Table of Contents

Title Page

Making His Baby

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Chapter 46

Chapter 47

Chapter 48

Epilogue

Revenge F*ck

Novella collection by Lulu Pratt

Author's note

In Deep (Preview)

Overlooked (Preview)

Making His Baby

By Lulu Pratt

Copyright © 2017 by Lulu Pratt

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

***

Thank you for reading this. I hope you enjoy Making His Baby.

Making His Baby

We’re making this baby the old-fashioned way.

With my billions, I’ll pay whatever it takes for her to have my child.

And I’m going to have fun putting it in her.

After the baby’s born, she can go back to her regular life.

But the way she screams my name in bed makes me want more.

For the first time in years I want an actual relationship.

Until I realize there’s something she’s not telling me.

A secret from the past.

And her plan to ruin everything.

Chapter 1

BLAKE

High-school reunions. Fuck me. Mine is in my face, and it’s the last thing I want to face, no matter how much better I am now. Too many memories.

“Dude. You still there?” My closest friend Ben’s voice is in my ear, bringing me back from my reverie.

“Yeah, sorry,” I glance around my old stomping ground. “I’m just not looking forward to this shit in the slightest. Why did I let you talk me into doing this?”

“Because you’re the big shit now, man. Time to show those bitches up.”

“Right. ‘Cause that’s me.” I roll my eyes and try to keep myself from turning on my heel and walking the fuck back to my car.

“Just hang out with some old friends and have a good time, Blake. Find an old girlfriend and tap that ass, brother.”

“You sound like an idiot. I’ll call you later when I’m smashed.” I drop the call and take a deep breath. He’s right though. He usually is. Bastard.

Besides, it will be good to see some of my old friends. And it will be even better to hear about how they’re doing and what they’ve been up to. That is why I’m here, or at least it’s how Ben convinced me to come. With a bit of luck and some conversational leading, I might be able to avoid talking about myself entirely. We’ll see.

“Fifteen years. Damn, I’m fucking old,” I mumble to myself.

It was odd for our class president to decide to do it on the fifteen-year mark. Personal agenda for sure. Five years before, the fucker got busted on a drug charge that took my ex down as well. Now though, he can brag about the successful sporting goods store he opened. My ex wasn’t so lucky.

I walk through the entrance to my old high school, feeling a weird sense of traveling back in time. Almost immediately, someone calls out from behind me as I walk through the hall.

“There he is!” It’s a man’s voice. I am tempted to keep walking and pretend I don’t hear it, but the shout is followed by the sound of rushed footsteps. Whoever it is runs up behind me. “We didn’t know if you were coming, Mr. Doesn’t Reply To Our Messages!”

Turning around, I instantly spot the owner of the voice. It’s Clark, one of my good friends from high school. He was the class clown of our year. As he rushes to me, he wears that same big goofy smile that he was known for, although now, he is about forty pounds heavier.

“Hey,” I say with a forced smile. It’s not that I don’t like Clark. In fact, out of everyone at the reunion, Clark is the person I’ve been looking forward to seeing the most. It’s just that Clark, like everyone else, reminds me of a past I’ve been trying to forget, and once again I struggle to understand why I’m even here. “It’s good to see you, Clark.” I stick out my hand to shake his.

“Me?” He asks. “Dude, it’s good to see you, Blake! Hot damn, what’s it been? Don’t you dare tell me I haven’t seen you since graduation. Don’t you dare tell me that!” He still wears that big goofy grin. I can smell the beer on his breath. He’s got to be a few beers deep at this point.

“Okay,” I say with a grin. “I won’t tell you that.”

“You—!” He smirks, feigning a punch at my gut. “Come on, the whole crew is here! I’ll show you.”

He grabs me by the arm and leads me through the hall to the actual reunion itself. Flashing, multi-colored lights spill from the doors to the gymnasium. Music thumps loudly in my ears as we get closer.

The gym is decorated in typical fashion. Streamers and balloons cover the walls, all blue and white to match the school’s colors. A huge banner reading “Class of 2002” hangs from the ceiling, stretching across the entire length of the gym.

The crowd that has turned up is a mixture of people like Clark, overly excited at the prospect of catching up on old times, and people like me, apathetic to the idea, but still here out of some sort of moral obligation.

“We had bets on whether or not you were going to make it,” Clark slurs. His arm drapes around my neck as he leads me through the masses. Some I recognize, some I don’t. I’m not the only one who has changed since high school.

“Oh yeah?” I say, raising an eyebrow. “How much was I going for?”

Clark throws his head back in an exaggerated laugh. “Not as much as you would like.”

With his arm still hanging on me, he leads me to a large table in the corner of the room. Sitting around the table are eight faces that I recognize all too well.

Five men and three women, they are my collective “friends from high school.” The ones I used to hang out with during the day and drink with at night. When we could find someone willing to buy us alcohol, that is.

A pleasant wave of nostalgia hits me as I look at them. Like most people’s high school experience, mine had its ups and downs, but these were the people who got me through it. We grew up together. A lot of my formative experiences were with these people right here.

Judging from their body language, I guess that most of them, like me, have fallen out of contact with each other, and they are using this night as a means to catch up and trade old war stories. It makes me feel a little less guilty about not having spoken to any of them for the past fifteen years.

“Look who I found,” Clark says as he pushes me onto the seat by his own. “Lurking in the bushes. Classic Blake!”

“Hey,” I say to no one in particular, not knowing who to address. I opt for a group chat instead.

“Blake,” the woman next to me beams.

“Hey, Sally,” I nod.

She has bushy red hair and white, porcelain skin. She was my first kiss, and I’m pretty sure I was hers. “It’s been so long. What have you been up to, Blake? Doing well by the looks of it?”

“Oh, you know, this and that,” I say, keeping it vague.

I was poor when I went here. Dirt poor. I come from a broken home that had more problems than money. It’s something that I don’t like to talk about, and I hate being reminded of it. But now that I’m successful and more than a little rich, I realize that I don’t really want to talk about that either.

I don’t want them fawning over me or grilling me about the specifics of my job. People always find my work a little too interesting, and it grates on a person after a while.

But then it hits me. I don’t have anything else to talk about. All I do is work. Whereas they’re all laughing and talking about their kids.

“Sounds interesting,” Sally continues, holding her smile on me as she does.

“Oh, it’s not,” I say, giving my head a shake. “Trust me. It’s just business crap. Suits, too much coffee and a lot of missed weekends. Nothing to tell really.”

I’m a film producer and getting to be a pretty successful one, too. I made my fortune through a few smart investments in college, and I used that money to open a production company. Ten years later, I’m worth more than I’ll ever admit to anyone.

“My son’s two now, the little bugger,” Clark says to everyone in earshot. “So cute that sometimes I just want to eat him up.”

I sip on my drink and listen.

“My oldest daughter starts school next year. So you never settled down, Blake?” Sally asks with a smile.

“No. No kids, no wife.”

I do my best to smile and nod along, but deep down, my stomach churns. Despite my money and success, the one thing my life is missing is a family of my own. I made a choice when I was younger to pursue a career over family. Lately, I’ve been questioning that decision more and more. I want to be a father, but I’m hardly about to enter into a serious relationship with someone. No fucking way.

“Oh damn, I wasn’t looking forward to this,” Clark says a little too loudly.

I look across the gym to see what caught him off guard. The moment I see it, I feel my heart sink.

A giant screen stands behind the makeshift stage. Projected onto that screen is a video, made specifically for the reunion. We were asked to send in clips of our own for a series of videos that would feature. The one playing right now is to commemorate the people who couldn’t be here tonight. Specifically, those who have passed away.

The reason my heart feels the way it does is that I know one face in particular who would be appearing on that screen. Her name is Lyndsey, and she was my high-school sweetheart. And sure enough, as I watch the few names and faces flash on the screen, Lyndsey suddenly appears.

“Hey, didn’t you used to date her?” Clark asks me. He is slurring even more than he was earlier. I guess the alcohol is really kicking in now.

“Yeah,” I say, my voice flat. “I did.”

Chapter 2

CARRIE

The only thing worse than attending a high-school reunion is having to work at one. As I walk among the tables and chairs and dodge the increasingly drunken attendees, I thank the gods that it isn’t my reunion. That drama is still waiting for me.

What makes the reunion that I’m working at right now even worse than it would usually be, is the fact that it’s at the school I graduated from. Because of this, a number of the faces in the crowd are ones that I recognize. Luckily, they’re all at least five years older than I am, so none of them recognize me. Thank God. I’d hate for anyone I knew to see me catering for them. That’s an encounter that would be too much to recover from.

Unfortunately, I have no choice but to work at the event. I’ve been trying to do it as little as possible lately, but I have bills to pay and my other job doesn’t cover them. My other job barely covers the cup of coffee I buy in the morning.

I took this job purely as a means to pay my bills so I can pursue my passion, but as my expenses grow, so do my hours. Now, I can barely find an hour in the week to work on what I want. I actually managed to squeeze a few hours in last night, but that comes with a price. I’m tired now because of it, and it’s really starting to wear on me.

“Are you finished with this?” I ask a very drunken lady as she leans against a table for support, an empty wine glass in her hand.

“Sure am,” she slurs as she hands me the glass.

Just as I’m about to take it, she lets go. I’m fast and manage to snatch it out of the air before it shatters all over the gym floor. I shake my head, walking on before I snap and say something that might get me fired.

I can’t afford to be fired. I need this job, as much as I hate it. I’m a writer, or at least, I try to be. When I’m not catering, I’m hunched over my laptop. I’m currently deep in a book that I have been working on for some time. I want to say that it’s coming along nicely, but even I can’t lie to myself that convincingly.

“Do you mind if I just grab these?” I ask a group of men standing by an empty table.

None of them pay attention to me, which is mildly annoying, but it’s probably for the best. Drunken people are no fun when you’re sober. They’re not nearly as entertaining as they think they are.

The table is laden with half-empty glasses. I start piling them onto the tray that I’m carrying with me.

My mind is only half on the task at hand. The other half is on the presentation that was shown earlier. There have been about five different presentations tonight, most of them mindless fluff about the success of the graduates.

But one video in particular hit me pretty hard. It was a memorial to students who had gone here and have since passed away. Even though this graduating class is five years ahead of my own, there is one student who I knew very well. One who had passed away only a few months ago. Seeing her on that screen is like a punch to the heart.

“Miss! Waiter!” I hear the voice call out behind me, but I ignore it. It’s more than a little demeaning to be called waiter, especially by someone who can barely stand. “Hello? Waiter.”

A hand suddenly falls on my shoulder, pulling me back. As it does, I lose my balance and stumble backwards. The tray in my hand, full of empty glasses, smashes to the floor around my feet.

“Oh no!” The owner of the voice wails.

He’s an overweight man, with a red face and beady eyes. His glassy look and the way he sways dangerously as he stares at the mess he has made suggests to me that he has had a few too many.

“It’s okay,” I assure him as I drop to my knees to pick up the pieces. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Here, let me help,” a deep voice says.

“No, it’s fine…” I trail off as my eyes fall on the man speaking.

It isn’t the drunk who was responsible for my stumble who is helping me. No, this man is about as far a cry from him as possible.

He has dark, slicked-back hair and a chiseled jawline. His eyes, looking down at the broken glass, are a piercing blue. And even though he wears an expensive suit and is currently on his knees, I can tell that he has an impressive frame. This is a man who most certainly didn’t peak in high school. I don’t recognize him, but I sure wish that I did.

For a moment I’m frozen, and all I can do is stare.

“Sorry about my friend,” he says with a grimace as he scoops up a handful of glass shards. “It’s his first night away from the kids in a while. I guess he got a little over excited.”

“That’s okay, really,” I say as I find my voice, which is a little too high-pitched at the moment. “Really.”

This guy has a presence about him that suggests power and dominance. I can already sense it.

“No, it’s not,” he says firmly. “But at least the glasses were empty. We’ll count that as a win.”

“Oh, well, I can’t drink them anyway. So maybe I wish they were full.” It was an attempt at a joke, even though I’m not even sure what the joke even means. I have to work hard to keep my voice steady. I just want to come off as funny and not uptight.

“You can’t have a drink while you’re working?” He asks. For the first time, he looks at me. Those eyes really are piercing, and I have to work not to gasp when I look into them. “That’s a shame.”

“Don’t feel too sorry for me. I’ve been sneaking sips when my boss isn’t looking.”

“And yet, I still do. How about this?” He stands up as he piles the glass shards onto my empty tray. “Hey, what are you doing after this? I think you and I could both use a drink.”

I don’t know what to say. He has completely caught me off guard. Yet, I don’t come across men like this too often or ever. As such, there is only one thing that I can say.

“Sure,” I reply, trying my best to sound coy and not a nervous wreck. “I’d like that.”

Chapter 3

BLAKE

This bar is one that I know only too well, only for the wrong reasons. It’s because of its location near the high school that my friends and I used to try to sneak in here all the time. Now I don’t even need to show identification.

I was going to leave the reunion early, as I’d shown my face, listened to small talk, and needed to get out of there. However, when Clark caused that waitress to stumble and drop the glasses, I felt something else entirely.

I knew I had a reason to stay if only to see if the attractive waitress could leave her shift early. Fortunately, she’d managed, so now we are here.

She is stunning as she sits beside me. Her long brown hair is tied back in a ponytail because of her job. Even though she wears loose jeans and a loose blouse, again for work, I can tell that she has a fit body, one typical of an L.A. beach girl.

But it’s her eyes that caught me. They are the most beautiful shade of hazel I have ever seen. They’re also deep, too, as if she is hiding a secret. Something that she doesn’t want anyone else to know. I can’t stop staring into them.

“So, you’re from around here then?” She asks as she takes a sip of her beer. We’re sitting in the back on the bar, hidden from the drunken locals who currently populate it.

“What makes you say that?” I ask with a coy smile as I take a swig from my own drink, a vodka soda. The fact that she ordered a beer has me impressed, though. If it wasn’t for the fact that I ordered first, I would have gotten the same.

“Well, you led me here like you come here all the time. Either that or you have built-in radar for local, crummy bars. Plus, I mean, you were at the high-school reunion. So, obviously, you went to school here.”

“Perceptive,” I say, smirking. “I used to live in the area, and I used to come here a lot, when I could get in. Would you be surprised if I told you it hasn’t changed at all?”

“I think I would be more surprised to find out that it had changed.” She smiles at her own joke. It’s the first time that I’ve seen it, and it only makes her more beautiful.

“Not much does around here,” I respond as I chuckle at her joke. “I swear the bartender has looked eighty-five for the past fifty years.” I indicate to the bartender, currently cleaning a glass with a dirty rag. He looks like he could be anywhere between fifty and a hundred.

“Does that include you?” She asks. “Did you wear expensive suits and watches when you were in high school? Boy, I bet that made you popular.”

“No, no. I was more of a basketball shorts, T-shirt kind of a guy in high school. With the occasional button down, when I was feeling fancy.”

“Oh, that is fancy,” she jokes as she takes another sip of her beer, more of a swig than a sip really. “So, what do you do that allowed you to swap the shorts for suits?”

I hesitate. As mentioned, I’m not big on telling people what I do, at least not when I first meet them. And if it was anyone else, then I probably wouldn’t have said anything.

But there is something different about Carrie. I find myself wanting to impress her, which is odd for me.

“I’m a film producer.”

“Really?” She asks, instantly perking up. “What kind of films? Anything I’ve seen?”

“I’d be surprised,” I admit. “I mainly do independent films. But I’m looking to expand.”

“Still, that’s pretty amazing.”

“You think so?” I ask as I take another sip. As I do, I keep my eyes trained on her, making sure to catch her own.

“Anyone who does what they love for a living is impressive,” she counters. “I wish I could do that.”

“What do you do?” I ask.

It’s small talk, but for some reason it doesn’t seem that way. It feels like we’re creating a connection more than anything. I have known her for less than an hour and yet if you were to ask me now, I would swear it was longer.

“You know what I do,” she says coyly, offering me a wink as she sips on her drink.

“Apart from working for the number-one caterer in L.A.?”

“I’m a writer,” she says. “Or at least, I’m trying to be one.”

“Trying?”

“Well, I will be one, I mean. It just takes time, and practice, and more time.”

I can tell that it’s a sensitive subject for her. So naturally I push.

“Anything worth doing takes time,” I tell her. “That’s how you know it’s worth it.”

“And was it that way for you?” She asks. She sounds as if she doesn’t believe me, or doesn’t want to anyway.

“Of course. The first movie I produced took two years, and I lost money. But I used that experience to make another and another, and, well, now you’ve seen the suit.” I flick the lapel on my suit, and she laughs as I do. It’s a sweet laugh, one that I want to hear again.

“Okay. I’ll take your word for it. For now. But if it doesn’t work out for me. I’m going to blame you.”

“Deal.”

***

We have been in the bar for at least three hours. But the conversation has been effortless and free flowing. There have been no gaps, no awkward pauses.

Everything that has been said has been built off previous conversation, I can sense myself getting to know her on a deeper and more intimate level.

It’s strange, but as I glance at my watch, seeing that the night is about to come to an end. My dick twitches at the thought of taking her home and fucking her stupid.

“So, what are your plans after this?” I ask casually.

As I do, I take a sip of my beer. I switched it up after my first drink.

“After the bar? Well, seeing as it’s almost two in the morning, I’m guessing that bed is on the horizon. Or at least Netflix and bed.”

“As great as that sounds. I think that you should come home with me instead.”

I’m straight forward in the way I say it, almost making it so she can’t say no. It’s a trick I had learned from my long years of playing the field.

“Is that right?” She responds, sounding more intrigued than anything.

“Yes. I don’t like the idea of you making your way home in your current state. It’s dangerous, and I wouldn’t forgive myself if anything happened to you.”

“As honorable as that sounds, I think I’ll pass,” she responds. “I’m not that easy. And besides, I require a real date before I go home with a man. One where the location doesn’t smell like stale carpet and bad decisions.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

“I’m counting on it.”

As she finishes her drink, she holds back a small burp, and it’s the cutest thing I think I have ever seen. It is right then that I know I’m going to call her. There’s nothing that will be able to stop me.

Chapter 4

CARRIE

“The orange juice is in. The Champagne is mixed. Now, all I need is the gossip, and we have the makings of an excellent day.” Amy plonks herself down in the chair opposite mine as she takes her first sip of our home-made mimosas. “Not bad. Could do with some more Champagne. But then again, can’t everything?”

Amy is my best friend and has been for the better part of five years. She’s a hairdresser, and that’s how I met her. I went in for a simple haircut and was talked into totally reinventing myself. Since then, I haven’t looked back.

“I invited you over here for some life advice. Not gossip.” I chuckle as I sample our beverage for myself.

It’s only just past noon on a Monday, but as Amy has the day off, she convinced me, very easily, the time was perfect for drinks.

“Gossip? Life advice? Please tell me how the two are different, and I’ll quit drinking today.”

“Fine,” I relent. “I guess you want to hear about Blake?”

“Even his name is sexy,” Amy teases as she leans forward, giving me her utmost attention.

“And so is he. Believe me. Really everything about him was. The way he dressed, the way he spoke. And his eyes, I could have stared at them all night.”

“Then, why didn’t you?” She asks, flashing me a wicked smile.

“Because I’m not that kind of a girl. I told him he needs to take me on a real date. He can afford it. And when he does, well, ask me the next day how my self-control is.”

“I haven’t seen this specimen yet, but the picture I have in my mind is telling. Do you think he’ll call?”

“I think so,” I say with more confidence than I feel.

I am pretty sure that he is going to call, at least I assume that he will, based off the night. But with a guy like that, I can only assume. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a whole host of women chasing him.

“Excellent. That’s all I need to hear.” She takes a mighty sip of her mimosa, nearly finishing it before I have had so much as a mouthful of my own. “Oh, I forgot to ask you. How was the reunion? Was everything okay?”

She grimaces as she asks the question, and I know why.

“Yeah, it was fine,” I admit. “They showed her face on the screen at one point, but I just looked away.”

“You poor thing. How are you holding up? It’s been, what? Three months now?”

“Four as of last Thursday,” I quietly correct her, looking down at my drink as I do. I don’t like to talk about it at the best of times, even with Amy.

The reason for Amy’s reserve is because of my sister, who passed away four months previously. It was a car crash. A drunken driver plowed into the side of her car. And as bad as that was, I was reminded of it at the reunion. They flashed her picture on the big screen at one point, in honor of her passing. It felt like a knife driving through my belly.

“It was hard seeing it. But maybe it’s for the best? Closure for me, you know?”

“Yeah, closure.” Amy reaches forward and rubs the back of my hand. “Trust me. You know Lyndsey, and you know she wouldn’t have wanted you wasting your time mourning over her. She would have wanted you to move on, finish your book and maybe start a family.”

“Yeah, okay,” I scoff. “Let’s take bets on which one comes first. None of them have good odds.”

I’m really not that interest in having a family, and it has a lot to do with my upbringing. I’m an orphan. My mother died when I was very young and my father died when I was eight. For me, there’s really no coming back from that. Lyndsey is my adopted sister, and although she and my adoptive parents did all they could to make me feel like part of the family, I never really felt like I belonged. Not in the truest sense anyway.

Those feelings still haunt me to this day and are a large reason why having a family was very low on my list of things to do.

“Whatever,” Amy says with derision as she waves me down. “You’re gorgeous, and you know it. All you need is a man. Once you have one you like, and trust me on this, he won’t be able to put you down. Who knows, maybe this Blake will be the one. Wedding bells anyone?”

“Stop!” I exclaim, trying not to laugh at my ridiculous friend. “He hasn’t even called me back. If he does. And if I like him. And if he likes me. I think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself.”

“Okay, but you heard it here first,” Amy finishes with a knowing smile, as if she can see something I can’t.

I glare at my best friend as I finish my drink. The moment my glass is empty, I hold it out for her to refill, which she does willingly. The day is young, the drinks are flowing, and I know that the two of us still have a long day of gossiping to get through. I am, truth be told, rather looking forward to it.

Chapter 5

BLAKE

I couldn’t get Carrie out of my head all weekend. Longer than that even. It’s Tuesday morning now and still she haunts my mind.

It has nothing to do with her beauty, even though she has that. And it has nothing to do with the scintillating conversation the two of us had, even though we had that, too.

It was the effortless way in which she turned me down. That kind of thing never happens to me. Women don’t turn me down, ever. Usually, once I have a woman alone, it’s only too easy to get them to come back to my place. But not Carrie. And that was what had me so intrigued three days after meeting her.

Sitting at my desk, I can’t stop staring at my phone.

As a film producer, I often work from home. I’m my own boss, and that allows for me to dictate the rules. It’s a convenient arrangement and is usually a good thing. But today, it has its drawbacks.

I stare at the phone, and I can’t think of a reason not to call. Sure, I can do some more work. But there’s nothing urgent on my schedule until a meeting this afternoon. And sure, I can go for a run, or to the gym, but again, none of it is that pressing.

Finally, after visualizing her perfect ass, I make a snap decision to call Carrie. I pick up the phone, dial the number, take a deep breath and wait for her to answer.

“Hello,” she says on the other end of the line. Her voice is like honey. Music to my ears. I have forgotten how sweet she sounds.

“Carrie, it’s Blake,” I say casually. I want to sound like I called her as an afterthought.

“Oh, hi,” she responds in an upbeat manner. “How are you?”

“Good. Better now that I’ve spoken to you. Wait, is that too cheesy?” Women usually eat that stuff up.

“Definitely too cheesy,” she says, chuckling.

“Damn, I hope you won’t hold that against me. Especially since I called to arrange a time to take you out.”

I am smooth and relaxed as I talk.

“Hmm, I think it might,” she jokes.

At least I hope it’s a joke.

“How about this? I’ll just have to make it up to you. Add it to the list for me having taken you to that crack den the other night.”

“I don’t know. First that crack den. Then that line. I won’t be surprised if you propose to me next.”

I can tell that she is joking, but I wish that I could see her rather than just having to hear her. I operate a lot better face to face. It makes it easier to play off their reactions.

“You’re going to make me beg, aren’t you? I don’t know if I have it in me.”

I lean back in my chair. I can’t believe the chemistry that we share. I have never felt this enthusiastic about a woman, and so quickly. It’s bizarre to say the least.

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to hear it. Just a little begging.” She chuckles again.

I get the sense that she is having a lot of fun toying with me. She is going to say yes. I know she is. It’s just a matter of getting her there.

“Okay, how about this? Carrie, it would do me a great honor if you would let me take you out to dinner tonight. In fact, nothing would please me more. There? How was that?”

“I could do without the sarcasm.”

“Oh, come on.”

“Kidding,” she cuts in quickly. I can hear her laughing to herself on the other end of the line. She is definitely enjoying herself. “I have some bad news anyway. I can’t tonight. I have other plans.”

“Well, cancel them,” I say quickly and with force.

“Wow, is that how it’s going to be?” She asked.

I don’t know how, but I can tell that she’s smiling on the other end of the line.

“For now.”

“Either way, I have very firm plans for tomorrow night, too. So if I do come out tonight, it’s going to have to be a short dinner. If you were hoping for something to happen afterward, you might just have to realign your goals.”

I love the way that she toys with me. It’s such a turn on. I’m glad that I’m sitting at my desk and alone, for I could feel my pants tightening with thoughts of what I wanted to do to her.

“Is that so?” I ask, the tone of my voice telling her that I didn’t believe her for a second.

“It is so. Very much.”

“Okay,” I say. “How about this? Come and have dinner with me tonight. If you want to call it a night at the end, I won’t try to stop you. But I can almost guarantee that won’t be the case. In fact, I’m willing to put money on it.”

“Really?” I could hear her openly laughing on the other end of the line. I have her.

“You’re very confident.”

“It helps in my line of work.”

“Fine, I give up,” she relents. She was always going to. She just needed some convincing. “Where are we going?”

“I’ll text you the details. And don’t be late. I hate tardiness.”

Hanging up the phone, I have a smile on my face, and as I am alone, I don’t bother hiding it or trying to wipe it off. Instead, I wear it proudly like a badge of honor. Carrie talks a big game and acts like she is certain she is going home afterwards. But based off our conversation and how much we were flirting, I know that it would be otherwise. In fact, I am all but certain that I will be taking Carrie home with me.

Chapter 6

CARRIE

Blake sends me a text almost the minute after he hung up the phone. And even after I get the text message, with the location of the restaurant and time to meet, I continue to stare down at my phone as if it is some sort of alien device. I just can’t believe that he has invited me out to dinner.

And it isn’t just the fact that he had done it, but the way that he did. He is so sure and confident in himself. It is like nothing I have ever experienced. I tried my best to deflect and act like I wasn’t impressed by his cockiness, but it was just that, an act. Really my heart was beating a million times a minute.

***

The restaurant is a fancy Italian spot that I have never been to before. It is the kind of place that I have never even dreamt of going. The items on the menu cost more than I make a week, and the drinks cost more than I make a night. Naturally, as I arrive and see the place, I’m a little nervous.

It’s earlier than Blake had indicated in the text, and that is by design. I like to arrive to dates early so that I can get my foundations down and settle myself in. Sometimes, I will even order a glass of wine, in case I need to loosen up.

I walk through the restaurant to the booked table, and as I do, I feel increasingly nervous, as if I don’t belong. In fact, I can sense the eyes of the other patrons on me, like they know I’m a faker.

Reaching my chair, I just about fall into it with relief. As I tuck myself into the table, I quickly order a glass of red. My plan is to loosen up myself, just enough so that when Blake does walk through the door, I can be myself and deflect the charm I know he is going to bring.

I am halfway through my glass when I spot him. The moment I do, I feel my knees go weak and I thank God that I am sitting down, another reason for arriving early. He spots me instantly and walks to me with a smirk on his face.

He looks as handsome as I remember. In a navy-blue suit, offset by an open white shirt, he’s more akin to a model than a mere mortal man. His hair is slicked back and impeccable, and his eyes seem to be undressing me or are those just my hopes being projected on him.

“You’re early,” he says as he slips into his chair.

“Maybe you’re late,” I quip back as I sip my drink.

He isn’t late. He is actually right on time. Perfectly so, as if he has been waiting outside for the clock to strike six.

“It’s possible, but unlikely,” he says, not in the least bit put off by my attitude. “And you started without me.”

“Oh this?” I ask, pushing my half empty glass across the table. “I got sick of waiting.”

“I’ll try to improve for next time.”

“Next time?” I ask, raising my eyebrow in an exaggerated fashion.

“Unless I’m getting ahead of myself. But I contacted my fortune-teller earlier, and she assured me that this wasn’t going to be a one-time thing.”

“I think you should fire her,” I say, working hard to hide my smile. “She’s clearly a fraud.”

“So, Carrie, you’re saying that I’m not going to discover the cure for cancer tomorrow? How disappointing.”

He is unflappable. Everything that I say, he seems to have an answer for. But more than that, everything he says, I seem to have an answer for, too. I have never felt such a connection with a date as quickly as I do with him.

“How about you concentrate on the task at hand, Blake? That is keeping me entertained. You can worry about cancer tomorrow.”

“Deal,” he responds, smirking to himself as he does.

The banter doesn’t stop there. As the night progresses, our appetizers are replaced by our entrees, and those are replaced by dessert. Things between us only seem to escalate.

When we first had drinks, I thought that maybe Blake was just having a good night. But as we eat dinner, here and now, I can see that this is just his personality, calm, cool and oh so confident. And despite myself, I’m finding it harder and harder to resist him.

“So,” he begins as our desserts arrive. He wears the same attractive smirk that he has all night. It is clear that he knows what it does to those around him, especially women and he is obviously determined to use it on me. “What are your plans for the rest of the night?”

“Tonight? Nothing. But tomorrow, I told you already. I have that early start.”

I look away from him as I speak. I can’t look into his eyes. If I do, I know I will become lost and will thus find it a heck of a lot harder to say no to him.

“Oh, perfect. So, you’re free after dinner, then?”

“Technically speaking.”

There is a piece of chocolate cake in front of me that I am trying hard to resist as well. But I realize that I can use it to my advantage. I scoop a portion onto my fork, making sure to all but suck it off the end. My lips press out as I do.

“Does that mean you’re going to join me for a drink?” He leans in, speaking at just above a whisper. The restaurant is crowded, but all that noise is barely registering on me. Like a viper dancing before its master, Blake has hypnotized me.

“What do you think?” I say, swallowing the cake, nice and slow.

“I think you’re going to.” He smiles a little as he speaks. As if he knows the answer before I even say it.

“Again, I’m going to suggest that you fire that fortune-teller of yours because there’s no way that I’m coming back to your place.”

I don’t look at him as I speak, but somehow, I’ve managed to resist him, even though I hate myself at the moment.

“She will be disappointed. But not as much as me.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll manage,” I say, smirking to myself.

I couldn’t be prouder of the self-control I’m exhibiting. Plus, something tells me that he isn’t used to be rejected. That thought fills me with indescribable warmth.

“I’m sure I will, Carrie.”

***

Blake drives a very modern, very expensive and very fast car. It’s one that I don’t recognize, and even as he tells me the name, it doesn’t ring a bell.

“So, this is you?” He asks as his car pulls up in front of my apartment building. It’s a small building, only housing four studio apartments. Mine is the smallest of the lot, too, and by the far the cheapest.

“This is me,” I confirm as I open the car door.

As I do, his hand reaches out and touches my shoulder. It sends a shiver up my spine as goosebumps break out across my skin.

“I’ll call you, okay?” He asks.

“I hope you do,” I say, smiling at him.

Then, just as I am about to climb from the car, his hand moves from my shoulder to behind my head. He pulls me to him, and I find myself moving. I can’t stop myself. I don’t want to stop.

I have been glancing at his lips all night, wondering what he tastes like. As our lips meet, I am not disappointed. I could kiss him for hours, days even. But I am playing a game, and at the moment, I am winning.

After no more than a second, I pull myself from his lips, offer him another smile, and climb from the car. Walking up to my apartment, I turn back slightly and offer him a short wave before disappearing.

The entire walk to my front door, I think about what I am doing. Should I turn around, jump in his car and go back to his place? It takes all my willpower to assure myself that I am making the right decision. But even still, as I walk through my front door and into my cold, lonely apartment, I’m not so sure.

I go to the window and see that he has already driven away. Even if I had changed my mind, he has already made it up for me.

Chapter 7

BLAKE

After watching Carrie walk inside, I pull my Aston Martin out onto the street. It’s all I can do to keep my eyes and mind on the road as I slowly navigate my way back to my house.

I just can’t believe how that date went. And not just how it went, but how it ended.

Right from the get go, I could sense the spark. Right from the start, that spark ignited a flame between the two of us that burned brighter and stronger as the night progressed. And as we ate, drank and laughed, I was sure that tonight she would be mine.

And yet here I am, driving home alone.

The funny thing is, now I only want her more. She has this power over me that she is surely aware of. I know she is. She lures me in with her light flirting and playful banter, only to sidestep my advances like a pro. I have never met a woman like her. I am, without a doubt, going to see her again. I have to.

I pull my Aston Martin up to my house, and I have to blink myself back into reality. That drive, one that takes at least thirty minutes, feels like it took ten seconds. The entire way, my mind was occupied with thoughts of Carrie, and even now, I can’t for the life of me think how I managed to get home.

My house is a pretty lush kind of a place. It’s a two-story affair, located just off Beverly Hills. I had the option of living in Beverly Hills, but that isn’t really my scene. The people there are all born into money, and I’ve never really been able to connect with them.

So instead I opted to buy a place that is close enough to carry the same kind of cache as Beverly Hills but houses different sorts. The people I work with remind me that I don’t fit in with them either. Which is fine, as I am doing well enough that I don’t need their connections or their inherited wealth, while I have the drive and intelligence to ensure that I succeed on my own terms.

I’ve always found that’s the problem with coming from nothing. I don’t connect with anyone. Not really, anyway. My high-school reunion confirmed that I’ve outgrown those I grew up with.

That’s why tonight was so unique. I feel like I’ve known Carrie for years, not days. She is from a similar background as me, but like me, she aims to make something better of herself.

Walking into my house, I’m reminded that despite all my money and success, how beautiful my house is, with its modern architecture, artwork, wooden floors and open spaces, I am isolated.

It’s odd, but I can’t help but think of what it would be like if Carrie was here. And not in a one-night stand sense either. But if she lived here. If we were together. Sure, it’s way too soon to have such thoughts, but still, there’s no reason I can’t dream it. Even if it is only for a second.

Those thoughts quickly mutate though. As I make my way to my bedroom, it doesn’t take long for me to wonder what the night may have been had Carrie said yes to coming home with me. Standing at the end of my California king-size bed, I imagine how it would have been to have her here, to have stripped off that black dress she was wearing. To have kissed down the back of her neck, play with her breasts and bend her over.

I can feel my cock growing thick and hard. Still thinking of Carrie, I undo my pants and drop them to the ground. The release is sensational as my hard cock springs forward, already sticking straight up like a rocket.

I sit on the edge of my bed, closing my eyes as I wrap my hand around myself. My cock is thick, and it pulsates in my palm. I imagine myself kissing Carrie, sucking on her nipples and stroking her thighs as I begin to stroke my own cock. My hand is wrapped around its base, and I slowly move it up and down.

I’m going down on Carrie now, licking her folds and sucking on her clit. She is moaning with pleasure and I can taste her excitement. As I do, I continue to stroke my cock. I loosen my grip just enough so my hand can slide all the way up and down the long, stiff shaft. It feels amazing, and I imagine what it would be like if it was Carrie’s hand instead of my own.

Up and down I stroke. I increase the speed as I imagine Carrie sitting on it. I increase the tempo as I imagine her bouncing on it, her tits jiggling. She rides me with full force, moaning, screaming. She loves how big I am. I love how tight she is, how wet she is. I fall on my back, imagining her hands pressed on my chest as she rides me. I reach up and squeeze her heaving breasts.

She tells me she is about to come. A playful smile on her lips and her eyes shining with pleasure. I stroke myself harder. She asks me to come with her. I continue to work myself. Up and down. And then, as she comes on top of me, I explode.

I let off a moan as hot, sticky cum shoots from the end of my cock. I don’t even care about the mess it makes. I don’t even care that my hand stays wrapped around my dick long after I finish myself off. All I care about in that moment is Carrie and how much I want her.

Chapter 8

CARRIE

My laptop is my haven. Whenever I’m stressed out, sad or feeling a little emotional, I know I can sit down, spend a few hours typing, and all those emotions will melt right off me. But today, I’m at my laptop for a different reason. It’s all to do with Blake.

He is incredible. I can’t stop thinking about him. I haven’t been able to since last night. My sleep last night was one of the most uncomfortable in recent memory. The moment I got home from my date, I got ready for bed. But it was a fruitless effort as I quickly realized that sleep wasn’t going to come. I tossed and I turned, all the while wondering if I made the right choice in denying Blake. Maybe I should have gone home with him? Maybe I should have invited him in for a night cap?

That is why I’m sitting at my laptop right now. I have all these thoughts running through my head, so I figure I best channel them into my work. I was working on another book, but I’ve decided to put that to the side for now. I feel a fresh wave of inspiration, and I know that while I have that, I best take advantage of it.

My new book will be a romance. It will be filled with passion, love and regret. And, most importantly, it will be inspired by Blake.

***

I have been writing for the better part of two hours now. As predicted, the plot is coming along nicely and I have already come up with some great dialogue. I don’t want to get too cocky, but I think that this is going to be the one. I can just feel it. If I keep this up, there is no way that it won’t be.

As a writer, I am constantly on the lookout for that big break. I am only ever one good piece of work away from writing something that sells. This is going to be it.

All I need is to keep the inspiration coming. That’s going to be the hardest part. What I need is to see Blake again.

I just can’t get last night out of my head. Even now, channeling my thoughts into words, my feelings are as strong as ever. I have never been so turned on before. I have never wanted someone more. I keep telling myself that I made the right choice by coming home instead of going to his. But now, I’m not so sure. What if I never hear from him again?

Divine intervention is a real thing. And if I need any proof, the fact my phone has just started to ring as I am having these thoughts should be all the proof that I need.

Snapping myself back into reality and the moment, I look across to my phone, smiling to myself when I see that it is none other than Blake calling me.

I reach out to pick up the phone, but stop at the last second. The phone has only rung the one time, and I let it ring out a couple more times before finally answering. I want to make him think I am busy, and that he has put me out by calling. I don’t want him to know that I have been thinking about him all night and day.

“Hello?” I say casually as I answer the phone.

“Apparently there are rules that say not to call the next day, but I decided to break them. Just this once,” he says, speaking into the other end of the phone. His voice carries that same effortless charm, and even as he speaks, I feel the need to keep typing. He is a fuel for my inspiration.

“I’m sorry, but who is this?” I reply, trying my best to sound like I mean it. I’m not usually this playful, but he brings it out in me.

“Oh, sorry. It’s the plumber. I’m calling about that busted pipe that you wanted me to fix. I wanted to know what time I can come over and service it.”

“Oh, that pipe?” I say with fake realization. “You know what? It no longer needs servicing. Yeah, I thought it did, but I checked it out when I got home last night, and it is actually in perfect working order. Sorry to get your hopes up.”

“I think you mistake me. My hopes weren’t up. It was you I was doing it for.”

“Is that right?” I smirk, leaning back in my chair as I do. I’m glad that he is on the phone and not here in person because I wear the biggest, goofiest smile on my face. I’d hate for him to see it and know what effect he has on me.

“That’s right. So, if you want me to come over and double check that for you, now is that time. Otherwise, you might find me very hard to book in again.”

“Oh no,” I gasp. “I guess I better make that booking. I’d hate to ruin any chance I had of requiring your services again.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Through the whole charade, he hasn’t broken character and has kept that same cool arrogance that he wears. If it wasn’t for how teasing I am being, I might have held it against him.

“So, Mr. Plumber. Now that we have that figured out, what can I do for you?”

As I speak, I lean across to my laptop and type out snippets of the conversation we are having. Some of it is too good to waste.

“In all seriousness,” he says. “I want to see you again. I had a good time last night, believe it or not.”

“How generous of you,” I say.

“I can be. I’m going to assume that you had an okay time last night, too. If just okay. “

“Maybe,” I say, biting my lip. I am going to go out with him, of that I am sure. But still, I have to play with him just a little more.

“What if I told you I had a proposition for you? Something I can’t ask over the phone.”

“Really?” I ask, sitting up. I’m curious now, despite how coy I am acting. What could he possibly want to ask me?

“Really, really. I promise that it will be worth your while.”

“Well, if that’s the case, I guess there’s no way I can say no,” I relent. “Where and when?”

“Tomorrow night. I’ll text you the time and place.” He says in his usual, short manner. It’s odd, but I felt almost like a client in the way he asks me. As if it’s a business dinner, rather than a date. What could he possibly want?

“Deal,” I say, and I hang up the phone the moment I do.

I know that if I stay on the line any longer, I might say something I regret. And besides, I could feel the power slowly going in his favor, and I wanted to realign it in my direction.

As I put down the phone, waiting for his text to come through, my heart beats faster and faster and my mind races. Despite myself, I am incredibly excited to see him again. I just hope that I am able to exercise the same level of self-control that I had last night. But having said that, I’m not ruling out anything.

Chapter 9

BLAKE

I can’t believe how beautiful she looks. I have spent the last two days trying my best to picture her in my mind, and I was certain that I had a pretty good image there. But seeing her now, in the flesh, I have to contend with the fact that I wasn’t even close.

I asked Carrie to meet me in the lobby of the Ritz hotel. It’s an expensive hotel in downtown L.A., and I asked her there for a reason. Since she said no to coming back to my house two nights ago, I’ve been going over the night in my head. Over and over. I am convinced that my error was assuming that she would be comfortable in a stranger’s house. I know how some women are, and I shouldn’t have assumed she would be comfortable coming home with me.

So now, in the Ritz, with a room booked upstairs, I am sure that I will be able to convince her to spend the night. The hotel is like a safe zone, where she won’t feel threatened or uncomfortable.

I stand in the back of the lobby, watching her wait for me, and I am forced to reevaluate everything that I thought I knew. She is just so damn gorgeous. She wears a tight strapless red dress that hugs her body and flows down to and covers her ankles.

Although she isn’t curvy, she is exceptionally fit, and I can see the muscles in her legs and ass from where I stand. And even though she doesn’t have huge breasts, they are round and look like they would fit perfectly in my hands. She is perfect. More than enough woman for me.

I have to shake my head and cut those thoughts from my mind as I feel my pants tighten. I need to control myself. I need to think clearly if I’m going to have her. Thinking with my cock isn’t going to get my anywhere.

Taking a deep breath, I walk up to her slowly.

“Carrie,” I say as she spots me. “Would it be too much to tell you how breathtaking you look tonight?”

“Usually, I would say yes,” she says with a smile. “But considering how good I look tonight, I’ll let it slide.”

As she says this, I can see her cheeks turning slightly red. She may talk a big game, but she is nervous.

“Shall we,” I say, as I gesture to the restaurant across the lobby. Even though it’s a hotel restaurant, the Ritz features a very fancy and very highly recommended restaurant.

“After you,” she says with a smile.

I lead her through the lobby to the restaurant, where the hostess does the rest. She seats us, and I ask for their most expensive bottle of red wine. She nods her head and shuffles off, leaving the two of us alone.

“Nice place,” Carrie says as she looks around the restaurant. I can see from the expression on her face that she is quietly impressed. Like I said, it’s a very nice establishment.

“Wait until you try the food,” I respond. “I won’t be surprised if you want to order a second meal.”

“Will that be a problem?”

“Not at all. Just so long as you let me try it.”

“I don’t think so,” she says with a chuckle. “You’re going to have to order your own. I don’t share.”

“Even if I ask nicely? I can be quite persuasive, if given the chance.”

She laughs at this, but her cheeks redden at the implication. Carrie likes to pretend she’s immune to my charm, but her face betrays her.

“Yeah,” she says. “We’ll see about that. I’m not convinced just yet. But maybe if I’m in a generous mood, I will see it in my heart to let you try some.”

“Well, I can always bribe you,” I say. “If that’s what it takes.”

“By all means,” she says, smiling. “I could use the cash.”

“Who said it was going to be money that I bribed you with?” I say, changing my tone to a serious one.

“Oh?” She responds, pretending to be affronted by my change in pace. “Is this why you asked me here? I have to admit, I’ve been curious about what it is you’re going to propose. You might say you’ve been in my thoughts all day.”

“I like to hear that,” I say, unable to hide my smile. As before, the two of us have instant fire. It is a wonder that we don’t get burned. “But I suppose you want to hear what it is I invited you here for?”

“So much,” she responds, smirking slightly as she does.

“Well, I was going to wait until after dinner, but here it goes. As you know, it was my high-school reunion the other night. There, I was subjected to seeing all my old friends again, and although I feel like I’ve outperformed them in certain aspects of my life, my career for example, there is one thing they have I am missing out on.”

“That was?” She asks, leaning forward. She looks a little confused.

“A family,” I say. “Children to be more specific. Despite everything I have done, everything I have accomplished, I don’t have any children. I have been thinking about this for a while, and after that night at my old school, it confirmed that I do want children. I can’t stop thinking about it. I think it’s about more than just having a kid, too, but having someone to pass on my legacy to. Someone to help grow and see grow. There is something so pure about it, so real. I make movies, but they won’t last. A child will. You see what I mean?”

“Okay,” she says uncertainly, looking at me like she doesn’t understand. “And where do I come in?”

“Don’t freak out, but I’ve been thinking. Well, I’m just going to come out and say it. Carrie, I’d like you to have my baby.”

Chapter 10

CARRIE

“Excuse me?” I say, unable to hide the surprise on my face.

Any game that I have been playing, any attempt to try to assert my dominance has been immediately blown out the window. I have never been so caught off guard.

“Hear me out, Carrie” he hurries, taking my hand. I let him, barely even noticing. I am still in shock. “I am willing to pay you, of course. A rather large sum. And I’m also willing to do anything that is needed to make the process as easy and comfortable as possible for you.”

“Oh, how generous,” I say quietly, still having trouble processing all of this. I’m not even sure if I’m being sarcastic. It’s like a semi-trailer to the face as I work to take in his proposal.

“Look, I may have come off a bit over the top there. I just didn’t know how to say it.”

My face must be betraying my feelings. Blake is clearly aware that he has come on strong. Although, it’s not like there’s a subtle way to tell someone you want to get them pregnant.

“I know that I want a family,” he says. “Not a wife or anything, but a child of my own. And I felt something between us the other night. A spark. And even tonight I’ve felt it. Tell me you haven’t, too?”

I have felt it. Of course, I have. From the moment we met, I’ve felt that spark, and tonight, as soon as I saw him, I could feel that same wave of unbridled enthusiasm hit me. I am able to be myself around Blake like no other man before him. But still. Does that mean I am ready to have his baby?

“I don’t know, Blake,” I say hesitantly. “It’s just that I don’t know you. And yes, I’ve felt the spark, too.” I hurry as I see him about to speak. “But don’t we need more than that?”

“How come?” He responds seriously. “I’m not asking you to marry me. Or even date me. I’m asking you to carry my baby. And like I said, I will look after you during the entire process and make sure that you are paid enough that you never want for money again. I want it to be as comfortable and as little of an inconvenience as possible for you.”

“Such a gentleman,” I say scathingly, not even on purpose. It is just the way he is asking me that makes me feel like a vessel, rather than a person. Sure, he says that he chose me because of the connection between us. But is that the only reason? Or am I just sex to him?

“Don’t get upset,” he says, and I suddenly become aware of the fact that he is still holding my hand. “I mean, it’s not like that. I like you, Carrie, I do. And I will prove that to you every day that you go through this. We will do it together, every step of the way. I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t think that you were the perfect woman for it.”

“And after the baby is born? What then?”

“You will still be involved as much as you like,” he says, then he pauses with a frown.

“Only I won’t be the mother,” I say, catching on quickly. “You’ll let me see my baby, but I won’t live with you or have any say in its upbringing.”

“Of course, you will,” he hurries. “But not to the same degree that you would usually. You would still be the child’s mother, but I would be the father. The baby will live with me and be raised by me. But you will be able to visit whenever you want, and I will still ask you for advice.” He finishes. “So? What do you think?”

“I think I need to go to the bathroom.”

I pull my hand from his and hurry to the bathroom. I don’t even notice the other people in the restaurant as I walk past them. I have tunnel vision, and I head for the bathroom like a woman on a mission.

I just need some fresh air. Or, unable to get that, some space away from Blake to think clearly. It is all so much and totally unexpected. I never, in my wildest imagination, thought that this is what he is going to ask. It is crazy.

I stumble into the bathroom and head straight for the sink. The moment I reach it, I turn on the faucet and let the cold water run into the sink. I run my hand through it, relishing its cool feel. Only once I can see straight again do I splash the water on my face, cooling myself down.

I stare at myself in the mirror and looked back at my reflection. As I do, the idea very slowly starts to grow on me. Well, not the idea itself, but the outcome of it. The money. I hate that I’m in a position where the need for money can dictate my life. But I am, and there’s no way around that.

Nine months. If I give him nine months, it could totally transform my life for the better. I hate where I live. I hate my job. I hate that I don’t have enough time to write. This offer could change all that. This offer could change me.

I stare at myself for a few more moments, letting the offer slowly take hold. As I feel myself cooling down, I begin to see the merits. And a few minutes more of staring is enough to convince me.

I’m going to do it.

But I am still not sure. The only reason that I am even considering it is because it’s Blake who asked. If it were anyone else, I would tell them to take a hike. But it’s Blake. It’s someone who I was honestly already picturing myself with, before this offer arose. It is because of that and that alone that the situation isn’t as cut and dry as it might seem.

I walk back to the table in a much better state than I left it. My back is straight, and I’m in control. As I slide back into my chair, I am delighted to see that my glass is full of red wine.

I pick up the glass and take a long sip, relishing in the way that I am making Blake sweat. He watches me the whole time, and only when I am done and wipe my lips, do I speak.

“I need a few days to think about it,” I say simply.

“Of course,” he says, “I wouldn’t expect you to say yes to something so big right away. I want you to take this seriously.”

“But that’s not a no,” I assure him. “It’s a maybe. I just can’t make this kind of decision on a whim. You understand?”

“I do,” he relents, evidently seeing the logic in my reason. “So, I won’t put any more pressure on you, okay? In fact, I won’t mention it again for the rest of the night. How does that sound?”

“That sounds perfect. What you can do is convince me, quietly, that it’s a good idea. You know, through your actions as a gentleman and all that.”

“Who says I’m a gentleman?” He quips, that sly smile returning.

“Careful,” I respond, unable to hide my smirk.

“Right, a gentleman,” he says, coughing dramatically as he pretends to clear his throat. “So, are you ready to order?”

“Maybe,” I say as I look down at the menu. “What’s good here?”

Chapter 11

BLAKE

The two of us have just finished eating dessert. We shared a slice of chocolate cake. The cake was Carrie’s decision, and as she ordered it, I got the sense that it was a favorite of hers. I made a mental note to always have chocolate cake in the house.

She eats the final slice and sucks the cake off the spoon. The whole time, she watches me with those eyes. She knows what she is doing to me through her actions, and I can tell it gives her great pleasure. But I’m okay with it. All I can think about is what I am going to do to her later.

I have managed to avoid talking about my proposal, too, just as I had promised. And the crazy part is, it isn’t even that hard. As soon as I told her that I would no longer mention it, I didn’t. As simple as that. And by the time we ordered our food and it came out to us, the proposal was all but forgotten.

It’s a testament to how perfect we are for one another and to how well we get along. That’s why I have chosen her to be the surrogate, assuming she says yes. Not only do I think that she will make a perfect second half, I also see her as someone I won’t mind spending the next nine months around. Not to mention what happens after we have the child.

But I can’t think on that now. I watch her slowly swallow the cake, her eyes still on me, and I calculate what I have to do and say to get her up to my room. Because tonight, I am having her, much the same way she just had that cake.

“So, I told you that the food here was good,” I say as I lean back in my chair.

“And I’m very impressed. I should never have doubted you really. Is that where you disappeared to for a few minutes earlier? You were in the kitchen cooking my meal? You really are so talented.” She pats her plump lips with a napkin.

“Not tonight, no. But would you believe me if I told you I taught the chef everything she knows?”

“I wouldn’t,” she says instantly. “Although I have doubted you before, and that hasn’t worked out for me in the past. So maybe I should be inclined. And if that’s the case, then again, very well done.”

“If you think the food was good, you should see the rooms here,” I say. It is a risk, and there is a chance that she will be put off by the forwardness of my statement. But I have to take it. I have to have her.

“Is that right?” She replies with a knowing smile.

“Some say that they are even better than the food.”

“Well, if that’s the case,” she begins, pausing as she watches my face with anticipation. “You’re going to have to show me.”

I want to let out a sigh of relief, but I don’t want her to win the upper hand. I have to work even harder to not let her see how pleased I am, either. Although, I am most certainly that. Most of all, I have to work to make it appear that it is all part of my plan and that I didn’t expect any answer but the one that she gave.

“Good,” I say with a nod and a wink. “Shall we?”

I stand and hold my hand out for her to take. She takes it, gently placing her fingers in my grip. As she does, I lead her around the table and through the restaurant. A moment later, I walk her to the elevator, and a moment after that, we are on it. As it takes us up to the room, we both watch the doors in silence, and as the doors open, we both step out.

I take her hand again, directing her down the hallway to the room. As we walk, my heart beats against my chest, and I have to work to contain myself. I want to throw her up against the wall and have my way with her right now. But I don’t. Instead, I open the door to the room and direct her inside.

“Nice, you weren’t lying,” she says as she enters, looking around the room with awe.

“Have I ever?” I respond.

I want to use the moment to bring up my proposal from earlier but decide against it. There is no need to push. If anything, my actions now will speak louder than my words ever can.

The moment I close the door behind myself, I walk up behind Carrie. It is just like I imagined two nights ago. I stand behind her and kiss her on the neck. She tilts her head, letting out a soft moan of pleasure as she allows me to continue.

As I do, my hands find her waist, wrapping themselves around her and pulling her in closer. My cock is rock hard, and I wedge it against her ass, letting her feel it. She pushes herself up against it, and I can sense that she likes what I have to offer.

Without further hesitation, I spin her around so she is facing me. I lean in and kiss her, and she returns it. It’s even more passionate than the one from a few nights ago, and I swear that our lips are going to catch on fire. She uses the perfect amount of tongue.

My hands are still on her waist, and I begin to move them up. I want to cup her breasts. I want to feel them.

A vibration in my pocket stops what I am doing. Fuck. I grimace as Carrie pulls away.

“You can answer it,” she says with a smile. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’ll be right back,” I say, reaching into my pocket and pulling it out. I sigh when I see who is calling me. Ben. Arguably, my only real friend. If it were anyone else, I would let it ring. But it’s not, and so I answer it.

“What?” I ask, a little too short.

“Blake, thank God,” he says. He’s out of breath. It sounds like he’s just run a marathon. “Are you free?”

I look back to Carrie before answering. “Yes,” I say. He sounds worried. I’ve never heard his voice like this, and it actually has me worried now too. “Are you okay? Is everything all right?”

“It’s Simon. He had a fall.”

“Is he okay?” I ask instantly.

“He is. Well, he should be, but I need get him to a hospital. Janet is working remotely tonight and I can’t reach her.”

Simon is Ben’s youngest son, and someone I care for deeply. Simon even calls me Uncle Blake, and the moment that Ben says that he needs to get to the hospital, I feel my stomach drop.

“Can you come over and stay with Tommy? He’s sleeping and getting over one of those bad childhood colds. I can’t take him with us, nor can I have him wake up and find us gone. Can you please come to the house and watch over Tommy for me? Please. I wouldn’t usually ask, but it’s an emergency.”

“No, of course, I will. I’m glad you called. I’ll be there as quick as I can.”

I hang up the phone. Carrie is standing right behind me, watching me. She looks concerned rather than angry, and I am grateful for that.

“Is everything okay?” She asks, worry etched in her voice.

“It’s my friend. I have to go to his place and look after his son while he takes his other son to the hospital. He needs me there.”

I want to explain more, but I can’t, not right now.

“Of course,” she says sympathetically. “Do you want me to come?”

“No, it’s fine. And Carrie. I’m sorry.”

And I am, too. Not just for having to leave her high and dry, but for me. I wish that this didn’t happen, not now. But it had happened, and all I can do is hope that she forgives me.

Chapter 12

CARRIE

As I drive home, I can’t stop think about what just happened. Really, I should be upset by the whole thing. Blake invited me out to dinner, asked me to come upstairs and then ditched me the moment that we were up there. And not even. He ditched me the moment things began to heat up. And yet, I can’t be mad at him. No way.

In fact, I am impressed. The fact that Blake is willing to leave me for the son of his friend. The fact that he is willing to anger me, after asking such a big favor of me and wanting to stay on my good side. It’s so amazing. It’s so selfless.

He told me what was going on as he walked me to my car, and now, as I slowly steer my car to my crappy little studio apartment, I can’t help but see him in a whole new light. If he cares that much for the son of a friend, I can only imagine how much he will care for his own child.

Our child, if I agree. It definitely casts a new light on the events of the night.

In traffic, my eyes flash around the car, anything to take my mind off the boring drive. As I look around, I spot my cell phone, and the moment that I see it, I think of calling Blake. Just a quick call. Just to make sure that he is okay.

Without hesitation, I dial the number, and it’s only as it rings that I think whether it is such a good idea. Will I look desperate? Will I look needy? Maybe I should wait until tomorrow.

“Hello? Carrie?” He speaks into the other end of the line.

“Oh, hi,” I say, surprised, even though I’m the one who called him.

“Hey, everything all right?” he says, sounding worried for a moment.

“I just wanted to call to see how your friend’s son is,” I say. “Is he okay? Is everything, you know, all right?”

“Yeah, he’s fine,” he says, letting out an exasperated sigh. “He’ll be fine, anyway. My friend went into father mode and panicked just a little, but it’s going to be okay.”

“Great!” I exclaim a little too loudly.

“Hey, Carrie, thanks for calling. Seriously.” He sounds as serious as his words imply. “It means a lot.”

***

As I walk through the front door to my little hovel, I again feel that same sense of isolation and loneliness that I did the last time I left a date with Blake. Only this time, I feel even worse. I was so certain I was going to sleep with him. In fact, I meant to. I went to that date not expecting to come home tonight. And yet, here I am.

I just can’t stop thinking about Blake. Everything about him. His offer is the first thing that comes to mind as I walk into my bedroom and begin to undress. It is an odd offer, and totally out of left field, and yet, the more I get to know Blake, the more I think that it’s not such a bad idea.

The way he acted tonight with his best friend’s son. It shows that he’s not doing this on a whim, but that he actually cares.

I strip off my dress, dropping it to the floor. Underneath it, I wear a lace thong and no bra. I don’t need a bra. My breasts have managed to defy gravity for longer than they should, and as I catch sight of them in the mirror, I can’t help but wonder what Blake would think of them. I’m sure he would love them.

With thoughts of Blake, I reach my hand up and pinch my nipple. It stings, but it also sends a shiver down my spine and through my legs. I pinch my other nipple harder, and I relish in the sensation.

Almost subconsciously, I slowly lower my hand between my legs. I begin to stroke the outside, above the thong. Softly at first and then harder. The whole time, I think of Blake and what I would be doing to him right now, were it not for that call.

I’m about to push my panties to the side when I suddenly remember my new little gift to myself sitting in my dresser. I hurry across and open the top drawer, revealing a long, purple vibrator. I turn it on, clenching it in my hand. The vibrations send a pulse up my body, and my folds begin to moisten.

I lie back on my bed, peeling my thong off at the same time. With the vibrator on, I run it down my navel, over my pelvis, and down my thighs. It sends pulses through my body directly into my center. I imagine that it’s Blake doing it. That he’s kissing my body. Every inch of it. Each kiss getting closer and closer to my need.

With that thought in mind, I press the humming vibrator against my folds, pushing it onto my clit. The sensation is unreal, and I bite down on my lip to stop myself from screaming. I hold the vibrator against my clit for longer, allowing it to grow and engorge. As it does, I feel myself moisten even more. I want Blake inside me.

I squeeze his thick cock in my hand and stifle a moan. His cock is pulsing, his desire to get inside of me not hidden by anything. I brush my lips against his stiff cock again, teasing it, waiting for him to beg.

“I want to be inside of you, Carrie,” he growls in the recess of my mind.

“I want that too,” I spread my legs just a little more, slipping the vibrator inside me. It slides along my entrance, dripping in thick lubrication. I’m naughty for him. Only for him.

I press the vibrator into my tight entrance and groan, letting the image of him fucking me take over. He rams all of himself into me, forcing me to open for him, to bow down to whatever he wants from me.

My legs shake as he gives me a wicked grin and bids me to come hard and fast. He’s in control. Not me.

I can feel the heat working its way up my legs as he fucks me so good, not caring about anything but my pleasure. The heat of my building orgasm reaches my belly, threatening to explode from the inside out. I scream for him to come, and as I scream for it, I make it happen. I come, all over my vibrator, all over Blake’s cock. It’s sensational, and I never want it to end.

But more than that, I want it to be the real thing. I want it to be Blake. Soon. It has to happen soon.

Chapter 13

BLAKE

It’s early morning, and I’ve been up most of the night, sitting by Tommy’s side. I tried to get some sleep, but it was that horrible sleep, where you are awake more often than not, tossing and turning in a chair. Needless to say, I’m a little groggy.

But I don’t mind. I would do it all again. I’m just glad that Simon is okay, and as I leave Ben’s home and the morning sun hits my face, I relish the chance to head home and take a nap.

“Thanks again,” Ben says to me as he walks me to my car. “Seriously. Simon will be okay. A small concussion, nothing he can’t handle. Should be up and running again in no time.”

“It’s okay, really,” I respond as I climb in my car. “You would do the same for me.”

“And I hope that one day, I get the chance,” he says back.

I know what he means. He wants me to have a child of my own almost as much as I want a child. He’s my biggest champion and thinks that I would make a great father. I hope that soon, I will be able to prove him right.

***

I wake up to the sight of the setting sun. It’s disorientating, and it takes me a while to collect myself and remember what happened the night before. But as I sit up, it all slowly comes back to me.

I’m in my own bed, back home. As soon as I got back from Ben’s place, I took a much-needed nap. That nap evidently turned into full-on sleep. The setting sun indicates that I have been out for at least seven hours.

Still a little out of it, I reach across my bed and pick up my cell phone. I dial Ben’s number, wanting to see how he and Simon are doing.

“Hey bud, how are you feeling?” Ben asks the moment he answers.

“I’m fine,” I say dismissively. “How’s Simon, though? He’s the one who was in hospital. Not me.”

“Oh, he’s fine. Janet’s with him now,” Ben sounds happy, and I’m glad that his son is okay. “Say, what are you doing?”

“Nothing,” I say. “Passing time until it’s dark enough for me to go back to bed.” I am still tired and knew that the moment I am able, I would be back in bed.

“Feel like getting a drink? It’s on me.”

“Now how can I pass that up,” I say with a chuckle.

***

The bar that I meet Ben at is about as close to a neighborhood bar as Ben or I have. He lives about twenty minutes away from me, so the bar is as close to halfway between our houses as we could find. We always meet here when he can pull himself away from the family.

“You look awful,” he jokes as I pull up a seat at the table. He got here before me and, in true Ben fashion, has already ordered my drink. I pick it up and take a long, deep sip, savoring the taste.

“Thanks. I didn’t have time to do my hair unfortunately.”

“Well, in the future, can you make the time? I’m the one who has to look at you.” He chuckles to himself as he joins me in the drink. “Now tell me, Blake, what or rather who was it that I pulled you away from last night? I know it was something.”

“Oh,” I begin, suddenly realizing that I really don’t want to talk about Carrie. And it’s not because I don’t care about her, but the exact opposite. I don’t want Ben, or anybody else, judging her. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Damn, she’s that serious?” He asks, nodding his head to himself as he does, as if he already knows the answers.

“What? No. I mean, who said it was a girl I was with?”

“Well, you just did. Plus, how long have I known you? Where else would you be?”

“At work? Meetings? Clients? I could have been doing lots of things.” As I speak, I notice the look on Ben’s face. He isn’t having any of it. “Okay, fine. I was on a date. You happy?”

“Always,” he beams to himself. “But it has nothing to do with you. Now tell me, who is she?”

“Just a girl,” I begin, as I try my best to act nonchalant. “Her name’s Carrie. We met at my high-school reunion. She was a waitress there. We’ve been on a couple of dates. So, it’s no big deal. Last night was our second, and truth be told, it was actually pretty good and…” I trail off as I become aware of how much I am talking. The whole time, Ben watches me, nodding while wearing a very obvious smirk.

“Sounds like you’re in love,” he jokes, taking another sip of his drink.

“What?” I say, a little too quickly. “Not possible. Not by a long shot.”

Although I say the words, I don’t believe them. Not fully anyway. Although I don’t want to say the L word, there is definitely something between Carrie and me that defies explanation. There’s more there than just a fling.

“Okay, whatever you want to say,” he continues, still wearing that same smug look. “Just know that I’m your best friend, and I’ve never heard you say more than two words about a girl. Ever.”

“Whatever,” I say as I shake my head.

But as I take another sip, watching Ben out of the corner of my eye, I can’t help but hate how much he knows me. And worse than that, I can’t help but hate how on the money he is.

Despite what I tell myself, I’d be lying if I don’t admit that I have feelings for Carrie. Ones that I can’t explain, no matter how hard I try.

Chapter 14

CARRIE

I’m sitting at my laptop, staring at the screen in shock, my mouth hanging open. I look at the page several times, and each time that I do, I become more and more convinced that what I am seeing isn’t true. It can’t be? And yet, there is no way that it isn’t.

I woke up with thoughts of Lyndsey. Even though I wasn’t adopted into her family until I was eight, she always did her best to make me feel like I belonged. For that, I was forever grateful and could never thank her enough.

So, as I lay in bed, I decided to do something that I hadn’t done since she had died. I was going to delete her Facebook page. Her parents, well, my adoptive parents, asked me to handle the technical side of things concerning Lyndsey’s death and I readily agreed. Closing her Facebook account may seem like a small thing, but to me, it is a huge deal. It’s an admission that she is gone. Forever.

I hadn’t so much as touched it since she passed as she hardly used it, and now, it is like I am erasing her. But it has to be done. For closure, if nothing else.

But before I deleted it, I decided to go through her old photos, and that was when I saw him. Photos of Blake, a much younger Blake, plastered throughout an album of her high school memories before Facebook. As I devoured each photo, I very slowly began to realize who Blake is.

He is Lyndsey’s ex-boyfriend. The two dated in high school and broke up just before college. I never met the guy, but I knew of him. One thing in particular, I remember it like it was yesterday. Lyndsey came to me in tears. She told me that she had gotten pregnant by Blake. But that wasn’t why she was crying. She was crying because she said that he dumped her once she told him she was pregnant. She then had a miscarriage and to cope with the sadness she started drinking and doing drugs, which spiraled out of control over time. Her twenties were spent in and out of rehab. My sister had only just got her life back on track when she died.

I sit at my laptop, still staring at her Facebook page. I can’t believe that it is him. I should have known that he knew Lyndsey, as the two went to the same high school and were in the same year, but I never made the connection.

And now, he wants me to have his baby. The irony isn’t lost on me one little bit.

What is odd is how torn I am by the whole thing. On the one hand, a part of me has hated this man since that day Lyndsey came to me. I used to lie awake and plot what I would do if I ever came across him in real life. The revenge I would seek. But now, I don’t know what to do. I like him. I do. But do I like him enough?

Sure, he’s handsome and sweet, but he hurt my sister. He broke her apart, and from that, she never recovered. Despite my feelings for the guy, I just don’t know if I can go through with what he wants.

I seethe as more and more memories come back to me. That day in particular, as my sister wept on the floor of my bedroom. Lost in the moment, I come up with a plan, a delightfully devilish one that my sister would be proud of.

I am going to have his baby. And I will take his money. But when I do, I will also take the baby with me. I will disappear off the map and raise the baby as my own, in honor of Lyndsey. Yes, that’s all I can do. It’s what I have to do.

The moment the plan settles in, I pick up my phone and text Blake, “I’ll do it.” I know that if I don’t, I will chicken out. The text goes through, and I stare at my phone, wondering if I have done the right thing. Yes, I have.

It’s as I stare at my phone that it suddenly vibrates in my hand. It’s Blake calling me. I consider not answering. I don’t know if I can speak to him right now. But cooler heads prevail and I do.

“Hello,” I say.

“Do you mean it?” He asks on the other end of the line.

“I do,” I say.

Despite myself, I can’t help but smile.

“Amazing!” he says. “I’m looking forward to making a baby with you.”

“Oh yeah?” I say coyly. “Make? I thought we were going to do an insemination type thing?”

“We could do that, I suppose,” he says, sounding as if he is thinking on it. “But where is the fun in that?”

“I didn’t know this was for fun,” I say. As I do, I stand and walk over to my bed, sitting on the end of it.

“It isn’t, but why not have some anyway? It will be worth your while, I promise.”

“Oh, yeah,” I breath down the line, making my voice nice and throaty. “How worth it?”

“I wish I didn’t have to leave the other night. Then I would have shown you. But let’s just say that you’re going to be getting more than you bargained for. A whole lot more.”

I don’t know how it has happened, but I suddenly find myself becoming very hot. Intolerably hot. And not from the weather, but the words being spoken by Blake. His voice is deep and sexual, and his words are even more so.

I imagine him on the other end, playing with himself, and it sends a pulse of electricity up my spine. Sure, I plan on ruining him, but why not have some fun in the meantime? Just like he said.

“Tell me more,” I breathe again. “Will I be able to handle it?”

“Oh, we’ll make it work. One inch at a time.” I can hear his breathing intensifying.

I moan. “How many inches. I’m not very big down there.”

“I am,” he says. “But don’t worry. I’ll slide all ten of them in, nice and slow. Right up to the base.”

“Ten?” I gasp, not even by accident. If he is telling the truth, then he is well-endowed. Just the thought of that makes me wet. I can feel it.

“That’s right,” he says, and I can almost hear him smiling. “Do you like big equipment?”

“I do.”

“What do you like to do with them?” He asks.

I pause as I contemplate what I am doing and if I should continue. I’ve never had phone sex before, and I wonder if now is the time. But I am alone in my room and incredibly turned on, so I figure why not.

“I like to grip it in my hand,” I say. “I like to stroke it up and down.”

“Keep going,” he says.

“I like to put it in my mouth and swirl my tongue around it until it’s nice and wet.”

“And then?”

“And then I like to sit on it. I like to feel it slide all the way up me. Fill me.”

“Tell me more, Carrie. You have my attention,” he chuckles down the line.

I want him. I want to be wherever he is and do the things I talk about, but for real. I can’t, since we’re not together right now. So instead, I settle for phone sex. I see it as a warm up to the main course, a course I can’t wait to eat.

“And once you are inside me,” I begin, lying on my back.

My hand moves down to my thighs. It’s about to be one hell of an afternoon.

Chapter 15

BLAKE

The spread in front of me looks delicious. It’s made up of sandwiches, pastries and, of course, mini chocolate cakes, Carrie’s favorite.

I check my watch, grimacing when I see that Carrie is late. It’s only a few minutes, but it disappointments me. That’s just the way I am, and more importantly, it’s why I am where I am today. I decide not to make a big deal of it though. Not today. Today, we have bigger things to discuss.

I can’t even describe how pleased I was the other day when Carrie texted me that she agreed to have my baby.

And if that wasn’t enough to make the day the best I had experienced in a long while, the phone sex we had after was something else. If she is half as dirty as she made herself out to be on the phone, then having this baby with Carrie is going to be one hell of a ride. And I mean that in the most literal sense.

It’s because of her decision to go through with my proposal that I am currently waiting for her. I’m in my office, located at my production company’s headquarters. I chose the spot for its formal setting and for what we have to do. She is coming over to hammer out the agreement and the legalities behind it. It’s a boring process, but one that has to be taken care of.

As I check my watch again, I reach forward and pluck a pastry off the table. I hired a catering service to bring some food over, deciding that they best drop off the food and leave before Carrie arrives.

I don’t know how those who work in catering feel about other caterers, and I want to avoid the awkwardness. Not to mention the fact that I want Carrie in the best mood possible. Today is everything.

I finish eating the pastry and am about to take another when my receptionist calls through to announce Carrie.

Carrie walks in. As always, she looks divine. Today, she wears a simple strapless blue dress that hugs her waist. It flares out at the bottom and stops short of her knees. The dress accentuates her firm legs, and her bosom sits tightly in it, too. If I were to guess, I would say she isn’t wearing a bra.

“Sorry, I’m late,” she puffs as she closes the door behind her. “I got lost.”

“That’s fine,” I say. “Something to eat?”

“Oh,” she says in a surprised tone as she spots the food. “No, I’m sorry. I ate earlier. Plus, if we’re going to do this.” She pats her stomach, as if implying that she needs to watch her weight.

“Please,” I say with a smirk. “I think you’re the last person who has to worry about that. Have you seen you lately?”

“Not in the last few hours.” She smirks back as she walks up to my desk. Reaching it, she leans against it so that she is facing me. “So, should we get started?”

“All business?” I say. “I like that. But okay, here goes. The first thing I want to ask about is STDs and birth control.”

“Wow,” she exclaims. “To the point.”

“Always,” I say seriously, maintaining eye contact. I’ve entered business mode, and I need her to know that now, I am in charge. Playtime is over.

I pull out a sheet from my doctor that confirms I have been tested for STDs and that I am clean. I hand it to Carrie, who looks over the sheet as she takes a seat.

She reads it over and then speaks. “Well, as far as birth control goes, I have been using condoms and foam as I haven’t been in a serious relationship for a while. No point in messing with hormones when you don’t have to. And as for STDs, here you are.”

She reaches into her handbag and pulls out a piece of paper.

I take the paper and look over it. Like mine, it’s from a doctor, indicating that she is free of any STDs. I hated having to ask her, but I’m careful like that.

“Next up is ovulation.”

“Saturday is when we will be able to start trying, I hope,” she says. “I’m not going to bore or confuse you with the finer details.” She smirks.

“Perfect!” I say, crumpling the notice and tossing it in the trash. “Now, what’s next?”

“The money,” she hurries.

I can tell that this is what has really been on her mind. I can’t blame her, as it’s the primary reason that she said yes in the first place.

“Oh, of course, the money,” I say, leaning back in my chair and whacking my forehead as if it had slipped my mind. “What was the agreed-upon amount again?”

“Two million dollars,” she says, licking her lips as she does.

“And you’re getting laid regularly,” I joke. “You’ve really hit the jackpot.”

“To be honest, it’s more money than I’ve ever seen, let alone had. I don’t know what I’ll do with it all.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll figure something out,” I say as I reach into my desk drawer. Opening it, I pull out a document that I had my lawyers draft. It’s a legal form in duplicate that stipulates payment of the funds once the baby is born.

I hand them over to Carrie to sign. Once she has them, she reads through the contract meticulously, more than I would have thought. In fact, as I watch her, I am certain that she reads it twice. And it is only when she is satisfied that she takes a pen and countersigns both copies.

“There,” she says smiling. “Done and done.”

“Perfect!” I exclaim, taking one of the signed forms and slipping it back into my desk drawer. “The other one is for your records. Now, have I told you how perfect you look today?”

“No,” she says, trying to hide her smile.

“Well, you do. More than that even.” I walk over to her and slip my hand around her waist, pulling her onto my lap. She lets me, falling onto it.

“But wait,” she says, still smiling. “I don’t start until Saturday.”

I frown. “You know what? I’m willing to get an early start on the whole thing if you are? Just in case.”

“Just in case,” she nods.

I smile as my hand strokes her back, slowly moving under her blouse and across her soft skin. Holding her stare the entire time, I sit myself up straighter, leaning forward. She copies, leaning down and kissing me on the lips. I can already feel the fire.

Chapter 16

CARRIE

Every time I kiss him my body shakes. His hand runs through my hair, guiding my face to his. As our lips meet, he holds it there. Not that he needs to. I could kiss him for hours.

Our lips lock, dancing back and forth in perfect rhythm. I have never felt so comfortable kissing someone before. I have never felt so sexually alive. His lips are moist and warm, while his tongue is soft. It pushes into my mouth, lapping at my own tongue. I lick it back, pretending to nibble at it.

As I do, his hand leaves the back of my head and grips my waist instead. In the spur of the moment, I lift up my left leg, kicking it over his head and down by his other side. I’m now straddling him.

He is wearing khaki pants, and I can already feel his bulge, pressing up against my lips. He told me he has ten inches for me. That’s bigger than anything I have ever taken before, and although I thought he might be exaggerating, now that I can feel him, I think he might have been playing down its size.

“I think I should leave,” I whisper in his ear. I then lick his ear and nibble on it. He groans.

“Then go,” he says, keeping his hands firmly on my waist.

I don’t make to move. I stay right where I am.

I begin to move my hips back and forth, grinding into him. His bulge, pulsating in his pants, pushes itself up against my lips. I can feel it stroking the outside of my clit. My body trembles every time I grind myself forward.

His hands move from my waist and to my back, where they find the clasp on my dress. He undoes it, and I slump my shoulders, allowing for my dress to fall open. My breasts are now right in his face, and he pounces. First, my left, and then my right. He bites down on both with just enough pressure that I squeal, but don’t scream.

“You like that?” He groans as he pulls his mouth from my heaving breasts.

In response, I grab the top of his head and push it back into my breasts. I want more.

As he continues to play with them, his hand moves down to my thighs. He pinches my thigh as his hand breezes past it. He then begins to stroke my panty line. My body shakes each time his finger goes near my pussy. I am so wet, and all I want is him inside me.

I am going to ask him to take me, but I stop myself. He has to do it on his own accord. I want him to want to. Luckily, I don’t wait long. He strokes the outside of my panty line and pushes it to the side, exposing my lips. His finger runs up the outside.

I shudder and grab him by the back of the head. He lets out a chuckle and then plunges his finger inside of me. I bite down on his neck as he penetrates me. I breathe into his ear. I let out a moan. His finger pushes itself inside of me, and I scream.

Someone knocks on the door.

We both freeze where we are. His finger is inside of me. My exposed breasts are in his face. We both look to the door, and then back at one another.

“Yes?” He calls out.

“Sir, it’s Marge. I have an urgent email that I forwarded you an hour ago. I really need you to read it.”

“Give me five minutes,” Blake yells through the door.

“Thank you so much, sir. That’s perfect!”

We remain frozen, and I hear the footsteps disappear down the hall. The moment they are gone, I slide off Blake’s lap. I am still hot and bothered, but I feel that the moment is all but gone.

“When can I see you again?” He asks.

I smile openly as I do up my dress.

