing.”

Nico drew a breath, then nodded toward the couch.

This was promising. This meant he was ready to talk. Deen leapt to his feet a little too quickly, earning him an amused smile from Nico. They settled together, Deen’s shoulder pressing into Nico’s, fingers laced again, thighs touching.

“I know how to handle the media. I might not like it, but I can do it,” Nico told him gently. “I know it might worry you, and your people, not being in control of the story… but they can train me on what you don’t want me to say, too.”

Deen’s heart was thumping so hard he was sure Nico could feel it. “You mean, if kept doing this…”

“There’s a condition.” Nico watched him with a frown. “I don’t want to be your boy toy, or your sugar… boy? Whatever that would be.”

“Oh my God. No. You’re not.” Deen almost laughed at the idea. “You have one of the most independent lives of anyone I know.”

“That’s why you like me, isn’t it?” Nico watched him with those unnervingly perceptive eyes. Nico was a whole lot smarter than he let people assume.

Deen’s cheeks flushed, and then he nodded. “It’s nice to have my ego taken down a few pegs.”

“I’ll do my best to continue deflating it.”

Deen laughed under his breath.

“What did you get me?” Nico’s brows drew together. “And where from, for God’s sake? It’s not like there’s a florist on the corner.”

Deen laughed again, louder. “No. Um. I thought, if you didn’t want to be around the campers…” Nico grumbled something under his breath, and Deen laughed. “I rented us one of the private cabins for a night.”

Nico stared at him for a few moments, first frowning, and then relaxing into a smile. “You really… That’s not… Deen.”

“It’s the least I can do, after inviting a horde of kids and their cases of beer up here.”

Nico groaned and banged his head on the table. “Really? You let them bring cases of beer?”

“Helped carry them. Yeah. It wasn’t entirely selfless to want to escape the party tonight,” Deen laughed, tangling his hand in the hair at the back of Nico’s head and rubbing. Nico moaned under his breath at the neck massage, so Deen continued, pressing his fingers into the knots of tension to unwind them.

“You ass.”

Deen snickered. “I solve the problems I make. Most of the time. Sort of.” Nico turned his head sideways to eye him, and it made him laugh. “Except when I get stuck in ravines.”

Nico shook his head slightly. “It’s a good thing I love you, you fucking dolt.”

Deen stopped short, fingers lightly resting on the nape of Nico’s neck. “Yeah?” After all this uncertainty between them, the awkward steps of two men who knew the dance might be coming to an end in a few short days, he hadn’t expected those words to be the ones he needed to hear the most.

“Of course I do.” Nico pushed himself up, his gaze seriously meeting Deen’s. “You’re used to hearing that people love you, but they don’t know you. They just know what they see in music videos, in interviews. When you’re turned on—job-wise, not that way, you dirty bastard.”

Deen snickered, trying to hide the way his heart twisted sharply at Nico’s words.

“But you let me in.”

Deen’s throat was tight. “Yeah.”

“And I liked what I found.”

It hit way too close to home for Deen’s comfort. “Can we… head to the cabin now?” His voice was smaller than he expected.

Nico wrapped his arm around Deen and pulled him in until Deen sat on his lap, then almost crushed his ribs in a hug. “Yeah, baby. Let me tell Jeff. I’ll skip off early, and then I’ll show you every damn way I love you.”

Deen was pretty sure he managed to muffle the sniff in Nico’s shoulder, but his heart banged against his ribs as Nico’s fingers smoothed down the back of his shirt and rested in the small of his back, pulling him in until he felt grounded—whole—lovable.

Whatever he’d done, however at odds it was with Nico’s lifestyle, Nico didn’t seem to care.

He didn’t expect Deen to be anything other than what he was. He treated him the same whether he was in rock star mode or normal person mode—without the overawed reverence of someone who thought the world turned around him just because some people paid him money to sing.

And that normalcy… Deen had been striving for more and more outrageous, always trying to figure out what could satisfy that gap in his life. All this time, it had been just this.

“I love you,” he whispered at last, and Nico’s lips pressed against his neck.

“I know.”

“Jerk,” Deen laughed, cupping Nico’s cheeks to press a long kiss against his lips. “Go tell Jeff to take over for you so I can take you away.”

“On it.”

Deen watched Nico grab a bag and pack, shoving seemingly random things in it. It took a few minutes before he realized his cheeks hurt from smiling.

Maybe we have a chance. Please, please, please… give me that chance. I’d give anything for it.

After Nico got Jeff to agree to take over, Deen found himself packing just as haphazardly. It was hard when he was unable to keep his eyes off the man who’d just succinctly picked apart his deepest insecurities and offered up his love again, after all that.

Deen had done some goddamn stupid things in his life, but turning down this love would be the stupidest of all.

26

Nico

He’d been living here for years, but less than half a dozen times had Nico stayed in the private rental lodges and cabins that dotted the Smokies. To him, the luxury was incredible after these years in the woods. And at last minute, as they approached tourist season, that couldn’t have been cheap.

It kind of bothered him, but at the same time, the chance to get away from prying eyes and maybe figure out where they were before Deen was yanked away by shows and album writing and commitments that long predated him…

Nico tried to calm himself down as he pulled up in the parking lot of the lodge that housed the Oakwood Cabins reception. He parked the ATV neatly in a spot, then locked up their helmets in the box and handed their packs out to Deen.

Deen was bouncing on his toes, full of that live-wire energy that seemed to define him.

“The photos online looked so cool. I mean, the couple that loaded. Fucking mountains and not even getting 3G. Like it’s the 90s!”

Nico shouldered his pack and nodded. “Lead on, then. Did you book it under a pseudonym?”

“Actually, yeah.” Deen looked sheepish. “Does that make me totally egotistic?”

Nico laughed. “No. What name?”

“John Smith.”

“Really?”

“I’d have gone with Dixon Buttes, but I had to book by phone. Online it works better, unless the receptionist says it out loud.”

Nico snickered and pinched Deen’s ass. “I knew it.”

Deen swatted his hand and then tried to grab Nico’s ass in return, making Nico stumble as he lurched away just in time. “Are we gonna be wrestling it out tonight?” Nico grinned.

“There’s time for us both to take turns,” Deen said sagely, then pushed the reception door open and led them inside.

It took just a few minutes to pay and get the keys, and then they were tromping along the woodland path. Each cabin was sheltered by strategic groves of trees or angled so that the decks and windows faced different directions when possible, for maximum privacy.

The door to their cabin stood behind a small grove of yellow birch trees. Even from the outside, it looked neat and pristine compared to the reality of rural living. Nico had to bite back his snarky comment about the Friends Welcome mat outside the doorstep.

He couldn’t help himself when Deen unlocked the door and held it open, though.

The exposed beams across the ceiling lent the place a spacious feeling. Windows lined the south-facing wall onto the darkening horizon and trees beyond. There was a full kitchen and living room here, a staircase up to a loft sleeping area, and—was that a hot tub on the back deck?

“Okay, if this is what they call a cabin,” Nico snorted, “I’m not believing anyone who says they’ve camped here in a cabin before.”

Deen chuckled as he closed and locked the door. “You know what’s even better?”

“Wha’?” Nico was distracted by checking out the view. In the morning when the eponymous blue haze of smoke rose from the mountains, that was going to be an incredible view. Technically the cabins weren’t located within the park, but they were close enough.

“They stocked the fridge with food. Which means we don’t have to leave the cabin or put on clothes again until we check out.”

Nico swiveled around to stare at Deen, who was already stripping down. “Oh! Well, then,” he laughed. He couldn’t deny the flush of heat that interrupted his explorations, redirecting his singular focus to Deen.

“There’s that shy side again.” Deen was teasing him as he swaggered closer, pulling his t-shirt off slowly and ditching it on the floor. He hooked his thumbs through his belt loops. “But I can coax Take-Charge Nico out…”

“And how do you plan to do that?” Nico’s voice dropped to a growl. He turned from the kitchen and wandered toward Deen, dragging his shirt off in one fluid movement.

Deen’s eyes flickered down to take in his stomach and chest, giving Nico a moment of thrilled pride. Deen was in just as good shape, but the kind of fit that spoke of gym reps, not of hauling firewood.

“I thought I’d sidle up to him,” Deen whispered, keeping his thumbs in his own belt loops and pressing their bodies together until he could hook his index fingers in Nico’s waistband and their crotches pressed together.

Not even subtle.

“And offer myself up… naked and sweaty, any which way he wants me. Tell him how hot I am for him,” Deen said. He added a soft groan for full effect, swaying into Nico and grinding against him slowly. “Make sure he feels how hard I am… how much I need him. Beg him for help taking care of this.”