“Saturday,” I assure him. “Like I said.” In truth, I don’t think that I can wait until Saturday. I’m more turned on than I have ever been, and I have to have him soon. I just might explode otherwise.

“I am not sure I can’t wait that long.” He stands up, taking my hand. The bulge in his pants is still there, demonstrating that he is telling the truth.

“Okay,” I say. “How about tomorrow night? Your house?”

“I can’t wait,” he says as I make my way to the door. We share a kiss as I step outside, and I make sure to close the door behind me.

As I walk to my car, I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pull it out, smiling to myself as I see who is calling. It’s Amy.

“What’s up?” I ask as I reach my car.

“What’s up with me? What’s up with you? You told me you were meeting Blake again today. How did it go? Tell me everything!”

“Yeah, it went pretty well. Nothing too exciting.”

I look over my shoulder, as if someone might be watching me. The lie is an obvious one, and even I don’t believe myself.

“Girl, you have got to be the worst liar. Just tell me! Something obviously happened. What was it? Sex? A blowjob? Oh, you definitely blew him didn’t you? You dirty little…”

“I didn’t blow him,” I hiss into the phone. As I do, I climb into the car and strap myself in. “But we did almost have sex. Like really close to it.”

“Amazing! Where are you now? What are you doing? I want to hear everything. Oh wait! Is that the time? Shit! Look, I have a client. What are you doing later?”

“Nothing.” I chuckle as I shake my head at my friend’s eccentric nature.

“Okay, I’ll call you. I want to hear everything.” She hangs up the phone, leaving it beeping in my ear.

I shake my head again as I start up the car. As I do, I notice that my hand is still shaking. In fact, my entire body is. That moment with Blake has left me a wreck. I need to get home as soon as possible and take care of this aftershock. If I don’t, then I truly will explode.

Chapter 17

BLAKE

I know that Carrie isn’t too fond of her apartment, and as I pull up out the front of it, I can kind of see why now that I see it in the fading daylight. It’s not that it’s a terrible place or anything like that. It’s more that there is nothing inherently great about it.

First of all, it’s tiny. I can see that from the outside. And as I walk to her front door, I instantly spot the dirt and grime lacing the walls. I guess it to be pretty old and has most likely passed through a dozen hands by now.

My main concern isn’t so much for Carrie’s living conditions, but for those of my soon-to-be unborn child. I can’t have it being born in a place like this. I don’t even want it in a place like this while it’s in the womb. This worry is further compounded as I knock on Carrie’s front door, and a piece of the drywall crumbles and falls to the ground.

“Coming,” I hear her call as she rushes around the apartment.

It sounds like a damn hurricane inside as she runs back and forth.

I remain where I am, rocking back and forth on my heels as the sound inside slowly dies down. The lock unclicks, and the door flies open, almost off its hinges.

“Hey,” Carrie says, as soon as the door is open.

She looks a little flustered, like she’s just run a sprint. Actually, as I step into the apartment and see the attempted clean-up job that she has done, I figure that she is more akin to having just run a marathon.

“Quaint,” I say as I look over the apartment.

It’s not a messy place, or at least, not anymore. It’s a studio apartment. I guess the entire mess to have been shoved into a corner somewhere where I can’t see it.

“Shall we go?” She asks, still sounding flustered as she picks up a small bag.

The way she tries to push me out the door, I’m sure that she doesn’t want me seeing any more of that apartment than I have to.

“Is that all you’re taking?” I ask.

“Yeah,” she says, still trying to lead me out of the building.

“Listen, I’ve been thinking,” I say as I turn back on her, halting our exit. “I don’t think that one night will be enough. In fact, I would be shocked if it were. While you are ovulating, I think it would be best if you stay at my place.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that we’re going to have to fuck a lot, and I think you should stay at my house permanently until you have conceived. What do you think?”

As I ask I notice her trying her hardest not to smile. She is really fighting against it. “Sure, I’d like that,” she finally says. “I’ll just grab some more stuff. I’ll be quick, okay?”

She hurries away, throwing her overnight bag onto her bed as she begins to grab more clothes from her closet. As she does this, I remain where I am, looking around the apartment. The inside is exactly as I thought it would be. It only confirms what I know to be true, that my baby can’t be born within these walls.

That’s the biggest reason for asking her to stay with me. Sure, I would like her to be around while her fertility window is open so there is more of a chance of conception. But if this all goes well, I imagine that I will be asking her to stay while she is with child. But that’s a conversation for a later date.

“Finished,” she exclaims, catching me off guard. I’m still looking around the apartment as she sidles up to me, bulging suitcase in her hand.

“Let me.” I take the suitcase from her hand and lead her out the front door to my car.

“I always forget how nice this car is,” she says as she climbs in the passenger seat. “Like seriously, I think it costs more than my apartment.”

“It better,” I quip as I jump in the driver’s seat and start up the engine. “Otherwise, I need to get a better one.”

“Hey,” she exclaims jokingly as she whacks my arm. “My place isn’t that bad, is it?”

“I’m kidding,” I say, pulling the Aston Martin onto the main road. “But still, I am happy that you agreed to come and stay with me.”

“Yeah, me too,” she says, giving me a warm smile. As she does, she reaches out and squeezes my arm.

It feels good, and for a moment there, I almost forget to keep my eyes on the road as I return the smile.

“So, tell me about your day. What have you been doing?”

“Do you really care?”

“What? Of course, I do. Listen, Carrie, I don’t want you to think that I’m only using you for this baby thing. I still like you. A lot actually. Even if we weren’t doing this, I imagine we would be in a pretty similar position to now. Only without a signed contract.”

“Oh, you don’t usually make your girlfriends sign lawyer-drafted documents?” She quips, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Not the ones I like,” I shoot back.

She offers me a warm smile again. “Okay, let’s see then. Today, I worked on my book actually.”

“Really? That’s interesting. What’s it about? Or is that a secret?”

“It’s not a secret. It’s a romance novel, and that’s all you’re getting out of me.” She smiles slyly.

“Okay, I’ll take that for now. But I guarantee that you’ll tell me more, soon. In fact, I predict that you will be begging to tell me more.”

“Do you think so?”

“Oh, I know so,” I shoot back, returning her smile.

As I do, I reach out with my hand and take hers in mine. I give it a squeeze, and she returns the squeeze with enthusiasm. I can’t help but feel that however this whole thing turns out, I’ve made the right choice in Carrie. There is something about her that I find impossibly alluring. A deep connection that I am sure she feels.

“So, is your house as impressive as your car? Or did you blow your wad on the wheels?”

“I’m going to have to let you decide on that one.”

“I will,” she responds. “And you will be the very first to know what I think.”

“I hold my breath for your review.”

I pull the Aston Martin onto the freeway, gunning it down the road and to my house. I smile knowingly to myself as I do. Something tells me that she is going to be just a little impressed.

Chapter 18

CARRIE

His house is huge. Well, house is probably the wrong term to use. It’s a mansion.

An extraordinary mansion. It’s the kind of place I gaze openly at as I drive through Beverly Hills. It’s the kind of place that tourists take photos of when they go on street tours of L.A., if they can get that close.

His home is mind-blowing. As Blake navigates his car down his long driveway to the garage, I can’t believe that I am going to spend the next few days here.

“You like it?” He asks knowingly, smiling to himself as he notices my mouth hanging open.

“Just a bit,” I say, not even bothering to hide my awe. “How do you afford this? I thought you said you produced small, independent films?”

“I do,” he assures me. “But that doesn’t mean they don’t pay well. Plus, I made a few smart investments when I was younger.”

“Like what?”

“Property,” he says, nodding to the house.

This one gets a laugh out of me, and I don’t even care that my defenses are down slightly. I was worried about him earlier, and whether or not I am doing the right thing. But now, as he pulls his car into a garage that’s as big as my apartment, I can’t help think that I’m on the right track.

Once the car is parked, he jumps from the driver’s side and hustles his way across to the trunk to collect my bag. He’s there before I even have my seat belt off, and as I reach for the door handle, he beats me to it and opens the door for me.

“May I?” He asks, holding out his hand for me to take.

“You may,” I reply, offering him a bemused smile. The whole thing is a little over the top, and yet, I can’t help but be impressed by it. It’s impossibly romantic.

He opens the door to the house, leading me inside. As I step through the door and into the foyer, I don’t know what to gape at first. The inside of the house is as breathtaking as the outside. Modern everything is the theme. It’s spacious, warm and inviting.

I want to live here. I want this to be mine.

Not only does the house impress the hell out of me, but I am also blown away by the reception itself. Standing by the door, waiting to greet us, is who I assume to be the housekeeper. She holds two glasses of Champagne, one in each hand.

“Would you like a drink?” Blake asks as he steps inside. “I figure you may as well take advantage of it now, while you can.”

“True. And I’ve never been one to say no to a free drink.”

Once we both have our glasses, Blake takes my hand and leads me to the living room. Again, I gasp openly when I see what he has waiting for me. There are dozens of roses spread out on the floor. He walks forward and picks up one.

“I didn’t know what your favorite flower was. So I deigned to get you the most beautiful one, instead. For no other reason than to match your beauty.”

I blush heavily as I take the rose from his hand. It’s real, too. I can’t believe the effort he has gone through.

“That’s got to be it right? No more surprises?” I let out an exaggerated sigh, as if the whole ordeal has tired me out.

“Well,” he begins, a smirk on his face.

“What is it?” I ask.

He takes my hand and leads me through a small hallway to what I instantly guess to be the kitchen. I guess this because the smell hits me as soon as I step foot in the hallway. And as I walk down the hallway, the smell gets stronger and stronger.

“My God!” I exclaim, taking a deep whiff. “What is that?”

We walk into the kitchen. It’s a small kitchen, but a busy one. There are two chefs, hard at work. Seeing us, they offer a brief nod before going back to work. I look over their shoulders, trying, but failing, to guess what they are making me.

“It’s grilled salmon,” Blake says, seeing my curiosity. “With avocado mango salad, coconut rice, a side salad and, for dessert, chocolate cake.”

My eyes bulge as he rattles off what we are going to be eating. “Seriously, Blake you didn’t have to.”

“Yeah, I did,” he smirks. “Are you hungry?”

“Suddenly, I am. I can’t imagine why?”

“Boys, how long?” He asks the two chefs.

“Five minutes,” one of them replies.

“Perfect!” Blake smiles. “Shall we?”

He holds his hand out for me. I take it without hesitation, and he leads me from the kitchen to the dining room.

The dining room table is already set, with a glass of Champagne waiting for me. I haven’t even touched the one currently clutched in my hand. I’ve been far too mesmerized by the night. I quickly drink it, finishing it before I reach the table. This allows for me to scoop up the next one.

“Professional,” Blake jokes as he watches me.

“Preparing for an upcoming dry spell,” I reply as I take a seat.

Blake joins me, and we engage in some light-hearted, not-too-serious banter as we wait for our food. The conversation is, as always, free flowing and natural. If it wasn’t for the fact that it is my first night in the house, I would assume that I was a regular.

The food is served exactly five minutes after we sit down, and it tastes just as good as it smells. In fact, I have to work hard to control myself from guzzling down everything put in front of me. So instead, I take small portions, allowing the flavors to work over my tongue. Never filling up, but always satisfied.

This is helped by the Champagne, too. I have one more glass before the food arrives and then another before I take my first bite. It is as I’m about to dig into the dessert that I suddenly become aware of how tipsy I am feeling.

It’s not on purpose. It’s just that in the moment, because of how nice the food and drink is, I have gotten a little carried away.

The only reassurance is that Blake appears to be feeling it as well, albeit, not as much as I am. Truth be told, I am feeling a little nervous. Tonight is the night that Blake and I are finally going to have sex. Although I have been looking forward to it with relish and desire, I am obviously a little nervous. Who wouldn’t be?

Hence, why I am drinking so freely. But either way, as I dig into the cake, trying not to moan over the taste as I finish it, I become aware of the way that Blake is looking at me. It’s a look of desire and temptation, and it can only mean one thing. He wants me.

Chapter 19

BLAKE

I may have overdone it slightly. I want to impress her and make her see what living here is going to be like. But I could see as soon as we walked through the door that I caught her by surprise.

Even before that, when we pulled up to the house, her mouth was hanging open in pure shock. I sometimes forget how intimidating this house and the gardens can be. I know I was like that when I first bought it.

But Carrie has cooled off significantly since then. I watch her pour herself another glass to drink, her cheeks flushing red and her smile increasing in warmth. She has clearly come around to the idea of staying here. She is far more comfortable now.

“So, tell me,” I say as I take a sip of my Champagne. “How was the food? The chefs will be hounding me later so I’d like some feedback for them.”

“Are you kidding?” She says excitedly. “It was incredible. Do you always eat like that?”

“Not always,” I say, smirking. “Only when I have company. Special company. I figured that you fit into the category nicely.”

“That’s what I wanted to hear,” she smiles to herself. “I suppose you don’t actually live here either, do you? You’ve just rented it out to try to impress me.”

“Shit,” I exclaim, and I slap my hand on the table. “You caught me. I really thought I had you fooled.”

“I’m not like other girls,” she says as she tilts her glass to me. “You have to get up pretty early to fool me.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“Well.” She takes a final sip of her drink, draining the glass. She looks much more relaxed now. I like that. “If we only have the one night in this gorgeous place, you better show me the rest of it. You know, before we have to leave tomorrow.”

“Good point. We need to get the most out of it while we can.” I push out my chair and stand. “Shall we?”

I hold out my hand for her and she takes it, standing slowly. She is tipsy. I can tell from the way she pushes herself up from the table. But she isn’t drunk, and that is important.

She keeps a firm grip of my hand as I lead her through the house to the guest room. I have the guest room already made up for her, just in case. Although I assume that she will be staying with me, I don’t want to make her uncomfortable and just imply it.

“This is where you will be staying,” I say as I lead her into the room. It’s the size of her apartment, and I can see her eyes bulge as she looks around it.

“Not bad,” she says dismissively. “I’ve never slept in such a beautiful room before.”

“Is that right?” I chuckle. “I guess you’d be more comfortable sharing, then?”

“I think so.” She nods as she bites her lip. “If you’re okay with that?”

I don’t answer. Instead, I take her hand in mine. I lead her from the guest room to my own. My room is even bigger than the guest room. The bed is California king-sized, while the adjoining bathroom is as large as her whole apartment.

“This is more like it,” she says as we enter. “The other room was a little small for me.”

“Oh, I’d hate for you to be uncomfortable,” I joke as I let go of her hand.

As I do, she steps further into the room, and as she does that, I turn around and close the bedroom door.

The door clicks shut, and she spins around, looking from the closed door to me. I can feel the tension rise in the room as the implication of the closed door dawns on her. It’s thick and rife with sexuality.

I can see her mind stirring. She contemplates another sarcastic comment, but to my relief, she doesn’t make a joke.

She walks up to me with a knowing smile on her face. She reaches me, and I slide my hand across her back and pull her in closer. Our bodies collide, and we kiss. It’s a kiss that I have been looking forward to all night. But not only the kiss.

Our tongues dance. I feel myself getting hard as all the blood in my body rushes to my cock. I have wanted her for days now. I have thought about her every night before sleeping and every morning as I wake up.

I can tell that she is on the same page as me. As we kiss, the passion rises. Her hand runs to the back of my head. She grabs onto my hair and pulls it. I grip her back and squeeze her. I push my cock into her. I grab her sweet ass and let her know that this time, I am not going anywhere.

She wears a simple pair of yoga pants and a tank-top. When I picked her up, I was going to ask her to put on something more appropriate for dinner. Now I’m glad that I didn’t. In the yoga pants, her ass looks and feels amazing. And in the tank top, her breasts look spectacular.

I quickly remove her top, meeting zero resistance. She does the same to me, pulling off my shirt. Before I realize it, her hands are at my belt, and she takes off that too, dropping my pants to the ground. I wear a pair of boxers, and they struggle to contain what I have waiting for her.

I chalk it up to her tipsy state, the tenacity with which she undresses me. She is eager and can’t seem to control herself. Her hand finds my bulge. She squeezes it, and I feel myself getting even harder for her.

My hands are still wrapped on her ass. I can’t take them off. It feels so good. It’s only by pure force of will that I manage. The moment I release her, she drops to her knees. I smile as I realize what she is up to.

Her hands find the waistband to my boxers, and she pulls them down. As she does, I make sure to lean back a little so my dick doesn’t hit her in the face. It’s big, and she probably isn’t expecting it.

It comes out, sticking up straight. As soon as my cock is released, she grips it in her hand and squeezes it again. She moans in anticipation and what I am sure is relief at the size of it.

“That’s it, Carrie. Play with me,” I whisper roughly. The look on her pretty face says she likes what she hears, what she sees. Good. Hopefully she enjoys the taste too.

I run my hand through her hair, gripping her by the top of her head. I then push her head forward and over my cock.

She swallows it in one go. Her tongue runs over the tip, slicking it as her mouth slides down the entire shaft. I moan in pleasure and grip her head even tighter.

Back and forth, she moves on my cock, licking and sucking it. She moves to the shaft, running her tongue over it, before swallowing the entire thing again. I groan again.

I want her to stay down there all night. I want her to taste my cum as I finish inside her mouth. But I also want to be inside of her.

Chapter 20

CARRIE

He tastes so good. On my knees, I can’t stop sucking his big cock. I am in awe of its size. I run my mouth over it, and I can’t stop thinking about how it is going to feel inside of me.

I want to stay down here and keep going. I would love nothing more than to swallow his load. But I also want to feel him inside me.

With some difficulty, I pull my mouth from his cock and stand up. As I stand, I push him back onto the bed. He falls willingly. His erection lies straight as he is on his back. I smile down at him as I slowly drop my yoga pants and panties.

“Wow,” he says as he admires my body.

I don’t say anything. I just smile as I slowly walk to him. I run my hand down to my mound, stroking myself as I climb on the bed. I’m soaking wet. My fingers are dripping in my juices. As I climb on Blake, I give him my hand. He sucks my fingers, licking them clean.

I grip his cock in my hand, climb on top and position myself over him. I have never fucked a man with such a large cock and I am a little nervous. I hold his cock between my hands and slowly let it slide into me. Moaning as it goes inside, I struggle to take the whole thing. It’s bigger than anything I have ever had and it feels different. My shaking body and quivering thighs betray this.

It’s only as his cock slides all the way into me that I begin to work him. Up and down, I move. Back and forth. My hands rest on his chest, using him as leverage as I continue to grind. He grabs my hips and slides in and out of me. I move up to his shaft, just as his head is about to come out, and then I fall back on it. I do this again and again. Each time an electric pulse runs up my body.

His hands move up and grip my heaving breasts. He squeezes them and pinches my nipples. He sits up, and I gasp as he does. Not just because of how it feels, but his abs. He is ripped, and as he sits up, his six-pack hardens.

But I only have a moment to enjoy the view as his head buries itself into my breasts. He licks and nibbles my nipples, causing me to moan in pleasure.

I straddle him as I continue to grind. His hands wrap around my body and pull me in tighter. I find his back with my nails and drag them down his skin. He lets off a low moan at the sensation. He grabs the back of my hair, pulling my head back. He kisses and tears at my neck. It is pure ecstasy.

I want to ride him all night, but after a few moments, I feel that familiar heat rising in my body. It starts in my toes and works up my thighs. It spreads through my belly and over my entire body. I am about to come. I ride him harder and harder.

“I’m close,” I tell him.

“Come, baby,” he says.

My movements become more erratic and unstable. I scream, and he moans, telling me he is about to come. I can feel his cock pulsating inside of me. I can feel that he is close. I push myself forward, grinding hard. As I do, I feel him release inside of me. I come at the same time, screaming as I do.

As soon as I am physically able, I pull myself off him and fall down by his side. We are both hot and sweaty. Not to mention sticky. I nuzzle into his chest, kissing him on the neck as I settle in.

“Ah, shouldn’t you be on your back?” Blake suddenly says.

“What?” I ask, sure that I misheard.

“On you back. With your legs in the air? Isn’t that the best way to ensure that you get pregnant?” He is serious, too. I can hear it in his voice.

“Maybe?” I say, not really sure. “But it doesn’t matter. I’m not ovulating right now.”

“But still,” he says. “Shouldn’t we do it anyway? Just in case?”

“We?” I ask, sitting up. “You mean me? And you really want me to lie here with my legs in the air?”

“Well, yes,” he says.

“Look, how about this,” I begin. Looking at his face, I realize that he isn’t being a dick or anything of that nature. He’s just a man and with that comes certain failings. “When I am ovulating, I will happily lie on my back, if that makes you feel better. But for now, let’s just enjoy the moment.”

I lie back down, and as I do, he wraps his arm around me. He is warm, and I can feel his heart beating. It’s still fast, and as I nuzzle into him, it increases.

“You know,” he says. “I can’t tell you how pleased I am.”

“What do you mean?” I ask. “With me?”

“Well, yes. But also that we are doing this. I’m glad that it’s with you.”

“Oh,” I say, not sure how to respond.

“I like you, Carrie,” he continues. He sits up, moving me so that I am looking at him, into his eyes. “And like I said, I am glad you agreed to this. I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else.”

“Thanks,” I say, smiling warmly at him. I lean up and kiss him on the nose.

“And having a child, too. It’s all I’ve wanted for a while now.”

He lies down, and I snuggle into him again. It’s odd, but for some reason, I don’t believe him. I believe that he is glad that I am here, and I believe that he wants a baby. But to say that it is all he has ever wanted? I am not so sure.

Then again, as I lay beside him and I feel him drift off to sleep, I wonder if I am just thinking that to justify my actions. Despite how much I do like him, and I do, I can’t forget or forgive what he did to my sister. I just hope that when the time comes and I have the baby, that I can go through with what I have planned. I owe Lyndsey that much.

Chapter 21

BLAKE

The past week has been incredible. More than that. Words don’t really do it justice. And it’s all to do with Carrie. I wonder if it’s because it is Carrie specifically, or if I would feel this way were it some other girl?

I’ve been thinking that all week, and I hate to admit it, even to myself, but I am pretty sure that it is all Carrie.

She is just so incredible. Physically, she is supreme. Her body is amazing, and whenever we have sex, I relish in the chance to touch her and have her all to myself. And we have been having a lot of sex, too. Even though she isn’t ovulating, all we do is have sex. Every night and every morning. Even right now, it’s only lunch time, and I want to rush home so I can have her again. It doesn’t get old.

But it is more than just the sex. It’s the companionship. It’s strange, but I have spent almost my entire life single. The last really serious relationship I had was in high school, and the way that ended left a scar that took a while to heal. It’s because of that I’ve avoided relationships, and I’ve always thought that was best for me. But now? Well, now, I’m not so sure.

After we have sex, Carrie will snuggle by my side and the two of us talk. Not about anything special, just regular chit chat. But every second of it is amazing. I could talk to her for hours, and sometimes, I do.

It’s a feeling that I’ve never experienced, and I wonder if that is what all my friends are always going on about. Ben often tells me that his favorite night of the week is Sunday because the kids are with the babysitter and he and Janet get to be alone together. I told him he’s crazy, but now I’m not so sure.

I’m having a hard time concentrating. Like I said, it’s been this way all week. I should be working, but I keep on thinking about tonight. I just can’t wait to get home. What’s more is that I have a good feeling that tonight is the night I get Carrie pregnant. I can just feel it. Sure, she says that she isn’t ovulating until tomorrow, but something just tells me that tonight will be the one.

I have another go at concentrating on work, but soon realize that it isn’t going to happen. Maybe I should just go home and start again on Monday? I decide that this is for the best and begin to pack my things.

I am my own boss, after all, and can do what I want.

As I turn off my computer, my work phone rings. I stare at it as it continues to ring, wondering if I should even answer it. It might be important, but chances are, it’s just some client checking in on me, seeing if I still have their priorities in order.

I sigh and fall back in my chair. I let the phone ring one more time and pick it up. “Hello, Blake here.”

“Eight rings. What took you so long?” It’s Ben on the other end.

I wonder what he is doing, calling my work phone when he has my cell. But then I remember that he’s old fashioned and just has an affinity for landlines.

“I’m a busy guy, Ben,” I say, trying to sound important. “Clients, movies, directors. It’s big and important stuff.”

“Yeah, right,” he scoffs down the other end. “It’s a Friday, so I know you were just getting ready to leave for the bar.”

“What do you want?” I say, cutting him down. “Speak now or the phone is hanging up in three, two, one.”

“Okay,” he says quickly. “I was actually calling for a reason. I wanted to know what you were doing Saturday.”

“This Saturday?”

“Yeah, the day that comes after today. I’m sure you have big important meetings and everything. But is there any chance you can pull yourself away from them?”

Ben has always thought my job to be a little silly, truth be told. He’s not really a movie guy, and I think that’s the exact reason we get along so well.

“For you, Ben? I think I can make an exception.”

“Perfect. I’m having a barbecue, and I wouldn’t be totally opposed to you coming along.”

“Oh fuck, no I can’t actually.” Carrie and I had discussed staying in all night and trying as many times as possible.

“What, really?” He asks, surprised. “What are you doing?”

“I have a date if you must know. With Carrie.”

“Bring her along, then. I don’t mind”

“I don’t know,” I begin.

I wonder if I should. Not only because I want to spend the night trying for a baby, but I also don’t know if I am ready yet for her to meet my friends. I don’t even know if she would want to.

“Come on. I don’t bite, and I am sure that I can ask Janet not to as well. I want to meet the special lady.”

“I don’t think special is the right word,” I say dismissively.

“Yeah, right,” he scoffs again. “I don’t think I’ve ever known you to blow off seeing your friends for a girl. Come to think of it, I don’t think you’ve ever had a girl long enough to blow your friends off for.”

“Whatever,” I say, trying to shut him down.

But even I can’t deny that what he is saying is closer to the truth than I would like to admit. I can try to deny what Carrie means to me, but the evidence doesn’t lie.

“Is that a yes?” Ben asks.

“If it means ending this conversation, yeah,” I joke.

“Perfect! The barbecue starts around one. So come around then.”

I hang up the phone chuckling to myself. Still in my seat, I stare at the phone, lost in thought. I hate how well Ben knows me, and I hate how right he is. I can lie to him all I want, but my actions speak for themselves.

I just wonder how Carrie feels about the whole thing. It’s odd, but I hope she feels the same way. I hope that she isn’t in this just for the money, but maybe because she sees me as something more.

I shake my head as this thought hits me. It’s alien to me and scares me just a little. I need to keep my mind focused. I am using Carrie to have a baby and nothing more. At least that is what I am telling myself.

Chapter 22

CARRIE

Blake’s house really is amazing. As I walk through the living room to the spare room where my laptop is set up, I pinch myself in disbelief. I am in awe. Every day, I wake up and keep my eyes closed tight in the fear that when I open them, I will be back in my own place and realize this is all just a dream. But then I open them, I see Blake beside me, and I realize that it really is happening. When that happens, I laugh. I just cannot believe it.

And it isn’t just the house that I love, but the atmosphere that comes with it. It feels like I am constantly on vacation. Christina, the housekeeper, cleans every morning, the chefs cook and all I have to worry about is Blake.

Every night, Blake comes home from work, and the two of us talk about our day. Then we have sex. And then we usually have sex again. The sex is unreal and gets better every single time. We have begun to learn about each other’s bodies, what we both like and dislike. Each time we learn, the sex improves.

I’m finding myself liking Blake more and more. At first, it’s more physical than anything. Now that I’ve gotten to know him, I can’t help but admit that I am starting to fall for him. Even now, sitting at my laptop. It’s only just past lunch, and I continually check the clock, hoping that it’s time for him to come home.

I shake my head as these thoughts intrude. I’m at my laptop, and I need to concentrate on my book. The book is coming along so well. Being around Blake has provided the perfect inspiration, and the words flow from my fingertips like water from a fountain.

Every night as I sleep with Blake and every morning as I say goodbye, I feel inspired. The book will be finished in no time and when that happens? Well, maybe, I will have a place like this one day.

I begin to type and something odd happens. I can’t find the words. It’s the first time since I arrived here that I have struggled to type. And I know why. I can’t stop thinking about tomorrow night.

It’s the first day of my ovulation, and I know that Blake will be extra excited about having sex. In fact, I’m quite sure that he is going to have something planned. That’s just how he is.

My only worry is that he is going to start treating me like some sort of baby-making machine. The last few nights have been all about the sex and pleasure. He has been so attuned to my body and my needs that I had almost forgotten why we are doing what we are. But now that I am ready, I fear that he will forget about me.

I’m also worried about what will happen after. Every day, I can feel myself liking Blake more, and every day, I question my future plans. I loved my sister, and I still do. I would, and will, do anything to avenge her. I just hope that when the time comes, I am able. I hope that I can do it.

The phone rings, snapping me from my thoughts. I pick it up, smiling when I see it is Amy calling. I could use the distraction, and I answer the phone happily.

“Amy,” I say.

“Carrie,” she says, feigning a serious tone. “How are you?”

“Good,” I gush. “How can I not be?”

“Okay, rub it in why don’t you,” she says, laughing to herself. “You live in a palace with a hunk who showers you with gifts and what I assume is pretty amazing sex. Which is why, I’m assuming, that you have been there all week?”

“Did you call just to complain?”

I haven’t told Amy the real reason for me having moved in with Blake. Not yet anyway. I plan on it. I do. But no point in saying anything before I get pregnant. I just don’t know how she is going to take it. Especially since she knows who he is and the history he had with my sister.

“No, I miss you, silly,” she says. “And I have a few minutes to kill between appointments, and you’re at the top of my speed dial.”

“Well, like you said, everything is going amazingly.” I don’t care how pretentious it might sound. “Like seriously, he has his own chefs even. It’s insane.”

“And the sex?” She pushes.

“Is unreal, of course. You hit the nail on the head before. Why else would I be shacked up here?”

“Girl, I’m just glad that you’re getting some. Finally. Now when I start getting a little of my own, we can have a party.” She’s joking, but I can hear the envy in her voice. “Does he know, though?”

“Know what?” I ask. For a moment, I worry that she knows my plan. But that’s impossible. She doesn’t even know about the baby yet.

“About you and Lyndsey? Have you told him who you are?”

“Oh that,” I say, and I breathe a sigh of relief. “No, not yet.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“I will,” I assure her. “When the time is right.”

“And when will that be? The longer you wait, the more awkward that conversation is going to be. ‘Hi. Just so you know, you used to date my sister, and I know that you dumped her because she was pregnant.’ That will be fun.”

“I know,” I assure her. “I’m going to soon. It’s just, I don’t know.”

“Wait a minute,” she cuts in. “Either the sex is that great or you’re starting to like him.” I’m silent and that tells her everything. “You do like him!”

It’s just now that I hear the front door open. Blake is home, hours earlier than usual. My heart skips in my chest.

“I’ve got to go,” I say quickly.

“What? No, don’t you dare!”

I hang up the phone and leap from my chair. I don’t even realize how excited I am until I’m halfway to the door. I slow myself down, not wanting to act like an excited puppy when its master comes home.

Spotting Blake walking across the living room, I offer him a warm smile and walk toward him. He returns the smile, holding his arms out in a mock exaggeration. Even still, I walk into them and hug him with all my might.

“Hey, honey,” he says jokingly.

“Hey, sweetie,” I reply.

It’s in this moment that I realize something. I really like Blake. Despite all my blustering and denial, I really like this guy. More than I had planned. And as he continues to hold me and kisses me on the head, I wonder to myself if I will have the strength to do what I need to. I wonder if I will be able to leave him and take the baby when I do.

Somehow, now, I’m not so sure.

Chapter 23

BLAKE

I have given the chefs a night off. They usually don’t work every night, anyway, and have only been doing so on account of Carrie being here. So, with them gone, I have ordered a pizza for Carrie and me instead.

I watch with a smile as Carrie devours the pizza. Cheese runs down her chin, and her fingertips are coated in grease. She licks them clean, laughing as she does. I get the sense that she enjoys the pizza as much as any of the meals we have eaten this week.

I have to remind myself that she’s not used to my lifestyle. She isn’t impressed or wowed by riches and fancy things like so many girls who I date. It’s one of the many reasons I find myself falling for her.

“Dear God, this is good pizza,” she croons as she swallows the last piece. “Even the pizza on this side of the tracks is nicer.”

“This side of the tracks,” I say with a chuckle. “What tracks?”

“It’s an expression,” she says, smirking. “You know what I mean.”

I watch her with a smile on my face, unable and unwilling to hide it. In this moment, I am happier than I can remember ever really being. I’m glad that she is having my baby. But I am also glad that it is with her specifically.

“Hey, what are you doing tomorrow afternoon and night?” I ask.

“Oh, this and that,” she responds with a smile.

“Do you think you can postpone it for a night?” I joke.

“I’m sure I can work something out. Why?”

“I spoke to my friend Ben earlier, and he invited me to a barbecue at his place tomorrow. I want you to come with me.”

“Tomorrow,” she begins. She frowns as she does, as if she has suddenly remembered something. Even before she speaks, I know what she is going to say. “But tomorrow is my first day. I thought we were going to be, well, busy?”

“I’m sure we will find time to have sex tomorrow. Don’t worry about that. And besides. If not tomorrow, there is always the next day. And the day after that.”

“And you don’t mind? Me always hanging around here? I thought you would be getting sick of me by now?”

“There was a chance of that,” I say, holding her eyes with my own as I do. “But you’ve grown on me, believe it or not. I find myself liking having you around.”

“Is that right?” She asks, not even bothering to hide her tremendous smile. Her cheeks flush red as she does.

“That’s right,” I say back.

“Okay, you’ve got me. I’ll come tomorrow, on one condition.”

“Which is?”

“That you let me use that Jacuzzi tonight? I haven’t used it yet, and it’s been calling my name all week.”

“You haven’t used it yet?” I ask, feigning shock. “Well, in that case, I insist. But only if you let me join you. On that condition, I can’t be moved.”

She bites her lip as she pretends to think on the proposal. “I don’t think so.”

She suddenly jumps to her feet. She winks at me, turns and runs to my bedroom.

“No, you don’t!” I yell, and I chase after her. She screams when she hears me coming, and as I chase her into the bathroom, I pick her up off her feet.

“Put me down!” She laughs as I dangle her above the floor.

“Only if you promise to let me join you.”

“Fine, I give up!” She’s still laughing as I put her down. “You can join me. In fact, that might make the Jacuzzi even more enjoyable.”

I smile and walk forward to turn on the faucet. The hot water pours from the faucet, filling up the tub. As I watch the water rise, I begin to undress.

“I love your tattoos,” she says as she watches me take my clothes off.

“Oh yeah? Which ones?” I drop my pants to the floor.

“All of them. But if I had to pick, I would say that one.” She points to a tattoo on the back of my shoulder. It’s my favorite one as well. “What does it mean?”

“Have I not told you?” I ask.

“No.”

“It’s supposed to represent the Gordian knot,” I say. I run my hand through the water, testing the heat. “It’s based on an old story about Alexander the Great. I won’t bore you with the details, but basically it was foretold that whoever could undo this knot would rule the world.”

“And he undid it?” She asks, wide-eyed. She is totally naked now, and I have to work to maintain my concentration. Her body is incredible, and I just want to take her, here and now.

“He cut it with his sword,” I explain. “And the knot fell undone.”

“That’s cheating!”

“No, it’s thinking outside the box. I got the tattoo in college to remind me that there’s always another way to do something, and that way, the one that no one has tried before, is often the most effective.”

“Ah, I see,” she says. “Very clever.”

“Do I hear sarcasm in your voice?” I ask.

“Is there ever not?”

“So you don’t buy the story then?”

“Well,” she begins. “It’s not so much that I don’t buy it. But more that I think he cheated. If the story is about cheating to achieve your goals, then that’s fine. But to say that he undid the knot? That’s a stretch.”

“Come here!”

I take a quick step forward and scoop Carrie off her feet. She lets out a fake scream as I throw her over my shoulder. With her still on my shoulder, I reach forward and turn off the running water. The Jacuzzi is full, and I step gingerly into it, sinking into its depths, still carrying her over my shoulder the entire time.

As I slide into the water, I let her fall from me. She does so with a splash, laughing the entire time.

Chapter 24

CARRIE

The water in the Jacuzzi is warm, and it feels amazing on my body. Even more amazing is the man I am sharing it with. Blake looks unreal without any clothes on. Sure, I have seen him naked more times than I can count now, but somehow, in the context of the Jacuzzi, he looks even better than usual.

His broad chest sits just above the water, lapping at his nipples. He scoops up a handful of water and drops it over his head. It runs down his face and over his body. He looks like a damn model. And his tattoos! With the water shimmering off them, they look better than ever before.

“I seriously love your tattoos,” I say as I push myself to him.

He’s sitting on the small step in the Jacuzzi, and he takes my hand and pulls me into his lap.

“I love your…” As I speak, I move my hand down to his crotch, grabbing his cock between my fingers. It’s already hard, and I give it a tug.

“Do you, now?” He asks with a groan.

“You know I do,” I say, gripping it harder. It pulsates in my hand. Turning my body, I position myself with my back to Blake, so my pussy is sitting right above his cock.

“Wait,” he says, stopping me from sitting on it. “We can’t do it in here.”

“Why not?” I ask. My pussy lips are rubbing along the head of his cock, and I slowly lower myself down, pressing them onto him. “Don’t you want to?”

“You know I do.” His hands rest on my ass, holding me up and stopping me from impaling myself on his girth. “But there’s no point. I mean that you can’t get pregnant in a Jacuzzi.”

“What? Yes, you can.” Again, I try to sit on the head of his still erect cock. I have to hand it to him, his self-control is incredible.

“Doesn’t the heat from the water stop the semen or something like that?” He asks.

“That’s just a myth,” I say, even though I have no idea if it is or not.

My hand reaches down between my thighs, gripping him again. I squeeze, and he lets out a long, deep moan. As I do, I again position myself so that his head is pressed against the lips of what would be a very wet pussy, were it not for the fact that I am already wet from the water.

“I don’t…” He can’t even finish his sentence.

As he speaks, I guide his cock into me. It hits my lips, and this time, he doesn’t stop me. I slip myself down, moaning as his girth fills me. I take him, inch by inch, second by second, until all of him is inside of me.

My ass is pressed into his stomach, my back faces him, and his cock is inside of me. He reaches around me, wrapping his hands around my breasts. He pinches my nipples and squeezes me. I moan and tell him to do it harder. He does.

He leans forward, kissing my back and neck. It sends tingles up my spine and is sensational.

As he does all this, I begin to bounce. From where I am sitting, I’m able to easily move myself up and down on his cock. I squeeze my legs together, making sure to get the best grip I can. I move my hips up, sliding all the way until the head of his huge dick is about to burst from my lips. I then suddenly stop, rub my pussy on it for just a second, and slide all the way back down.

Up I go again and then back down. Each time I reach the top of his shaft, I pause for just a moment. I make him groan. And as I slide down, ever so slowly, he groans for me.

“That’s it, baby. Fuck me real good. Don’t stop until you come, Carrie.”

I increase my speed now. Up faster and down faster. He runs his hands down my back. His nails pierce me, and I tell him to do it again. He grabs a handful of my hair and pulls it back. I let out a scream of ecstasy.

He feels so good inside me. I slow my tempo as I prepare for my next move. With him still inside of me, I kick my leg up and turn around so that I am facing him. Straddling him now, I begin to move again.

From this position, I am able to grab onto his shoulders and use him to lift me up and down. Back and forth, up and down, I move. I push my hips forward, grinding my clit down as I move into him. I lift myself up, moaning as I do and then I fall back down.

His hands hold my ass, helping me to balance. I reach forward, grab him by the head, and shove his face into my breasts. He bites and tears at them. First the nipple and next the skin. He then sucks them, licks them and does everything he can with his mouth. I scream for him to keep going.

I ride him for all I am worth. I want to come, but I don’t want to stop.

“Wait,” he says.

“What?” I pant, almost unable stopping what I am doing.

“Let’s finish this in the bedroom. Now.”

“Bedroom? Why?” I can barely speak from how out of breath I am. He so fucking good. It’s almost too much.

“Honestly? Because I want to bend that ass over and ride you from behind.”

I smile and nod. Honestly, I think it sounds like a wonderful idea.

I slowly slide myself from his cock. As I do, I repeat the same motion. Pausing at the top of his cock, I rub my lips on it, massaging him with my wet slit. He groans, and I laugh.

Climbing from the Jacuzzi, he takes my hand and helps me up. His cock sticks up straight, and it takes all my self-control to not fall to my knees and start sucking it. But I’m worried about how much longer I can last, and I want him back inside of me.

He takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom. Water drips from our bodies as we enter the master bedroom. He leads me to the bed. As I reach it, he pushes me forward, and I stumble. My hands shoot out and I land flat on the bed.

“Stay right there,” he orders.

With my hands flat on the bed and my ass sticking out, he walks up behind me. His cock presses itself into my ass, and his hands massage it. He then spanks me, nice and hard. I tell him to do it again, only harder, and he does.

“Are you ready?” He breathes into my ear. He kisses the back of my neck and bites my earlobe.

I can feel his cock pressing itself up against me. It is trying to get inside of me. But I’m not letting it. Not yet anyway.

“Are you?” I say back.

In reply, he places his hand on my back and pushes me forward so that I am fully bent over. I perk up my ass and ready myself for round two. Judging from the way his body shakes and his cock throbs, I predict this is going to be one hell of a second round.

Chapter 25

BLAKE

Every part of Carrie is unreal. In the Jacuzzi, when she was riding me reverse cowgirl, it was all I could do to not come there and then. And now, as she bends over the bed in front of me, I’m in the same boat. My cock shakes with anticipation, and I worry that the second it enters her, I am going to explode.

I run my hand over her bare ass, loving how round and smooth it is. I move my hand over it and down to her pussy. My fingers dip inside of her, and she moans as they do. I run them over her engorged clit. She shakes as I stroke around it.

Her entire body responds. I am sure that she wants me inside of her to finish the job, but I decide on something else.

She is still bent over the bed. I am holding on to her ass with both hands, and I drop down to my knees. I nibble at the sweet curve of her ass first. Her left cheek and then her right. I lick and kiss them. I pinch them with my hands. Each time I do, she moans and squeals.

Her pussy is right in my face. Her lips are inches away from my own. I lick my own lips, eye my target and bury my face. Her pussy tastes amazing, and as my tongue punctures it, she lets out a long groan. I feel her hand run through my hair and push my face in even further.

My tongue finds her clit and licks it. It’s swollen, and it hardens with each lick and suck. I wrap my lips around it, toying with it, playing with it. She spreads her legs a little more, allowing for me to really get my face in there, and I do.

I run my tongue up her lips, switching between licking the inside of her sweet pussy and the outside of her clit. Each time I do, she moans and groans.

“Don’t stop!” she begs for me to continue.

Her entire body is responding now. She’s shaking and vibrating. I am sure that if I continue, if I keep my mouth wrapped around her, that she will come all over my face.

I want to taste her juices. I want them dripping down my chin. But I also want to finish inside of her.

I pull my face from her. Keeping a tight grip on her ass so she doesn’t move, I position myself behind her. My cock is still rock hard, but not as ready to blow as it was a few moments earlier. I press the head of my cock against her wet lips and tease her. By the sound of her soft panting, she loves it.

“Blake, please,” she moans.

Her hand reaches underneath her legs, gripping my cock by the base. She strokes it and rubs it against her thighs and lips. Her leg arches itself up, allowing me an easier entry. I slap her ass. Once and then twice. She squeals, loving it. Fuck me. I love that she loves it. Naughty girl.

“Fuck me. Now,” she whispers.

“With all ten inches, baby.” With one giant heave, I shove my hard length inside of her. It slides up, sandwiching between her lips. They suck around it, swallowing my shaft whole. Only when I am all the way inside of her, all the way up to my stomach, do I stop. And then I start again.

Back and forth, I move my hips. In and out, in and out. I slide my cock all the way out of her, pausing at the end. I then shove it back into her, all the way to my stomach. Every time I do, she screams. Every time I do, she tells me to do it harder. And I do just that.

I start to really pump into her harder. She is still bent over, and I am not going to let her go anywhere. I want to finish inside of her in this position. I love the way her ass looks. It’s so round and so firm. It’s all muscle and about as close to perfect as an ass can be.

Back and forth, I continue to work her. I reach forward and take a handful of her hair. I pull her head back. Still holding on, my other hand slaps her perfect ass. And again. Each time I slap it, she tells me that she wants more. So I give her more.

I want to fuck her forever. I never want to stop. If I were to die now, I would be a happy man, because this is as close to heaven as I will ever be. But I can’t go forever. Even now, as I think of this, I feel that sensation rising inside of me. I can feel my balls aching, my toes tingling and my knees shaking.

“Are you close?” I ask.

“So close,” she moans. “Come inside me. I want you to put a baby–”

Her words are cut off and she screams again as I ram myself all the way inside her.

The fire is starting to rise through the rest of my body. I am so close. My movements become more erratic, faster, harder. She starts to bounce back and forth, really pushing me to the edge.

It’s on me now. It has taken over my entire body. I tap her on the ass, letting her know that I am about to come. She reaches back, grabbing onto me with one hand. Her toes flex out, her body goes rigid and together, the two of us come.

As I come, I press myself all the way into her, making sure that my cock is totally buried. I feel the hot, sticky mess pouring from me, and I want to make sure that she takes all of it.

Once I am finished, I stay inside of her. I try to press my body as tightly to hers as I can, ensuring that nothing is lost. When it is all said and done, I still want her pregnant.

Her head is buried in the bed now, but she hasn’t moved. Like a good girl, her ass is sticking up in the air. She knows that she has to try to keep as much of my load inside her as she can. She knows that a baby is the number-one concern here. Well that, and the pleasure that we both receive from it.

It’s only after several minutes, with me behind her, my cock buried into her, that I finally feel safe enough to remove myself. Slowly, very slowly, I pull myself from Carrie. My dick is still slightly hard and dripping in her juices. I don’t even bother to wipe it off as I fall in the bed beside her. She rolls onto her back and crawls up to me.

We lay together with her wrapped in my arms. And as we do, I have to pinch myself. Despite all the baby talk and the ‘business proposal’ that the two of us made. I am still the happiest I have ever been. I hate to admit it, but I definitely feel myself falling in love with this woman.

Chapter 26

CARRIE

As I wrap myself in Blake’s arms, I struggle to contain my smile. It spreads across my face with force and broadcasts openly just how happy I am right now. And it’s not just how great the sex is, although that is on another level. It’s everything.

Blake is just so damn incredible. He is caring, kind and considerate. He is funny, warm and compassionate.

He is the opposite of how I pictured him when Lyndsey used to describe him. Sure, she would tell me how hot he was, but she would also complain about how cruel he could be, and how he used to use her for his own means. I just don’t see any of that in him. Or at least, I haven’t yet.

But whenever I think of that, and whenever my future plans come to the forefront of my mind, I have to work to contain them and push them away. I don’t want to think about that right now. I don’t want to ruin the moment. For right now, the moment is perfect.

“Well, that was something else,” Blake finally says after a long silence.

I nuzzle against his chest, stroking the lines of his muscles.

“I’ve definitely had worse,” I joke. I kiss his chest as I do, concentrating on his pecs.

“Easy,” he warns jokingly. “I might not be so considerate next time. I might have to just start thinking about my own needs.”

“Does that mean that we will be done faster? Because I think I’d be okay with that.”

“That’s it!”

He pulls his arm from under me and holds me down as he begins to tickle me. I scream, batting him away as best as I can. But he is far too strong, and it’s all I can do to stop myself from rolling from the bed and falling on the ground.

“Okay,” I scream. “I’m sorry. I take it back!”

“Good,” he says with a smile. He stops tickling me, allowing me to rest back in his arms. “You’re far too sassy for my liking.”

“It’s a defense mechanism,” I say. “The benefits of being an only child and an orphan.”

“I didn’t know you were an orphan,” he says, sitting up and looking at me with curiosity.

I had forgotten that I haven’t told him that yet. I’ve been trying to keep my past hidden and secret, just in case.

“Oh, did I not mention that?” I ask quietly.

“No. You told me you had a sister who passed away. And the way you spoke, it sounded like you had a family, too?”

“I was adopted,” I admit.

It’s odd, but I want to tell him more. I want to open up to him and share my secrets with him. I’m usually pretty closed off, but Blake brings it out in me.

“Are you and your adoptive parents close?” He asks.

“Not really,” I admit. “I was close with my adoptive sister, but when she passed away, I kind of lost contact with my adoptive parents. Her death was hard on us, all of us.”

“How did she die?” He asks softly.

I can tell that he is treading lightly, not wanting to push me to hard. I appreciate it.

“I’d rather not go into it,” I say. “It’s hard to talk about.”

“Sorry, I’m sure it must be difficult.”

“No, you don’t have to apologize. I’d just rather hear about your childhood. I’m sure it’s much more interesting than mine is.”

I try my best to deflect the line of questioning, and it seems to work as he sits up further.

“Oh, it’s your typical broken home story,” he says. “It’s a wonder I turned out so normal.”

“Did you?” I joke.

“Relatively. But I think that’s why I want a child so much. I had a pretty lousy childhood, and I feel that I need to remedy that, to prove that it wasn’t my fault. If I can be a good father, it might do some work erasing some of the bad memories I have of my own childhood. You know?”

His voice is soft, almost vulnerable. It’s the most open he has ever been with me.

“And a wife?” I ask. “Any plans for that?”

“Hang on,” he says, grinning. “I barely know you. A kid is one thing but slow down.”

“Shut up,” I say, slapping him on the chest. “You know what I mean.”

“I do. And yeah, one day maybe. I’ve never really had a long-term relationship before. So, let’s concentrate on that first. Then, if you’re nice to me, I’ll ask you to marry me.” He chuckles to himself.

“You can,” I begin. “But I probably won’t say yes. I’m holding out for someone really special.”

“Oh, well I wish you good luck, then.” He kisses me on the forehead, as if giving me his blessing. I slap him on the chest again.

“Anything else I need to know about you?” I ask. “I am trying to have a baby with you after all.”

I decide to change the topic. The conversation is getting very intimate, and I can’t help but feel the need to change it. Every time he opens up, I feel myself falling harder for him. I can’t let that happen.

“Hmm, I love pineapple on my pizza,” he says.

“That’s it,” I say quickly, sitting up and pretending to climb from the bed. “We’re done here. You’re clearly unhinged and your mouth is broken.”

“I don’t think so,” he says, grabbing me by the waist and pulling me back. “And just so you know, my son is going to love it, too.”

“Son?” I ask suddenly. “You think it’s going to be a boy?”

“A son. A daughter. As long as it’s healthy and happy, I don’t care. I just want a child,” he says seriously.

I stop what I am doing and stare at him properly for the first time. At the mention of a possible child, my heart begins to ache. I don’t know why, but until this point, this whole thing has felt kind of fake. Like it wasn’t really real. But thinking about the gender of the child? That makes it so much more tangible.

It hits me hard. To me, this has been about the money, but to Blake, he really wants a child. He really wants to be a father. And not just a father, but a good father. And what’s more, this will make me a mother.

He leans forward and kisses me on the forehead, wrapping his arm around me. I fall into him, allowing for him to pull me back into bed. Despite myself, I feel a tear rolling down my cheek.

Chapter 27

BLAKE

I don’t know who is more nervous, Carrie or me? On the one hand, I know that she is nervous about meeting Ben and my other friends. Over the past week, we have slowly become closer and closer. I don’t want to call her my girlfriend, but essentially, that is what she is. Bringing her over to meet Ben is a sign of this.

Her nerves directly correlate with mine. She is worried about what Ben will think of her. I know what kind of a person Ben is. He likes mischief. He is more likely than not to latch on to how Carrie and I met, why we are together, and try to poke fun at me and our relationship because of it.

Usually, this would be fine, if only Carrie and I had spoken about it. But as we haven’t. Well, not about how serious we are becoming anyway. Today will either make or break us.

And there’s also the fact that I haven’t told anyone that we are trying for a baby.

The two of us are silent as I navigate the Aston Martin along the freeway to where Ben lives. It’s only a short drive, but it feels like it has been hours.

“Just so you know,” I say, in an attempt to break the silence. “As soon as you want to leave, all you have to do is tell me. If you’re bored, or not having a good time or whatever.”

“Why would I not have a good time?” She asks, raising an eyebrow at me.

“No reason. But just in case, you know?”

“Don’t worry,” She smiles and reached across to take my hand. “I am sure that today will be fine. They’re your friends, and you like them. So, I assume that I’ll like them just as much.”

I take my eyes off the road and glance at her, smiling as I do. I can’t even put into words how much I appreciate her in this moment. It’s as if she can read my mind and knows what I am thinking. Maybe today won’t be so bad after all?

***

“There he is! I was about to send out a search party!” Ben calls out from across the yard the moment that we enter.

Ben is now a full-on suburban dad. He lives in a modern, single-story home, complete with a wooden picket fence, a spacious backyard and a happy family. The barbecue features roughly twenty people, only half of whom I recognize.

I get the sense that most of the men are fathers, just like Ben, and that’s how he knows them. Ever since Ben became a father, I have noticed the two of us drifting apart. That’s just the way things go sometimes.

“We were going to skip it and go to the beach instead, but I figured that we should at least make a brief appearance,” I call back as I cross the yard to him.

“Honestly, I think that would have been the better option. Jake just burnt the meat, and my youngest has Janet trapped inside the house. He’s going through that ‘no’ phase and is being a bit of a pest, if I’m being honest.”

He reaches me and pulls me into a hug.

“And for the life of me, I just can’t imagine why I’m not a father yet,” I joke.

“Who would have your baby? Oh, hello!” Ben beams as he spots Carrie trailing behind me. “You must be Carrie, who I have heard, well, probably a normal amount about. Not too much, not too little.”

“That’s funny, Blake hasn’t mentioned you at all,” Carrie shoots back.

Ben erupts into a fit of laughter, and I feel the tension melt away.

“Damn, she has an acid tongue this one,” he says, slapping me on the back. “I like her already.”

“Uncle Blake!” I hear the call coming from across the yard, nearer the house. I turn to it, smiling the moment I spot its source. It’s Simon, Ben’s son.

“Simon Says!” I yell back. “I’ll be one moment,” I whisper in Carrie’s ear as I turn and charge toward Simon. The moment I reach him, he throws open his arms and I scoop him into the air, holding him there.

“Put me down!” he wails.

“Why would I do that?” I ask, holding him by his waist.

He still has a bandage on his head from his accident. I’m careful not to touch it. I love Simon as much as I have anyone. He and his brother are the closest things I have to children and are a large reason behind my desire to have one of my own.

“Because I’ll tell Dad!” Simon giggles and screams.

“Do it. I think he’ll tell me to keep going.” I throw him in the air, catching him by the waist and planting him back on the ground. As soon as his feet hit the ground, he wraps his arms around my leg and pulls me into a tight hug.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” he says excitedly.

“For you, I would cross the world,” I say, and I ruffle his hair. “Did your father not tell you?”

I look back across the yard and see that Ben and Carrie are still talking. Carrie is laughing, and Ben clearly loves the effect he is having on her.

Despite how light-hearted their conversation looks, I still feel my stomach drop as I watch them. I know what Ben is like, and he is likely to mention something embarrassing. As he knows how I feel about Carrie, that something is likely to be in the vein of how much I like her.

That wouldn’t be a bad thing, if Carrie and I had had that conversation yet. But we haven’t, and I don’t want the first time being in Ben’s backyard in front of his friends.

“I’ll be right back,” I say to Simon, and I ruffle his hair again. I then turn and hurry back across the yard to Ben and Carrie.

“What’s so funny?” I ask.

“Oh, nothing,” Ben says back, and as he does, he turns and winks at Carrie. She cracks up laughing again.

“Somehow, I don’t believe you,” I respond lightly.

“It’s seriously nothing,” Carrie says, wiping away the tears. “We were actually just talking about you and Simon. I can’t believe how good you are with kids.”

“Oh,” I say surprised. “Yeah, well, I have a knack for it, I suppose.”

Ben turns back, waving at his son. “I always said you would be a good dad. You’ll have to settle for being a good uncle instead.”

As Ben is looking across the yard and away from Carrie and me, I catch her eye and wink. She smiles knowingly back. Yes, I am a good uncle, and I will be an even better father. I just can’t wait to prove it.

Chapter 28

CARRIE

Blake feels so good inside me. Like really good. I lay on my back with my legs wrapped around his waist. I relish the way he punishes me. He thrusts up and down, deeper and faster with every move. He bites my neck, he pulls at my hair and he digs his fingers into my exposed ass.

I’m fully clothed, except that my skirt is pulled up around my waist. And so is Blake, save for the fact that his pants are down around his ankles. We weren’t meant to have sex today, at least, not right now. I was on my way to the front door, my bags all packed, when he grabbed me and dragged me back to his bedroom.

I wrap my hands around his ass and guide him. He moves faster and faster. There is no foreplay or anything like that. We don’t need it. I am so wet and so aroused whenever I am around him that I am always ready to go. He is too, and the way he has me now is proof of that.

Back and forth, he pushes himself, his hips dancing. My legs stick up in the air now, and my ass is raised. He goes deeper and deeper. His hand moves down and rubs my clit. It sends a spark through my body. I bite his ear, and his nails press into the skin on my ass.

He continues to thrust inside of me, and his movements become harder and faster. His head is buried into my shoulder, and I can feel his whole body shuddering.

“I’m close,” he growls.

“I know, babe,” I reply.

His movements are the giveaway. And although I haven’t had time to reach that point, I really don’t mind. I just want him to come inside me.

And then, before I know it, he comes. Hard and fast. As he does, his body tightens up, and his lower half spasms. He pushes himself further into me, pausing as the base of his cock rams into my pussy.

I wrap my legs around him more tightly, holding him in place. I want to make sure that I don’t waste a single drop.

I never usually like quickies. They are usually aimed more at my partner’s pleasure than my own. But with Blake, I really don’t mind, and this one in particular was more than a little fun. And in his defense, it is better to be safe than sorry.

Today is my last day at Blake’s. In fact, this is my last moment at Blake’s. Before we started this quickie, I was all ready to leave, and he was all ready to take me home. But as I was on my way to the door, he stated that he just had to have me one more time. And so I let him.

“I can’t believe you’re going,” he says as he pulls himself away from me. “What a week.”

“I know, right?” I agree as I pull my skirt back down and begin to fix my messed-up hair. “It’s weird, but it feels like I’ve been here for ages. At the same time, it feels like it’s been no time at all. Does that make any sense?”

“I know what you mean,” he says. “It will feel weird coming home and you not being here. But when I think about it, it feels like you only arrived yesterday.”

With his pants pulled up, he adjusts his belt and flattens his hair. “Shall we?” He asks, holding his hand out.

“We shall.”

I take his hand and allow him to help me to my feet. He leads me through the house and out the front door, keeping a firm grip on my hand the whole way. It’s odd, but I don’t want him to let go. In fact, I don’t even really want to leave. I’ve grown to like it here. And not just because of the house, either, but because of Blake.

I stand at the front door as Blake gets his car. I look over the garden and wonder when I will be coming back. A part of me does not want to go. He pulls up the car, and I climb in the front seat. Once I am in the car and I strap myself in, he takes off, hitting the main road and steering the car back to my apartment. Back to my old life.

“Promise that you will call me the moment you get the results,” he says, a hint of excitement in his voice.

“You know I will,” I say, smiling. “But don’t get too excited. This stuff doesn’t happen overnight.”

“How long do you think? I mean, I know you’re not an expert or anything, but you probably know more than me.”

“At least two weeks, I think. I’ll check before then, obviously, but I won’t be holding my breath.”

He groans. “I don’t think I can wait that long.”

I reach out and take his hand, giving it a squeeze. “Well, you have no choice. Until then, all you can do is hope you’re as fertile as you claim to be.”

He chuckles at this and lifts my hand to his mouth, kissing the back of it. “I am going to miss seeing you every day. Just so you know.”

“Yeah, me too. Seeing you every day, I mean. I know why we started doing this, but I haven’t regretted it. Not for a second.”

And that’s the truth. As he continues to navigate the car to my apartment, I can feel my stomach dropping. I don’t want the week to end. I don’t want to go home. I am sure that if Blake asked me to stay longer, I would say yes instantly.

But then I remind myself that I can’t do that. I’m battling with myself constantly on two fronts. The first is the fact that I’m really starting to like Blake. When it is all said and done, I thank my lucky stars every day that he chose me for this. The more I get to know him and the closer we get, the more I can feel myself falling for him.

But that only conflicts with my other problem, and that is my revenge. I love my sister, and I owe her everything. I vowed to her and to myself to take the baby and leave Blake in the cold when the time comes. I can’t break that promise, despite how much I want to.

Because I do want to. At least, I think I do. It’s all so confusing. I look at Blake’s face as he steers the car, and I smile. I can’t help myself. He makes me so happy, and I hate what I am going to do to him.

“Here we are,” he says.

I look out the window, and indeed, the car is parked out in front of my apartment.

“Home sweet home,” I say, sighing.

I try not to sound too depressed. I don’t want Blake knowing how upset I am. I may want to stay at his place, but that doesn’t mean he wants me staying there. Odds are that he’s glad I’m leaving.

“I’ll call you soon, okay?” He says. He picks up my hand and gives it another kiss.

“Okay, I’d like that,” I respond, offering him a weak smile. I reach out and open the car door, readying myself to get out.

“Hey,” he says.

I turn back to see what he wants. He reaches forward and runs his fingers through my hair. Pulling me forward, he kisses me goodbye on the lips. I return the kiss with full force.

There is no sexual passion in the kiss. No longing or desire. It’s a kiss shared between two lovers who are aware of what they are losing.

It’s sweet and tender, and it might be the best kiss that we have ever had. But, as soon as it begins, it is over. I hold my head there for a moment, relishing the taste of his lips on mine. I then realize what I am doing, smile awkwardly at him and climb from the car.

The car pulls away, and I make my way to my apartment. As I do, I again think about what I plan on doing to him. And worse than that, I can’t decide whether or not I will be able to. If someone asks me right now and right here, I would say that I can’t hurt him like that.

I realize that I love Blake too much.

Chapter 29

BLAKE

I don’t know why I am so nervous. I really shouldn’t be. I’ve known Carrie for a few weeks now. And more than that, I’ve lived with her, slept with her and spent hours talking to her. Yet, as I sit in my car, staring at her apartment, I just can’t bring myself to walk up and knock on the front door.

The reason is that she doesn’t know I am here. I haven’t spoken to her since dropping her off on Tuesday, and rather than call, I have decided to surprise her. We’ve texted back and forth, but I’ve been busy with my latest project. But now that I am at her apartment, ready to spring my surprise visit on her, I don’t know if I should.

I haven’t been able to get her out of my head. The last three days, she has been the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep. I think of her when I eat and when I shower. I think of her on the way to work and when I am actually at work. I can’t get her out of my head.

I’ve been telling myself that it’s because I am excited about the possible baby. And in truth, that is kind of correct. There is a small chance that she might be pregnant right now, and if that is true, then it will be the best news I have ever heard.

But my inability to stop thinking about her is more than that. It’s all Carrie.

Having her stay at my house was a great idea on my part. Not only did it mean that we were able to have as much sex as possible and increase the chances of having a child, but it also meant that I was able to get to know her on a deeper level.

And better than that even, everything I learned about her only made me like her more. We connected on so many levels, to the point that I felt closer to her than anyone previously. And I am sure she feels the same way.

So why can’t I get out of my car and walk to her front door?

I shake my head. I never used to be this way. I grip the handle to my car door, take a deep breath and climb from my car. As I walk to her front door, I try to think of a funny or clever line I can use on her. But I come up with nothing. I will have to wing it.

“Hey,” I say stupidly as she opens the door.

“Oh, hey!” She beams when she sees me. My heart does a tiny skip at her smile.

She looks beautiful. Stunning even. For a second, my voice gets caught in my throat. I have forgotten just how pretty she is. Those big eyes of hers. That gorgeous smile. Everything about her is out of this world.

“I was in the area and thought I would surprise you,” I say as I give my throat a clear. “And I also thought you might want to go out to dinner.”

“Dinner?” She asks, sounding surprised.

“Of course. What? You didn’t think I had forgotten you, did you?” I chuckle as I look her up and down. “How could I forget you?”

“Good point,” she says, nodding in agreement. “How silly of me to even think that. Well, do you want to come in? I’ll just get changed.”

She opens the door and I step inside. The first thing I notice is how different the place looks. Last time I was here, it was a mess, like a bomb had hit the place. Now, it has been totally transformed. Everything is so neat and tidy. It’s interesting to say the least.

“Did I tell you how stunning you look by the way? Even better than I remember.” I tell her as she rushes back and forth between her bedroom and bathroom.

“Shut up,” she chides. But even as she does, I catch her blushing. “So where are you taking me?”

“It’s up to you. I have a reservation at Las Rambles if you want. It’s that Portuguese place downtown. But I also made a reservation at the nearest McDonald’s, too. Not too sure what mood you were in.”

“Hmm, both sound tempting. But I’ve already had McDonald’s three times today.” She rubs her flat belly. “So, let’s go with the restaurant.”

“Great choice,” I chuckle. Just then, I feel a vibration in my pocket. Fuck. I pull out my phone to see Ben calling me. “Hello?” I answer.

I nod at Carrie and turn my back on her and head to the other side of the apartment.

“Blake! There he is. It’s been a few days and I was worried sick. Janet was, too. In fact, we all were here at the mansion. You left the barbecue early on Saturday and didn’t even call to say you made it home safe.”

“I’m trying this whole independence thing, Ben,” I respond. “And calling you every day goes against that concept. You’re just going to have to learn to trust me.”

“Really? Or are you just so blinded by love that you’ve cut everyone else out of your life?”

As if Carrie might be able to hear, I quickly cover the speaker of the phone with my hand.

“What?” I hiss into the phone. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m just kidding,” Ben says, chuckling at his own joke. “In all seriousness, I really liked her. She’s far better than any of the bimbos you usually date. Those women are more breasts than brains.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“No, seriously. I like her, and I can tell you do, too. So please, Blake, don’t do anything to mess this up.”

“Is this why you called me? Love advice?” I look back and see Carrie is in the bathroom, getting ready.

“No, the youngest is in the bathroom, and I have to hold his hand, literally. I am right now, so I thought I’d call to kill the time.”

“Well, thanks. Glad you thought of me.” Just then, I look up and see Carrie is back. She looks at me and sees me still on the phone. “I’ve got to go, Ben, okay? I’ll talk to you later.”

“You better. I want to hear all about the new love of your life!”

I hang up the phone before he can harass me any further. It’s paranoia, but I don’t want Carrie overhearing. I like Carrie, more than I care to admit. But I have no idea how she feels about me, and I don’t want to ruin that. For now, I need to play it cool.

“Ready to go?” I ask.

“I was born ready,” she says.

She walks across the room, and I take her hand. I then open the door and lead her outside, readying myself for what I am sure will be a good night.

Chapter 30

CARRIE

Dinner is amazing. Better than that, even. And not just the food, but the company in general.

Las Rambles is a very fancy, very expensive establishment. As Blake led me through it, I had to stop myself from gasping. I’ve been with Blake for a while now, and I still constantly forget just how wealthy he is. And more than that, how much he enjoys spoiling me.

The food arrives, and as we eat, he tells me how beautiful I am and how much he has missed having me around. I’m not sure if he is just saying this, or if he means it.

A part of me really hopes he means it because I have missed him dreadfully, too. Sure, the house is amazing, but it would be nothing without him. It’s his company I have missed, and I am so glad that he feels the same way.

As the dinner draws to a close, I feel myself getting sad. I don’t want the night to end. I’ve been so used to spending the night with Blake that the idea of him leaving actually makes my heart ache.

“What are your plans for the rest of the night?” I ask, trying my best to sound casual.

“No plans,” he says. He stares at me as he does, and I have to break his gaze as I feel myself blushing.

“Would you like to come back to my place? I have a bottle of wine that I can’t drink now. I’d hate for it to go to waste.”

“Sure thing,” he says with a smile.

It’s a poor excuse, but it has worked. I like him more than I want to admit. I just wish I knew how he feels about me.

***

I open my front door and lead Blake inside. I’m not as embarrassed as I was last week about having him come over. Last week, my place was a mess. It’s usually like that, but after having spent some time at Blake’s, I came to realize that I can’t live like that anymore. The first thing I did when I got home was clean. And now, I can’t believe how much better my place looks.

“Right, wine,” I say as I close the door behind Blake. “I’ll just grab that.”

“No, let me,” he says, walking past me and into the kitchen. “Where are the glasses?”

“In the top cabinet,” I say.

I move to the couch and fall into it, watching Blake the whole time. When I answered the door tonight, I had to work to not gasp. I always forget just how handsome he is, and three days away from him only worked to increase that attraction.

“Ah, a good year,” he jokes as he looks at the cheap bottle of wine.

I laugh to myself as he pours himself a glass. He is so in control and in charge, but at the same time considerate. I saw him in a different light when he was playing with Simon. He was gentle and kind then. I think Blake will make a great father and be an even better role model.

With a glass of wine in hand, Blake falls next to me on the couch. He takes a sip, holding eye contact with me the whole time. I feel my whole body flush. Even now, I am still a little nervous around him.

“I’m glad you came out to dinner,” he says seriously.

“Yeah, me too.”

“I’ve missed having you around.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“I’ve missed sleeping with you,” he says.

“Yeah, me too—”

He leans forward and kisses me. I kiss him back, and for a moment, the two of us are locked together. I suddenly question his motivation and pull back.

“Wait a minute. I thought we were only doing this for a baby?”

“So?” He asks, keeping his eyes on me. They bore into me, devouring me.

“Well, haven’t we finished that? I mean, isn’t that what last week was for?”

I don’t know why I am even asking. It’s a reflex, if nothing else.

“I don’t know about you, Carrie, but I had a good time sleeping with you. And whether you are pregnant or not, I want to keep doing it. I want to keep seeing you.”

I don’t know what to say. Is that an admission of how he feels about me? Or is it him telling me that he just enjoys the sex?

He smiles, clearly enjoying how nervous I am. He leans forward and kisses me again, and this time I don’t stop.

It feels odd kissing him this time. Usually, when we kiss, it is with a purpose in mind, which is having a baby. But this time, it isn’t hinted at. This time, we both know getting me pregnant is not the reason we are doing this. It’s because we both want to, because we are both attracted to one another, and because we both have feelings for one another.

The kissing becomes deeper, more tender. I climb on top of Blake, and he grips his hands around my waist. Usually, when we have sex, it is all fire and heat. He usually tears my clothes off and lets me have it – hard.

This time it is soft. Romantic even.

He slowly removes my blouse, kissing softly down my neck. He gently slides my skirt off me. He unhooks my bra and moves to kiss my breasts, soft and tenderly.

The whole time, I move my hips back and forth over him. I don’t do it as vigorously as I usually do, and I don’t do it with as much force. It’s a natural movement. A passionate one. It’s making love, not having sex.

I don’t want to taste him in my mouth. And I don’t want to sit on his face. I want him to be inside of me. I want to feel his girth fill me up. I want him to be a part of me, even if it is only for a moment.

I lift up my body, allowing for him to slide his pants and boxers off. He is already hard. His big, fat erection sticks straight up. Usually, I would tease him. Usually, I would play with it, dance around it, and make it seem as if I weren’t going to sit on it. But I don’t do that this time.

I climb on Blake. He wraps his hands around my waist, and he guides me onto him. As he slides inside of me, I moan softly. I tilt my head back, and he kisses my neck. It feels so good, even better than when he’s rough with me.

Once he is inside of me, I begin to move on him. I move slowly, rhythmically. I’m not bouncing up and down as I usually do, but instead, I listen to his breathing and feel his heartbeat. I move to the rhythm of his body. The two of us kiss as I do, and he massages my breasts. It feels incredible and is better than any other time the two of us have had sex.

As the two of us come, we kiss in the moment of climax. We don’t scream or moan together, but lock lips and savor each other’s company. I am so happy that this is the man I am having a baby with. But more than that, I am sure now that he likes me as much as I like him. And after tonight, after this, I like him more than ever.

Chapter 31

BLAKE

As I hold the phone to my ear and listen to the ring, I quickly work out in my head what I am going to say. Well, I am trying to anyway, but I am failing miserably at it. The phone call is to Carrie and the reason for calling her seems to change every few seconds.

I want to see her again. I haven’t seen her since Tuesday, when we had that incredible sex. No. Calling it sex is degrading to what it was. It was more akin to making love than anything else.

It was passionate and personal on every level. There was no raw emotion like usual, but love and a connection, the likes of which, I have never felt before. And I am sure that she feels the same way.

Since that night, we have communicated only via texting, but that just isn’t enough. I want to hear her voice, and I want to see her. Not even to have sex again, but to be in her company.

“Blake? Hi!” She answers. Her voice is higher pitched than usual, and she sounds happy to be hearing from me.

“Hey,” I say, “How are you?” Shaking my head, I fall backward on my bed. Well, not my bed. I’m not actually at my house right now, but in a hotel room.

“I’m good,” she says. “How are you?”

“Good,” I say back. There’s a pause, and I can feel the tension mounting. I’m the one who called her, so I need to speak. Only, I don’t know what to say. “I was wondering what you are doing later?”

“I have to work,” she says, sounding dejected. “There’s a catering job I promised my boss I would cover.”

“You don’t sound too enthused,” I say, feeling myself perk up.

“Well, that’s because I’m not,” she says, laughing.

“So call in sick,” I say quickly “Come and see me instead.”

“See you?” She asks, sounding surprised.

“Yeah, I want to talk about some baby stuff. I have some things I need to go over with you that I don’t think I can do on the phone.”

It’s a lie and a pretty stupid one at that. But I find that I’m nervous to tell her the truth.

“Oh,” she says. “Well, I suppose I can call in sick.”

“Is that okay?”

“Yeah. I can do that,” she says, sounding a little more sure of herself. “As long as you show me a good time. It can’t be all business.”

“Fine.” I sigh in an exaggerated fashion. “I suppose I can take you out after.”

I do my best to sound as if it’s the last thing I want, although really, my heart is thumping inside my chest.

***

Once again, I have to work to not gape openly when I see her. I’m sitting in the café that we agreed to meet at. As she walks across the floor to me, she looks gorgeous. She wears a yellow Sunday dress that flows around her body. It also plunges at her chest, showing just the right amount of skin. I wonder how I got so lucky.

“Hey!” I beam as she reaches me.

“Hey.” She leans forward and goes to hug me. Instead, I put my hand on her back and pull her in for a kiss. She accepts willingly, looking a little surprised by the change, but not at all upset. “Did you miss me?”

“Maybe just a little,” I joke.

“So, what do you have in store for tonight? And do you think it can top last time?”

“Do you think that’s possible?” I ask with a smirk. I know I had a great time, and I’m certain that she did, too.

“Good point. How about we aim for something close to that? Topping it might be an impossibility.”

“I mean, I’m willing to try. But I’m also a realist.”

She smiles warmly at me, only confirming what I know to be true. She is falling for me as hard as I am for her. “Say, Blake, I’m surprised that you are here already. I thought I’d beat you easily. What? Were you already in the area?”

“Not exactly,” I say, looking away from her for the first time since she entered the café.

My reason for being here is linked to my reason for having a hotel room booked. I had hoped that she might not ask. I don’t know how she will take it.

“Okay, so are you going to tell me or do I need to guess? I’m open to either.”

“Fine,” I relent. “I rented a hotel room close by. There.”

“What? Why?”

“Because,” I say before pausing. I shake my head, suddenly feeling foolish. “You have to promise not to laugh, but it’s because my house is a little too far away from yours, and I want to be closer to you, in case anything happens with the pregnancy. I don’t like the idea of having to drive for thirty minutes to be with you.”

I am not usually like this. I’m embarrassed by the sentiment, and it is silly of me. And for a moment, I worry that she is going to think the same thing. But, to my surprise, she reaches across the table and takes my hand. And only when I look at her does she kiss the back of it.

“Thank you,” she says and she looks a bit like she has tears in her eyes. And she kisses the back of my hand again.

Chapter 32

CARRIE

The two of us are having a simple dinner. It’s at an old restaurant, not too far from where Blake and I met at his high-school reunion. The restaurant looks like the kind of place that has been around for longer than the two of us have been alive. They mostly serve burgers and ribs, and the only drink options are beer and water.

“My friends and I used to come here every Friday night,” Blake explains as he leads me to our table. The tables are all old plastic sets which, again, look older than either both our ages put together. “It wasn’t quite as run down then.”

“No, it’s quaint,” I say optimistically, wondering why in the hell he has brought me here. I’m not a snob, but it is an odd choice of location.

“I was thinking. You’ve really only seen me from one side. The rich, arrogant side. I wanted to show you where I came from. If you’re going to be having my child, I figure you deserve that.”

Now I understand. It’s not the restaurant that he wants to show me, but himself. I always forget that, like me, he had a difficult upbringing and is actually a down-to-earth kind of guy. This is further proven when the waiter comes out and recognizes Blake. They talk like old friends, and the waiter snatches the menu away, stating that he is going to have the kitchen make us something special.

It’s a side of Blake that I have never seen, and one that I like just as much as the other. Maybe tonight will be even better than the previous date?

***

“And where is this?” I ask as Blake leads me across the empty parking lot. “Your old make-out spot?”

We’re only a few minutes’ drive from the restaurant, along the coast. I guess it’s the parking lot to a beach, one long abandoned.

“It’s where my friends and I used to hang out on weekends, before the place became rundown and forgotten.”

He still has a hold of my hand, and as we crest the parking lot, the smell of salt water wafts through my nostrils. The sound of waves lapping at the shore also appears as if from nowhere. As I look down, I spot the coastline.

“So, I was right,” I chime in. “It is your old make-out spot.”

“Only sometimes, I had a lot of spots to choose from,” he jokes. “Now come on.”

He lets go of my hand and sprints down the old wooden steps and onto the beach. I laugh at how enthusiastic he is, and I follow.

The sand is coarse on my feet, but I love the feeling. I follow him along the beach to the water’s edge, where he has stopped. He stares out across the water, and the moonlight bathes itself over him. He turns and waves me over.

“I can’t believe how long it has been since I was here last,” he says as I walk to his side. I reach him and take his hand in mine. “It’s got to have been more than fifteen years now.”

“What?” I ask, surprised. “Why so long?”

He pauses for a moment and looks back out across the water. There is a look in his eyes that I don’t recognize. Is it pain?

“The last time I was here was with my high-school sweetheart. And that was also the time she broke up with me.”

“Oh,” I say simply, surprised by the admission.

“Yeah. I thought we were in love. You know how it is in high school? But she dumped me and then I never saw her again.”

“And you never tried to see her again?” I ask.

I don’t know why I ask that. I know that he didn’t and I know that his story is a lie.

“No, she is dead.” He sounds remorseful as he speaks, and for a second, I almost believe him. “It happened a few months ago. I couldn’t believe it when I heard a few weeks later. I always saw her as the one who got away, and a part of me always thought I would see her again. But now… I’m sorry. You probably don’t want to hear any of this.”

He’s right. I don’t. In fact, it actually makes me a little angry, and I can feel myself starting to run hot. How dare he say such things, pinning it on my sister? And how dare he act now like he was the one who was the victim? After what he did?

I have to work to control my anger. I can feel it bubbling up inside of me.

“That’s too bad,” I say coldly as I look out across the water. I don’t look at his face. If I do, he will probably see the anger etched across it.

“Yeah, it is,” he agrees. “But no matter. I have you now.” He still has my hand, and he lifts it up and kisses the back of it. I seethe. “Is everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” I say pleasantly, trying my best to not let him know how I am feeling.

Even I don’t really know how I am feeling. Angry, yes. But also confused. It’s a fight between my loyalty to my sister and my feelings for Blake. Until recently, I could almost lie to myself and say that the two hadn’t dated, and I was mistaken. But now that he has said it openly to me, I can ignore it no longer. And I have no idea how to feel.

I am bad company the rest of the night. Blake does most of the talking, and I smile and nod. A few times, he tries to kiss me, but I make some sort of excuse as to why he can’t. I swat away at a fly or pretend to sneeze.

When the awkwardness becomes too much, he suggests that he take me home, and I agree. I don’t want to stay in his company any longer tonight. Not until I have a chance to think over everything.

The car pulls up in front of my apartment, and I can feel the tension. He turns off the car and turns to look at me. I try my best to avoid his eyes.

“Well, good night,” he says, and he leans in to kiss me.

“Goodnight,” I say hurriedly, and instead I reach for the door handle, pop it open and jump out before he has a chance to say or do anything.

I need to be away from him. I need time to think. I don’t know what I should be feeling, but I do know that it isn’t good. I just hope that tomorrow, everything will be clearer. But as I walk to my front door, open it and enter my lonely, empty apartment, I realize that isn’t going to be the case.

Chapter 33

BLAKE

I stare at my phone and wonder if I should call.

I have not spoken to Carrie all week. Not since our date last Saturday. The date itself started off great. The idea was to show her a different side of me, one who isn’t this rich guy. And I was sure that it was working. She seemed to be having a great time.

Then it all went to hell.

I still can’t bring myself to call.

I have spent the whole week going over that night in my head, trying to decipher what went wrong, but I just can’t figure it out. Did I say something, do something? Did I not do something?

One minute, we were laughing and having a good time, and the next, she was cold as ice. I think of that look she gave me as she got out of my car. It was a look of hate.

I hope that is in the past, though. I have spent the week convincing myself that she was just in a mood or upset over something else. Consequently, I have spent the week avoiding contact, letting her cool down.

But today is an important day, and I have no choice but to see her.

Today is the first day that she is potentially able to take the pregnancy test. Usually, it doesn’t happen this fast, but I made a few phone calls and got a hold of a very expensive, off-the-market test. The two of us were going to do it together.

We had spoken about it often, but that was before last week. Now that I haven’t heard from her, I can only assume that she hasn’t taken the test yet and is waiting for me. If she even expects me to be coming over at all.

The phone is still in my hand. I sigh to myself and put it in my pocket. I’m not going to call her. That is too impersonal.

I stand up from the edge of my bed, and I make my way through the hotel room to the front door. I am going to see her instead. Face to face. I just hope that by now, she has cooled off.

***

Today, her apartment looks even more run down. I’ve been sitting in the car, watching it for the last five minutes. By my side, I have a bouquet of flowers, coffee and donuts.

I was going to get her chocolate cake, but I thought that might have been a little too obvious. A little too manipulative. Instead, I have settled for a different treat. Really, I am just trying to ensure that she is in a good mood.

Taking a deep breath, I reach for the door handle, pop it open and climb from the car. The walk to her front door feels like it takes forever. It’s only a short walk, but with every step, I remember that look on her face, and I shake my head as if trying to dislodge the memory.

Reaching the door, I knock twice. Two hard and firm knocks. I can hear movement from inside. I brace myself as the door opens.

“Oh, hey,” Carrie says with a half-smile.

“Hey,” I respond. “I brought you these.” I hold out the flowers, coffee and donuts.

“Wow, thanks. You didn’t have to.” Her voice isn’t as cold as it was the other night, but it isn’t as warm as it used to be, either. There is definitely some tension here. I can feel it.

“I wanted to,” I assure her. “May I come in?”

“Oh, right.” She shakes her head and steps to the side. I walk into the apartment, feeling slightly better about the situation.

“So, today is the day,” I say as I make my way to the kitchen. Reaching it, I put the coffee and donuts down on the counter and begin to search through the cabinets for a vase. “Do you have anything for the flowers?”

“I doubt it,” she calls to me. She’s in the bed area, doing God knows what. Usually, I wouldn’t give it a second thought, but today, it feels like she is avoiding me on purpose.

“Well, I’ll have to buy you a vase, too,” I say with a smile.

She isn’t looking at me and, therefore, does not see it.

“You really don’t have to do that. But hey, I’m surprised that you remembered today.”

She walks from her bed to the kitchen area. She scoops up the coffee, which she takes a long, satisfied sip from.

“Really?” I ask with a frown. “How could I forget? It’s a pretty big deal. You haven’t, you know. You haven’t tried yet have you?”

“You actually got here just in time,” she says, offering me a weak smile. “I was going to. I wasn’t sure if you were coming around, and we haven’t spoken, so…”

The tension in the room mounts as she makes the first reference to the other night on the beach. I feel as if she wants to talk about it. And I do too. Well, kind of. I want to know why she got so angry, but I’m also afraid I won’t like the answer. So instead, I deflect.

“And it isn’t too early?” I ask. “The test will be accurate?”

“According to the packet,” she says, and she looks relieved at my change in the topic. “I mean, you’re the one who bought them, but the packet says it’s ninety-six percent accurate, six days before a missed period. Well, yeah, it should work.”

“Good,” I say, nodding my head to myself. “So, shall we? I mean, shall you?”

“Sure,” she says, smiling awkwardly. She turns and heads to the bathroom.

When she does, I stumble to the couch and fall into it. I can’t believe how awkward this is now. Up until the previous week, the two of us were getting along so great. The idea of having a baby together seemed the most natural thing in the world.

Now, it feels as if I am doing it with a total stranger. I just hope that once she takes the test, and if it is positive, we can move on and forget that the whole thing ever happened. I just want it to be like it was before.

But there is nothing I can do now. I sit on the couch, and I stare at the closed bathroom door. I hold my breath and wait.

Chapter 34

CARRIE

The bathroom has a cold, isolating feel to it. I walk to the toilet and pull the test from its box. As I do, the four walls seem to close in around me. The seriousness of the situation and everything that I have been doing the past few weeks is suddenly beginning to feel very real. But oddly enough, it’s still better than being out in that room with Blake.

The worst thing is that it isn’t even his fault. Not really. I mean, yes, what he did to Lyndsey was his fault. The way she told me about it, how he dumped her without a second thought. He didn’t care.

Before I met Blake, I had a totally different picture in my head of what he would look like. And what he would be like. So now that I know who he really is, my emotions are conflicted.

I have felt awful all week. The way I treated him on our date wasn’t fair. I know it wasn’t. I treated him like some sort of evil entity, without even letting him know why. No wonder he hasn’t spoken to me all week. In fact, I didn’t even think he was going to come over today. Maybe a phone call or a brief text and that would be it.

But he has come over. And with gifts, too. It’s so incredibly sweet of him. Ever since I have known him, he has been nothing but kind and caring. It’s because of this, that I don’t know what to think. I can’t imagine that Lyndsey was lying, but I also can’t imagine that Blake would do what she said he did.

I look down at the test in my hands. I’m sitting on the toilet, my pants down, ready to take the final leap. With a deep breath, I stick it between my legs and pee.

As I am doing this, I’m wondering what I should do about Blake. I think I will do my best to pretend that I don’t know the things I know. At least, until the baby is born. If I am going to do this, and be with him for the next nine months, I need to be civil. I need to help melt away the tension that has risen between the two of us. Even in the bathroom now, I can feel it, emanating through the door.

I stand from the toilet and still hold the test in my hands. It is going to take two minutes to activate and give me a reading. I can’t stand here for two minutes, though. That is going to be agony.

What I will do instead is go outside, take Blake’s hand in mine, and wait with him. It is time to start repairing the damage. For the sake of the unborn baby, if nothing else.

I put the test down on the counter, flush the toilet and wash my hands. I take a deep breath and open the bathroom door.

“What did it say?” Blake asks, the moment that I step into the room.

“Nothing yet. It’s going to take two minutes. I’ll check it then.” I walk to his side, take his hand in mine and sit down on the couch. He falls in beside me.

It’s funny, but I can already feel the tension melting away. We sit in silence, neither of us saying anything. But it doesn’t feel like there is a need to speak. I hold his hand, stroking it with my thumb. He reaches across and clasps my hand in both of his. I look up at him, and he at me. We both smile at one another.

The last week has been agony, and when Blake arrived at my house only a few minutes ago, it was incredibly awkward. But sitting here now, holding his hand in mine, I feel all that fade away. It’s as if we have both suddenly remembered why we are here.

“So,” he says after some time. “Has it been two minutes?”

“It has,” I say simply.

I pull my hand from his. He releases it, albeit with some hesitation. I stand from the couch and slowly walk to the bathroom. The short walk feels like it is taking a long time. Every step is slow and precise, as if I am walking a tightrope.

I can see the test, sitting on the counter. It seems to be calling me, taunting me even. I reach out for it, and as I do, it’s as if the room extends in length, and the test moves away from me. I shake my head, clearing my thoughts as I clasp it in my hand.

Taking a deep breath, I look down at the tiny test in my hands. There are two blue plus signs, as clear as day. It takes a second for the realization of what this means to sink in. I stare down at the positive reading, silent.

“Well?” Blake asks from the other room. His voice is gentle and nervous. He is probably even more nervous than I am.

I turn around. He is standing there in the living area, with his arms crossed. I hold the test up to show him. Of course, he can’t see a thing from that distance.

“It’s positive,” I say, my voice cracking a little. “We’re pregnant.”

If us holding hands earlier helped relieve the tension, my announcement all but banished it from the room. Blake stares at me for a second as the news washes over him.

“What? Are you serious?” He reaches me, wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting me in the air. “Oh my God! We’re pregnant! I’m going to be…”

“You’re going to be a father,” I say.

He spins me around in his arms, laughing as he does. I laugh, too. I laugh so hard that I am almost crying.

“And you’re going to be a mother,” he says, dropping me to me feet. He has tears in his eyes, but I can barely see them as the tears in my eyes are so thick and come so quickly that everything is a blur.

Without even thinking, without even caring, I lean forward and kiss him. And he kisses me back. It’s a tender, joyous moment. It’s a personal moment. It’s one, that right then, I would not want to be sharing with anyone else.

Despite all that has happened over the past week and how I felt about Blake up until this morning, right now, none of that matters. Right now, I only care about one thing, and that is that I am having a baby.

Chapter 35

BLAKE

I can’t believe it. I seriously can’t. Even as I stare down at the test for what I think is the tenth time at least, I am still in total awe.

Honestly, I still have the test in my hand. I am still looking at it. Those two plus symbols are right in my face, and all I can do is gawk. Even Carrie, who still has her arms wrapped around me, is an afterthought at the moment. I am just so damn happy.

“So, should we celebrate?” Carrie asks. “I would suggest Champagne but that seems inappropriate.”

She leans over my shoulder and looks down at the test in my hand.

It’s incredible the effect that good news can have on somebody. Up until five minutes ago, I was seriously doubting if I had made the right choice with Carrie. Sure, everything leading up to the previous few days was perfect in almost every way, but her sudden flip in attitude and the tension between us all but canceled that out.

But from the moment she came out of the bathroom, all that began to change. And now, it seems as if it had never happened at all.

She is smiling, she is happy and she is jokey. I am, too. There is zero tension, and again, I am glad that I chose her to do this with.

“How about we just have some breakfast instead?” I suggest. “I’ve been told those donuts are pretty special in their own right.”

“Sounds good to me,” she says.

As she does, she kisses me on the neck and takes her hands off my waist. The kiss was warm and natural. The last few days were a bad dream and nothing more. I am now lucky enough to be living in the reality.

I watch her stroll around to the kitchen, and I can’t believe how pretty she looks. Her cheeks seem to be glowing, most likely from the tears and her eyes are a bloodshot red. Yet, she is still perfect in every way. I can only imagine how amazing she will look when she is showing. Beautiful, I am sure.

She reaches for the coffee, and I suddenly remember something.

“Wait!” I say, a little too loudly.

“What?” She asks, looking at me in a panic. “What’s wrong?”

“The coffee,” I say, and I nod to the cup she holds in her hands. “Are you allowed to drink that? Isn’t caffeine bad for the baby? Actually, it was idiotic for me to even bring it over here in the first place.”

“That’s not true,” she scoffs, and again, she goes to drink the coffee.

“Are you sure?” I ask.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“That’s not sure,” I say.

“Hmm,” she says, biting her lip. “It’s a shame we live in 1987 and not 2017. Otherwise we could go online and – oh, wait a minute, this is 2017!” She speaks in a dramatic fashion.

She puts down the coffee. I watch as she rushes from the kitchen.

“What are you doing?”

“Laptop,” she yells back. She returns with a laptop already open. She types away for a few seconds, her eyes skimming down the screen.

“There,” she says with a smile, and she turns the laptop to face me. “Told you.”

I read the screen quickly. And then slowly. According to the site she is using, pregnant women are allowed to have up to a hundred milligrams of coffee a day. It’s not a lot, but it’s more than would be in that coffee I brought her.

“Fine,” I relent. “But just the one.”

“Gee, I can’t have any fun.” She smirks as she picks up the coffee and takes a sip. “It makes me think, actually, that neither of us knows anywhere near enough about this whole pregnancy thing. It’s all happened kind of fast.”

“I know,” I agree. “But we have time to learn.”

“We do. But what if we make a mistake before that? One that we should have caught early.”

“What are you suggesting?” I ask, not able to read the look in her eye.

***

Carrie holds my hand as she leads me through the busy bookstore. I look around the store, surprised by how busy it is. I wasn’t even aware that bookstores were still a thing.

It is Carrie who made the suggestion that we do some of our own research. And it is also she who thinks that we should buy actual, physical books. And not just one book, but many. And two copies of each. Now that it is official and we are pregnant, she plans to be the best pregnant woman of all time, or at least, that is how she tells it.

“Baby books, baby books,” she mutters to herself as we walk deeper and deeper into the store. Finally, she pulls up, releasing my hand as she turns on the very last shelf in the store.

“Is this them?” I ask.

I am nowhere near as enthused as she is, truth be told. I knew that being a father would be hard work, but I didn’t think that work would start so quickly. I really don’t like the idea of spending the next few weeks devouring all these books.

“Yep. There’s a bit of a selection so obviously we can’t…” She trails off as her eyes begin to wander through the titles.

I watch her for a second before I to turn to the shelf. I look up and down the stacks, vaguely reading the titles. They all sound kind of the same to me. The one right in front of my face reads The Nine Best Things to Know about Being Pregnant, while the one right next to that reads All The Things You Need to Know about Being Pregnant.

“I am out of my element,” I say.

I really am. The two books sound exactly the same, and as I look over the others, they are all in the same vein.

Luckily, Carrie looks as if she knows what she is doing. She reaches forward, pulling out two identical books. She hands them to me, and I take them. Before I have a chance to read the titles, she hands me two more, and two more after that.

“Do we really need all these?” I ask as she hands me more and more.

“You can’t be too prepared,” she says enthusiastically.

I smile down at her. Her enthusiasm is infectious. Although I was a little hesitant about all this homework, her eagerness for it has very quickly changed my mind. I am starting to warm to the idea of it. Being a father isn’t just about raising a child once they are born. But about everything before that as well.

“You’re totally right,” I say. “The more the merrier.”

“Really?” She asks in surprise.

“Of course. Now, where is the counter? Let’s buy these so we can start right away.”

She pauses and looks up at me. I can see that she is trying to decide if I am being serious or sarcastic. She sees how serious I am, she smiles, stands on her tiptoes, and kisses me on the lips. We are in this together, and I am now beyond excited about the process. All of it.

Chapter 36

CARRIE

I am so happy. The last few days have been a dream. No, not even a dream, for I have never had dreams that even come close to matching what I am feeling right now.

Blake is leading me through the lobby of his hotel and to his car, parked out front. He is doing this, not because he is taking me back to my place after what has been an amazing weekend, but because he is taking me back to his own house.

We spent the weekend together. Saturday night was spent at my apartment. We made love all night. It was deep and passionate and the best sex we ever had. Then on Sunday, he asked me to stay at his hotel with him. I said yes. Again, we made love, and again, it was beyond incredible.

This morning, when we woke up, he asked me if I wanted to stay at his place for the remainder of the pregnancy. I didn’t even hesitate in saying yes. Why would I?

“You’re going to love the next nine months,” he says as he opens the car door for me. I slide into the passenger seat and smile as I watch him walk around the car and jump in. “Seriously, if you thought that one week you stayed with me was special, you haven’t seen anything yet.”

“Oh, yeah?” I laugh. I love his boyish enthusiasm. “And why is that?”

“Just ‘cause,” he says with a wink. He turns on the car, switches into first, and takes off down the road toward his house. No, toward our house.

“Wait,” I suddenly yell, grabbing his arm. “The books? I didn’t see you pack the baby books.”

“I did last night while you slept,” he says reassuringly. He reaches out and strokes my leg. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to forget those.”

Blake has been incredible with the books. When I first suggested that we buy them, he seemed less than enthused. But then, he did a full one-eighty and has now read more than me. Every day, I have caught him reading, and even before we fall asleep, he devours a few chapters. Seriously, his enthusiasm is beyond anything I expected.

It’s because of this that I know he is going to be an incredible father. I think at first, he thought that his job was done until the baby came. But now that he has realized that it’s only just beginning, he is attacking it with gusto. I can’t keep up.

“You really are something else,” I say. I look at him, catch his eyes, and smile warmly. He smiles back.

“So are you.”

I don’t know what I am going to do now. Last week, it seemed so simple. Have the baby, take it with me and never talk to Blake again. Done and done. But now, I don’t think I can. I don’t even think I want to. He keeps proving himself to me. He keeps showing me that he is in this for the long haul, and that he is going to be a great father. And I know that he is going to be.

I tell myself each night that soon he will mess up and make a mistake. That this will make it easy for me to say goodbye and not feel guilty. But I watch his face and that smile as he drives the car home, and I just don’t know anymore. I am starting to believe that he didn’t do what Lyndsey said.

“Here we are,” he says as the car turns onto his driveway. “Home sweet home.”

I can only smile as I look up at the house that is now my own. It’s incredible that I will be living here. I still cannot believe it.

We walk through the front door, and his housekeeper, Christina, greets us warmly, as she has every time I have come over before. Without thinking, I begin to make my way to the spare bedroom. This is where my things were kept last time, so I just assume it is the same.

“Hey, where are you going?” Blake asks. He watches me with a grin. “You’re not staying in there.”

“I’m not?”

“What? No. You’re in my bedroom with me. It’s your bedroom, after all. I’ve even already made room for your things.”

I beam at him, walk across the living room, and wrap him in my arms. “Incredible,” I say.

“Me or the house?”

“Hmm, let me think about that.”

He laughs and kisses me on the forehead. He takes my hand and leads me to our bedroom.

“Oh, and I’ve made a list of doctors in the area, too. It’s time that we found one, and I want it to be one you feel comfortable with. So, you have a choice.”

“You want me to go to more than one?” I ask, surprised. I know that’s what some people do. Well, a certain type of person. A rich person, but that isn’t me.

“Well, yeah. So you can find one you’re comfortable with. Trust me. They aren’t all the same. At least, that’s what I read. Is that a problem?”

“It’s just, how am I going to afford it?”

“You’re not serious, are you?” He turns on me and takes both my hands in his. “Listen, while you are here, you don’t have to worry about anything. Bills are paid for. Food is paid for. Everything baby-related is paid for. All you have to worry about is being as comfortable as you can, for both your sake and the baby’s sake. Oh, and your writing. I figure that you’ll have plenty of time for that now.”

I stare at him in total disbelief. I am speechless. I knew that he was going to be looking after a lot of the bills, but it hadn’t occurred to me that everything will be covered. And the fact that he has also thought about my writing, factoring that into everything. So thoughtful.

My face hurts from smiling. I can feel tears forming in my eyes and blink them away. I don’t want to cry, not right now. I want the moment to be nothing but joyous. I wrap my arms around his waist and hold him tight. He kisses me on the forehead.

“Welcome home,” he whispers.

“Thank you,” I say back, and I kiss him again. For a moment, the two of us stay where we are, wrapped in each other’s arms. Of all the moments we have spent together, this one is by far the most perfect. And the funny thing is, I know there are more to come.

Chapter 37

BLAKE

When I first started doing this with Carrie, I envisioned her as the woman who was going to have my baby and nothing more. I thought that maybe I would develop some sort of feelings for her. Sexual feelings, if nothing else. But I never dreamed I would feel for her the way I do now.

“Should I throw this out or keep it?” Carrie asks.

I look up at her and see that she is holding a hideous canary yellow dress in her hand.

“Burn it. Then throw the ashes out, and then destroy the garbage can you threw it into.”

She laughs and tosses the dress into a large trashcan sitting in the middle of her apartment.

I’m at her place right now, helping her to pack her things. Once I suggested that she come live with me, I decided that would not be enough. If she is going to be living with me, she is going to need to make the house feel as much like home as possible. I have, therefore, also suggested that she move some of her things in as well.

“And this?” She asks, holding up a dress of a similar ilk.

“New rule,” I say. “If you have to ask, the answer is going to be a no.”

I didn’t want a wife. That was never the plan. I want a child. But lately Carrie has begun to transform before my eyes. Or perhaps she has been transforming me. Although I don’t see myself as marrying her anytime soon, I do see myself as being with her.

Once we have this baby, I would be surprised if I want her to leave. I can’t tell her this, though. For all I know, she has no desire to live with me once it is done. For all I know, it is still about the money for her.

“Do your chefs mind, by the way?” She asks suddenly.

My head is buried in a cabinet, and I pull it out, turning to look at her.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, that they are cooking for three now?” She rubs her belly.

I laugh. “I think they are okay with it. The third member doesn’t eat too much yet, anyway.”

“For now,” Carrie agrees. “But I already feel myself getting hungrier every day. I predict I’ll be twice this size soon.”

“And you’ll look just as beautiful as you do now,” I say and give her a warm smile as I do.

I feel myself falling for her more every day. And although I am not fully sure how she feels about me, I am almost certain that she is feeling close to what I am. I want to ask her. But as I open my mouth, each time, I balk and change the topic. I am content now to live in ignorant bliss. She is moving in with me, and right now, that is all that matters.

“So, how are you going to go about telling your friends?” She asks.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, it’s an odd conversation to have. Do you think they will care? They’ll think it’s odd, at the very least.”

“Honestly,” I say. I look into her eyes and make sure she is looking into mine. “I don’t care. Nothing they say or do will convince me this wasn’t the best decision I ever made.”

“We ever made,” she corrects.

“What about your friends?” I ask. “Same thing?”

“Yeah, same thing. I mean, Amy doesn’t care. She’s weird enough. And my few other friends, I could not care less about their opinions. Like you said, nothing they say will make a difference.”

And that is the truth, too. When I first started doing this, I was terrified of what friends would say. I was too scared to even leave Ben and Carrie alone for God’s sake. But now, it doesn’t bother me. When I see Ben, I will tell him outright what I am doing and why. If he doesn’t like it, so what? I like it. Carrie likes it. That is all that matters.

“And you’re sure you don’t mind?” She asks.

I look up from what I am doing. Carrie has stopped packing and is standing in the middle of the living room, looking at me. She looks worried. Her shoulders are slumped, and she is frowning at me.

“Worried about what?” I ask, confused by her sudden change in disposition.

“That I am moving in with you? I mean, I know it’s a big deal.”

“Hey,” I say. I’m in her kitchen, holding a handful of cutlery which I quickly put down. I walk straight to her, keeping my eyes fixed firmly on her. I reach her, and as I do, I take both her hands in mine. “You know how I feel about you moving in.”

“Do I?” She asks, still frowning.

“Yes. I could not be happier. Truly. You see this as imposing yourself on me. I see it as a way to keep you and our baby in my life and as close to me as possible. If you weren’t moving into my house, I would move into here. I have never been happier, okay?”

“Okay,” she says, that warm smile returning to her face. “Just checking.”

“I know you were.” I lean down and kiss her on the nose.

We finish packing. It takes another hour or so. She isn’t breaking the lease or anything like that. She just isn’t living in the apartment for a while. So, everything that she is bringing fits easily into a few boxes.

I scoop the boxes into my arms and lead the way through the front door and down to my car. I turn and watch as she closes the door behind her, locking it up. She won’t be coming back for a while.

I watch her make her way to me, now smiling permanently. I, again, have to pinch myself. I am having a child. I am having a baby with a beautiful woman who I can feel myself falling in love with. She is moving in with me, and I can’t, for the life of me, see how anything can go wrong. From here on out, it is all going to be smooth sailing.

Chapter 38

CARRIE

Blake helped me move earlier in the day, but he had to go to work after. I hate that he has to work so much. I don’t want to be selfish, but a part of me kind of wishes that he would quit his job so that he could stay with me all day. But I know that is unrealistic. He is, after all, a busy film producer. But even still, I miss him.

It’s only been a few hours since I last saw him, and I can’t stop looking at the clock, hoping that time has passed so that he will be closer to coming home. I’m at my laptop, and I should be working, but as I go to type, I stop, look at the clock, and sigh to myself.

The book is coming along pretty well now. Skimming through what I have written, I am surprised with how much is there and how good it is. I wish I could add to it, and usually, I would be able to, no problem, but today is different. Today, my mind is awash with thoughts of Blake.

I push myself from my laptop and walk to the kitchen. I’m getting a little hungry, and I hope that there are some snacks in the house. I’m sure that this early on, it’s just my imagination, but I feel like I can feel the baby inside of me. And I feel like he is hungry.

I’m in the habit now of referring to the baby as a boy. We both are. Not only will Blake make a great father if it is a boy, but he’ll be just as great with a daughter.

I walk through the house, taking note of how big and empty the place is. When Blake is here, it feels so welcoming and full of life. But when he is not here, it feels as it does now, cold and empty. In truth, I am bored and in need of a little company.

I smile as I suddenly realize what I can do to remedy this situation. I haven’t spoken to Amy in ages, and I quickly reach into my pocket and pull out my cell. I dial the number, feeling a little too excited at the prospect of talking to my best friend.

“What up, girl,” she says as she answers the phone. “Long time. I thought that maybe you had forgotten about me. Or maybe you had gotten a new best friend? That’s it, isn’t it? This is a break-up call!”

“How did you know?” I laugh as I fall onto the couch in the living room. The couch is as big as my bed back home, and I can literally lie and stretch out my entire body on it.

“Instinct. You’ve moved out of your apartment. You’re living with some playboy, for whatever reason that you won’t tell me. It only makes sense that you’ve gotten a new best Real Housewives of Beverly Hills friend. Who is she?”

“Her name is Sandra, and she likes to shop and complain about how bad a job the help is doing on her rose bushes.”

“She sounds like a treat,” Amy says scathingly. “Punch her for me, will you?”

I laugh at this. God, I miss Amy. The two of us could easily go on pretending that Sandra is a real person for hours and never miss a beat. The two of us can talk about almost anything really, and as we do, I suddenly realize how much I actually miss her.

Despite how great my life is at the moment and despite how great everything is going, best friends are hard to come by and even harder to replace.

“I miss you,” I say seriously. “Too much.”

“I miss you, too. Ugh, listen to us. You’re only in Beverly Hills. I’m acting like you’re in New York or something.”

“May as well be,” I moan. “While I’m here, I’m never going to get to see you.”

“While you’re there. Are you going to tell me why that is, by the way? You’ve been very coy about it, and I know you. I know you’re not the type to move for some boy, no matter how big his dick and or bank account is.”

“I can’t tell you, at least not over the phone.” Despite what I tell Blake, I am dreading telling Amy about what I am doing. I know she won’t judge me, but it will still make for awkward conversation.

“So, invite me over. You promised me that you would, anyway. I want to see this mansion and this man, both.”

“I will,” I say. “As soon as Blake gets home, I’ll ask when a good time is.”

“Oh, you’re going to ask Blake?” She jokes, dropping her voice in an attempt to make it sound snobbish. “Mr. Blake needs to give you permission.”

“It’s not like that,” I laugh. “It’s just polite. It’s still his house, after all.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she agrees. “I just miss you.”

“I miss you, too.”

The two of us speak for several more hours. Honestly, we could talk all day and night. I have so much I want to tell her, and I have to make sure to keep a wrap on all the important stuff. The only reason that we do, eventually, stop is that I hear the car come down the driveway, announcing Blake’s return.

I quickly say goodbye to Amy, promise that she can come visit soon, and leap from the couch and run to the front door. As he walks in, I throw myself at him, wrapping my arms around him.

“Whoa, someone has missed me.” He smiles at me.

“Oh, no,” I say, and I quickly let go of him. “I thought you were the milkman.”

“He comes at two.”

“Ah, I’ll remember that,” I joke, and I lean up and kiss him on the cheek.

“Plans tonight?” He asks as I follow him through the house and into our bedroom. I watch as he unpacks his things from the day and changes his clothes. It’s nothing interesting, but for some reason, I am absorbed in every little movement.

“You,” I say simply.

“Sounds delightful,” he replies.

***

As always, the chefs have outdone themselves. I don’t even know what the food is, but I eat two whole servings. For the first time in as long as I remember, I don’t have room for dessert.

It’s as I finish and watch Blake slowly chew his food, that the housekeeper comes up behind me. I jump as I feel her hand on my shoulder.

“Oh my God,” I say as my breathing calms down. “You scared me, Christina.”

“Sorry, miss,” she says. “But Mr. Blake wants me to give you this.” She holds out a little dish and in it is a small pill.

“It’s a prenatal care vitamin,” Blake says. “I read in one of those books that they are meant to help with digestion and cramping. The book always said you should start right away, so I figured why not now?” He watches me with a smile as I take the pill from Christina.

“Thanks, Christina. That’s really thoughtful of you. Blake, seriously, you can’t stop impressing me, can you?”

“If I ever do, let me know, okay? That way, I can step it up a little.”

I shake my head at his boyish smile. I then pick up my glass of water and use it to help swallow the pill. Blake is taking this pregnancy even more seriously than me, it seems. It’s time I start doing it too.

Chapter 39

CARRIE

“How do you feel?” Blake asks. He looks at me, noting my shaking hands and sweaty brow.

“I’m fine,” I lie. I am fidgeting nervously, while trying me best to not look nervous. It isn’t working.

“It’s going to be okay. He is just going to run a few tests and talk you through what to expect. There’s really no need to be nervous.”

“I’m not nervous,” I snap. “Sorry,” I apologize. “Maybe I am just a little nervous.”

Blake and I are on the way to my first appointment. Like a dog being taken to the vet, Blake all but had to lure me into the car. And now that we are almost there, I feel my level of panic slowly increasing.

It’s not that I’m scared of doctors. I just don’t like strange people prodding and poking at me. Plus, I read that they are going to need to take some of my blood, and I hate needles.

“You really have nothing to worry about. We’ve both read the same books, and we both know what to expect. And as for the needle, it’s barely going to feel like a pin prick.”

“I hate pin pricks,” I mutter under my breath, but just loud enough so that Blake can hear. He smiles, reaches across the car and rubs my shoulder.

***

Doctor Johnson is just like every other doctor I have ever been to. He is overly friendly, to the point of it seeming fake. As I walk into his exam room, he smiles and makes a joke.

“One of the first questions I get asked is, ‘when will my baby move?’ And I always say, ‘with any luck, right after it finishes college.’”

I am too nervous to laugh. I can barely pay attention to what he’s saying. He doesn’t seem bothered by my reaction.

He tells me that there is nothing to worry about, and that before I know it, I will be out of here and already looking forward to my next appointment.

I don’t believe him.

“So how long were you two trying for?” He asks.

I’m sitting on the table, and he has just finished taking my blood pressure.

“One week,” I say.

“Really?” He asks, sounding shocked. “That’s pretty impressive. Some people work at it for months, years even. Very impressive.”

“What does that mean?” Blake asks. He stands by my side and holds my hand. I’m squeezing it a little harder than is necessary, but Blake doesn’t say anything. “Is our baby going to be healthier than others? Is it going to be like a super baby?”

I look at Blake to see if he is joking or not. Doctor Johnson throws back his head and laughs.

“No, nothing like that,” he says. “It doesn’t really mean anything. Maybe just that the two of you are compatible. But if I see the little guy or girl wearing a cape in there, I’ll let you know.”

I like the way that sounds. Not the super baby thing, but the possibility that Blake and I are compatible. It’s as if even destiny is telling us that we are meant to be together.

“Okay, so this is the final bit.” I don’t know when it happened, but Doctor Johnson suddenly has a giant needle in his hand. Maybe giant is an overstatement. It really isn’t that big, but to me, it may as well be a foot long.

“Ow!” Blake says as I squeeze his hand even harder.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I say with scorn. “Did that hurt? How bad for you.”

Doctor Johnson chuckles. “There is really nothing to worry about. You will barely feel it. I promise.” He walks toward me, needle in hand and I seize up.

I turn my head over my shoulder, looking away as I feel the needle pierce my skin. It doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it was going to, but it still isn’t pleasant. Despite myself, I look down at my arm. As I do, I almost faint. The sight of blood being funneled from my arm makes my head spin.

I clutch onto Blake for support.

“Wow, are you all right?” He asks as he grabs me.

“I’m fine,” I say with relief as I feel the needle leaving my arm. “Just got a little light-headed. I don’t know why they need to take so much in the first place. Or any, for that matter.”

“It’s so we can determine if everything is going to be fine with you and the baby,” Doctor Johnson confirms as he puts down my blood sample. “We don’t want any surprises.”

“So that’s it?” I ask quickly, jumping down from the table. “We can go?”

“Not so fast.” Doctor Johnson chuckles again. “I need to make sure that the two of you are fully up to speed. Have you done any reading on what to expect? Morning sickness, cramps, weird cravings for odd food combinations? That kind of thing?”

“We are fully up to speed,” I say as my eyes fall on the door. I really want to get out. For some reason, I feel as if the doctor is stalling. As if he is enjoying my discomfort.

“Good. Then there is just the matter of the due date, and you are free to go.”

“Due date?” I ask. My ears perk up, and I turn to face the doctor, looking at him properly for the first time.

“That’s right. February fourteenth. St. Valentine’s Day. An auspicious date. With the speed at which you conceived and the due date, I might just have to admit that I’ve never seen such a compatible couple. Congratulations!”

I look across to Blake who is already looking down at me. We share a smile. For once, I couldn’t agree more with the doctor.

Chapter 40

BLAKE

“So, what do you think?” I ask as I look up at my construction. “I’m not just a pretty face.”

“I’m so impressed,” Carrie says. “If I wasn’t attracted to you before, now I certainly am.”

We are in my backyard, and I have just finished setting up a moon-bounce. I rented it online for the day, and although the company offered to set it up, I declined. I was in the mood to bust out my handyman skills.

“So, who is getting on first, you or me?” I ask playfully. I stalk her, and she takes a step back. She grabs her stomach and frowns at me.

“I don’t know if it’s good for the baby. I better not.”

“I guess I’ll save it for Tommy and Simon then. I haven’t checked with Ben, but I’m pretty sure that neither of them is pregnant.”

I’m actually feeling a little excited. More than I am letting on to Carrie. The reason for my excitement is that Ben, Janet and their two sons are coming over for a barbecue later today. While they are here, I am going to tell them the big news.

It’s been three months and we’ve been given the all-clear.

I was once nervous to tell Ben, thinking that he would judge me. But now, I cannot wait. Ben and I used to be such good friends, and although we still are, a definite divide opened between us when he became a father. Now that I will have a child of my own, we can finally bridge that gap, once and for all.

“When are they coming over?” Carrie asks, walking back to me, now that I have stopped threatening to throw her on the moon-bounce.

“Any minute,” I reply. “The food is ready, the table and chairs are set up. All we need now are the guests.”

I stop talking as I hear something in the distance. It sounds like screaming, and as I continue to listen, it gets closer and closer.

“What’s that?” Carrie asks, hearing the same thing.

I listen, my ears straining. Breaking into a smile, I suddenly realize what it is. The screaming is more akin to laughing, and I watch the side of my house, waiting for what I know is about to charge around the corner.

It’s Simon, Ben’s son. He is screaming playfully as he charges across the backyard to me. The second he reaches me, I scoop up him and literally throw him across the gap between myself and the moon-bounce. He lands in it safely, laughing the whole time.

“Hey there!” Ben calls out.

He and Janet walk across the yard to Carrie and me. Tommy walks between them, holding his mother’s hand. Ben and Janet have been married for over ten years. I actually met her first and essentially introduced them, although Ben will never admit that. She has long red hair, big green eyes and a kind smile.

“He came at me,” I say and I hold my hands up in defense. “I was worried for my safety.”

“Oh, no,” Ben says as he reaches me. “Are you okay?”

“I am,” I say, before leaning around Ben to face Tommy. He is only four, but is the spitting image of his father. “Hey, buddy. How’s my favorite guy?”

“Good,” he beams up at me.

“You want to join your brother on the moon-bounce?”

Before he has a chance to answer, I scoop him off the ground, throw him over my shoulder, and carry him to the moon-bounce. There, I throw him inside so he can play with his brother.

“I think they like you more than me,” Ben says, and he bites his lip as if in frustration.

“Who wouldn’t?” I joke.

The lunch is, of course, phenomenal. The chefs, again, have outdone themselves. Ben and Janet let the kids continue to play while we all eat and chat.

As we eat, I talk about everything but the pregnancy. It is constantly on the very tip of my tongue, but the words just don’t follow. And it’s not that I am nervous. I just don’t know how I am going to break the news.

I am sitting beside Carrie, and I love how easily she, Ben and Janet all get on. It’s as if they have been friends for years. I reach under the table and take her hand in mine, giving it a squeeze. I instantly notice that her hand is clammy and cold. Sweaty even.

“Are you okay?” I whisper, making sure that Ben and Janet are distracted by the kids.

“I don’t feel good. I need to go to the bathroom.” Without another word, Carrie pushes her seat back, hops to her feet and scurries across the yard.

“What was that?” Ben asks.

“I don’t know. I’ll be right back.”

I jump to my feet, hurry across the yard and inside. Once inside, I head straight for the bathroom door, which I see to be closed. “Carrie?” I say as I reach it. “Is everything all right?”

The obvious sound of vomiting echoes through the door. “I’m fine,” she yells out back to me. “Just a little—” She stops again, having been cut off by another bout of vomiting.

She assures me again that she is fine and that I should just get back to Ben and Janet. I do, but I walk away from the door with some trepidation. I hate knowing that she is sick and in need of help. I want to be in there with her, holding her hand. Sure, it is only a little sickness from the pregnancy, but I still think of that as a pretty big deal.

I pull up my seat and fall into it. I don’t even look at Ben or Janet. I’m too lost in my own head.

“So,” Ben begins. “How long has it been?”

“What?” I ask, and I look at him for the first time.

He wears a goofy, knowing smile. Which he shares with Janet.

“How long has she been pregnant for?”

“What do you mean? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I am so obviously lying, but I don’t know what to say.

“Please,” Ben says with a smirk. “You don’t think I recognize that look on Carrie’s face? She’s in there right now, blowing chunks.” Janet smacks Ben on the arm. “Ow. You know what I mean, though. She is pregnant. I’m right, aren’t I?”

I look from Ben to Janet and back to Ben. They both have insufferable, all-knowing smiles, and I know that there is no point lying to them. More than that, there is no reason to. I want to tell them the truth and have wanted to for a while. This may as well be the way that they find out.

“Yep, she’s pregnant,” I admit. “With our baby.”

A tremendous weight falls from my shoulders as I tell them. The two clap and cheer, and Ben hold up his glass as a toast. I raise my glass too, smiling as I do, and I wonder why I was ever so worried in the first place. Both Janet and Ben are so happy for me, and I am happier than I ever thought I would be in my life.

Chapter 41

CARRIE

Sitting across the table from Amy, I can’t help but think about how different this meal is from the one that Blake and I had with Ben and Janet.

That was a much quieter affair, even with the children. There were a few drinks that I avoided. There was light banter and an all-around enjoyable time. But Amy is a whirlwind. She stormed into the house, screaming at the top of her lungs about how much she had missed me, even though I went for lunch with her only the week before.

She demanded I give her a tour of the house and then was adamant that the two of us get smashed. I was able to oblige the first, but I had to work to dodge the second. I’d managed to avoid the subject of not drinking in front of her so far, but I was telling her tonight that I was pregnant.

Our dinner is far louder than either Blake or I had anticipated, either. She chose the music, and it is blaring. She also bought vodka for us to drink, which Blake is drinking for the two of us, and she is even hinting that we go out after.

Although Blake is obviously a little put out by Amy’s behavior, I can’t help but laugh. This isn’t really what Amy is like, not usually, anyway. She is just excited to see me and wants to get the most of me in while she can. She is only here for the weekend.

“So,” she says, and she looks back between Blake and me. “You two are going to show me a good night, right? Take me to a Beverly Hills club, maybe? Maybe then I can meet a rich so and so, and get myself set up?”

I still haven’t told her yet. I keep meaning to, but every time I am about to say it, she barrels forth with a comment about being single, or how she misses me, or how she can’t wait until I am back. I thought Blake was being silly for not telling Ben and Janet sooner. Now I see how hard it is.

But Blake is my rock. He sees that I am struggling and reaches across the table and takes my hand.

“So, Amy,” he says, turning to address her. “Carrie has something she wants to tell you.”

“Oh,” Amy says. “Does it involve a reason why your glass is still full? Chug that drink, and then tell me.”

“Actually,” I begin. I take a deep breath and prepare myself. It is time. “I can’t drink that, Amy. And I haven’t drunk anything all night. Blake has been drinking my half.”

“What?”

“I’m pregnant.” I say it quickly, and I hold Amy’s stare as I do. I want her to know that I am being serious for once, and that this isn’t a joke.

She looks back from me to Blake. Blake is holding my hand, and he lifts it to his mouth and kisses it. I put my hand on his lap and give it a rub.

“You’re pregnant?” She asks.

“That’s right,” I say, with more resolution. “Definitely pregnant. With Blake’s baby, obviously. I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

“Oh my God!” Amy screams. She leaps from her chair, runs around the table and pulls me into a massive hug. “I can’t believe it. This is amazing. This is wonderful news!”

She has let go of me just long enough to get the words out. But now that she has, she pulls me into another bone-crunching hug.

“You’re not mad?” I ask.

“Mad? How could I be mad? My best friend is having a baby. Which means I’m going to be an aunt. Which means I’m going to cry.”

And sure enough, tears begin to pour down her cheek. She bats at her eyes, trying to fan them off.

“I’ll let you two talk.” Blake stands and heads to the bathroom.

“Seriously,” Amy says as she calms down. She walks back to her seat, falling into it and letting out a long sigh. “I am so happy for you. My heart hurts.”

“I’m so happy that you are. I was worried that you might not approve.”

I look back to the bathroom door as I do. I don’t want Blake to overhear. Amy is aware of who Blake is, and if anyone is going to have it in for him, it’s going to be her.

“Well, to be honest, if you had told me this before tonight, I probably wouldn’t be so behind it.”

“Yeah?” I ask.

I’m not that surprised. She and Blake have gotten on really well tonight, better than I could have ever hoped. It’s as if he knew he would have to win her over.

“Well, yeah, after what he did.” I look over my shoulder at the still-closed bathroom door. “But he seems like a great guy. He’s handsome, he’s funny and he is obviously a good provider. Like what’s the deal? Are you two getting married or what?”

“Whoa,” I say quickly. “Hold on there. We haven’t discussed that yet.”

“Well, excuse me for thinking that two people having a baby together might be getting married,” she scoffs. “Either way, you mark my words. I know things, and I know people. I’m a hairdresser after all. And you two are going to be together for a while. Longer than that even.”

“You think so?” I ask, unable to suppress my smile.

“I know so. Forever and ever. You heard it here first. Now if you don’t mind.” She leans across the table and picks up the very full vodka-mixed drink that sits in front of me. “Seeing as you can’t have this.”

She takes a big gulp and then another.

I pay her hardly any attention. I look from the still-closed bathroom door to Blake’s empty seat, and I smile a big, goofy and unbridled smile. I don’t want to jinx it, and I have tried not to think of it, but as if Amy’s words have let the cat out of the bag, now I can’t think of anything but. I love Blake. Plain and simple, and I can truly see us spending the rest of our lives together. So much so that I don’t even bother to tell Amy about the pregnancy contract.

I just hope that Blake feels the same way.

Chapter 42

BLAKE

They probably think that I can’t hear them talking, but I can. It isn’t on purpose, either, but it just kind of happened. I finished up in the bathroom, washed my hands and went to open the door, and that’s when I heard them talking.

And it’s not just because I hear them talking that I don’t exit the bathroom. It’s the content of their conversation that has caused me to pause. It’s about me. Well, more specifically, it’s about Carrie and me.

Amy is saying that she thinks Carrie and me are perfect for one another, that we belong together and will be together forever. Not only is she saying it, but she is stating how certain of the fact she is.

And what’s more, Carrie isn’t disagreeing. Even as I strain to listen, I can’t make out what Carrie is saying back. But judging from the way that Amy continues to talk, I guess it to be in the positive.

I have thought for a while now that Carrie might be more than just the woman carrying my child. I have thought for a while now that I am slowly falling in love with her. Now I know her to feel the same way.

I stand by the door for a few minutes more and continue to listen. When I hear that the conversation has changed direction, I take a deep breath and walk back outside.

“What are we talking about?” I say as I enter the dining room. I don’t want them thinking that I overheard. “Anything interesting?”

“Oh, this and that,” Carrie responds. As she does, I see a coy smile spread across her face, and she shares a knowing glance with Amy.

“Hopefully, more of this and less of that,” I reply, sitting myself back beside Carrie.

As I sit down, I reach across and take Carrie’s hand. I kiss the back of it and smile at her. I say nothing, but the way I look at her speaks volumes. She returns the look, too. We are both in love.

“So, let me guess,” Amy sighs. “You’re doing all the work here, Carrie, while Blake puts his feet up for the next six months? He’ll start calling you the Baby Carrier soon.”

Carrie snorts.

I clear my throat. “Actually, Amy, if you must know, I would argue that I’m doing just as much work as Carrie, minus the actual carrying of the baby. In fact, if anything, Carrie is slacking off.”

“Excuse me?” Carrie blusters and frowns. “Who was it that had to drag you to the bookstore to buy all those baby books?”

“I agree,” I say. “But now that we have them, who has read the most?”

“Well, that’s debatable,” Carrie says softly, and she looks away, unwilling to meet my challenge.

I laugh. I know, too well, that I’ve read more than her.

“Oh, baby books!” Amy squeals. “Show me, show me.”

“Why?” I ask. “Planning on joining the fun?”

“Just curious,” Amy replies.

“Okay, one sec,” I get up from the table and hurry into the main bedroom where the majority of the books are stored. I pick up a handful and make my way back to the dining room where I offload them into Amy’s outstretched hands.

“Hmm, What You Need To whatever. And Five Things You Never blah blah. Oh, and of course, The Most Important Thing that is totally common sense. All these books are rather presumptuous, aren’t they?” Amy shakes her head. “They just assume you’re a hopeless case who doesn’t know one end of a baby from the other.”

“Ha, that was Blake before the books,” Carrie says.

“Hey,” I cut in, as I pretend to get angry. “I was pretty sure that the head was located on the top of the baby. And these books just confirm it. Although I’m still not sure which end the diaper goes on.”

“Okay, I admit I was wrong,” Amy says. “Clearly Blake is just as committed as you are, Carrie.”

I actually have a surprise for Carrie that I have been waiting to show her. I organized it ages ago but have since kept it a secret. And now, considering the theme of the conversation, I figure it’s a perfect opportunity to show just how seriously I am taking this pregnancy.

“Well,” I begin. “There is one more thing I can do to show you how far I’ve come. And I promise that by the end, even you, Carrie will be forced to admit that I’ve outdone you and outmaneuvered you in every way. You’ll be calling me the Baby Master.”

“What have you done?” Carrie asks. She looks at me curiously, scrunching up her face.

“Follow me.”

I take Carrie by the hand and stand from the table. Amy follows, and I lead the two women up the stairs and down the hallway. There’s a room down at the end of it, located just off the master bedroom. When Carrie first asked about it, I told her it was a storage room. But it isn’t.

I reach the door, pull out my keys and unlock it. Once I hear the lock click, I slowly push the door open and step inside.

“Ta-da!” I say.

I smile in delight as I watch both Carrie’s and Amy’s faces drop in shock.

The room is actually a nursery. I had it turned into one last week while Carrie was at doctors’ appointments and back at her old place getting a few things. She was gone for the day and I took advantage of her absence.

There’s a crib in the middle, with a mobile dangling above it. There are stuffed bears, a stuffed elephant and a stuffed high-five emoji in the crib too. And the walls are yellow, a neutral color. Boy or girl, I can’t wait to be a father, and I hope that this proves it to Carrie.

“Oh my God,” she exclaims as she takes in the room. “I can’t believe it. When did you do this?”

“So, you like it?” I ask. The thought just occurred to me that maybe I should have asked Carrie to help me decorate it, and there is a small chance she might actually be upset.

“Like it? I love it!” She rushes across the room and throws her arms around me.

“So, ladies, does this settle the debate?” I ask with a broad grin.

Amy raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms. Carrie kisses me on the cheek.

“I suppose so,” Amy says with reluctance.

“I don’t know what I can do now to catch up to you,” Carrie says, laughing. “Because, yes, you definitely win.”

“All you have to do is have the baby,” I say. “And then we’ll call it even. Deal?”

“Deal.”

The three of us remain in the room for a few more minutes. Carrie continues to hug me, and Amy continues to watch us with a smile on her face.

This whole fathering thing isn’t going to be half bad. And I cannot believe that I get to do it with Carrie.

Chapter 43

BLAKE

It has been a long day. It’s been one of those days where even though the hours pass at a solid pace, there just seems to be too many of them. And indeed, today there was. I started early, getting up at six in the morning. And now, as the clock ticks onto eleven at night, I stroll through the front door, unable to believe how long I have been out.

There has been a problem with one of the productions I’m involved in, and what was meant to be an easy solution, turned out to be more difficult than we thought.

My throat is hoarse from yelling, my eyes are droopy from reading, and I just want to crawl into bed and snuggle up beside Carrie.

It’s thoughts of her that helped get me through the day. Whenever I felt myself about to implode or break down, I just pictured her at home, waiting for me with my unborn child in her womb. It gives me strength and makes the terrible seem bearable.

I creep through the house and into our bedroom, a little too excited to see her. Sure enough, she is in bed already, sound asleep.

I slowly undress, careful not to wake her. As I do, I watch her sleep. She is so beautiful, so perfect. I just cannot believe how lucky I am to have her.

I have been thinking about it all day, and I think it’s time I tell her how I really feel. Sure, I’ve shown her how I feel. I’ve invited her into my home, I’ve introduced her to my friends, and I’ve showered love and attention onto her every time I can. But I haven’t actually said the words. I am going to tell her that I love her.

I was planning on doing it today, when I got home. But that clearly didn’t go to plan. Instead, I’ll do it tomorrow night. I booked a table at a nice restaurant that I know she wants to try. The mood will be perfect, and then, I will tell her everything. And I just hope that she feels the same way.

I slip into bed, snuggling up beside her. I kiss her on the cheeks, and she smiles without waking. I wrap my arms around her and lay my head gently on the pillow.

“I love you,” I whisper.

***

Dinner is going perfectly.

It started with me leaving work early for once, and it continued through to the appetizers we had and the entrees. The place isn’t too crowded either, so the atmosphere is perfect for what I plan to tell her. Really, I can’t imagine how it could have all worked out better.

“You look amazing tonight, by the way. Have I told you that already?”

“This is the third time,” she says, smiling. “But good things happen in threes, so I’m okay with it.”

She does look incredible. Her hair is straight, flowing down her back. She wears a tight black dress that perfectly shows her curves, and she offsets this with a shade of red lipstick that makes me want to lean across the table and kiss her every time I look.

“Well, you do,” I stop myself. “Ah, damn. That’s four. My bad.”

“I’m okay with it,” she says. “And besides, you are only human.”

I’m still trying to decide the right way to tell her how I feel. I don’t want to just tell her that I love her. That’s boring. I want her to feel it, to know that it’s more than just words.

“How’s everything going with the baby?” I ask. “It’s all fine?”

I regret it as soon as the words leave my mouth. What a silly question. Just because it is so obvious. I may as well wear a sign saying that I have something else on my mind.

“Yeah, it’s all good. Is everything all right?” She frowns at me. “You seem nervous.”

Of course, she has noticed that I’m not myself. I’m not exactly subtle.

“What? Yeah, why would I not be?”

“Well, first of all you keep on repeating yourself. You’ve asked me five times how I’m feeling. You’re also fidgeting. Now come on, tell me. What’s going on?”

I let out a deep sigh. It’s time.

“Carrie, you know how great these past few months have been for me, don’t you?”

“Of course, they’ve been great for me, too.” She smiles at me, and I feel my heart skip.

“One thing that we’ve never really spoken about is my past. I’m not exactly a girlfriend type of guy. In fact, I never even thought I would have a serious partner, and I never thought I would want one. But you have changed that. The last time I had a serious relationship was high school. Back then, I wanted a girlfriend, and back then, I was glad I had one.”

“Blake,” Carrie interrupts me. “Please don’t.”

“Please, Carrie, let me finish this,” I say. I’m not looking at her. If I were, I might see the tears starting to form in her eyes. “She broke my heart. After her, I never thought I would feel real feelings for another girl. But then you came along. Carrie, what I’m trying to say is—”

“Blake. Take me home. Please!”

I look up at Carrie, and my face drops. She is in tears. Literal, flowing tears. For how long or why, I have no idea.

“Carrie, what’s wrong?”

“I just want to go home.” She stands up and walks from the restaurant, leaving me where I am.

I stay seated for a moment, trying to think of what I have done. The last time Carrie acted like this was on the beach. It suddenly hits me. That night, I was talking about Lyndsey, too. That night, I was telling her about my past, and she acted the exact same way. Only after that, we didn’t speak for a week.

Is she mad that I have an ex? Is she mad that I’m talking about her?

I stand up and hurry from the restaurant. I can see Carrie standing by the car, waiting. As I reach the car, she refuses to look at me. I want to ask her what is wrong, but I don’t know if I should. I hate seeing her upset. It tears me up inside. But more than that, I hate being the cause of it.

I start up the car and begin the drive home. Carrie still refuses to look at me. I decide that I am going to ask her.

Chapter 44

CARRIE

I sit in the car in silence, looking out the window as Blake drives us home. When the car stops in front of the house, I am out the door before Blake even undoes his seatbelt. I really don’t want to talk to him, but I know he is going to want to talk to me.

The night was going so well, too. Everything was perfect. The food was amazing, the restaurant was to die for, and Blake was being so sweet. But then, for some reason he brought up Lyndsey. Again. Why does he keep bringing her up? I don’t want to act this way. I don’t want to be mad or upset at him. But when I hear him talk about her, I break down.

I storm into the bedroom, I quickly take off my clothes and put on my pajamas. I hear Blake’s footsteps coming up the hallway, and I hurry to the bed. If I climb in and close my eyes before he sees me, then maybe he won’t try to talk about what just happened.

With any luck.

I am wrapped up under the blankets when he enters. He pauses at the door, and I keep my eyes closed tight. I can feel him watching me, deciding what he should do.

“Carrie, is everything okay?” I don’t respond. “Carrie?” I stay silent.

I think for a moment that it has worked and that he has left. But the covers suddenly fly off me. I open my eyes, and he’s standing over me. He doesn’t look angry, but concerned. Worried even. My heart aches. I hate making him upset. Especially over something that he has no control.

“Carrie, seriously. We need to talk. Are you okay? Please, let me know that at least.”

I sigh, sitting up. “I’m fine.” It’s weak and mumbled. I don’t look him.

“No, you’re not,” he says. He sits on the bed by my side and reaches out, rubbing my knee. “Seriously, I’m worried, Carrie. Can you please tell me what is wrong?”

It’s not just about what he said, bringing up Lyndsey. As much as that hurts, the real reason I don’t want to talk about it is when I do, I will have to admit something that I have been hiding for a while now. That I love Blake.

If I do tell him, I will need to divulge what my original plan was, and how I have changed my mind. And then, I will need to tell him why I changed my mind. Not only will it force me to open up in a way I never have before, but it will also provide him with a perfect excuse to not return my love.

If he kicks me out of the house after tonight, there is no way I can hold it against him.

“Okay,” I sigh, sitting up. “I’ll tell you, but please let me finish, okay? And when I say what I have to say, please think about the baby and what everything we have done together means.”

“Okay,” he says. His hand rubs my thigh again, and I can see the concern in his face. I wonder how long until that turns to anger.

I take a deep breath and the words spill out. “Lyndsey, your ex-girlfriend, is my sister by adoption. She is the closest thing that I have ever had to family, and when she died, it hurt me in a way that you probably can’t even imagine. It hurt me so much that all I have wanted to do since is honor her life in any way that I knew how.”

His face drops as the realization of what I am saying dawns on him.

I continue. “When you two were dating in high school, I know that you got her pregnant, and I also know that you dumped her which caused her to have a miscarriage, which she dealt with by drinking and taking drugs – please, let me finish,” I hurry when he opens his mouth to speak.

“She was so upset. I had never seen her like that. It made me hate you, even though I didn’t know you. I didn’t realize who you were until after you asked me to have your baby. When I found out, I was upset. You have to remember that I loved my sister, and I would have done anything for her. Anyway, I realized that I could make you pay for what you did to her.”

“What are you saying, Carrie? How were you going to make me pay?”

“I was going to have the baby. I was going to take the money and the baby, and then leave. I was going to bring your child into the world, and then deny you of it, the same way you denied my sister.”

“That’s not true!” Blake suddenly stands. “I never did that.”

“Please!” I yell. “I changed my mind. I’m not going to do it anymore! I can’t. Not to you!”

“You were going to take my child from me?” He asks. “You were going to leave?”

“I was,” I say, and I feel the tears starting to come again. “But not anymore. I could never do something like that. Not to you.”

Blake sits back down. He doesn’t take my hand this time or touch me at all. Instead, he looks at me, and I can see he is angry and hurt.

“I’m going to ask you something, Carrie. Did you ever see any proof of the pregnancy? Did Lyndsey ever show you anything at all to confirm it?”

“What? No.”

“She lied to you, Carrie. She was never pregnant, and she broke up with me when I said that she was spiraling out of control with too much drinking and drugs. I don’t know why she lied, but she did.”

“No, she couldn’t have. She wouldn’t have.”

“She did.”

I look into his eyes, trying to see if he is lying, trying to see if there is any deceit behind them. There isn’t. He is telling the truth. For some reason that I can’t understand, my sister lied to me. She was never pregnant and she dumped him. And I was going to hurt the man I love because of it.

I feel sick. I feel wrong. I feel like nothing I have ever felt before.

“And you were going to run?” He asks. His voice quakes and I can hear the struggle in his words. “You were going to leave?”

“But I changed my mind,” I say quickly. I reach for his hands, and he pulls them away. “I could never do that to you now.”

I sit there looking at him, I swallow and say, “I love you, Blake.”

I have thought about telling him that I love him so many times. And every time that I do, his reaction is the same. In my imagination, he smiles, tells me he loves me too, and we hug and kiss. I never imagined the reaction that he gives me now.

He looks at me, pain stricken across his face. He looks at me as if he is seeing a stranger. As if he has no idea who I am or what I have just said.

“Carrie, I think you should stay in the guest room tonight. And I think you should stay there until the baby is born.” He stands and leaves the room. He doesn’t look at me, not once.

I stare at the doorway, as if expecting him to come back in and tell me that it’s a joke and that he loves me too. But he doesn’t. The doorway remains empty. I slowly get to my feet, and step by step, I make my way to the door.

I walk from the bedroom to the hallway, looking over my shoulder as I do. I’m not only leaving the room, but leaving Blake. He has all but told me that he doesn’t love me, not the way I love him. It’s over.

Our relationship is simply a legal contract of a surrogate pregnancy.

Chapter 45

BLAKE

I call Ben as soon as I wake up on Saturday. Well, wake up is a relative term. I have never had such a bad night’s sleep. As the sun hits my face and my eyes shoot open, I realize that I may have gotten, at most, two hours of actual sleep.

I have no idea what to do about Carrie. On the one hand, I love her, but on the other, she lied to me and betrayed me. I am at a loss, and that was what I spent the entire night thinking about.

She is in the guest room, and all I want to do is go and talk to her, but I have no idea what I should say. That is why I am calling Ben. I need someone to talk to. Maybe if I can get this mess of swirling thoughts out of my head and in the open, I can start making sense of how I feel. Maybe I can figure out what the hell I’m going to do.

Ben is a father, so he is usually up at the crack of dawn. He answers the phone in his usual cheery manner, and I tell him to meet me at the bar. I don’t ask. I tell. My voice is hard and serious, and Ben has known me for long enough to know not to argue. He tells me he will be there when it opens later this morning.

***

I walk into the bar and spot Ben straight away. It isn’t hard. He is the only other person in there. Seeing me, he waves me over. There are already two beers in front of him. It’s classic Ben. It makes me realize how lucky I am to have a friend like him in my life.

“You look like shit,” he says as I sit down. “What’s wrong?”

“Well, I feel like shit, so it’s appropriate,” I say. I take the beer and down half of it in one go. The second half disappears as I take my second mouthful. “One more,” I say to the bartender.

“Okay, obviously something is troubling you,” Ben says. “Tell Uncle Ben what it is.”

So, I do. I tell him everything. I speak for a good twenty minutes, telling him all about Carrie. And not just what happened last night, but what led up to that. I tell him about how we met and the proposal. I tell him about the payment plan, and how I have fallen in love with her. And of course, I tell him about Lyndsey, and then Carrie’s plan to take my baby and run.

“Well, that’s a story,” Ben says as I finish. “You could make a movie out of that. Don’t you run a movie-making company?”

“Funny,” I say into my beer.

“So, what’s the problem?”

I am looking down at my beer, and as I hear his question, I slowly turn to face him. He must be joking. But his expression is serious. As if he truly doesn’t know what the problem is.

“Are you kidding?” I ask. “Were you not just listening?”

“I was. But unlike you, my friend, I saw the whole picture. The forest, not the trees, you might say. I can see things objectively. I can cancel out all the noise, color and drama, and focus on what is important.”

“Which is?”

“That you two love each other. You even said that she told you she loves you, right?”

“Well, yeah.”

“And you just told me that you love her, right?”

“Yeah, but—”

“So, what’s the problem?” He asks, throwing his arms in the air as if trying to exaggerate the point.

“She lied to me. She was going to steal my baby. She was going to use me for my money.”

“Was… is the issue still there. Not anymore. And besides, in Carrie’s defense, she did have some shady intel on you that she thought was real. Can you blame her for being pissed? Also, keep in mind, she thought you were a monster to her sister, and she forgave you anyway. She fell in love with you, regardless of what she mistakenly thought you did. If that isn’t true love, I don’t know what is.”

“I guess so,” I say, still unsure.

“And take it from a man who knows personally. Love is tough to come by. Few find it, and many who do usually fuck it up without realizing. They then spend the rest of their life wondering why they are alone. Don’t be that guy.”

“So, you think I should forgive Carrie?” I ask.

Ben is making some good points. And the more he speaks, the more I realize that I didn’t come here to complain, but to have my love confirmed. I do love Carrie. I just needed to see it.

“Of course, you should forgive her. And let’s be honest, you already have.” He winks at me. “But to be clear, I think you two are a little fucked up. You should probably sit down and have a normal conversation about all of this. But we both know this isn’t the end.”

I look at my friend with a newfound sense of respect. He has told me exactly what I need to hear to put things in perspective. His advice just kept me from making the biggest mistake of my life.

I can’t make Carrie leave. I love her, and if I push her away, I would regret it for the rest of my life. And I’ve been focusing on the wrong parts of Carrie’s confessions to me. She told me she loves me. I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind to hear it.

Chapter 46

CARRIE

I love Blake, and he doesn’t love me. That’s all I can think about. My head, shoved into my pillow to soak up tears as they fall, is clouded with these terrible thoughts.

I have been crying all night, and now, all morning. I can’t stop. Not only did I sleep in the spare room last night, but I will have to sleep here until the baby is born. Maybe I should just go home? But if I do that, then I won’t be near Blake, and I can’t pull myself away. I love him too much.

I should have told him everything when I first found out. I should have asked him about my sister and the pregnancy and let him explain his side of the story. If I did, then I would have learned that she was never pregnant, that everything I thought about him was wrong. If I had, I would be in his bed right now, wrapped in his arms.

I think I hear a knock at the door, but I decide that I am just imagining it. Blake would not be coming to talk to me. Odds are, he will avoid me for the rest of the pregnancy and then kick me out the moment the baby is born.

There’s another knock. It’s louder this time.

“Yes?” I call. Perhaps it is Christina coming in to ask me to leave. I do my best to hide the sound of crying as I pull my face from the pillow.

“Carrie, it’s me. Can I come in?” It’s Blake.

I sit up quickly and do the best I can to wipe away my tears and make it look as if I haven’t spent the last twelve hours bawling out my eyes.

“Sure,” I call back. “Come in.”

He opens the door and walks inside. He looks at me, and I can see the pain on his face. It makes my heart skip a little, the idea that this hasn’t been as easy for him as I thought. Clearly, he too has been hurting.

“How are you?” He asks, his voice soft. He walks further into the room and hovers by the end of my bed.

“Miserable,” I say. “How about you?”

“Yeah, I’ve been better.”

“Me too,” I say as I force a smile. “A lot better.”

“Carrie, may I sit down?” He asks.

“Of course.”

He sits down on the edge of the bed, keeping his distance. “I’m sorry. I am. I should never have reacted like that last night, and I should have never made you leave the room. And I definitely shouldn’t have implied that you and I were over.”

“You’re sorry?” I ask, unable to hide my surprise. “I’m the one who should be saying sorry. I’m the one who lied and meant to hurt you.”

“Hey,” he says, and as he does, he puts his hand on my knee. “Don’t, okay. You had your reasons for doing that. And talking about it now isn’t going to change that. But you also said, if I remember correctly, that you changed your mind?”

“I did! I have!” I exclaim. “Seriously. You have no idea how stupid I feel for even thinking of doing that.”

“Hey. What did I just say?” He smiles at me. It’s a warm smile, and I can feel it radiate through my entire body. It gives me energy and life. “We don’t need to talk about it anymore. It’s not important. The only thing that is important is that I love you.”

“You love me?” I ask. I heard the words, but I am scared that I misunderstood. Or that it is a lie, aimed at hurting me.

“Yes, I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I say, resting my hand on top of his own.

For a second, the two of us stare at one another. I look into his eyes, and he into mine. I feel him inside of me. I can feel his love enveloping me.

He leans forward. I lean in too and kiss him. It’s a kiss like I have never felt. We have kissed a thousand times. We have had sex almost as many times. We have even made love before. But somehow, this kiss is different.

It’s raw and full of fire. It is both of us saying that we are sorry and both of us accepting that apology.

We kiss and kiss. His hands wrap around my waist and pull me in closer. I shuffle in and wrap my legs around him, straddling him. I press my breasts against his chest and feel his heart beat a million times a minute. I feel his warm breath on me as he kissed down my neck, licks my ear and nibbles me.

His cock stirs beneath me, pressing up between my legs. I move my hips forward and back, rubbing myself on it. It shakes and pulsates with each of my movements.

Raising my hands in the air, I allow for him to remove my shirt. I’m in my pajamas, so I don’t have a bra on. He buries his head in my breasts. He licks my right nipple before sucking the tight bud into his mouth. I undo his shirt and return the favor to him. His right nipple hardens in my mouth. His left stiffens as I pinch it.

His hands are still wrapped around my ass, and he begins to help me grind. Back and forth, I rub myself on him. His dick is so hard. It wants to be free. I move my hand down to his cock and give it a squeeze through his khakis. I unfasten them, and his cock bursts forth.

My hand wraps around the head, stroking it. He groans as I do. I lick my hand and wrap it around his shaft. Up and down, I move my hand. Up and down. He falls onto his back, and I remove his pants. I move both my hands around his thick length. I stroke him. I rub his balls and play with his shaft.

He suddenly sits up, lifts me into the air and lays me down. I raise my ass and allow for him to remove my pajama pants and panties. He takes both my legs and rests them on his shoulders. My breathing increases as I brace myself for what is about to come.

Soft kisses cascade their way down my thighs. They’re wet and give me goosebumps. I shudder with each one, and my body shakes as his lips get closer and closer to my aching core. He pauses just above it. I can feel the hot air dancing off it.

He looks up at me. Our eyes meet. He smiles, and I return it. And he goes down on me.

I moan as his tongue pushes between my lips. I groan as he licks inside of me. I scream as his lips wrap around my clit and sucks. It feels incredible. He sucks and licks, and I scream and moan. I run my hands through his hair, holding him in place. I don’t want him to stop.

But he does. He lifts his head and smiles at me again. He moves himself up to me, leaving me on my back. His hard cock brushes along my leg as he gets closer. He reaches me, and we kiss deeply. His body is pressed against mine, and I can feel him breathing.

He looks me deep in the eyes, holding my stare. “I love you,” he says.

“I love you, too.”

He penetrates me, and I throw my head back and let out a scream. He slides all the way into me, up to the hilt. His hands wrap around my thighs and pull me in. I wrap my legs around him and hold myself there.

And we make love.

It’s slow and intimate. It’s tender and passionate. It’s soft and caring. And it feels perfect.

He holds my eyes as he continues to penetrate me. I don’t blink. I stare into them, into his soul. The sex is incredible. The love making is out of this world. I pull my eyes from his to kiss him deeply, but then fall back and continue to stare.

We come together. We don’t say a word or signal that we are ready. I feel myself coming, and as I do, I feel him coming inside of me. Together, the two of us climax and scream and moan and kiss some more.

Blake rolls from me, heavily out of breath. I snuggle up to him, wrapping myself in his arms. I kiss him on the chest and on the neck. He kisses me on the forehead. I love Blake, and I swear to myself now I will never question his love again.

Chapter 47

BLAKE

The sun shines in my eyes as I blink myself awake. It takes me a second to realize where I am. I’m certainly not in my own bedroom. I look to my side and smile when I see Carrie, laying there, sleeping peacefully.

Yesterday was amazing. Not just the sex, either. But the fact that we made up. The fact that we have both told each other how we feel. There are no more secrets, no more hiding. From here on out, it will be smooth sailing.

As I lay in bed watching Carrie sleep, I suddenly realize that it was only lunch time the previous day that the two of us made up. That means that we slept for eighteen hours. I was tired from the previous night, having been up the whole time thinking about Carrie. Clearly, she had been in the same boat.

My stomach lets off a roar, as if deciding to remind me that it exists and needs sustenance. I am sure that Carrie will be the same. In fact, as she is with child, there is every chance that she will be absolutely famished when she wakes.

I smile to myself as I come up with an idea.

Very slowly, I slide out of bed. And as quietly as I can, I cross the room, open the door, and exit, leaving Carrie to sleep.

I make my way downstairs. It’s a Sunday, so the chefs aren’t in the house. I’m glad of that. This will give me an excuse to surprise Carrie all on my own.

I’m actually a pretty good cook and used to love doing it back when I was young and broke. But as I’m always busy now and I have the money, I have someone do it for me. But not today.

I am going to make Carrie breakfast, a delicious gesture to show her how much she means to me.

***

I’ve been going at it for about forty-five minutes. I’m making her a traditional English breakfast, with a few surprises. These include muffins, a fruit platter and smoked salmon with rye bread. Breakfast will be ready in less than a minute. I don’t relish the idea of having to wake up Carrie, but hopefully, she forgives me when she sees what is waiting.

“Hey, handsome,” Carrie says from the doorway. I look up and smile when I see her. Talk about perfect timing. The two of us really are simpatico. “What have you got for me?”

“Just a little of this and that,” I say.

“Hopefully, more of this than that.” She leans around me and plucks a muffin off the tray.

“Hey!” I laugh. “Don’t disturb the chef. It will be ready in one minute. Go make yourself comfortable, and I’ll bring it out.”

She kisses me on the cheek and skips from the kitchen, laughing the whole way.

True to my word, the meal is ready a minute later. I carry it out, all balanced on a large tray and serve it up to the eagerly waiting Carrie. Once she has hers, I serve my own plate and take a seat opposite her.

“So, what now?” She asks as she bites into a piece of salmon.

“I don’t know,” I admit. “It’s a Sunday and it’s like seven, so we have all day to do whatever.”

“No, you misunderstand me. I don’t mean today. I mean, from now on. Where do we go from here?” She smiles at me.

“Oh, the big life questions?”

“Exactly.”

I smile at the question. I love that she is thinking of the big picture. That she sees herself as being with me, after the baby.

“Well, first, I think we need to concentrate on the baby. After that, I’m open to suggestions. Oh, and we definitely need to look into breaking your lease and ditching that apartment you call a home.”

“What? Why?”

“Well, if you live here, there’s really no need to have that place. It’s just money wasted. I suppose we could use it as a summer home, but I think we can do a little better than that.”

“You want me to move in here? Permanently?” There is clear disbelief on her face.

“Oh, sorry, did I not mention that? Of course, I do. Only if you want to, though.”

She looks at me, and I can see her mind working to come up with a witty response. But she isn’t able. Instead, she suddenly throws down her fork, leaps from her chair, runs around the table, and throws herself on my lap.

“So, I take that as I yes?” I laugh.

“If that’s how you choose to read it,” she says, shrugging. “I just needed a place to sit.”

I kiss her as I laugh, and she kisses me, also laughing. It’s a perfect Sunday morning, and I am really getting into being in love.

Chapter 48

CARRIE

The sun is shining on my face, and I have to blink myself awake. It takes a few seconds for me to realize where I am, but then I feel him, underneath me. It’s Blake’s breathing that woke me, not the sun. I’m sitting on his lap and his rhythmic breath, up and down, up and down, rocked me awake.

After we ate breakfast, the two of us made love again. It was deep and passionate, like the day before. And as we did, I rode him from the front so I could look him in the eyes the entire time. We never once broke eye contact, and as we came, we did it together.

But after that, we both felt a little worn out, hence the nap. Now, as I sit in Blake’s lap, I never want to move. The only thing that is making me even consider it is the idea that this is now my home and that I get to spend the rest of my life with him.

Very slowly, I climb from his lap, making sure not to wake him. Once up, I walk around the house, taking it all in. I have walked through this house a hundred times before, but never like this. It used to always be as a stranger, knowing that one day, I would have to go home. This time, though, I see the house in a whole new light.

I look over the walls and floor. I look at the decorations, the paintings and wall hangings he has. Some I like. Some I don’t. The entire house is in need of a makeover to change it from a bachelor pad to a family home. As soon as possible, too.

It’s as this thought hits me that I suddenly get an interesting idea. I bite my lip as I ponder it, wondering if it’s too early or not. A part of me knows that I should wait, at least a few days, but another part wants to start straight away.

Making up my mind, I hurry across the house to Blake. A little too excited now, I shake him awake.

“What?” He asks as he sits up, wiping his eyes. “What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

I don’t respond. Instead, I look down at him with a wicked smile.

***

“Are you sure you want to do this today?” He asks me, glancing away from the road for a second and looking into my eyes.

“I want to do this last week,” I say back. “So really, I’m running terribly late.”

The two of us are on our way to my old apartment so I can get the rest of my things and leave that life behind.

When he asked me to move in with him, or told me that I was, I could not believe it. A part of me still can’t. Maybe that’s why I’m so excited to get started on the move right away? When you want to start spending the rest of your life with someone, you want that to start as soon as possible.

“Okay, but my Aston Martin can only take so much.”

“Then we’ll just throw out whatever doesn’t fit,” I say quickly.

“Really?”

“I don’t think I can emphasize how serious I am being.”

He smiles and nods, keeping his eyes on the road. I reach across the car and stroke his face. As I do, he takes my hand, and kisses it. He is mine, and I am his.

***

“So, all of this, we’re throwing out?” He asks.

Piled in the middle of my apartment are stacks and stacks of my old things. There are clothes I never wear anymore, cutlery, crockery and other kitchen utensils I don’t need, and other bits and pieces I uncovered that I had forgotten I even owned. Essentially, it is all disposable.

“All of it,” I say.

I’ve already packed the car full of everything else that I need, and honestly, there isn’t that much of it. Most of the stuff that I do own and want is already at his, our, house. The rest is a remnant from a past life that I am eager to forget.

“Okay, so should I light them on fire here, or should I carry it outside? That way we can have a bonfire and dance around it while it burns?”

“Or option three. We can call someone to come and throw it out for us?” I suggest, trying not to laugh.

“Well, it’s not as fun, but it’s definitely more efficient.”

“Come on.” I walk across the apartment and scoop up a small box on the floor. “Let’s go.”

“Goodbye, apartment,” Blake says as he walks to the front door. “You won’t be missed.”

He walks out first, and I follow him. As I turn to close the door behind myself, I pause and look back into the small apartment that I once called my home. It’s funny, but I used to not mind this place, apart from how small it was. It was never impressive or grand, but it was my home, and for that, I loved it.

But now that I look at it, I see it for what it is. Cold, small and run down. Not the kind of place that anyone should have to live in. But I smile to myself when this realization hits me. The fact that although I once lived here, I no longer do. It’s a representation of my old life, of the person I used to be.

“Are you coming?” I hear Blake call from the car.

I take one final look inside the apartment, shaking my head as I close and lock the door. That part of my life is over. I walk down the sidewalk, seeing my man leaning against the car. He smiles and waves, and I smile and wave back. He is my new life, and I can’t wait for it to begin.

Epilogue

Six Years Later

CARRIE

“Are you doing okay?” Blake asks as he drives. He isn’t looking at me, but straight ahead at the road.

“Yeah, I’m fine. No. Better than that. I’m doing great.” There is a quiver in my voice, and even I don’t believe the words I am saying.