Nico’s whole arms itched with the urge to grab Deen and haul him upstairs, but he tried to hold out for a few more breaths. He put his hands on the narrowest part of Deen’s waist, right above his hips, then ran them up his back, letting his nails drag against Deen’s spine.

“Hah!” Deen panted, exhaling one short, sharp breath. His cock twitched, hardening against Nico’s as they rubbed through layers of denim.

Too many layers. Nico slid his hands down to their waistbands to unbutton both pairs of pants and drop them to the ground, hauling down their underwear with a little more caution.

Deen laughed under his breath as he bent and stepped out of his layers of clothes until he was naked. He fished out a bottle of lube from his pocket and wiggled it at Nico meaningfully. Then, he leaned in to sneak a quick, cheeky kiss on the head of Nico’s cock before straightening up again.

A muscle in Nico’s thigh twitched with the urge to grab Deen’s shoulders and force him down on his knees to keep that up, but Deen was beaming obnoxiously at him. Better to surprise him with something else.

So he grabbed Deen by the waist and hauled him up over his good shoulder.

Deen gasped, then squirmed, his stiffness pressing into Nico’s bare skin. “Nico! You can’t…”

“Yes, I can.” For good measure, Nico slapped Deen’s ass.

Deen moaned sharply and went still across his shoulder, but Nico saw his toes curl with pleasure. “Fine. Dumbass.”

“Careful what you call the man carrying your scrawny ass.” Nico picked his way up the staircase to the king-sized bed on the upper level of the cabin, with an even better view out the windows toward the park. He’d totally leave the curtains open tonight for a view of the stars and the sunrise tomorrow.

“Scrawny?” Deen protested.

“Sorry. You’re a slender Adonis.”

Deen snorted. “You just like feeling like a caveman.”

“Hauling your pretty little ass up to my cave to stick it in you?” Nico growled, slapping Deen’s ass once more for good measure before dumping him on the bed and straddling him. “Beats going on the hunt.”

“You’ve got me now,” Deen breathed out, scooting up the bed until his head reached the pillows while Nico followed, not letting him get away. “No need to hunt.”

“Yeah. I do.” Nico pushed away any thoughts of the future and let his gaze trail down Deen’s body to that slender chest and the defined abs, the look that had won him fans around the world.

And had won Nico’s interest, in a slow but unmissable burn of sexual need until Deen had crossed the blurry line between flirting and picking him up that first time. And since then, he just hadn’t been able to stop. Deen only had to crook his finger and Nico was there for him, hard and ready for anything.

Best of all, Deen made him feel good about it. He wasn’t self-conscious about sounding stupid when Deen looked so turned on every time he talked dirty. He wasn’t worried about his years of inexperience when Deen cried his name in the whimpering moan that meant he was about to explode all over the sheets. And hell, as sweet as this night alone was, he didn’t give a fuck who saw or heard them.

Deen was his.

“I hope that massive boner is gonna get put to good use,” Deen whimpered when he’d had enough of Nico’s up-and-down. “Cause you’re driving me crazy, baby, just sitting there.”

Nico pushed his hips forward for a few slow thrusts, letting the underside of his cock drag along Deen’s, which was hard and pressing against Deen’s hot stomach.

“Yes,” Deen hissed, grabbing Nico’s shoulders. He suddenly loosened his grip and shifted it to Nico’s back instead, pulling him down by his shoulder blades.

“You like that?” Nico let him pull him down, hiding his smile at Deen’s consideration for him. He pressed quick, fluttering kisses against Deen’s lips every time he tried to open his mouth to answer.

Deen finally laughed, trying to turn his head away. He managed a whispered, “Yes,” before Nico slipped his tongue between Deen’s lips, sucking against Deen’s tongue and lips to kiss him in just the deep and filthy way he knew Deen loved. “Mmngodyes,” he mumbled against Nico’s mouth before giving up trying to speak. He just kissed back hard, eventually getting the upper hand and Nico’s lip between his own.

Nico pulled away from the kiss slowly, his eyes meeting those dark, long-lashed beauties that were open, but hazy, just inches away. “You’d better get fingering yourself fast. Because this—massive boner—isn’t gonna wait long.”

“Yes,” Deen hissed again. He scrambled to open the lube and get his hand between their bodies, spreading his knees already.

Nico loved how willing he was to take any role in a heartbeat… whatever would lead to immediate pleasure for both of them. He didn’t have an ego to maintain—not like people might have expected from him.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered as he watched those slender fingers disappearing inside Deen’s tight hole. Just seeing him finger himself was almost too much. He ached to be inside him already.

Deen licked his lips, his breathing harsh. “So are you. I never thought I’d be this lucky.”

He was hinting at it again, dancing ever closer to the ideas Nico had held about him for some time now. But now wasn’t the moment. Maybe afterward.

“Me neither,” Nico murmured. “Especially that I’d find you while hiding out in the woods.”

Deen barked a quick laugh. “Even the tracker gets tracked down eventually.”

Nico pressed their dicks together, stroking both in one hand. “Mmhmm. Just about ready?”

“God, yes. When you put it like that…”

In moments, he was pressing inside that tightness, burying himself deep in Deen’s body, forgetting everything else in the world except what really mattered: them, together, here and now.

He pressed Deen’s knees to his chest and leaned down to catch his lips in a lingering kiss as he moved inside him, drawing groans from them both.

This… this was perfection.

It wasn’t until the second round later that night when Nico took his turn flat on his back with Deen over and inside him, that he realized his whole imagined future contained Deen.

Every fantasy he had now revolved around him. Even in stray thoughts about patrols, there was the preoccupation with maintaining a cell connection with him, texting him at lunchtime or after a show.

It was all set up in his head, and they were barreling toward the point where they had to sit down and talk about whether they were both really in this for the long haul.

And as his body clenched, sparks shooting in front of his eyes, his nails biting into the sheets, gasping Deen’s name…

Nico knew he wanted this man. He had since they first met. That tingling in the back of his head whenever Deen was around, the itch for him that had set in…

“You’re a splinter, you know,” he murmured, late at night when they were finally pressed together, almost senseless, half-asleep.

“Mm?”

“You got under my skin. And you won’t let go.”

But Deen was already asleep, and Nico had to sigh gently to himself and let the thought go until morning.

It was fate, or love, or his choice, or whatever the hell this meant.

It was Deen.

27

Deen

The sun couldn’t creep over the horizon any slower, but however stealthy it seemed, the few clouds scattered across the early June sky heralded its arrival. Perhaps it always rose this slowly, or perhaps Deen just hadn’t noticed.

He was often awake for sunrise, but before coming here, he’d never paid much attention to it. Who the hell was Nico turning him into? He kind of liked it.

The porch door slid open and he didn’t turn, but smiled. Just like the sky betraying the arrival of the sun, the smell of coffee told him that Nico was coming to join him.

“Morning. What a gorgeous view. The sun’s all right, too.”

Deen grinned, even if he rolled his eyes, and leaned into Nico’s chest as soon as he felt that strong, warm arm wrap around his shoulders. Nico leaned next to him against the wide wooden railing.

“Ever the charmer.”

“I think it’s fair repayment for that thing you do with your tongue.”

Deen laughed and rested his head on Nico’s shoulder. The reminder of last night made him warm, but not in the kind of way that demanded immediate satisfaction.

That, in itself, was new. Or not new, since he’d felt it for a few weeks now, but it had been new when he and Nico first met. Coaxing laughter out of Nico, making his gruffness relax into friendly familiarity, had been all the satisfaction he needed. At first.

How the hell could he give this up?

His gaze landed on the steam rising slowly from the mountains, that unique shade of blue starting to settle into the horizon around. He’d seen it before—the sky in Finland, the water in Cyprus—but not often. “What makes the smoke?”

Deen felt slightly bad for tuning out the answer just to listen to the melody of Nico’s voice. Something about scattering particles, and space, and the rumble of his voice vibrated faintly through his cheek as he kept it pressed to Nico’s shoulder.

He’d sound beautiful doing backup vocals sometime. Could I ever talk him into it? He’d wondered it before, but now that he was staring down the prospect of another album for the moneygrubbers, he saw the chance to capture a small piece of Nico forever.

“You’re daydreaming,” Nico’s voice broke through his thoughts.

“Sorry,” Deen murmured. “Just thinking. Work.”

Nico rubbed his back. “Penny for them?”

It was scary to even bring it up, but they were almost at the point of no return. Tonight was Deen’s last night in the Smokies for at least a few weeks. No way would they let him get away from this segment of the tour. After Houston, the east coast was waiting for him. Sold-out shows up and down the coast. He wouldn’t let himself back out, either. It wouldn’t be fair to his fans.