“Ah, I wasn’t asking you,” he says, smirking. “I was asking Ben.”

He glances into the back seat where our son, Ben, sits. Ben is five years old and, in my opinion at least, gets more gorgeous every single day. Like his father, he has all dark features, and his breath-taking blue eyes. I just know that when he grows up, he is going to rival his father in the looks department, too. But he has my smile.

“Oh, right,” I say, and I shake my head. “Of course. How are you doing back there, hon?” I lean back to look at him. “Everything is fine?”

“Yes, Mommy,” he says, and he giggles. “I’m excited!” He looks it, too.

I’m a nervous wreck and have been all morning. Well, I have been all week really. It’s Ben’s first day of kindergarten, and Blake and I are taking him there together. I try to tell myself that this is all part of the process and is actually a good thing, but I’m still having a hard time coping.

I just can’t believe how quickly time passes. It seems like only yesterday that I was at that reunion. That I dropped those glasses, and Blake bent down to help me clean up. I still remember looking into his deep-set eyes and getting lost in them. I still remember how nervous I felt when I saw him, and how I couldn’t believe it when he asked me out.

It all felt like a dream. And to be honest, sometimes as I lay awake at night and watch him sleep, I pinch myself, just in case.

“And you, too?” Blake asks. He reaches across the car, takes my hand, and kisses it as he always does when he wants to make sure I am doing okay. “You’re fine?”

“Yes,” I say. This time, I sound more convincing. “Of course, I am.” I glance in the rearview mirror, catching Ben’s eyes. He giggles and I smile. I still can’t believe how lucky I am.

As the doctor predicted, Ben came into this world on the fourteenth of February. I always believed that Blake and I were meant to be together, and everything that has happened since we first met has only confirmed this. Not only did we conceive Ben in our first week of trying, but the date he was born on was the most romantic day of the year. Even the birthing process was easy and as simple as it could have been.

Blake and I are perfect for each other in every single way.

The kindergarten is the best one in the area. Blake was insistent on that. We both had pretty average childhoods, and as a result, we are both dedicated to ensuring our son has the best of everything. That starts with education.

As I take my son’s hand and lead him through the parking lot to the main building, I work to hold back the tears. My only relief comes from the fact that as I look around the school, I see a gaggle of other mothers wearing the same expression that I know to be plastered across my face. It’s a hard day for all of us.

“I think it’s this way,” Blake says, half to himself, as we stroll through the building. It’s a beautiful school, and I have to work to not gape as we make our way to where we think the classroom is.

Everything looks to be brand new. The walls are all brightly painted, and the grounds are freshly mowed with blooming bushes. Even the teachers who stroll the hallways are dressed impeccably. If it wasn’t for the life I have been living the last six years with Blake, I would feel very much out of my element.

“This is it,” Blake says as he guides us into a small classroom.

It must be the place. There are dozens of other parents all standing around nervously. Not the kids. The kids all look excited at the prospect of going to school and making new friends.

“Can I go over there?” Ben asks as he tries to let go of my hand. I don’t even realize how hard I am gripping it.

“Oh, of course,” I say. I let go of his hand, and he instantly crosses the room to talk to a boy.

I nearly break down in tears again as I watch him. He is so outgoing, just like his father and I am so proud to watch Ben make friends as easily as he does. The boy he approaches looks nervous at first, but a few kind words from my son and the two are suddenly laughing and running around together.

“Okay, everyone,” a lady standing by the front of the room calls out. I guess her to be the teacher. “I’m afraid, parents, that it is time for you to go. Rest assured that your children are in good hands and will all be in one piece at the end of the day.”

“Come on,” Blake takes my hand, going to lead me out of the room with the other parents.

“Just a sec. Let me say bye.”

A small pair of arms wrap around my legs. I look down and smile to see Ben giving me a hug. I ruffle his hair and bend down. I wrap my arms around him and give him a big, motherly kiss on the cheek. To my delight, he doesn’t cringe or try to avoid it.

The tears are now flowing thick and fast down my cheeks, and I don’t even care.

Blake takes my hands again and pulls me from my son. He smiles at me and kisses me on the cheek. Although he isn’t crying, I can see the red in his eyes.

Blake was the one who wanted to have a child in the first place. The day we found out we were going to be parents, I can still remember how happy I was. I can still remember how happy Blake was. I have never seen him so full of joy. Even on our wedding day, I don’t think he was on the same level of happiness as that day.

He is a great father, too, and I have never, not once, regretted the decision I made. I often think about the day he asked me to have his child and what my life would be like if I had said no. Whenever I do think about it, a cold shudder runs down my body, and I quickly push the thought to the back of my mind.

The ride home is a somber experience. It’s the first day in five years that I haven’t spent with Ben. Since the day he was born, I have spent nearly every waking moment with him, and the fact that I am about to arrive home to an empty house makes my heart hurt.

“Hey,” Blake says as he navigates the car. “He’s going to be fine. You saw him. Like his mother, he’s just too easy to love.”

“I think you mean like his father, he gets along with everyone,” I counter.

“Hmm, remember that day I asked the doctor about the possibility of our son being some sort of super child?”

“I do.” I laugh, thinking back to the moment.

“I honestly think that between the two of us, we have managed to create one. The little guy is perfect in every way. How could he be any better? Tell me that?” He beams with pride.

“You’re right,” I say, and I smile. “He is perfect in every way.”

***

Indeed, the house feels empty as Blake and I walk through the door. It’s so big and open and without life. I am used to hearing the Ben’s giggling, and his little footsteps running through the house as I chase him, or as he hides from me. At this time, he is usually watching his favorite cartoon, which means that his laughter would usually be filling the house.

“It will get easier,” Blake says, noting my face. He always reads me so well and giving me a great sense of security. It lets me just be me, which causes me to want to be open with him – in all ways possible

“I know,” I say. “It might take a day or two, is all.”

Blake smiles at me. He walks through the house and into the living room. As he does, he unbuttons his shirt and removes it. “Hey, at least we have the house to ourselves.”

He turns to face me, wearing nothing more than a pair of black chinos. To his credit, fatherhood hasn’t affected him physically one iota. He is still just as intimidating and physically sexy as the day I met him. No… he’s even hotter. I know what he’s capable of, which gives him an edge I never knew existed before.

Dark tattoos trace his broad shoulders and run up his thick arms. His stomach is tight, and his chest is firm. He is a fine specimen, if I have ever seen one, and he is all mine. There isn’t anything I won’t do for him.

“That is a positive,” I agree. I walk to him, eyeing him with hunger. “But what can we possibly do with such an empty house?”

“That’s a good question.” I reach for him, and as I do, his hands wrap around my waist. I’m wearing a tight black dress that hugs my body, cut off at the knees and is suddenly feeling very, very tight and restrictive. “Any suggestions, Blake?”

“Just the one,” I say. I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him. He kisses me back.

As we kiss, his hands grip my waist and pull me in as close as possible. I can feel his breathing as we kiss. I can feel his heartbeat increase as my body presses against his.

My hands run up his naked torso, stroking his skin. I rest my hand on his chest. His nipple is between my fingers, and I pinch it lightly. I feel his body react as I do, and I pinch it again.

In one vigorous movement, he suddenly hoists up my skirt and lifts me into the air. I wrap my legs around his waist. We stand in the middle of the living room, devouring one another. I kiss his neck and run my tongue over his skin, loving the taste of him more than I should. His fingers disappear into my hair, and the soft tug he gives me is enough to have my body wet and purring.

I can feel his cock getting harder and harder as he presses tightly against me. I know him to be wearing boxers underneath his pants, and they are doing little to keep his manhood in check. I bite his lip, and I thrust myself against his thick erection. I want him inside of me so damn bad. I need it. Now.

He smirks and carries me to the living room. As we reach it, he leans forward and drops me gently onto the couch. The moment I am free of him, my hands go straight for his belt buckle. I can see his bulge now, yearning to be free. I eye it hungrily as I fumble with his belt. Finally, it comes undone, and the moment it is, I drop his pants.

His cock nearly hits me in the face as it springs from his pants. I waste no time, my hand wrapping around it. It pulsates in my grip, and I squeeze it by the base. He moans, so I squeeze it again. I lick my free hand and wrap it around the head of his big, erect cock. And, with both hands, I begin to stroke it. His thick head is wet with pre-cum, glistening for me.

I want to say something naughty, but I’m lost in the moment. All I can think of is fitting as much of him in my mouth as I possibly can. I want to impress him, drag him deep into a delicious pit of depravity with me.

I twist my hands and move them up and down. I lube up his dick as I work him in long strokes. His balls hang heavy beneath his erection, and fuck if I didn’t want to lean in and roll my tongue over them. So I do.

“Delicious,” I whisper roughly, talking more to myself than to Blake.

“Fuck,” he groans loudly and throws back his head, moaning in pleasure. I cup his balls, I run my hand over the tip, and I squeeze the base. I do everything I know he loves, and he reacts just as I expect him to.

He’s almost trembling with need. It’s a beautiful thing, and it leaves me feeling so damn powerful. I lean forward and take him in my mouth. In one movement, I slide it all the way in. I feel it pushing against my mouth and throat as I swallow it. Once it is in, I wrap my tongue around it.

I pull it from my mouth and swallow again. In and out, I swallow and release. I reach the head, lick it with the tip of my tongue, and swallow. It drips with lubrication, and the sounds coming from him are almost too much. My pussy pulses with anticipation of what’s going to happen.

I pull the entire cock from my mouth, and the second it is out, Blake takes my hand and lifts me to my feet. He spins me around and unzips my dress. It falls to the floor, and his hands wrap around my breasts. I’m not wearing any panties, and I can feel his cock pressing into my ass.

“You look so goddamn good,” he murmurs and runs his hands over my ass before squeezing my flesh. “I’m going to fuck you nice and deep right now, Carrie. Just like you like it, baby. Yeah?”

“Please,” I whimper and close my eyes as he strokes my back. His strong fingers reach the small of my back, and he pushes me forward. I comply, bending myself over the couch, my ass in the air, pussy sloppy wet, just for him.

I brace myself for his huge cock to bury itself inside of me, but it doesn’t come. Instead, I gasp as he drops to his knees, wraps his hands around my ass, and plunges his tongue inside of me. He enjoys eating me out more than any other man I’ve ever heard of, but I love it. I feel like so naughty when he forces me to take his aggression, but it’s only for him. Like a deliciously dirty little secret. I love it. I love him.

I have to grab onto the couch for support as my knees nearly collapse. He tongues my pussy exactly how I like it. First, he licks my lips, running up and down them. He now runs the tip of his tongue over my clit. He licks it slowly at first, allowing for it to swell. He wraps his lips over it, sucking it. Faster and faster. He sucks it to my breathing, to my movements, and to the way I moan and tell him to keep going.

He pushes his tongue inside of me, then out, and then in again. He moves his tongue back to my clit, licking it. He sucks it. He licks it. I scream, and he continues.

I can feel myself about to come. I can feel my toes tingling and my body shaking. There’s a fire in my belly, and it is slowly spreading through my entire body. Once it envelops me, I will come all over his face.

But he knows this. He knows my body. Seconds before I do, he pulls his face from me and stands. I let out a gasp of air, wanting him to keep going, but also wanting him inside of me. I want to feel his cock stretching me. I want him to fill me with everything he has.

I’m still bent over, and he rubs the head of his cock against my lips. He presses it in slowly, and then pulls it out. He rubs it again, and I moan.

I am about to reach behind, grab it and shove it in myself, when he does it for me. I gasp as it slides into my tight pussy. One inch at a time. I shift my legs open, giving him extra room as he continues to push his thick cock all the way up to the hilt.

Inside of me now, he slowly pulls it back until it is about to pop out of me. As it reaches this point, he pushes himself forward again, all the way to the base. In and out, back and forth, he goes. He starts off slowly, and I get used to it. He increases in tempo, and I groan in pleasure. He increases again, and I scream.

His hand comes down on my firm ass, slapping me. I scream again, and I tell him to do it again. He does.

He punishes me. Harder, faster, he moves. In and out, back and forth. I bounce, too, moving my hips in rhythm to his own.

It has only been a few minutes, but I can already feel myself about to come. It was always going to be this way. He knows how to bring me to climax. He knows exactly what I want and how to give it to me. But more than that, I know that he is close, too.

As he punishes me, I feel his movements become more erratic, more unstable. He stops sliding all the way out. He grinds me now. His thrusts become harder, faster, shorter. His hands grip my ass. One of his hands grabs my hair and yanks it down.

I feel the fire in my belly again. I feel it spreading. I feel his cock, pulsating, stiffening, about to explode. It feels so damn good swelling inside of me, pressing against my pleasure points and beckoning me to release all over him. He’s taught me how to let go of any of my shyness in the bedroom and give myself over to him. I love the way he dominates me and forces me to come over and over before he finally takes his turn.

We don’t need to say anything. There is no need for him to warn me or me to warn him. He knew how to make me explode, and I was damn good at returning the favor. We were made for each other, and we knew it.

Together, at the same time, we come. My body stiffens as an electric pulse surges itself through my body. I feel his hot, sticky load fill me up. My toes scrunch, my back arches and I scream.

And once we are done, once he is empty, he stays inside of me. We both fall forward on the couch. He kisses the back of my neck and strokes my hair. I take his hand in mine and wrap my fingers in his.

He pulls himself from me and lays on the couch so I can snuggle into him. I do just that. And together, the two of us lie on the couch, wrapped in each other’s arms. Sure, it’s going to be hard without Ben here every day, but I have Blake, and as long as he is by my side, everything will be okay.

Life is just too good, and I have him to thank for that. He’s mine and I’m his. Forever and ever.

Revenge F*ck

Revenge is a dish best served hot and sweaty

It started as revenge.

A simple way to punish my ex-husband.

Fucking his divorce lawyer, Eric.

It wasn’t supposed be anything more.

But when he touches me, it sets me on fire.

I don’t want to stop.

Yet how can we carry on when it risks my divorce settlement?

Maybe Eric is the one using me.

Screwing me and screwing me over at the same time.

What if I’m the one being played?

*** A steamy STANDALONE contemporary romance with a smoking hot hero. No cliffhanger, no cheating, and a guaranteed happily-ever-after.***

CHAPTER ONE

KATE

I could really use a margarita right now. Big one, shoved to the top with limes that have been marinating in tequila for three days, pink salt. Extra tip for one of those tiny umbrellas in the glass and a bartender who replaces the empty glass with a full one before I notice. Once I get out of here, I am going to have at least three. Bare minimum.

“I don’t think what we’re asking for is beyond the realm of reason.” This from the attorney in an expensive suit and tie. Although he is working for my ex, I can’t help but think about what the attorney looks like without his shirt. I have a feeling, deep, deep down, that he is very fuckable.

“It’s quite respectable,” he says with a hint of a smirk.

“Bullshit.” I mutter and innocently examine my nails. Vivian kicks me under the table but I don’t acknowledge it. That would require me to look like I give a shit and shatter the illusion I’m concocting.

“We both know that isn’t true.” Vivian bares her teeth in an unfriendly grin. She looks like a shark in pinstripes, which is precisely why I hired her. “There is a long-documented relationship and partnership between my client and yours. What you are offering is laughable at best.”

“Documented how, exactly?” the lawyer smirks again. “The internet? We both know a few tabloid photos aren’t admissible in court.”

“We’re not in court, Mr. Stevens. We’re in mediation. Surely you remember there is a difference?” Vivian turns to cock an eyebrow at our mediator, a staunch older woman with a severe librarian bun and laser beams for eyeballs.

The woman doesn’t say anything and scratches a few notes in her notepad. If I was footing the bill for this nonsense, I’d be livid. It’s my ex’s money, David’s bank account, the one under lock and key, that was responsible though, which means I don’t mind wasting as many hours as margaritas I am waiting to drink.

“This all comes back down to your client’s insistence,” the sexy asshole lawyer says, “that there be no prenuptial agreement. My client recommended it for protection of all parties and your client declined it. By law, she isn’t entitled to anything beyond what we are offering. You won’t find better with a judge.”

“Bullshit.” Vivian and I say in tandem. She comes off less bitter than I do.

“A marriage isn’t a business contract, Mr. Stevens.”

“Quite the contrary, Mrs. West. That’s exactly what it is.”

Repeat. Ad nauseam. Every day until I fall over dead. The sexy asshole in the suit sits across an over-glossed table and rattles off reasons why I should be thankful they are offering pennies left in the corners of a cavernous bank account. My shark lawyer calls him an asshat and tells him to try again. Robolibrarian glares at everyone and sighs heavily because no one listens to her.

And then there’s David, my ex. I don’t look at him because I don’t want to ruin my shoes. At this rate, who knows when I’d be able to afford a new pair. He’s staring, though. Intently. Like a lion on the savanna who can’t quite determine if he’s hungry or horny.

Knowing David, it’s both. He’s a terrible lion, among other things.

We’ve been separated for over a year and unhappy for much, much longer. The divorce papers have been long drawn up. But David never signed. And now here he is, dragging me into mediation and demanding a rewrite before he’ll sign. Because in a vulnerable, drunken low point of my life a few weeks ago, David showed up on my doorstep and I was dumb enough to sleep with him.

Now he’s using that mistake to reopen the settlement. Claiming that we shouldn’t be divorced at all, and that our marriage is active and loving and something to be cherished.

“Kate is instrumental to the McArthur brand and you’ve been unable to provide any reasonable proof she isn’t.” Vivian taps her pen cap against the yellow legal pad resting between her lap and the table’s edge. Instead of notes about the mediation session, she scribbles pictures of David losing his head in a variety of ways.

David is abnormally silent. His eyes drag across my skin, leaving me prickling and uncomfortable. Once, it was exquisitely sexy. He was enraptured by my presence and I felt confident, strong, wild. Now I feel like a bug under a large magnifying glass.

Eric Stevens, bane of my existence, leans his elbows on the table so his well-tailored sleeves strain against his muscles. This, despite all the raging bullshit erupting at the table, where allegedly apathetic third parties argue over my livelihood like it was a toddler soccer match, is my favorite part of the whole thing.

“What do you want, Kate?” David interrupts my spiraling daydreams. “Why is nothing ever good enough?”

For the tiniest moment, I falter. We didn’t talk anymore. Words dried up between us the day I found him cavorting through my office naked with the maid.

“David.” His name sours my tongue but my features remain smooth as silk. “I want you to jump off a cliff and eat shit, you miserable motherfu—”

“Okay.” Robolibrarian claps her hands. “This is going nowhere.”

The suits go back to arguing and I go back to fantasizing. It’s the only way I’ve been able to get through these sessions without being drunk or high. Eric Stevens, smarmy asshole, is an obnoxiously sexy smarmy asshole: high cheekbones, square jaw, eyes brown like chocolate, and a toothpaste smile half of our town paid handsomely for. If he wasn’t so bloodthirsty, he would have made a great actor. Instead, he gets his jollies off by harassing me in this stuffy office twice a week.

My daydreams evolved from make-out sessions on his desk to crawling across the table, Whitesnake-style, and ripping off his jacket. All while David watched. His stupid face would freeze in terror while I hiked up my skirt and mounted his jackass lawyer. Nothing sweet, just a good old-fashioned fucking as we smeared sweat and body fluids all over the lacquered table.

“The whole point of these meetings is to avoid a trial over assets.” Robolibrarian’s voice cuts through. “If you aren’t willing to compromise, why the fuck are you at my office?”

“Good question.” David and I say together.

I bet if David watched me fuck his lawyer, he’d like it. He sucks, so of course he’d like to watch someone else plow me. From what I’ve learned in our previous counseling sessions, it’s what he really wanted anyway. Maybe I should have taken him up on those offers so I could have had a good lay for once in my freaking life.

My daydreams resume. Each time smarmy lawyer Eric opens his mouth, I slap it shut. I make him obey my every whim and tell him I’ll only stop if he says the safe word.

“What’s the safe word?” He gasps, so turned on by my feminine wiles he can barely breathe.

“I’m not telling.” I laugh coyly and rip off his pants.

Vivian nudges me to signal this blood bath is finished, for now. Sitting in a chair while someone who doesn’t even know me paints me as a trampy gold digger after my asshat husband cheated and lied and stole everything away from me is unbearable. Mentally banging the opposition was all that got me through it. Vivian knew it and did her best to lead the conversation while I mentally fucked Eric Stevens into a corpse.

Or probably something less gross, if I weren’t so desperate for him to die in a fire, David burning next to him.

We take a separate bank of elevators on the other side of the floor even though David hangs back with his attorney to suck up to a mediator who isn’t going to sway me into settling. Vivian slides out of her heels as soon as the door closes and sighs.

“He’s a dick.”

“Limp as the one in his pants.”

“My condolences. What happened today?”

“Whitesnake. It was amazing.”

“Whitesnake? That is some serious white people shit.” Vivian coughs through a laugh. “Next time, wear a low-cut shirt. Maybe he’ll only screw you mentally from now on.”

I grin. “Oh, it will be my pleasure.”

CHAPTER TWO

ERIC

“And boom goes the dynamite.” Paxton slides a tray of shots to the middle of our table and drops to his seat. “Drink up, gentlemen, for tonight we celebrate.”

“You gotta cut that 300 bullshit out, man.” I grab a glass and a salted lime. “No one thinks it’s cool anymore.”

“Your mom isn’t cool anymore.” Geoff snickers next to me. We cut him a look and he quiets down. No one ever invites him formerly, yet he’s always here.

“To the boards we passed, the broads we fucked and the bros we know.” Paxton holds out his shot glass.

We clink glasses and shoot the tequila. The two pathetic excuses for men at my table suck the lime but I throw mine over my shoulder. Geoff frowns, Paxton roll his eyes and I shrug.

“Tradition, fuckers. Deal with it.” I gesture with the hand now holding a neat whiskey. “I need eight more of these. Becky! Another!”

The waitress shoots me a wink and disappears behind the bar to work her magic. I only come here for Becky and her huge ass crammed into tiny shorts. It’s the highlight of my fucking day, no matter what day it is. I could win the lottery and quit my job tomorrow — Becky would still be my crowning glory.

“One of these days, boys, I’m going to take her home. Maybe Tamara too,” I say, but as the words leave my mouth the image of Kate sitting across the table today pops into my head from out of nowhere.

“I don’t think Becky or Tamara would appreciate you sleeping with either of them, being that they are coworkers.” Geoff’s face screws up again and I briefly consider, for the hundredth time, why we let him play with us in the big leagues.

“Being that I don’t give a shit, I think you should shut your goddamn mouth.” I flash a bright smile at Becky as she slides a whiskey on our table. Her tits graze my arm as she leans over the table. “I’ve got the next round, Becky. Load up these assholes so I don’t have to listen to them anymore.”

“Ol’ Scrooge is prying open his bank vault tonight? Did someone swallow your dick on the way to the bar tonight?” Paxton eyes me over his glass but he points to Becky for another.

“Nah. This McArthur case is open and shut, and that means cash money, boys. That fucker better pay out quick.”

“You’re working the David McArthur divorce?” Becky gasps a little. “The director? Isn’t his wife some humanitarian? That’s you?”

“Of course. Who else do you think would be badass enough to take on that titan’s empire?” I spread my arms wide. “You really think there’s another lawyer with half the balls I’ve got anywhere in Los Angeles?”

“Uh, hello.” Paxton clears his throat. “My name is Paxton and I routinely kick your ass in court.”

“Shut the fuck up. Don’t listen to him, Becky. He’s criminal, I’m family. We only see each other in court when he’s crying in his shoes about losing another client to the system and I’m walking happy clients back out to their cars.” I throw my arm to wave him off a little too hard and knock into a busty blonde. “Oh shi—”

“Eric Stevens.” Her eyes narrow before I can fake an apology about getting her shirt damp. “I thought that was you.”

“I’m — sorry?” I look over to Paxton, but he’s got no fucking clue who she is either. However, when an opportunity presents itself… “Pardon me, miss. Can I buy you a drink to make up for ruining your very lovely shirt?”

“Fuck you.” She tosses her hair and storms off, shaking her ass with an extra pop. My head cocks sideways, watching her walk away, and someone swats me.

“Don’t worry, Becky. Your ass is nicer.” Really, I’d have to compare the two, but one should never insult the waitress with a heavy hand and a spotty memory.

“Always the charmer.” Becky laughs with a bite and leaves us.

“Rebecca.” Geoff leans over.

“Is your stage name?” Paxton and I fist bump.

“The girl? The blonde. Her name is Rebecca. You took her home last month, probably fucked her, and probably never called her back.”

I had no recollection of this whatsoever. “Probably.”

“What about that those two over there?” Paxton nods across the small bar to a pair of brunettes gesturing rapidly with wine glasses, telling some sort of animated story I didn’t care to follow.

“They look like your type.”

“All women are our types.” Paxton says, slamming his palm on the table. “Becky! Wine!”

Becky doesn’t look impressed when Paxton points to them, but I don’t need to wow her. A few loose compliments on a slow night and I could have that jealous frown wrapped around my cock in the bathroom in a hot minute. Becky is a hot back-up and these ladies are hot de novos. But for some reason, I’m not in the mood for any of them.

“Which one do you want?” Paxton asks. Geoff scoffs and busies himself in his phone, which is in his best interest if he doesn’t want me to knock him out. This is Man Hour, not toddler fucking playtime. “I kinda dig in the one in the red.”

I shrug.

The waitress feeds a bottle to the table before Paxton goes over to say hi. Generally the top priority is making sure they aren’t too drunk to cause trouble and are as hot as they look up close as they do far away. There is such a thing as Distant Hot.

“Ever think about acting like a decent human once in a while?” Geoff tosses out, still not looking up from his phone. “You know, being loyal and shit?”

“Loyal?” I roll my eyes and lay a heavy hand on his shoulder. He shrugs me off but I put it back with a tight squeeze. “Geoff, let me explain something to you. I bust my ass eighty to ninety hours a week while rich fucks in Hollywood divorce their arm-candy wives or their trophy husbands to go fuck the mailman for the rest of their fucked little lives. With me in the goddamn middle of their bullshit. Once a week, I let my dick loose. I earned that shit.”

Though I know that tonight my dick is staying in my pants, but Geoff doesn’t need to know that.

“Whatever.” Geoff slides out of the seat and throws a twenty on the table. “I’ll see you next week.”

“Whatever.” I shoot him the finger as he walks away and drain my glass.

“Eric fucking Stevens.” The blonde is back, blocking my way. “What are you doing back here?”

Over the top of her head, I can see Paxton pathetically striking out. The one in red actually hands the wine bottle back, mostly full. They look angry. But there’s a blonde with tits hanging out of her dress directly in front of me, oozing desperation.

“Rebecca! I thought that was you but you ran off so fast. I’m so sorry about your shirt.”

“You don’t remember me.” She’s fighting to look angry, but it’s an act. Saying her name was the magic key. Maybe having Geoff around wasn’t so bad, after all. “You were supposed to call me back.”

“I wanted to. I lost my phone on the subway when I went to New York the next week and lost your number. I’ve been here waiting for you to show back up so I could get it!”

She balls her fists in my shirt. I hold my hands up slightly and get ready to launch a joke when she holds up a hand.

“Save your shit, Stevens. You deleted my number and never wanted to call back. That’s fine. I know your type. We’re going to back to my place anyway and you’re going to lick my clit until I decide I don’t want to look at your face anymore.”

My face cracks into a grin. Even when I’m not in the mood for a fuck, a woman throws herself at me.

CHAPTER THREE

KATE

“And now release into Savasana. Feel the breath leaving your body, wave by wave.” Anna’s silky voice drifts across the room. Her words stick to my sweat-coated arms as I try to relax on the foam mat.

“I hate you.” Lily whispers from the corner of her mouth next to me. “I hate you so much right now.”

“The feeling is mutual.” I whisper back, eyes closed, feeling very much like the corpse this pose called for. “We are never doing this after a night out again.”

“I’m never drinking again.”

“Liar.”

“Your face is a liar.”

“Savasana requires silence, ladies.” Anna gently reprimands us from the front. I’m surprised she hasn’t booted us from the class already because we are forever being lectured. “This is a time of reflection and peace.”

I swallow the sharp laugh welling in my throat. There is no peace for me right now. Anna can’t even feign ignorance because my entire life is pasted across every news outlet and magazine on the planet. Who doesn’t love a good Look How They’ve Fallen story?

Everyone stares at me when I walk into yoga every week as is. They know. They know there is no peace while they gossip over their mat rolls and bare feet. In the way they sneak glances across the room, to see if I’m crying again during our breathing exercises.

I should probably stop coming here. Forever. The hangover doesn’t help.

Anna hits the gong to signal the end of class and everyone shuffles to their feet. I can feel their hot gazes as they leave. I become more corpse-like than ever. Lily chats with a few as they leave, gathering our things so I don’t have to talk to anyone.

“I think it’s time to reconsider a private instructor.” Lily sits next to me once the room is clear. “Fuck David. I’ll pay for it.”

“I would never ask that of you.” I roll to sitting and stretch my sore muscles. My stomach clenches because it’s still angry and everything is hellish. “Besides, neither one of us have a room to crank up the heat to expel the demons or whatever bullshit Anna is hocking this week.”

“I never said Anna.” Lily scoffs. “Someone sexy and bendy. Someone who will guide your body from pose to pose, with big hands and a bigger—”

“Got it.” I stop her. “Let’s not. I’ll die. If I don’t get laid soon, I’m probably going to combust.”

“What about…” Her voice trails off before I can shoot her a death glare. “Never mind. So, we find a hot private instructor who is also willing to be friends with benefits. Let’s be real, there are probably a million of them.”

“Terrible idea. He’ll go running to the press and then everyone will talk about how it’s been confirmed that David McArthur’s money-grubbing ex-wife is a total slut who is trying to bankrupt his empire so she can fuck yoga instructors all day on the beach.” I cut a glance to her. “I mean, I’m not saying I wouldn’t enjoy it. I’m just saying Vivian would literally murder me in my sleep.”

“Fuck David.” Lily helps me up and hugs me tight, our slick arms sliding against each other. It’s gross and I don’t like hugs, but I guess the distress was more evident than I thought. “He’s done enough whoring around for the two of you.”

“For half of Hollywood. But when you’re some big shot director with an Oscar or two under your belt, the world appears to give you a free pass.” I exhale heavily and rest my head on her shoulder. “They are so terrible, Lily. Mediation is going to kill me. It’s so pointless and I swear we’re only doing it because he wants to wear me down. He thinks I’ll bend to his will because he slides me a stupid check. He doesn’t understand it’s not about the money.”

“I know.”

“I was there, Lily. I supported him for years. I worked on sets when no one else would. I made contacts and set up events so he could crawl his way to something prominent. He’s clearly talented, but that fucker would still be stuck in Wisconsin if I hadn’t introduced him to the right people.”

“Maybe you should have left him in cow country.” Lily wrinkles her nose. “You could have shacked up with some hot-shot actor instead.”

“I’d be in the same spot. This whole town thrives on drama, sex and lies. Why do people even get married? It’s bullshit.” I zip my bag with extra fervor and narrowly miss catching my finger in it. “The only upside is his hot lawyer. I spend every session daydreaming about doing terribly dirty things to him while David watches.”

“The ultimate Fuck You.” Lily nods her approval. She’s the best friend. “I can dig that. Who is his new attorney? Didn’t you just meet him this week?”

“I did. David doesn’t like decent humans who don’t condone his shitty behavior.” We step out into the bright sun and my stomach clenches again. I need to remember reliving my college days is a terrible idea. Shots and Kate no longer mix. “Eric Stevens is the latest asshole lawyer.”

“No.” Lily stops and grabs my arm. “You did not just say who I think you said.”

“Are you still drunk?”

“That guy, oh God, Kate.”

“What?” Fear makes my stomach worse. Celebrating sending another guy running from us at the bar last night really was the worst idea ever. “What?”

“Remember when Maggie and Tim split?”

I nod. We didn’t see Maggie for months after their divorce. She left the country with her money and refused to show her face again in any of our usual haunts. It was more than the tabloids circulating their personal life, because it was just another slice of life around here, but something truly terrible had happened and she refused to ever speak of it. Not even after a bottle of Chardonnay to loosen her lips.

“Eric was Tim’s lawyer. Unless there are two of them running around Hollywood, he’s the same guy who ruined her. She lost everything.”

“I remember. Are you sure it’s him, though? I thought he worked with David’s old guy and that’s how they were paired up?”

“Definitely him.” Lily shook her head and took my hand. “You need to be careful, Kate. He’s ruthless. He’s a life-ruiner. He’s just as vile as David, except he uses the law, instead of his dick, to make things worse. Though maybe also his dick, word is he’s a serious man slut. Maybe we need to keep you hidden for a while. Just camp out at your place until this is over.”

“I’m not going to stop living my life, Lily.” I pull back, a swirling mess of confusion and defiance. “David isn’t going to control me anymore and if he thinks he can do it by using this guy, he can fuck right off. Vivian is amazing and he can’t touch me anymore.”

“He can’t.” She nods, trying to soothe me. I push her off. “But Eric can.”

I shake my head because I can’t think of anything else to say. If David thinks he can smoke me out or ruin me with his little attorney, that’s fine. I tried to play this as friendly and fair as possible, just like when he convinced me not to sign the prenup to protect the money I inherited from my grandfather years ago. But I’m wiser now. If he wants a game, he can have one.

CHAPTER FOUR

ERIC

I unlock my apartment and head straight for the washroom. I’ve been chugging water for the last hour and looking forward to this piss for twice as long.

I wasn’t going to bring anyone home, and even passed up a threesome. Hard to do when it’s been sitting on my bucket list since high school.

My heart wasn’t even in it tonight, which was both unsettling and frustrating. I’m on my way to bed when a phone rings. Not my personal phone. My piece-of-shit work phone.

I pause to listen. Every client gets their own ringtone so I know how urgent I must deal with their shit. The song loops the Beastie Boys’ “Hey Fuck You”. David McArthur, that fat fuck billionaire who thinks because he shoved his wallet into some superhero movie series, he now owns the sun and my balls.

The ringtone dies as it kicks over to voicemail. I close my eyes and count to three. Maybe, just maybe…

And if you don’t like it, then hey, fuck you

So put a quarter in your ass ‘cause you played yourself

Fuck that guy so hard. It’s three in the morning, on the weekend, and he’s lighting my phone up like a Roman candle.

It goes to voicemail again. I’m not even back in the living room when it starts ringing again. I’m going to have to change that goddamn ringtone.

I’d like to block his number altogether, except McArthur does own my balls, to some extent involving a lot of dollar signs, and I’ve got to handle his shit right now.

I call David back. Because leaving a message at three in the morning is beyond the realm of reason for this fuckwad.

“You better not be fucking any whores.” David says as a greeting. “This case is serious.”

“David, it’s three in the fucking morning.” I shove a little grit into my voice. “What can I do for you?”

David launches into a ten-minute rant about fuck knows what, because I’m not listening. I can tell he’s drunk and just looking to start shit, which means this is an utter waste of my time that still falls into billable hours. Check and mate, asshole.

“Are you even fucking listening, Stevens? The fuck do I pay you for?” David slurs.

“Right here, David. Right here. That’s tragic.”

“So, what I’m saying is….” David drawls to a silence for the first time.

“We’re going to win this.” I assure him, pouring a straight glass of whiskey from my bar cabinet. “You want me to make sure she goes down hard and I will.”

“Get all the dirt you can.”

“Dirt is my middle name.” I immediately wince, because even I feel like a douche for saying it. “Get some sleep, David. I’ll take care of everything.”

“Fucking-a right.”

He hangs up. I toss back the entire glass of whiskey and look down at the glass. I should bill David for it.

I boot up my laptop and resume an image search of Kate McArthur. It can take a while to sort through, but everyone tends to have dirty laundry on the internet if you look hard enough. My job is to look hard enough. I pour another whiskey.

Some fifty pages in, I find a series of topless photos from a beach trip six or seven years ago. Either David changed his hair and his whole damn uglyass face, or she was kicking it in Turks with another guy. Every last photo goes into the McArthur folder on my desktop. I’ll have to cross-check the dates, but if I can get an established history of infidelity, it’ll be a huge score on my part.

Most of the images are really too blurry to be of any use. I start another search for Kate in Turks and stumble across a jackpot: dozens of them, some with great views of her tits. One thing I never understood was how someone as fucking sexy as her ended up with a twat like David. Forget leagues, he’s not even on the same planet as Kate McArthur.

I zoom in on one of the clearer photos. She’s mid-laugh, flashing all her teeth and a set of dimples. Her hair is a mess, tits are in full view. They are my favorite kind of breasts: round, full, perky, with small pink nipples. They look like little old-fashioned candies you eat right off the paper.

Whiskey gone, dick hard, naked tits in front of me. Before I realize it, my cock is out and I’m fucking myself. I run a finger across her digital nipples, wondering if they’d be as sweet as they look. Her whole body was firm, tight, but looked soft enough to plow into.

I love fucking soft women. A quick mental picture of my cock sliding between those glorious tits and I am done for, shooting cum across my table and keyboard, involuntarily grunting louder than I had intended.

I save the photo in a separate, hidden folder on my desktop. For later. Just in case.

CHAPTER FIVE

KATE

Every week is a nightmare scenario. It’s hard to remember it’s only been a month since David demanded the divorce papers be rewritten, because time slips through my fingers like grains of sticky, terrible sand. Some days, it feels like only three days passed. Others, a lifetime.

Robolibrarian tries for a stronger hold on mediation this week. She’s fielding questions, posing possibilities, establishing scenarios. My head hurts and I don’t feel like playing along, so I don’t.

Today, Eric the asshole lawyer and I are mentally involved in another series of compromising positions. I’m wearing a black leather bodysuit, crotchless for when I want him to touch me, and carrying a whip. Every time the real asshole says anything I whip imaginary him.

Dream Eric is tied to a chair, a ball gag dangling around his neck. I pick up the weight of it in my hands and let it drop against his Adam’s apple. He winces and the words stop once more.

“Can we stop this pretentious bullshit?” Vivian says, her voice floating through my daydreams like an overhead announcement at the yoga studio. “We have a long-documented history of David’s marital transgressions.”

I smack Dream Eric across the cheek with the handle of my whip. He hisses as a sharp red mark blossoms across his cheek. I grin, watching the fear behind his eyes. His lip trembles.

“I’m sorry, Mistress.” Dream Eric whispers.

“Little asshole,” I grab a fistful of his dark hair and yank it back, exposing his throat. “You won’t talk to me that way again.”

“Yes, Mistress.”

“There are no innocent parties in a divorce.” Real Life Eric is talking again. Daydream Eric’s mouth moves, but his voice is different, confident, cocky.

I really, really hate Real Life Eric. Especially for being so bloody sexy.

Bondage has never been an interest of mine before, it was something that always horrified me. David tried once, bringing home an arsenal of crotchless panties and a thick leather strap-on. I slept in one of the guest rooms, feigning the stomach flu to get out of it.

We didn’t have sex for weeks after that. Our sex life was always terrible but that was a new level of awful I didn’t want to explore. Now, though? Surrounded by this filth?

Bring it on.

But only with the hot lawyer, because the idea of sleeping with David ever again is enough to make my stomach crawl. Dream Me slaps Dream Eric across the other cheek. To prove a point.

My phone vibrates, pulling me fully out of the daydream. I don’t check it right away, but look around to see what I’ve missed. Vivian and Eric look like they’ve forgotten we’re even here. They are fully engrossed in their argument, pulling out pictures and scribbling notes on yellow pads.

Vivian’s notepad, instead of drawings, is full of angry capital letters and heavy ink underlining words I can barely make out. Mediation has taken an abrupt turn, and I’m not sure how or why.

Robolibrarian’s hair is as severe as normal, but her face is especially grim. It doesn’t make me feel any better. Through this whole thing, even with her remaining angrily silent in previous sessions, I had the impression she was on my side.

I didn’t do anything inherently wrong. Maybe I didn’t use the crotchless panties and maybe I refused counseling the last time, but David and I had tried four other times in our marriage. Wasn’t I allowed to say I wasn’t comfortable with certain sex acts?

David is staring at me with a look I wish I could forget. He winks and lifts his phone slightly. My phone vibrates again, reminding me I have a text. My throat is dry when I unlock it under the table.

Wanna fuck after this?

I stare at it for a solid minute, my face a plastic mask of indifference, but inside I am roiling. The nerve! After everything that happened? He cannot be serious. We’re in this stupid room because he liked to fuck anything with legs that wasn’t me and he has the audacity to proposition me?

With a quick click, I lock my phone and pretend I didn’t see it. Let him think I got a text from someone else. Entertaining that shit is out of the question.

I close my eyes and straddle Dream Eric. His whole body is tense and his face open. He’s waiting for me to make the next move. Dream Eric wants nothing more than to pleasure me. I smack him with the whip again and a tear falls down his face.

“I’m sorry, Mistress,” he whimpers.

“Sometimes sorry isn’t fucking good enough, Eric.” I pause, frozen by the words fresh from my lips. “I mean, Asshole.”

“Yes, Mistress.”

My lap vibrates. These distractions are becoming a real problem.

You look really sexy in that dress. You want me to fuck you in it. Right here on the table.

I repress a shudder and take a deep breath to still the churning in my stomach. Back in dreamland, I smack Dream Eric again. He likes it, though, his eyes hungry and desperate. I guess I can give him what he wants — just a taste.

I recline on the table and spread my legs. He pushes himself closer to me and drops his head between the black leather. Like a good little submissive, he looks to me for permission. I make him wait, make him smell me without tasting, and finally nod.

“You will put that dirty mouth to good use.” I order him.

Vivian slams her palm down on the desk and I jump. Real Life Eric and David the Fuckface don’t look shaken by it. Instead, they have almost matching wry smiles. They feel the upper hand. They feel me losing.

I, on the other hand, feel a panic attack bubbling in my chest.

“I think we are done here.” Vivian neatly stacks her papers and notepads. She shoves them in her briefcase with a layer of cool that could betray even the most detail-oriented observer. “This is obviously not working. The point of mediation is to settle outside of court, gentlemen. If you are incapable of meeting us on anything, this just means we’ll have to proceed. Your client needs to evaluate what this means for his career.”

My phone vibrates again. I don’t want to check it. David stares straight at me, waiting like a terrible lion. I stare back and rest my phone on the table. We never break eye contact as I recline in my seat and cross my arms.

The smile on his face wavers for a moment but he returns to his phone and pecks out another message. The phone vibrates again, rocking around the table. Vivian glances over, reads my phone, and turns a pointed stare at David.

“That’s private.” David says it with bite but keeps his face placid. It’s a Hollywood trait we all learn quickly.

“I find it interesting, Mr. McArthur, that you are refusing to acknowledge how instrumental Kate has been to your professional career, and how important she was to you personally, while you are propositioning her via text message.”

“I agree. I think we’re done here.” Real Life Eric stands and buttons his jacket. “Since your client is unable to see what she’s requesting is outside the realm of rationality, we’ll just need to take this to a judge.”

“So it appears.” Vivian stands and motions for me to follow. “Mrs. Crofton, thank you for your time.”

Robolibrarian stands with the others but says nothing. Her face is unreadable beyond the frustration. She’s a mirror of the storm swirling in my brain.

“What the hell?” I hiss to Vivian by the elevator. “I thought our best chance was for this to go well in mediation?”

“Not anymore.” Vivian jabs the elevator button with extra vigor. “Save those text messages. We’ll need them. Every scrap of evidence he cheated. Anything that could be misconstrued as infidelity. Phone records. Everything. It is imperative we take him down at the knees. Understand?”

“Of course.”

“I’ll try to take down Eric while we are at it.”

Somewhere in the dark corners of my mind, an idea hatches.

CHAPTER SIX

ERIC

“Shots on the house, boys.” Becky offers me a wink before running off to another table. I give it a sniff and wince. Tequila. I hate tequila, but if someone else is paying, I’m not passing.

“Just take Becky home already.” Paxton clears his throat. “I’m tired of watching this cat-and-mouse shit.”

“And ruin everything? Pass.” I clink his glass and shoot the tequila. Lime goes over my shoulder and I look Geoff in the eye while doing it. “If she falls into that woman scorned bullshit, our reign of free drinks comes to an end.”

“So date her.” Geoff says. He sets his lime rind in the empty glass and folds his arms. “Or maybe leave her alone.”

“Shut up.” Paxton rolls his eyes. “You’re the most single motherfucker I’ve seen in this bar, so it’s not like you’re a sage of wisdom.”

“I’ve had plenty of girls.” Geoff puffs himself up. “Plenty.”

At this, Paxton and I laugh heartily. I pretend to wipe a tear from my eye and clap him on the back.

“That was a good one, man. Don’t let anyone ever say you aren’t funny.”

“Fuck off.” Geoff growls and sips his beer. “How does McArthur put up with your shit?”

“McArthur and Eric? They’re one and the same person,” Paxton smirks at his own joke.

“Oh, you can die in a fire.” I point to Paxton and flick him off. “That guy is a real piece of garbage. I chase tail, he chases the goddamn devil. Don’t put him on my level. He wishes he was as badass as I am.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re a saint among men.” Paxton waves me off. He leans forward, waggling his brows. “You hook up with his wife yet? She’s fine as hell.”

“She is.” I lean back in my chair and sigh heavily, picturing her in my head. That topless photo of her had become a favorite in the middle of the night. “But I’m a man of honor.”

“Bullshit.” Both of the assholes at my table say. They clink glasses and Geoff looks smug.

“He’s a pain in my ass, though. He catches second wind at three in the morning and blows up my phone. I haven’t slept more than four hours in two weeks. Tonight, I’m going home and sleeping through the entire weekend. Turning off my phone. Money be damned.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Well, call the press because Eric Stevens is closed for the next two days. If I don’t get some sleep soon, I’ll die and lose out on the paycheck. This mediation bullshit is nothing more than a three-day-long guilty plea, man. We’re going to win. So I’m going to sleep.”

“For you.” Becky hands me a whiskey. I take a sniff and am immediately impressed. This is good shit, way better than anything she’s ever brought us. It almost makes up for the tequila.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” I take a sip and close my eyes to enjoy.

“Not from me.” She winks and walks away.

I immediately survey the bar. This week, none of my old conquests are lining the walls, and no one takes credit for it. When life gives you free whiskey, though, you fucking drink it.

“It could be poisoned.” Geoff offers after I drain the glass.

“Fuck off, Geoff. No one likes you.”

Five minutes later, Becky returns with another glass.

“Who is it?” I ask, taking the glass. “Show her to me.”

“Who says it’s a she?” Becky teases and leaves.

Paxton claps loudly. I mull this over, staring at the brown water that saves my life every weekend. Taking it up the ass is not my style, but I’d gladly share a bottle with the dude if he wants to keep sending it my way. I toss the drink back.

“I need to move to family law,” Paxton marvels. “Every one of you fuckers has liquor falling from the sky, wherever you go.”

“It’s a shit pit. You don’t want in it. You’ll end up jaded like the rest of us and resist relationships to fuck everything that moves. On second thought, maybe you should.”

A third drink is put into my hand. This time, Becky nods toward the end of the bar. I’d know that body anywhere. Kate McArthur. The beautiful brunette in a screaming red dress is spending a lot of time studying the beer list on the back wall.

There is a certain power to whiskey when it crosses my bloodstream. Instead of whiskey dick, I become invincible. Sex for hours, up all night, luck at the casino. Name it, it happens. Suddenly my plan to sleep the weekend away no longer looks appetizing.

“I thought you were going to—”

“Geoff, none of us like you. Go home.” I toss Paxton a two-fingered salute at my temple and skirt around the full bar tables to the vixen responsible for feeding me booze. “I understand you like good whiskey.”

Thick curls I can already envision wrapped around my wrist bounce as she turns around with a smirk.

“I knew you wanted me.” I drop into the seat next to Kate McArthur. Without David mouth-breathing next to me, it’s easier to check her out. She looks better than she did six years ago on that topless beach. “But this is pretty brazen.”

“I know you think this cocky asshole routine is cute, but it’s really not.” Kate tosses back with a flirty smile.

“I’m not the one buying you drinks.” I spin the half-empty glass on the bar and give her a hard look. “You can’t buy me off, no matter how good the whiskey is.”

“Who said I was looking to buy you off?” She checks her phone, bored. “You looked like you wanted to kill your friend over there and blood makes me nauseous. Your kind usually shuts up with a little booze.”

“I don’t think you know anything about my kind.”

“Try me.”

It’s a threat. It’s an opening. It’s a heavy suggestion. Her eyes are heavily lined and her lips are as red as her dress. Everything about her screams fuck me.

“If you fuck me, I’ll nail you for infidelity.”

“Ridiculous. Everyone knows we’re getting divorced. We’ve been separated for a year. It means nothing anymore.” Here, she sounds a little bitter. The mask shifts just a bit. Everyone in Hollywood has their tells. “Besides, everyone in town knows you like to sleep with your clients’ exes.”

“Who says I’m interested in you?” I stand and lean over her. She smells sweet, tinged with something dark. It’s my favorite smell. “Who says I’ll take your whiskey and then let you touch my dick?”

“I think you hate David as much as I do. Wouldn’t it be worth it, then? Fuck him over by sleeping with me?”

I don’t like where this is going. I grab her chair and spin her around to face me. I hook a finger under her chin and pull her up to look at me.

“What are you trying to pull? I’m smarter than you, Kate. Don’t cross me.”

“You don’t scare me.” She breathes.

“I should.”

She pulls something out of her tiny purse and sets it on the counter. She shoots the rest of her glass and stands so we’re almost humping already. I can feel every inch of her pressed against me and my pants run tight.

“I’m in room 1275.”

“I’m not going to sleep with you, Kate.”

“I never said anything about sleeping, Eric.”

I palm the key and stick it in my shirt pocket. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

CHAPTER SEVEN

KATE

Making good decisions is one of those things I always grappled with: what, exactly, made something a “good” decision or a “bad” one? Everything is so subjective and someone’s moral tailspin doesn’t always jive with mine.

Consequences aren’t always bad things, either. Maybe going to jail for a weekend keeps someone from getting into a car wreck or hides them from a serial killer. Maybe a house fire frees a family from financial burden. Maybe getting caught in a compromising situation means a jackass named David can finally abandon the wife he kept for publicity more than anything, and paying out millions is just a means to an end.

You know. Whatever.

I stare at myself in the soft hotel bathroom lighting and take a deep breath. What I’m planning could sit on either side of the moral decision spectrum. Legally, I’m still a married woman. Legally, this could be considered adultery. Legally, my lawyer would probably kill me.

But David has already broken our bed. We are already separate, independent entities. We are only tied together in name and tree scrapings, nothing else. There is no more weight to this marriage that ended over a year ago.

“Shut up. Stop thinking so much. Put on the goddamn lipstick.” Lily yells at me over speakerphone. “God help me, woman, if I need to come up there and do it for you, I will.”

“He might get off to that.”

“Probably. But no.” Lily makes a gagging noise. “I’m not getting involved in your mess, Kate. I’m just the instigator, the enabler. You put that nightie on, swipe on some lipstick, and sex-kitten your hair. Fuck that man like you’ve been fucking him in your daydreams.”

“Aren’t you supposed to talk me out of this?” I sigh and line my lips. I almost feel cheap, like I’m selling myself. But wouldn’t that mean I’m in charge of my own agency? That’s almost empowering. “You aren’t supposed to coerce me into it.”

“Shut up. How much alcohol have you had?”

“Enough.”

“Clearly not. I’ll have them send up another bottle.”

“Pinot Grigio, please. I don’t want to stain this thing.” I gesture pointlessly to the white lacy nightie I’m wearing. “My dry cleaner would hate me then too.”

“Everyone’s dry cleaner hates them. It’s a fact of life. Jamie will be up there in three minutes. Chug it and do the deed, girl. If you can pull this off, you’ll have the best revenge possible. We can watch David’s head explode together.”

“Chilled, please.”

“You’re lucky I love you. Three minutes.” Lily hangs up.

My best friend managing one of the swankiest hotels in Los Angeles comes with a lot of perks. Like private doors and free rooms and wine. I need a lot more wine.

A steward, nametag Jamie, shows up in exactly three minutes with a chilled bottle of Pinot Grigio. Not top shelf, but nothing to sniff at, either. I fill up a wine glass to the top and gulp it down while watching the clock.

Almost thirty minutes passed. What if he doesn’t show? That’d make for an even more awkward event in the courtroom.

“Oh, hello David. Hello lawyer I propositioned but was turned down by. Hello judge who now thinks I’m a whore.”

Like Goodnight Moon, but so much worse.

I’m halfway through the bottle, lounging on a lush chaise and envisioning my demise, when the door makes a clicking sound and swings open. Framed in the hallway lighting stands the man who has made me crazy for a dozen different reasons for the last several weeks.

“I didn’t think you’d have the balls to show.” I say, wine-brave.

Eric says nothing. He shuts the door and takes off his jacket, throws it on the bar near the door. Next comes his tie, effortlessly undone and flung over his shoulder. He advances on me like a panther: sleek, sexy, predatorial. Nothing like the big, bumbling, out-of-shape lion I’m used to.

I take another sip of wine to steady myself. No one has touched me intimately, in a way I enjoyed, in longer than I cared to admit or think about. Watching Eric Stevens advance on me like this has every nerve in my body standing at attention.

Is it hot in here or just him?

“I had some things to take care of.” Eric unbuttons his shirt and lets it hang, framing his impeccable washboard abs.

Abs I’d love to touch, lick, whatever. Forget the whole animal kingdom analogy, this man is carved out of granite like one of the gods they’d paint on pottery. He deserves a statue in his likeness.

Maybe this is all the wine talking.

Eric takes the wine bottle from my hands and presses it to his lips. He drains the rest of it and strips off his belt. His gaze burns through me. The pants drop to the floor and leave him in tight boxer-briefs.

“Can I get you a drink?”

“What are you offering?” I manage. I can only hope to remember this moment in the future so I can high-five myself over it. As it stands, my brain has gone near-hypothermic from the strip show going on before me.

He offers a cheeky grin that changes into a smirk and rests a cupped hand over his crotch. I’m drawn to it, desperate to know what lies under his fingers.

“You said you weren’t going to sleep with me.” I remind him. I force myself off the couch to regain a sense of self, some control over the situation. This is my game. I can feel him watching me now like I could feel him staring across that lacquered table twice a week.

“You said nothing about sleeping.”

I lean against the suite bar and bite into a cherry. It’s been so long since I’ve actually flirted with someone outside the bounds of cheesy Hollywood fakery that I’m not sure how to do it anymore. Maybe the wine was a bad idea.

“And giving me a blow job is not the same as fucking you.” His smile is dangerous this time. I could absolutely see why so many women succumbed to this asshole.

“What big dreams you have.”

Eric closes the space between us and surrounds me by bracing his arms on the bar. We are as close as we were in the bar, only this time there are far less clothes. His thick eyelashes open and close slowly and his nose gently touches mine. It’s an otherwise sweet gesture, but this felt entirely different.

“I’ve seen the way you stare at me, Kate. I can hear how badly you want me over the droning noise of the moron who is your ex.” He bites my lower lip and I feel myself melting underneath him. “I’m going to fuck you like I should have three weeks ago: on every surface in the room.”

Eric goes for my lip again and I’m about to give him everything he’d ever want, when I catch a flash of color on his cheek. I’d been so preoccupied by his striptease and the intensity radiating off him I didn’t see it until we were close enough to become entangled.

“Is that lipstick on your cheek?”

He doesn’t answer.

My chest tightens. Eric and I may not be in a relationship, this whole thing may actually hedge on a terrible idea, but it still sucker punches me in the gut. A bright red reminder of every night David came home smelling of another woman’s perfume and lipstick on his neck. Every time he tried to pass it off as something from the costume department.

“Get the fuck out.” I shove him off me. He stumbles back, anger and confusion blooming across his brow. “I said get out.”

“Kate, I don’t know what you’re trying to do—”

“Out!” I yell. I gather up his clothes and throw them at him. He shoves his legs in the pants, going on about how insane I am, but I don’t care. This was a terrible idea. I shouldn’t have tried this. “I said out!”

“I’m getting dressed, woman.” His deep voice snaps out at me. He looks like he wants to say more, but thinks better of it and storms out.

I think about falling to the floor in a dramatic fit, sobbing about how terrible my life is. Instead, I call Lily, tell her to send up another bottle, and eat every bag of M&Ms in the minibar.

CHAPTER EIGHT

ERIC

Every Monday morning is full of the same shit: closed blinds, dark shades and a gallon of coffee at my disposal. My booze expenses tripled since I took on the McArthur case and it’s almost enough to make me want to drop it. The only thing keeping me going at this rate is the number of bills I shoot to him weekly to make up for his three-in-the-morning drunken rants.

That asshole actually had the audacity to act offended last week.

“I thought we were friends! I was calling my friend.” David huffed. Likely still drunk. “This is bullshit, Eric, and you know it.”

“David, I’m not your friend. I’m your attorney. Now keep it in your fucking pants and stop calling me in the middle of the night if you don’t want to keep racking up fees. You know how contracts work, big guy.”

He hung up on me and then had a money order hand-delivered by his assistant. She had a tight ass and huge tits and is probably fucking him. She offered to suck my dick before she left. I told her to fuck off.

Still, Monday morning is a bitch. I dump half a carton of sugar into my cup and rest my head on my desk. I don’t want to be here.

“I wasn’t expecting you in.” Sophie squeaks, barging into my office. “I’m sorry, Mr. Stevens.”

“Why wouldn’t I be here?” I raise my head slowly because my heartbeat is threatening to blow my head clean off. “Aside from being half dead. Was there a meeting I missed?”

“Um, no.” She sounds confused. Sophie is the most competent legal assistant I’ve ever had, so it makes me uneasy. “It’s Sunday.”

“No it’s…” I grab my phone. “Goddammit, it’s Sunday. Why are you here on a Sunday?”

“I’m here every Sunday.” She says slowly. “You approve my—”

“Right. Right. Hungover. Sorry.” Now I feel like a first-class idiot.

“Do you want me to get you anything?”

I shake my head. She leaves quietly and I fall back in my chair. Of course it’s Sunday. I hit the bar last night with the boys on our usual day and ended up with Kate. Memories hit me in the gut, slowly piling back into place to fill in the holes from the night before.

She looked fucking fantastic in that red dress. Buying me drinks was a dangerous game and she looked ripe to play. And eat. I didn’t believe her for a minute, but when I opened the door she was sprawled across a chaise, dressed in lace like she was waiting for me.

My cock jumps in my pants at the memory. She was gorgeous, brazen. I fully intended to have her screaming all night and deal with the fucking consequences later. Something happened, though, and she flipped shit.

“Mr. Stevens?” Sophie pops her head back in. “I think you need to see this, since you’re here.”

She drops a stack of tabloids on my desk. David is on the front cover of every one, but a different girl is on his arm or in his lap. Every headline spews the same thing: David McArthur is moving on.

I run a hand through my hair and toss one on the stack. It slides on the floor and Sophie jumps slightly to avoid it. This asshole’s claim hinges on his plea that he still wants to make the marriage work, but he’s hopping around from bed to bed, making my life that much more difficult.

“You have…” Sophie clears her throat through a giggle. “You have something on your cheek.”

I wipe it off, still studying the photos. First, David needs to stay the fuck out of Hollywood and away from any camera. Second, I need Kate to start looking as bad as him. Right now, she’s all charity galas and yoga classes and sob stories at lunch with her girlfriends. If she wins the judge over with her tears, I can kiss my big bonus goodbye.

“It’s still there.”

I glare at Sophie. She grabs a tissue off the desk and moves to wipe it for me, but I block her.

“I’m a grown man, Sophie.”

“Right. Sorry, Mr. Stevens.”

“Draft a letter to McArthur and tell him to keep his goddamn dick in his pants. Tell him to leave the city for a few days if needed, but he’s under strict orders to not go anywhere or do anything unless I say it’s okay. And bill twice for this shit, because I’m tired of telling him.”

Sophie nods and hurries out of the room. Once she’s gone, I go into my office bathroom and flick on the light. It burns and my head hurts, but I see it right away. A smear of lipstick on my cheek.

More holes patch. After Kate left the bar, I stumbled into a small bachelorette party in the elevator. That was fucking fun. I wash it off and remember that was why Kate lost her shit: the lipstick. It’s not like I’m her new goddamn husband. I’m the enemy. Lipstick on my cheek shouldn’t mean anything.

None of this should matter. She’s hot, yes, but I have a lot of money riding on her sinking into oblivion. Just disappointing we didn’t get to fuck. I bet she’s delicious.

“The fuck are you doing here?” Paxton drops into a chair, dressed in dark jeans and a polo shirt. He got the memo it wasn’t a weekday. “It’s Sunday. Why are you wearing a suit?”

“Long story.” I ditch the jacket and roll up my sleeves, but I’d kill for a pair of basketball shorts right now. “What are you doing here?”

“Had to pick up some files for the Giraldi case. How did it go last night with the brunette?” He waggles his brows at me.

“She freaked. I had lipstick on my cheek or some shit from a bachelorette party last night.” I shrug. “All they did was kiss me for some scavenger hunt. I guess Kate’s just as crazy as David claims.”

“Fucking broads.” Paxton says.

“I concur. So, David’s being a fucking moron again?”

“Every goddamn day, Pax. This fucker can’t keep it in his pants for longer than a day. How he stayed married this long, I don’t know. The media is having a field day with this shit.”

Kate was a saint for enduring his fuckery, not that I’d ever tell her. None of these women could compete with her, either. They look like Los Angeles scum, half-naked girls trying to climb through the ranks of wealth and fame based on their fake tits and utter lack of personality. Kate has more than the body, she’s got class and passion and…

“I don’t know what to do with him.” I cut myself off and shake my head. Hangovers usually fuck with me, but this one seems especially bad. Why am I spending so much time thinking about Kate?

“You need to level the playing field.” Paxton shoots me a knowing look. “Kate needs to look as sleazy as David.”

I nod slowly, mulling this over. He’s right, and there are plenty of ways I could make Kate look like Hollywood trash. This case is special, though, which means only one thing.

CHAPTER NINE

KATE

“Should we put Titus Evans next to Charlotte DeVine? They play nice in public, but her publicist says she hates him.” Lily plays with the cardboard name plates on the magnetic whiteboard. “His publicist says everything is fine.”

“They can suck it up for an evening. Everyone wants to see them together. They did that Egyptian gods movie together last year, they can deal. It’s Hollywood. Nothing is real.” I throw a pen across the table and watch it spin.

Not like I’m bitter or anything. Not like this is a direct correlation to my life. No big deal.

“Well then,” Lily clicks her tongue and gives me her patented look. “Projecting much?”

I scowl and go back to moving pieces around the board. This town has more drama than the silver screen. Everyone hates everyone. Everyone slept with someone else’s agent or husband or girlfriend or boyfriend or sister or whoever. Grudges line the streets thicker than the stars in front of the Chinese theater.

“I’m just saying, if we need to talk about David…”

“No.” I immediately shut her down. “No. This is not about my hatred for David, okay? We clearly were a shit match and made each other miserable. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be in this situation. If I’m honest, I stopped liking the asshole more than a year ago. Still, there was a duty there, a respect there, and he violated it.”

“He did, because he sucks.”

“More than that. He’s a user, Lil. He used me for my money and my resources. Now, he wants to try to take everything. I thought, if nothing else, we were partners. We weren’t. He took advantage of my trust and my love. He convinced me I had nothing to worry about. He convinced me a prenup said we didn’t have faith in what we could accomplish. He convinced me he was loyal. He is a fucking liar.”

“Limp as the dick in his pants.” Lily agrees and raises her seltzer water in a mock toast. “He’s garbage and he’ll get what he deserves, Kate. It’ll take time, but it will happen.”

“It better.” I mutter and shove Titus and Charlotte together. “They are sitting together.”

“Okay, okay. Fine.” Lily makes a note in our notebook. “Everyone plays nice at charity galas anyway. If they don’t, people start to see the real them under the shiny Hollywood veneer.”

“That veneer sucks, too.”

I kick off my shoes and pace around the room, trying to focus back on planning for this event. I don’t want to think about David. I really don’t want to think about Eric and how good he looked with his clothes off in the hotel room. I most especially don’t want to think about how badly I wanted him to rip off my clothes until I caught wind of the lipstick on his cheek.

No one in this city is loyal. No one but Lily.

“Oh!” Lily snaps her fingers and shakes me out of my stewing. “The caterer confirmed they can do a raw bar. You know, for the petite actress looking to lose fifty pounds so she can play a twelve-year-old girl as a thirty-year-old woman.”

“Great. If they bitch about the food again, I might scream.”

Lily bites down on her straw and watches me pace. When I look over at her, her look intensifies. The same look that says, “I know what you are thinking”.

“What?”

“You need to get laid.”

“Tried that, remember? It failed miserably. Nobody wants Kate McArthur. They all want David. Story of my life. Now, can we get back to the seating arrangement?”

“You two aren’t married, Kate. Eric isn’t beholden to you.”

“I know that.”

“Do you, though?” She eases out of her chair and blocks my path. “I know you’re now laden with trust issues and that’s totally understandable, but you aren’t together. He doesn’t owe you anything. He probably thought you were trying to work the system.”

“That’s exactly what I was doing, remember?” Not like I’d like to sit here and rehash this again and again and again…

“Right. But you let those hurt feelings cloud your judgment. I know you don’t want to get hurt again. I don’t want that, either. But maybe the resentment is misplaced. Eric is a single guy who is notorious for sleeping around. He’s not David because he’s not promised to someone. You could go out and sleep with four different men today, and none of that would matter because you aren’t promised to any of those four, either.”

I frown at her. “I don’t like it when you talk sense to me.”

“You love it.” She kisses my cheek. “It’s why you keep me around.”

“That and you’re an excellent seat assigner.”

Lily curtsies. Hannah comes in with a massive flower bouquet and sets it down on the table. Two dozen stargazers — my favorite flower. My entire body immediately tenses.

“This was left for you.” Hannah grins at me. “No name on the note. I called the flower shop, though. They refused to tell me who it was, but did confirm it wasn’t David.”

“It could be his assistant.” I scowl, even though part of me is melting. David hadn’t sent me flowers in years, but when he did, it was always roses. I check the note. “Meet me at Descanso Gardens this Friday at five. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Lily and Hannah both stare, open-mouthed and start squealing.

“That is so romantic!” Hannah gushes.

“Fuck romantic, that’s sexy.” Lily grabs my arm. “What if it’s Eric?”

“Who’s Eric?” Hannah asks.

“No one.” We say in tandem. Hannah grins but steps out of the room and closes the door to give us privacy, because she’s the best assistant anyone could ask for.

“But seriously.” Lily lowers her voice. “What if it is?”

“That’s absurd.” I shake my head, unable to believe the man who glares at me across the table twice a week would send me flowers. “I mean, that’s insane… right? He only agreed to meet me because I bought him alcohol and he was probably drunk. I mean, he was drunk. We obviously couldn’t have sex and he probably, hopefully, remembers nothing.”

“Or. Or.” Lily draws the word out. “He was devastated that you kicked him out and is trying to seduce you now. You need to go!”

“It’s in a public place when the sun is up. I can’t do that.” I shake my head more to convince myself than anything else. Because I want it to be Eric and I want to go, but I can’t. “Vivian would kill me.”

“So be quiet about it. Wear a hat. Fuck him in the bathroom.”

“Lily!”

“Bathroom sex is hot. Or find a quiet spot around Descanso and fuck him by a tree or a pond. That’s super sexy.”

It is super sexy. My entire body runs warm just thinking about it. Having him throw up my skirt and press me up against a tree, or lay me down by the water and kiss my entire body while people walk past, none the wiser of what was happening? God help me, I’d die.

I take a deep breath so I don’t lose myself before my best friend.

“It has been a really long time.” I admit slowly. “I mean, a really long time since I’ve had anything good.”

“That last time with David doesn’t count. You need a good fucking. So go!”

I think about the night before mediation started, how he showed up and begged me for one last night together. How terrible it all was.

“Okay.” I nod slowly and slip the note into my wallet. “I’ll do it.”

CHAPTER TEN

ERIC

“Can you see me okay?” I shade my eyes and look across the park grounds. Unnecessary with my dark shades, but it added to the spy vibe. “Do I need to move?”

“I see you fine,” comes a slightly static-y voice over my Bluetooth ear piece. “I’ll go radio silence when she shows up.”

“I would hope so. The less she knows, the better.”

“I’m not an idiot.”

“Debatable.”

“I’ll remember that the next time you try to pull some shady shit like this.” Paxton chuckles, the static making him sound like a creepy circus clown.

“What the hell are you doing that’s making this connection so bad?”

“It’s fucking Descanso, man. It’s a signal blackhole. Way to pick some place terrible. This is further proof you’re a shitty attorney.”

“Fuck off. I’m turning this shit off. Just make sure you get some good shots.” I depress the button on my ear buds and drop them into my shirt pocket.

It’s been a while since I’ve pulled this sort of sting, and I only do it in desperate-measure situations. The women usually know it’s me in the photo and are too ashamed to say anything, but a few have guessed the set-up. I need pictures, not to be reported.

Kate, though, is a situation I still haven’t worked out. She’s been eye-fucking me for weeks, that was obvious. I’m much more covert about the entire thing because I’m a professional, no matter what the Attorney General likes to think. The late-night jack-off sessions to her naked beach pictures obviously don’t count.

But then she invited me to her hotel room. That isn’t unusual. The fact I can’t scrape her from my brain is. Probably because her ex is a giant douche who makes me look like the damn pope and everyone, everyone, knows she’s too good for him. Probably.

“I knew it was you, but that still doesn’t make this any less surprising.”

I turn to find Kate staring with a slight smirk, dimples already bright. She’s wearing leggings and an airy tunic with gold sandals and a floppy hat. Standard Los Angeles fare. It looks better on her than most of the plebes I’ve seen trotting through the streets.

“What gave me away?” I drop my sunglasses a touch to gaze at her sans filter. She’s flushed and beautiful in a way that pains me, but also lets me know this entire venture is going to be highly enjoyable.

“Just a hunch.” Her smile sparkles in the early-evening sun. “Are those for me?”

“A bit presumptuous, wouldn’t you say?” I hide a bouquet of flowers, identical to the ones I sent her, behind my back. “They are for a very beautiful, very deserving woman.”

“I’ll let you know if I see one around, then.”

I pantomime searching through the grounds and walk in a small circle. When I stop in front of her, I give her a lengthy once-over and present the bouquet.

“I’ve searched far and wide for a beautiful, deserving woman. These are for you.”

Kate laughs quietly and accepts the flowers with a curtsy. I extend my arm and she takes it, like two lovers going on a stroll. It is exactly the look I’m going for, but I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I am.

“Where are we going?”

“Not far.” I say vaguely and glance at her again from the corner of my eye. She’s wearing oversized sunglasses and a floppy hat, presumably as some sort of cover. I feel like I should be carrying a cane. It would certainly come in handy in the bedroom later.

We stop at my favorite secluded area of Descanso. A full picnic spread is laid out with a chilled bottle of wine, a cheese platter and strawberries. I didn’t know what was in it until I set it up because I made Geoff put it together.

I told him I had a hot date and he was on it like fish on a hot dog. Little Geoff is very easy to manipulate. Kate doesn’t feel the same way. There is an iron gate up between us. Which is to say, she’s very different from the other exes I’ve banged.

I shake it off and offer her a place to sit.

“Fancy.” She sits down delicately. Everything about her looks so purposeful, important. She’s more than gorgeous with a sharp tongue, she’s intentional. I don’t like it.

“I thought it was fitting.” I sit next to her and pour two glasses of Pinot Grigio. “I understand this is your favorite? I noticed a few bottles at the hotel room.”

“Oh my God.” Kate’s hands fly to her face and she looks mortified. “I was hoping you wouldn’t remember any of that.”

“Quite the contrary.” I lean in and clink our glasses together. My gaze remains trained on her, hot and pressing. I want her to really feel it. “I dream often about how stunning you were on that chaise. My only regret is how badly I botched it.”

“I guess you didn’t understand.” Kate clears her throat and takes a big gulp of wine. “I’m sorry about that. The whole situation shouldn’t have happened. Like right now.”

“Why?” I lean in a little more, telling myself it’s just for the pictures. “What’s wrong with right now?”

“You’re David’s lawyer.” Kate deadpans. “You’re the enemy.”

“You’re just looking at it wrong.” I brush a thick strand of hair from her shoulder and her cheeks redden. “In a courtroom? Maybe. I’m only doing what I’m paid to do, just like your lawyer. Vivian and I are friends outside of the office. You and I can certainly be the same.”

“Is that what all this? Being friendly?”

I offer a deep, quiet laugh and run my thumb across her cheek. She sits frozen but I can hear her heartbeat racing. My pants tighten as I breathe her in. She smells like sex and promises. She smells like I want to taste.

The things I want to do to her under these trees. Forget the crowds. I would gladly splay her before God and country to run my tongue across her lips.

“I think we both know there is a lot of tension between us.” I whisper in her ear and she shivers. “And I think you deserve to have a real man work your body. My pathetic excuse for a client wouldn’t know where the clitoris is if he had a map.”

“True.” Kate whispers.

“I’ve felt the way you stare at me in the office, Kate. I don’t give a shit about clients or money or cases. Right now, I want to give you what you’ve always been lacking.”

She’s silent for a very long moment, eyes closed and breath still. She finally licks her red lips and turns to look at me, bright blue eyes shining, but untrusting.

“I know your reputation.”

Internally, I groan. Sometimes that reputation comes in handy, like random girls at the bar knowing how big my dick is. This was less than desirable.

“My reputation means nothing. You want a clean slate. I want to be the eraser.”

“Why.” It’s a demand, not a question. I like that.

“Because you’re too good for that sack of shit. Because I’ve been dreaming about making this body shiver under mine for a month, Kate.”

She leans in, our noses practically touching, our breaths shared. Her eyes go hooded and soft, like I’ve finally punched the winning combination to unlock her Pandora’s box.

“I have a room around the corner.”

I grin. “I’ll drive.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN

KATE

We are on each other before the elevator doors close. Doubts flooded my mind the whole way here, but every hesitation melted the moment he pressed my shoulders against the elevator walls.

“I’m going to destroy you,” he warns. His eyes are dark, a growing storm looming within him. “I’m not gentle. Not in the courtroom, not in real life, not in the bedroom.”

“You don’t scare me.” I whisper back.

“I should.”

“Déjà vu.” I offer a small smile, but the rest of me is wound up tight, waiting for his next move. “Maybe I need danger.”

He stares at me, intense and full of meaning I don’t yet know. His jaw works for a second, mulling over the things he wants to say to me, but nothing crosses his lips. Instead, his mouth claims mine.

And

I

Dissipate.

There is no other word, no other sensation. Everything in my brain, for the first time in months, becomes silent and dark. In this tiny elevator car, my world hits the reset button. He is rough, just like promised, but there’s an undercurrent of sweetness there.

He fists my hair and we kiss like we need oxygen. We kiss like it’s the only way to keep the Earth spinning. We kiss like it is the single thing we’ve been lacking in our lives for entirely too long.

It’s terrifying. It’s perfect. I need more.

We tumble out into the hallway. I grab his hand with a grin and pull him to the left, past the gilded picture frames and the art pieces the hotel swears were contracted by local artists but were really bought en masse from China. It is the perfect metaphor. We pass the fake shit dressed in gold to indulge in something real.

If he fucks with the same fervor he kisses, anyway.

Eric stops me from using the card key, his hand engulfing mine, pressing me to the door. His other hand slides around and grabs my ass. His body presses against mine, the hard length in his jeans making a sizable impression. Slowly, he lowers our hands until the card key opens the door. He walks us back into the wall and hurls the key across the room.

My tunic dangles from the chair no less than ten seconds after we cross the threshold and his hands grasp my breasts. He squeezes and hefts them like fruit he’s considering for purchase.

“I pictured you as more of a leather girl.” He murmurs in my ear. “All this lace doesn’t feel like you.”

“Everyone knows I’m a lace girl.”

“The real you.” He growls and my bra follows my tunic.

“You don’t know the real me.” My lip quivers but my voice is steady. It betrays every cell in my body, the ones yearning to be lost in the sea that is his.

“I can see the you you think you hide.” He bites my lower lip. “You are translucent before me, Kate.”

“And what do you see?”

He holds my gaze again and runs a finger down my cheek. Instead of answering my question, he picks me up and lays me on the bed. Eric kisses my collar bone, the valley between my breasts, my stomach. His mouth hovers over my center just long enough to make me crazy. He slowly exhales over me, warmth covering my most sensitive spaces, and kisses my stomach once again.

Eric goes back to my breasts, rolling each nipple between his fingers. He plays my body like a piano, fingers gently tapping out a beautiful melody across multiple keys at once. It’s a moment longer before his mouth takes my nipple.

It’s instant euphoria. I can’t hear anything, see anything, feel anything other than his tongue and teeth flicking across each nipple in rapid succession. One of his arms slides under my torso and the other works my leggings until they are off my body, leaving me completely exposed.

“It’s not fair that you’re still clothed.” I breathe as his fingers dance down my skin until they brush my pussy lips. “We both need to be naked. I want to see you.”

“You only see what I want you to see.”

He leaves my breasts and finally touches where I want, need, him to touch. His tongue parts my lips and his teeth claim my clit. Tears well up in my eyes from the pain, but it’s intoxicating. Every lick sends my body into a frenzy. Every suck and nibble pushes me closer to the edge building within, a winding series of knots and ecstasy threatening to undo me in a moment.

Then his mouth is gone. I pry open my eyes, breathless and desperate to find where he went. Eric straddles me, naked. The man undresses faster than any human I’ve ever met. He also is every bit as muscled and structured as I pictured in our sterile afternoons together, carved into a level of perfection unlike anything I’d seen.

Pristine abs and those delicious lines lead me like bread crumbs to his cock. It demands all my attention. Large, thick, with veins in all the best places. The head stands above the rest, a large candy waiting to be sucked.

Before I can reach for it, he slides a condom over the top and rolls it on with one hand. His hands run over his length twice, showing off. Never once does his gaze break from mine. A show just for me.

Eric grabs my legs and flips me onto my stomach. A heavy hand trails down my spine and I lift my ass in the air. He knocks my legs wider and teases my opening with his head. This simple gesture confirms he’s bigger than anyone I’ve slept with.

There’s no time to worry, because he slides himself into me with a force that bumps my head into the cushioned headboard. He works us into a rhythm, in and out, back and forth. His fingers find my clit and he rubs me slowly.

With every other partner, clitoral stimulation has been the only way for me to get off, but the mere presence of Eric’s cock in my body has me on edge. His fingers only made it better, icing on the cake.

Eric pulls me upright by my hair, just enough to keep him deep inside. His hand grips my breast and he uses me as a handle to thrust harder than ever. It only takes a few thrusts in this position to send me flying.

The orgasm almost pops up out of nowhere, surprising me with the sharp intensity and heat. It is easily my best orgasm ever. Waves rush over me, lasting almost a full thirty seconds before I can again feel my face. Eric thrusts harder, faster, until he’s grunting through his own orgasm. It’s so sexy hearing this big man who lives on intimidating the world come completely undone.

I collapse on the bed when he pulls out, trying to steady my heart. According to the clock, it had only been fifteen minutes, but it felt like a lifetime of bliss. An eternity of ecstasy. Nothing could top it.

“Don’t get too comfortable.” Eric gives my ass a slap. “That was only the appetizer.”

CHAPTER TWELVE

ERIC

Sweat drips into my eyes and down my nose as I throw a few more jabs. The harder I can punch, the better. When I don’t know how to deal with the shit in my head, I just beat the fuck out of something until it all makes sense again.

It’s also very handy when I feel the urge to strangle a client. Half my boxing gym is lawyers. Most stressful job in the country, you know.

Geoff winces behind the bag he’s holding. Good. I throw a few more solid hits and watch him jiggle and huff on the other side. He’s trying to be a good sport, pretend he can hang with the big boys when he definitely can’t.

This is the best possible scenario for today. Beat the fuck out of the bag to try to figure out why I can’t get Kate out of my head.

Nothing went to plan. As soon as I saw her, some alien took over my body and all sense of reason fled through the fucking window. I just needed compromising pictures. I didn’t need to follow her up to the room.

I wanted to, no doubt. Instead of keeping a cool head, remaining as distant from that shit as the moon is from the sun, I was buried in her. I lost myself in her body.

It was goddamn unacceptable. No one woman should get to me like this, ever.

“There he is.” Paxton tightens his gloves and throws a light punch at my shoulder. “There’s Casanova.”

“Fuck off.” I throw the hardest punch yet and Geoff stumbles back. “Don’t you have some skirts in County to chase?”

“Oh-ho!” Paxton plasters a shit-eating grin on his face. “Did I hit a nerve?”

“You can’t hit shit.”

“He’s a little on edge.” Geoff chimes in. I glare at him and he holds the bag. “Probably because he found a girl he likes.”

“Jesus Christ, Dr. Phil.” I throw my arms back to keep from punching him in the face. “Your job is to hold the goddamn bag, not attempt to discern my mood. In case we all fucking forgot, I’m currently at the beck and call of some goddamn asshole with too much money who makes my life a living hell on the daily. I’d like to burn some steam.”

“No, you’re right.” Paxton nods, sounding every bit like the dick he is. “You’re definitely beating the shit out of that bag because McArthur sucks balls. Or, clit, really. But you forgot who was your trusty cameraman out there, bro.”

I glare at him and go back to the bag.

“I’m just saying. We’ve done a half-dozen of those stings over the past few years and never before have I seen you so heart-eyed.”

“Did you just say heart-eyed?” Geoff scoffs. I pause to stare at him, to make sure it was really him who said it. “What? It’s stupid.”

“We’ll make a man of you yet.” I nudge his shoulder with my glove. “Kate is a difficult nut to crack, hombre. I did what I had to do.”

“I’m sure you did.” Paxton humps the bag next to me. “Was it good? Tell me it was good. Tell me she has a golden pussy. In my dreams, it sparkles like that strapless dress she wore to the Oscars last year.”

“Wouldn’t know. I have some decency, Jesus.”

“Bullshit. Bullshit! I bet you did her good and can’t stop thinking about it. I’ve known you for a decade, fucker. You can’t pull the wool over my eyes.”

I wipe the sweat from my forehead on my arm and shove my glove into his chest. “Got something to say, Pax?”

“Oh, shit. You’re hooked on this broad.”

“I will annihilate you in the ring. Don’t think I won’t.”

“Is that what you really want?” Paxton still has the stupid grin on his face. He rolls his shoulders and hops from foot to foot. “Come on, pretty boy. Think you can hit me while you’re all up McArthur’s slut’s vag?”

Anger surges through me, hot and raw. Anger at Paxton. Anger at David. Anger at myself. I turn on a heel and go for the ring without another word. Two scrawny guys are dancing around, but I throw an elbow at one and they clear out quick. I’m not sure what exactly is steering this fury, but I know I’m going to kick Paxton’s ass for it.

“Talk it out, bro.” Paxton taunts me and throws a punch I easily duck. “Do you need a manicure while we are at it?”

“Only if your sister sucks my dick afterwards.” I throw an uppercut and he blocks it.

“That was real creative. High-class insult, Stevens. I’m embarrassed for you.” Another punch thrown. This time he hits my jaw, but not hard enough to send me back. “She must really have you twisted.”

We dance around the ring, throwing punches and shit talking. The most unnerving part is somewhere in there, Paxton is speaking a truth I don’t want to hear. That night in Kate’s hotel room was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. It wasn’t just fucking a client’s woman. I collect weeping wives like timepieces. I’ve just never felt something during it.

When she was under me, arms clasped around my neck, staring at me like I was the answer to some need she’d never had fulfilled, I got hit in the chest with an emotion I hadn’t felt in years. This is the kind of shit I swore off my first year in the courtroom because I saw how relationships ended.

I saw how people dissolved and fell apart and hated each other. I saw massive fortunes dumped into the accounts of adulterers and cheaters. I saw careers end. That shit’s not for me.

But all I wanted to do, tangled up with her, was stay there. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want her to go. I wanted that night to stretch on. I wanted to watch her walk out to the balcony, wrapped in white linens, over and over. I wanted to feed her grapes for breakfast and fuck her some more.

It is goddamn unacceptable. I need to sweat out whatever the hell is brewing in my veins because I’ve got a job to do. She can’t be the end of everything.

“Come on, Eric.” Paxton taunts again. He nails me in the jaw, hard. “Why are you so off your game? What happened with that girl?”

“I don’t know.” I grit my teeth and land a few good ones on Paxton. “You can let it go now.”

“I’m your best boy. I don’t let things go.”

“You’re my best boy because you let things go, Pax.”

“False. I’m your Jiminy goddamn Cricket. And I’m here to tell you to get your dick out of that girl and focus on your job.” He launches after me, endless punches flying my way. “Otherwise, you’re going to watch your whole damn career crash and burn.”

This, more than anything, fans the flames tearing through my veins, and my jaw sets into a hard line. I’m not going to lose anything because of this woman, not matter how badly I want her.

“Get your shit together.”

I turn, deadly calm, and land a full knockout blow to Paxton. He stumbles backwards and falls on his back. I lean over him.

“Eric Stevens always has his shit together.”

I leave him in the ring.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

KATE

Lily pours an extra-large glass of Malbec and slides it my way. I take it and steal a sip while seamlessly finishing my recount of the night with Eric. Wine isn’t going to detour this nonsense.

“Was it amazing?” Lily gasps. “The sex you’ve always needed?”

“Yes.” I drop my head to my chest and heave a large sigh. “God, Lily, it was amazing. The best sex I’ve ever had, hands down. He always acts like such a fucking asshole, but he was someone entirely different in bed. I mean, he was still cocky and arrogant and demanding, but there was a touch of something… softer. I don’t know. It was intense.”

“I’m getting chills. That’s incredible.”

“Not incredible! Terrible! He’s David’s lawyer, Lily. He’s the enemy!”

“Are you sure?” Lily eyes me skeptically over her glass. “Because you two apparently have some sort of crazy chemistry straight out of tinsel town, babe.”

“That’s all bullshit. Lights, music, soft filters, costuming and some poor assistant running around with mints for bad breath. That’s not real. What happened two nights ago was… something else entirely.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

“God no! Yes. No. I mean, maybe?” I rub my forehead. “This is all so bad. So bad. But it was so good.”

“Did you… you know?”

My eyes light up and I bite my lip as I cross through my apartment and rummage around my desk. I find the jump drive in the bin with my pens and hoist it in the air. My prize, my trophy for a night of sex with the sexy evil attorney.

“You have to let me see it!”

“No!” I squeal, cheeks already red. “Oh my God, that would be so embarrassing.”

“I’ve seen you naked at least a dozen times. This is no different.”

“Look, college doesn’t count, number one. And two, this is so different! It’s practically porn. You’ll see, you know, all of me. That’s weird.”

Lily pouts and clasps the bottle of wine to her chest. “I won’t share any more if you don’t show me. All mine for the rest of the evening unless you plug that bad boy in.”

“I don’t know, Lily. It’s so personal.” My plan didn’t include sharing the video with anyone other than Eric and David.

“Kate Lilliana Monroe McArthur. This was not a romantic tryst, no matter how amazing it may have been. This was pure revenge fucking and you know it. Stop trying to treat this like some shiny, sparkly junior high love bullshit. You sucked that guy’s dick to make David jealous. Now gimme.”

“It was such a nice cock, too.” I groan, remembering the exact feel of it in my mouth. I had never before in my life enjoyed fellatio until that moment. “No, you’re right. I’m being ridiculous. David is going to shit himself when he sees it.”

“When are you going to show it to him?”

“I’m not sure. I feel like I need to tell Vivian first, given the parties involved. Maybe I’ll save it for after everything finalizes. Not only will I get my freaking money that I deserve out of this shithole excuse of a marriage, but then I’m going to show him a video of me fucking his lawyer. God, I can’t wait to see the look on his face.”

“We should hold a showing at a drive-in. Sell popcorn. It could be great.”

“Amazing. But no one else is going to see my bare ass, thank you very much. Why do you think I’m going to face him in person instead of emailing him? I can’t risk it being anywhere near the internet.”

“Fine.” Lily slides next to me on the couch. “At this rate, no matter what happens to you in court, you’ll have his balls either way.”

“Who’s laughing now, asshole?” I scowl, picturing David’s terrible, stupid face.

“Us. We are laughing. Now you should show it to me. I need to see what will undoubtedly kill David, because karma is such a beautiful bitch.”

“No, you can’t — hey!” I grab after Lily, but she’s off running and hooks the drive up to my TV. “Oh, God. This is going to be so bad.”

“Please, what am I going to do? Leak it?”

I pause and mull this over. “Maybe I could become the next famed hotel heiress with it. Get my own fashion line or something if it blows up.”

“There’s the Kate I love. Now let’s see Mr. Lawyer-Man’s huge cock.”

Lily plays around with the remotes until she’s got the video up on the screen. I immediately cycle from incredible embarrassment to arousal. I’d set up the camera before I met him the park, just in case. Everything from the moment we tumbled in the door was recorded and is now playing back.

“Goddamn that boy undresses fast.” Lily breathes.

“He’s superhuman.”

Watching everything happen again makes me all but forget Lily is next to me until she started squealing and jumping in her seat, hitting me with pillows.

“Did he just? Oh my God he did!” She smacks my arm. “Did you see what he just did to you?”

It is so surreal to sit on the couch and watch this incredibly sexy man take total control of my body. From the way he licked my nipples down to his dark head between my legs. I can almost feel his hot mouth back down there.

“Girl, you look so hot. Forget him. Look at how sexy you are, all wound up while he’s all up on you!” Lily smacks me with the pillow again. “Shit, if this David thing goes south, you should go into porn. I’d watch all your videos. I mean that in the least creepy way possible.”

“I think I’m flattered?” I force out a laugh, but the air is stolen from my lungs. Watching this is such a bad idea. Every action on tape I can feel across my body: the way his body felt on mine, the firm way he grabbed me, the intensity of his tongue and lips.

Lily gasps next to me. The angle shows a perfect angle of Eric’s cock. It looks magnificent in the lamplight. It felt just as good, if not better. We fall into total silence as we watch Eric and me have sex on top of very expensive hotel sheets. For a minute, I forget to breathe.

“I gotta go home.” Lily suddenly says, breaking our trance. “I gotta go, um, you know. Stuff. Listen to me, Kate. Listen to me. If you can have sex with that man again, do it. He is so sexy and you two have this incredible chemistry that is like lightning. I would kill for someone to fuck me like that.”

“You know that I can’t do that.”

“Fine. Once your divorce is finalized, hunt that boy down and fuck him twice. Three times on Sunday.” Lily quickly gathers her things and gives me a peck on the cheek. “That was marvelous, thank you. It’ll hold me over ton… I mean, it was fun. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She practically runs out of my apartment and leaves me alone with the video still rolling. We’ve both just hit our second orgasms and he’s working his way back down between my legs. I get chills just thinking about it.

“I want to know how you taste once I’ve marked you,” he told me.

He says it again on the tape. I look around my apartment and find my glass of wine. I drain it, slip off my sundress, and sprawl out on the couch. I mean, what the hell, right? All I can think about is having Eric again, and that’s impossible. So I will take him any way I can have him, even if it’s just in my head.

My fingers mimic his tongue against my clit. His groans fill my ears and I can see that he was stroking himself while licking me. It’s incredibly sexy. When I cry out in bliss in the video, real me climaxes at the same time.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

ERIC

“Tequila, boys.” Becky slides the tray into the middle of the table. She doesn’t look at me, but instead shoots a wink to Geoff. “Let me know when you need refills.”

“Et tu, Brutus?” I slap him on the back after he shoots his tequila and am mildly disappointed he doesn’t spew it everywhere. “Decided to move in on my bar wench, did you?”

“She’s not yours, Eric.” Geoff pulls himself up a bit, like he’s a real man instead of the slouch who regularly gets run over in court and in the bar. And the gym. “I’ve just been nice to her. People like it when you are nice to them, Eric.”

Paxton and I are both astounded for a full minute. We gape like fish in a dirty bowl, trying to process how the guy nobody fucking likes scooped up a hot bar waitress. Geoff looks smug as hell and, frankly, I can’t blame him.

“I knew something was up when we were boxing. I knew it. You lipped off to Paxton and that shit would never happen. Should have known it was because someone was stroking your balls.” I throw a light fist into his shoulder. “Geoff has become a man!”

“I never said I slept with her.” Geoff burns a little red and has that whole annoyed schoolboy look going for him. “I just said I was nice to her.”

“Just admit you fucked her.” Paxton says. “Admit it. It’s okay to sleep with people, Geoff. You’re allowed to get your dick wet.”

“You guys really are assholes, you know that?” Geoff rolls his eyes. “I’ll go get another round.”

“Say hi to your girlfriend for us! Tell her we miss her!” Paxton calls after him. “Well, I’ll be damned. Geoff took your girl.”

“Becky isn’t my girl.” I say dismissively and attend to the vibrating phone in my pocket. A series of texts from David flood in, livid about his recent billing. I shoot back a quick reminder that if he kept his goddamn dick in his pants and listened to me, we wouldn’t have this problem. “I fucking hate this guy, Pax. Hate.”

“We all take on dipshits we don’t like, because those dipshits have money. You don’t have to like him—”

“I just have to like his wallet. Yeah, yeah.” I rub my face, frustrated. “I don’t understand what Kate ever saw in this guy. He’s an ugly fuck who can’t keep it in his pants. He’s whiny and compulsive. I knew he piggybacked off Kate’s contacts in LA to make it into the scene, but I swear to fuck this man has no talent.”

“I liked his last movie.” Paxton shrugs. “So he’s a typical piece of Hollywood trash. You know they crawl out of the woodwork here. How is he different from your other clients?”

“He thinks he owns the planet.”

“So do all those other fuckers.”

“All those other fuckers don’t marry good humans.” I down my beer and turn my phone upside down so I can’t see the bullshit David’s still texting. “Kate’s record is impeccable, man. She’s always been the loyal, loving wife. Stands by his side, gets him into places that would rather give him the boot. Half of what he’s done has her name on it.”

“We’ll touch on that other shit in a minute. I thought you said this case was a slam dunk?” Paxton leans across the table. “If her name is on everything…”

“I know.” I throw myself back against the chair and stare at the nasty bar ceiling like it’s a fortune teller. Maybe if I stare long enough, it’ll tell me the secrets to the universe. “That’s because everyone has a past, man. Everyone. This town fuels itself on lies and deceit. But Kate is a genuinely good person. There’s no affairs, no sketchy shit. Thought I had her nailed on some topless photos from a few years ago with a dude, but it turned out to be a very gay friend, some make-up artist. They were on a shoot together and hit the local spots. Which means I have nothing.”

“No wonder you’re sleeping for shit.” Paxton lets out a low whistle. “So the plan has been bully the fuck out of them in mediation.”

“Exactly. Vivian isn’t standing for that, either, but if I can get Kate to buckle, maybe. Also, we’re calling into the legitimacy of her involvement in everything. I mean, we’ll be okay. I always win. It’s just stressful as fuck.”

“I guess you sleeping with his wife isn’t providing its usual healing powers, eh?”

“It’s just sex.” I wave him off and ignore the strange feelings in my gut. “I was hoping to break her a little with my dick.”

“And?”

“She’s proving to be formidable.”

“Right. So back to all that bullshit you were spewing.” Paxton snaps his fingers at me. He knows I hate it. “Kate is not the purest human on the planet. Kate is a normal person who’d inherited an exceptional amount of money. Exceptional amounts of money mean secrets you can exploit.”

“I know.”

“Then fucking do it, man.” Paxton spreads his arms wide and shoot me a look that’s usually reserved for Geoff. “Quit prancing around and knock her out. You know, legally. But if you really like her—”

“I don’t.” I jump in, again ignoring my gut. Apparently, I have a terrible case of Kate-shaped indigestion. “You know I don’t do feelings.”

“Right.” Paxton pounds his glass on the table. “We are fucking cavemen. Brazen men looking to spread our seed and steal fat-fucker money. But you’ve got a problem, bro, and it needs to be addressed. Get her the fuck out of your head so you can land the killing blow without getting your balls in a knot.”

“You’re right.” I know he is. Why Kate has gotten to me is questionable, but there’s probably something to do with my lack of sleep or excessive drinking or overhaul loathing of David McArthur. “She’s nothing to me. I just hate him.”

“Prove it.”

“What?”

“Prove she’s not a problem. Prove to me, Ms Charity in Nicaragua—”

“Honduras.”

Paxton stares at me. “Jesus, this is worse than I thought.”

“My job is to know my enemy, Pax. Don’t be a dick.” I smart off, but secretly file away all the other information about her charity work I might accidentally volunteer while drinking. She really is a hell of a woman. “I’ll prove it. See those girls over at the bar?”

I point to a trio of very busty women, laughing over beers. Smart suits, bright red lips, briefcases. The dream, really, because they aren’t interested in long-term shit, either. They work too hard to lose their lives to men. Pax nods his approval.

I order them a round of drinks and invite them over to our table. Geoff looks annoyed, finally back from wherever he disappeared to while allegedly getting drinks. The blonde shoots me a flirty wink when they walk over to meet Pax. I smile back, but my chest doesn’t feel right. For some reason I feel… ill. Like I need to go home.

Like I shouldn’t be talking to these women.

At that moment, my phone rings. It’s David, again. I grab my jacket from the table, holding up a finger like I’m coming back, and slip out the front door. For once in his life, that asshole proved useful.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

KATE

There are precious few things in my life that I haven’t been able to settle while in the tub. Big tubs, big bubbles, hot water and a glass of wine, maybe something stronger, have the capability to make everything seem less toxic, more manageable. Tonight, I’ve got bubbles up to my eyeballs.

“Maybe I just need to become a nun.” I say to my bright white bathroom tiles and take another sip of whiskey. “The opposite sex is clearly a disease.”

Outside of my sanctuary, someone bangs on my front door. It’s a commanding knock, not a timid one, and it immediately sets my teeth on edge. The last time I heard that knock, it was the night before mediation and…

I shudder. Not a place I’m willing to return. Instead, I sink deeper in the bubbles and pretend no one is there.

They knock again, louder. And again.

It is destroying my Zen vibes in the bathroom and that’s enough to make me angry.

“This LA apartment may look comfortable, but the walls are thin and I need whoever the hell is outside to go away.” I call, stepping out of the tub and wrapping my dripping body in a towel. I carefully skirt through the water puddles so I don’t slip and fall. “It’s the middle of the freaking night and I—”

My voice dies. The peephole doesn’t show David. It shows Eric Stevens. Looking disheveled, sexy and almost manic. I don’t remove the chain, but I turn the top lock and crack open the door.

“What do you want?”

“I need to talk to you.”

“Okay.” I have no idea what he wants and my entire body is on edge from it. He is painfully sexy in this light, with him so clearly flustered. It’s a powerful, manic energy. But we also haven’t spoken since we had sex in Lily’s hotel and, you know, that’s awkward. “Talk.”

He narrows his eyes at me. It’s not menacing. It’s panty-dropping. If I were wearing them.

“Kate, open the door.”

I stare him back down, but my resolve edges away. Our business is not for my neighbors’ ears, and my thin apartment walls are still better than the hallway. Me being in a towel, however, is not exactly ideal. I slide the chain off the hook and hide behind the door.

“I was just in the bath, so first I need to—”

I don’t even know what I was going to finish saying, because as soon as Eric crosses the threshold of my apartment, he kicks the door shut and envelopes me with his entire body. My words die in his mouth, between his lips and his tongue. His hands take my hair and my waist and he claims me like something out of a black and white movie: with total absolution.

Just like that, I’m lost in the feel and smell of him. He tastes like beer, but I taste like whiskey. His body warmth cascades down me and thaws every piece frigid from getting out of the bath. Eric is more aggressive than ever with his kisses. He bites, pulls and sucks like he’s desperate.

I can feel myself slipping. It’s so easy to give in to him, to his power. He commands the entire room with his presence, but this was so unexpected that I have no choice but to obey anyway.

He moves to my neck, biting and sucking while making my towel disappear. No longer cold, I’m burning hot and need him to stop the swell within me. I need Eric to touch me in all the most intimate places so I can get relief, relief, relief.

“Eric.” I finally find my voice and fight against the growing need within me. “What are you doing?”

“Tell me to stop if I need to stop.” He mutters against me. I’m thrust and lifted against the wall so he can take my breast in his mouth. He sucks hard and I gasp from the pain and heat of him.

“I—” The words die in my throat, because I can’t speak. I’m naked, pressed against a wall, with my nipple between the teeth of the man I couldn’t stop thinking about. Nothing within me, nothing, could tell him to stop.

He looks up at me with intense, heavy dark eyes. I have nothing to say but yes, please, now.

Eric carries me across the living room, his tongue massaging my nipple as he walks. My body illuminates under his touch. All I want is more. No talking, no thinking, just primal urges satiated in the candlelight of my apartment.

We bump into the couch arm and he sets me down, fingers digging into my skin as I move against him and the thickness in his pants. Eric spins me around and spreads my legs with one hand while the other cups my breasts. He draws circles across my inner thighs, leaving me lightheaded and dizzy at his touch.

He’s so close to what I need and yet so far. The perfect metaphor of whatever fucked-up relationship it is we have.

The firm head of his cock presses against my opening and I cry out in desperation. I don’t wait for him to tease or for him to find me. Reaching back, I guide him into me and engulf his cock with my wetness.

“You are a fever in my veins.” he grunts as he thrusts into me.

Our first time together, we had sex for hours. After every orgasm, we kissed and licked and touched until he was ready to slip himself back inside me. Four hours passed, easily. Not once in that time did he fuck me the way he is now.

The intensity radiating out of him spills into the way he loves me with his cock. Because there is no other word for it in this moment. It’s not a sweet love, it’s not a cherishing love, it’s dominating.

I’m a fever in his veins. The words send chills through my body and make everything heightened. I wasn’t supposed to hear it, I know I wasn’t. Eric Stevens doesn’t show weakness around me. Tenderness, certainly. But not weaknesses.

I reach behind and give his balls a squeeze. He stops mid-thrust and groans, his head to my back. His breath is heavy because as much as he acts in control, he’s desperate. And that is incredibly liberating. Sexy.

My hips grind against him and his fingers dig into my softness. He leaves a trail of hot kisses along the back of my neck and throws himself into me. I lose myself to the motion of our bodies. I stop thinking, stop breathing and just survive of the rhythm between us.

At some point there is a misstep and we topple sideways. He picks me up and presses me against the wall, his cock back inside me before I feel fully righted. This is more intimate than anything we’ve been in and my brain can barely comprehend it.

“You asked me once what I saw when I looked at you,” Eric breathes against me. Our bodies continue in a perfect carnal dance but my chest tightens and my vision blurs. I can’t hold out much longer against him like this. His voice tightens, like he’s feeling the same thing. “The answer is perfection.”

I am no longer Kate and he is no longer Eric. We are bodies of energy that fly apart and come back together as one.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

ERIC

“So then I said, who do I look like, fucking Spielberg? And he said yes, that cheeky fuck! It was hilarious. Man, you had to be there. Next time I go to dinner with those boys, Eric, I’ll give you a call. They’ll all need someone like you on retainer, I’m sure.” David wipes his eyes, finding his own terrible story hilarious.

They all do. All their stories are uninteresting and pathetic. All their stories revolve around being compared to someone else famous, someone clearly better than them, like a massive penis competition. Who has the bigger ego? Who has the bigger dick?

None of them. All their egos are as fragile as my old man’s hairline and their dicks are tiny. It’s why they cheat with young girls to begin with. They don’t know any better.

“Let me buy you dinner. Tonight.” David slams his palm down on my desk and jolts me out of the mental ass-beating I’m dishing out. “You look you could use a break, and maybe some pussy. One of my favorite spots? The girls, Eric! You wouldn’t believe the girls.”

I lean back in my very expensive leather desk chair and steeple my fingers before me. If I wore glasses, I’d take them off in a very dramatic fashion. Mental note: tell Sophie to order me some of those fake glasses Geoff always wears to court. They don’t make him look smarter, but they would be a nice accessory when dealing with dipshits.

“David.” I interrupt his stream-of-consciousness chatter about whatever club he wants to take me to. “I’m sure it’s swanky as hell. But we’ve talked about this shit.”

“But if my lawyer is with me.” David’s face splits in a stupid grin and he spreads his arms to match. He’s like a crucified glutton who looks completely content with his lot in life. “Who can say no? I’m just taking a friend out, having a good time…”

“Looks like bribery.” I don’t move from my stoic, steepled pose. This is my Fuck Off and Get Serious pose, and McArthur has seen a ton of it lately. “Looks suspicious. It makes me look cheap and you look broke.”

“I—” David’s jaw flaps a bit. “But we both know that ain’t true.”

“Perception is everything. Which is why you are instructed to lay low.”

“And I have been! I’ve been laid up in my big ass house, all alone. I mean, aside from the visitors, if you know what I mean.”

“Goddammit, David.” Pose broken. I massage a pulsating headache spreading across my temple. “You’re trying to claim that you still have an active marriage. If you can’t knock off this shit, the case is as good as dead. You thought I was kidding, man. I’ll put you on goddamn house arrest if I have to, because—”

A very loud, obnoxious ringtone kicks off from David’s pocket. Immediately, I want to throttle the guy into the atmosphere. He knows I have a very strict phone policy in my office. I lean across the desk and take it out of his pocket. It’s turned off in two seconds, cutting the sound dead.

“See this shit? You know this shit isn’t permitted in my office. You aren’t a petulant child, David. You’re thirty-six-fucking-years old. You are divorcing a beloved younger woman, who is widely known her for charity work and humanitarian efforts, because you can’t keep it in your pants.”

“I thought you said we were framing it as her having the affair.” David swipes his phone back and turns it on. “That’s what you said. Then I can look like I’m free.”

“Because you told me she cheated, David.” I say through clenched teeth. “You’ve been unable to provide any proof, which says you lied to me.”

“I didn’t lie.” David holds his phone up at me like he’s going to reprimand me with it. I seriously consider snapping it in two pieces. “I suspected. She was always gone, you know? Sure, she said it was some charity gala or event planning, but she always came home late and was in such a good mood after. We stopped having sex. She sometimes wouldn’t even sleep in the same room. That screams affair, Eric. You just need to dig deeper.”

Or she was trapped in a miserable relationship with a selfish asshole and hated being at home. I shake my head slightly to ditch the thought. I can’t do this to myself. I can’t sabotage the entire case because I like to fuck his ex-wife.

“So, come with me to dinner and—” The phone rings again. David grins like an idiot and stands up, a finger in my face before he goes to pace across the length of my office floor. “Brad! How’s it going, baby? Did you get a chance to see the script? Sure, I can talk, I’m just with my lawyer. No, no. He can wait. I pay him enough to do what I say.”

At this, David shoots me a wink.

His pacing takes him to the windows at the front of my office, with a great view of the city. He stands there, blabbing and bragging about some movie he’s putting together, disrespectful as fuck. I swear to God, he acts like I have no other clients. Like he’s the singular most important thing in my life right now.

Well, fuck ‘im.

Screw him. Overwhelmed with anger at him, I stealthily unzip my pants and pull my dick out under my desk. After a quick glance his way to make sure he’s still acting like an ape, I pull up the file of Kate’s topless photos on my laptop and two clicks later have a pretty solid hard-on. It’s stupid the shit this girl does to me. She takes my mind off my stress and makes me do crazy shit.

Fucking her at her apartment did not pull her out of my system like I’d hoped. If anything, it sank me deeper, which is quickly becoming dangerous. For the moment, though, it paid off in spades.

I snap a quick shot of my dick in my hand, painfully thread it back into my pants, and send it to Kate with a quick note:

David is here. Thinking of you.

She’ll probably hate me for it. Women are so finicky about the dick pick. If they’re horny, they’re happy for it. If they aren’t, they get pissed. It’s walking a fine line I don’t usually have time to figure out.

David turns and gives me a thumbs up and goes back to pacing, along with a series of hand motions I assume is supposed to let me know he’s wrapping up soon. My hate for this guy grows daily.

He finally says goodbye and plops back in my chair just as my phone lights up. I grab it before he can look and have to steady myself. Kate sent back a picture of her draped in nothing but a towel, a little leg poking out. It is one of the sexiest poses I’ve seen her in.

“What’s so good over there?” David asks, leaning in. He’s like a goddamn dog with a nose that can sniff smut out.

“Oh, nothing. Some sex tape news about that hotel heiress—”

“London Holton? Eric, that girl can lay down some pussy. We were in Verona once for a shoot.”

He launches into his story and it takes all I have to not hurl my phone in his face. Instead, I flick my dick under my desk until the erection dies. This whole thing is a goddamn nightmare and it’s all his fault.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

KATE

Vivian’s office is probably one of my favorite places in Los Angeles, which is saying something. Her office overlooks the beach, with perfect white-capped waves as a gorgeous background to all the pleasantries we must sort through. Every time I feel overwhelmed, I stand by a window and just take it all in: the rolling waves, the birds flying by, the perfect blue skies.

Everything isn’t so bad when you’re on the beach. Even if you’re on the beach to discuss a divorce from a sadistic, womanizing, manipulative manwhore. Look at the sand and feel better.

“Just keep doing what you’re doing.” Vivian concludes, scribbling a few more notes on a legal pad. “It’s working. David looks like an asshole in the media and you look like a woman just trying to move on with her life. That should help our case greatly.”

I like that she’s old school, always scribbling notes on legal pads and transcribing them later, taking audio notes on a small recorder that was probably made in 1995, using a paper filing system. I’ve seen her open a laptop twice during all our visits.

Old school means she doesn’t rely on technology to make herself tough. She knows how to find things without having to consult Private Detective Google. Though I’m sure she does plenty of that, too.

“You look good.” Vivian encourages. “You’ve got a healthy glow about you, despite all this. A big change from the beginning. That’s good. It means you’re handling this in a healthy way.”

“You could say that.” I try to suppress a smile. All this talk today about being a woman moving on has made me feel so much better about what has been happening behind closed doors. “I feel better, mostly.”

“I guess I need to consider this hot yoga mess you keep going on about. If I can sweat for an hour and look like that? Sign me up. Usually I don’t look that happy unless I’ve gotten laid.”

At this, Vivian pauses. She looks up from her notepad and stares hard at me.

“You aren’t sleeping with someone, are you?”

“No.” I answer as truthfully as possible. There’s never really been any sleeping involved. This reminds me of the first interlude with Eric, the one that ended disastrously, where we both made a point to outline no sleeping was involved. “I have not been sleeping with anyone. I have considered getting a cat, though, or maybe a dog to cuddle with. Beds can get a little lonely at night, you know? But the upkeep is hard with my busy schedule. Haven’t made a decision yet.”

“Kate.” Vivian squints at me. “Are you fucking someone?”

I become very interested in my latest manicure. The color reminds me of ocean water, which is always so soothing. Also, my nails don’t have the laser focus Vivian currently has, which is sort of terrifying.

“You do understand, as I’ve repeatedly told you, the state of California does not recognize legal separation unless specifically filed, correct?”

“Of course.” I nod. “You were always very clear about that.”

“And you two elected not to go the route of legal separation, saying divorce was the only option.”

“It is.” I nod harder. There was no way I was remaining attached to that asshole any longer than necessary. “It is the only option.”

“You then realize the state still recognizes you two as married.”

“It’s only a piece of paper.” My cheeks flush and the room spins, just a bit. I never liked feeling like I was in trouble, not even as a child. I wish I had a better poker face. “We’re already filed, the proceedings are going on. This is just over assets and money.”

Vivian leans back in her chair and crosses her arms. Everything about her in this moment is cross: her eyes, her lips, her brow, her arms. Everything. She may as well be a jailer, waiting to lock me in.

“You just said I looked like a woman getting her life back together.”

“A woman does not need a man to have her shit together, Kate.”

“I know that.”

“Do you?”

“Look, this just sort of… happened.” I put on a mask of ambivalence. It’s one I used a lot with David. “It’s nothing serious. It’s nothing loud. We’re quiet, I promise.”

“Who is it?”

Well. I guess I should have seen that question coming.

“Kate, if this is someone who has the power to ruin your case, this could totally destroy us. We are currently nailing this fucker to the wall because he’s a cheating bastard, okay? We are laying out a case that shows him using you and your marriage for his own personal gain, which then presents you as a role in all the assets he has in his Swiss account. I thought this is what you wanted.”

“It is.” A fire nips at my veins. “This is what I want. He only has that stupid account because of me, and he moved everything over to it. He doesn’t deserve all the money, Vivian. This was my life, too. My career, too. I dedicated everything to him and he swept the vault clean.”

“Good. Remember that. Now who is the mystery lover, so I can prepare for the backlash when this inevitably hits the news?”

“It won’t hit the news. I told you, we’re careful.”

“Sure, right. Everyone thinks they are careful. Until they aren’t. Do you know why family law is so lucrative in this town, Kate? Because no one is as careful as they claim. This has the potential to ruin you. Do you understand that?”

“Everything in this town can ruin you. What’s a sex partner?”

“In a divorce case? Everything. Don’t get involved in the same bullshit as David, Kate. You’re better than that.”

“This is not the same as that asshole.” My mask can’t block out the punctuating anger. “David fucks anything with a pulse. He’s been out almost every night with a different woman on his arm. He had at least two girlfriends while we were married. He goes to strip clubs, dance clubs, fancy fucking bars with piles of groupies. Everyone knows he’s out banging half the city. This is not the same thing.”

“Two wrongs don’t make a right, Kate. And his numerous transgressions don’t overshadow any you could populate. You don’t think the media isn’t chomping at the bit for a chance to see Golden Girl Kate McArthur fall from her horse? This place thrives on lives being ruined. They only need one nibble that you’re having an affair and it’s over.”

“I’m not cheating.” I spit the foul words out. The beach looks fuzzy and feels disorienting, not soothing. “That’s David’s thing. David cheats. I’m simply moving on. This is weeks from being over. The only thing in our way right now is paperwork.”

“Sure, sure.” Vivian cocks an eyebrow at me. “Paperwork and a fuckload of money. End it.”

I don’t say anything because there’s nothing to say. She’s right, but I don’t think I have it in me to walk away. Not anymore.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

KATE

The bath tub doesn’t provide me any answers tonight. Nor has it for the last several nights. Since Vivian told me to cut things off with Eric, I’ve been walking the beach for hours and soaking in the tub for almost as long.

It’s not often the water lets me down, but this week it has.

Staving off Vivian’s storm is no small feat, either. She’s livid I won’t tell her who I’m occasionally sharing a bed with and has threatened to send a private detective after me. That alone has kept me quiet. Lily and I have worked on the gala several nights out of my dining room simply because I was too scared to step foot outside.

It’s not so easy, deciding how to live my life. Objectively, it looks so simple: tell Eric we are no longer sleeping together and go back to late nights with dirty Thumblr posts and a vibrator. Objectively, I should sit at home and let David continue to look like the world’s biggest asshole so I can sweep the floor clean with his big, stupid face.

Objectively, I shouldn’t touch Eric to begin with because he is the enemy who made me question my existence.

Turns out I don’t do well with objective thinking. None of that matters. What matters is he told me I am perfect. What matters is he told me I am a fever in his veins. What matters is we both collide with one another, no matter how twisted this entire situation gets.

“He fucks all his clients’ wives.” Lily yells at me over the phone. “This is his whole game plan, Kate. He sleeps with you and then he uses the evidence to prove you’re trash. You had a leg up on him with the video in your possession, but now you keep sleeping with him.”

“You told me to do it in the first place! Remember, you told me to!”

“I told you to stop acting like this was some junior high crush. It’s revenge. Why the fuck are you still screwing around with him?”

I have nothing to say to this except “it’s different”. There’s no way he tells every woman he sleeps with they are perfect. There’s no way he shows up at their apartment door, feverish and disheveled, so he can kiss her before words are spoken.

“I know it doesn’t make sense, but I can feel it, Lily. When we are together, the connection is real. The connection is unlike anything I’ve ever had before.”

“You’re romanticizing his cock. Stop it. You’ve had David’s puny dick for too many years and you’re just now realizing what else is out there. Do not marry the first big dick you come across, Kate. It’ll end in another divorce.”

“I never said that word. Why, after everything, would I say that word? I’m just saying it’s complicated and I can’t let go.”

“Because you don’t want to.”

“Exactly.”

Lily sighs heavily. I drain the tub and slide into a robe in the silence, wondering if I really was the problem. Somehow, I ended up more confused than ever before. Nothing in my life can be easy.

“When was the last time you saw him?”

“Almost a week ago.”

“When was the last time you talked to him?”

“I don’t know.” I lie. Yesterday. We last spoke yesterday. “It’s not like we spend all night on the phone or text each other all day.”

“Dirty pictures?”

“Maybe.”

“Oh, yeah. This sounds like true love to me.”

“Stop it.” I scowl at the phone. “This is important to me, Lily. He’s important to me.”

“He is a sexual revolution and nothing more. As your best friend, it’s my duty to—”

A hard, imposing knock on the door echoes through my apartment. I toss off a quick goodbye and hang up on Lily before she can say anything else, and all but float to the door. I’m nothing but full body tingles and excitement.

Forget all the mess. I just want to get lost in Eric. We’ll call it one more time. For now.

Although, if Vivian really is checking up on me, she will absolutely murder me if she catches me with him. Another mental scale of good versus bad decisions weighs before me as another knock hits my door.

Maybe I should behave. Maybe I should say goodbye. For now. We can always reconnect after the divorce has been finalized, right? This would prove that we’re more than just occasional fuck buddies.

Except it’s not Eric outside my door.

“I’ve missed seeing you like this.” The voice that makes my skin crawl murmurs. David walks right into my apartment. “Robe, hair piled on top of your head. It’s very sexy.”

His words are like poison to my skin. “What do you want, David?”

“For you.” He presents a bouquet of pink roses. “A token of apology. I know I need more than that, but it’s a start.”

I don’t touch them. They could be laced with something.

“Look. I’m an idiot. A first-class idiot. I know you know this. I just want to tell you that you’re right and I’m sorry.” David wipes tears from his eyes. “I have been so lost without you, Kate. Nothing feels real anymore. I’ve tried to fill your void in my life and nothing compares.”

I snort at this, but quietly. Seeing him cry is… unnerving.

“Please, Kate, let’s talk this out. I love you. I miss you. I need you. I was a dumbass and I will apologize on my knees for the rest of my life. Please, take me back.”

“David.” I struggle to find words because I can’t even comprehend what I’m seeing right now. “You can’t just come in here, after everything that’s happened, and expect me to take you back. I’m done. We are done.”

“Please, Kate.” His voice drops to a whisper, teary streams turn to rivers on his cheeks. “Just talk to me. One drink to let me plead my case. Please.”

My arms stay tight at my sides, my personal shield. Still, watching him cry is a terrible thing. My resolve shatters in a blink.

“Fine. We can talk. I’m not coming back, but we can talk.” I walk backwards to my room to keep an eye on him. “I’ll change. You have one drink. That’s it.”

“Thank you.” He sniffs.

The entire time I’m pulling on some clothes, I feel like an idiot. I have no desire to get back with this man but I can’t just leave him sobbing on my couch. I’m not heartless. One drink, he can pay, and then I gain a clean conscience.

Except he is now naked in my living room. I squeeze my eyes before reopening them to make sure I’m not seeing things. Nope, he’s definitely naked in my living room. Grin on his face.

Somewhere below the smooth surface of Kate McArthur, a volcano erupts.

“Get out!” I yell, throwing everything within reach at him. “Get the hell out of my apartment!”

He doesn’t have time to plead or beg. He doesn’t have time to argue. I chase him out of my apartment, stark naked, with a weighted candlestick, and secure every lock on my door.

“I need my clothes!” he yells through the door.

The neatly folded pile rests on my chaise. I dump them out the window, into the evening traffic. The last thing I see is his button-down flying through the wind like a kite.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

ERIC

“Harder.”

I do.

“Harder.”

I go harder.

“Fucking harder, man. What is this, kindergartener hour?” Paxton laughs at me. “This is some weak shit.”

“Don’t push it again, Pax. Last time, you had a black eye.”

“Eh.” Paxton shrugs it off. “The girls loved it, so bring it on, old man.”

I channel every floating force of confusion and frustration to my hands. David’s face, Kate’s tits, my landlord refusing to fix the shower for the third time. All of it goes flowing through me and into the bag. Sweat stings and my nose runs, but still I throw punches.

Sometimes, I picture Paxton’s smug face, too.

Finally, I collapse against the bag and throw my gloves to the ground. My lungs seize up and I need the space to walk around and breathe. I don’t need to hear Paxton’s shit, I don’t need to see Geoff cackling like a know-it-all jackass, and I don’t need the rest of the gym to see me currently falling to pieces.

Every night for the last week, I’ve jacked off to pictures of Kate. From the moment I left her apartment, I’ve been insatiable. It’s like being back in college again, jacking off every three seconds because I caught a flash of a girl’s thigh while walking through the dorms.

It’s maddening. I’m an adult. I fuck when I want to fuck, but I always have control. Because of Kate, that control is now slipping.

“Look, you just need to finally admit this shit.”

Paxton jogs to catch up with me near the ring. A pair of women from my office is beating the shit out of each other. It usually cheers me up. Today it doesn’t.

“I’m serious, man. This is unlike you. I get she’s a hot piece of ass, but is she really worth all this bullshit?”

She was worth everything and that’s what makes it maddening. Sex with her feels different, but it’s more than the sex. It’s more than her wit. It’s more than her bangin’ body.

“I’ve fucked my fair share of women in the last several years.” I lean against the ropes for a better look. Evelyn’s nose is bleeding but she doesn’t tap out. Respect. “Picked up a lot of women and never called them again.”

“More than your fair share, I’d say.” Paxton jokes. “You certainly know your way around a vagina.”

“I’ve been with hot women, smart women, models, rich socialites, other attorneys. I’ve fucked good girls, the girl next door, the girl across the street. All ethnicities. I don’t discriminate in the bedroom against damn near anything.”

“As long as they’re hot, far as I could always tell.” Paxton agrees. “Hot comes in a lot of flavors. So what makes her different?”

“I don’t fucking know.” I slam my fist against the top of the ring post. “I’ve been stressing over this shit for ages. I can’t fuck her out of my system.”

“Have you picked up anyone else since you started banging her?”

I shake my head once, definitively. I know what he was going to suggest and I can’t bring myself to do it. I saw the way she looked at me with lipstick on my cheek. That fucked with me for days and I don’t want to go back to it.

“Maybe you should.”

“No.”

“Then you better figure that shit out soon. Fucking her because you hate your client isn’t a good enough reason anymore.” Paxton slaps my back and shoots a two-finger salute.

I don’t have any answers so I hit the showers. Nothing in there, either. All I got is she’s some sort of magical combination of every girl I’ve ever liked… or I’m getting old. And I don’t feel that goddamn old just yet.

The sun beats down on my way to the car and it doesn’t provide any resolution, either. I don’t like a lack of resolution. I like answers. I like something I can win.

Just passed my car, I spy a familiar outline sitting on a bench in the park. My feet make an abrupt turn to her, drawn to her presence without bothering to confirm with the rest of my body.

“All the gin joints in Los Angeles, and here you are.”

“No gin.” Kate is a little stiff but not unfriendly. “What are you doing here?”

“My gym.” I hitch a thumb over my shoulder. “If I’m not at work or the bar, I’m usually here. What are you doing here?”

“My gym.” She mimics my thumb over her shoulder. “If I’m not at work or the bar… you get the idea.”

“You box?”

“Yoga.”

Makes a lot of sense. That woman is bendy as hell in the bedroom. I could turn her into a pretzel if I wanted and she’d still fuck like a queen.

She doesn’t look like royalty today. It’s more than the I-just-worked-out thing she has going. Her fire is dim and I don’t like it.

“You okay?” I keep a careful space between us on the bench, but I nudge her hand with mine. “You look like you need a friend.”

“No.” Kate hasn’t looked at me once since I came to sit. I want to take her by the cheeks and make her.

“Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“You know, they say I’m a great listener.”

“Bullshit.” Her lips quirk upward at the ends. It’s a small victory. “You only like the sound of your own voice.”

“Guilty.” I move in just a touch closer and soften my voice. “Come on, Kate. Something is bothering you and I want to help. Talk to me.”

She cocks an eyebrow at me and the disbelief is heavy. It’s like the woman I bent over her couch has been replaced by someone scorned. It’s only then that I realize she’s probably got a lot on her plate and my dick isn’t helping much.

Tinges of guilt ping at me, reminders that she’s dealing with her livelihood while I was dragging her off to be fucked good and proper. Except it’s clear she has feelings and I’ve witnessed that makes shit more complicated. Normally, that’s exactly the response I want.

Not anymore. Not with her.

“Nobody cares about me.” Her voice is ice. “I’m just someone to be used. For money, connections, sex. No one gives a shit. You don’t give a shit. You’re just like everyone else.”

The weight behind that statement isn’t hidden. I want to argue, to tell her she’s wrong, but she’s not. I’ve spent weeks trying to pound her out of my brain but I’ve still fucked her. I’ve still used her for sex. For some unknown reason, it unsettles me.

“Let me take you to dinner.” I grab her hand and squeeze it. “Tonight.”

“What, like a date?” Kate scoffs.

“I mean, I can fuck you first if you want. But then yes, a date. A real date.”

She finally looks at me, those sad eyes probing me to see if I mean it. Surprises me just as much, but I do. I kiss her hand and watch the red touch her cheeks.

“Okay.” She finally breathes heavily. “I guess that would be okay.”

“Does this mean we’ll fuck first?”

“Is that how you usually date?”

I grin. “Yes. But for you, I’ll make an exception.”

CHAPTER TWENTY

KATE

“Okay, just trust me on this.”

Eric’s voice doesn’t do much to assure me as we zip through traffic in his tiny sports car. I am more than grateful I can’t see the undoubtedly narrow spaces he fits through. The blindfold over my eyes was funny at first, then nauseating, and I am now settled on life-saving.

“Trust you? That doesn’t sound very promising.” I clutch my stomach as we veer around another set of cars. “Where are we going? The moon?”

“Better.”

“What’s better than the moon?”

“Glendale.” I can practically see the cheeky grin on his face.

“Glendale? Seriously? What the hell is in Glendale besides hipsters?”

“Great fun awaits us in Glendale, Kate. You just need a little faith.” Eric slides his hand down my leg, spreading chills across my body in rapid succession, and grasps my hand. It’s surprisingly intimate and I’m glad he can’t see my full reaction right now.

Mostly because I don’t know how to feel.

He tells me about his grandfather as we go. The fish they’d catch, how he learned to fillet a trout for his seventh birthday, and how they would eat popcorn on the back porch at night while watching the sunset.

“That sounds beautiful.”

“It was.” Eric squeezes my hand and lets go, leaving me cold. “I spent whole summers just eating popcorn with the dude and plumping up the resident squirrels. End of the summer, they became target practice.”

“Oh my God!”

“Kidding.” Eric laughs. “Well, sort of. The neighbors really liked shooting BBs at the squirrels.”

“What about you?”

“I was too busy playing baseball.”

“I pictured you as more of a soccer player with that physique.”

“Oh, you’ve noticed?”

“A time or two, just a glance here and there. It’s very elusive.”

“Well, I’d hate to look like a braggart.” He squeezes my knee and my stomach flips again.

I’m not supposed to be here, but he’s treating me like I’m important. Everything is upside down, a modern version of Wonderland. Only I don’t want the little cake that will make me grow and finally escape like Alice. I want to stay here forever, in this weird little land, because it’s the only place I feel I fit.

The car comes to a stop and he kills the engine. Anticipation is killing me. Glendale is not what I would call the most thrilling place in Los Angeles, and definitely not where I expected him to take us.

“I’ll get your door.” Eric says. A few seconds later my door pops open and he leads me out of the car and in a few circles before finally removing my blindfold. “Surprise.”

Instead of looking at anything, I’m staring straight at him. We’re so close I can feel his breath on my neck.

“You brought me out to Glendale to see you?”

“I knew you’d love it.” He winks and spins me around once more. “Ta-da!”

“Roller skating?” I laugh. “Wow, this is surprising. I haven’t done this since I was… well, very small.”

“What better way to get handsy in public without drawing a lot of attention?” Eric winks again and takes my hand.

We walk inside like it’s a date. We rent skates like it’s a date. We order cokes and cheese fries like it’s a date. He tells me jokes, real ones that make me laugh and snort soda up my nose. It’s so surreal, all of it, that I half expect the Cheshire Cat to pop up out of nowhere.

“Come on.” Eric pats my knee and jumps up. “Let’s go for a spin.”

“I’m going to have to cling to you for dear life. I am many things, but graceful is not one of them.”

“That’s exactly what I was hoping for.”

Those first few steps on the rink, full of teenagers holding hands and little kids zooming in and out on roller blades, are terrifying. The total loss of control makes my stomach drop to my knees, but Eric remains by my side, an anchor in this fast-flying world.

“I also dabble in hockey.” He pulls me back upright as I drop into accidental splits. “Wow, you really are terrible.”

“I’m a fast learner.” I shoot back, laughing at my embarrassing skating performance. “Give me time. I’ll show you.”

“Anyone who doubts you is an idiot.” Eric says it almost tenderly.

It’s hard to focus on skating because I’m so busy staring at him. To see if this is all real. But a few more laps around the rink, more falling, more splits and I forget to watch him. Instead, it’s stupidly fun.

No pretenses are required while roller skating in a room full of families and kids. There are no cameras, no sequins, no twenty-dollar cocktails. It’s just laughs and smiles and holding hands under a disco ball. It’s the best night of my life.

A Whitney Houston song comes on and the DJ announces time for couples skate. My thighs and calves are killing me, but Eric pulls me out for the song. He spins me around in front of him and holds me like we’re dancing. I panic, but he holds tight.

“Trust me.” He whispers.

So I do.

In his impeccably strong arms, he holds me up so we can dance through the song, even throwing in an occasional spin. We’re so close our noses touch but our lips never meet. It’s a never-ending tease, all this touch with no payout. I love it.

We shut the place down, enjoying the last bits of amazingly terrible nineties music and mirrored ball lights until they kick us out. The whole drive back, we laugh about the other people there, and, of course, my terrible skating.

“I told you, though, I’d come back in the end. Did you see my spin at the end? That was Oscar-worthy.”

“Put that on your résumé. They next time they need someone for a terrible roller derby movie, they’ve got their girl.”

“It’ll be my Cinderella story. From socialite to derby girl.”

“I could see you rock it. It’d be pretty sexy, too.”

Heat spreads across my chest and I look away so he can’t see the stupid grin on my face.

“I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun, Eric. This was easily one of the best nights of my life.” We are standing outside my apartment and I don’t want the feeling to go away. I want it to last the whole night and then some. “You want to stay for a while?”

Eric cups my cheek in his hand and grasps my hip with his other. He pulls me in for a kiss that makes my toes curl and my knees go weak. It is cliché and delicious and beautiful. It is exactly the lead in I want for a night of passion with him.

“I can’t.” He whispers against my lips. “I don’t want to use you.”

“Please use me,” I counter. “Use me hard.”

“You deserve more than that.” He kisses me again, softer this time, and taps my nose. “I’ll see you again soon, Derby Princess.”

I watch him walk away, held up by my front door. This evening was more than anything I could have hoped for, but it left my heart more twisted than ever. A darkening area of my brain knows this can’t go on and can spell ruin, but a bigger, brighter part wants to get lost in him and never find the way out.

I don’t know where to go.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

ERIC

A bright white envelope sits on my desk when I walk in Tuesday morning. Our interdepartmental envelopes are a disgusting yellow, so it’s not another note from Hazel in accounting. Her “memos” are nothing more than a thinly veiled plea for a date.

Not interested. Not with Kate in my life. Whatever is going on with her. I haven’t told a soul and don’t plan to. I don’t understand what happens to me when I’m around her, but I’m tired of fighting it. I’m tired of busting my ass in the gym and in the courtroom to sweat her out. It hasn’t worked.

Time to just embrace it.

“Sophie, do you know what this envelope is?” I call over my shoulder. “Who brought it?”

“No idea, Mr. Stevens.” She pops her head in the office. “Want me to ask around?”

“Nah. I’ll just have my coffee first. Wanted a jump on it.”

I pour a cup and study it. As a habit, I don’t like opening envelopes first thing in the morning. Anything could be in there, and I mean anything. A client’s ex once mailed me her used panties. Another time, an attempt at blackmail.

Never try to blackmail a lawyer unless you’ve got something really, really fucking good. That guy didn’t.

Caffeinated, I sit down and slice it open with a pocket knife, expecting the worst. Hell, for all I know it’s an announcement that I’m a daddy or some shit. Never sticks, though. God love those condoms, ladies.

I pull out a stack of photos that take me only seconds to recognize. It’s the prints from my fake date with Kate at Descanso. I’d almost forgotten about them at this point and have no idea what took Paxton this goddamn long to print them.

There are at least three dozen here with the film taped to a signed form, assuring there are no other copies floating around. Standard procedure every time we do this shit.

I flip my desk phone over to Do Not Disturb and go through all the glossy photos slowly, taking my time to savor each one. Paxton is getting pretty good after this many stings. He really knows how to angle it so things look convincing.

If I recall properly, though, not much convincing was needed on the part of Kate McArthur. She had walls up, but she willingly knocked them down to let Sir Eric on over. It’s fun, though, to see her reaction to my flowers and picnic. I spent so much time vying for angles in the beginning, I missed most of it.

The way she looks at me in these stirs more feelings in my gut. Feelings I can’t ignore any longer. I touch her face in each of them like I’m touching her in real life and feel an overwhelming sense of… happiness? Pride? Joy?

“I see you got the pictures.”

Paxton materializes in front of me and I nearly jump out of my skin at the surprise. Hastily trying to restack them, I cough and shrug.

“Not bad, Pax. You’re on your way to a Terry O’Neil award.”

“Shame I couldn’t get the naughty ones later. Your floor was too high up.” I shoot him a look but he laughs. “I’m kidding, bro. Kidding. Though it would have made for some great evidence. Unfortunately, I think most of the judges know what your bare ass looks like.”

“I just know how to work a crowd. What can I say?” I shove the pictures back in the envelope. “Thanks for the help.”

Paxton knocks his knuckles against the table and stares at me hard. “Going to use them?”

“I’ll have to look them all over again. Most of them make it pretty clear it’s me in the shots and I need plausible deniability. Don’t need to get fined again, you know? I like my job.”

“Bullshit.”

“I like getting paid by my job.”

“Better.”

I kick my feet up on the desk and sip my coffee. Paxton does the same. We’ve been friends for a long fucking time and we both know this is just a front we’re putting up. He doesn’t say anything, though, and neither do I.

Now that he’s said it, I am disappointed he didn’t have photos from our first night together. That is a memory I wouldn’t mind reliving a time or five. Kate was clearly looking for something to fill a void and I just so happened to have a dick that did the job.

After a long dry spell of terrible bar hookups, that was the first time in a very long time I’d enjoyed myself in the bedroom. Everything about her was intoxicating, from her scent to the way she moved on top of me.

A video would be even better than photos.

“Ready to cut the bullshit yet?” Paxton clears his throat and takes another sip of his coffee. “There are at least four fucking amazing shots in there you can use. You had her eating out of your palm and there were plenty of branches in the way to hide your identity. Everyone looking will know it’s not David. That’s fucking talent right there.”

“I guess I’ll have to look again.”

“I said cut the bullshit.” Paxton sit back up and stares me down. “I know you’ve got your dick twisted around this girl, Eric. It’s fucking weird, but I get it. Trust me when I say I do. However, I also know your career is riding on this shit and if you let her derail you—”

“I know, man. Shit.” I sit up, too and wave him off. “Get the fuck out of here. I’ve got work to do.”

“You need to put that shit in David’s file. Right now. While I’m watching.”

“I need to find these pictures you bragged so much about first.”

“I’ll pull them out for you.”

“Paxton.” I’ve hit my limit and then some. Paxton stands, his hands in the air and nods. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I’ve got this.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“If you say you got it, I’ll trust you to have it. Don’t let yourself down.”

“I won’t.”

He shuts the door and leaves me with a headache. I go back through the pictures and find some of the shots he mentioned. They really were convincing. Her lips were pursed and her eyes hooded, like she was waiting to be kissed. Flipping through them takes me back to that evening, under a tree, surrounded by flowers and birds with a beautiful woman.

It was fake, that whole meeting. But it didn’t feel fake after a while.

I shove the photos back in the mix and throw them all in a bottom desk drawer.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

KATE

Things are finally coming together for the charity gala in the ways I like to see: finalized plans, confirmed reservations, venue decorations boxed up and ready to be hung, and more lattes than the eye can see. Lily and I have been plugging away for weeks and it’s finally feeling complete.

“This time last year, we didn’t have half this much done.” Lily sticks a pen in her hair and stares at the whiteboards and blackboards hung around the office. “This is incredible. What’s different this year?”

“No David.” I stand next to her and mimic her pose. “Last year he was constantly getting in the way, confusing the vendors, keeping me away from it all.”

“I remember that.” Lily frowns and throws an arm around my neck. “I’m glad he’s gone.”

“You and me both.”

“Maybe now you can really take Los Angeles by storm. No man holding you back and all that.”

“You mean we.” I shoot her a friendly wink. “I am nothing in this town without you.”

“Please. I’d still be stuck serving lattes and microwaved breakfast sandwiches if it wasn’t for you. This stuff changed my life.”

“Hopefully it’ll change a lot more.” I study all the boards again and take a deep breath. “A children’s benefit usually swings big numbers, but I’m hoping for astronomical dollar signs after the year I’ve had. I want this to be my big coming out party. To show the world Kate McArthur means business, with or without a ring on her finger.”

“Ferocious like a tiger.” Lily growls at me and laughs. “I believe it will. This will put you on the map, Kate. Everyone looks forward to your events, but I really think this will be our best yet.”

We take pictures of all the boards, update all our notes, and box the completed projects away for the night. We are so much more productive right now that it’s insane. There are so many tiny ways my life is better without David.

I like that. I like knowing, no matter what happens, I’ll still be able to live my life without him. For years, I was known as his wife. Never mind I started in this town. Never mind I introduced him to my friends. David scored big with the comic book universe and it was suddenly, “Kate Who?”

It used to be that my thoughts were consumed with David and what an asshole he’s been to me. My mind would play over and over every stupid moment I later regretted. Starting with that stupid, drunken night I slept with him.

No more.

Now all I can think about is Eric, and the way he spun me around on roller skates. About the way he fills my body, both physically and emotionally. He consumes me.

Every moment I’m away from him, I ache. I actually want to go back into mediation, just to see him.

“Speaking of, kind of.” Lily turns, bright smile on her face. She’s practically vibrating, which is bizarre behaviour for her. “I met someone.”

“What?” I shriek and clamp my hands over my mouth. “I mean, what? When?”

“A few weeks ago.” She blushes. “I didn’t want to say anything because it’s been so chaotic for you and I didn’t want to make it seem like I was bragging.”

“Shut up. Lily! That’s amazing! Tell me all about him!”

“Well, it started off very low-key and quiet. One night, you left the bar early and we sort of flirted for a while. It’s been weeks of it, actually. We never exchanged numbers until last night. It’s been over a month, Kate. I thought I was going to die.”

“Worth it?”

“Very.” A huge grin cuts through her face. “He’s such a gentleman. Always bought my drinks, would never let me pay no matter how hard I tried. And girl, I tried. Slipped my credit card over early and everything. He always managed to take it. Opened the door for me, walked me to my car.”

“That’s so sweet!” I squeeze her arm. I’ve watched Lily lead a terrible dating life for years now and it’s wonderful to finally see her happy. Still, something about it hits me in all the wrong spaces. We don’t ever talk like this about Eric because we aren’t together, not really. She’d tear me apart if she learned about our date to the rink.

“It is! And weird after Bobby. I took care of everything with him for years. To have someone want to look out for me is so strange but so nice. We have so much in common, too. It’s insane, Kate. He loves the same obscure shit I do.”

“Well, that’s awfully… obscure.”

“Very funny. We were talking about all these incredibly terrible old sci-fi movies we both love and it turns out we have the same favorites. It was like my soulmate popped out of the earth and appeared on a bar stool.”

“How romantic.”

“I know it sounds so cheesy, but I thought you might understand. I’m just so freaking excited, Kate. We’re going out later tonight for the first time. Thankfully, he’s not one of those jerks who feels the need to adhere to some stupid three-day rule for calling.”

“That’s not still a thing, is it?” I ask, moderately horrified. “I mean, we’re all grownups now. Surely that’s not still something guys do.”

“It is. For certain subsets of the male species anyway.” Lily wrinkles her nose. “So, tell me about Eric. How is that going?”

“Oh.” I busy myself with reorganizing our desk to keep from meeting her very prying gaze. “Nothing really is happening. David showed up the other night, though.”

“What?” Lily’s jaw drops. “He did not. What did he say?”

“Well,” I shudder, remembering the evening more clearly than I’d like. “He came over with roses, begging to be forgiven. He cried, Lily. It was terrible. I finally agreed to talk to him and went to change. He was standing naked in my living room.”

“Naked?”

“Naked. Fully. He didn’t look like he was crying anymore, either. Go figure.”

“That man needs to be castrated.”

“That would certainly make a lot of things easier. He’s disgusting and I really hate him.”

“I don’t blame you.”

Her phone rings, of course the new man. While she chats him up, I find myself staring at my own phone, waiting for a call that won’t come. It’s like I’m living in the spaces in between my life. Things happen, but at the wrong times, or when they shouldn’t. I can’t fully enjoy anything.

Nausea sweeps over me and I excuse myself from the room for fresh air. This love business is going to kill me.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

ERIC

Six in the evening rolls around. I reach into my office mini fridge and pull out a beer. At the rate Sophie stacks paper on my desk, I’m going to be here all night. I’ve been working on my other cases consistently until the last few weeks and catching up will kill me.

David has required extra babysitting. He’s been caught sneaking around Los Angeles again and I’m about to really have the asshole put under house arrest so I don’t have a heart attack from his bullshit.

I down the beer and pick up a file to review. It’s not all celebrities in my office, mostly business executives or people with daddy’s money making a marriage go away. Like it’s no big deal. Like those papers they signed and the promises they made before whatever deity they chose were meaningless.

I hate everything about marriage. It’s not sacred, it’s a billion-dollar industry. Everything from the reception to the divorce is covered in price tag stickers, and I am no exception. Hell, most people use me as a pawn in their manipulative bullshit.

As long as they pay, they can use me however they want. I’ll just sit here, silently, and grow an ulcer and loathe everything about the institution.

For one tiny, fleeting moment, Kate crosses my mind. I immediately punt it back down to the depths, because that is insanity. We had a great date. We had a great second date. But we also have a very complicated situation.

And I’m more than a little freaked I’ve started to grow weirdass feelings that violate all my core beliefs because she makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Three beers in and I’ve finally caught up on the Williamses case. Their assets are a lot simpler, but there is a kid involved. Those are my least favorite cases and I still don’t understand how I got stuck with this shit. I don’t like how people treat kids as pawns in divorces.

I didn’t always hate humanity. Once, years ago, I liked people. I wanted to help. I went to law school. And then I met the gritty underside to humanity and wanted to watch the sky burn.

“I knew you’d still be here.” Paxton and Geoff waltz into my office. Paxton holds out a hand. “Beer me.”

I toss them both one and close the Williamses file. Reading about their custody squabbles was going to ruin my evening, so I can use the break.

“What are you assholes still doing here?”

“Same as you.” Geoff adjusts his clear lens glasses. “Pax decided we all needed a breather.”

“What we need to do is order a fuckton of shitty Chinese and pile in one of the conference rooms. I hate staying here this damn late. Makes me think work owns my soul.” Paxton scowls.

“Welcome to being an attorney.”

“Shut up, Geoff.”

“I could order some Chinese. It’s my turn, anyway.” Geoff offers. It always amazes me how unfazed he is by the verbal abuse he endures from us daily… and then he turns around and buys dinner. “I’ll grab the menus from the break room.”

Paxton watches Geoff walk out and turns on me. “What are you doing with those pictures?”

“What pictures?”

“Don’t play dumb with me. We all know what fucking pictures. The pictures you’re probably jacking off to in here every day or whatever stupid shit because you can’t nut up and handle your case like a big boy.”

“Fuck you.” I crack open another beer to steady my hands. “I’ve got like thirty cases running right now. Thirty in-depth cases that are being railroaded over by a glutton in cheap sunglasses. I’m working on it.”

“Are you? Who have you talked to about leaking the pictures?”

“I’m taking offers right now.” I lie smoothly. “I want them in the best hands. This case is bigger than the others and requires a monsoon, not just a splash.”

“Right.” Paxton crosses his arm and narrows his eyes. “I feel like a broken record around you.”

“How so?”

“Because I’m calling bullshit again.”

“Fuck off, Pax. I’ve got my people working on it while I’m getting my ass back together for these other cases. Don Williams is now leaving messages every day because he’s unhappy with how little attention he’s getting. Vivica Gattis is doing the same goddamn thing. I’m drowning in unhappy assholes right now, so cut me some slack.”

“This is what you get for sticking your dick where it doesn’t belong.”

“Oh, fuck off. I’ve slept with plenty of clients’ exes. You love to brag about that shit to all your friends back home, so don’t act so goddamn high and mighty about it now.”

“Sure, but those are always one-time events. Those are salutes to a job well done. You’re an asshole for it, but they end, Eric. How long have you been fucking with Kate now? A month? More?”

“I’ve only slept with her a few times.” I snap. “It’s not like I’m fucking her every day, okay? It’s a casual thing.”

“Quit lying to yourself or you’ll fuck your whole case.” Paxton rolls his eyes. “Do you know what David McArthur will do to you when he finds out you’ve been banging his wife? He’ll kill you.”

“He can’t touch me. That dude is all hot air. If he tries to bail on payment, I’ll just sue him. He’s so tied up in contracts he won’t be able to piss without paying me. I’ll be fine. Lay off my ass, Pax. I’m tired of your shit.”

“Tired of my shit?” Paxton’s whole tone changes. For the first time in all these tireless exchanges, he looks genuinely angry. “I’m watching you sit back and fuck over not one, but three people with this dumbass stunt of yours. Do you really not give a shit about anyone besides yourself?”

“What the fuck does that mean? If she didn’t want to fuck me, she wouldn’t fuck me. Don’t project your shitty singlehood onto me.”

“That’s rich.” Paxton snorts. “At least I’m not fucking a poor, confused woman who is dealing with her ex-husband who is trying to rob her blind.”

“You’re the asshole telling me to fuck her over with these pictures!”

“It’s like you can’t even see what’s in front of your own goddamn face.” Paxton storms out and catches Geoff at the door. “Come on, we’ll go get our own Chinese. Eric needs some time to sit and think about what he’s done.”

“Dead to me, Pax.”

“I’m not dicking around, Eric.”

The door slams behind them, leaving the office very quiet very suddenly. I hurl a pen across the room and try to convince myself it’s all bullshit anyway, but I’m just left in a twisted mess. Whatever truth there was to Paxton’s words, I don’t want to hear it.

I yank out the staged photos and flip through them again, watching Kate’s face the entire time. She doesn’t look like a poor, confused woman. She laughs and smiles with me. We’re happy together, which is more than I can say about being here.

I throw them on the desk, lock my office and head to the gym. I need to clear my head.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

KATE

“I think I like Claire’s classes better than Anna’s.” Lily pulls a shirt over her head and shoots me a look over her shoulder. “Don’t tell anyone I said that.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it. You’re very right.” I pack the rest of my shower supplies in my bag and give my hair a shake. Yoga and a shower is currently all I’m living for. “She’s less judgmental than Anna, too.”

“Probably because of her media fast or whatever the hell she calls it. Ignorance is bliss.”

“And God love her for that.”

Despite hiding in my apartment and seldom coming out, the paparazzi picked up substantially over the last few days. David’s been, well, David, and people began speculating where I am and what I’m doing with my time. Go figure, I stop having sex and people start talking about it.

Vivian enjoyed her I-told-you-so speech a lot.

“Where to for lunch?” Lily asks.

We step out of the dimly lit studio into the blinding sun. It’s hot, but salt lingers in a cool breeze. My mouth waters for sushi and a mai tai on the beach. There is not a thing in the world ahi tuna wonton nachos can’t cure.

“Let’s go to Ruby’s.” I dig in my purse for my keys. I always forget to grab them when repacking my bag, and they always end up at the bottom. “I need a little fish and beach therapy after that session. Carry out the good energy vibes and all that.”

Lily stops behind me and doesn’t answer. I turn around, still rifling through my bag.

“If you’d rather go somewhere else, that’s fine. I’m just jonesing for some nachos.”

“Hello Kate.”

I freeze. Every good energy vibe I’d accrued in my hour of Bikram floods out of me and a high-pitched ringing in my ears spurs an instant headache. His mere presence is going to kill me. This has to be his plan.

“What do you want?” Lily steps in front of me and crosses her arms. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to talk to my wife.”

“Ex.” I say firmly and finally find my keys. I grasp them with a key between two fingers, just in case. “I’m not your wife anymore. Remember?”

“State doesn’t think so.”

“Matter of time.” Lily spits.

“We didn’t get a chance to talk before, Kate.” David continues like Lily didn’t say anything. “I misread the situation, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still talk.”

“Misread? That’s how you’re going to look at it?” I stare at him in disbelief. “What the hell made you think I’d sleep with you just because you showed up at my door?”

“With roses.”

“I don’t even like roses.”

“Sure you do. You always loved the roses I brought you. Don’t let this temper your memories of us, Kate. Don’t stoop that low.”

“Stoop that low?” Am I in the twilight zone? Did I really fall down the rabbit hole? “I said I’d talk to you, not that I’d sleep with you.”

“Well, it worked the night before we started mediation.”

“That was a drunken moment of weakness, you dumbass.” Lily yells. She sounds as befuddled and angry as I feel. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“This is none of your business, Lily.” David waves her off and holds out another bouquet of roses. “Kate, these are for you. Your favorites. I know this because we know each other. We loved each other once and we can do it again.”

“No, we can’t.” I swallow down the building rage. “I hate roses, David. I don’t particularly like you, either. Get off my car.”

“I’ll call the police.” Lily threatens. “They’ll come and remove your ass from the car if you won’t.”

“They won’t do shit. That car is still in my name.”

“Our name.” I snap.

“Don’t you have another girl tied up somewhere, waiting to be disappointed by your tiny dick?” Lily steps between us again. “You don’t deserve Kate and you sure as hell don’t deserve to talk to her.”

“Like she’s not fucking someone else, too.” David says it like it’s an established fact. It sends a jolt of ice through my veins. “But that doesn’t matter to me, Kate, because we belong to each other. If we need to open our marriage, then so be it. But we belong together. You can have a boyfriend on the side. It’s okay. We can make it work.”

“You’re unbelievable.” I mutter. “You are so goddamn disgusting. We aren’t getting back together! I don’t need a boyfriend on the side, I just need you out of my life. You started this, remember? You screwed around and shattered everything we had.”

“That’s because you started sleeping with someone else.” David waves me off like he did with Lily, like I was a fly who annoyed him. “You didn’t want to sleep with me anymore because you were getting it elsewhere, so I went elsewhere, too. All you have to do is sleep with me again and we can cut out everyone else on the side.”

“You really are insane.” I don’t even know how to talk to him like this. I want him to walk off the edge of the planet and eviscerate. “I wasn’t sleeping with anyone. You were a disgusting jackass who didn’t listen to me and treated me like shit. We’ve been over all this in mediation and therapy, remember? You were supposed to sign the divorce papers a year ago! I’m not going to talk to you about this anymore. It’s done.”

“It’s not over until I say it’s over, Kate.” David changes from ridiculous to dangerous in the span of a breath. He slides off my car and advances on me. “You don’t get to make the decision to end this. We do what I say.”

“You don’t own me.” I spit, but my hands clench tighter around my keys. “I’m not a prop you move around sets. I’m a person you took advantage of for too damn long. Go away, David.”

“I’m not going anywhere until you agree to talk to me. This charade is going to end, Kate. Thinking about you fucking someone else is making me crazy. When I find out who it is, I’ll kill them. Don’t think I won’t.”

“You thought I got a side boyfriend?” I sass over Lily’s arm. “Guess you’re still as full of shit as before.”

“You are mine.” David growls. “You can’t satisfy my appetite, but that doesn’t mean this ends. Step up your game and everything will be fine.”

“You are getting divorced, dumbass.” Lily tries to shove him backwards but he barely moves. “And now you threatened her with bodily harm. That’s not going to hold well in court.”

“Stay out of this.” He sneers.

“I’d rather live in a cardboard box than go back to you.” I hold up my fist with the key. “Get away from me.”

“I’m one button push away from the cops showing up. Get the hell away from us.” Lily lifts her phone enough to show him, but keeps it close to her body. “Try me. Just try me.”

“You’d rather live in a cardboard box, eh?” David laughs. It’s evil, sinister, totally unhinged. “I can make that happen. Just watch me.”

“One more step and I’m calling.” Lily warns.

David throws the bouquet at me and mutters, “Fucking bitch.”

I stand tall until he gets in his car and peels out of the parking lot. It’s only then that I allow myself to collapse.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

ERIC

My legal pad is a series of scribbled tits and asses. This conversation is exhausting and my side is losing. Which means I don’t want to play anymore.

The day David McArthur leaves my life is going to be glorious. Best damn day of my life. It can’t get here soon enough.

“Are you even listening?” Vivian snaps her fingers in my face. “I don’t think you’ve listened to a word I’ve said in the last five minutes.”

“Closer to ten.” I toss my pen on the table. “I don’t know why this couldn’t be done over the phone? You know as well as I nothing we do will make either party happy. David’s an asshole, Kate’s not budging, neither of them can be made happy.”

“You’re the side who is refusing to acknowledge Kate’s fair share of the combined assets. This is her life, her money, too. Expecting to her roll over on it is ignorant.”

“Not ignorant. Her name isn’t on the accounts.” I point out and spin the pen over my thumb. It was an old debate intimidation tactic we used at competitions, back in my cooler days. It never actually intimidated anyone, but it was a tick that let every lawyer find his fellow forensics nerds.

Spoiler: Vivian is not one. Nor is she intimidated.

“Yes, and we’ve already established how that happened. He intentionally misled Kate. That’s a problem.”

“He was within his legal rights. I don’t know why we’re still talking about this.”

“You know as well as I do skirting the law isn’t looked upon favorably in court.”

“David isn’t going to settle for these terms.” I shrug carelessly even though it kills me inside.

Vivian is correct and David is a raging asshole for what he did, even if he had the legal right to do it. Kate is getting screwed by the guy who liked to screw the help, and there is no poetic justice to it.

“And Kate won’t settle for anything less.”

She is smart not to.

“You’ve got to meet us in the middle, Viv. I know neither of them want this to be handled by a judge, but there has to be some give.”

“All she wants is her fair share.”

“The law doesn’t say it’s hers to take.”

“The law most certainly does.”

“Look, infidelity cases are messy. He’s insistent she started the chain of affairs. Even if she didn’t, sleeping with someone outside their marriage is not grounds to take the money.”

“What are you talking about? He violated what is essentially a contract.” Vivian stares at me like I’m dumb.

“A contract that never explicitly states they cannot venture outside their bedroom for companions. It’s not an issue unless someone tries to say it is.”

“Someone did say it is, so now it’s an issue.”

“Look, we can argue their respective merits all day—”

“Like how your client is a notorious slime bag while mine is a celebrated humanitarian?”

“—but it won’t change that his name is on the accounts and hers isn’t.”

“We both know that won’t hold up.”

I shrug again.

She’s right and every day that passes makes me consider this. I can’t let David screw her over. I’m already making a pretty penny on this case once it finalizes and I can let some of that go if it means I’m not aiding him in her total destruction. But I still have to make it look kind of convincing or my ass is grass at work.

“Well, this is what we are bringing to the judge. I was hoping we could work some of the smaller details out, but if you aren’t willing to budge, then I see this meeting was useless.”

“Which is why I requested a phone call.” I smile thinly. “Look, Vivian, I know you know this isn’t personal. This guy, say what you want about him, doesn’t want to settle for anything less than this.”

“So you are willing to let this go to court and risk getting worse than what we are offering by a judge who can smell his bullshit from a mile away?”

Fair question. And yes, at this rate, I am very much willing to risk that. Let the fucker go bankrupt and Kate get what she deserves. I’d still get paid at the end of it.

“You know I can only do so much.”

“I strongly recommend you talk to David.” Vivian packs up her bag and shakes her head. “Is he really as awful as he sounds?”

“Worse.” I pinch the bridge over my nose. “You have no fucking idea, Viv. He’s the worst client I’ve ever had.”

“Is that right.” She studies me carefully. “I think you’re up to something.”

“What?”

“You don’t back down. I smell bullshit brewing.”

If one more fucking person calls bullshit on me, I’m going to lose it. “I’m not brewing anything, Viv. Yes, he really is that bad. No, he won’t settle for less. I don’t know what else you want from me.”

“You never concede anything like this in our meetings.”

“I’ve never had a client like him.”

My phone vibrates. I glance down to make sure it’s not David. Even better, it’s a picture message from Kate. My pants tighten without even looking at it. The last few pictures messages from her have been… inspiring.