But Nico was here. It was like an unstoppable force versus an immovable wall.

“Would you come on tour with me? If you get vacation time? Or… I don’t know, for longer? Ever?”

Nico caught his breath and loosened his grip on Deen’s shoulders, folding his arms on the railing in front of him and shifting his weight to rest his hip on it and face Deen. “Are you inviting me to run away from the woods?”

“Something like that. I mean, hell, even just for the Houston show. I already put your name on the VIP list, just in case.” Deen licked his lips. “And, you know, we could ease into the public eye.”

Nico’s gaze was distinctly wary, but he was listening. “Mmhmm?”

“But I don’t see you as the type to want to quit your job,” Deen admitted. “Just like I don’t want to quit mine. And they’re pretty damn incompatible.”

Nico hummed under his breath. “Yeah, they are. I can’t quit this. Besides being up there,” he jerked his chin skyward, “it’s the job I’ve most loved. Not that I’ve had a lot of others.”

Deen nodded. He’d read that part of Nico’s Wikipedia article: early life. He’d started young as a astronaut, making the loss of a good, trained man even harder for the agency to take. “I guessed.”

“I can’t just ditch it.”

“No, no. I get it.” Deen bent over to flex his knees and stretch his back, propping his chin on his hands as he kept his gaze on the horizon. He straightened up again and rolled his shoulders. “I don’t know how it’ll work… we’ll work… without seeing each other much.”

“Me neither,” Nico admitted seriously. His hand ran up Deen’s back again. “I like this.”

Just not touching him for weeks at a time… I can’t. Deen physically ached at the thought. “Skype isn’t the same.”

“No. You can’t do that tongue thing via Skype,” Nico teased to lighten the mood.

Deen let him do it and cracked a smile, leaning into him again. “Yeah. That too.”

The sky was truly light now. Another day was going to unfold, however unwelcome this particular one was to both of them.

As if having similar thoughts, Nico pulled Deen close, wrapping his arms around his waist and swaying with him for a minute while Deen relaxed into him. They held each other tight, like doing so could stop this moment slipping away.

The chirp of Nico’s phone meant the real world was intruding even sooner than he’d expected. That sent a thrill of annoyance through Deen, but he swallowed it and pulled back to let Nico fish his phone out of his pocket.

“Nico speaking.” His boyfriend’s eyes widened. “What happened? What kind of incident? Okay. Good. We’re on our way now. Thanks, Jeff.”

* * *

“When you said another arson, you didn’t say it was my station!” Nico looked furious—angrier than Deen had seen him.

Even though Jeff was right there, Deen couldn’t stop himself stepping forward to put a hand on Nico’s back. He rubbed lightly, wishing there were more he could do to help.

He’d gotten a scare of his own when they arrived to find black, charred spots along the walls of both of their cabins, but Nico was taking this much harder. And no wonder—this had been his home for a month, but Nico’s home for years.

“I didn’t want you freaking out,” Jeff told him, his eyes flickering to Deen and back to Nico. “Not before you got here and saw everything’s fine, anyway.”

“They didn’t steal anything?” Nico turned to Deen, his gaze intent. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve checked and double-checked my place. Everything’s fine.”

Nico took a few deep breaths as if deliberately calming himself. “Right. Okay.”

Deen heard voices from nearby and almost jumped out of his skin before remembering the road trippers camped nearby.

No way. It would be way too weird for them to have done it, and too obvious. Especially so soon after getting here.

“Deen! Can I have a word?”

Now was not the best time, but Ricky wouldn’t be discouraged. He shifted from foot to foot like he had something important to say.

“Sure. Back in a sec,” he told Nico, who was still visibly fuming and barely even seemed to hear him. As he followed Ricky off to the edge of the clearing, he frowned. “What’s this?”

“I, uh… I didn’t want to be the one to break the news, but… well…” Ricky looked nervous.

Deen cast him a suspicious look. “What?”

Ricky handed over his phone, a video paused on it. Deen hit play. And then he understood why Ricky wanted him to be the one to break the news.

* * *

“You’re shitting me. Play it again.”

It was the fifth or sixth time now, but Deen obligingly hit the button again, casting Ricky an apologetic glance for having commandeered his phone for so long. Ricky shrugged; he didn’t seem to mind.

A ranger pulled up on an ATV. It was early evening, so the video was gritty and poor-quality. Added to that, the man who climbed off the machine was wearing a t-shirt instead of his uniform shirt. It could have been anyone until he swivelled his head to look left and right, giving them a clear profile of his face.

Bob, a ranger whom Deen only recognized from the first night the tour group arrived. Not even from the party when his manager had had him introduced to everyone.

Then he unscrewed the gas cap on his ATV and dunked a stick in; he broke the stick in half, then screwed the cap on again, looked around casually, and wandered up to the cabin.

He dug a lighter out of his pocket and flame roared up the sticks. He propped one on the ground against the cabin wall, then jogged up to the other and did the same.

And then he took off, roaring out of view as the cameraman—Ricky—ducked out of sight.

All there, plain as daylight.

“Shit, you’ve got balls of steel,” Jeff breathed out, looking at Ricky at last.

“Stupid thing to do, too. God knows what he could have done to your campsite last night.”

“We stayed awake in shifts, once the fire got put out. Figured he wouldn’t dare come back here, though.”

Their boss, Drew, was on his way up along with the park cops.

Nico had gone from furious to disbelieving to even more furious, to the point where Deen had to walk him away a few paces to calm him down. Then he’d finally reached this point, a quiet, simmering anger.

“We probably won’t be allowed to stay here tonight,” he murmured to Deen. “You should pack up your stuff now.”

Deen hadn’t thought of that. His last night here and he wasn’t even going to get to spend it here?

His heart sank as he nodded and trudged inside his cabin to pack up his bags, his spirits sinking after the triumph of witnessing this mystery so swiftly and conclusively solved.

Wait, what about Nico? He wouldn’t be allowed to stay here either.

By the time he got back outside, there were four or five others, and a flurry of activity kept him from asking.

Then he had to give statements—no, he wasn’t here; he’d been staying with Nico last night. No, nothing was missing from the cabin. No, Bob hadn’t had a grudge against him, as far as he knew; he’d hardly met the guy. He explained the one situation in which they had met, then shrugged as he ran out of information.

Deen was as curious—and disturbed—as anyone else at the sudden escalation from trees and park benches to cabins. Being a ranger, too, Bob must have known that with that little propellant, a fire was unlikely to catch, even in the beginning of the summer dry season.

Had it been a warning to Nico? A farewell fuck you to him, Deen? Why?

“We can go.” Nico’s voice was tight. “My boss gave me a couple days off. The cops have my number if they need anything. I don’t want to be here when they arrest that asshole.”

“Haven’t they done it yet?”

“No. They’re waiting until he gets to the main station. They’ll ambush him there, smooth and easy.” Nico’s gaze flickered around. Deen touched Nico’s hip—fleetingly, not long enough to draw unwanted attention. But Nico didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he relaxed and let his eyes focus on Deen’s. “Hm?”

“Stay with me tonight. In Knoxville. At my place.” They’d been too eager to return to the privacy of their cabin in the aftermath of the successful get-together with Nico’s friends for Deen to suggest it on their only other trip to town. Now was the perfect time.

Nico looked startled, and then he nodded, still tentative. “You wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course not. Boyfriend,” Deen added in an undertone.

Nico gave him a quick smile. “Okay. I’ll pack, too. Back in a minute.”

Just like that, the specter that had haunted them for weeks was solved, if not explained. The mood was lightening already, the other guys giving each other smiles, relaxing, realizing their workload would be back to normal.

But as they walked to Nico’s ATV, Deen and Nico only had half-hearted celebratory intentions. They hadn’t said a word directly, but both of them were too aware that this was it.

Deen packed his bags away, then headed over to the campground to say goodbye to the road-trippers. They were a cool group—eclectic, clearly close-knit now, brought together by a mutual love of his music. Maybe even new friends for life. That was the coolest thing in the world right there.

They’d already gotten profuse thanks from the cops, from all the rangers, but Deen added his own.

“I appreciate you guys keeping an eye on things, especially Ricky for putting his neck on the line. And all of you guys for coming to see me and this… forest paradise,” he gestured around with a broad smile.

He meant it, too. However bittersweet his goodbye to this park, the memories he made here… Well. He’d never forget them. The scorched outside of the cabins, the police tape around the front of each, was already fading from Deen’s memory of each place.

He’d made too many good memories to remember the bad parts first.

Don’t think of him.

Deen hid his damp eyes as he hugged them all, one by one, then told them they were on the VIP list for any future concerts they ever came to and jogged away while they were still dealing with the news.