“Eric.”

“What?” I slide my phone under the table and open it. Kate is draped over a familiar chaise, naked. She says she’s waiting for me. My cock jumps at attention, waiting for her, too.

“You know I don’t play games. And we both know you thrive on them.”

“For fucks sake, Vivian.” I slide the phone in my briefcase with the rest of my useless notes. “I’m not going to entertain this shit. We’re both better than this.”

“Fine.” She stands and shoulders her bag. “Be prepared to lose.”

“Hasn’t happened yet.”

“First time for everything.” She offers a tight smile and leaves quietly.

Another photo comes to my phone, a very naughty one featuring my favorite humanitarian. My cock throbs in my slacks. After this terrible meeting, I could really use her writhing under me.

We haven’t seen each other much because of my work load. And, if I’m being honest, because I haven’t known fully what to do with her. For as often as I think about her, our precarious situation looms over my head like a guillotine.

Every moment together with her is the best of my life. But I represent her ex, and I can’t exactly walk off the case.

I’d thought about it more than once. David truly is the worst client I’ve ever had, but it would screw over Kate more than anything else. Quitting the case to sit by her side will look fucking terrible before a judge.

A few more weeks. I could do this for a few more weeks. I’ll step up my visits with Kate and use sex as a stress relief. Maybe she needs more sex as a stress relief, too.

I throw my briefcase in the back seat of my car and head out. Not even Los Angeles traffic can kill my raging erection.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

KATE

Eric is breathless when he opens the door. I can’t stop the stupid grin and the fizzy bubbles from flooding through me, and I don’t want to anymore. All I want, after this terrible week, is to lose myself in the man who turns my world upside down.

“I need you.” Eric’s voice rumbles over me. He lays his jacket and tie on the bar. “I need to forget this whole goddamn week and only see you. For just a little while.”

“Me, too.” I push myself off the chaise and help him undo his buttons. Just being near him instantly silences the buzzing in my mind. “You’re the only thing that makes sense right now.”

He covers my hands with his and kisses me with fire. Words aren’t needed anymore. We melt together like snow and everything slows: my heart, my breath, the world.

I pull off his shirt and place it with his jacket, followed by his pants and belt after he slips out of them. Eric presses himself against my back, his cock rubbing against my lower back. His hands leave a trail of heat across my chest and stomach. Kisses drift down my shoulder and up my neck.

Every other encounter together has been desperate, needy. This feels different, more comfortable. More tender.

Eric kisses down my other shoulder and caresses my breasts with soft fingers. We sway together gently to a silent song as we rub each other. I slide the band of his boxer briefs over his cock and run my fingers across his great girth, following the trail of veins to his head.

He groans and rests his head against the back of mine. I repeat the motion over and over, loving his sounds and the feel of him tensing against me. For all his dominance, he never makes me feel uncomfortable. Instead, I thrive on knowing how I undo him.

Eric gently turns me and presses his cock against my stomach. My center aches to have him inside, but I instead slide down him and hook his waistband with my fingers. He steps out of his last shred of clothing and towers over me, magnificently erect.

I caress his length between my breasts and lick his head with each pass. Eric groans and grasps the edge of the bar every time I do. Fucking him with my mouth is an experience all its own. Not only is it incredibly sexy, and drives me to pleasure myself while pleasure him, but I feel in total control.

The moment he thrusts his hips toward me, I slow down and pull hard with my mouth. His fists tighten around my hair but I don’t take him back in my mouth. Instead, I exhale slowly across him and stroke the soft skin between his balls.

He responds with a deep moan. I’m slowly learning what drives him crazy and I love it.

Eric pulls me up to him and kisses me again. He leans me against the bar and throws himself into each touch. It feels like he’s writing me a love song with his tongue and I could listen to it all day. We wouldn’t need sex if he continues to kiss me like this.

“I need to be inside you,” he whispers in my ear. “I need to feel all of you around me.”

“Need is such a strong word.” I tease.

“It isn’t strong enough.”

I lead him to the bed and move him into a seated position against the headboard. This is my new favorite position, where we can be close while making love to one another. I love to watch his face contort as he thrusts into me. I love to be bare and exposed when I fly apart with his cock inside me.

We move together slowly and kiss through the movement. It transcends every other experience together. Our bodies move seamlessly against one another; where he goes, I follow. Where he thrusts, I take. Where I push, he pulls. We become one entity in motion.

“Kate.” Eric gasps a little as I grind into him. His lashes flutter and he stares at me with such deep emotion I almost come from the power of it. “I—”

“I know.” I whisper against his lips.

“I don’t think you do.”

I place a palm on his chest and curl my hips harder against him. He closes his eyes and rests his head against the headboard as I move. His fingers press into me territorially and that exact moment is when it hits me, hard.

I want this man in my life forever. I don’t care how. I just want to look at him like this every day and lose myself in the waves of passion.

“Eric.” I whisper his name because the pressure in my chest mounts. I can barely breathe through the growing buildup between my legs.

Before, it always came quickly and burned through me. This orgasm comes in cresting waves, threatening to diffuse and send me into a million pieces.

“Eric.”

“I know.” He says quietly, a moan escaping him.

“No, you don’t.”

He cradles my head and pulls me to him without a break in the gyrating of his hips. We are forehead to forehead, breaths quickened, vision blurred. I can’t stop the moans from spilling over my lips because I can no longer control my body.

The electric fingers of the mounting orgasm settle into my lungs and threaten to seize. Our eyes meet and I feel the emotions he can’t bring himself to voice. The longing that radiates throughout him.

The love that flows between us, hot and unspoken.

As soon as that word populates behind my eyes, that pesky little four-letter word, I finally succumb to release. I gasp out his name and tears spill down my cheeks. My entire body shatters and rearranges itself under his touch. I don’t know the sky from the ground and I’m flying through space and time.

His grunts increase and he thrusts against me harder, working my hips against his cock in a frenzy. He bites down on my shoulder and gasps as his own orgasm rips through him. We cling to each other while our heart rates settle, panting and dizzy.

“You’re going to be the end of me.” He murmurs.

“No,” I cup his face in my hands and kiss him softly, “we are the new beginning.”

“I don’t think you know what you’re asking.”

“I think it’s time to stop pretending, Eric.”

He doesn’t say anything, but I can see his thoughts warring against his heart. The struggle over what he wants. The struggle I know so well.

“I know what I want.”

“This is a chaotic time in your life.” He says it slowly and doesn’t look at me, which somehow makes it feel even worse.

“The chaotic period has passed. This is the resolution. I’m not helpless, okay? This is not something I’m clinging to as a sick sort of rebound.”

His face scrunches for a moment. “That’s not what I meant. I just don’t want to take advantage of you, Kate. I’ve done too much of that in my past. It’s not what I want for you.”

“What do you want for me?” I ask softly.

Again, the words stop up behind his lips. I can’t bring myself to say them either. I kiss him instead.

We have time to figure it out.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

ERIC

“Mr. Stevens?” Sophie’s face is taut when she steps into my office, which is never a good sign.

“This can’t be good.” I close the file laid out before me and recline in my chair. “Is it Williams?”

She shakes her head.

“Vivica Gattis?” Another shake. Shit. I stack my files together and toss them into a desk drawer. “All right. Send the asshole in.”

“Asshole? I knew we’d be friends.” David McArthur quips, letting himself in with a wink. “You’re my brand of man, Eric.”

“Glad to hear it.” Years in a courtroom keep my jaw from clenching. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Updates. I know you met with Kate’s lawyer recently.”

“Correct. I told you no headway was made and we are going to court.”

“That’s what I don’t like.” David clicks his tongue and shakes his head. “I don’t want this to go to court and create a bigger circus than it is already. I need you to get her to back down.”

“Unfortunately, your whoring about Hollywood has given them an extra boost of fight. I warned you to keep it low-key when this whole thing started, David. There’s a reason why I tell you to do something. I’m the expert here, remember?”

“It’s not whoring. I’m just enjoying myself. Though, this past weekend could probably cross the line.” David grins widely at me. “Tom Watts threw a killer party at his mansion. Girls everywhere. God bless the bikini, am I right?”

“David.” I seethe quietly and struggle to keep my voice level. At the rate this guy is going, I’m going to be the laughing stock of the courthouse. No one in their right mind would continue to deal with this bullshit. “If you can’t stop your fucking antics, I’m going to have to drop your case.”

“Excuse me?” The smile drops and something I’m sure he meant to be sinister surfaces. How adorable. I could beat the mouth of this guy in two seconds. “You can’t do that.”

“The hell I can’t. You have repeatedly ignored every direct instruction on how to handle this case. Blatant disobedience every time. I know you don’t give a shit about your reputation, but I have a damn good one. I am not going to represent a sinking ship.”

“This isn’t a goddamn sinking ship.” David jabs his finger against my desk. “I endured a hellish relationship with that woman for years. I’m entitled to have fun.”

“You’re entitled to do whatever you want. Unless you want to win complete rights to your assets. If that’s the case, you keep your fucking pants on and don’t look at one more pair of tits for the next couple of weeks.”

David stares at me for a minute. My fingers itch to throw a right hook and watch him sail across my office floor. He laughs and shakes his finger at me. I’m going to need intensive boxing therapy tonight so I don’t lose my mind.

“I see what this is. A scare-him-straight technique. I got you, man. I know there’s no way you’d give up the money I’m paying you.”

“Contrary to apparent belief, I don’t need your fucking money. I do, however, need my reputation. I’m not going to have you ruin me in your quest to ruin yourself.”

“This is bullshit,” David spits. “I could just fire you, you know.”

“By all means.” I raise my hands in the air. “I’ll have Sophie send you a final bill.”

“If you think I’d pay—”

“You signed a contract, David.” I pull his file out of the case behind me and flip to our initial agreement he signed weeks ago. “It says here either party can terminate at any time, but a final bill will be sent regardless, and you are obligated to pay. You happily signed. Need to read it again?”

“No. I remember.” David’s mouth is thin but he shakes his head as if it’s water under the bridge. “I know lawyers have very stressful jobs. I’m sure you just need a vacation. Yeah, I can keep my dick to myself for a few more weeks if it means we can get this done quick.”

“Good.”

Inside, I am raging. I know I should just cut him loose, but that means delaying the trial and extending the headache for Kate. If I can do anything for her, it’s ensuring she’s not fucked in this process. If I develop six ulcers, but she gets what’s fair, then I’ll call it worth it.

“She’s out fucking someone else, you know. She’s quiet about it, but I know her.” David says.

“You also said she cheated on your during your marriage but have been unable to prove it.” My heartbeat thuds against my eardrums. “Do you have proof now?”

“Nah.” He shrugs. “She’s probably fucking the whole of the Angels right now, know what I mean? She was always slutty. That whole good-girl act was a publicity stunt. We need to use that in court, show it’s just an act.”

“I’d love to.” I grit my teeth. “If you can provide me proof.”

“I should have hired that private investigator months ago.” He chews his lip. “I tried to get her to take me back. Bypass this whole mess, you know. Let her keep living in the house but open up the marriage. I’d still keep my money and the women, she could still keep her home. That’s fucking fair, right?”

My blood pressure skyrockets. I try to remind myself this guy is a piece of trash. That Kate is not technically mine to defend. That we are, indeed, having sex while she is divorcing this human dumpster. None of it matters.

“She refused. Can you believe that? Her little friend threatened to call the cops on me. They said I threatened them or some shit. Complete fabrication. Things are getting desperate over there in Camp Kate.”

“David. Did you threaten someone?”

“God no. I’m not an idiot.”

He definitely threatened someone. Great. I just need to drop David and move the hell on with my life. Maybe I can refer him to someone who I trust, someone who won’t fuck over the woman I love to fuck.

“Anyway. She’s just mad because I fucked her good and then left again.”

Everything slides to a manic halt. A ringing floods my ears.

“You slept with her? Recently?”

“Shit yeah, man. She’s a crazy bitch, but that pussy is sweet. I needed another taste, know what I mean? She loved it, too. Came like three times, cried about how much she still loves me and how she hates how our relationship ended. I told her I needed time to think about it.”

“I thought you offered an open relationship?”

“That was after. She loves the McArthur dick, man. And while it’s great pussy, really, I can’t be held down. There’s so much of me to go around. I know you know what’s up.” He laughs and slaps my desk again. “But seriously, man. She got clingy as hell after we fucked. She was really offended by the idea of sharing me. That must be why they rejected our offer. She’s trying to get me to change my mind.”

“How long ago was this? That you two slept together?” I ask. There’s no way this can be legitimate.

“A few weeks ago. Two, maybe? I came over with roses and told her I missed her. Stripped down naked and jumped me like the hungry bitches at the club. I’ve got pictures somewhere. Thought it would help the case. Guess not.”

“Yeah.” Something inside me collapses. Something sharp. “I guess not.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

KATE

I’ve lost my corkscrew and it’s terribly inconvenient. I could have sworn it was on the counter, but that was a whole bottle of wine ago and plenty has happened since then. It could be anywhere. Back in the drawer, in the trash, the sink.

Not actually in any of those places, but it could have been before I looked.

“Fuck.”

I stare at the bottle and hate it for the injustice it’s serving me. All I want to do is get obliteratingly drunk and forget the world around me. Instead, I’m left with a strong buzz and no way to continue my own destruction.

“It’s a twist top, Kate.”

I scream and grab a knife from the block on the counter. Hannah holds up her hands and smiles, apologizing.

“I knocked but you didn’t answer. I wanted to drop off some boxes for the gala. You asked me to bring them by earlier.”

“Shit.” I drop the knife in the sink and grasp my chest to still my heart. “I thought you were David.”

“You need a knife for David?” Hannah’s brow knits together. “I knew it was bad, but holy shit, Kate. Do I need to arrange security for your apartment?”

“I should have thought of that weeks ago.” How did I not think of that? Oh, right, I was too busy being consumed by Eric Stevens. The man I fell in love with and bared my soul to, only to be dropped and ignored. “Maybe. Probably. What were you saying about my wine bottle when you nearly scared me to death?”

“It’s a twist top.” Hannah takes it from me and opens it. “I guess you’ve had a bad day.”

I snort so hard it spirals into a coughing fit. Bad day just scratches the surface. I thought I had bad days in the past. Today proved I had no idea what one really was until now.

“I guess you saw the interview?”

I nod and chug the glass Hannah hands me. I hold it back out for her to refill and go collapse on the couch.

“He told them I was a cheat and a whore. He told them he was framed. He told them I slept with him recently as a ploy to get his money. His money! Can you believe that shit? It’s my money.” I throw a pillow across the room. “And let’s not forget the jerk who now isn’t returning my calls.”

“You called David?”

Oops. I sit there for a minute, trying to get my brain back on track with what’s going on. Perhaps this other glass of wine was a terrible idea. I can’t let anyone know about Eric because then everyone will believe the other bullshit David spewed.

I can’t believe Eric let him do that. First, he ignores every call and text I’ve sent him for three days. Then, he sends David on a freaking trash network show to talk about how terrible I am? Did Wonderland ever turn dark and terrifying? Because that’s where I am right now.

“Kate?” Hannah appears in front of me and hands me a new glass. It’s cold and not a wine glass. “I think you need to drink this.”

“Unless it’s alcohol, I’m not interested.”

“Do you want me to call Lily over here?” She presses the glass to my hand and sticks a straw in my mouth. I pull a sip from it despite wanting to resist it. “Or, I don’t know, someone else?”

“I’m fine.” I say around the straw. “Really.”

“I can stay, if you’d like some company. I know we never see each other outside of work, but I won’t mind.”

“No, no. I’m okay. Just a long day. He sucks.”

“I’m so sorry about David.”

“Fuck David.”

Fuck both of them, really. I don’t know what karmic deity I pissed off, but I guess it was all of them? Why else would my life spiral so wildly out of control? Every time I think I’ve found happiness, it zips away. There’s no winning for Kate. None allowed at all.

“I’ll have Lily call and check on you in a bit, okay? You can decide then if she needs to come over. I don’t think you should be alone tonight.”

“I’m always alone.” I mutter. “It’s nothing new.”

Hannah floats near the door, clearly conflicted. It angers me because she has no business being conflicted. Her life is neatly paved out with no exit ramps in sight. She’s so young and perky and has a loving boyfriend who sends her flowers just because it’s Tuesday. She needs to cut out the conflicted shit.

“Go.” I shoo her out. “Thanks for the concern, but I need to be alone right now.”

“If you’re sure.” Hannah frowns. “I put the boxes on your desk.”

“I’ll look at them tomorrow.”

“Okay. I’ll go.” She hesitates at the door again. “Have a good night, Kate.”

I wave over my shoulder and stare at the TV. I hear the door click behind me and I jump up to pull across the chain so no one else with a key can come in. I didn’t even remember giving Hannah a key, but everything is sort of fuzzy right now anyway.

I turn on the TV and it cues up a freeze frame of the video I made of my night with Eric. My fist closes around the remote until it aches. What did I do to this man that made him ignore me after we shared such an intense afternoon together?

I was so close to telling him I loved him. I know he thought about telling me the same. Now, nothing. He didn’t get to be scared. He didn’t get to hide. I couldn’t hide, why should he? Did he get bored of me? Did he decide sex with the same person got boring and he wanted to go back to fishing in the local pools again?

Stupid men. They were all the same. I should have become a nun the last time I thought about it. I’m not religious but maybe I can tell them I’m curious. Or maybe I can lie. Enough time in this stupid town has made me pretty good at it.

Across the apartment, my phone rings. I trip over the couch trying to get it and probably break my toe. I struggle back to my feet and limp to the kitchen counter, but it switches to voicemail before I can grab it.

It was Eric.

I immediately hit the redial button, but get sent straight to voicemail. After three tries, I give up. He’ll see I called and call back, surely. I pace in the kitchen, waiting for his call again.

The corkscrew sits on top of the coffee maker. How did it get there?

The ringtone for a voicemail chimes and I fly to the app to listen. I want to just hear his voice again, more than anything. I want to hear him say he’s been busy and he’s sorry he hasn’t been in touch. I want to hear him say he needs me again.

“It’s me. This is the last time I’ll call. It’s over, Kate. I’m your husband’s lawyer and I’m not going to get disbarred over this. Don’t bother calling me anymore.”

The message ends and I stare at my phone. There is no way I heard what I think I did. It was the wine talking. I replay it three times. By then, tears stream down my face and I can’t breathe. A guttural scream erupts out of me and I throw my wine glass against the wall.

It shatters into a hundred pieces. Just like me.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

ERIC

“Another, Becky.” I drop the shot glass on the bar and nudge it forward. “Better make it two.”

“And a water.” Paxton says.

“Fuck off.”

“Big water.”

“I hate you. Why are we friends?”

“We bonded over a joint hatred of Geoff.”

“You both can go straight to hell.” Geoff says it like he’s waving off flies. Getting laid cleaned him up good. “And be nice to Becky tonight.”

“I am being nice. I’m padding her tip as we speak.” I say. “Tell your girlfriend to make them extra strong.”

“That’s a surefire bet to get diluted shots, big guy.” Becky slides two more shots of whiskey in front of me. “You should probably have some water.”

“I liked you better when you wanted my dick.”

“Oh, darling.” Becky laughs. “I never wanted your dick. I just wanted your money.”

Paxton and Geoff both erupt in hoots and hollers when Becky walks away. I clutch my hand to my chest and play it up big to distract from just how big a blow that is. She can only be saying that right now because she’s banging Geoff. Surely.

“That’s my girl.” Geoff beams.

“Fuck women.” I steer the conversation so we don’t have to talk about the burn Becky just dished out. “They are all terrible creatures. Men are terrible creatures. We are all terrible creatures who deserve to be burned on the sun.”

“Shit, man.” Paxton frowns at me. “Who pissed in your Cheerios?”

“Life.”

“For fucks sake. Don’t be a drama queen. You’re better than that shit.”

“Nah, he just got played.” Geoff says a little too smugly. “A woman used the stupid game he plays against him and he can’t deal.”

“Nobody played me.”

“You know, Geoff. I don’t say this often, but I think you’re right.” Paxton says. “That sounds exactly right.”

“Whatever.” I shoot the whiskey and chase it with a beer. “Let’s talk about Geoff’s sex life.”

“Oh, hell no.” Geoff laughs. “You aren’t going to throw me under the bus. Just admit that you treat women like shit and now that it’s finally turned on you, it sucks. Admit that you learned you need to treat people with more respect.”

I glower at him over my bottle.

“Man, you got railroaded by the McArthurs, didn’t you? All you could see was dollar signs and they burned the shit out of you. I mean, I wouldn’t say I told you so, but I fucking love saying I told you so.”

“No.” I say firmly. “I don’t get played. I used her like I used all the other women in this fucking town and then dropped her just as fast. I feel like shit because my jackass client is giving me an ulcer.”

“Ah, yes. So you’re drinking the ulcer away. Great plan.” Paxton snorts. “I would respect you a hell of a lot more if you’d just admit you got in over your head.”

“Never happened.”

“You really are a shitty attorney.” Geoff says. “Terrible liar. How do you make so much more money than I do?”

“Because you’re a horrendously shitty lawyer.”

“Says the guy who’s about to lose his ass over the biggest case of his career.”

“Fuck off.” I snap. I need to get out of here, but I’ve run out of places to go to. Maybe I should just go home and sleep until the hearing. “I need new friends.”

“No, you need to get your priorities in order. The same thing I’ve been telling you for almost two months.” Paxton throws a punch at my shoulder. “I told you she was trouble.”

“You told me you wanted to fuck her.”

“There are a lot of people I want to fuck. You don’t see me cut up about not doing it.”

On the TV above the bar, the interview I set up for David is re-airing. The closed captioning can barely keep up with him as he outlines Kate’s infidelity and his broken heart. It’s mostly bullshit, but I can’t shake how insistent he is about sleeping with Kate during this process.

I’ve heard him tell a lot of fake stories, but he showed me the pictures to prove it. That’s what I get for letting my emotions out of their cage: betrayed and fucked over. Never again.

“That interview is probably the best damn thing you’ve done in a while.” Paxton points to the TV. “Evens out the playing field a bit. Have you offloaded those pictures yet?”

“What pictures?” Geoff asks.

“From the photo shoot Casanova over here staged with McArthur’s ex.”

“You were serious?” Geoff says, judgment pouring out of him. “I thought you were just being an asshole.”

“He is an asshole, but he was always serious.”

“Christ, Eric. You could lose your license over that shit.”

“Worse things can happen.” I deadpan.

“For an attorney? Not really.”

“Who did you send them to?” Paxton says again.

“I haven’t decided yet.” I don’t bother looking at either of them. Instead, I watch David continue to spew his bullshit story for the world to eat up.

Despite everything, despite the betrayal, I can’t shake the feeling that I did something awful with this. Yes, she betrayed me, but does it count if it’s with the guy she’s legally attached to? Do two wrongs make a right?

Fucking Vivian and her morals. I need to purge her from my head, too.

“You need to dump those soon. Bolster your case so it can be over as fast as it starts. No three-day plea for you.”

“He should not.” Geoff shakes his head. “That’s falsifying evidence. That’s a felony.”

“Does it count, though, if it’s in family court?”

“You guys really are the worst goddamn attorneys I’ve ever met. Do you know what morals are?”

“No.” Paxton grins. “Because I’m an attorney.”

Geoff rolls his eyes and mutters something about fulfilling stereotypes. I ignore him and flag Becky down for another shot. I watch her carefully to make sure she doesn’t top it off with water. I paid my way through UCLA by bartending. I know all their tricks.

“You need to shred those pictures.” Geoff taps my shoulder. “Don’t screw yourself over in the process. Let them destroy each other and walk away with clean hands.”

“Nobody in this fucking town has clean hands.” I mutter.

“Oh, give that shit a rest.” Geoff rolls his eyes. “I’m so tired of listening to this ‘woe is me’ routine where you pretend you’re so persecuted against because you live in one of the largest and most thriving towns in the country. Corruption is everywhere, Eric. You aren’t special because you live here.”

“Can it, Geoff.”

“No. You have to stop acting like you have the worst goddamn job in the world. Everyone has to deal with shit at work. Have you ever had to represent a murderer? No? You just get to sit in your cush office and cast judgment on how other people live their lives? Boo-fucking-hoo. It’s so hard to be Eric Stevens.”

I shove my chair back from the table and throw on my jacket. “I don’t need your shit. Not from either of you. You don’t know what it’s like.”

“We hear you bitching enough to know.”

“Whatever. I don’t have to explain myself.” I throw down two twenties on the bar and storm off without another word.

CHAPTER THIRTY

KATE

The toilet is my new best friend. Fifteen minutes after my last round of hurling, my cheek is still glued to the cool porcelain seat. I’ve never in my life been more grateful for a housekeeper than today.

Clean toilets are the best toilets.

I don’t even know what day it is. What time of day it is. Wonderland has officially chewed me up and spit me out. For what I can only assume has been the last four days, I’ve completely lost a sense of reality.

I’m caught up in the current of karmic bullshit and spiraling into oblivion. Also, maybe I’ve watched too many soap operas lately and the drama is now infused in my soul. That happens when you’ve done nothing but eat club crackers and puke everything else up.

“Kate?” Lily calls from the front of my apartment. “Where are you?”

I left the top latch undone so she could find me. So I could stay on my porcelain pillow and not move. Moving is terrible. I’m not even certain what is making me so sick at this point. It could honestly be a dozen different things. Or all of them at once.

“Oh, honey.” Lily says, trying to keep the pity out of her voice and failing. She sits next to me and feels my forehead. “You look miserable.”

“You don’t know the half of it.” I groan. “It’s so much worse than it looks.”

“Maybe it’s not? Okay, shit right now is really bad, but it could always be worse, right? Give me a minute, I’ll think of something.”

“Don’t bother. I’ve spent all day brainstorming. It’s still shit.”

“I brought wine. It might settle your stomach?” Lily sets the bottle next to me on the floor. My favorite Pinot Grigio. “I can get one of those super long crazy straws so you can drink it from right here.”

I shake my head slowly, in case I upset anything left in my stomach. “Can’t.”

“I can stash it in the fridge until you’re back on your feet. There’s nothing wine can’t cure.”

“Oh.” I draw the word out with a shaky breath. “I’ve found something.”

“Did you already have too much?”

I unfurl my fist braced against the floor and hold the pregnancy tests out for Lily to see. Her face cycles rapidly from confusion to horror. She takes them from me and studies each one for an eternity. Turns them upside, flips them over, looks again. Repeats the process for each.

“Oh, shit.”

“Ta-da.” I groan again.

“What can I get you?” Lily dumps them in the sink and grabs a washcloth from the sink. “Club soda? Crackers?”

“Nothing works. I don’t know.”

She places the cold cloth against my forehead and I want to cry from relief. Not only is it cool, but to have someone take care of me in the throes of the worst few days of my life is enough to make me cry. I’m not alone. It feels like it a lot, but at this very second there is someone here to take off some of the load.

I cry because I don’t know what else to do. I didn’t think I had any more tears, but there they are, spilling down my cheeks. Lily dabs them gently with a crumpled piece of toilet paper and kisses my forehead.

“Let’s get you out of the bathroom. Are you up for walking?”

“Maybe?”

Lily helps me up and slowly, patiently, walks me to the living room and sets me up on the couch. She runs to the kitchen and returns with iced club soda and a massive empty pot for puking. Guess I won’t be making spaghetti again for a while.

“Talk to me. How long have you known? Just today?” She tucks me into the couch with a soft blanket and places the damp cloth back on my head.

“I think I’ve known for a while. I haven’t been feeling well and always chalked it up to stress.” I spit out a hollow laugh. “Nope. There’s just a human growing inside my body. One I’m supposed to take care of.”

I cry again. It bubbles out of me in sharp bursts because the dam has been shattered and nothing is left to protect me from the thoughts spiraling in my brain.

Life is so cruel.

“Do you…” Lily’s face contorts. “Do you know whose it is?”

I nod slowly. I haven’t been able to speak the words since I found out. Saying it is too terrible. Saying it out loud makes it real.

This can’t be real.

“Dammit.” Lily breathes. “It’s David’s, isn’t it?”

Sobs erupt from me as I nod, once. Lily hugs me tight and kisses my forehead, and I cry into her shoulder. My head throbs and my throat screams and my heart feels like it’s going to shatter.

“Are you certain?”

“Date of last missed period.” I take a shaky breath to calm down. “I haven’t had one in two months. I thought it was stress at first, right? Totally normal. But…”

“The night before mediation.” Lily murmurs and shakes her head. “The drunken goodbye fuck made a baby.”

“And I’ve been a raging alcoholic. I’m killing this baby before it even has a chance, Lily.”

“Stop that.” Lily says kindly and wipes my cheeks. “Plenty of women get knocked up by accident while they are out partying. Shit, my mom was on a vodka diet when she conceived me in the back of my dad’s Volvo in the eighties, okay? You are going to be okay.”

“I don’t think so.” My lip quivers and my head feels like it’s caving in. “I really don’t. And every time I think about going to a… clinic… I start to have a panic attack. I can’t do that, Lily. I can’t. I can’t.”

“Hey, hey. It’s okay.” Lily soothes. I don’t believe her, but her voice is low and calm, so I try to focus on that.

“But—”

“Baby girl, this will be glorious, okay? I will be with you the whole time. I will hold your hair when you puke and I will rub your feet and I will hold your hand for every doctor’s appointment. Fuck all the men in the world. Aunt Lily will be here for every second.”

“Promise?”

“On my life.” Lily hooks her pinkie around mine. “You’d be here to do the same for me. Maybe we can move in together and I’ll be there to help with whatever you need.”

“I can’t ask you to do that. I can’t ask you to change your whole life for me.”

“Kate Lilliana Monroe McArthur. You listen to me right now. You are my best friend in the whole world. I would have died from alcohol poisoning twice if it wasn’t for you in college. I’d be trapped in a dead-end job forever if it wasn’t for you. I’d be friendless on my own if it wasn’t for you.”

“Whatever. You’d do the same for me.” I try to wipe away the tears that keep falling.

“Exactly. So here I am. And we’ll get through this together. We don’t need David.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

ERIC

“Mr. Evans is here to see you.” Sophie steps into my office. “Do you want me to tell him it’ll be a few minutes?”

“Two minutes and send him in. I’ll deal with the rest of this later.” I don’t look up from my laptop, still transcribing notes from the last meeting I had with David. His evidence of Kate’s infidelity was nothing more than feelings, but it was still something I could leverage against her.

Funny how the priorities change when you find someone’s been screwing you over. I can almost empathize with some of my clients. Almost. The difference is I don’t cry over anyone. I either get even or pretend they don’t exist.

In the meantime, I’m going to hammer her to a wall. In the least sexual way possible. And then walk away from this shitshow as light as a feather.

“Eric? Ronnie Evans. Pleasure to meet you.” A jolly bearded guy in a cheap sports coat walks into my office with a briefcase under one arm and the other extended for a handshake. “I was very excited to get your call.”

“Ronnie! The pleasure is mine.” I take his hand. “Please, have a seat. Forgive me if this goes a little wonky. I usually have Sophie handle this, but given the context, I thought it best to meet in person.”

“Absolutely.” Ronnie nods. “This is sensitive material and it’s important to know who you are dealing with. I don’t work with anyone I can’t meet face-to-face. My job is information, not falsehoods or assumptions.”

“Understood. This is a large reason why I wanted to meet with you. While I need this small leak to turn into a flood, I want to be sure I trust who is going to handle it.”

Ronnie nods and launches into several anecdotes to emphasize the effectiveness of his approach. I nod politely like I’m listening, but I’m not. Truth is, I don’t give a shit about anyone else’s story. He’s been research thoroughly and I know he’s the guy to handle this.

Yes, I could have just slipped several copies of these photos of Kate and me under the doors of a dozen tabloid offices, but I want to make sure this is handled properly. It needs to be definitive, not something that can be argued haphazardly in court to draw it out.

Every day I’m attached to David is one more day I’d rather shoot a nail in my eye. As for Kate, I’ll be happy to have this entire thing finished so I can go fuck a whole line of chorus girls. Whatever needs to be done to get the imprint of her body against mine eradicated.

If there’s one thing I’m exceptional at, it’s finding a new girl. I need to cut her out of my brain and heart as soon as possible. That means lots and lots of girls. Maybe an orgy. Maybe I’ll find one of those secret underground sex clubs. Maybe I’ll walk down Rodeo Drive stark naked.

The world is my oyster.

“What’s the weirdest case you’ve handled?” Ronnie asks. His tone changes and pulls me from my daydreams of Kate. I never know how to respond to those dreams anymore aside from drinking heavily, so I’m glad for the pull. “I’ve always found your job so interesting.”

“A few years ago, my client accused his wife of catfishing. It sounded insane at first, because they were married for a decade, you know? Turns out she lied about being an immigrant bride. The whole thing was an act. She didn’t come from the Ukraine, she came from Minnesota of all fucking places.”

“From Minnesota to the Ukraine, eh?”

“She nailed that fucking accent, Ronnie. That was definitely one of the weirder cases I’ve handled. Not going to lie, though, it was fun as hell. Discovering her secret identity was the most fun I’d had researching in ages.”

“I bet the reveal was even better.” Ronnie grins.

“I wish the damn thing was televised. It was the most beautiful fall from grace I’d ever seen. Top-five moment, hands down.” I say. “The husband was so grateful I got to the bottom of everything, he gave me a massive bonus.”

“Wait, wait.” Ronnie shakes his head. “Was the bonus like a hundred grand and a trip to Paris on his private jet?”

“That’s the one!” I nod. “God, that was a great trip, too. Took my boys with me and we tore up the town. Of course, I blew most of the money on that trip. Gambling, top-shelf booze, Amsterdam. We lived it up. The rest went to student loans. Should have dumped the whole thing in, I suppose, but fuck, it was a great trip.”

“I remember reading about that. Had no idea it was you. Well done, Eric. I’m impressed.”

“Thank you.” I extend my fingers out a bit in a show of humility, even though I bask in the complement. “What about you? Surely you’ve seen a ton of crazy doing what you do.”

“Name it, I’ve seen it.” Ronnie nods. “Actually, the weirdest shit is usually from people trying to make something out of nothing. When they try to stack situations against their ex, you know?”

“People do that?” I ask. Guilty as charged, but he doesn’t need to know that.

“Given your industry, are you really surprised?” Ronnie cocks an eyebrow. “There was a high-profile divorce going on a few years back that we got pulled into. The husband tried to frame the wife for having an affair. Except the dumbass had pictures taken of himself. He paid me, so I circulated them, but it became very clear very fast he was the guy in the pictures.”

“Allen Rodgers. I remember that.”

“Yeah. Our staff PI actually catches a lot of spouses sneaking around with each other. They try to get in one last fuck before the papers are signed. Far as I understand it, the other spouse lets them in to try to settle, but it never works out that way. I don’t know how you deal with this industry, man.”

“I don’t either.” I offer a thin smile, but the wheels in my brain started wheeling. Tension was always tight between Kate and David, and I confirmed with her doorman he’d been over to her place with a bouquet of roses. It was the nail in the coffin for me. Could I fault Kate for sleeping with her ex to make the process less chaotic?

I shake it out of my head while Ronnie outlines his contract. I can’t slide back to Kate. I’m so close to being done with them forever. But if she was put in a position where she felt like she had to sleep with him…

“As you can see, it’s pretty air tight. We are successful at what we do for this reason. We don’t reveal sources and sources don’t reveal us.”

“Yet people still find you.”

“Only when we want to be found.” Ronnie offers a toothy grin. “I’m not going to lie, I’ve wanted some McArthur dirt.”

I look at the contract, but all I can see is Kate’s distressed face. David taking advantage of her so she won’t lose her livelihood. There’s always more to the story… isn’t there?

“I’ll look this over and get back to you.” I extend my hand. “Thank you for your time.”

“Look forward to hearing from you soon. Time is running out.”

It is. Which means I’ve got to figure this shit out fast.

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

KATE

It’s shocking how quickly life can change. People walk across the street and end up dead every day. Someone comes home from work and finds their spouse cleaned out the apartment. Someone goes to sleep and wakes up a million miles away from home.

I take a pregnancy test and Lily moves into my apartment, short-term until we decide something better. What was once an amazing bachelorette pad with booze and frozen quiches turns into a den covered in baby magazines and formula samples.

“You should pull a Paltrow and name the baby after the food you eat the most during the pregnancy.” Lily says from behind a celebrity mama magazine. “Like Blueberry or Kumquat or something.”

“Kumquat?” I stare at her over my copy of Parenting. “I’m not a monster, Lily.”

“If someone names their kid Apple, you can go with Kumquat.”

“Yeah, but Apple doesn’t sound like post-sex jizz.”

“What the hell is post-sex jizz?”

“You know, after you have sex and it just keeps gushing?”

“I think that means there’s a problem.” Lily laughs. “Who the hell does that?”

“David.” I shrug. “He should probably see a doctor then, I don’t know. I don’t have a dick so I thought it was normal.”

“Nothing about him is normal.”

“Preach.” Lily pauses. “Actually. I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

I tense, trying to force up walls before she says anything. None of these conversations that start with “I’ve been meaning to ask” end with something pleasant. Like “do you like chocolate-covered almonds, because I have some” or “do you want this free-massage coupon at Rainfall?” No, it’s always terrible.

“It’s been a few days. Have you considered talking to David?”

“No.” I hide behind the magazine so she doesn’t see the look of hurt-filled terror on my face.

As if I’d do anything with that asshole ever again. He complicated my life in one-hundred different ways before this even happened. I was finally starting to feel relaxed. I got to taste freedom. And then he roped me back in with a freaking fetus.

“Give it a few days and see if you have a change of heart. This is a big deal.”

“No David ever again.” I swallow down a sharp lump in my throat. “I guess I haven’t told you about the most recent messages, then.”

“No.” Lily smacks her magazine on the couch. “What did he do now?”

“Oh, usual David shit.” I try to sound airy about it, like it doesn’t bother me. The complete opposite is true, but there’s that saying about faking it until you make it, right? “He’s threatening me with more bad press if I don’t agree to settle outside of court.”

“With what? Stories about how you wouldn’t suck his microscopic dick?” Lily snorts. “What an ass.”

“I guess? He doesn’t stop though, Lily. I swear, every time I set down my phone, he sends me another message. Tells me I belong to him. Tells me he’ll ruin me. Tells me he’ll follow me if he has to.”

“Kate.” Lily turns serious. “Report his ass. Call the cops.”

“He’s just trying to bully me.” I shrug even though my stomach clenches. “It’s not a big deal.”

“It’s very much a big fucking deal. Call the cops. At the very least call Vivian so she can document this shit.”

“You’re probably right. I’ll send her screenshots.”

We fall into silence. The worst part of all this is I feel I have no excuse. Sure, I should have reported him… but I didn’t. I should have kept him outside my apartment every time he came over… but I didn’t.

I should have remained celibate and never fallen for his lawyer… but I didn’t.

Tears prick at my eyes and I brush them away before they can form. I’m done with crying. I’m done with worrying over a stupid man. God help me if this baby is a boy.

“Have you talked to Eric since you found out?”

“No. He was very clear about never hearing from me again.” I turn the page so hard I get a paper cut. As much as it hurts, it’s almost a relief to feel pain somewhere else besides in my head and my heart.

And my digestive tract.

“That’s probably for the best. We don’t need him thinking he’s got something over you too.”

“No man will have something over me ever again.”

“They aren’t all bad.” Lily says, but backtracks. “Never mind.”

“No, it’s okay.” I force a smile. “I know you’re really happy with the new guy. Don’t feel like you have to hide it from me.”

“I just feel so bad.” Lily smile meekly. “You’re in such a bad place.”

“Let me live vicariously through your joy. Remind me there is goodness out there. Remind me the Y-chromosome isn’t exclusively terrible.”

“I can do that.”

Silence again. It’s thick and sits uneasy against my skin. Pretending to be happy for Lily took more energy than I expected. And despite reading numerous blogs about having kids despite terrible life situations, or having kids when they didn’t want them, no one managed to make me feel better about this whole thing.

Maybe I am still in shock, but there is no way to feel better. Everything is lose-lose, but the only person who suffers is me. David gets out of this scotch-free. He won’t even have to know while I’m making plans to change my entire life.

“What about adoption?” Lily asks, moving next to me. “Then you don’t have to go through the life-altering changes of raising a baby.”

“I’ve thought about it.” I say noncommittally. “Honestly, Lily, I don’t know that I go through that heartache. I wish I could just… undo it.”

“I know.” She rests her head on my shoulder. “It’s not fair. After everything that has happened over the last year, this is the last thing that needed to happen. But we’ll get through it together. We will.”

“Thank you.” I rest my head against hers. “I don’t think I’d make it through this without you. Truly.”

“Chicks before dicks, Kate. Always.”

“Maybe I should just leave the country after the divorce is done.” I say slowly. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while, underneath all the freak-outs and stress. “I don’t want to be anywhere near David. No matter what I choose to do, I don’t want him involved at all, you know? Maybe I’ll go to France or Spain or something and have the baby there. No cameras, no David. The tiniest shred of privacy.”

“Hey, that’s an idea.” Lily encourages. “You can relax by the water and take it easy. Pregnancy is already difficult. Adding extra stress from being here isn’t good for either of you.”

“Exactly. Maybe my mom will come with me.”

“Have you told her yet?”

“You’re the only one who knows.” I shake my head. “Can’t bring myself to say the words.”

“No one needs to know even if you were about to pop. We’ll find clever ways to hide you, like they do on sitcoms. Fluffy scarves, big bags, things like that.”

“This is why you’re my best friend. You have great ideas. We’ll just get out of here and disappear into the fray. Let’s go now.”

“Soon.” Lily promises. “Soon.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

ERIC

A note sits on top of the files on my desk. Sophie’s stack, not Sophie’s writing.

Ask Paxton about his girlfriend.

I tap a pen against the desk, debating. There’s clearly something going on here. I didn’t know Paxton had a girlfriend and I have no idea why someone would want me to ask about it unless it was something important.

A small piece of me wants it to be about Kate. In what capacity, I don’t know. If Kate is his new girlfriend, I’d kill him. I know that as certain as I know my own name. If he touches her — gone.

I don’t think he’d do that to me, though. There are established bro codes, rules we all live by. No matter the shit he gave me about sleeping with her, he would never go behind my back to do anything with her.

I ball up the note and throw it in the trash. If Paxton wants to tell me about his new girlfriend, he can come tell me about his new fucking girlfriend. I have work to do.

Inside the first file is another note: No seriously. Go ask him.

Goddammit.

There’s a similar note in the front of each of the files. It’s not Paxton’s handwriting, either. No way would that asshole write these. We’re an office of fifty attorneys, covering every type of law. It could have been anyone.

“All right.” I find myself in Paxton’s office, curiosity driving me more than anything. “Tell me about your new girlfriend.”

“What are you talking about?” He doesn’t look up from his sea of paperwork. Criminal law has always turned me off for this very reason. Too much work.

“I’m supposed to ask you about your new girlfriend. I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.”

“You never asked.”

“Am I supposed to?”

“We talked a lot about the ass you were pounding over the last few weeks.”

“Touché.” I drop into a chair in front of him. “Who’s the unlucky lady?”

Paxton keeps typing away and doesn’t look at me. I’m not sure what the fuck is going on, but I don’t like it. Ever since we saw David’s interview in the bar, he’s acted weird. His obsession with my case was abnormal to begin with, but now it’s downright unsettling.

“Who is she?”

“Her name is Lily.”

Alarms shoot off in my brain. Kate’s best friend, whom she talked about a lot, is a Lily. Her partner in all her charity work. How common could that name be?

“What does she do?”

“Me.”

“Funny.”

He closes his laptop and crosses his hands over top of it. This whole exchange is uncomfortable as fuck. I cross my arms to join in his powerplay bullshit.

“What do you want, Eric?”

“I want to know why someone told me I should talk to you about your new girlfriend.”

“I don’t have that answer.”

“She’s Kate’s friend, isn’t she?” He doesn’t say anything, which is answer enough for me. “The fuck, man? Why didn’t you say shit?”

“Because it doesn’t matter. You aren’t working with Lily’s ex.”

“No, just her best friend. Which means Lily knows everything. Which means you probably know everything.”

“You may have come up.”

“Is that why you were pushing me so hard to go after her? I thought Lily was her best friend. What the hell, Pax? Is Lily trying to ruin her, too? What the fuck kind of games are you playing?”

“No games, man. This is your fucking job. Your job is to represent that slime bag. You can also get seriously fucked by screwing around with his wife — his wife, bro, because they are still legally married — and you’re already on thin ice with the state for doing this shit before.”

“You help me stage photos of innocent women. Now you get to play moral high ground?”

“I told you to stop fucking around with her.”

“You told me to smear our fake ass pictures all over the city. You don’t get to pretend you’re better than me.”

“I just wanted you to do your job.” Paxton is frustrated and I don’t understand why. “I knew you wouldn’t actually send them out. I know you gave a shit about this girl. But you were going to fuck over the entire firm if you fucked over David in this case.”

“That’s what this is about?” I stare at him, struggling to rectify the man I know versus the man talking. “You think I’m going to fuck over the firm, so you push me to do some dumb shit with the woman I was crazy about?”

“I knew you had a thing for her.”

“This is not the time to gloat, asshole. What do you know?” I narrow my eyes at him. “What have you been hiding from me? We are supposed to be boys, brothers.”

“David would sue the fuck out of us if he found out you were fucking his wife. And he would have a decent case against us. It was self-preservation.”

“You’re a real piece of shit, know that?”

“I think you should go.” Paxton opens his laptop and shuffles around some papers. “I’ve got trial in the morning.”

“I don’t give a shit.” I slam the lid of his laptop closed. “Paxton. Please. How is she?”

Paxton exhales slowly and checks his watch. He’s at war with himself for reasons I still can’t fucking comprehend. All I can think is she’s dying and panic starts to set in.

“David’s been harassing the fuck out of her. Threats, showing up at her place drunk, texting her at odd hours. A few weeks ago, he went over to her place and asked to talk over a drink. She went to get dressed to go out and came back to find him naked. She lost her shit over it, said she’d call the cops.”

David’s story. I knew it was bullshit. I knew it. I was so tied up with shit I didn’t give her enough credit. Christ.

“David showed me pictures of them fucking from that night.”

“That’s disturbing as hell. But different night. She slept with him once before mediation started, some sort of drunken-moment-of-weakness fuck, and he went nuts. I guess he was pissed she wouldn’t fuck him anymore. And then you put him on TV to tell some dumbass story about her wanting his nuts to get money.”

“You fucking told me—”

“I didn’t think you’d do shit. You were so up her ass, I thought you were a better goddamn person than that. I figured you’d just toss around some bullshit, a few harmless pictures she could easily deflect. I took plenty of shots that looked friendly if you ever fucking looked at them. Enough to protect the firm and her. But you were too goddamn busy thinking with your dick that you made a mess of all of it.”

I’m so shocked I don’t think I could come up with a comeback if I he paid me.

“Whatever. She’ll move on, you’ll find another bar whore to bang, and all this mess will end. Kate’s too good for your ass, anyway.”

“Did she really like me?”

“I am not getting involved in your stupid shit. Absolutely not.” Paxton reopen his laptop. “Bro, we can talk this shit out later, but I’ve really got court in the morning.”

“I’m not a monster, you know.” I find myself saying as I stand. “You could have fucking talked to me.”

“Aren’t you, though?” Paxton asks, staring me down. “Look at what you’ve done so far.”

Try as I might, I can’t come up with something to prove him wrong. So I leave.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

KATE

Doctors’ offices are a special place of hell on any normal day, but my first OB appointment feels bigger and more awful. The office is bright and cheery, with home-improvement TV playing in the background and big bright peonies on all the flat surfaces. Bright, cheery and terrible.

Women with huge, bulging bellies surround us on all sides and half a dozen strollers fill all the walking spaces.

I’m hiding in a big hat, a scarf and dark sunglasses. As incognito as I can get in the summer heat. I can feel everyone watching me as I pass through, trying to figure out which LA body I fit.

Thank God I’m not an actress. This would be so much worse. Everyone memorizes their frames so they can easily identify them in the streets.

“This way.” The girl at the front desk motions me to follow her after she sees my license. “Private waiting room is back here.”

Best news I’ve heard all day.

“We’ll show you the private entrance when you leave so you can use it for the rest of your visits.” She smiles brightly and has a swishy ponytail. Everything about her is so cheery and bright, like babies are the best thing in her world. “Congratulations!”

“Thank you.” I say awkwardly. Lily tried to say it to me once and I cried. No tears so far, so I call it a step in the right direction.

The private waiting room is thankfully empty. The chairs are nicer, the magazines are more expensive and there are no TVs. Even if it was all home-improvement shows, TV makes me shudder after David’s stupid interview played on loop.

Him and all his lies. Eric had to be behind it. The timing was too close for me to think anything else.

“This is kind of exciting.” Lily whispers, even though we are alone. “Private waiting room, babies, you know. All that stuff. I never knew how all this worked.”

“I wish I didn’t have to.”

Her face immediately clams up. “Shit. I’m sorry, Kate. This has to be really uncomfortable and I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, no. It’s okay.” I reassure her without really feeling like it. “I didn’t mean to make you think… it’s just weird, you know? I don’t feel like this is really happening. Until now, I could pretend that maybe I just had a stomach virus. None of it was real. After this… it’s real.”

Lily takes my hand and squeezes it. I’m so freaking grateful for her I could cry. But I’m tired of crying, so I gently smack my cheek instead.

“I need to stop.”

“Kate?” A scrubs-clad woman in another bouncy ponytail opens the door and smiles. “Ready to see baby?”

Tears press against my eyeballs and my heart flits like a caged bird, but I take a deep breath and nod. Lily slips her hand in mine and I don’t let go as we pass through the bright yellow halls covered in pamphlets about babies and vaginas.

It reminds me of my regular gynecologist, whom I absolutely could not be seen at without the paparazzi swarming. Maybe I can just pretend I am going in for a yearly check-up, not to see the thing swimming in my belly.

“Here we are!” She chirps and ushers us into a room with a giant machine and a screen. “I’m Rayanne, the ultrasound technician. We’re going to start with taking a look at baby, so Dr. Reynolds can review them before seeing you. Since you’re a little further along than normal for the first appointment, we won’t have to use the vaginal ultrasound. How wonderful!”

I stare blankly at her, all her words foreign. I give a small nod. She hands me a dressing gown to cover the lower half of my body and gives me a squeeze on the shoulder when I’m told to lie down on the table.

Apparently, everyone can smell my fear.

“Remember that time we were in college and Brad Heinz paid us fifty bucks to make out at his party?” Lily asks brightly while Rayanne gets the machine up and running. “I would have made out with you for five. Just thought you should know that.”

“Thanks.” I laugh a little. It sounds high-pitched and insane. “I would have done it for free.”

“God, such a one-upper.”

“You know me.”

“Breathe, Kate. You’ll be okay. Like when we made out the first time. It feels scary at first, but then it turns out to be just fine. This will be just fine.”

“I hope so.” I whisper.

Rayanne exposes my belly and talks a mile a minute about her nephews and some birthday party they just had. Like this was all totally normal and I wasn’t about to have my life turn on its head.

I don’t do anything but lay there while she manipulates my body.

“Okay. This might be a little cold.” She grins at me and points to the screen next to me. “You’ll see everything there. One, two…”

I jump as she coats my belly with something cold and then shoves the ultrasound wand against it. Instantly, the screen goes from all black to static, like it lost the signal. Rayanne moves the stick around, talking to herself

“I think I am going to need the vaginal wand,” Rayanne says, furrowing her brow.

Lily squeezes me extra harder for reassurance, but all I can think is maybe I’m not pregnant after all.

“Phew, there he is,” Rayanne says, sounding either concerned or shocked. I’m not sure which is better. “How far along did you say you were?”

“Based on my last period, should be about nine weeks?” I shrug a little. “This is all sort of new to me, I’m sorry. Did I get it wrong?”

“Well.” Rayanne frowns and starts plucking around the ultrasound machine’s keyboard. On the screen, it looks like she’s measuring it. Numbers populate around the lines. “Baby does not look nine weeks along. He’s measuring closer to five.”

“Five?” I whisper. My heart pounds in my ears and I suddenly feel so, so cold. “That can’t be right according to the parenting magazines. I haven’t had a period in over two months.”

“Skipped periods are pretty common if you are undergoing a lot of stress. Which, if the news is right, you have been.” Rayanne offers a sad smile. “Stress can shut it down for a month if it wants, and kick back up the following. Developmentally, your little peanut is not nine weeks.”

Lily stares at me and gapes. “That means…”

I cover my mouth with my hands. Five weeks? Five weeks would put me nowhere near David. Instead, that would put me with…

Tears well back up in my eyes and it’s hard to breathe. I watch Rayanne finish her measurements, while my brain tries to rationalize this.

We always used condoms. Always.

“Are you sure?” Lily finally asks Rayanne.

“Very. Later, it gets more difficult to pinpoint, but it’s very accurate in the beginning due to their growth stages.” Rayanne finishes and leaves the room to get the doctor.

Lily just stares at me.

“That means…”

“We used condoms.”

“Every time?”

I clean myself up with baby wipes and pull up my leggings. I bend over to put on my sandals and a memory comes blazing back. The night he showed up at my apartment and we had sex over the edge of the couch. I don’t remember seeing a condom.

My God.

Rayanne knocks and comes back in.

“Here’s your baby.” She hands me a small strip of black and white pictures, featuring the baby I did not make with David McArthur.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

ERIC

After spending a solid ten minutes knocking on the door, I decide Kate isn’t home yet. She doesn’t answer any of my phone calls or text messages, but she has to come home soon. She has to.

The past week has been a rollercoaster of shit. The case, David, Paxton, the interview. At the heart of it has always been a yearning for Kate. Despite everything, despite drowning myself every time I went to the bar or sweating until I was dizzy at the gym, she was my center.

She is my center. Every minute with her, I become a whole new person. Every minute with her, I become the person I am supposed to be.

This whole process has done nothing but show me she is who I need to be with. There is no day worth living without her there. The minute I stopped fighting my feelings, everything turned around.

I have to get her to talk to me. I fucked up, and bad, but I will fight with everything in me to get her back. She just needs to get here. I’m going to lose my damn mind waiting.

Her neighbor across the hall opens his door for a fourth time to stare at me. I try to smile politely and wave. He says nothing and shuts the door. Again.

Where is she?

I narrowly missed David fifteen minutes earlier. I managed to slip down a side hall as soon as I saw him coming from the elevator. He knocked on the door for five minutes, very abrasively, and yelled for her to open it. I should have dropped this guy months ago.

If I were the neighbor across the hall, I’d probably be watching me too.

A true testament to my character was not beating the shit out of David when I saw him. I’ll save that for after divorce, when I no longer represent him. I’ll have to invite him to my boxing ring. Can’t sue me if I beat the fuck out of him there while “teaching him how to box”.

That’ll be such a great day.

The elevator chimes and I jump down the side hallway. Out walks Kate and her friend, someone I recognize vaguely from a night out at the bar. She must be Lily.

Kate looks so beautiful my heart stops. Something is bothering her, but what wouldn’t at this point? Everything around me slows when I see her, like I’ve been pulled into the center of my universe. Because that’s exactly what she’s been, this entire time.

They talk briefly outside the door and I’m not sure what to do until Lily turns and goes back to the elevator.

“I’ll go get it. Be right back up.” Lily disappears into the elevator.

It’s now or never.

“Kate.” I say softly, walking up slowly, trying not to startle her. “Hey.”

As quiet as I am, she looks shell-shocked, her hand frozen in front of her lock. She only blinks at me.

“I really need to talk to you. Can I have a minute? Just one minute. It’s important.”

“Um.” She swallows deeply, closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath. “Okay.”

“I was an asshole.” I’m desperate to touch her, equally desperate to not make her run off. “David fed me some bullshit about sleeping with you, showed me pictures, and I just lost it. It was dumb. So fucking dumb. I don’t own you and we weren’t anything serious, but it just made me realize that I am goddamn crazy about you. I mean, I also hate that fat fuck and picturing him with you made me murderous. But it’s because… I’m crazy about you. I can’t sleep without you. Eating feels like a waste.”

“Eric—”

“Kate.” I take her free hand and hold it to my chest. “You don’t need another loose cannon. I know that. I also know that you are the woman for me. I want to share a bed with you. I want to make breakfast with you. I want to run laps around the neighborhood and go pick up yogurt or whatever you yogi types do for fun on the weekends. I don’t deserve you, Kate. I have spent my entire career watching people fuck over the person they were supposed to love. I didn’t want to ever endure that. You’re the first person who gave me hope that maybe it didn’t have to be that way.”

I search her face and see the intoxicating warmth in her eyes and in the corners of her mouth. She’s smiling at me, just a little. It splits my heart in two and I want to kiss her and pretend these last few weeks never happened.

“You have every right to tell me to fuck off. I hope you don’t. I hope you accept my apology and let me spend the next however long making it up to you. I hope you feel the same ache in your chest for me. Geoff tells me that means I’m in love. I never knew what that felt like until I met you, Kate.”

I take her other hand and press them both to my lips. A small gasp slips from her lips and her eyes are damp. I cup her cheek and stare into the eyes that have haunted me for weeks.

“I love you, Kate. I am a stupid man who wanted to run, but I don’t want to run anymore. I just want to love you.”

The elevator behind us dings and slides open. Neither one of us move, but I watch Lily step out, look at us and turn right back into the elevator. It slides closed, leaving us alone again.

“Eric. I want… God, this is so complicated.” Her voice cracks.

“I know it’s not ideal, but we can work around it. I don’t care that you slept with David before mediation. I don’t care that he’s my client. He doesn’t matter. You, Kate. You matter.”

She takes a deep breath and reaches into her bag. I have no idea where she’s going with this until she presses a glossy strip of paper into my hands.

“What is this?” It’s black and white, a bunch of blobs that I don’t understand until I see the words Due Date in the top corner. The fifth of February. My birthday. Everything goes startlingly silent. “What…”

“It’s our baby.” Kate whispers, her voice thick. My entire body feels like someone slammed on the brakes. “I thought it was David’s and it was kind of terrible. Today, they told me the dates were wrong. I’m, um, I’m five weeks along. This whole time, I haven’t slept with anyone but you.”

“I don’t understand.” It’s a stupid thing to say and I know it, but my brain feels heavy and jumbled.

“The night you came over. You told me I was a fever—”

“A fever in my veins.” I look at the pictures and then at Kate. My Kate. My sweet Kate carrying my baby. Our baby. “I needed you so bad I forgot the condom.”

“Surprise.” She whispers and tries to take back the pictures. “Look, I know this is a big deal, but if you don’t want to deal with it, it’s okay. I’ll figure it out.”

Tears pour down her cheeks but I have never felt so much love — that stupid thing I spent most of my life avoiding — before now. I place one hand on her stomach and another on her waist.

“I’m going to be a dad?” I feel something wet around my eyes and I can’t help but smile. “We’re going to be parents? Together?”

She nods and smiles through her tears. I pick her up and spin her around in circles, kissing her neck and cheeks until I finally find her lips. I kiss her with all the emotion I’ve suppressed for weeks.

I kiss her like I love her. I kiss her like we belong together.

I’m finally home.

EPILOGUE

KATE

SIX MONTHS LATER

“Girl, we really outdid ourselves.” Lily all but squeals next to me and claps her hands. “This gala is our best yet. Have you seen the numbers yet? We passed a half million within the first hour. It’s still coming. All these swanky assholes are just dumping their cash into our hands!”

“I saw! It’s our best event ever. You are the best partner I could have ever asked for.” My cheeks hurt from grinning and my back hurts from standing, but nothing can temper the pure elation I feel tonight. Months of planning and scheduling, postponing while my divorce finalized, handling everything last minute — all worth it.

Eric dropped David turned his Google investigation skills against David. He found a mountain of proof that David cheated on me years before he claimed I started the cheating. When presented with the evidence, David agreed to settle quickly for more than I’d even been pursuing him for to save the further expenses of lawyers.

I never did show David the video of Eric and me, but an image of us passionately kissing was plastered all over the internet. I only wish I’d been there to see his face.

Interestingly, and unlike David, neither of us has heard from him since, and he paid Eric’s bill without whining. I guess he finally realized how badly he lost.

“Lily, partner with boobs, anyway. We all know I’m otherwise the best partner.” Eric gives my ass a light squeeze and hands me a glass of water. “For the woman of the hour.”

“One of the women of the hour.” I shoot Lily a wink.

“Definitely the sexiest.”

“I’m huge.” I groan and give my behemoth belly a rub. “Every week she tells me there is only one in there, and every week I don’t believe her.”

“That’s because Stevens men are beasts.” Eric kisses me and rests his hands over top of mine. “He’s going to be a great pitcher. Switch pitcher, obviously. They get paid more to be on the mound. Very rare.”

“Is he now? What if he wants to be an actor?” All three of us collectively shudder. I laugh. “Never mind. Baseball player sounds great. Let’s keep our son out of Hollywood forever.”

“I better look as good as you when I get knocked up.” Lily clinks my glass with hers. “Paxton keeps telling me he wants to staff his own law firm with offspring, but my genes aren’t as pretty as yours. I’ll look like the old lady in the shoe. Hell, I don’t even look as good as you during sex.”

“How do you know what she looks like during sex?” Eric asks, waggling his brows. He’s trying to be funny, but Lily turns bright red. “Wait. Wait. Reverse this party train. You’ve seen what Kate looks like during sex?”

“Maybe.” Lily looks away, a smile on her face.

“Maybe?” Eric looks at me.

“Hmm?” I play dumb. Eric places kisses along my neck and slides his hands down my back, hot and heavy. He does this every time he wants something. “Okay! Okay. You can’t get mad. This was a long time ago.”

“I’m all ears.”

“I may have recorded the first time we slept together.”

“What?”

“And Lily may have seen it.”

“It was really goddamn hot. Well done, Eric. I mean, she was way hotter than you. But, yeah. Well done.”

“We have a sex tape and you never told me?” Eric gapes. “You little—”

“Mother of your child?” Lily interrupts. “Why yes, yes she is.”

“I was going to use it to fuck with David’s head.” I explain. “But it was just too good. I couldn’t show him.”

“You still have it?” Eric advances on me again. “I need to watch this.”

“She used to watch it while she masturbated.” Lily says loudly. “Oh, look, someone is calling me. Bye!”

“Lily!” I yell at her, but she’s already disappeared into the chaos of moving bodies. Eric walks around and presses himself against my back. His very erect cock presses into my back. “Eric, there are people everywhere.”

“Do you have any idea how sexy this is?” He breathes in my ear. Already, I can feel myself melting against him. “Knowing that you taped us? Watched us? Touched yourself while watching us? Knowing you made yourself come while watching me fuck you?”

“Eric, there are a million people here.” I beg, even though all I want is for him to take me over the nearest table. The way his hands slide across my body, and the rumble of his voice in my ear, is enough to drive me crazy even without the surging pregnancy hormones.

“We are going to reenact that video later. Only this time, it’ll be one hundred times better.”

“I don’t know.” I can’t help myself. “It was already really sexy. Can you beat a first time?”

“Baby girl.” He purrs in my ear. “I have learned your body. I know how to make you sing with two finger strokes. It will be the best you’ve ever seen.”

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

“Fuck waiting.” Eric’s hand lingers just under the hem of my dress and he presses his lips to the back of my ear. “There’s a private room upstairs. Let’s go now. You in this dress is going to make me crazy.”

“The party—”

“Can wait.” He turns my head so he can kiss me, and a fire blooms through my veins and between my legs. “Come with me.”

Come with me, he says. His naughty double meaning is all I need to push me out the door with him. He grasps my hand and we slide through the crowded halls, giggling like children. Every day with him has felt this light, this happy, this incredible. I have no doubt the orgasm he’s about to give me will be that much better, though, surrounded by the Hollywood elite.

Eric stops me in front of a door and puts a finger to his lips. “I need you to close your eyes.”

“Close my eyes?”

“Trust me.” He whispers against my lips. I try for a kiss but he pulls away and holds his finger back up.

“Fine.” I stick my tongue out at him and let him lead me into the room. Excitement bubbles through my veins. Turns out, I’m a bit of an exhibitionist. The mystery just heightens it.

We talk a few steps and then I lose his hand. I’m about to open my eyes, but he asked me to trust him, so I keep them shut and try to feel for him in the dark. All around me, something moves.

“Eric?” I say softly.

“Open your eyes.”

What I see takes my breath away. The room is covered in candles and stargazers. Hannah, Lily and Paxton are in the background with their phones out. Okay, maybe a bit of an exhibitionist, but this is a bit much.

I turn around, confused, looking for Eric. He waits behind me, on one knee, holding out a solitaire ring.

I can’t move. I can’t breathe.

“Kate.” Eric says softly and takes my hand. “Kate, my love. You make every day worth living. You are my sun, my moon and my stars. Marriage is something we shunned, but I’ve come to realize it’s only terrible with the wrong person. Marriage with the right person, the person who stirs your soul and completes your being, is perfect. Marriage is not just Kate and Eric, it is also our son. Our family. I do not want one more day to pass without you in it.”

A deep warmth spreads through me, a different fire from the one I felt downstairs. I don’t cry and my breath slowly returns, but I still feel like I’m floating over my body, watching all this unfold. Like it’s not real.

“Kate Monroe, the beautiful mother of my child, the fire in my soul, the sunrise and sunset of my day, the love of my life. Will you marry me?”

Never before have I seen him so impassioned, so in love with me. I can feel it pouring out of him like a waterfall. In his eyes, I can see our future together and nothing has ever felt so beautiful.

“Oh, Eric.” I say softly. “There is nothing on this earth I want more than to be your wife.”

His smile melts what little of me is left. He slides the ring on my finger and kisses me.

It’s the kiss of forever.

BONUS EPILOGUE

KATE

TWO MONTHS LATER

The last notes of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star play out of a teddy bear before looping through for the fiftieth time. Never before in my life did I think I’d be so happy to hear those tinny notes. I rest my head against the recliner and close my eyes for just a moment.

Rest is rare, but in sweet moments like this, where little Beau is wrapped up in his favorite blanket and the house is silent save for the soft music, I don’t mind. Instead, my heart feels like it will explode and grow at the same time, an emotion I still struggle to comprehend.

Becoming a mother is nothing like I expected and everything I ever wanted. Sweet kisses and adorable baby laughs, bright blue eyes and tufts of dark hair, his father’s dimples and my nose. I could sit all day and just smell the top of his darling little head.

Watching Eric with our son is the most amazing part of all. The man who once terrified me became the biggest softie on the planet the day our son was born. As soon as they put him on my chest, I knew I’d fallen so deeply in love that I could never escape and I’d never want to.

Eric was more anxious, terrified he wouldn’t know what to do with a baby. When the nurse carried Beau over, he was pale as a ghost and afraid to move for fear of dropping him. Two minutes later, everything about him melted into little Eric-sized puddles and he couldn’t stop staring at the gorgeous little boy who had just been pushed from my body.

The gorgeous little boy who was made the night Eric told me I was a fever in his veins. The night I lost my heart to the man who I thought would end my whole world. In the midst of that fear and confusion, this perfect little boy came to life and changed our world in insurmountable ways.

I have never before been so grateful for sex. Now I thank the universe for it every day.

Beau yawns in my arms, his tiny mouth taking up his scrunchy little face, and snuggles into me. Tears prick at my eyes as I stroke his chubby cheeks and hum along with the only song that lulls him to sleep.

We rock like this for another four rounds of the song because I can’t bear to put him down. I need a shower and clean clothes, a glass of wine, and at least seven naps. The dishes need to be done and bottles need to be sterilized, but I want to savor this moment for as long as possible.

Lily pops her head in the room and smiles. She uses a series of comically complicated hand motions to ask if he’s asleep. I nod and smile back.

“Come on out.” She whispers. “You need a break.”

I steal one more gaze of my son before utilizing my newly developed ninja skills to get up and leave him still sleeping in his bassinet. It doesn’t always work, but he doesn’t move after I move him. I drink in one last glimpse and gently shut the door behind him.

“I did the dishes.” Lily tells me and hands me a glass of water. “All the bottles are in the sterilizer and the living room is tidied.”

“I love you so much I could cry.” I say, genuinely touched. “You didn’t have to do any of that.”

“That’s why Aunt Lily is here, crazy lady. I’m here to help however I can with my perfect nephew. Just, you know, not the diapers. Even Aunt Lily has limits.”

“I can’t say I blame you.” I grin. “Baby poop is terrifying. No one tells you this, but it’s truly terrifying.”

“Well, now you can go take a bath and a nap and forget little Beau’s disgusting butt action. Go relax! If he gets up, I’ll handle him. You’ve been going for days with Eric out of town, and you need to put your feet up.”

“I guess you’re right.” I do feel completely worn down. Eric tried to postpone his trip to New York, but some sort of emergency popped up and no one else was there to pick up the pieces. “I can’t thank you enough for coming over with him gone.”

“Yeah, yeah. Thank me later. Go take a bath.”

“I’d hug you, but I’m worried my smell will offend you.”

“It’s the thought that counts.” Lily winks at me. “Now go away. I’ve got some popcorn and terrible TV to catch up on. Pax keeps deleting Nights of Our Lives from the DVR and I am seriously behind.”

“All right, all right.” I concede. Popcorn and TV sound fun. Feeling like an adult again sounds wonderful. But so does hot water, and the desire to be clean wins.

I let out a low whistle when I open the bedroom door. It was a holy terror mess this morning, but the bed is now made and the laundry is all put away. A candle is burning on a bedside table, my favorite lavender, and all the exhaustion I carry in my shoulders melts away. That Lily, I don’t deserve her.

I step on something soft and look down. Rose petals lead me into the bathroom where a hot bubble bath waits. Tears of gratitude prick my eyes. The rose petals are maybe a bit much, but she knew how tired I was and this is the best gift I could have asked for.

Off come the sweatpants and the shirt covered in spit up. I slide into the hot water and feel immediate ease. I always found the answer to life in the water, but Beau made baths next to impossible. This is the rare treat that I really need.

She must have tossed a bath bomb in here, too, because everything feels silky and smells amazing. My eyes grow heavier the longer I sit, and soon I’m no longer in the bath tub, but on a balcony, dancing with Eric. Almost like the days I fantasized about him across a mediation table, except this time we’re tender and seductive, instead of domineering and cruel.

The moon is bright and the sky is perfectly clear. Frank Sinatra croons overhead and our bodies meld as we sway to the music. Having a baby seriously dampened our levels of intimacy, but being this close to him, dancing, is just as sexy as our times together naked.

“I’ve missed you.” Dream Eric whispers in my hair. His fingers rake across the exposed skin on my back. Dream Me still wears the sexy evening gowns. “The days were too long without you.”

“I missed you too.” Dream Me whispers back against his lips. I can feel his breath fuse with mine and the soft kiss of his eyelashes against my forehead. “The bed isn’t the same without you.”

“It won’t be empty anymore.” Dream Eric promises.

He kisses me softly, teasing my lips with his. I press him for more, but he only laughs quietly and leaves a tiny bite on my upper lip.

“What do you want?” He asks.

“You.”

Eric finally obliges, crushing my mouth with his. He’s dominating and powerful, but then slows down and kisses me tenderly. He tells me he loves me with his touch, lets me know how deeply he missed me with his tongue. Every kiss stirs the dormant places within my body awake, like I’ve been renewed. Shivers trip down my spine.

The weight of his hands against my head is so real I could cry. I know this is a dream, these kisses and these soft touches, but I miss him with my entire being. I just want him here.

“Kate.” Dream Eric whispers against me. “Kate, wake up.”

“I am awake.” Dream Me whispers back.

“Open your eyes.”

I slowly open my eyes. The water is still warm and soft against my skin, something sweet tickles my nose, and there is something in front of me that I can’t quite make out.

“Surprise.” A familiar voice says softly. He pulls back and Eric grins brightly at me. “Enjoying the bath?”

“You’re home!” I squeal and wrap my arms around his neck without thinking twice about getting his clothes wet. This is better than the bath. “I thought you weren’t coming home until tomorrow.”

“Finished early, told them all to fuck off because I needed my wife and my son. They’re sending over a few documents for me to review tonight, but I’m otherwise all yours for the next week.”

“This is incredible.”

“Not as incredible as you in this bath. Lie back, my love. I’m going to bathe you.”

“Bathe me?” I ask, a little coy. I run a finger down his arm because I can’t not touch him. He’s been gone for days and I’ve missed him so fiercely. “That sounds scandalous.”

“I live for scandal,” he says, cheeky.

Using a soft washcloth, Eric slowly washes every inch of me, starting with my feet, and massages my exhausted body along the way. It’s a heavenly, delicious feeling and I could almost fall asleep as he moves up my legs.

It’s only when he hovers over my center, still tightly wound from dancing with him in my dreams, that I feel awake. I try to slide closer to him so he can touch me, but he moves up my stomach and around the swells of my breasts. I never knew being bathed could be so erotic.

“Sit up.” He says softly and moves behind me. My body is at war between relaxation and arousal. “You’re so beautiful, Kate. This amazing body that carried our son inside, and now cradles him on the outside? Stunning.”

“It’s smushy and tired.” I murmur, eyes closed and lost in the nearness of him.

“It’s perfect.” He places a single kiss on the back of my neck that promises to ruin me. “Come, my lady.”

He offers his hand and helps me out of the tub. I’m wrapped in my favorite robe and carried to bed, Eric never turning his attention from me for a second. He lays me down gently, robe open, and presses hot kisses against my skin: my mouth, my collar bone, the valley between my breasts.

I watch his dark head slowly work down my body. He drags his teeth against my hips and sets my heart aflame. The closer his mouth gets to my center, though, the more panic I feel.

“Steady, my love,” he murmurs against my hip. “It will be okay.”

“Things have changed.” I whisper. “Your son was a beast, remember?”

He runs a finger over my swollen pussy lips and I can’t suppress the moan. He repeats it again and my legs fall open, granting him the access my anxiety wants to deny. He gently opens me up and runs two more fingers against my exposed wetness.

“It’s just as beautiful and delicious as ever.” He says, his voice husky and deep. Eric’s voice drops when he’s turned on, and it, in turn, arouses me all the more. “There is nothing wrong with you, Kate. You have everything, everything, I could ever want.”

The flat of his tongue engulfs my tender flesh and my chest seizes, my vision blurs. Every fear I have melts away in an instant. I no longer fight him, but leave myself exposed and ripe for his pleasure.

“That’s my good girl,” his voice rumbles against my clit and it steals my breath.

His mouth finds all the spots I thought disappeared. Every place his teeth would make me moan, or the places where a flick of his tongue would send heat flooding through me, are as vibrant as ever.

Eric’s hair tickles the inside of my thighs as his mouth makes love to me. He kisses and sucks, licks and nibbles. He treats me like a piece of fruit grown just for him. Every touch is sweeter than the last.

I try to watch him. I love to see his eyes burn through me while he licks and fucks me, but the pressure mounts and floods through me. It’s been so long since he’s touched me this way that my body is unable to handle the intensity.

“Eric.” I breathe between moans. I don’t know what I need to say to him, I just want to know he’s here, that he’s real.

He slides his hands underneath me and pulls me in closer to him. There is no escaping the pressure of his tongue. He destroys me and rebuilds me with every kiss and every flick of his tongue. I close my eyes and lose myself to the sound of him grunting softly.

A memory flickers through my mind, a view of him stroking himself when he licked me during our first time together. I remember how sexy it was to see him so worked up over the act of pleasuring me.

I pry my eyes open and see him lying on his side, one hand under me, but the other now gripping his cock as he licks me. It is all I need to lose myself totally to the surging electric current in my veins.

My body shakes and shivers under him as my mind goes blissfully blank. He presses harder against me, licking up every bit of juice my body releases through the orgasm. It’s sharp and powerful, my first real, earth-shattering one after giving birth, and it is everything I ever wanted.

I collapse against the pillow, breathless. His tongue travels across my swollen lips once more and causes my entire body to shiver. I reach for him, still magnificently erect in his hand.

“This was for you.” He grunts, voice tight and straining. “My pleasure is secondary.”

“I want this for you.”

I roll over and down the bed before he can protest. I take his length in my mouth all at once, the head hitting the back of my throat. Eric’s groans become more prominent. He works his base while I suck on his head, savoring the feel of him again in my mouth.

He’s already done most of the work, so every suck and lick against his cock makes him jump and twitch. I gently press against the space behind his balls and take all of him again. Like magic, Eric grunts and moans through an orgasm that shoots down my throat. I drink him in until he, too, collapses against the bed.

He pulls me back to the pillows and covers us in blankets. We snuggle together, naked, for what feels like the first time in months. It’s my favorite feeling in the entire world. Nothing can touch us here.

“I missed you.” I breathe softly.

“I missed you, Kate,” he murmurs against my neck. “Sleep, my love. Sleep.”

We lay entwined under a heavy duvet, our son sleeping a room away, and naked bodies reacquainted with one another. There is nothing on this earth I could ask for that would be more perfect than this.

I've included a collection of four of my novellas, including two that have never been published before.

I hope you enjoy them!

His Prize:
A Second Chance
Billionaire Romance

She’s not getting away this time.

My billion-dollar company ran a competition that swept the nation.

First prize?

One week at my Caribbean mansion.

I can’t believe my eyes when the winner steps off the plane.

Olivia King.

The girl who wouldn’t go to prom with me.

I never expected her to win my prize.

But now that she’s here, I’m going to give it to her over and over.

*** A steamy STANDALONE contemporary romance with a smoking hot hero. No cliffhanger, no cheating, and a guaranteed happily-ever-after.***

CHAPTER ONE

OLIVIA KING

I can’t wait to bury my toes in warm white sand.

Peering out the window, I watch as the clouds buoy the private jet in its journey across the sky.

Sighing, I tear my eyes away from the peaceful view and marvel at my luck.

The last two weeks flash through my mind as I take in the opulence of the plane that is transporting me from little old Tennessee to Turks and Caicos.

Spacious leather seating, wood-grain trimmings and a gracious stewardess to cater to my every need.

Everything is at my fingertips all because I randomly entered a contest on a social media app that Winnie couldn’t stop raving about.

After downloading the Discover Travel app, I entered the contest by answering a simple question: How has traveling changed your life?

Sticking to the truth, I instead shared how the absence of travel had shaped my life. All the flights I never booked. All the adventures I’d never had. As well as how much I wanted to change that.

Now, it’s happening.

I could kiss Winnie on the forehead for her pesky insistence.

As if she can sense that I’m thinking about her, my phone vibrates as a new message comes through. Thanks to the complimentary WiFi on the flight, I’m still able to utilize my phone’s cloud messaging feature.

Don’t forget about my shout out!

When I land, I’m set to meet the creator of the app, Bash Something-or-other. What kind of name is that? Cameras will be present to capture him giving me my prize of one-million dollars, as well as the keys to the private house I’ll be staying in for the duration of my one-week stay on the southernmost island of Turks and Caicos.

I have dinner tonight with the creator of the app as part of the contest, then the rest of the week is mine to fill with whatever I want to do.

The meet and greet is set to stream live on the app as well as Good Morning America. The thought of so many eyes on me is nerve-racking but at least I’ll be fashionable while I’m sweating bullets.

With Winnie’s help, I went shopping earlier this week and nearly maxed out the one credit card I had.

Grinning, I tap out a reply to my best friend.

Couldn’t forget it for the world. I’m so freaking excited!!

I followed the exclamatory text with a string of emojis to further convey my excitement.

I’m excited for you, sweetie.

I type out another message.

I wish you were here with me.

The original plan was for Winnie to act as my plus one for the duration of the trip. However, her boss overturned his approval for her vacation request at the last minute when a big project came up.

So I’m flying solo. Literally.

I’ll make it up to you, doll. Just relax and soak it in. You deserve this break more than anyone I know. Enjoy every second.

My heart squeezes at her sweet words.

Thanks, hon. See ya in a week! Kisses

Seconds later, my phone buzzes in my lap. I laugh looking down at the screen.

And don’t forget to tell me all about your island fling. I want to hear every detail.

Snickering, I return my gaze back to the window and get lost in my thoughts.

For some reason, Winnie is convinced that I’m going to find a handsome stranger and engage in all sorts of lewd acts during my short stay. She claims I can use the “release” and an island fling is the perfect way to get my feet wet again after such a dry spell.

I haven’t dated anyone seriously in years.

Not since my ex, Jordan, who failed to mention he’d been planning his wedding the whole time we were involved. One morning, I’d logged into my Facebook account during a break at the nursing home and nearly lost my breakfast.

Posted for all our friends to see were photos of Jordan from the previous night, dressed in a tux and looking lovingly at a woman who was not me as he exchanged his wedding vows.

To say I was heartbroken would be an understatement. Shattered was more like it.

Of all the shitty things in my life, I had considered Jordan to be my bright spot. But apparently, I’d only been a distraction from his true love.

The whole ordeal devastated me for months. I’d been so humiliated that I shut down, emotionally and physically.

I’d ended up quitting my job and sleeping on Winnie’s couch for a month. Her tough love had brought me back to life and given me the boost I needed to get back on my feet.

She told me that I was welcome to stay with her as long as I needed, but I had to at least try. She wouldn’t stand by and watch me deteriorate into nothingness.

She was the only person rooting for me and I couldn’t let her down.

So I’d gone out and landed my current job as a live-in caregiver for my eighty-year-old patient, Arnold.

His son, Gavin, hired me because his aging father has dementia and requires around-the-clock care.

The only catch is that I had to move in to the home and make myself available twenty-four seven.

Since I wasn’t dating and led a pretty boring life anyway, I jumped at the opportunity not realizing the physical and mental toll that the long hours and demanding work would take on my body.

I can’t remember the last day I’ve had free time to do more than grab a quick coffee with Winnie, let alone escape my hometown for a week-long vacation.

I’m counting on this trip to revive me in more ways than one. This is the first time I’ve ever left the country and I can’t wait for the adventure ahead.

It seems the universe is finally working in my favor.

A ding sounds and the stewardess appears near my seat seconds later, wearing an easy smile.

“We’ll be landing soon, dear. Is there anything I can get you before our descent?”

“No, thanks,” I answer with a smile of my own.

As we descend, I check my face in my compact and make sure I’m camera ready.

As ready as I’ll ever be.

Moments later, we’re on the ground and I expel a shaky breath.

This is it.

Gathering my purse, I stand and make my way to the door near the front of the plane.

My steps nearly falter when I see the man waiting for me to join him on the tarmac.

Sebastian Downs.

CHAPTER TWO

SEBASTIAN DOWNS

The airplane stairs open and I shove my hands in my pockets, waiting for the winner to be revealed.

A petite figure appears and the cameramen move quickly to capture her every move.

Patiently, I wait as the woman grabs the side rail. I admire her subtle curves in the white dress that stops above her knees.

She’s a tiny little thing but her body is pure perfection.

As she nears, it dawns on me that she looks familiar. Like I’ve seen her face before.

My brain begins working overtime to place her face and when it happens, I’m nearly floored.

Olivia fucking King!

My high school crush and the girl who turned me down for prom a decade ago.

Carefully, I watch her face for any signs of recognition but she only smiles while tossing furtive glances at the cameras surrounding us.

Holy shit.

She looks good.

Exhausted, but good.

Still a dainty little thing, her hair is darker than I remember and her eyes don’t hold the same light they once did, but not much else has changed.

The next few moments pass me by in a blur.

We are cued by people on the sidelines to shake hands and smile for camera two. Then a distant voice instructs me to present her with the prize money and pose with the obnoxious, oversized check.

Olivia goes through the motions, smiling but not making eye contact and I know without a doubt that she recognizes who the fuck I am.

When I present her with the keys to my private compound for the week, our fingers brush and a shock jolts my entire body.

What the hell?

Following her lead, I maintain my cool for the cameras and smile charmingly as she accepts the grand prize and proclaims her love for someone named Winnie.

It all passes me in a haze of activity as I’m transported back to Prairie View High School ten years earlier.

The halls were crowded as I made my way through the mass of people to get to my next class.

Only one thing was on my mind at the moment and that was asking my longtime crush, Olivia King, to the senior prom.

I’d liked her since I had laid eyes on her earlier this school year, and I’d harbored this crush secretly, all the way to prom season.

But today was the day.

I was going to bite the bullet and just go for it.

I’d never wanted to go to prom before. It wasn’t really my scene.

As a self-proclaimed tech nerd, my circle was pretty small and I stuck with them for the most part.

But something about Olivia had called to me and made me eager to learn more about her.

From our limited interactions in art class, I knew that she was sweet and soft spoken. She always slid me an easy smile and engaged in small talk as we worked on our projects in the studio.

I was a terrible artist but it was the elective I looked forward to most.

I arrived in the art studio and dropped my backpack near the door before pulling on my smock. I collected the tools I’d need to complete my project and went to sit down to wait for Olivia’s arrival.

She didn’t keep me waiting long and walked in wearing a pretty yellow sundress and sandals. Her strawberry blonde hair was pulled up and secured by a white ribbon.

She was perfection.

Her usual easy smile was missing and replaced with a serious, contemplative expression.

But she still greeted me sweetly after putting on her smock.

“Hi, Sebastian.”

Butterflies swarmed in my stomach.

“Hi, Olivia. How’s it going?”

She tilted her and appeared to think about her answer before settling on, “I’m really happy it’s Friday. I don’t think I could take another day here.”

“I hear you. Any plans this weekend?”

Shaking her head, she frowned.

“What about you?” she asked, selecting a pencil to start her new sketch.

“Not much. Probably just helping my dad out at the shop and then I may go see a movie.”

Olivia made a noncommittal sound and just nodded before diving into her art work.

We worked in silence for a few minutes before I gathered up the nerve to speak again.

At that moment, I was thrilled that our workstation was near the back of the gallery, not exactly in earshot of the other students or the art teacher for that matter.

“Olivia, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

Distracted, she looked up.

“What’s up?”

“Would you like to go to prom with me?”

After what seemed like hours, Olivia found her voice.

Though her next words made me wish she’d just remained mute.

“Sebastian, I’m sorry.”

I cleared my throat and tried to pretend that the words didn’t sting as much as they did.

“It’s not you, trust me.”

If I wasn’t so crushed, I’d probably roll my eyes at her weak attempt to console me.

“This is just not a good time for me. I don’t even know what’s happening anymore. I wouldn’t be good company anyway. But it was really sweet of you to ask.”

Unable to speak, I just gazed at her and only nodded, letting her know that I understood.

Even if it was the furthest thing from the truth.

This is why I never put myself out there.

No matter how good my chances seemed, I just wasn’t cut out for this shit.

A sad smile claimed her face before she went back to work as if she hadn’t just crushed my teenage dreams.

Jolted back to the present by a hand on my shoulder, I allow myself to be escorted to the awaiting limo.

Olivia slides in before me and I follow close behind her.

This should be fun.

CHAPTER THREE

OLIVIA KING

This is insane!

I’m sitting in the back of a limo with Sebastian Downs.

And he’s a billionaire now?

Oh, my God.

Seated across from me, he is the picture of calm and collected while I freak out internally.

Does he recognize me?

Had he set up this whole thing when he saw my pathetic submission?

What the hell is going on?

The car accelerates, smoothly covering ground and I continue to stare at him in shock.

I don’t remember him being this gorgeous in high school.

But he is panty-dropping fine these days.

Currently, he’s looking down at his phone tapping away at the screen, so I take the opportunity to admire him in all his glory.

A strong square jaw accentuates the other beautiful features on his tanned face and the glasses he once wore are gone, giving me a clear view of his dazzling blue eyes.

His well-muscled body is a glorious testament to the hours he must spend in the gym every week. I can’t help but appreciate the resulting powerful physique.

He’s donned in a simple button up, slacks and loafers but I can just tell from looking at him that the getup probably cost more than two months of my pitiful salary.

And don’t get me started on his cologne.

The scent is musky and masculine. Purely intoxicating and making it nearly impossible to focus on anything but him.

I’d expected to be a sweaty mess in front of the cameras, but what I hadn’t expected was for the source of my frazzled nerves to be my old classmate.

“Are you just going to keep staring or are you going to speak, Olivia?” he asks darkly, catching me off guard.

A startled gasp escapes me before I can help myself. I still can’t pull my eyes away from him though.

The muscle at the base of his jaw is ticking as he takes the opportunity to ogle me in return.

“H-Hi,” I stammer shyly.

His eyes darken at the sound of my voice and his intense gaze takes its time roaming over my attire, pausing briefly on my legs and finally my pedicured feet.

“I can’t believe it’s you,” he says pensively, meeting my eyes.

“I can’t believe it’s you, either,” I return.

His large hand reaches up to massage his chin as he stares at me silently.

“Still perfect little Olivia, I see.”

My hearts rattles against my chest at his assessment of me. I don’t understand why I’m so thrown off by his words.

Sebastian continues peering at me from across the car. Suddenly, he tears his gaze away from me and turns to the mini bar.

“Would you like a drink?” he asks, gruffly.

“No, thanks,” my voice is small but it’s all I can manage at the moment.

He grunts and pours himself a whiskey straight. After the first sip, his huge shoulders visibly relax and he returns his gaze to me.

I make him tense?

For some strange reason, that thought is gratifying. My nerves have been on high alert since I came down those stairs so it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one affected.

“What have you been doing with yourself these days, Olivia?”

Clearly the wrong things. There’s one billionaire in this backseat and it sure as hell isn’t me.

“Just working,” I admit because it’s the truth.

My life is as drab as it comes.

“What has it been? Ten years?” he asks with a frown before downing the rest of his drink.

“Yeah, something like that,” I say nodding and wishing I had accepted his offer for a drink.

My mouth is suddenly dry now that his attention is focused solely on me.

“Are you still in Tennessee?” he wants to know.

“Yep, I never left.”

“Wow.” He seems stunned. “Well, I bet you’re the best nurse in the state.”

Again, my heart rattles at his words.

I can’t believe he remembers my ramblings from art class. I’d practically talked his ear off three times a week while we worked on our assignments.

He’s smiling at me and I know the same memories are whirling through his mind.

“Not quite,” I say, a little ashamed. “I’m a home health aid worker for the elderly at the moment.”

Sebastian is visibly taken aback by this revelation.

“Oh,” is all he says.

“Things didn’t exactly work out the way I planned,” I offer as explanation. “But my job is very rewarding. I love what I do.”

I don’t know why I feel the need to explain myself. My career choice is none of his business. But the last time he saw me, I thought I had it all figured out.

My father’s betrayal had destroyed everything.

Before Sebastian can say anything else, the car comes to a stop in front of the most breathtaking house I’ve ever seen.

The word house doesn’t do the place just.

It’s a palace. And I haven’t even gone inside yet.

Sebastian studies my reaction with an unreadable expression before announcing, “We’re here.”

***

Inside, I can’t stop gushing over the place.

Pride aside, I roam the halls of the mansion with a huge grin on my face. Sebastian can barely keep up with my eager pace.

“Oh, my God!” I exclaim as I reach what appears to be a solarium.

I know right away that I’ll be spending my mornings here doing yoga for the next week.

The entire compound is simply gorgeous.

I really wish Winnie were here to see this. Pictures simply won’t do it justice.

An open floor plan allows the rooms to flow easily from one to another and an abundance of windows let natural sunlight to flood the place.

The master suite floors me. Not only is the room huge, but there’s a private living room attached, as well a study, walk-in closet and a full-out spa that Sebastian calls a bathroom.

I’m in heaven.

“I can’t believe I get to live here for the next week,” I say, trailing my finger along the fine marble of the sink.

Sebastian says nothing. He just leans against the door frame and watches my awestruck movements.

From the window near the tub I can see the backyard and my breath catches at the sight.

The beach is the backyard.

“Everything is so beautiful,” I swoon, touching my touch as I observe the waves lapping against the white sand.

“Yeah… it is,” Sebastian agrees with a funny tone.

When I turn to look at him, I’m thrown off balance at the look of pure male appreciation in his light blue orbs.

Opening my mouth to fill the thick silence, I lose my chance when his phone rings.

Holding up one finger, he excuses himself and leaves the room.

“Sebastian Downs,” his deep voice says as way of greeting. Left alone, I return to the sink and study my reflection in the mirror mounted above it.

My cheeks are flushed, my green eyes wide and chest heaving.

What the hell is happening to me?

“I have to go handle something,” Sebastian says, his presence filling the doorway once again.

“Oh, okay.”

Turning away from the mirror, I watch him slip his phone into his pocket.

“But I’ll be back for our one-on-one dinner. Does seven work for you?”

“Of course,” I agree easily.

I’m ready now!

“Great.” His smile is charming as he turns on his heel. “I’ll see you then. Get settled and let the staff know if you need anything.”

His strides are measured and confident as I watch him retreat.

I suppress the urge to squeal and race over to my suitcase to find something to wear.

CHAPTER FOUR

SEBASTIAN DOWNS

Alone, in my Jeep, I handle the curves of the road skillfully and head back to my hotel for an emergency video conference with our overseas partners in Japan.

Usually, I would stay at my place when in town but I’d just turned over the keys to Olivia for a week.

Olivia, Olivia, Olivia.

That woman is trouble on two beautiful legs.

After our dinner tonight, I need to get back to the States.

Of all the people in the world who could have won, I couldn’t believe it was Olivia. The contest had been announced six months ago and ran for that entire time, gaining millions of submissions and tons of media attention.

Everyone wanted to be the lucky soul to win a million dollars and a trip to paradise for a week.

My competent team had done most of the groundwork, running interference on the app and filtering through the top submissions. The only thing left for me to do was pick the answer I liked the most from their top ten, show my face to present the prize today and go for dinner with the winner.

Sounds simple enough, right?

I’ve never been more wrong in my life.

Olivia’s honestly the last person I expected to step off that plane.

Being in the back of the limo with her wreaked havoc on my senses. My cock strained against my zipper so hard I thought it would burst open.

She’s every bit as beautiful now as she was ten years ago and seemingly just as sweet.

In high school, despite her popular status, an air of genuine realness had accompanied her and I’m happy to see that she still possesses this quality.

When she told me that she wasn’t a nurse, I’d done a terrible job at hiding my shock.

Olivia had every last detail of her life planned down to a tee and I can’t but wonder what had thrown her track.

That’s none of my business.

I just need to get through the last part of her prize package — our sit-down dinner — and then I’ll be on my way.

Nothing good can come from dredging up these feelings. They belong in the past and that’s where the hell I will leave them.

I have a growing business to run and she’ll only serve to distract me.

Pulling up in front of the hotel, I throw the Jeep in park and hop out. Tossing my keys to the valet, I rush inside to take of business.

***

Later that evening, I pull up to the house and sigh as I cut the engine.

I have to face her again and I hate myself for feeling like such a wimp.

High school was years ago, yet seeing her today had erased the passage of time and transported me back to that art room where I sat longing for her affection.

Pushing my car door open, I decide to face the music.

I don’t get a chance to even knock on the door before she swings it open with a radiant smile plastered on her beautiful face.

She looks slightly rejuvenated already.

“Hi there,” she says with a gleeful lilt to her voice.

And nothing makes me happier than to know I’ve played a role in her apparent happiness.

Suddenly, I’m thrilled that I let my assistant talk me into creating this contest to celebrate the five-year anniversary of the app launching.

I’ll have to send my assistant flowers and chocolate to show my appreciation.

“Hey, yourself,” I smile down at her. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yep,” she replies, standing on tiptoe to look over my shoulder. “Is that our car for the evening?”

My cock twitches at her proximity. Her natural feminine scent mixed with the smell of her fruity shampoo does a number on me.

I step back, creating distance and let her walk in front of me.

Big mistake.

The strappy sundress she’s wearing is completely backless. The bright, floral material falls over her petite frame, the bottom brushing the ground as we walk to the car.

My eyes are drawn like magnets to the sway of her hips and the enticing dip in her back.

Holy fuck.

Opening the passenger door, I offer a hand to help her up since the Jeep sits up pretty high.

When her small palm is in mine, a shock ripples through me, similar to the one that jolted me when I handed over her check earlier today.

“Thank you,” Olivia says once she’s seated.

Without thinking, I reach over her and secure her seatbelt as if she’s incapable.

Admittedly, the urge to take care of her is just impossible to ignore.

A charged look passes between the two of us but neither of us dare break the silence.

As I round the front of the car to get the driver’s side, the bulge in my pants throbs, eager for release.

***

A burger. Of all the things that Olivia could try on the menu, she’d settled for a burger that was the size of her face and a heaping side of curly fries.

But I must admit, I’m enjoying watching her eat it.

“You do realize you could eat that in Tennessee, right?”

“Mmm, but it’s so delicious here!” she says, shoving more fries into her mouth.

I shake my head and laugh as I continue to watch her, my meal all but forgotten.

There’s a dab of mayo on the corner of her mouth and my mind jumps straight to the gutter.

I imagine my cum smeared across her mouth as she kneels before me, on her knees, my cock buried deep in her throat.

As if my erection couldn’t get any more painful, my dick throbs, wanting to bring my fantasy to life.

“What?” Olivia asks self-consciously, noticing my gaze is fixed on her mouth.

Snapping out of my salacious thoughts, I smirk and shake my head.

“Nothing, you just have some mayo on your lip.”

Reaching up, Olivia swipes the wrong side of her mouth.

Amused, I grab the napkin situated in my lap and reach across the table to help her.

She freezes at the contact, her green eyes darkening to a deep jade color before she mutters her thanks.

Pleased that she’s just as affected by me as I am by her, I relax a little and slouch against my chair.

We’re seated outside at a popular restaurant on the island. Live music is playing and the beach is only yards away but the atmosphere is lost on me as I focus on Olivia.

“So, tell me more about your life.”

She smiles self-deprecatingly.

“In comparison to yours, I’m sure it’s pretty boring.”

Glancing down at the table self-consciously, she avoids eye contact.

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”

“There’s not much to tell. I went to Guildford Tech after graduation and got my license as a certified nursing assistant. After that, I got a gig at the only nursing home in town and worked there for about seven years before I quit due to personal reasons. I’m currently a live-in aid for an eighty-year-old dementia patient named Arnold. I love my job and it’s very rewarding. But also pretty exhausting. That’s why I entered the contest. I can’t remember the last time I’ve taken a vacation. Of course at the time, I didn’t know you were the creator of the app. I nearly fell down the stairs when I saw you waiting for me.”

I smile easily at her admission. Intrigued, I want to know the personal reason that led her to quit her job at the nursing home, but I don’t feel like I have the right to ask.

And why the hell hadn’t she gone off to college to become a registered nurse? I was there the day she opened her acceptance letter to Tennessee State and knew she had big plans of moving to a city and working at a top hospital.

Olivia shrugs and looks at me. “And that’s it. That’s my life in a nutshell. Told you it’s pretty boring.”

But I still want more.

“What about your personal life? Are you dating anyone at the moment?”

CHAPTER FIVE

OLIVIA KING

Sebastian’s question throws me for a loop, but I recover quickly and simply shake my head in response.

I swear that his blue eyes light up at this newfound information.

“Your turn. I want to know everything. How did you become this tech genius?”

His relaxed position in the chair is disarming. He looks thoroughly relaxed and in control.

Meanwhile, I’m fidgeting under his steady gaze.

His low voice is strong and clear when he answers my question.

“Well, it certainly didn’t happen overnight, that’s for sure. I left Tennessee and moved to Silicon Valley right after graduation. I never wanted to go to college, as I’m sure you remember. “

I nod in agreement, remembering how much he loathed it. He was so incredibly smart but hated the institution of school and always vowed that high school was it for him.

“The plan was to move to California and find an internship with a startup in the Valley. It wasn’t as easy as I thought and I ended up flipping burgers and sleeping on a holey couch at my friend’s place until something came available at Google. I worked for pennies, basically, but I was so hungry for knowledge that I didn’t even care.”

I smile because that sounds just like Sebastian.

“I interned there for two years before I moved on to a junior position at Twitter. There’s where I met my business partner, Malakai. After working side by side for a few years, we developed an app together that we knew would change social media for years to come. After working sixteen-hour days, we’d meet up at my place and pore over consumer data and trends. I coded while he handled the other logistics.”

Mesmerized by his story, I push my plate aside and lean my elbows against the table giving him my undivided attention.

“Then five years ago, we launched Discover Travel. It was a rocky start, but we found our footing through the chaos. Navigating such a saturated digital market is hard as hell but I think we’ve managed pretty well.”

“I’ll say,” I say and Sebastian smiles.

He’s so fucking hot.

How come I never noticed in high school?

My head was so deep in books and my plans of the future that I failed to realize how gorgeous my classmate was.

“I’m really, really proud of you,” I share, extending my hand across the table to touch his.

Currents of electricity surge through me at the contact and I try not to yank my hand back in shock.

Never have I ever felt such a palpable connection with someone.

“Thanks,” he intones seriously. “That means a lot coming from you, Olivia.”

The timbre of his voice when he says my name makes me giddy, but I mask the reaction with a small smile of my own.

“I don’t know why, I’m sure you hear it every day!”

The ways he’s focusing on me is unnerving and I want to shift the attention back to him.

He doesn’t let me off the hook so easily.

“It means more coming from you.”

The gravity of his words settle on me and my chest constricts at the serious expression on his devastatingly handsome face.

“You know, it nearly crushed me when you turned down my offer to prom,” he says out of the blue.

Confused, I stare at him as my eyes widen. “What?”

“Senior prom. I wanted to go with you but you turned me down.”

A frown is on my face as he shares this tidbit.

“I did?”

I’m honestly having trouble recalling this. I’d never gone to prom. Though I’d had every intention to before my father crushed me with his stinging betrayal.

I specifically remember learning that I wouldn’t be going to college in the middle of prom season.

“Yep,” he says easily. “I finally got up the courage to ask you one Friday during art class and you said no. Something about it not being a good time for you. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed that you couldn’t just tell me to my face that you didn’t want to go with me.”

Memories come flooding back and I remember that day in the art room as if it was yesterday.

“Oh, my God.” I clasp a hand over my mouth.

“Coming back to you now?” he asks with a teasing smile.

“You have to believe me, Sebastian. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go. I just couldn’t. I’d just found out that I wasn’t going to college because my dad had lost my entire college fund due to his gambling habit.”

This makes him sit up straighter.

I shake my head and continue. “I would have gone with you in a heartbeat, but the timing was shitty. I was even on the prom committee, but quit once I found out about my dad. I just didn’t want to do anything anymore. I was crushed.”

“Olivia, I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

It’s his turn to reach out and place a comforting hand over mine.

I relish in the warmth of his touch.

“You have no reason to apologize. How could you know that my father was a selfish bastard?”

He looks contrite before shaking his head. “Still…”

I shrug, wanting to lighten the mood. “It’s in the past. Let’s leave it there.”

This has been my motto for a while. It got me through community college, the breakup with Jordan and I have no doubt that it will continue to serve its purpose.

Sebastian lets out a loud breath, before leaning in to me.

“Okay. Enough of the serious shit, what are you planning to do with the money?”

The somber mood is lifted and I smile, grateful for the reprieve.

“Well,” I start, taking a sip of my Diet Coke. “I’m finally going to nursing school. I started my application as soon as I got the phone call telling me that I won the competition.”

Sebastian is smiling at me. Butterflies dance in my stomach at the beautiful sight.

“That’s great, Olivia!” his voice is booming and full of pride.

I can’t explain just how that makes me feel but warm fuzzies blanket me, relieving the weariness I’ve become accustomed to feeling.

“I’m going to buy a house and settle all my debt. Invest a portion of it, then the rest is going in the bank so I can travel.”

It had been fairly easy to determine what I was going to do with the million dollar prize: invest in myself and make up for all the years I’d lost.

“That sounds like a great plan, Liv.”

Hearing my old nickname fall from his lips is downright dizzying. I’m not even going to examine why his approval means so much to me.

“Thanks to you,” I murmur lowly.

Out of nowhere, a pessimistic thought enters my mind.

“Did you pick my submission when you recognized my name?” I ask, suspiciously.

His face is impassive but he shakes his head emphatically.

“No, I had no idea it was you. My team narrowed it down the top ten submissions before they left them on my desk. The names weren’t on the stories I read. They were just numbered one through ten. I picked yours because it moved me.”

His words seem sincere so I don’t push the issue any further. Grabbing a luke-warm fry, I push it into my mouth for lack of anything else to do.

“Are you tired, Olivia?”

Yes, exhausted.

But there’s no way I’m going to admit it. I don’t want our night to end. It’s the first time I’ve seen him in ten years and he’s leaving soon.

“No,” I lie.

Sebastian’s tone is confident and clear when he decides, “We’re going dancing.”

CHAPTER SIX

SEBASTIAN DOWNS

So, this isn’t my best idea.

Not only is Olivia an incredible dancer, she draws a lot of attention despite her diminutive stature.

Every fucker in the building is practically drooling as they leer at her from different corners of the club.

Lucky for me, Olivia seems unfazed as she throws her hands in the air and winds her hips against me to the beat of the music.

I have a raging hard-on and I know she can feel it through the thin material of her dress. But she doesn’t let on. She just keeps working her ass against me until I’m sure I’m going to lose my mind.

Who knew little miss goody two shoes was such a sensual dancer?

We’ve both imbibed a couple drinks already, but I need another if I’m going to make it through this sweet torture.

Bending down to whisper in her ear, I catch a whiff of her perfume which is now mixed with the scent of berry sangria — her drink of choice.

I inhale a lungful of the seductive fragrance before speaking.

“I’m going to get us some more drinks,” I tell her, my lips brushing her earlobe.

In spite of the warm temperature in the club, I swear I feel her shiver before she looks up at me.

“I’ll come with you,” she shouts over the music. “I could use a break.”

Thrilled that I won’t be leaving her alone on the dance floor, I grab her tiny hand and secure it against my chest as I lead us through the throng of people on the small dance floor.

At the bar, I place our orders quickly then pull Olivia against me protectively.

The tourists and locals occupying the club are rude as fuck and have nearly knocked her off balance several times.

Still, a smile sits on her face as she sways to the music.

I decide she’s way too nice for her own good and that I will handle the next motherfucker who bumps into her.

My sexual frustration and slight buzz are to blame for my dark mood.

Just as the bartender hands over our drinks, my phone buzzes for the third time in half an hour and I know I have to take it.

Malakai is freaking out about something and I need to run interference before he flies to the island.

“Olivia, give me two minutes. I have to take this,” I rush to say before I head for the door with my beer in hand.

Lord knows I’m going to need it.

Malakai answers on the first ring and tears into a full-fledged diatribe about an error with a recent app update. Customers are complaining and he’s nervous that our stock will suffer if the programmers don’t fix it immediately.

It takes longer than I expect to calm him down and assure him that everything will be fine. With promises to video conference the development and logistics team when I return to my hotel room, I disconnect the call.

Pissed that I have to end my night with Olivia earlier than planned, I take my final swig of beer and reenter the club.

The sight before me tinges my vision a dangerous red color.

Olivia is in the center of the dance floor with another man, dancing her heart out.

With jealousy pumping through my veins, I march over to the two of them and pull Olivia’s arm harder than I intend to.

Alarmed, she yelps before realizing it’s me. Then her eyes widen as she takes in the angry expression on my face.

“Is everything okay?” she mouths, her voice no match for the deafening music.

“Let’s. Go. Now.” I mouth back and turn to walk away before she can protest.

In the Jeep, I pull out of the parking lot so fast that my tires screech.

Gripping the dashboard with white knuckles, Olivia looks at me wide eyed.

“Talk to me, Sebastian.” Her voice is soft but urgent.

Going with a half-truth, I share that something came up at the office.

“Oh.” She turns to me as I zoom through the streets back to the house. “Why didn’t you say so? I could have taken a cab,” she says, settling back into her seat.

“I wasn’t leaving you there alone,” I remark moodily, sliding her a sidelong glance.

“I see,” Olivia comments quietly, turning her head to stare out the window.

The remainder of the ride passes in tense silence. When I pull up to the house, Olivia wastes no time unfastening her seatbelt and hopping down from the Jeep without my help.

Shit, she’s upset.

“Olivia, wait. Damn it!” I call to her as she practically sprints to the front door.

Catching up to her, I seize her wrist before she can insert the key in the lock.

“Your jealousy is misplaced and totally inappropriate, Sebastian.”

Her words slice through me like a knife.

“Not to mention confusing,” she goes on, planting her hand on her hip.

Her fiery attitude is turning me on more than I’d like to admit. The air between us is charged with electricity as we stare at each other stubbornly.

Closing the space between us, my lips crash against hers hungrily before I can second guess myself.

Olivia sighs into my mouth as if the kiss is a relief and my senses come alive. Her scent fills my greedy lungs while my hands cup her face, the soft skin silky against my palms.

The sound of her labored breathing is music to my ears as my tongue tastes the remnants of her last drink.

She’s divine.

Olivia’s arms encircle my waist, bringing her closer to my erection. Breaking the kiss, I drop my forehead to hers and try to catch my breath.

“I’ve wanted to do that since you stepped off the plane,” I admit with a ragged breath.

“Do it again,” Olivia demands, running the tip of her tongue across my lips.

I lose it.

Backing her up against the double doors, I reclaim her mouth and this time instead of holding her face, I grip her waist. Then my hands continue the downward journey, enjoying the curve of her hips before landing on her thigh.

With little effort, I lift her left leg and rest it around my waist as my fingers continue their exploration of her exquisite body.

Deepening the kiss, I groan into her mouth as her tongue worships mine. Moving the material of her dress out of the way, my hands seek out the juncture between her legs.

“Shit,” I growl hoarsely when I realize her skimpy thong is drenched with her desire. “You’re wet for me, baby.”

The realization is more intoxicating than the drinks I had earlier.

Olivia only moans into my mouth, unwilling to break the kiss. She does, however, push her hips forward so that my fingers are in direct contact with her slippery center.

Taking the hint, I shove the crotch of her panties aside, eager for her wetness to coat my fingers.

Initially, I palm her pussy and I swear to God, I feel a throbbing pulse beating in time with my aching cock.

“Yes,” she whispers against my lips even though I haven’t done anything yet.

I slip my middle finger between her folds and nudge her needy clit.

Olivia whimpers, breaking the kiss as her head lolls back against the door.

Loving her body’s reaction to me, I graze her swollen nub again before plunging my index and middle fingers inside of her tight opening.

The way she clamps down around my two fingers drives me wild, and I drop my head to plant kisses against her neck.

“I need you,” she whines, hips undulating to speed up her release.

Right there in front of my house, I finger fuck her fast and hard, loving the way she shudders and drenches my fingers as she comes.

Her face is a sight for sore eyes as she rides out the waves of pleasure assailing her.

Anyone reviewing the security cameras tomorrow is in for a treat.

“Oh, my God,” Olivia pants, eyes still closed as she regains her senses.

I want nothing more than to go inside and finish the job but duty calls and a part of me knows I could never fuck her on the first night.

Kissing her forehead, I fix her dress and open the door for her before turning back to my car.

“Good night,” I call over my shoulder, not trusting myself to linger any longer.

It’s going to be a long night.

CHAPTER SEVEN

OLIVIA KING

Spill!

Eyeing the text from Winnie, my mouth drops open when I see the pics she’s attached to the message.

The first is a candid of Sebastian and me at dinner last night, with me blushing and smiling like a schoolgirl while he explained something.

The next is a photo of us leaving the club in a hurry last night. I wasn’t aware of any cameras flashing but mix together the strobe light from the club and my tipsiness and there’s no telling what I missed.

Crossing my legs in front of me, I set down my mug of tea and give the phone my full attention.

I had no idea people were taking photos.

Her response time is legendary. My phone buzzes in an instant.

Forget the damn pics, tell me you slept with him! He’s HOT HOT HOT

To drive her point home, she includes a series of fire emojis which makes me laugh out loud.

“You seem rejuvenated and happy this morning,” a low voice states behind me.

Turning to the voice, I glimpse Sebastian standing near the patio door that I left open before coming to watch the early morning waves ebb and flow against the shoreline.

He’s leaning against the door lazily, his hands tucked in the pockets of his shorts and sunglasses covering his eyes.

He’s the one who looks rejuvenated.

I’d waken up with a slight headache and memories from last night’s encounter that made me blush a deep scarlet in the bathroom mirror.

I was certainly in rare form last night.

“Good morning,” I offer with a shy smile before turning back to the view in front of me.

A low chuckle gets louder as he approaches my spot on the lounge chair.

Sitting at my feet, Sebastian removes his glasses and blesses me with a sinful view of those eyes in the morning sunlight.

“Tell me you’re not getting shy on me, Liv.”

As if it’s second nature, he pulls my bare feet into his lap and absentmindedly begins rubbing the soles as he peers at me, awaiting my response.

“How are you? Is everything okay at work?” I ask, proving his point completely.

My feet tingle under his skillful touch and the feeling radiates up my legs until I feel like I’m floating.

His eyebrows meet in the center of his forehead as he thinks about my question.

“The situation has been resolved, thankfully.”

“That’s good,” comes my weak response.

“I didn’t get much sleep but it’s handled,” he shares, watching the waves.

He looks great for a man who barely slept. But then I figure his body must be used to the long hours.

Then my mind ventures to what else his body must be used to.

“What are you up to today, Olivia?” Sebastian’s voice breaks through my naughty thoughts and makes me blush.

He’s watching me intently from the foot of my lounger and I melt under his gaze. It’s hotter than the sun.

I’m reminded of Winnie’s text and a secret smile quirks my lips.

“I don’t know. I thought about just spending a lazy day on the beach,” I say, indicating the bottle of tanning lotion on the table next to me.

“Really? Would you like some company?”

His hands have moved to my legs, skillfully massaging my calves as he stares out at the ocean.

It feels like the most natural thing in the world — to be sitting here with him with one of the most beautiful beaches on earth as the backdrop.

“You can stay,” I finally say. “But only if you help me put this on.”

Holding up the bottle of tanning lotion, I wiggle my eyebrows and wait for his response.

A devilish grin breaks out over his face and he snatches the bottle from my outstretched hand.

Next, he grasps my ankles and skillfully pulls me to the edge of the chair. Now we’re side by side and the proximity allows to me to enjoy his unique scent while he squirts a generous amount of the lotion in his hands.

I’m not sure what’s gotten into me but when I woke up this morning, I decided that I was going to enjoy every minute of this trip.

Even if it means having a one-night stand with my former classmate.

I’m usually not the impulsive, reckless type but something about Sebastian is addicting and I don’t think I want to ignore it.

After my shower last night, I’d still gone to bed throbbing and dripping for him.

If he didn’t have a work emergency, there’s no doubt in my mind that the night would have ended with him buried deep between my sprawled legs. I’d come so hard with just two fingers knuckle deep in my sopping opening.

I can only imagine what the rest of him feels like. If the erection I’d been grinding on all night was any indication…

The lusty thought is a delicious one and I lick my lips involuntarily.

Sebastian’s eyes follow the action and I notice his eyes darken to match the deep color of the sea.

“What are you thinking about, Olivia?”

I could listen to him say my name a thousand times and never grow bored.

“Last night,” I answer truthfully.

His hands still on my thighs, but only for a moment.

“Is that right?”

Sebastian’s voice is deep and sexy. My panties would be drenched if I were wearing any.

“Yes,” I say breathily.

“What was your favorite part?” he asks, teasing me.

The mischievous smirk on his lips matches the twinkle in his eyes.

I turn my gaze upward and pretend to ponder his question.

“Oh, let me see.” My hand reaches up to tap my chin. “I think it was the goodnight kiss.”

When I meet his eyes, I’m shocked to see that they’re even darker than before.

“Get on your stomach,” he commands roughly.

Lost for a moment, I just stare at him until he holds up the bottle.

“I need to get your back, Liv.”

“R-Right,” I stammer, moving to obey his demand.

On my stomach, I want to moan as he works the lotion into my skin. This is feeling more like a massage than anything else and I’m not complaining one bit.

Sebastian reaches my lower back and pauses over my ass. I imagine he’s taking in the barely there daisy dukes that I threw on this morning.

“Nice shorts,” he teases, confirming my suspicions.

“Thanks,” I groan against the chair. My body feels like jelly and I’m not sure I ever want to move from this spot.

He resumes his actions but stops again when he discovers that I’m wearing nothing under the short denims. He swears savagely as his hot palm falls between my thighs.

“Fucking Christ, you’re not going to make this easy on me are you?”

“What are you talking about?” I ask, playing it coy.

My throbbing pussy wants nothing more than to get reacquainted with his thick fingers, but he has other plans.

Abruptly, he stands and I immediately mourn the absence of his touch.

“Come on, let’s go swimming.”

When I come to my senses and sit up, I see that he’s already left the patio and is pulling his shirt over his head.

Dropping it in his wake, he turns back to me and winks.

“Let’s go, slow poke.”

Fucking tease.

CHAPTER EIGHT

SEBASTIAN DOWNS

Once Olivia puts on her swimsuit, we end up spending most of the day in the water, until the waves grow turbulent under the threat of an impending storm.

The sky darkens to a gray color and the wind picks up considerably.

Familiar with the spontaneous summer storms on the island, I dismiss the house staff early so that they can make it home before the downpour.

No sooner than they leave, the sky cracks open and the rain begins to pound against the roof.

After taking showers in two different wings of the house, Olivia and I meet in the kitchen and throw together a simple dinner of spaghetti and garlic bread.

Olivia tears into it with gusto as if it’s a gourmet meal and I discover that watching her eat is fast becoming one of my new favorite things.

She’s licking sauce from her fingertips at this very moment and my cock twitches enviously.

“That was delicious,” she sighs contentedly, pushing her empty plate away from her.

“Are you sure you don’t want any more? I’m sure we could scrape some from the bottom of the pot,” I tease.

Her face is radiant when she laughs and I immediately fall in love with the sound.

“Don’t make fun, I skipped breakfast and I really worked up an appetite with all that swimming!”

“Whatever you say, sweetheart.” I get up to clear the dishes and bend down to steal a kiss.

I have the desire to be in constant contact with her and it’s unsettling considering it’s been less than forty-eight hours since our reunion.

Olivia eagerly reciprocates my kiss, angling her head so that I have full access to her luscious mouth.

Haphazardly, I place the plates back on the table and use my newly liberated hands to pull her up from her chair.

“Sebastian,” she sighs against my lips.

“Olivia,” I volley back without hesitation.

“Please don’t leave me like you did last night. I don’t think I could take it,” she whimpers between kisses.

Holy shit, Olivia King is begging me.

The realization causes my head to swell. My cock follows suit, throbbing and pushing against the crotch of my shorts.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I promise, easily lifting her off the ground.

***

In the bedroom, I lay her on the massive bed and stare down at her as my chest heaves erratically.

“I want to fuck you into next week.” My words come out as a growl as I run my palm up and down her smooth leg.

“Yes, please.” Olivia nods fitfully, letting me know that she means every word.

I’m not sure I can get any harder.

She’s back in those sexy shorts from earlier and as much as I’m enjoying the view, I can’t wait to get her out of them.

Grabbing her ankles, I pull her to the edge of the bed and almost lose it when I see just how dark her barely opened eyes are.

I make quick work of the button on the shorts and pull them down her legs, baring the glistening flesh between her legs completely.

Eagerly, Olivia sits up to remove her halter top.

Amazed, I stare at her small, round tits and the slope of her abdomen before landing on the juncture between her curvy legs.

God damn it. I’m going to come in my pants if I don’t have her soon.

“Your turn,” her sensual voice calls as she gazes at me with fire in her eyes.

Yanking my shirt over my head, I toss it across the room carelessly and then begin working at the buckle on my belt.

The jingling sound is the only thing audible aside from the constant cadence of the falling rain.

When the buckle is loosened, I pushed down my shorts and boxers in one hurried movement.

My cock hits my stomach, leaking pre-cum like a broken faucet. Olivia’s eyes are transfixed, making me more desperate to be inside of her.

“You’re huge,” she comments in a faraway voice and I’m not even sure she meant to say it aloud.

Licking her lips, she finally meets my eyes and the gleam in her jade orbs brings me to my knees.

Literally.

I want to taste her before we go any further.

Situated in front of her, I place a hand on her pelvis and force her to recline against the plush mattress. With one hand on each knee, I spread her legs apart to feast on the beautiful pussy before me.

Last night had been the worst torture. I’d been able to touch her, but I couldn’t see anything or taste her thoroughly. But I plan to make up for that tonight.

I lower my head until my lips are practically grazing her slick folds.

“Pretty pussy,” I whisper lowly, only to be rewarded with a groan as she gyrates her hips trying to close the distance between my mouth and her body.

“Please, Sebastian.”

“Please what?”

It feeds my ego when she begs and I don’t plan on depriving myself of the pleasure any time soon.

“I want your mouth on me. Please.”

The desperation in her tone matches my own and I can’t resist anymore.

Urgently, I bury my head between her legs, my tongue licking greedily and separating her damp folds.

Her back arches off the bed at the contact, a guttural cry ripped from her throat.

My spine tingles at the sound, relishing in the fact that I’m responsible for tearing such a raw reaction out of her.

I continue feasting on her, smearing her juices over my nose and chin as I enjoy every decadent inch of her beautiful, drenched pussy.

It’s like she was created just for me.

“Fuck, Sebastian. Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she whines, lifting off the bed again.

Underneath my hold, Olivia writhes and tries to close her thighs against the sensations rippling through her but she’s no match for my powerful grip. My hands have her spread eagle and vulnerable to my tongue’s brutal attack.

As my tongue continues to probe her tight hole and massage her clit, her movements become less frequent before she stiffens completely and screams my name wildly, bucking against me as she comes hard against my mouth.

A current of juices flow from her opening, coating my insatiable tongue.

Looking up at her as I continue to circle her sensitive clit, I witness the most beautiful fucking expression transform her face as she rides out every intense wave.

Olivia’s breaths are short and shallow as her body surrenders to the intense pleasure. Even though she’s clearly spent, I want to do it all over again.

I’ve never needed to please a woman more in my life.

If I’m not careful, Olivia will become my drug, making it impossible for me to focus on anything until I’ve had my fix.

“I need you to come again for me, baby,” I grumble against her leaking sex, the scent of her arousal hypnotizing me.

This time she reaches down to move my mouth slightly off center.

I kiss her thigh, loathe to break contact for even a second.

“I can’t wait,” she moans, her eyes at half-mast. “I want you inside of me. Now.”

Her quiet command is all it takes for me to rise to my feet and grant her every wish.

CHAPTER NINE

OLIVIA KING

Standing at the side of the bed, Sebastian stares down at me with his eyes heavily hooded and his chin glistening with my juices.

It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen and I start gushing even more under his focused gaze.

Leaning over me, his hand cups my throbbing mound before he inserts two thick fingers, stretching me deliciously.

My head is in the clouds from the sensations and my eyes slide closed as I move my hips to fuck his fingers.

“Open your eyes,” Sebastian demands, his fingers going still inside of me.

I whimper and try to resume the wonderful rhythm but his other hand grips my hip forcefully making further movement impossible.

“Open your eyes, Olivia.” This time his voice is harsher and I don’t think twice about obeying him.

When our eyes meet, he smirks at me and begins pumping his fingers inside of my tight walls again.

“You’re so fucking tight, baby. I have to get you ready for me,” he tells me hoarsely.

A blissful sigh escapes me as my hands trail up my body to cup my breasts. Moaning, I pinch my sensitive nipples and watch his blue eyes darken even more than I thought possible.

“You’re sexy. You know that?”

Another moan is all I manage. The sensations ripping through me are too much.

Tantalizing tingles are running up and down my arched spine as I get closer to yet another orgasm.

The scent of my arousal is in the air and my body is scorching under his masterful touch. Even though my eyes are open, my vision is blurred by pleasure. I feel so full as his fingers twist and turn, hitting the exact right spot over and over again.

“Yes, right there.” I don’t recognize my own voice as I pant for him to keep pleasing me. “Don’t stop. Whatever you do, please don’t stop.”

Sebastian’s fingers are slipping in and out of me with ease now, my pussy coating his fingers with waves of wetness.

“Fuck, I need to be inside of you,” Sebastian groans before his fingers leave me altogether.

I don’t have time to grieve the loss before the thick head of his cock is nudging at my opening.

But he doesn’t push inside just yet.

He moves me so that I’m resting against the pillows.

Sebastian hovers over me, supporting his weight on strong arms.

“Open your mouth for me, baby.”

I easily obey him and am not disappointed when his fingers are inserted into my mouth.

Instantly, I begin sucking at them. Never have I been so turned on by my own taste but I can’t get enough of it in this moment. I lick him dry, not leaving a remnant of my juices anywhere on his fingers.

The whole time he watches me somewhat enviously and I can feel his cock jerking involuntarily against my swollen slit as I put on a show.

Without warning, he leans over me and licks my mouth hungrily. His tongue is lapping at my lips in an attempt to get a taste of what I just experienced.

In the next instant, he thrusts inside of me to the hilt and bites down on my lips fiercely when he’s hit his mark.

The pressure is intoxicating as he fills every inch of me with his long, thick dick.

Dull pricks of pain remind that he just bit me but I don’t care.

I just want more.

“Olivia,” he cries out, still unmoving as he gets acquainted with the snug confines of my pussy.

His head drops down and his lips encircle one of my nipples and it’s my turn to cry out.

It’s too much.

With my hands around his waist, I rock my hips upward and invite him to start moving inside of me.

His teeth graze my nipple deliciously before he finally starts moving and holds my gaze.

Sebastian’s thrusts are hard and slow at first, lulling me into a false sense of security. It feels so good to be this full.

I’ve never been this content to have someone inside of me, but Sebastian is showing me what I’ve been missing.

His pace quickens suddenly and he abandons the slow strokes I’d grown used to. He wrenches apart my thighs so that he has full access to push as hard and far as he wants.

“Do you have any idea how crazy you make me?” he asks with a grunt, his pelvis thrashing into mine as he pounds away at my leaking core.

A torrent of pleasure washes over me at the enchanting, smacking sound.

“This pussy feels so damn good around my cock, baby. So fucking good.”

To drive his point home, he encircles my waist in his ironclad grip and starts drilling me even harder.

I’m having a hard time drawing a breath but it feels so damn good.

Sebastian’s eyes leave mine as he focuses on the sight of his hard cock sliding in and out of me at a maddening pace.

Each stroke is like a potent dose of euphoria coursing through my bloodstream and elevating me higher and higher still.

Oh, my God. I never want this to end.

As if he can read my mind, Sebastian echoes my sentiments.

“I never want to leave your tight pussy. I never want to leave you.” His breaths are ragged as he continues to enjoy the show.

I nod my agreement but I can’t form words as they are lodged in my throat. A desperate moan is all I manage.

A new wave of desire washes over me and I feel myself reaching that inevitable peak. It’s only a matter of time before I fall off the cliff.

The blinding warmth begins swelling in the pit of my belly and radiates out to blanket my entire body.

My legs are quaking as I come violently around his cock, unable to control my violent release.

Screaming his name repeatedly, I arch my back and shove against his abdomen as my orgasm blinds me. Trying to push him away only motivates him to pound harder, drawing out my climax as a new yearning floods me.

Sebastian doesn’t relent, his thrusts are powerful and strong as he claims me possessively.

Then he stills, blue eyes boring into mine as he shudders and I feel his cock swell before hot spurts of semen fill me until I’m running over. He continues to slip in and out of me, spreading his seed up and down my entrance.

The stimulation against my clit makes me want to come all over again, but my body is thoroughly spent.

Sebastian collapses beside me, and wastes no time pulling me into his strong embrace.

With a simple kiss to my forehead, he stares at me in awe.

“Sleep, baby,” he commands, reading the exhaustion on my face.

As soon as my head hits his solid chest, I fall into a peaceful slumber.

CHAPTER TEN

SEBASTIAN DOWNS

Extending my stay on the island hadn’t been a hard decision. One night with Olivia and I was an addict.

After our first night together, I’d promptly canceled my room at the hotel across the island and stayed here.

I enjoyed fucking her thoroughly in every corner of the house. In the solarium while she was supposed to be practicing yoga. In the kitchen when she went to get a drink. In the theater room while we were watching a movie. In the bathroom when she was taking a shower.

We spend our days exploring the beautiful island and our nights fucking like rabbits. It’s heaven on earth, but I know reality will soon burst our bubble.

She makes me insatiable and tomorrow she’s getting on a plane to head back to Tennessee.

“Why don’t you come back to California with me?” I ask that evening.

We’re in the theatre room again, binge watching her favorite show. Olivia is enthralled in the political drama but quickly pivots her head in my direction when the question registers.

“My life isn’t in California,” she states plainly, making eye contact.

Her words annoy me for some strange reason so I follow up with another question.

“What’s holding you back?”

“It’s my home,” Olivia explains. “My life is there. My best friend is there. My job is there. I have to get back to work.”

“Liv, you just won a million dollars. Why the hell are you returning to a shitty CNA job?”

Her face falters, instantly making me regret my inflammatory words. I know she takes pride in her work and that was low.

“I’m sorry we can’t all be billionaire tech geniuses like you, Sebastian. But I make an honest living and I enjoy it.”

Still, I don’t let it go. Even though I know I should.

“It just doesn’t make sense to me.”

“That’s okay,” she says with more patience than I deserve. “But Arnold needs me and I’ve always been a firm believer in finishing what I started.”

I know my eyes are incredulous as I look at her.

“So you’re basically waiting for him to die before you get on with your life? Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

She gives me a sweet smile.

“It’s about much more than that. My patient has dementia and at this point, consistency is vital. I can’t abandon him in the middle of the road. I’d feel awful about it. He needs me and I intend to be there.”

My expression softens as her words sink in. Until she starts talking again.

“Listen, I didn’t come to the island looking for anything serious. And I’m sure you didn’t either. I think the best part of this is that neither of us went in with any expectations.”

I don’t say anything. I just watch her, waiting for her to continue and try to talk herself out of what we have.

“But this just happened. And it’s been amazing. But we both know the real world is calling. You run a huge corporation on the other side of the country. And me? Well I’m happy in Tennessee.”

“Right,” I say releasing a frustrated breath.

“Can you honestly say you’ll even have time for me once we’re back in the States?”

“I’ll make time,” I tell her.

She looks at me quietly and reveals a patient smile. “You think so now. But trust me, you’ll get so busy you’ll forget about me in no time.”

My suspicions grow when she says this and I wonder if she has a distraction lined up to help her forget about me.

“Are you fucking anyone back home?” I ask candidly, not masking the anger in my tone.

Her eyes triple in size but she shakes her head furiously. “Why would you even ask me that? I told you I’m not seeing anyone. I could never share myself with someone here knowing that I have someone waiting for me at home.”

Possessive feelings that I’ve never had to deal with before assail me and I know in that moment that I’ll strangle any man who even dares to come near her.

I need to make myself crystal clear.

“I don’t want you fucking anyone else.”

An emotion I can’t pinpoint flits across her face but she doesn’t voice whatever it is.

What is she thinking?

“I won’t have time to entertain anyone else for a while. I’m going to nursing school, remember?”

“That’s not what I meant,” I retaliate, frowning.

I don’t want her with anyone else. Period. The thought twists my gut in nauseating knots.

Sighing, Olivia regards me with a tired look.

“Why don’t we focus on enjoying the time we have left?”

Her hand grazes my rigid jaw and my body reacts immediately even though I maintain a cool demeanor.

“Things are good now because we’ve been left alone. Outside forces haven’t been a huge factor yet,” she speaks rationally.

My mood darkens despite her logic.

She doesn’t want me for more than sex because of my status. In high school I didn’t stand a chance in hell with her because of my social circle and now she’s telling me the same thing ten years later. Only with a different twist.

Whatever I do, it seems like I can’t win.

Gritting my teeth, I decide this is bullshit.

From that point on, every time Olivia tries to engage me in conversation, I keep my answers short and simple.

When I see confusion flicker on her face, I avert my eyes to ease the guilt.

Even in my dark mood, I’m hard as a rock being this close to her.

While the credits roll on the episode we’re watching, Olivia rises and I think she’s going to leave the room to let me brood in solitude.

Instead, she steps in front of me, filling the space between my sprawled legs.

Without a word, she bites her plump bottom lip.

And right before my eyes, she sinks to her knees with lust clouding her jade eyes.

I watch her from underneath heavily lidded eyes as she expertly unbuttons my shorts and tugs at the waist telling me without words that she needs me to move so that she can remove them completely.

She pulls down my boxers and shorts together, her eyes lighting up when she sees my hard dick spring free.

Wrapping her palms around my shaft lovingly, she only has eyes for that part of me.

“You’re so thick,” she says in awe, her hands beginning to move up and down.

She rises up on her knees and opens her mouth wide. When her tongue is wrapped around the swollen tip, I swear as my eyes roll back.

One thing this trip has taught me is that Olivia can work wonders with her tongue. Her mouth is fucking incredible.

Her head moves up and down slowly, coating my length with her saliva. Once I’m lubricated, she moans against my cock and starts sucking me greedily.

Soft hands work the base, gripping me skillfully and rotating while her head bobs up and down sending shockwaves of pleasure through my entire body.

Tangling my hands in her tresses, my hips begin rising to thrust myself against the back of her throat.

She doesn’t even gag, just moans and relaxes her jaw to give me more leeway.

After a while, she pulls back and releases my cock from her mouth, hands still working up and down the length.

“I get so wet when I have you in my mouth. It’s so sexy feeling how hard you get for me, Sebastian.”

I swear I nearly come right then.

Looking up at me with adoring eyes, I see that she means every word.

That dirty mouth of hers betrays her innocent, small-town girl demeanor and I’m in fucking heaven.

Olivia King is absolute perfection.

The best of both worlds.

She’s out of her mind if she thinks I’ll ever be able to forget about her.

Impossible.

Whether she believes it or not, she’s wormed her way into a deep part of my soul and I know that’s where she’ll reside forever.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

OLIVIA KING

“Okay, Arnold. On the count of three, we’re going to get you up and in the chair.”

My patient just continues to stare at me wide eyed and confused. Not for the first time, guilt assaults me for leaving him for a full week.

In my absence, Gavin hired a temporary person to come in and give him his meals and daily medications but it just wasn’t the same.

At this stage in Arnold’s dementia, he needs as much consistency as possible and I’d ripped that away from him. I’d been back for three days already and he still looked at me like I was a stranger off the street.

Getting him settled in his favorite chair, I release an exasperated sigh and study him for a moment.

Nothing about this job is easy but I enjoy it all the same. There’s a soft spot in my heart where only Arnold resides.

On his good days, he charms me with stories of his time in the army and his life with his one true love, Claire. She’d died a decade ago and from what Gavin tells me, his dad had never been the same.

Handing over the TV remote, I exit the living room and head back to the kitchen, intent on cleaning up the mess I made in the process of making lunch.

In an effort to brighten his day, I’d made Arnold’s all-time favorite meal: baked pork chops and roasted vegetables over a bed of rice.

Stepping into the kitchen, I’m shocked to see Arnold’s son Gavin standing at the counter sipping from a bottle of water.

He’s never home in the middle of the day, usually preferring long hours at the office so that he doesn’t have to face his sick father.

I can’t imagine how hard it must be watching a loved one deteriorate before your eyes.

With an easy smile, I greet him.

“Oh, hey Gavin. I didn’t expect to see you for a few hours. How’s it going?” I ask in a friendly tone.

An imperceptible expression darkens his boyish features. He’s at least twenty years my senior but doesn’t look a day over thirty-five.

Gavin is a man of very few words but he’s always been a pretty fair boss.

“You’re looking tanned and well rested. Where did you run off to?” he asks as I begin clearing dirty pans from the countertops.

Thrown off by his question, I glance over my shoulder and answer him.

“I was in Turks and Caicos, remember?”

He makes a noncommittal sound in his throat but says nothing else.

Rinsing dishes in preparation for the dishwasher, I shrug off his weird mood.

“Were you there alone?”

How’s that any of your business? I want to ask, but I refrain.

Instead, I shake my head. “No, there was one other person with me.”

There’s no way in hell I’m telling him that the person with me was Sebastian.

“Olivia, when I hired you, you told me you weren’t involved with anyone. It’s part of the reason I gave you the job so quickly. I knew your time would be free to give my father the around-the-clock attention he needs.”

“I know that,” I say, trying not to sound defensive.

What the hell has gotten into him?

“I just want make sure that nothing has changed.”

Swallowing an awkward lump in my throat, I maintain my professionalism and carefully choose my next words.

“You don’t have anything to worry about, Gavin. I’m just as dedicated to taking care of Arnold now as I was the day you hired me.”

“Good, I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

Without another word, he backs out of the kitchen and heads down the hallway to his room.

That was weird.

***

Several hours later, Arnold is tucked in for the night and I’m in my bedroom a couple doors down.

Wildly energetic despite the long day and late hour, I decide to pop in a Zumba DVD and work off some of my restless energy.

Although I’d much rather be engaged in some type of sensuous activity with Sebastian.

After seven days of constant contact, settling back into my life in Tennessee had been a lot harder than I expected.

Our routine on the island came so naturally that it was traumatizing when it was snatched away.

Leaving Sebastian on that private jet to return to California was gut wrenching. I’m not sure how I got so attached in such a short period of time, but the moment he was out of my sight my vision blurred with tears.

Saying goodbye wasn’t supposed to be that hard.

Like I told Sebastian that night in the theatre room, I wasn’t looking for more than a few days of fun and some great sex. But he’d given me so much more.

The man is the best lover I’ve ever had. So attentive and unselfish every time we were intimate. I’d never felt wilder or more free than when I was with him.

Beyond the sex, he also proved to be one of a kind. His charming sense of humor and his genuine interest in everything I have to say makes him so enticing. He’s aggressive without being brutish and he’s wildly intelligent without being a know-it-all.

I miss him like crazy.

This wasn’t a part of the plan.

So far today, I haven’t heard from him and I figure he must be busy. Just as I’d predicted he would be.

Sweating from my impromptu workout, I’m about to start song number four when my phone rings from the nightstand across the room.

Pouncing for it, I snatch it up in seconds, grinning when I read Sebastian’s name.

Still panting from the cardio, I don’t bother masking my excitement when I answer on the second ring.

“Hi, Sebastian.”

There’s a ton of ruckus in his background before I hear a door shut, blocking out the noise.

A heavy sigh precedes his words. “Olivia. Baby, how are you?”

Melting at his choice of words, I savor the sound of his voice for a moment before answering.

“I’m good, how are you?”

“I’ve been better,” he grumbles shortly.

Even though his frustration isn’t aimed at me, I frown wondering what happened to sour his mood.

“Is everything all right?”

Sebastian’s answer is vague. “It will be. Hey, you sound out of breath. What are you up to?” he asks suspiciously.

“Oh, I was just working out. Had a lot of extra energy to burn.”

Expecting him to follow up with a sexy innuendo about how I could better expend the energy, I’m disappointed when he just says, “Oh yeah?”

He sounds distracted and extremely tense. I can hear it over the line despite the thousands of miles separating us.

I’d originally planned to fill him in on my tense encounter with Gavin, but now I reconsider.

He clearly has enough on his plate right now and I won’t add my petty dilemma to the mix.

“Listen, baby. I have some bad news,” he says lowly. “I have to postpone my trip to Tennessee until further notice. Something’s come up with the app and I can’t sneak away until it’s handled. We haven’t really nailed down an end date so there’s no telling.”

“Oh,” is all I manage, my mood immediately deflating.

I was really looking forward to seeing him in a few days. But I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. He’s the CEO of a thriving company and canceled plans were bound to happen.

I just hadn’t counted on it being so soon.

Reality is a bitch.

“Liv, I’m so sorry.”

Biting my lip, I tell him, “Me, too.”

“I’ll make this up to you. I promise,” he swears.

“Don’t apologize. It’s fine,” I say with a lot more understanding than I feel.

We chat for a few moments longer until he has to rush off to another meeting.

Suddenly drained and no longer interested in my workout, I shut off the TV and head for the bathroom.

After my shower, I curl up with some wine and text Winnie. Someone has to hear about my strange confrontation with Gavin today. Since it can’t be Sebastian, she’s the lucky winner.

CHAPTER TWELVE

SEBASTIAN DOWNS

Someone hacked the site.

Every day there’s at least one hacking attempt. I pride myself on having some of the best cyber security in the industry. But this time someone got through the defenses.

I’d already been on edge since returning to California and this just pushed me over the fucking edge.

Hearing Olivia’s voice had been a temporary salve until one of the vice presidents banged on my door, demanding my presence back in the boardroom.

Grudgingly, I’d hung up with Olivia. Walking back into the boardroom, the weight on my shoulders has nothing to do with the chaos at work. The disappointment she’d tried to hide in her voice makes me feel like shit. Not even three days have passed and I am already proving her point by being unavailable.

Plopping down in the chair at the front of the table, I survey my team of executives and hope they have some good news for me.

If not, I may just combust.

In spite of our data being secured by the most thorough encryption measures, some idiot had still been able to hack into the servers and wipe out several features of the app. The desktop version had crashed completely, causing upset customers to flood our phone lines with frustrated complaints and outright angry demands.

Eighteen long hours had passed since the problem was discovered and I’ve been right here the whole time, only stepping away from the mayhem to use the restroom.

Even then, someone usually follows me inside, briefing me on the latest developments.

It’s as if the universe had wanted to humble me after my lavish vacation away from my usual responsibilities.

But, God, I miss Olivia.

After having her within my reach twenty-four seven, having her thousands of miles away is a tough pill to swallow.

With over a decade of experience in the tech field, I’m no stranger to the turmoil that can erupt at a moment’s notice. Behind the scenes, things go wrong a lot more than people realize.

However, I can handle it because in this field you have no choice. You either roll with the punches or get knocked out.

My skin is a lot tougher for it.

What I’m not so adept at handling is this deep-rooted yearning for a woman who effortlessly knocked me off my feet.

Call me a sap, but I miss everything about her.

Everything I liked about her in high school has only been amplified in adulthood.

She’s still sweet and fun-loving. Patient and loyal to a fault. Add all those things to the fact that she’s an incredible lover and you can see why I’m a little flustered here.

“What do you think, Bash?” Malakai asks from my right side.

When I look at him, he’s staring at me intently. I have no fucking idea what he just said.

Olivia is dominating my thoughts to the point of distraction.

Not a good sign.

Snap out of it, you have a company to run and people counting on you.

“Run that by me again,” I say focusing my tired gaze on him.

***

Hours later, I’m alone in the same room rewriting the code for the site.

I’d felt bad and released my team for a brief recess so that they could sleep and see their families before returning in a few hours.

It’s nearing five which means Olivia has already started her day in Tennessee.

Needing to hear her voice, no matter how brief, I come to a stopping point and grab my phone.

Because I’d set it to “Do Not Disturb,” I see a ton of missed calls and text messages. Swiping past them, I find Olivia’s name and press “call.”

“Hello?” she answers distractedly on the third ring. I can tell she didn’t look at the screen before answering.

Running a hand over my two-day stubble, I exhale as I let her voice soothe me.

“Good morning, sweetheart.”

There’s a short pause as she pieces things together, then her voice sounds excited.

“Sebastian, it’s not even seven and I know you’re two hours behind. So, what on earth are you doing awake at this ungodly hour?”

Leaning back in my chair, a slow grin forms on my face when I hear her mild southern twang. It only shines through when she’s excited and right now she’s apparently excited to speak to me.

I smile harder.

It’s my first real smile in days and of course she’s the one to provide it.

Seriously, it makes no sense for me to be this happy about talking to another human.

“Just wanted to hear your voice,” I answer truthfully, my words languid thanks to a severe lack of sleep.

On the other end, Olivia releases a contented sigh.

“Someone certainly has a way with words,” she giggles coyly. “You should never make a lady blush before ten in the morning.”

“Trust me, Liv. If it were up to me, I’d have you blushing from sunup to sundown each and every day. If you’d let me,” I add pointedly.

Enthralled in our banter, I slouch down further in my seat.

Olivia clears her throat at this comment and I smile victoriously.

I’d rattled her cage.

“So, what are you up to?” she asks, promptly changing the subject.

Her evasiveness is not lost on me, but I don’t dwell on it since I’m already pressed for time.

“Nothing interesting,” I tell her looking at my laptop. “I’d much rather hear what’s new with you. We got rushed off the phone last night and you didn’t tell me about your day.”

“My day was pretty dull,” her tone echoes her sentiment. Then there’s a slight pause. “Oh! I finished my application to nursing school,” she finishes with much more enthusiasm.

I can’t help but be excited for her. Even if I do selfishly want her to attend a school on the west coast.

“Really? That’s great news, Liv. How long before you hear back from them?”

“Four to six weeks,” she supplies anxiously. “Wish me luck.”

“I will, not that you need it,” I say confidently. “Any school would be lucky to have you.”

She’s waited so long to pursue this dream and I’m happy that she’s finally able to go for it.

“Okay, you can stop making me blush anytime now.”

We chat for a while longer until I see Malakai staring at me through the glass door. Olivia and I disconnect just as he comes barging in.

“I hope that goofy ass grin means you have good news for me.”

My business partner looks refreshed and ready to go after his brief trip home. Enviously, I stare at his clean-shaven jaw and fresh attire.

I should probably take a break soon. Not because I’m tired but because I can’t imagine what I smell like after working almost two days straight.

“The site is back up and running in thirteen states on the east coast, but I still haven’t had much luck with the rest,” I say filling him in.

“Hey, progress is progress,” he says, settling in to get to work beside me.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

OLIVIA KING

“Damn, girl. You look hot!” Winnie shouts when I walk into the restaurant.

I don’t even bother being embarrassed by her outburst because this is totally the norm for her and part of the reason why I love her dearly.

We hug before claiming our seats at the table for two.

“Thanks,” I say acknowledging her compliment. “You don’t look too shabby yourself. I see you finally decided to go with the bangs. Fabulous choice.”

“Why, thank you,” she says, batting her lashes. “Thank you very much.”

“God, I missed your crazy ass. Sorry it took so long to meet up. Work has been a little demanding since I got back.”

Opening her menu, Winnie stares at me over the top of it. “How’s that going by the way? Has Gavin gone back to normal?”

“Not really,” I share with a sigh. “He’s been a bit overbearing all week and I can’t figure out why. He was totally cool with me going on the trip. But since I’ve returned, he’s been on my ass about every little thing.”

Winnie narrows her pretty gray eyes at this tidbit of information.

“I’ll kick his ass,” she volunteers seriously.

And I know she means it.

Winnie doesn’t let anything come from her lips unless she can back it up. Another reason I love her to pieces.

Shaking my head, I hold up a hand in objection. “That won’t be necessary.”

She doesn’t look convinced. “Have you told Sebastian about it?”

Just hearing his name sends my heart fluttering.

“No, something happened at his job. I didn’t want to bother him. Besides, it’s nothing. Trust me.”

“You wouldn’t be bothering him, Olivia. I’m sure he wants nothing more than for you to be open with him.”

Her words put me on edge and I’m not sure why.

“How’s that going?” Winnie asks candidly.

“Fine,” I say casually.

“Fine?” my friend echoes with an incredulous expression. “You know I’m going to need more than that. I don’t know why I was ever worried about you. I sent you to find an island fling and you ended up screwing the CEO all week!”

A few startled guests from nearby tables look in our direction and I hide my face behind the giant menu. Shoulders shaking with laughter, I’m not embarrassed one bit, just thoroughly tickled.

“He sure did a number on you. In just one week, you’re looking ten years younger and sporting a healthy glow from all that vitamin D, if you catch my drift.”

Oh, I caught it all right.

Winnie sips from her water glass and eyes me studiously.

“When do you see him again?”

The smile leaves my face. “I have no idea. Like I said, things are hectic for him right now. He had to cancel his trip to visit me.”

“So why don’t you just go see him?” she asks not seeing the problem. “You can certainly afford it these days.”

“I have Arnold to consider,” I tell her. “I already left him for one week and he didn’t do too well with the change. Besides, Gavin’s already riding my ass enough as it is.”

She harrumphs, shaking her head in exasperation.

Like Sebastian, she doesn’t understand my need to stick around and see this thing through with Arnold. But she isn’t pushing me on it and for that I’m thankful.

“How does it feel being with the sexiest tech nerd in the country?” she asks playfully.

When I blush a deep shade of red, her excitement only heightens.

“I can’t wait to meet him! I haven’t seen you this bright eyed and blushing since whatshisname…” she adds flippantly referring to my ex, Jordan.

“Let’s not get ahead ourselves. We were only together for a week on the island. Now that we’re back in the real world, I don’t think he’s going to have as much time for me as he thinks. It was unrealistic to think so in the first place. But whatever we had, it was nice while it lasted.”

I know I’m speaking in the past tense, but I can’t help it. I feel like it’s only a matter of time before Sebastian loses interest. Not intentionally, of course. But work will stay hectic and the phone calls will taper off. Or maybe a woman in California will prove to be a more convenient option for him.

The thought makes me sick with jealousy but I have to be realistic.

“Oh, please. He’ll be back if he knows what’s good for him. I saw the way he was looking at you in those pictures,” she says referencing the few photos paparazzi snapped while we were out exploring the island.

She’d unearthed a ton of pictures from the web and sent them to me via text.

The photos were pretty damn dreamy, I must admit. Sebastian looked at me like I was some precious treasure he never wanted to let out of his sight. I’d gasped the first time I saw them.

And I was confronted with the fact that I was teetering very close to falling in love with him. Because my smile in those pictures couldn’t be ignored either. Instead of looking like a woman enjoying a hot island fling, I had looked blissfully head over heels. My heart was in my eyes when I looked at him.

“He’ll be back. Mark my words. A man always makes time for what’s important in his life. And from the looks of those photos, you have nothing to worry about.”

Finally deciding on what to eat, I place my menu at the center of the table and mull over her words.

***

In bed that night, I’m reading a romance novel on my tablet when a message alert sounds on my phone.

Are you awake?

Sebastian.

I sit up abruptly and the tablet hits the pillow, forgotten in a second.

Yes, what’s up?

His response is almost instant.

I need to be inside of you.

Cheeks flushed, a dull throb starts ticking at my center. I try to think of an appropriate response to what he’s just told me but I’m speechless.

Then another text comes through.

Come outside, Olivia.

Eyes wide, I stare at the message in a daze before I burst into action.

Stuffing my feet into a pair of old flip flops, I don’t even throw on a robe before I’m dashing out of the house frantically.

The screen door rattles noisily in my wake as I clamber down the front steps.

There, leaning against a Jeep in the front yard, is Sebastian.

I break out at a full-on run before I can stop myself. He catches me and lifts me easily into his arms.

“Hi,” he whispers touching his forehead to mine.

Sebastian’s breath grazes my cheek when he speaks and I take in the sexy dark stubble covering his jaw.

I can’t believe he’s here.

“Oh, my God. Sebastian, what are you doing here?” I ask breathlessly.

“I missed you,” he answers simply. As if it’s the most common thing in the world to pop up unannounced when we live almost two-thousand miles apart.

“This is insane.” My breath is still coming in short pants as I study his face, touching him all over to make sure he’s really here.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” I voice aloud this time.

“Nothing could keep me away. I need you, Olivia.”

An emotion I can’t name floods me when he says this.

I just stare at him in awe before he speaks again.

“Now, tell me you missed me too,” he demands before crushing my lips with his own.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

SEBASTIAN DOWNS

Our kiss is hard and deep as our tongues hungrily fight for dominance over the other.

Even if she doesn’t say it with words, her greedy kiss is evidence enough that she missed me.

My cock swells, acknowledging her presence.

Two long weeks have passed since our last contact and my body has been none too pleased with the situation.

I turn with her in my arms, and press her up against the passenger door of the Jeep I’d rented.

Moaning, her hands are touching me everywhere as if she can’t decide on one resting place.

It drives me wild and I try to kiss her even deeper.

Nipping at her lips, my hands rub up and down at her thighs which are exposed by the skimpy pajama shorts she’s wearing.

Only when the screen door slams and a throat clears do we stop.

Startled, Olivia squirms until I let her down and then she walks around me to greet our intruder.

“Oh, hi Gavin. Did we wake you? I’m so sorry,” she apologizes making me frown.

She sounds scared of his reaction and I’m instantly on edge.

Finally turning to face him, I get a glimpse of a dark-haired guy wearing a robe and black specs.

The expression on his face is peeved until he gets a look at me. Then, outright anger settles over his features.

Dick.

“It’s fine,” he says although his voice suggests anything but. “I just wanted to make sure you were all right. I heard running before the door opened and I was worried.”

He’s speaking to Olivia, but the whole time his eyes never leave me. I just stare back, my jaw clenched in ire.

Something about this guy rubs me the wrong way. Why had Olivia never mentioned that her boss was a prick?

“Uh, Gavin, this is Sebastian. Sebastian, this is my boss, Gavin.”

Olivia makes the awkward introduction but I stay rooted at the spot and silent.

Gavin nods at me wordlessly.

“Sorry again about the noise—”

I interrupt, irritated that she keeps apologizing to this dickhead.

“If it’s all right with you, Gavin, Olivia will be back first thing in the morning.”

He looks floored by my boldness but nods anyway. Then he turns and heads back into the house.

“Great, let’s go, baby,” I gently tug Olivia back to the car and open the passenger door.

Instinctively, I lean in to pull the seatbelt over her. I’m not sure why I always feel the need to do this, but I do.

As I fasten the restraint, she points out, “I don’t have any of my things or a change of clothes, Sebastian.”

Kissing her swiftly on the lips, I tell her, “Trust me, you won’t be needing them.”

***

In my hotel room, our limbs are tangled as we grope each other frantically. My hands are working furiously to undress her as my mouth devours her lips before moving down to sample her neck.

When she’s completely naked, I back her up against the dresser, which is waist level for her.

The longing clouding her eyes is nearly enough to make me come in my pants. She drives me insane.

“I’m going to fuck you hard against this dresser,” I promise darkly, my hands tangled in her thick hair.

Hungrily, I kiss her, pulling her flush against the front of my body.

“Sebastian, I need you,” she breathes urgently.

She doesn’t have to utter another word before I’m unfastening my belt buckle and pushing my pants down. Olivia pulls my shirt over my head to speed up the process.

Standing bared before her, my need to be inside of her intensifies tenfold.

“Turn around,” I demand hoarsely.

Without hesitation, she obeys me and braces her small hands against the edge of the dresser. My own hands reach out to grab her tiny waist, aggressively yanking her back to my engorged cock.

The head grazes her round ass, spreading pre-cum over her velvety skin.

Thrusting her hips backward, she tries to increase the friction.

Dropping one hand from her waist, I finger her slick opening, happy to find that she’s primed and ready for me.

“God, I missed you.” I pull my fingers free, reaching around to give Olivia a taste of her own arousal.

The intoxicating scent blankets the air around us, increasing my yearning.

Her hot tongue licks up every drop as she grinds into me again, anxious for me to take her.

I don’t keep her waiting long. Not that I would ever want to.

Positioning my dick at her glistening entrance, I slip inside with one hard thrust causing a pleasurable moan to leave Olivia’s lips.

Her snug walls constrict around my cock, holding me captive. I am her willing prisoner.

The dampness of her arousal surrounds my length, making my eyes roll back.

I’ve never once worn a condom with her and I don’t think I could ever start. I’m addicted to the way her pussy feels when I’m buried deep inside, her tight body yielding to every vicious thrust.

“Yes,” she draws out the word. “You feel so good, Sebastian. Please fuck me.”

That’s all I need to hear.

Greedily, I start moving inside of her, my strokes powerful. My pelvis smacks against the supple flesh of her ass, the noise mingling with the sound of Olivia’s lustful moans.

Passion overpowers me as I fuck her hard and fast, torrents of pleasure propelling me forward.

If I’m not careful, I’ll be coming in seconds.

Gradually slowing my thrusts, I shudder as desire runs rampant through my body and travels up my sweat slicked spine.

“I’m addicted to you, Olivia.”

Insatiable, I will never get enough of her.

Hands groping her round ass cheeks, I drop my gaze and watch as her pussy coats my length in a flood of her sweet juices.

Suddenly she stills and her hands flail behind her madly, trying to bring me closer as she begins shaking uncontrollably.

“You’re coming for me, aren’t you, baby?” I ask while she slumps forward with a barely audible whimper, succumbing to the mounting pleasure wracking her small frame.

“That’s right baby. Come all over my cock. I want it all,” I egg her on.

Reclaiming my previous pace, I slam into her as she continues to shudder and gasp for air.

Gathering a handful of her hair, I tug slightly as my own release starts crashing into me.

Unable to restrain myself, I shout her name as my hips thrust into her fervently. She’s stretched to the limit as my cock surges ready to explode inside of her.

Seconds later, I’m slumped against her back riding out the final waves of my climax.

“Kiss me,” I demand once we both catch our breath.

I take a step back and allow my softening erection to slip out of her so that she can turn and oblige me.

When Olivia turns around, her green eyes are hazy with complete satisfaction and nothing pleases me more than knowing I’m the one who put that look on her face.

Kissing me hard, Olivia fondles my cock. Her palm grips me firmly, her fingers smearing the sticky residue of our mixed arousal.

“That was amazing,” she pauses to kiss me. “But this time I want to ride you.”

In a matter of seconds, I’m hard again.

“I think we can make that happen.”

Her smile is inviting as she walks over to the chair in the corner of the suite and waits for me to join her.