“Did you just do something nice for them?” Nico said with a teasing accusatory tone, handing over his helmet.

“Might have.”

“Figures.” Nico chuckled and waited for Deen to hold on around his waist. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

* * *

It was a lot less eventful than he’d imagined, bringing Nico to his real home for the first time. He drove slowly so he didn’t lose Nico following behind him, and Nico did a good job keeping up with him, but scolded him once they arrived for running a few yellow lights.

Most of the shock was in being in an actual house, with indoor hot water and a full-sized fridge and an obscene number of light fixtures. Like it was all over… or just beginning. He didn’t know how he felt.

“Champagne?” Deen suggested. “Today calls for it.”

When Deen looked over to find Nico perched at the black marble countertop of his kitchen island, his heart fluttered again.

This. He wanted this.

Nico cast him a smile. “Sure. Celebrate the bad guys going down. Even though… I mean, I never liked him, but I never thought he was a bad guy. The kind of guy to do that. I guess we’ll find out soon why.”

“We might never find out,” Deen shrugged. “A lot of the time, people don’t know why they do things. Or no good reason.”

Nico rose to meet him as he brought over two flutes, taking one gently from his hand and leaning in to press his lips against his.

Deen melted a bit, bracing himself on the countertop.

“And sometimes,” Nico murmured, clinking their glasses together, “we have a damn good idea, and the best reason in the world.”

They drank to that.

28

Nico

It was a much less extravagant place than Nico had imagined, considering what he knew of Deen’s lifestyle.

The house was modern and tasteful, but not the bachelor pad he’d imagined. It felt sparse, which fit with the fact he knew Deen didn’t spend much time there, but it felt like the bones of a warm home, too. Spacious living room, beautiful big kitchen, and comfortable master bedroom.

They hadn’t even considered Nico sleeping in a guest room on this last night. At least, Nico hadn’t, and Deen hadn’t brought it up.

He was really going to miss Deen fitting perfectly under his arm as they cuddled on the threadbare, decades-old couch in his cabin. The soft, velvety couch almost felt too nice to sit on, but with Deen in his rightful spot, Nico soon forgot his reservations.

“I was thinking about what you said.” They were halfway through the second bottle of champagne, and Nico’s nerves were loosened, too. It had to be past midnight, but neither of them were keeping track of time. It was like they were afraid to shatter this bubble, and honestly, that was true for Nico, at least.

Deen snickered. “As you like to remind me, that could be anything. Which bit of blathering do you mean?”

“The part where you asked if I’d come on tour with you.” Nico played with the sleeve of Deen’s t-shirt, stroking his bicep and shoulder.

“Right.” Deen looked like he was holding back, but his hopeful eyes gave him away. “And?”

“I’m not saying yes to that,” Nico quickly told him, so he didn’t let him down. “It just got me thinking.”

“Mm?” Deen glanced away, then leaned forward to top up their glasses.

Nico let him go, then settled his arm on Deen’s shoulder again when he leaned back into it. He waited until Deen settled with his glass before speaking, trying to choose his words carefully. “I like my career, but I’ve been there for six years. There’s not a lot of room for direct growth into a career I want. I love the woods—I can’t imagine living in a suburb—but at the same time… it gets old sometimes, you know? Bringing your groceries in, living without a real stove, solar power…” He looked around. “This all feels so luxurious.”

Deen fidgeted and sipped from his glass, nodding eagerly.

“I don’t mind people knowing we’re together… but I don’t want to be the center of attention. And that’s your scene. You have an awesome career.”

“I’m kind of tired of it, too,” Deen admitted with a laugh. “At least, parts of it. But does that mean you’d be my boyfriend in public? My manager would love that.”

Nico raised a brow. That sounded dangerously like him being arm candy.

Deen seemed to sense that he was on thin ice and quickly cleared his throat. “Er, I mean… it would help keep the paparazzi off my back. And obviously because I want to show you off.”

“Regardless,” Nico cut Deen off before he could dig the hole deeper, “I can’t take off on short notice. And you have a lot of travel planned.” Maine to Florida, he was doing basically the whole east coast.

“I do.” Deen rubbed Nico’s shoulder, then cuddled into his side again. “Here’s my touring schedule.” He pulled out his phone and opened the calendar app, then handed it over.

That was a lot of red. Nico stared at the days as he thumbed through the next month. All these city names he recognized—some he’d even given lectures in, before they kicked him out entirely—and not a lot of time between shows.

There. A few blank days, one near the beginning of June and one near the end. “Are those seriously your only days off?”

“Yep,” Deen chuckled grimly. “But it gets better next month. After the tour. Road life is the hardest part.”

“How long have you already been away? Not that I noticed the dust on the countertop,” Nico teased.

Deen laughed and took back his phone. “Three months, including this month. The first two were the west coast and midwest, then the south, then this month off to let the guys see their families and shit.”

“Your bandmates? You don’t talk about them a lot.”

Deen sighed. “Yeah. I’m the main act. The label chooses the rest of them… more or less. I mean, I get first pick and final say, but it’s not like a group of buddies who got big together. So that can be lonely.”

Then he seemed to realize what he’d said and flushed, taking a hasty gulp of champagne.

“No, I understand,” Nico said softly. “It gets lonely out in the woods. I didn’t choose my coworkers, either… clearly.”

It was such a strange thought that it was over—short of copycats, the arsons were done with. Safety, and before the worst fire season started. All along, it had been one of their own.

Again and again that day, his thoughts had gone back to the same question: but why? And, once again, he had to content himself with knowing they might find out, but they might well never.

“At least I get along with mine. We both do,” Deen amended quickly. “Aside from the assholes.”

“Here’s to that.” Nico finished his glass and set it aside to pull Deen into his lap and stroke his hair for a little while.

They alternated between light conversation and silence for a while, both growing tired eventually, but not tired enough to sleep. Nico didn’t want the day to end, even if it technically already had. Even when they moved to bed, they didn’t bother undressing, just lay on top of the covers.

Deen talked about the early days in the band, about his hopes and dreams and how strange it was to be catapulted to star status nearly overnight after years of grinding out a little more success at a time.

Nico shared stories from space boot camp, from the grueling training process and the flight up and daily life. He talked more than he ever had before. Deen asked questions sometimes, but mostly listened.

When dawn peeked through the blinds, Nico laughed and pointed it out, and Deen joined him in his amusement. They’d managed to stay up a single night like they were teenagers talking all night on instant messenger. Not that Nico had ever found a guy to do that with back then.

There was nobody like Deen.

And the thought of those long stretches of red ahead, the days when he almost certainly couldn’t get away from his job for long enough to get to the east coast, wherever his boyfriend was, and Deen certainly couldn’t abandon his own…

Deen wanted something public to cool the rumors when he wasn’t living it up in the glare of the stage spotlight—or at least, his people wanted to exploit them for that reason. Nico wanted the man in his mountains and woods, where he could show him every fresh blossom and teach him the names of all the dewy trees.

Unless something changed, it was painfully apparent to both of them that this couldn’t last. Even thinking of Deen as his boyfriend felt like taking liberties when Nico wouldn’t even come to Houston with him.

But it was probably better that way, if they weren’t going to last anyway. As the moment finally faded, daylight interrupting the half-sleepy reverie between them, they stirred to shower and eat breakfast.

Nico’s chest ached worse than his shoulder ever had, even freshly torn. His heart was breaking, and he couldn’t see an easy path to ease the pain.

So he smiled and joked with Deen as they pieced together breakfast from bare cupboards, pretending Deen didn’t have to leave on his drive. It almost worked until he saw Deen checking the route on Google Maps on his phone.

Only when he made it to the bathroom to take his own turn showering and then gather the few things he’d brought did Nico let himself cry.

29

Deen

Deen listened to the backing tracks on the way to Houston, just in case he’d forgotten everything he knew about his own music. After reassuring himself that he did, in fact, remember how to sing, that didn’t hold his interest for long.

He switched to the radio. Then turned it off, rolled down the windows, let the road-noise lull him for a while.

His brain was too busy, though. He needed more.

Deen had offered spare keys to Nico in case he needed to stay another couple nights for the investigation, but Nico had called Jeff and found out he could return already. He hadn’t taken the keys.

Not that that meant anything, long-term. He could understand Nico being reluctant to take that kind of responsibility when he’d only visited for one night.

But then, Nico had trusted him with his cabin, with his heart.

Fuck. There went his brain again. He turned the radio to top 40 pop and cranked it to max. Serves you right, he told his brain when it tried to reject the terrible lyrics and bland beat.

* * *

He didn’t even have the energy to bring all his bags inside. Fuck that. He just grabbed his backpack and headed through the side door of the hotel.

When he knocked on the door number Bryan had texted him, his manager was waiting for him in his suite. Bryan cast a critical eye at him immediately, no doubt inspecting him for bear mauling or sunburn.

“I’m in one piece,” Deen protested, dropping his backpack and raising his hands. He did a pirouette on the spot. “See?”

“Come here, you asshole,” Bryan laughed, pulling him for a quick, manly hug before he clapped his shoulders. “Most relaxing month of my life, you know.”

“Not having me around? Thanks,” Deen laughed, but he knew what Bryan meant.

Bryan slapped his shoulder again and gestured to the mini-fridge. “Drink? They’ve got beer.”

“No, thanks.”

Bryan stumbled over his own feet as he plopped into the chair behind the desk. “What? Who are you and what have you done with my troublemaker?”

Deen rubbed his face and laughed. “Yeah. I know.”

Immediately, Bryan was suspicious. “Are you ready for another month of touring? If you aren’t fueled by alcohol…”

“I won’t take up heroin instead,” Deen answered dryly as he grabbed a bottle of water and crashed on the couch. He stretched his feet out, propping them on the arm of the sofa. “Probably.”

“Not the heart attack I need, kid.”

“I don’t make promises I can’t keep,” Deen answered with a cheeky smile. Then, it faded. Like to Nico.

Bryan eyed him. “No booze, no parties, almost no contact for four weeks, but no scandals you’re trying not to tell me about… What’s up?”

“I… I don’t know if I can go back to constant life on the road. Tour after tour,” Deen admitted. “I mean, fuck. How many months was it between the last tour and this one? And all of that time spent in the studio or photo shoots or interviews.”

“You burning out?”

“That’s one way of putting it.” Deen nibbled his thumbnail, then tapped his knuckle against his lips. “I… I dunno. I don’t want to coast.”

“You’re gonna start coasting, like it or not, if you don’t do any writing,” Bryan tossed out there.

Deen flushed and folded his arms. “Who says I’m not writing?”

“You haven’t shown me anything.”

“I’ve been in the woods.”

“You’ve been uploading fucking videos to the… 3G Cloud Internet or whatever you call it,” Bryan waved a hand impatiently, refusing to accept his excuse.

Deen was blushing now. Fuck. “I… started writing songs a couple weeks ago. I think I have a title track, too.”

“About?”

“Love. What else is music about?” Deen laughed. “Especially mine. And, you know, friends, and more than friends. Meeting Nico. That kind of shit.”

“No,” Bryan said slowly, sitting up straight. “You’re in love.”

Deen’s cheeks flushed even hotter and he looked away, finding anything of interest in the room that wasn’t Bryan. The art on the walls, the nice flatscreen TV…

“I figured it’d happen eventually,” Bryan went on. “Nico still, right? I knew when you talked to me on the phone. Seeing it in person, though…”

“Shut up,” Deen grumbled, threatening to throw the nearest object—his water bottle—at Bryan.

Bryan wasn’t deterred. He grinned at Deen. “This is good, though. He’s been good for you, I can tell already. I wanna meet him again. Is he coming to the show?”

Ouch. Deen looked away and moodily sipped from his bottle. “No. Maybe. Probably not.”

“It’s a long way from the park.”

“And he has a job,” Deen agreed immediately. He didn’t meet Bryan’s gaze. “Anyway, are the guys around?”

“Yep. They’ll be waiting for you. Want me to drive you?”

“I can manage.” Deen jumped to his feet, suddenly energized to play music and forget for a few more minutes what was tearing him apart.

* * *

Tommy’s drumbeat shook his chest wide open. Deen swayed in front of the microphone, eyes closed, imagining the real stage they’d be on soon.

He knew this job, this art, this passion, almost better than he knew himself. He knew what chord to listen for, knew what words to tweak live, what register he was most likely to stumble over. He knew his own strengths and weaknesses—how else would he have gotten to this point?

And the label, for their faults, had done a good job choosing his backing instruments. The guys were happy to see him again after the time off, but welcomed him back like nothing had happened. And for them, nothing had. They’d had a month to screw around, but nobody had found someone the way he had.

Deen lost himself in practice, ignoring anything except the music. He had no space in his brain left for anything but the music.

It wasn’t until they took a break, chugging bottles of water and shooting the shit about what Bryan had said lately, talking about their upcoming shows, that he brought it up.

“Hey, so. I’ve been working on the next album, right? Can we screw around with one of the songs a bit? I was thinking of playing my demo on Saturday.”

“Live? Has Bryan approved yet?”

“Ehhh,” Deen drawled, waving a hand. “I’ll run it by him today.”

His bass player, Kane, gestured for him to hand over what he’d got so far. Deen flushed all over again as he did, looking around and away. The guys crowded around, mumbling and strumming chords sometimes.

Deen had an ear for the finished piece, but he couldn’t always figure out how to get there. He let everyone else deal with that, and all these guys knew by now how to interpret his scrawling.

“Where there’s smoke, there’s fire, huh?” Tommy looked up and grinned. “Nice working title. What haven’t you told us?”

Deen grunted and shrugged. He knew a bit about everyone’s personal lives—they weren’t hostile, they still went out for beer after the show sometimes—but they also weren’t his soulmates or anything.

Not like Nico and his Significant Brothers. The name still made him grin.

“Shit, who is it? Or are you gonna surprise us with a name when you play this?”

“Oh, fuck off.” Deen flipped him off. A chorus of mocking awws followed, but Deen didn’t mind. Not as much as he’d thought he would.

He sat on the ground and fiddled with his phone, checking his texts. There I go again, he reminded himself.

But his thoughts were already running down that path.

It might be useless to play the demo live if Nico didn’t show. But then, what was he trying to prove with this anyway? That he loved him? They both knew they loved each other. That he loved Nico enough to…

Enough to what?

If he wanted Nico to make sacrifices, to come see him sometimes, he had to make sacrifices of his own. Work less. See Nico more. Get out to the woods on a regular basis, not just when he felt like it.

A relationship—a real one, that went beyond calling each other boyfriends for a couple weeks in the woods and maybe around one or two groups of friends—was going to be hard fucking work.

But Deen wanted to do it more than he’d wanted any work in his life.

And he knew what he had to do next.

* * *

“I have a message for the overlords,” Deen announced himself as he swanned into Bryan’s room. They had adjoining rooms with the door left unlocked between them—unless there was a good reason to lock it.

“Uh huh?” Bryan had his reading glasses on, a binder on his lap, and was flipping through pages in it. He glanced up to Deen. “Which particular ones?”

“Whoever’s turning the thumbscrews.”

Bryan held his place with his finger and nodded. “Well?”

“They… They can fuck off. They’re using me. And it’s always benefited me, until now. I don’t want to let them send me all over the world without a chance to breathe. I can’t do a third album in three years—that’s just insanity.”

Bryan slowly closed the binder but didn’t interrupt.

Good thing, too. Deen was working up to speed, his chest puffing as he stood straighter. “You know they’ve been bleeding all the money they can get out of me. And, you know, I don’t like that. They’re raising the ticket prices for fans again next tour, aren’t they? And I know some of that is down to the booking agents and whatever, but they’re happy to make me… make me some premium-priced product. I’m not a product. I’m a person.”

Deen didn’t expect the knot of emotion that formed in his chest. He also didn’t expect Bryan to rise to his feet and take off his glasses, folding them and putting them aside. “Glad you finally realized it.”

Deen’s mouth opened and closed as he took a few deep breaths, then looked away. “You let them do all that.”

“You wanted me to let them,” Bryan said gently but firmly. “You didn’t have anything else going in your life. You would have fucking self-destructed if I’d let you take a couple weeks’ vacation. You tried to self-destruct anyway, more than once.”

The reminder made Deen’s cheeks prick with embarrassment. “Yeah. I know.”

“You want to spend more time with Nico, huh?”

“Yeah. But it’s been brewing a long time. I’ve been feeling more and more like… I don’t know. I need your help. Setting boundaries, I guess. Figuring out a reasonable pace, reasonable terms, for an artist who isn’t just breaking out anymore. Like. Maintaining… balance?” Deen tried out, stumbling over his phrases.

Bryan nodded. “I’ve been waiting for you to ask.” And he was glowing, too. Was that pride in his eyes? “For you to care enough about yourself to stop losing yourself in all this…” he waved around him, “All this shit. If I’d known I just had to send you to some cabin ages ago, you’d have been in the backwoods of Tennessee three years ago.”

“I… I guess.” Deen laughed sheepishly, coming down from the high of speaking his mind. “Is that possible? Are they gonna hate me?”

“Some will. They answer to their shareholders. To them, you are profit. But that doesn’t mean you can’t set your own boundaries.” Bryan approached him and squeezed his shoulders. “Good job, kid. After this tour, we’ll have time to regroup and figure out what’s next for you.”

“Can it involve staying near home more?”

“I had a feeling you’d want to spend more time in Knoxville. Or rather, a couple hours outside of it.” Bryan’s eyes twinkled. “I really do have to meet this guy again. Properly this time.”

“I’ll make sure you do.” Deen’s heart raced. Should he tell Nico? No, not yet. Promising to cut back work and promising to be around more… promises didn’t help. He had to show him he meant it.

Maybe there was some waiting involved, some patience, some strategy, but Bryan could help with some of that.

Nico had shown him how much more there was to life. Now it was time to give that back, and show a little good faith. Some hope for the future.

He pulled out his phone to send a simple text instead. Deen was anxious, but he screwed up his eyes, reminded himself that he was Deen motherfucking Jayse, and hit send.

30

Nico

The woods were quiet. Too quiet.

The road trippers had gone home, and with Bob arrested, the cops had cleared out. Peak tourist season was approaching, so he wasn’t going to be alone up here, but…

It felt like he was way too alone.

The small cabin on the other side of the clearing from the ranger station was clean, swept out, ready for new rangers. Its tiny icebox was empty, the wooden bunks stark and cold.

It wasn’t hard to figure out what was bothering Nico.

Leaving Deen’s house that morning, they’d both tried not to make a big deal of it. Definitely not saying real goodbyes.

But Nico was acutely aware that it would be at least two weeks before Deen’s next day off, and… well. That was a lot of time. Time to find someone else. Time to realize he didn’t really want to come back to the park again.

They’d texted, of course.

Love you and miss you. Practice went well today. How about your day? See you soon?

That spawned a few minutes of texting back and forth, sharing stories about newly-hatched robins and bandmates forgetting chords. And, of course, the preliminary reports. Bob had told the cops everything. He seemed to have some kind of bizarre pyromaniac complex where people thought of themselves as heroes, set up situations where they could save everyone from the fires they started.

They hadn’t addressed that last question. Even that morning, in the quiet sleepless dawn, they hadn’t dared bring it up again.

Deen had said he’d put him on the VIP list—and the road trippers, which made Nico smile. He was really so sweet, even if he hated people figuring that out.

A few times now, he’d Google Mapped it. Here to Houston. Fourteen hours’ driving. If he got up early enough in the morning tomorrow, which wasn’t that early for him, he’d be there in time for the concert. There was an opening band and Deen wouldn’t be on until nine, at least. Add a couple hours for leeway and construction and nutty drivers near New Orleans.

But was there a point to it, or was this just drawing out the painful and inevitable?

I guess that depends on us.

Deen, every time they’d talked about it, had had that painful, tentative, hopeful expression on his face. He didn’t just say he wanted more to make Nico feel better; he seemed to mean it.

Was it really down to Nico, then?

That would have made him nervous, except… he knew how to make tough decisions under pressure. He just had to apply logic to the situation. But of all the things in his life, all the drama he’d tried to avoid since he quite literally rose above it all and saw the pointlessness… it hadn’t prepared him for this.

Falling in love, hard and fast and unavoidably. The splinter that had worked its way under his skin, and might never come out now. It was a fond ache, one he touched constantly with his thoughts.

Deen this, Deen that.

But what did Nico want? Really?

He kept trying to work it out as he directed tourists to the trails they wanted, finished fixing that notice board—more carefully this time—and repaired some fencing. His indecisiveness was starting to annoy even him, so he didn’t dare call his buddies.

He knew what they’d say anyway. Fuck everything. Go after him. You don’t get this chance twice.

And, fuck, they were right.

He was fine denying himself pleasures for a greater good—consistent hot water for the protection of an important biosphere for generations to come, for example. But he couldn’t make that decision for Deen, too. That wasn’t fair.

What if there was another way? What if he found, or made, one? For Deen’s sake?

“Fuck it,” he finally hissed as he tossed again in bed, pulling the sheets tighter around himself. He’d given Jeff enough time off to see his girlfriends in town, or at the stables, or wherever. He had this weekend off anyway. Take Monday off, too, and he wouldn’t have to drive back so early the very next morning.

One day with Deen, apart from whatever else Deen had to do on Sunday, of course. Nico couldn’t remember. He’d just been overwhelmed by the blocks of red on his schedule.

It was late. So late that, despite his worries, his eyes eventually drifted shut.

And, like he’d never closed them, his eyes snapped open again. It was still dark, but he knew he’d slept as much as he could that night.

He had a show to get to.

* * *

Nico barely remembered the drive—all fourteen-plus hours of it. Gas stops and lunch breaks blended into one another. The whole time, he was too busy questioning himself.

What the hell am I doing?

The only available conclusion was that he was crazy, or crazy in love.

Somewhere along the line, he’d stopped giving a shit whether he was recognized, whether he’d get into the horrible tabloids that had largely avoided pursuing him since he wasn’t the right kind of interesting famous, or whether jealous fans mailed dog shit to the main ranger station.

Deen was right.

He’d run away to the woods.

He’d run away from having to admit that he was disabled, that it didn’t mean shit about him, that being incapable of doing a few little things was completely fucking okay. Hell, Deen was the only reason he’d come so far in admitting that.

He’d run away from having to figure out how human interaction worked when you weren’t in sub-G conditions.

He’d run away from admitting to himself that what he’d missed more than ice cream and normal sunrises and peeing without a vacuum tube was the intimacy of human connection. Touch. Caring. Someone giving a shit about him, and not because he was an expensive project.

Houston was close. He had to pay attention. Big city traffic was almost alien to him now. He had an hour before the opening band even started, but he didn’t want to waste that making wrong-way turns.

He’d made enough of those in his life. It was time to follow the signs.

* * *

Nico folded his hands tightly, rubbing his thumb along each of his fingers. He still felt the wheel and the vibrations of the road. It had been a while since he’d driven so far in so little time.

One more sensation he’d forgotten until meeting Deen.

He wasn’t alone in the VIP seats; Ricky, the road tripping fan who’d recorded Bob trying to torch the cabins had made it here in time for the show. It was nice to see a familiar face.

Almost immediately, Ricky leaned in. “Did they catch him?”

“Oh, yeah.” Nico tried not to crush the complimentary beer can. “They arrested him the same day. Still don’t know why he actually did it. They told me they’ll tell me when they know. It’s premeditated, clearly. They can’t immediately prove it was him that did the rest, but… they’re hoping he’ll confess to them all. Did they give you your phone back?”

“Not yet.” Ricky looked glum. “But before he left, Deen ordered me a new one. He’s really sweet, isn’t he?”

“Mm. I couldn’t possibly comment.” Nico smirked, and Ricky winked at him.

“I gotcha.” Ricky moved the conversation elsewhere—to Deen’s music, and when it became clear Nico hadn’t heard any of it, to national news and politics, healthcare reform, and the house he was building in New Mexico.

The guy was smart as a whip, and Nico found himself genuinely relaxing and enjoying his company. He was almost disappointed when the lights dimmed and a cheer went up for the opening band.

They were pretty good. Not memorable, but solid head-nodding tunes. They got cheers and applause, but nothing like the applause when the lights dimmed again and music started to play.

When Deen walked out on stage, the screams and applause from all around the stadium made Nico jump.

Ricky laughed at the expression on his face and leaned in. “Get used to it.”

“All right.” Nico was gonna need another beer to handle this.

The lights came up just enough that Deen could see the VIP section and the first few rows of people crowded into the standing-room pen as he greeted Houston. Nico saw his gaze flicker over, scan the VIP seats, and then land on him. Their eyes met.

Deen visibly brightened, stumbled in the middle of his sentence, then carried on talking.

Nico turned red, certain that everyone was looking at him for a moment. Until the feeling passed, he slouched in his seat and tried to look inconspicuous.

The music was great, too. Deen was passionate, his bandmates were reliable, and he sounded good live. Nico didn’t listen to much music, but if he did, he’d probably listen to Deen’s. That was sort of like a compliment. He was pretty sure he shouldn’t say that to Deen, though.

All he could think as the night went on was, God, don’t pull me up on stage.

Not with the thousands of fans around—literally thousands; the stadium was huge, like everything was in Texas.

After a high-energy song ended and Deen started to smile that certain way, Nico’s nerves immediately jolted. Don’t do it.

“This is a special surprise for you guys. One of you in particular, but all you guys in Houston supporting me after four whole weeks away from the tour. I know some of you watched my vlogs—isn’t that a weird word? Feels pretentious. God. My YouTube shit, about the park.” A few cheers went up. “Yeah! National Parks Service. Rogue or not, they’re the badasses of today’s world.” More cheers and applause.

Don’t you dare. Nico folded his arms, his cheeks burning.

“I did a lot of thinking. One of the things I decided was that I need more breaks from tours.” Groans now. “I know, I know. I’m not stopping completely. I’m gonna keep trying to hit the same cities, too. Just a little less often. So I have more time to create new stuff for you. ’Cause what you don’t know here is that I wrote most of my next new album while I was hunkered down in the woods.” Even more cheering at that. “Don’t get excited yet. It’s a long way from post-production. But I wanted to play the demo of one of the songs for you, maybe even the title track. It’s called Splinter.”

The melody was slower, softer than most of the rock tracks so far. There were even some plucked strings, kind of bluegrass-style, but very subtly so.

And the lyrics. Jesus.

Nico couldn’t make them all out, but one stuck in his head from the bridge, just before the tone shifted to more rock than blues.

You’re the smoke on my mountains, the North Star in my sky,

and if you feel like me, boy, there’s no more goodbyes.

The show went on, but Nico didn’t. He kept replaying the snippets of music he could remember, rewinding to the expression on Deen’s face when he talked about writing music in the woods.

It was for him, but in the sweetest way. Deen hadn’t called attention to him, which Nico knew had to have taken self-restraint, but he also hadn’t missed his chance to show how he felt in the biggest possible gesture.

Nico wasn’t surprised when a man in a dark suit came up to him after the show. He just had time for a quick goodbye hug with Ricky before he was led backstage.

It was smaller and more crowded backstage than he’d expected. Stage hands were swarming out to start breaking down the equipment; a few people were walking around and shaking hands of band members and… he didn’t even know who else.

Nico hung back until he was guided to Deen’s dressing room; he knew because it had his name on it.

This is his element, right here.

He was about as far out of his own as he could get.

But Deen was there, giving him a sunbeam of a smile and opening his arms as the bouncer—PA—whatever the hell he was—closed the door behind himself.

“Baby. You came.”

“I came.” Nico wrapped his arms around Deen so tightly Deen squeaked, and picked him up off the ground for a moment. “I love you.”

Deen’s breath rushed out. “That wasn’t over-the-top?”

His brain wasn’t coming up with anything better, so Nico repeated firmer and louder, “I love you. Even if you’re a fucking splinter sometimes more than others.”

Deen laughed quietly and pressed his lips into Nico’s neck. “I missed you, baby.” His breath was warm. “Did I do okay?”

“You’re a fucking star. Of course you did great. I had no idea you were so…” Deen waited, and Nico fumbled for a word. “Famous?”

Deen laughed. “But you’re not freaked out?”

“I don’t think I’d tell them I get exclusive access to your pants and then crowdsurf, but I don’t mind.”

Deen’s laugh, so rich and warm when it rolled in the forests, bounced hollowly off the walls here. “I love you.”

They still hadn’t let go of each other.

“Jesus Christ. It’s been, what, three days?”

“We’re pretty sickening,” Deen agreed. “It’s true.”

“How the hell am I gonna make it through the next… I don’t know. Days.” Nico groaned. He hadn’t really meant to bring the subject up so soon.

Deen pressed slow kisses up Nico’s neck to his ear. “I thought I’d say fuck it to a couple things after the Jersey City show, fly to Knoxville for two days. If you can get them off.”

“I’ll get them off. I’ll get it all off,” Nico growled playfully.

Deen ground against him slowly, flicking his tongue against Nico’s earlobe. “Do it.”

“Wh-What? Here?” Nico had almost lost his sense of shock at anything Deen suggested, but it was so busy out there!

“They know much better than to disturb me when the door’s closed,” Deen chuckled deeply. Already, he was rubbing Nico’s thighs. “I want you, baby. Wanna fuck you.”

He sparkled with adrenaline and energy and life. The quiet, thoughtful man in the woods was not the raw-edged man sliding his hands into Nico’s jeans to squeeze his bare ass.

“If—if you’re sure,” Nico breathed a quick laugh. He let Deen push him backward and steer him, stepping slowly but keeping his eyes on Deen the whole time until Deen guided him to sit on a small, low couch in the room.

“I bet this couch has squeaked a lot.”

Nico grinned, leaning up to kiss Deen a few times. “Let’s hope it’s well-oiled.”

Deen was wriggling and pulling his skinny jeans down around his thighs, then his underwear down. God, he was gorgeous. In any state of dress, undress, or anything in between.

“Stop looking at me like that when I’m trying to fuck you like an animal,” Deen growled.

Nico smirked. “Sorry.” He rolled over to give Deen a view of the goods as he unbuttoned his jeans and slid them down around his own thighs. Then, bracing himself on the couch, he gripped the arm of the sofa and turned to cast a look over his shoulder. “Coming in?” Why wasn’t he surprised that Deen had lube in his hand? He laughed and added, “Were you expecting me?”

“I was… hoping.” Deen flushed like he’d been caught having an embarrassing, sentimental moment. But with his hand around his hardening dick, the effect was somewhat sexier than he probably knew.

“Come around this side,” Nico jerked his chin. “Let me get you ready.”

He kept his ass in the air, tempting Deen and reminding him what the end goal here was, as Deen’s cock head pressed against his lips. Tight, wet suction around Deen’s delicious, thickening shaft, and that was enough to make Deen groan shamelessly.

Nico swallowed it to the back of his throat and bobbed his head a few times, then held still with just his lips wrapped around the plump head and gazed up Deen’s body to make it clear.

“Fucking hell. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me since… I don’t even know. I can’t even think straight around you,” Deen groaned. “I used to fuck and drink and smoke and party after all my shows, and now all I want…” he trailed off.

Is me? Nico tried not to grin. Too many teeth, too much danger. It was hard, though, when his whole body felt warm with appreciation. “Mmm?”

Deen stroked his cheeks with his palms and fucked his mouth gently, his eyes fixed on the hard, pink skin sliding across Nico’s friction-swollen lips. “Is you.”

Nico wriggled backward at last, keeping his tongue out so the head could rest on it for a moment, lapping a few times until Deen squirmed and he laughed. “So show me.”

Deen’s fingers slid inside without much resistance. He was slow and careful, the cold lube heating up almost instantly, but the sensitive nerve endings wanted so much more than the thinness of his delicate fingers.

The stretch of the hard, hot cock that followed was much more like it.

“Yes,” Nico groaned. “You’re not hurting me, baby. Go on.”

With his encouragement, Deen slid in with short, sharp thrusts, until he bottomed out and his balls slapped Nico’s ass. “You’re so fucking tight for me. Makes me wanna fill you up all night.”

“Do it,” Nico growled. “You said you were gonna fuck me like an animal.”

“I love that dirty mouth I found on you.”

“Excuse you.” Nico snorted. “I had it long before I met you. You just…” It was hard to put together words when that shaft was sliding in and out, slowly at first, then very soon harder and faster. “Encouraged it.”

“You bet I did.” Deen dug his nails into Nico’s hips and pulled his ass up for an even better angle, taking charge without hesitation. Deen might have had a thing for Nico getting bossy, but Jesus, was he ever a good top himself. Not a lot of guys were both, he’d heard.

Nico was the luckiest man in the world. “God, you made me the happiest slut out there.”

“Oh, you are, are you?” Deen slapped his ass as he pounded it, then grabbed his shoulder—always, always his good shoulder—to push his head down as he pulled his hips up. “A slut for me?”

“I need you, baby,” Nico moaned, his cheeks burning with desire. His body was tight already, his skin sparking with the electric charge of prostate stimulation. His cock was hard and throbbing, needy for attention. Every brush of Deen’s hand on his skin made him come alive.

“That’s lucky, ’cause I need you, too.” Deen’s voice was breathy, hoarse. He cleared his throat. “N-Need you to tell me how you like it.”

“This is good, babe. So good. I’m gonna come all over this sofa,” Nico laughed, his forehead pressed into the armrest. “You’re so fucking big. Fill me up so good. Want you to come in me.”

“Yeah? You want me to ride you hard and put you up wet?” Deen growled, and it didn’t even sound cheesy coming out of those sinful lips. It sounded so good Nico’s whole body tightened and shivered in pleasure, squeezing around the shaft still pumping into him hard and fast. “Oh. Oh, you loved that,” Deen groaned.

Nico’s voice was scratchy and breathless now. He couldn’t focus when every inch of his body burned for release. “Y-Yeah. Yeah, please…!” He reached around under himself but found his hand slapped away. “Oh, fuck. No, you’re not gonna tease me. I’ll… I’ll yell.”

“Go on, try it,” Deen snickered. Despite the threat, Deen wrapped his own hand around Nico’s throbbing shaft, making Nico shudder with overstimulation for a second before he settled into the hard, fast rhythm with which Deen fucked him and jerked him at the same time. “That better?”

“So much,” Nico whispered, and he didn’t just mean in this moment.

Everything was better.

When he came, it was so hard he cried Deen’s name without even thinking about soundproofing or his own dignity.

He didn’t just feel okay with people knowing about the two of them. He loved him, and he didn’t give a single flying fuck who knew. He wanted them to know.

He’s mine.

Hot, shuddering spasms of pleasure left his own chest and Deen’s hand sticky, but nothing was better than feeling Deen’s rhythm shudder and slow. He twisted to look back over his shoulder.

Deen’s eyes were screwed tightly, his lips parted, his head thrown back. Chest to chin, his throat made a beautiful line that Nico wanted to lick. He was moaning almost too softly to be heard as he filled Nico with heat and warmth and wetness, just as he’d promised.

And even when he slowed and stopped, slipped free, he kept his hands on Nico’s hips, then rubbed his back, touched his stomach and chest… like he couldn’t contain himself.

Nico knew how he felt. He’d almost sweated through his shirt and he was gonna need some water on that stain right away, but he didn’t care.

He collapsed on the couch and pulled Deen against his chest, wrapped his arms around him, and stifled his protesting moan with kisses. “I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good,” Deen breathed, and for just a minute, that wound-up energy seemed to be forgotten. He let Nico hold him as he closed his eyes, a smile creeping across his face. “I love you.”

“I love you. I don’t care what we have to do to work this out.”

“The sex is that good, huh?” Deen murmured teasingly.

“You’re that good.”

Deen went still for a long few moments, until Nico almost wondered if he hadn’t heard. Finally, he let a slow breath out and rubbed his cheek against Nico’s chest. “I kind of believe it. Do you? That you are?”

“With you to tell me so, I do.”

“Then we’ll make this work,” Deen whispered, and Nico’s heart soared. Whatever price he had to pay to keep this wonderful man in his life, it would be worth it.

He was worth it—they were worth it.

Epilogue

Nico, six months later

“You should write a guidebook.”

“A what?”

“Best spots for Skype video in the Smokies.” Deen grinned at him as he poked a fork through the eggs he was scrambling. “You’re an expert now.”

“God, those first couple months,” Nico groaned. Deen was making him sit back and relax while he cooked him breakfast, so he was happy to put his feet up.

It had been damn near impossible to resist quitting his job impulsively just to go join Deen, but they’d made do. Deen had visited Knoxville after his Jersey City concert; Nico had taken vacation days to fly to Orlando for one of the final concerts on the tour. They’d made it work, with the side effect of desperate physical desire for the first twelve hours they were together again.

Not a bad side effect, but exhausting.

Then, Deen had come to live here, and Nico had worked out an arrangement with his bosses to work ten days straight—during which time Deen produced or mastered or whatever the hell he was doing these days. Then he took his four weekend days in a row, and came to live with Deen for that time.

Four days straight of just the two of them—very occasionally interrupted by his friends, or Deen’s—was heaven, but separating again at the end of those four days was hell.

But the end was finally in sight.

This was a celebration breakfast, Deen had told him, for getting the transfer. He wasn’t quitting the Parks Service entirely yet, though he’d thought about it. He was a valuable name for PR, and someone higher up had seen that. Now he was going to take an educational role, which meant some touring… ironically, after all Deen had done to cut back his own road life. But it wasn’t going to be constant, and a lot of his work would be local.

“I’ve never been more productive, though.” Deen was arranging food on their plates. In these past few months, since telling the label to screw off and give him his life back, he’d started to cook and bake, he’d bought a barbecue for the backyard, and the house had come alive with little personal touches.

Or maybe some of that was Nico, sneakily decorating this place since he was limited in potential with the ranger station. He wouldn’t admit to it.

“Without me around?” Nico grinned.

“You know what I mean,” Deen sighed. “It’s like… little cycles of nature. The downtime with you recharges me, and then I blossom again, produce fruit, and just as I’m winding down, you’re here with me again.”

“But soon I’ll be here all the time. What will you do?”

“It is winter. Something to do with downtime,” Deen hummed. “Fuck all winter long?”

Nico snorted. “Oh, no. Tragic.”

“We’ll make do somehow.” The plates of food Deen set at the table were beautiful—artfully arranged and garnished.

They chatted over breakfast, but something was up with Deen. He was high-strung and nervous. Nico had just put it down to the album he was in the middle of producing when the answer became obvious.

After the dishes were clear, Deen cleared his throat. “I have… I’m ready for you to hear it.”

Nico’s jaw dropped. Deen had basically entered a creative cave, not letting anyone who didn’t strictly need to hear the new album hear it. He’d gotten no more than a few chords, stray words when Deen sang in the shower, and a glimpse at some of the track titles. That was it.

“You want me to listen now? I dunno…” Nico teased. “I might not like it.” Deen almost went pale, and he laughed. “No, babe. I’m teasing.”

Deen shoved headphones and a little mp3 music player at him. “Close your eyes and immerse yourself in it. This is just one track so far.”

He recognized the opening chord anywhere.

It was that song—the smoky mountain one.

Nico kept his eyes closed but smiled, listening to the perfectly orchestrated notes. The demo had evolved, grown legs, turned much more rock from its bluegrass beginnings, but that was still buried in there under layers of sound.

It was a shame Deen could only hear the layers of his own art; he couldn’t see it with the inexpert eye that Nico brought, and appreciate it as a whole without needing to think about its construction.

Smoky Love. That was the title scrolling across the mp3 player when the last notes faded and he opened his eyes.

And Deen was on his knees in front of him, a small wooden box open, and something metal glinting inside.

Nico’s jaw dropped and he froze halfway through removing his headphones, a lump in his throat. No. Surely he couldn’t be… he couldn’t get his hopes up that Deen was…

“Nico… I never knew I needed a muse until I found you. Would you be mine, forever?”

Nico felt better that Deen was crying, too, as he said it. All he could manage was, “Yes. I’d… I’d love that more than anything.”

It was simple, understated, not at all Deen’s style, but perfectly Nico’s. No fanfare, no flash mobs, just the two of them, contented, together. One more little way Deen showed that he knew Nico inside and out.

The winter sun was rising over the clouds that swirled across his beloved mountains, reddening the sky. The view of the Smokies from their kitchen window was one of Nico’s favorite parts of the house they now shared, and it couldn’t be more perfect right now.

“I love you,” Deen whispered, his hands shaking as he slid the ring onto Nico’s finger.

And as Nico pulled Deen to his feet and rose, too, to hug him so tight that neither of them could breathe, those words seemed like too little to express everything that was in his heart.

So he said the first thing that came to mind, the thing that made Deen catch his breath and glow.

“You’re my North Star, Deen Jayse. Forever.”

Thanks for reading!

If you enjoyed Splinter, please consider leaving me an Amazon or Goodreads review.

As always, I appreciate your support!

Don’t miss the next Significant Brothers book…

Zoo vet Blane’s grumpy attitude and muscles hide a romantic heart. He only relaxes when he's around animals, since he likes them more than people. Until he meets a certain incessantly cheerful artist…

Studying meerkats as he paints a wedding present for his sister gives Falcon the perfect excuse to creep on the hot vet. It takes his mind off the dreaded event: he’s happy for his sister, but his secret ex will be at the wedding. His asshole secret ex.

The solution is obvious: Blane can be Falcon's plus-one and show Spencer that Falcon’s moved on to bigger, better things all these years later. But feelings grow as Falcon coaxes Blane out of his shell. Just as happiness seems within their grasp, jealousy threatens to tear it away for good.

Grasp will be released on August 22nd, 2017.

Don’t miss the next installment of the Significant Brothers series. For exclusive release notifications, sign up for my newsletter below!

http://www.edaviesbooks.com/subscribe

About the Author

Gay romance author E. Davies grew up moving constantly, which taught him what people have in common, the ways relationships are formed, and the dangers of “miscellaneous” boxes. As a young gay author whose role models were characters punished for their sexuality, Ed prefers his stories lightly dramatic, full of optimism and hope.

Now out and proud, Ed writes full-time, goes on long nature walks, tries to fill his passport, drinks piña coladas on the beach, flees from cute guys, coos over fuzzy animals (especially bees), and is liable to tilt his head and click his tongue if you don't use your turn signal.

Ed’s Twitter, Facebook, and website:

www.edaviesbooks.com

FacebookFacebook

TwitterTwitter