I think I might love this woman.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

SEBASTIAN DOWNS

“So tell me about this dickhead boss of yours,” I request, winding a loose strand of Olivia’s hair around my finger as she lays on my chest.

“Gavin’s not so bad,” she defends him. “He’s just been really on edge since I got back. His dad didn’t do too well while I was gone and I feel really guilty about that.”

“Olivia,” I release a frustrated breath. “When are you going to realize you’re too forgiving? He’s a dick and I got that from a two-minute interaction.”

“I’m sure it’ll blow over soon. He’s upset, that’s all.”

“What the hell for?” My anger is rising by the second. I hated the way he had interrupted us like she owed him an explanation. “Are you supposed to apologize for taking a vacation?”

“It’s complicated,” Olivia claims, sitting up and depriving me of the warmth of her body. “Can we change the subject?”

The frown marring her features is a foreign sight for me and I want nothing more than to erase it, so I oblige her.

“How long are you in town?” she wants to know, her eyes scanning the suite I’d reserved at the last minute. I watch as her eyes land on each piece of furniture before refocusing on my face.

“Just for tonight. I have to go in a couple hours, actually.”

Olivia’s eyes double in size before she speaks again.

“So you flew across the country for a few hours of sex? Wow, that’s an expensive booty call,” she murmurs, whistling through her teeth.

Even though I know she’s kidding, the comment rubs me the wrong way.

“Don’t ever refer to yourself as a booty call in my presence. Do you understand?” My tone is a lot colder than I intend and she clams up immediately.

Softening my approach, I reach out to grasp her chin between my thumb and forefinger.

Eyes cast down, Olivia avoids my gaze for as long as she can before looking up. “Listen to me. I don’t know why you’re so hesitant to call this what it is, but I’m all in, baby. You are more than casual sex, Olivia. You are everything. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, you’re never too far from my thoughts. This isn’t something I’m doing for the hell of it or until I get bored. I want us for the long haul and I’m not going to stop showing you that, no matter how hard you fight it.”

Green eyes shining and a ghost of a smile on her lips, she looks at me as if she doesn’t believe a word I’ve said. But she nods eventually and I guess that’s all I can ask for in the moment.

I’m not sure who destroyed her trust in the past but it’s infuriating to watch her downplay her role in my life because of it. Given the chance, I’d strangle the asshole who broke her heart.

“I wish you didn’t have to go,” Olivia pouts. She pokes out her bottom lip and everything. She’s fucking adorable.

“You could always come with me,” I tell her with a smirk.

I already know the answer but I have to give a shot.

Can’t blame a guy for trying, right?

***

Back in the air, I run an exhausted hand through my hair as my phone vibrates non-stop against my leg.

Aware that I have to face the music at some point, my eyes scan through a long list of missed calls and message notifications. One name in particular catches my eye as my thumb lazily flicks the screen and I scroll back up to see it.

Maya Levi.

The ex who dumped me because a wealthier NBA star had suddenly become available. We had a brief fling last spring so, needless to say, I wasn’t too heartbroken when she decided to break things off.

What we shared was purely physical and superficial. I provided the expensive handbags and she provided a late night pick-me-up to alleviate the stress of my day. It had been fun but as I said, I wasn’t crushed when she dropped me like a bad habit.

It’s still weird that she’s randomly contacting me.

What the hell does she want?

The answer to that question sure as hell isn’t something I’m going to focus my energy on tonight. She no longer has any priority in my life and I don’t understand why she would even attempt to reconnect after months of radio silence.

Besides, I’m still floating after my time with Olivia. There’s no way I’m going to fuck up this feeling by reaching out to someone from my past.

A smile takes over my face when I finally resume scrolling and glimpse a voicemail from my mom.

“Sebastian, this is your mother,” she introduces herself cheerfully, still not privy to the wonders of modern technology and caller ID.

Chuckling softly, I listen as she carries on.

“Your picture popped up when I was checking my email this afternoon and you were with this beautiful blonde young lady. The caption called her your new girlfriend. Now, I know you tell me not to believe what I see online, but is that true? She’s cute, Sebastian. You know, she reminds me an awfully lot of that Olivia girl you use to crush on in high school. You were smitten with that girl,” she laughs at the memory. “I remember you even cut out her yearbook picture and — ah, well you remember how this story goes. Anyway, I just wanted to touch base. Hope to hear from you soon, sweetie. Sure do hope to get a visit one of these days, Mr. Big Shot,” she finishes jokingly.

As the playback ends, I press “save” with a shake of my head.

That woman can talk. Especially when it comes to my personal life. She knows no bounds.

It’s so typical that she would miss the major news headlines which clearly named Olivia as the winner of the sweepstakes. But instead, she’d picked right up on something petty a gossip rag had no doubt posted online as clickbait.

Though I love the lady dearly I’m not calling her back to discuss this over the phone. It’ll just have to wait for the visit I have planned on Sunday.

Despite my Tennessee roots, I don’t visit often because my mother moved to California years ago. One of my first big purchases had been her house in Calabasas. After my father passed suddenly from a heart attack, she saw no reason to remain in Tennessee so far from her only child.

Relaxing into my chair, I settle in for the long flight. Thoughts of Olivia and my mom dance around in my head.

If I play my cards right, I’ll be bringing Olivia home to meet my mom sooner than later.

That’s my final thought before sleep claims me.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

OLIVIA KING

A week has passed since Sebastian’s surprise visit and I still can’t wipe the dreamy smirk off my face.

Because it was so brief, it feels like something I dreamed up in my overactive imagination.

I still can’t believe he’d dropped everything only to be with me for a few hours. No one has ever made a gesture quite that big for me before. Not that I usually date men wealthy enough to pull such a stunt. But still, you catch my drift. It’s the thought behind it that counts which is why I can’t stop grinning like a fool.

Currently, I’m in the kitchen cleaning up Arnold’s breakfast. We’re going to do some exercises together once I finish tidying. It’s a part of our morning routine.

“Your smile is pretty bright considering it’s not even seven,” a male voice calls from the entrance of the room.

I know it’s Gavin so I don’t even bother looking up. Gathering plates and a glass from the table, I mosey over to the sink and throw a greeting over my shoulder.

“Hi, Gavin. How are you this morning?” I ask politely.

It’s a Saturday so he has the day off. His mood has improved only marginally since our tense encounter and Sebastian’s pop-up visit last week hadn’t helped at all.

“When you’re done in here, come to my office. We need to have a word.”

Frowning, I turn to face him now.

“What about your father’s exercises? You know I like to maintain a routine.”

Gavin shrugs flippantly. “The exercises can wait. I’ll be expecting you,” he says turning to leave.

Somewhat peeved, I place the dishes into the dishwasher and wipe down the table and countertops. After popping my head into the living room to tell Arnold I’m coming shortly, I journey to the back of the house to meet Gavin as he requested.

“Have a seat, Olivia,” he commands with his gaze focused on the chair across from him.

“What’s going on, Gavin?”

Eyes trained on me, he starts speaking.

“I wanted to tell you how much my father and I love having you here.”

Praise? From him? Given the last month or so, I definitely hadn’t been expecting that.

“I love being here. You know I have a soft spot for Arnold and I enjoy taking care of him,” I tell him.

“Yeah,” he nods slowly before looking at me.

What is this about? I can’t stop the suspicious thoughts flitting through my head because something about this just feels off.

“You’re pretty special,” he remarks, meeting my eyes. Something in his look sets off my internal alarm bells.

Standing, I try to bow out gracefully, “If it’s all right with you, it’s time for your father’s exercises and I hate to keep him waiting long.”

“Not so fast,” he says practically sprinting around his desk to stand next to me. “There’s something else I wanted to discuss.”

I gulp audibly, afraid of what it will be.

“Such as?”

Please don’t be a creep, please don’t be a creep.

Chanting that repeatedly in my head doesn’t change the wary feeling rising in my gut.

“Watching you with my father has made me realize just how special you are. To the both of us,” he says significantly.

No, no, no.

“It’s no secret that you’re attractive but your patience and kindness with him makes me crave you even more.”

He did NOT just say that!

“Gavin, please don’t do this.”

“It’s time you know how I feel.” He leans in to me. “I want you, Olivia.”

Taking two steps back, my head is shaking furiously. “I have to go, Gavin.”

In the blink of an eye, his back is flush against the door blocking my escape.

“No. You don’t.”

A chill runs up my spine at his sinister tone.

“Let me out of here right now, Gavin.” My voice is shaking, but only because I’m pissed.

“What? You don’t want me because I’m not a billionaire like that dick who showed up in the middle of the night?”

“Gavin, move out of my way.”

His other words aren’t even worth a response.

“No,” he taunts, reaching out to grab my wrist. “I want my turn with you.”

Sick to my stomach, I try to yank my arm from his grasp but he only tightens his hold.

“Gavin, don’t do this. Don’t be this guy,” I warn, still wriggling my wrist and trying to get free of his tight hold.

“You’re so damn beautiful, Olivia. Initially, I was okay watching you from a distance because it was best for my father’s care if things didn’t get too messy between us. However, now I want more. The thought of you with anyone else makes my blood boil and I want you to myself,” he says possessively, pulling me in closer to him.

“Let me go,” I demand hotly. Anger is the only emotion I feel right now and it’s tinting my vision with streaks of red.

“No,” he laughs darkly. “I told you, I want my turn.”

When Gavin dips his head to kiss me, I lose it.

With a swift kick to his groin and a right hook to his jaw with my free hand, I disentangle myself as he falls to the floor.

Seizing the freedom in the moment, I pull the door open and take off down the hallway to my room.

Pulse pounding in my ears, my fingers grab my phone from the nightstand. With shaky fingers, I key in the passcode just as Gavin appears in the doorway.

“Come near me and I swear to God, I’m calling the cops.”

“You think you’re so smart,” he leers, watching me from his post at the door.

“Gavin, why are you doing this? Don’t you care about your father? That’s the only reason I’m here and I thought I made that crystal clear.”

Gavin tilts his head at my statement before shaking it.

“Things change, Olivia. The same way you swore up and down you were single when I hired you. And now you’re suddenly flying to exotic islands for vacations and sneaking off in the middle of the night to fuck some guy. I decided that I want my turn, too. I’ve been patient enough,” he snarls at me.

“You disgust me,” I say with enough venom in my voice to scare even me.

“That may be the case but you’ll do it if you care about my father as much as you say.”

My antenna sticks straight up when he says that. What the hell does he mean by that?

“Because if you don’t give in, you’re fired and I know you don’t want to disappoint the old man, isn’t that right?” he asks, his voice taking on a mocking tone.

“Why are you doing this?”

None of it makes sense. Before my trip, he’d never so much as acknowledged me beyond saying “hi” and “bye.” Now he wants me to believe he’s just been “waiting his turn”?

The whole thing makes me want to vomit.

“I’m not sleeping with you,” I tell him. “But I’m not going to abandon your father.”

“Tread lightly, Olivia. A lot is on the line here. Before you say no, make sure you’re okay with failing my father in the process.”

Shaking my head, I regard him with hatred in my eyes. I can’t believe he’d be so heartless. He knows how much I’ve grown to care for Arnold and my determination to see this fight through until the end. Would he really put his father’s life in danger just to prove a point?

“You wouldn’t.”

“Give me what I want and you’ll never have to find out.”

“No,” I say firmly, so sure that he’ll drop it.

I should know better because he doesn’t let it go.

“That’s a shame,” he murmurs shaking his head sorrowfully. “I was really looking forward to having my fill of you. But I guess you want to do this the hard way. Have your stuff out of my house in twenty-four hours. You no longer have a job.”

And with that, he turns and walks away.

What the hell just happened?

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

OLIVIA KING

Settled on Winnie’s couch, I huff and look around the living room at my scattered bags and unorganized belongings. Because of how sudden my move was, I’d been in no way capable of cataloging things before I just dumped them in a bag or box.

True to her nature, Winnie hurried over and helped me pack when I called her upset about what happened. It wasn’t so much that I was sad to lose my job. It was the fact that now Arnold was susceptible to God knows what because of his son’s reckless behavior.

Everything transpired before eight and now it’s nearly midnight and I’m finally taking a deep breath.

“You okay?” Winnie asks, plopping down on the sofa beside me.

I turn my head to face her and feel a pang of guilt when I get a good look at her.

Simply put, my friend looks beyond exhausted and I know she has to get up and head to the office bright and early, even though it’ll be Sunday.

“I feel like I should be asking you that. Why don’t you go to bed? I’m fine. I promise,” I say, giving her a reassuring smile.

When I’d mentioned checking in to a hotel for the night, she objected and demanded that I sleep in her spare bedroom.

“Nonsense. We’re having a glass of wine to celebrate your freedom. I know it didn’t come in the way you planned but it’s still freedom nonetheless.”

She pulls a bottle of red wine seemingly out of thin air. Winnie makes quick work of filling two glasses and setting the bottle on the coffee table. We clink glasses and recline against the comfortable cushions of her couch.

“Cheers to you, girl.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” I tell her.

“Please, I haven’t done anything you wouldn’t do for me. Have you talked to Sebastian about everything that’s happened today?”

My heart dances as soon as I hear his name and my smile isn’t too far behind it. Despite my shitty day, just the mention of him has me feeling lightheaded.

“Not yet. I honestly haven’t paid too much attention to my phone today. I’ll give him a call before I go to bed. It’s not as late over there so I have time.”

“You officially no longer have an excuse not to visit him in California. He’ll probably have you relocated and settled by the end of the week,” she says matter-of-factly, taking another sip of her wine.

“Your stuff is already packed,” she says with a half smile.

An hour later, after our second glass of wine, Winnie treks down the hall to her room. After locating something to sleep in, I grab my clothes and head for the guest room on the opposite side of the apartment.

Once I’ve showered, I slip under the covers and press my phone to my ear. Anticipating Sebastian to answer, I frown when it rings endlessly. Calling him again, I get the same result.

He must be busy.

When I called the third time, the phone bypasses ringing and goes straight to voicemail.

A heavy feeling settles in my gut but I try to shrug it off.

He’s just busy.

Even though it’s eleven at night where he is, I know that Sebastian often pulls long, unpredictable hours. So this must be one of those nights.

When I’m prompted to leave a message after the tone, I sigh and start speaking. “Hi, Bash. I know you’re probably busy working but I just wanted to hear your voice. It’s been a rough day. Give me a call when you get this. Bye for now.”

After leaving the message, I decide to try to get some sleep. I’m mentally and physically worn out.

However, my overactive mind is whirling from the day’s events and I sit up on my phone clicking through different apps.

Suddenly, an alert sounds and my hopes are quickly crushed when I realize that instead of a text from Sebastian, the sound is from the stupid Google alerts Winnie set up on my phone when I first returned from vacation.

She claims that because of who I’m dating, I should always be privy to what people are posting about me. I haven’t used it once, always ignoring the notifications. Until tonight.

Blame it on the wine, but I find myself in a rather inquisitive mood. I open the notification and wait for my phone to load the landing page.

From the heading on the website, I can see that it’s clearly a gossip blog covering pop culture.

What the hell could they be posting about me? Sebastian and I haven’t been seen out together since Turks and Caicos. His visit here last week was too brief to garner any real attention. At least I thought so.

It doesn’t take me long to get my answer and I feel like the bottom has just dropped out of me.

There, on the screen in full color, is a picture of Sebastian and some blonde woman with legs that stretch on for miles.

What strikes me is that the woman is holding a colorful bouquet of flowers, smiling radiantly with her arm looped through Sebastian’s. His smile isn’t as wide as hers but it’s there and it cracks my heart in half.

For the first time, I allow my eyes to wander to the caption under the photograph:

“Just weeks after enjoying an island getaway with contest winner Olivia King, tech tycoon Bash Downs seems to have moved on from the fling. Today he was pictured out with his ex, supermodel Maya Levi. Have these two rekindled an old flame? YOU be the judge. Swipe through the photos and leave us your take below.”

His ex? The gravity of that information hits me with the force of ten-thousand bricks. Sebastian outright told me that he never dated anyone because of his demanding career.

And judging from the photos, they were very familiar with one another. The photos screamed intimacy. Their entwined arms, their smiles and their searing eye contact. Everything about it was nauseating.

My unanswered calls suddenly make sense. He wasn’t working late after all.

But he’d been busy all right.

An eerie sense of déjà vu settles over me, twisting the knife in my gut that much more. This is Jordan all over again, except more people get to witness my humiliation.

But there was no blog post to point out Jordan’s betrayal. This was worse.

What I thought was love for Jordan dims in comparison to what I feel for Sebastian. And he’d just stomped all over my heart.

I can’t believe I made myself vulnerable to him and believed the bullshit about him being “all in.”

My chest is constricting from the pain and I want to scream at the top of my lungs but I refuse to wake Winnie.

Why had he led me to believe we were more than we actually were? He’d snatched away my right to choose whether or not I wanted to be a part of his sick little lineup of women.

The screen blurs in front of me before I feel wetness on my cheek. But he isn’t worth my tears. Foolishly, I’d opened my heart up to someone who wasn’t worthy and now I have to face the repercussions.

Silly me.

With shaking hands, I quickly type out a text.

Message received loud and clear. I won’t bother you again.

My finger punches “send” as more tears threaten to fall. Refusing to feel sorry for myself, I swipe the moisture from my face and toss my phone across the bed.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

SEBASTIAN DOWNS

I fucked up.

When I pulled out my phone tonight and saw those three missed calls from Olivia my stomach dropped to my shoes because I just knew she was calling to confront me about the pictures that surfaced with me and Maya.

Instead, I’d heard her tired but cheerful voice lamenting about a rough day and urging me to call her back.

Thinking I had time to warn her about what she may see later, I saved the voicemail just as a text message from her came through.

Message received loud and clear. I won’t bother you again.

Swearing under my breath, I immediately call her to set the record straight, already realizing that my chances are pretty slim. She’s had time to form her own idea of what happened. On my fourth attempt, Olivia finally picks up the phone sounding groggy.

“H-Hello?”

“Olivia, I can explain.” There’s really no need for pleasantries at this point.

Silence stretches before Olivia speaks again, sounding confused.

“Sebastian?”

“It’s not what you think.”

I can tell the exact moment she comes awake fully. The grogginess leaves her voice and is replaced with icy anger.

“I don’t know, the pictures are pretty damning. You know, I thought I was special when I saw the pics from my trip and the way you looked at me. But I guess that’s just your default expression whenever the prospect of getting laid is on the table.”

“Olivia.” I don’t know why I can’t manage more but words fail me at the moment I need them most.

“Very convenient of you to forget you had a supermodel ex.” The anger in her voice is evident but so is the hurt and I feel like shit for being the cause of it.

Sighing, I try to string together my next few words carefully.

“Maya was in town for a family member’s funeral. I felt bad for her.”

It sounded silly to my own ears but it’s the absolute truth.

“So I’m guessing you felt bad for me too when we started our little fling. She looks pretty radiant for someone who’s grieving. How’d you pull that off?”

“You’re not a fucking fling!” I roar through the phone. “You’re everything. You have to believe me, Olivia.”

“I don’t have to believe anything. I made a mistake by letting down my guard around you. We should have left it all on the island.”

“Olivia, don’t. You know how I feel about you.”

“No, I don’t. I don’t trust a thing you say. I wouldn’t be lying here humiliated if your words were anywhere near the truth. Tell me something. If the shoe was on the other foot and you saw me out with another man, would you be okay with it?”

A beat passes as the line goes silent because she struck a nerve. Hell no, I wouldn’t okay with it.

“That’s exactly what I thought. You’ve been territorial over me since before our first kiss. If another man so much as looks at me, you go into an uproar. But you’re allowed to walk the streets with your ex after a date and I should just take it?”

Her voice is shaking with anger and I’ve never felt more disappointed in myself.

“I wasn’t think—”

“That much is obvious. But I won’t be a part of this little lineup you have. You won’t get the chance to embarrass me again, Sebastian. I’m officially removing myself from your sick little roster.”

“There is no roster! Would you just fucking listen to me?” I shout in frustration.

“You don’t get to be angry with me!” she yells right back, not missing a beat. “I didn’t do anything wrong. Unless you count trusting you.”

Her words sting, but I don’t have time to dwell on them.

“Olivia, please.” My voice is pleading. “I didn’t do anything with her. She means nothing to me.”

“She obviously means enough if you went running as soon as she called.”

“It’s not like that. I told you I felt bad.”

“Well lucky her,” comes her snide remark. “Listen, Sebastian. I have to go. Your pathetic excuses are the last thing I need to add to this shitty day. I’m jobless and homeless. I don’t really have the extra energy to deal with this at the moment.”

Her initial voicemail comes to mind and I want to know what happened. Even though I know the likelihood of her confiding in me is slim to none.

“Olivia, talk to me. What happened, baby?”

“I called to tell you all about it, but you were too busy taking a trip down memory lane to answer me. Look, I clearly misinterpreted my role in your life but I was serious when I texted you earlier. I won’t bother you again and that’s a promise. Please don’t contact me anymore, Sebastian.”

“Olivia, wait—”

She hangs up on me.

This isn’t over, Olivia.

As soon as I send the text, it bounces back with a generic message informing me that the recipient has blocked me from sending messages.

Furious, I shove everything off my nightstand. The loud crash doesn’t even register as I stand there fuming.

This cannot be the fucking end. I refuse to lose her like this.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

OLIVIA KING

One month later…

“But I don’t understand, I didn’t apply for any scholarship. There must be a mistake. I’m here to pay with a check,” I explain.

I’m standing in the middle of the accounting office at Tennessee State and while the lady in front of me is kind looking, she’s clearly confused me with some other student.

“My name is Olivia King. K-I-N-G. Maybe it’s a popular last name but I assure you I haven’t received any scholarships.”

Talking with my hands, I shuffle from one foot to another waiting for her to reevaluate her computer screen and recognize the error.

“Honey, I don’t know what to tell you; it posted to your account this morning. An anonymous donor set up the funding and you’re the only recipient in the whole school,” the gray-haired lady informs me.

The only recipient in the whole school.

It doesn’t take me long to piece two and two together and come up with Sebastian. There’s no way another stranger would feel inclined to randomly cover the cost of my education.

I’m stunned and angered by his interference all at once. He refuses to just leave me alone.

Magically, he found out about the new apartment I’ve been renting and huge bouquets of peonies arrive every other day. Each time, there’s a card attached with a straightforward message letting me know that he has no intention of giving up on us.

The same day I’d received my acceptance letter to nursing school, a brand new car was delivered to my doorstep. Not just any car — a shiny, red BMW with a bow on the hood to be exact. Upon opening the driver’s side door, balloons with the word “Congrats” written all over them floated up into the air.

As stunned as I was by the gesture, I haven’t driven it once.

No amount of expensive gifts can make me forget the pain he caused me. At least that’s what I tell myself. I’ve been second guessing my decision so much lately.

What if I overreacted because of the shitty day I was having? Sebastian had no reason to lie. Was he really telling the truth?

It doesn’t matter. It’s over.

“The scholarship covers your tuition for every semester, as well as a book stipend. So make sure you come back a week before school and we’ll cut you a check so you can buy your books,” she continues to go on and on, knocking me out of my reverie.

Numb, I thank the woman and turn just as she tells me congratulations.

A thank you doesn’t fall from my lips because I’m too busy rustling through my bag to find my phone.

This is enough. I’m calling Sebastian to get to the bottom of all this.

My stomach is attacked by nervous quivering as I hold the phone to my ear and wait for him to answer the call.

He does so on the first ring and I suddenly realize I’m not ready to hear his voice again. Especially surrounded by a crowd of strangers as I walk through campus to get back to the main road.

“Olivia?” his voice is as deep and sensuous as I remember. My knees nearly buckle at the sound.

I’ve missed him.

The urge to just hang up looms over my head but I can’t chicken out. I have to give him a piece of my mind. But all my bossy remarks have suddenly fled my mind.

I can only muster his name.

“Sebastian.”

“Olivia,” he says again but this time my name is a relieved sigh. As if he’s been waiting a hundred years for this moment and it’s finally happening.

“I-I, um.” Are you freaking kidding me? I’m stuttering like a fool. Clearing my throat, I try again. “Why did you pay for my tuition?”

The question sounds accusatory and in a way it is. I don’t need his money. I’d already won a million dollars from his company. Why did he feel the need to keep rubbing it in my face how much money he had?

“What makes you think I paid for your tuition, baby?”

My eyes slide closed and my heart constricts at his easy endearment. Thankfully, I’m waiting at a crosswalk by this time so I don’t get trampled by a rush of people.

“The lady said it was a scholarship fund set up by an anonymous donor. And I’m the only one in the school who received it. Don’t you think that’s a little too coincidental?”

“Hmm,” he hums noncommittally and lets me keep speaking.

“I don’t know anyone with that kind of money lying around. So it has to be you.”

He doesn’t say anything right away.

“Sebastian, you can stop throwing your money around. I can afford to pay for my own education, thanks to you. So I don’t see the need for you to keep showing off.”

“I’m not showing off, I’m investing in your education,” he snaps defensively.

Don’t ask me why but the anger in his voice is just plain seductive. I have to fight hard to keep my composure as I cross the street and head in the direction of my new apartment building.

“Fine, well what about the car?” I want to know.

“I thought you might need a way to get to school every day.”

“I’m okay with walking. It’s not that far,” I volley back.

“Jesus, Olivia. Why won’t you just let me do something for you?”

“You’ve done enough!” I explode unintentionally. The emotion that’d been rising in my chest since he picked up finally erupted. “Expensive gifts don’t fix a broken heart, Sebastian.”

His silence is ominous before he clears his throat. “I’m fucking lost without you, Olivia.”

His usually confident and sure tone is masked by what I want to say is sadness.

“I miss you more than you can imagine. The gifts are my only way of getting through to you because you won’t pick up the phone. Do you know how frustrating that is?”

Emotion jams the words in my throat, so I just look to my left and blink away the tears forming in my eyes.

“Olivia, you have no idea how many times I’ve picked up the phone to call you after a big win at work or a frustrating meeting that went sour. I call you anyway even though I know it’s going to voicemail just so I can hear your voice. I’ve run out of ways to tell you I’m sorry so I’ve resorted to showing you instead. It’s all I have left.”

“Sebastian,” I whisper through a cloud of tears.

“It’s not the same without you, Olivia. I need you,” he says earnestly.

Just when I think my heart can’t hurt any more, his words amp up the pain even more.

Because I need him, too. It’s taken me a while to realize it but he became my lifeline in such a short period of time.

When things ended abruptly, I wasn’t prepared for the crushing pain. It was unbearable.

“I swear to God I didn’t do anything with that woman and I never will because my heart belongs to you. Only you.”

Rounding the corner, I bite my bottom lip to still the tears. My apartment is in view now and I will myself to make it inside the elevator before I open the floodgates and start wailing like a baby.

I shouldn’t have called him. This was a bad idea. I’m not over him.

I don’t think I’ll ever be over him.

“I have to go,” I croak out miserably.

“Olivia, please—”

But I hang up before he can get in another word.

The sincerity in his voice makes it clear that I made a huge mistake and I don’t know if I will ever forgive myself for that.

Finally, I reach the high-rise luxury building that I splurged on. It’s about a twenty-minute walk from campus and has every amenity I could ever need.

I fling open the door to the lobby of the building and sprint for the elevator, ignoring the warm greeting from Ralph, the doorman.

Once the elevators doors slide close, I dissolve into a pile of tears near the back of the confined space. Sobs are shaking my shoulders by the time I reach the tenth floor. My floor.

Stepping off the elevator, I wipe my tears and try to focus on calming breaths as I search for my key. Eyes cast down, I collide with a solid figure just near the end of the hall.

Looking up, an apology is right at the tip of my tongue until I realize who it is.

“Sebastian?”

“Olivia,” he breathes before crushing me in a hug.

His arms engulf my small frame in a warm embrace, causing me to melt against him because I’ve been craving his touch for weeks and the moment has finally come.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, my words muffled against his solid chest.

“I missed you,” Sebastian says into my hair.

His familiar scent greets my nostrils and I breathe him in deeply.

Sebastian.

He’s really here.

Ravenously, his mouth devours mine in the most sensual way. I’ve never been kissed quite so thoroughly. He pulls away roughly, his fingers firmly grasping my chin to hold me in place.

“Forgive me,” he says and I know it isn’t a request. His intense eyes are trained on me.

All I can do is nod.

“I had no idea about your shithead ex. That explained a lot. I got why you were so disappointed in me.”

Amazed, I stare at him wide-eyed. “How did you find out about that?”

A secret smile touches his perfect lips.

“Your friend Winnie has been very helpful in the last few weeks. I hacked her phone carrier and got her number,” he says nonchalantly.

“Sebastian!” I whisper, scandalized, and look around to make sure no one heard him.

“What? I was desperate. I had to put the resources I had to use.”

I only narrow my eyes at him playfully, still so happy that he’s standing in front of me.

“Shit, I missed you,” he declares before pulling me closer to him. So close that I can feel the erection straining against his fly.

Instantly, my center starts pulsing in sync with his erection.

“I love you,” he says, never breaking eye contact. “I think I knew it the second you got off that damn plane.”

Stunned, my gaze is glued to him. I love him, too. So much. Warmth spreads through me knowing that the feelings I have for him are reciprocated.

“I love you, too.”

Sebastian drops his forehead to mine and makes a command I vow to never disobey.

“Never leave me again.”

EPILOGUE

SEBASTIAN DOWNS

Six months later…

“Bash!” Olivia calls out as soon as she enters the door.

The excitement in her voice will never get old. She makes me feel like the luckiest fucker alive when she greets me and I bet she doesn’t even know it.

Abandoning my present task, I leave her bedroom and meet her in the hallway.

“Hi,” she says, smiling brightly at me.

“How was your day, sweetheart?”

“Better now,” she says, further stroking my ego. “How was your flight?”

“Uneventful. You were all I could think about.”

I’d taken one of my now frequent flights in from California this morning to spend the weekend with her.

Because of our hectic schedules, we’d settled on a compromise. I do most of the traveling because her school schedule isn’t very flexible. Most of the time, I work remotely from Tennessee unless it is absolutely essential that I show up in the flesh.

When Olivia has an extended break from school, we go to California. We’re still working out the kinks but it’s served us well so far.

I’m even in the process of buying land to open an east-coast division for the site and app. Steady growth has increased our demand for employees and office space and my home state is as good a place as any to put down some roots.

Olivia made the decision that much easier.

I want to be wherever she is.

“How was the old guy today?” I ask, referring to her outing after class.

Green eyes light up like the sun and her smile is just as bright.

“Today was a good day for Arnold. He was sitting up in his chair when I got there. And he smiled when he saw me, even though he still thinks I’m his wife Claire.”

This makes me chuckle. Arnold had been put in a nursing home only a month after Olivia was fired. His condition had deteriorated so quickly in those four weeks that his son had no choice but to put him in a nursing home.

At first Gavin visited Arnold every weekend. The nurses report that on one visit, Arnold was unusually lucid and in a screaming fit, told Gavin that he never wanted to see him again after what he did Claire.

It didn’t take much to figure out that Claire was Olivia, and that he knew Gavin wronged her.

Gavin has never visited again. As an only child, Gavin and his father were always extremely close. Rumor has it Arnold’s outburst destroyed Gavin’s spirit.

Olivia visits him every chance she got and I always looked forward to her amusing stories when she returned.

“Claire must have been as beautiful as you are if he keeps getting you two confused,” I remark tweaking her nose.

“Forever the smooth talker,” she grins, wrapping her arms loosely around my waist.

God, I love this woman.

My body is rock hard just from being in her presence. Hell, I’m never not horny where Olivia is concerned.

She’s my strength and weakness packaged in human form. My constant when the rest of the world turns its back on me.

Which is why I’m anxious to execute my plans for the evening.

“Have a seat and I’ll get us something to drink,” I say, steering her to the sofa.

Alone in the kitchen, I pour myself a shot of whiskey to eliminate my nerves. With my hand in my pocket, my fingers run over the velvet box housed there.

This is it.

I love this woman and I know without a doubt that she loves me too. But for some reason I find myself just as nervous now as I was that day in the art room before I asked her to prom.

Just go out there and do it.

After pouring her a glass of wine, my steps carry me back to the living room where she’s sitting Indian-style on the sofa surfing the channels.

Her hair is piled high on top of her head, and she’s wearing a yellow sundress to combat the Tennessee summer heat.

Her face is makeup free yet still stunning as ever.

When she sees me nearing the couch, she instinctively reaches out for the glass and starts talking away.

“What do you want to watch? There’s a marathon of that game show you like on. But there’s also a marathon of that renovation show that I really love—”

I could listen to her chat all day but I need to say this before I lose my nerve.

“Olivia, I need to ask you something,” my voice is smooth, not betraying the angst I feel.

Noting the seriousness in my voice, she looks at me expectantly and takes a sip of her wine.

“What’s up?”

“I’ve had something on my mind for a while and I wanted to know how you felt about it,” I say stalling.

Shit, this is harder than I thought.

“I’m listening,” Olivia says smiling at me encouragingly.

Without preamble, I take the wine glass from her hand and drop down to one knee in front of her. Once it’s situated on the coffee table, I grasp her hand in mine and watch her eyes fill with tears before I even say a word.

“Olivia, I love you so much. I suspect I did in high school too, but I just didn’t know the words for it at the time. We never got our chance back then, but then you showed up unexpectedly and turned my world upside down.”

“Oh, God,” she whimpers faintly.

“I have never been happier than when I’m with you. You complete me like no one else can and I want to spend the rest of my life learning how to be a man worthy of your unconditional love. I loved you then and I always will, Olivia.”

Reaching into my pocket, I retrieve the ring box and snap it open.

Tears slide down her cheeks at the sight before her then she flings her arms around my neck and cries, “Yes! The answer is yes!”

Chuckling, I pull back slightly and tease her. “But I haven’t even asked you anything yet.”

She shakes her head as if it’s of no consequence. “You don’t have to because the answer is yes. Yes, I’ll spend the rest of my life with you and only you.”

OLIVIA DOWNS

Ten Years Later

Small hands are splayed across my face when I wake up.

Peeking one eye open, I notice my oldest child staring at me anxiously from the side of the bed.

How she got in here is anybody’s guess. That is until I notice that Sebastian’s side of the bed is empty and cool.

Unbelievably exhausted from last night’s extracurricular activities with Sebastian, I grab my daughter and pull her onto the bed with me. Squealing from the unexpected action, she rewards me with one of my favorite sounds in the world: her laughter.

“What are you doing awake at this hour, Ava?”

Her blue eyes are the perfect replica of her father’s when she looks at me with a jovial smile.

“I couldn’t wait to surprise you, Mommy!”

“Oh yeah?”

My five-year-old daughter nods furiously, sending her strawberry blonde locks all over the place.

“What’s the surprise?” I play along, reaching up to restore some normalcy to her headful of hair.

“I can’t tell you! Daddy says it’s a secret!” she says, squirming from the contained excitement and I can’t help but laugh.

She reminds me so much of myself in that regard.

“And where’s Daddy?” I ask with wide eyes, feeding her excitement.

“Downstairs,” she whispers conspiratorially.

“What’s he doing downstairs?”

Ava looks at me, contemplating whether I’m worth spoiling the secret.

I can tell the exact moment she decides that I’m not.

She’s such a daddy’s girl.

Her loyalty will probably never waver. Not that I blame the poor girl. Sebastian can be pretty convincing.

“He’s busy,” she says evasively, making me laugh.

“And your brother? Where’s he?”

“Downstairs with Daddy. We’re waiting on you!” she exclaims.

Feigning surprise, I cover my chest with one hand. “Me?”

“Yes, Mommy!”

“Why didn’t you say so earlier?” I ask teasingly before tickling her.

Her squirming only intensifies and I’m rewarded with the joyful ripples of her laughter.

“I love you, baby girl,” I tell her as I cradle her in my arms.

She may not be an infant anymore but she’ll always be my baby.

“Love you too, Mommy,” comes her distracted but automatic response. “Can we go downstairs now?”

Snickering, I release her and let her down from the bed. “Tell them I’m coming, I just need to use the little girls’ room first.”

“‘Kay!” she shouts before dashing out of the door like a bolt of lightning.

What I wouldn’t give just to have an ounce of her boundless energy right now. Tired doesn’t begin to cover it, but thankfully I have the next three days off to recover from the brutal hours I’d been putting in at the nursing home.

As the director of nursing, there is never a dull day that passes. Add that to the fact that my house is practically a circus with two kids and my husband roaming around. Needless to say, I stay pretty busy.

Getting out of bed, I walk to the bathroom slowly, amazed that my body still gets sore from the various positions my husband twists and turns me in during our lovemaking.

Every time I think I’ve discovered every possible muscle, I wake up the next morning sore in places that I didn’t know existed.

A good problem to have if you ask me.

After nearly a decade of marriage, Sebastian and I still can’t get enough of one another. Through the good and the bad, the highs and the lows, one thing remains the same — we are crazy for each other and nothing will ever change it.

Not long hours at work or screaming kids at home. Nothing can get in the way of our passion for one another.

As I wash my face, I reminisce over the circumstances leading up to this very moment.

We had a short engagement before getting married on Christmas Eve only five months after Sebastian popped the question.

Upon graduating nursing school, Sebastian gifted me a trip to France and I can almost guarantee that Ava was conceived in the air on our way there. We’d been all over each other in the private jet and thankfully the flight attendant had stayed put near the front of the plane.

As soon as we found out I was pregnant, Sebastian bought a house that could easily double as a museum. It’s huge and over the top but our family is fitting in well.

Ava’s birth was the highlight of my life. I’d always secretly feared motherhood but she made it feel like the most natural thing on earth. A year and a half later, our small family grew when we welcomed baby Lucas to the fold.

I’d never felt more content in my life. I had the man of my dreams, the job of my dreams and now the family I never knew I craved so deeply.

Sebastian and I figured out the whole parenting thing one day at a time. And I swear to God, there was nothing sexier than watching that man transform into the best father he could be for our children.

He gave our kids everything they needed and more.

I fell in love with him more every chance I got to witness his love for our babies.

Once I brush my teeth, I run my hands through my sleep-matted hair and head downstairs.

The downstairs area is eerily quiet as I approach the kitchen and then I hear Ava whispering.

“She’s coming. She’s coming!”

“On the count of three,” Sebastian coaches them, his patient tone warming my heart.

“Surprise!” they erupt as soon as I enter the state-of-the-art kitchen.

There, right before my eyes, sits my whole world.

Ava is clinging to her daddy’s leg, while Lucas stands on the countertop with Sebastian’s firm hand in place to ensure he doesn’t fall.

My husband is smiling at me with that gaze that always makes my panties evaporate but I have to remind myself that now isn’t the time.

Especially since there are presents scattered along the countertop as well as breakfast.

Happy Mother’s Day! is printed in bold letters across some of the balloons while others read, Happy Birthday!

This year my birthday happened to fall on Mother’s Day and leave it to these three not to exclude anything.

“Happy Mother’s Day, baby,” Sebastian’s deep voice reaches me and I want to purr.

God, this man is so sexy. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the fact that he’s my husband and I get to have him for the rest of our lives.

“Happy birthday, Mommy!” Ava is beaming while Lucas’ sole focus is trying to unwrap one of the gifts.

I scoop him up in my arms and blow a raspberry against his chubby cheek.

“Hi, handsome boy,” I say walking around the center island with him on my hip.

Lucas’ eyes light up and I smile because he inherited my green orbs.

Finally, I reach my husband and grin from ear to ear. “You’re incredible. Thank you, honey,” I whisper earnestly.

Not only am I thanking him for today’s sweet surprise, but also for the happiness that is never too far out of reach when he’s near. I wouldn’t have any of this without him and sometimes it overwhelms me when I consider just how lucky I am.

“You haven’t even opened your gifts yet,” he smiles at me.

“Open mine first, Mommy! It’s a necklace,” Ava reveals, not caring that she ruined her own surprise.

Laughing, I tear into the gifts while my little team anxiously awaits my reaction.

SEBASTIAN DOWNS

“Can I get you two anything?” the flight attendant asks hovering over us.

“No, we’re good for the remainder of the trip. Why don’t you have a seat and enjoy the flight?” I ask, dismissing her as smoothly as I know how.

There are other things I have in mind for this trip and no one should witness them.

The woman smiles politely before making her way to the front of the private jet.

“Nice job buying us some time,” my wife speaks up beside me.

When I turn my eyes on her, a radiant smile greets me along with desire burning in her jade eyes.

For her birthday, I’d surprised her with a trip back to the island where it all started. The kids are staying with their Aunt Winnie for a week, allowing us some much-needed grown-up time.

“I’m still amazed that you pulled this off. Everything from requesting extra days off for me at the nursing home to locking in Winnie for the babysitting. You never cease to amaze me with your thoughtfulness.”

Olivia brushes her fingers over the stubble present at my jaw and smiles at me fondly. “I love you.”

There isn’t a second of hesitation with my response. “I love you, too.”

With everything I have.

More than ten years together and my love for her only grows with each passing day. So does my desire.

My erection is tightening the crotch of my pants, eager for release.

Which reminds me…

“I want you,” I tell her bluntly.

Cute pretenses have no place in our marriage. We always say what’s on our mind. And right now, I have a one-track mind because all I can think about it is pulling her down on my cock as she rides me forty-thousand feet in the air.

Smirking, Olivia meets my gaze and raises the armrest between our seats. “Looks like we’re on the same wavelength because I want you too.”

“Take off your panties,” I make my first command.

A daring gleam enters her eyes before she reveals, “I’m not wearing any.”

“Fuck,” I say raggedly.

Olivia’s face reflects satisfaction for rattling me.

“Come here,” I demand pulling her onto my lap in one swift motion.

“What are you doing, Mr. Downs?” she asks feigning surprise.

“I’m going to fuck you now, Mrs. Downs.”

No matter how many times I say it, I’m still in awe that this incredible woman is my wife. She’s perfect in every way and for some reason she loves me.

I move her short skirt up and out of the way, baring her to the cool air on the plane. Her slit is already glistening and ready for me but I want to test her first anyway.

With two of my fingers buried deep inside of her, she rises and falls against my hand to chase her orgasm. When she comes, it’s with a sigh and bliss washes over her perfect features.

I can’t wait any longer to be inside of her.

Putting her back on the seat beside me, I rip open my zipper and push my jeans down my legs as fast as humanly possible. My insatiable cock springs free and slaps my abdomen as Olivia’s eyes take in my girth as if it’s the first time she’s ever seen me.

She stands and moves over me without me having to ask, her curvy thighs straddling my lap as she sinks down lower to take all of me inside of her soaked tunnel.

Once she’s fully lowered herself, she pauses with her mouth forming a perfect “O” and grabs onto my shoulders to steady herself.

“Sebastian,” she groans throatily.

Her hips are fuller now, thanks to carrying my children, and so damn sexy. I grab on to her and start moving her body up and down. The pace is torturously slow at first, but I refrain from increasing the pace too fast.

Olivia’s head falls back as she rides me slowly, lost in our lustful bubble.

She feels amazing, her pussy clamped snugly around my length. We’re the perfect fit. Her unique scent is starting to permeate the air around us as her soft thighs collide with mine every time she moves on me.

I could spend the rest of my life buried inside of this woman and it still wouldn’t be enough.

She drives me crazy but in the best way. There is no other woman on this earth who could do for me what she does so effortlessly.

“Harder,” Olivia pleads, her body leaning against the chair in front of me.

My grip around her waist tightens as soon as she gives her command and then I’m pumping into her. The momentum of my strokes matches the intensity of my need for her and I pull her tight body down faster and harder.

“Yes!” she moans, grinding her hips into the thrusts.

That’s the last straw for me. I need to be deeper, closer to her.

From my seated position, I begin pounding upward, my hips moving with piston-like precision to drive into her wetness. Her tight walls contract around me, sapping me of my energy but I keep at it with fervor as need courses through me.

Olivia is barely able to catch her breath as she rocks up and down on me, but from the way she’s biting her lip I can tell she’s nearing another orgasm. Ever the overachiever, I steady her with one hand and my fingertips seek out her engorged clit.

Her movements turn jerky with the added stimulation and I know it won’t be long. But I want to come with her so I increase the tempo of our rocking motion once again.

“Olivia, you’re so fucking good, baby,” I grind out between thrusts. She feels so damn good and she’s milking me for everything I have.

“God, you’re going to make me come so hard, Bash,” she whines, reaching down to cover the hand that’s fondling her clit. “Don’t stop. I love it too much.”

Those words spur me on, making my movements frenzied and desperate. I need to come inside of her and mark her as mine as I always do.

“I want another baby,” I blurt spontaneously.

My wife’s movements slow but she doesn’t stop moving, not daring to suspend our lovemaking.

“What did you say?”

“A baby,” I breathe harshly. “I want you pregnant with another one of my kids.”

Her eyes darken at my clarification and out of nowhere, Olivia’s thighs begin trembling as she surrenders to her orgasm. I watch pleasure consume her and the ecstasy on her face pushes me over the edge in conjunction with the spasms tightening her pussy around my dick in a vice grip.

I come hard, grunting into her mouth as she leans down to kiss me. Fingertips digging into the flesh of her thighs, I continue shooting my seed inside of her until there’s nothing left to give.

Spent, I fall back against the cushion of the seat and pull her with me.

“I love you,” she sighs and the words tumble out of her mouth as easily as the breath filling her lungs.

“Does that mean the answer is yes?” I ask dropping a lazy kiss against her nose as our foreheads meet.

Still heaving, Olivia simply nods, moving both of our heads with the action.

“I can’t say no to you,” she confesses. “Especially not when making babies is so fun with you.”

Arrogant Chef

You come to work in my restuarant and I’ll fuck you.

Hard againt the freezer, hot against the ovens.

Bent over the tables.

Until Maddie shows up.

The naïve virgin had never even been out of her small town before.

She’s almost too sweet to be a pastry chef.

Suddenly I can’t get her heart-shaped ass out of my head.

All I can think about is punching her V-card.

But my business partner laid down the law -- no more screwing the staff or I’ll lose my restaurant.

Unless we can keep it a secret…

*** A steamy STANDALONE contemporary romance with a smoking hot hero. No cliffhanger, no cheating, and a guaranteed happily-ever-after.***

Chapter 1

MADDIE

“You don’t have to do this, ya know.” My best friend for the past four years seems to have a soft side after all.

“I know I don’t have to, but why would I not? I mean, yes, it is a huge city. How bad can it be?”

“New York? Are you kidding, Maddie? You have never lived anywhere that didn’t consist of a pasture full of animals at least a few miles from you.”

“I lived here for four years. That has to account for something.”

“This is college. A dorm room doesn’t count.”

“Ali,” I say, taking her hands in mine. “I’ll be fine. I promise. It will just take some getting used to. That’s all. It can’t be that much different. Instead of a pasture full of cows, I’ll be dealing with a parking lot full of cars.”

“Yeah, but the cows here don’t try to run you down.”

“You’re being melodramatic.”

“Only because I care about you. Promise me that you’ll call me when you get there?”

“Of course, I will.” I wrap my arms around her and hug her tightly, almost not wanting to let go. I have to admit, the security of Ali and this small dorm room held onto me. I’m nervous but I am good at hiding it. When we finally let go, I force a smile and before the stinging of tears fill my eyes I am turning away from her, picking up the last of my bags and jetting out the door to a new chapter in my life.

With my culinary arts degree still crisp in my portfolio, I board the plane bound for the Big Apple. As the flight attendant goes over the take-off procedures, I look out the window to the gates and wonder if I am doing the right thing. Maybe it is a mistake moving to the city that never sleeps, when I have never slept with anyone to begin with.

“Stop second guessing yourself, Maddie,” I tell myself. “You can do this.” I close my eyes and clutch my bag as the plane begins to move forward.

***

The city traffic is insane, and the taxi driver weaves in and out of the lanes, coming dangerously close to other taxis and bicyclists. I learn quickly to keep my eyes in my lap and trust that nothing will come into contact with the bright yellow taxi before it pulls up to my new apartment.

“Forty-two ninety,” the driver says as the cab comes to a jolting stop.

I look up for the first time and notice buildings with the occasional tree planted under cement. No grass, no open spaces and definitely no farm animals.

“Um, is this the Seaman Apartment Complex?”

“Yes,” he says abruptly. “Forty-two ninety.”

I dig through my purse and pull out fifty dollars. Once he has it safely in his grasp and has handed me my change, he quickly gets out and pulls my bags from the trunk.

“Can you help me take my bags into the building?”

Without a word, the cab driver sets the last of my bags in the road next to the parked cars on the side of the road and gets into his cab.

“Sir?”

When he drives off, I look around and begin to believe the rumors.

“Be careful, Maddie. New Yorkers are nothing like the people back home.” I can still hear my father’s voice over the phone when I called and told him about the job I accepted. “They aren’t nice or friendly. They move way too fast, they keep to themselves and they live in their own world, which is what I highly recommend you do.”

And, although my father tried his damnedest to talk me out of moving here, he knew I was going to make up my own mind. And here I am, in the middle of the busiest city in America with all my belonging stacked up in front of me.

I shoulder what I can and drag the rest of my bags, as I struggle to make my way between two parked cars. Dad is right. Out of the sixty-some people who pass me as I grunt and drag my things, not one person stops to help or even ask. No one looks in my direction, except for one older woman who scoffs at me because she has to walk around me.

“I’m sorry,” I called out. “I dropped my case.”

She continues on her way without looking back.

“Have a good day,” I say, shaking my head.

My apartment is quaint. A small bedroom off a slightly larger room that looks to be my kitchen/living room/dining area. The bathroom is so small I can pee, while putting my feet up on the side of the tub, as long as I don’t lean over and hit my head on the sink.

I plop down on the bed and look around. “Yes, quaint. We’ll go with that.”

I pull out my phone, double check that I have the right directions to Bistro Italiano, take a deep breath and begin my new life.

***

“Hello?” I walk into the restaurant between meal hours, I am hoping it isn’t too busy to meet my bosses and get familiar with where I’ll be working. A waitress looks at me as she neatly rolls two forks, a knife and a spoon into a dark blue cloth napkin.

“Welcome to Bistro Italiano,” she says with a smile as she stands. “Will there be anyone joining you this afternoon?”

“Um, no. I’m here to see the manager? Is Mr. or Ms Santoro in?”

She loses her smile and sizes me up. “What about?”

“I’m starting work here tomorrow.”

“Waitress?”

“No. I’ll be in the kitchen. Pastry chef. I kind of wanted to get a feel for the place before I start.”

“I bet you do.” The woman smirks at me before walking away.

What just happened? I’m starting to feel like I made a bad choice coming here. Maybe New York City isn’t the right place to start my culinary career. I look around the dining area. I do have to admit, the place does have a certain high-class feel to it. The deep blue curtains are gorgeous against the creamy white walls. Tables and chairs made of a dark wood and beautiful lighting accentuated the art on the walls. I am definitely in the right place. I just need to learn to adapt.

“Joanne just popped out for a moment and Rocco is busy.” The woman returns from a hallway and sits back down to resume her silverware wrapping.

“Would it be possible to let me look around the restaurant? I would like to…”

“You didn’t let me finish,” she says with sarcasm.

“I’m… sorry.”

“He said you can go back. He’s just finishing up.”

“Oh! Thank you.”

“You got it.” The way she purses her lips gave me a red flag but I didn’t heed it. “Down the hallway, second door on the left.”

“Thank you.”

“Enjoy.”

I’m hesitant but I feel my legs carry me in that direction, my eyes still on her. Why is she so bitter, so angry? What did I do that was so bad? Not all New Yorkers can be so cold, can they?

I walk down the narrow hallway to the second door with a nameplate that reads Rocco Santoro. I stand in front of it, straighten my blouse and put on a nice smile. Lightly knocking on the door, I step back and wait. Someone mumbles from behind the door. Did he tell me to come in?

I hesitate with my hand on the door knob. Oh, God. Should I go in? Should I knock again? I quietly turn the knob and open the door. I’ll just apologize if he is busy and wait in the hall.

Opening the door, I freeze at the sight before me. They don’t notice me there. Yes, I said they. A man and a woman, half-naked and having sex on the chair behind the desk.

Turn around and walk away, Maddie. Why am I not moving? Something stirs within me. I am entranced by him, the way he touches her, his fingers grabbing her, her head falling back as he pleasures her. I like watching him. I want to watch him. They don’t notice me. But I notice myself, me. I’m breathing a little heavier. My lip is between my teeth. My body tenses and my toes curl. I hold on to the doorway and press my body against it.

He looks up at me, his eyes directly penetrating mine. My breathing stops. Turn around! Leave! What am I doing?

He smiles and keeps going.

Chapter 2

ROCCO

I will admit, Tasha is hot. One of the hottest pieces of ass in the joint. I didn’t hesitate hiring her years ago and it’s been fun ever since. I knew by the way she presented herself she was going to be a lot of fun. Her waitressing skills, or lack thereof, could be vastly improved, but she is fun to look at. And now, here she is once again, riding me and pleasing me the way a woman should. I grab her hair and yank her head back. She likes that. It makes her gasp, which makes me harder. I drive into her again, ignoring the knock on my door.

“Come here, my pet.” I slide my hand around the back of her neck and pull her to me, exposing her neck so I can suck on her tender skin. Just as I lean forward to taste her, I notice a young woman standing in my doorway. Her eyes are wide as saucers and she wants to run but something keeps her there.

I smirk. She is sweet, pure, innocent, definitely not a native. I like her already. Do you want a show, good looking? I kiss Tasha’s neck, my eyes still on the damsel in my doorway. There is something about her that draws me to her. I can’t stop looking at her. Tasha sits up and blocks my view, pushing her mouth onto mine. I try to be attentive, but I’m distracted now. Grabbing her by her long blonde mane, I pull her to the side and look back to the empty doorway. Something in me changes. I try to concentrate on the luscious babe on my lap but I no longer want her.

“I can’t do this. Get up.”

“That’s not what you told me last week, baby.” Her teeth bite into the side of my cheek. Her breathless words were true. I tagged her last week leaning over my desk, or maybe it was at my apartment after work. Ours is a very informal relationship. She lets me know when she is lonely and I do the same. No strings, no messy knots. She is one of the better lovers I have been so fortunate to experience, however, my mind is now on the mystery woman; that look, the purse of her lips and the innocence in her eyes.

Tasha climbs off me, more understanding than I expect. Her body is gorgeous, curvy, well maintained.

“Perhaps we can continue this another time.” I stand up and put myself back together, kissing her one last time before escorting her out of my office.

I look around the dining room and notice Mary sitting at a table, rolling silverware, a smirk on her face. Sneaky. I hesitate before walking into the kitchen, my eyes glued on her, making her aware that I am onto her little game.

“Nice timing.”

“I’m sorry, Rocco. Were you busy?” Her words are saturated with sarcasm.

“Jealousy will not get you any further, Mary.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“I believe you do.”

I turn to the kitchen, spotting the mystery girl making herself at home alone in my restaurant. A wave of arousal flows through me as my eyes are filled with her again.

“You are still here,” I say with a smile. “Can I help you with something?”

“I’m, um, I want to apologize for…”

Her innocence radiates through her as her cheeks turn a lovely shade of pink.

“No need. What can I do for you?”

“I am… I start work here tomorrow.” Her struggle is so cute. It makes me want to comfort her. “I’m Maddie Levere.” She straightens up and holds her hand out to me. I slide my hand into hers, touching her palm with my fingertips and sliding them up until I have firmly imprisoned her delicate hand in mine. Her touch electrifies me.

“Ah, yes. The fresh graduate from the west.” My eyes are glued to hers and surprisingly, she keeps contact.

“Yes.”

“Quite the small town, if I recall.”

“It is, yes.”

“How do you like New York?”

She lets out all the air in her lungs. “It’s definitely a change. Very busy and…” I watch her as she searches for the words she is looking for. “Rude.”

“Rude?” I repeat, my eyebrows in the air.

“So far, yes. My father warned me. I didn’t want to believe him, but I see that he is right. New Yorkers are very crass and undeniably full of themselves.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at her impression of the people I love. Born and raised in New York, I suppose I am somewhat biased, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I think you need a little more time here. There is nothing like it.” I watch her face soften. “It is truly alive and pulsates with energy. You just have to give yourself to the beautiful culture of this city and it will give back to you.”

“I will try.”

“Let me take you out sometime.”

“No,” she says, stepping back from me. “I don’t think that would be a good idea. You are my boss, for one. Also, I don’t think your wife or girlfriend would approve.”

“Tasha?” I laugh. “She isn’t my wife or girlfriend, I assure you.”

“But…” she looks away, “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business. I’m not sure why I’m here. I don’t know if this is the right place for me.”

“How do you know if you don’t even give it a chance? Do you give anything a chance, Maddie? Or are you used to watching from the sidelines and making up your mind to walk away before experiencing what life can truly give you?”

She opens her mouth to defend herself, but closes it before saying a word.

“That’s what I thought. You were one of the top students in your class. My co-owner and I hand-picked you because we feel you can give this place what it needs. And maybe this place can give you what you need. Don’t be scared before you find out what that might be.”

She looks around as if trying to validate why she is still here. Nodding in agreement gives me hope that I still have a chance with her. I just have to play it cool.

Chapter 3

MADDIE

My mind tells me to leave, to find employment elsewhere. If they chose me to be part of Bistro Italiano, I shouldn’t have a problem getting a job someplace else, right? So why am I still standing in front of this man? This gorgeous Italian who seems to look directly into me? He isn’t like any of the guys back home. He is clean cut, the blackest of hair slicked back to show his dark features. His eyes are penetrating, his jaw chiseled and strong, flawless dark skin, his lips. I force myself to pay attention to his words and wonder if this is honestly something I should be doing. I feel so out of my league.

That woman he was with is not his girlfriend, so what? He randomly sleeps with women for the hell of it? Where is the love? Where is the romance? Is chivalry really dead? I’m thinking it was never discovered in New York.

I convince myself to give this a chance, trying to prove to my boss and to myself that I can try something before walking away from it. I can do this, I just need to keep my mind focused on my career and not on Rocco Santoro.

“I’d like you to meet my colleague, co-owner of the business and older sister,” he says. “This is Joanne Santoro. Joanne, this is Maddie Levere. She will be starting tomorrow.”

I realize it is the first time he takes his eyes off me since we have officially met. Deep down, I feel a sense of abandonment. It is something I had never felt before. What is it? Why do I feel the need to have his attention? I force my hand out and smile.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” I say. “I like to put a face with a voice.”

“Yes. We have spoken over the phone several times. Welcome to Bistro Italiano.”

“Thank you.”

“You’ll be starting tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“I look forward to seeing what you have to offer. You’ll have to pardon the many changes that will be going on here. We will be revamping the look as well as the staff.”

“That’s not a problem.”

“I’ll start you off at the salary we had discussed and review in three months. Does that sound fair?”

“Absolutely. Thank you, again, for this opportunity. I am looking forward to it.”

“We have strict rules here as well. They are set in place so we continue to run a successful business and take care of our customers. The best advertising is word of mouth and with so many high-end restaurants to compete with in Manhattan, we have to stay on top of our game.”

“I completely understand.”

“So, as with most places of employment, if you are late more than three times without sufficient notice, you are fired. If you screw up a dish more than three times a month, you are fired. There will be no relationships within the company.” She glances at Rocco before continuing. “This includes heavy petting and casual sex.”

It’s my turn to glance at Rocco. Did that apply to everyone?

“Some of these rules are fairly new, but will be adhered to. Here is an employee handbook,” she says, handing me a thin booklet. “Inside are other health and safety regulations, contact information, benefits and other information. Do you have any questions?”

“No, ma’am.”

“One other thing. If you want to work here, don’t call me ma’am. Call me Joanne, please, and welcome on board.”

“Thank you, Joanne.” I smile at her.

***

It was a good meeting, I think to myself. I turn on the water in my new tub and wait for the warmth to infuse with the cold. Joanne is so nice. I pull up my top over my head and look at my image in the mirror. I’m not so sure about the waitresses. It worries me as I wonder if it will be a game to try to win over their friendship. I couldn’t imagine working in an environment where everyone hated or was jealous over someone else. I pull off my skirt and let it drop over my top.

My thoughts then go to Rocco again. He was all I could think about on the way home. What I saw in his office and how he spoke to me afterwards have stayed with me. I think he could see straight inside of me.

“Rocco,” I whisper, watching my lips in the mirror. They stay parted. My fingertips glide down my neck as I imagine his face, his hands, his body in my mind. I bet you get lots of women, don’t you Rocco? I glide my hand over my bra, my nipple taut and sensitive. I bet they swoon over you and fall at your feet, don’t they?

My finger slides into my bra and over my nipple causing a sensation to radiate through my chest. I take off my bra and panties, discarding them in the same pile and step into the steaming water as it cascades from the large shower head. The water causes a goosebump effect all over my skin and I let a small steady stream that has escaped the natural flow to run over teasingly my nipple. I bring my hand to my breast and roll my nipple between my fingers causing electricity to flow through me.

A fresh bar of soap fills my senses as I run it underneath the water and then glide it across my stomach. “Rocco,” I say again, closing my eyes. I push the soap between my legs, allowing it to slide back and forth causing the thoughts and sensations from my body to target directly between my legs. The soap falls from my hand, clunking into the tub.

I run my hand down to where the soap had been, my fingers sliding between the slick folds of my pussy. I imagine Rocco behind me, directing my hand where he wants it to go. I imagine his mouth on my neck, the same way I saw him do with Tasha. I imagine him inside me, fucking me like I saw him fucking Tasha. My breathing is ragged and my fingers move faster.

Make love to me, Rocco. My other hand is busy, I push my fingers inside me, my thumb circling around my clit, arousal heightening as my imagination runs wild. I’m sitting on him in his desk chair, riding him slowly at first. He turns me around, pushing me over his desk and grabbing my hair.

“This is how bad I want you, Maddie,” he growls, fucking me until he comes. The thought brings my orgasm to the edge until it spills over and makes my body spasm.

“Oh, God.” I pick up the soap and finish bathing, feeling the heat in my cheeks and wondering why I find such a man so irresistible.

Chapter 4

ROCCO

I see Joanne making up the menus for the week when I walk into my sister’s office.

“What do you think?” she asks without looking up.

“About what?” I plop down in the chair on the other side of her desk. It was a long day and I wanted to pound some drinks back so I can fall into bed and sleep heavily. When she stops writing and looks at me from above her dark-rimmed glasses, I know exactly what she is talking about.

“The new girl, Rocco.”

“Well, she’s been here a week now.”

“Yes?”

“Definitely fuckable.”

“Rocco, come on. I thought we talked about this? You promised me you would stop doing this.”

“Asking me to stop my very natural and healthy sex life is like asking Charlie Sheen to play by the rules.”

“That’s not fair. You know I can’t fire you, even though I should have that right.”

“You love me too much to get rid of me.”

“And you know how important this restaurant is to me.”

“Okay, okay. Don’t break my heart with that look again, please.”

“So, do you have anything to say?”

“I do. I think if we are going to make this work, we need to let Tasha and Mary go, or at the very least, have a meeting with them and possibly give them some training on how to improve.”

“Really?” she says, pulling her glasses from her face. Her pleasant surprise is worth admitting my issues with them. “I couldn’t agree with you more, on the first part, anyway. I’m not training them again.”

“Maybe you’re right. With the history between us and the drama they like to start, I think it’s a good business choice. They aren’t very good at their jobs.”

“They never were,” she says, looking at me with a sly grin.

I know what she is thinking, and she’s right. The only reason I kept them on is because I liked playing around with Tasha and Mary could be good at her job, but her personality kept her back.

“You just have to promise me something.”

“What is that, Rocco?”

“You just hired the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Let’s not be so quick to do that again, huh?”

“Maddie?”

“Yes.”

“You say that about every single woman I hire,” she says, dismissing my request with a wave of her hand.

“I’m not kidding. This is different…”

“Oh, no. You and I had this conversation. You promised me you would leave my staff alone from here on out. Maddie is no exception.”

She’s right. I’m a fool for even thinking I have a chance with her. Maddie is nothing like the other women in my life.

“Yeah, no, I agree. I told you I would change. You have my word.” I say the words, but I didn’t want to.

“Okay. Good,” she said, keeping her eyes on me. “Give me a couple of days to find some replacements. We can let Tasha and Mary go Wednesday after their shifts. That should give me time to train some new girls and get them ready for the weekend crowd.”

Joanne looks at me for a long time without saying a word. She’s worse than our mother was. I couldn’t have a private thought without her knowing what I was thinking.

“Why do I not believe you about staying away from my girls?”

I shrug and look away without saying a word.

“Leave Maddie alone. Please. I need her here. She is an excellent pastry chef and I don’t want you ruining her before she has a chance.”

“I didn’t say anything,” I say, shrugging my shoulders.

“I know that look. I don’t like that look. It’s more than knowing a new girl is working here.”

“Can’t get anything past you, can I? Honestly, I will admit, I’m having a hard time getting her out of my head.”

“It’s more than that. I can see it in your eyes. Rocco, I need you to focus. Please.”

“What the hell do you want me to do? I didn’t hire her. She just shows up in my doorway and stops me dead in my tracks.”

“Shit.” She rubs her forehead because she knows. She knows how I am with women, and this woman has already done something to me.

“Tell me what to do, Joanne. Unless you are going to tell her she can’t work here, you need to tell me what to do. I don’t understand this. I love women with long hair, she has short hair! No, it’s not even a sassy sexy bob, it’s shoulder length. How boring is that? I love women with experience. Maddie is so innocent I wouldn’t put it past her that she is a virgin! I love women with curves and moves, she has none of that!”

“I’m not getting rid of her. Not unless she screws up, or screws you.”

“That’s not fair.”

“It’s not fair that you think with your dick. She is your pastry chef, Rocco, not one of your lovers. What is the problem?”

“I can’t stop thinking about her.”

“Try harder.” She goes back to her menus and looks back up at me after a few moments. “We are done here.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Don’t call me that.”

I smirk and lean over the desk, giving her a peck on her forehead before leaving for the night. I am in trouble, and Joanne knew this. I’m hoping deep down that she does something about it, before I am forced to.

The next day is slow at the restaurant, so I hole myself up in my office and catch up on some paperwork. I’ll use that excuse because it sounds better than trying to stay away from trouble.

When the shifts end, I clean up, shut down my computer and smile as I leave my office, proud that I make it through the day with only thoughts instead of acts.

I walk into the dining area and look around. Everything is cleaned and put away as it should be. I peek in the restrooms and upon inspection, they are spotless as well. Walking back through the dining room, I hear a noise in the kitchen.

Maddie is leaning over the deep kitchen basin, washing some large cooking pots.

“You’re here late,” I say, leaning against the wall. I startle her and watch her body move as she turns and looks at me.

“I didn’t know anyone was still here. I was just trying out a few recipes before leaving. I hope that is okay. They came out beautifully. I was thinking we could use them on tomorrow’s menu.”

“That is up to Joanne.” I want to move the strand of hair from in front of Maddie’s face. It hangs there, taunting me, teasing me. I want to move it, I want to touch her. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“No. I’m just cleaning up. I’m almost done.”

My presence makes her uneasy. Her body language clearly shows that I affect her. If she only knew how badly she affected me, too. How am I supposed to stay away from such an angel when all I can think about is her?

“Maddie,” I say, softening my voice as I lean against the counter near her. Her breathing is faster. She isn’t cleaning the pot. She is standing there, nervous.

“Tell me what you feel when you see me. Tell me I am not reading the signs your body screams when you are near me. Tell me you are attracted to me.”

“I can’t,” she whispers but her eyes tell me differently.

“You can,” I tell her.

“I see it in you. You are unlike anyone I have ever met, Maddie. I feel a connection with you. I need to pursue it. It will drive me crazy if I don’t.”

“Rocco, please. Don’t do this. I need this job.” She is trembling and I just want to pull her in to protect her.

“No one needs to know. I want to be with you. I want to explore this feeling I have. I saw you in my office doorway when I was with Tasha. I saw the need in your eyes. You didn’t want to go. Did you, Maddie?”

She shakes her head slightly, but enough that I know she admits it.

“Don’t, please,” she says.

“Listen to me. I stopped because of you. As soon as I saw you, something changed in me. I don’t want Tasha. I don’t want anyone now, except for you.”

“Please, Rocco. Don’t do this. I don’t want this.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I’m not going to be just another one of your lovers. I hear how they talk. You’ve slept with more than half the women here. I refuse to be added to your collection.”

She walks away from me, the pot unwashed and I hear the front door open and close.

“Damn it.”

Chapter 5

MADDIE

“Good morning, Maddie.” I look up from my work at the kitchen counter and smile as Joanne walks into the kitchen. “You are here early. I didn’t expect you in until later.”

“Good morning. I hope it’s okay.”

“Yes, of course. But we don’t open until eleven. It gives you plenty of time to prepare.”

“I wanted to look at some new recipes.”

“And there’s nothing wrong with that. I like an employee who takes initiative to go above and beyond what is expected. If you need anything, any help at all, I’ll be around.”

“Thank you.”

I like Joanne. To be honest, I didn’t choose to start my shift early to gain brownie points or take initiative. I had to get my mind off Rocco and what better way to do that than to delve into work? Besides, I figure if I can get the majority of my work done before he comes in, I have a better chance to avoid him when the time comes. I just hope my libido can stay put when it does happen again. I fell asleep to the image of him kissing me again.

Lunch comes and goes with no issues, work related or boss related. If everything goes well the rest of the day, my hopes of getting through this job will be stronger. Just as I finish that thought, I am interrupted by a crying waitress dressed in black and white, running through the kitchen.

“Tasha?” I call out. “Are you okay?”

She runs out the back and slams the door. Do I go after her? Without another thought, I wipe my hands on a nearby cloth and walk through the back door to find her sitting on a wooden crate in the alley, her face in her hands.

“Tasha?”

“What do you want?” she mumbles, sobbing.

“I just want to help. What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“No. I’m not. I just got fired.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Just go back to your work. Leave me alone. I have to figure out what I’m going to do. I should have known not to get involved with him.”

She had to be talking about Rocco. Joanne must have found out about them and she fired her. “How long have you been here?”

“If you even care, three years. Just stay out of it.”

She gets up without looking at me and walks away, disappearing around the corner of the building.

I walk back in, determined to help. Joanne is a sweet woman. As soon as I walk into the dining area, I see Joanne disappear into her office so I follow her and knock lightly on her door before entering.

“Come in, how is everything going so far?”

“Good, for me.”

“Ah, you just ran into Tasha.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.” She clasps her hands together, giving me her full attention.

“I saw Tasha. She was pretty upset after getting fired. Can I ask why you let her go?” I pretend that I don’t know, even though I’m sure I do.

“There are a number of reasons. She has been late twice lately without enough notice and her breakage rate is very high. She is just not cut out for this line of work.”

She knows I know more. “When we hired you, Maddie, I had told you we would be making some pretty big changes. This includes the restaurant and the staff. It is one of the reasons we decided to hire you. Do you have an issue with something?”

“No. I just, I guess I feel bad for her. I want to know the type of situation I am becoming a part of.”

“Okay,” she says, listening for my next bit of discourse.

“I sort of caught her and Rocco together and…”

“And you want to be sure she isn’t being let go because of that?”

Well, when she put it that way, it sounds like I’m divulging more than I should, especially about my boss.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to rat them out.”

“Maddie, I’m well aware of my brother’s extra-curricular activities in and outside of this restaurant. But it seems although we both want to see this place succeed, I have been the one working hard in actually trying to make it happen. Recently, something has finally gotten to Rocco enough that he does too. He came to me and recommended that we hire new waitresses to replace the mediocre ones we have been trying to work with. Looks aren’t enough to run a successful restaurant.”

“I agree.”

“We don’t mind paying a little more for quality employees. This is why we hired you. Your school gave you such high recommendations, I couldn’t say no. I am hoping my decision wasn’t made in haste.”

“No, ma’am. I mean, Joanne,” I say with a smile. “I will do my very best.”

“I know you will. Is there anything else?”

“No.”

“Okay, then. I’ll let you get back to your work.”

“Thank you.” I walk out, second guessing my ability to do this job successfully. The actual job itself is not the issue, it is the male boss I have to answer to who worries me most. I need to lay down the law the next time I have the chance, before there is no chance here for me.

I see Rocco walking through the dining area to the kitchen and I take a deep breath. What better time than the present, right?

I walk in behind him and continue my work at the counter, allowing him to do whatever it is he needs to do. I watch him go through the supplies, reading the labels and marking something down on his clipboard as I struggle with the words to say. I sort of said my piece when he chatted to me last night. Was it enough? I watch him and try to read him. He doesn’t look at me or even try to strike up a conversation.

“Can I talk to you, Rocco?” I blurt out.

“Sure,” he says without looking. He continues to take inventory without skipping a beat.

“I saw Tasha earlier. She was really upset.”

“She has a reason to be.” He walks into the back room and continues his inventory there. I follow him, determined to make sure he knows I am not available to him.

“Can I ask you why she was fired?”

“She’s not a very good waitress, never has been.”

“Then why did you keep her on for so long?”

He turns and looks at me, and it isn’t just a look. He penetrates me with his eyes. I feel it deep in my stomach and suddenly, it’s hard to breathe.

“Why do you care what happens to her?”

“She seemed upset. I just…”

“Wanted to help her? Wanted to save her from heartache? We didn’t have any sort of love affair, if that is what you are worried about.”

“I… didn’t mean that.”

“Tasha is a good person. I kept her on because of that. I wasn’t thinking about the restaurant. But I do know I should have let her go a long time ago. She just isn’t a good waitress. I kept her on my staff for the wrong reasons. I guess I was selfish. I know that now, thanks to…” He looks at me and my stomach does a flip. Am I that reason? Everything I want to say to him dissipates into thin air.

“I don’t know what you are talking about?” My body stiffens and my throat constricts around my words. The air feels heavy around me. This wasn’t what I wanted to happen. “You just took me by surprise, that’s all.”

“You shouldn’t lie to me, Maddie.” He looks me straight in the eyes. I want him to kiss me like I imagine him kissing me at night. However, he doesn’t move. The only movement that I can sense is the pounding of my heart and the sound of my pulse in my ears.

“We both know better, don’t we?”

I nod, not knowing what else to do. My mouth is dry and my fingers turn cold. I feel the heat he gives off as he leans into me. His fingers run up my arms causing goosebumps to chase after them. The combination of it all sends my mind spinning. He forces my head up and looks into my eyes and it was all it took. The connection I fought between us since the first time I saw him strengthened and wove itself around us so quickly I lost the reality around me.

He moves in closer until his mouth is covering mine and all I can do is mold myself to him. He wraps his arms around me, pulls me into him and completely dominates me. My surrender betrays me and I am powerless to fight it.

I faintly hear my name in the background, but it doesn’t sink in until Joanne is too close. I only feel Rocco’s body against mine.

“Maddie?”

Rocco moves away from me and picks up his clipboard, pointing at something I couldn’t read and talking gibberish as Joanne walks in. “So, this is where you would write down the inventory we have in stock,” he says. I look up at him and then back at the clipboard. Everything swirls together until I realize he is trying to make the situation look like we are working.

“What are you doing?” Joanne asks, her eyebrows furrowed.

“Teaching Maddie inventory.”

“I don’t want her learning inventory. That is your job. I need her to focus on the menu. Jesus, Rocco, she has only been here a few days.”

I look at Joanne, still spaced out from the quick change of pace. She asks me something but I only hear mumbling. I follow her out of the stockroom and back to my station where I am putting together several pie crusts for the evening’s dessert menu.

“These are what I want for tomorrow evening, Maddie. I know they are a bit difficult to make, but I wanted to get your opinion on them.”

I stare at the recipes before me as reality begins to seep back in. Crème brûlée, lemon meringue pie, baklava and baumkuchen. Is she kidding? Is this some kind of test?

“Um,” I stammer still trying to clear my head. “You want me to make these for tomorrow evening?”

“Yes.” She was curt and expecting me to say yes. “Can you?”

“They are all quite difficult to make and time consuming. If the rest of the menu is fairly simple, I think I can pull it off. I have never made baumkuchen before, but one of my classmates did while I was watching. I think I could do it.”

“That is what I want to hear. I’ll leave you to it then.”

I wait for her to leave before examining the recipes a little closer. “This is going to be impossible.” I look around and see Rocco coming out of the stockroom.

“We should continue our conversation later this evening.”

“No, Rocco. This is a mistake.”

He walks to me, causing my breath to catch in my throat. “This is not a mistake,” he says sounding desperate. “I don’t feel like this if it is a mistake.”

I fight it. I keep my head down and I grit my teeth. “I don’t want anything to do with you unless it pertains to my work. I expect you to honor that.” My body aches for him to touch me again. I want his lips pressed into mine. I want so much more.

“Please go.” I whisper as I grip the counter until he walks out.

Later that evening, Joanne introduces me to a new face.

“This is Nancy. She is starting here with us this evening.”

“Hello, I’m Maddie,” I tell her as I hold out my hand. She is soft spoken but she holds my gaze. She is strikingly beautiful yet holds something behind her toothy smile. “Welcome to the team. I just started a few days ago, myself.”

I don’t like her, but I’m not sure why. I try to let it go. My father always told me to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and that first impressions are almost always wrong. I smile and offer my help if she needs it.

Finishing my shift, I clean my counters and put away my ingredients. I look in the display cases at the lemon meringue pie and the crème brûlée and I smile at a job well done. My hopes are high for the other recipes that I plan to conquer tomorrow.

I walk out of the kitchen and my heart begins to race when I see Rocco standing at a table in the corner. I stop and quietly walk backwards to the kitchen. If I go out the back, I can avoid him. I start to turn around and I hear a woman’s voice giggling from the same corner. He steps back and reveals Nancy, the new girl. I slowly move back in the shadows as I feel my heart drop. She glances over to me and unbuttons the top of her blouse. I force myself to think he is just a playboy rather than face my jealousy and I turn too quickly to go back through the kitchen but I somehow find a way to collide into the wall instead. Rocco looks directly at me and turns away from her.

“Don’t stop on my account. I was just leaving,” I spit and quickly disappear into the kitchen and out the back door. When I finally climb into a cab and have time to think about what just happened, I mentally kick myself in the ass for stopping in the alleyway in hopes that he decides to run after me instead of staying with her.

I shake my head and pray for this stupid crush to pass.

Chapter 6

ROCCO

Nancy is beautiful and quite tempting, but thoughts of Maddie cloud my thinking. This isn’t what I want anymore. But I can just imagine what Maddie thought. I look at Nancy, her fingers still on the button of her blouse, a smile on her face. I sit her down in the chair and shake my head.

“I can’t do this,” I tell her. “If you’ll excuse me.” I turn and start to run after Maddie. Nancy stops me.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to play the chivalry card with me,” she teases as she drags a long pink fingernail along my arm. “The others have warned me to steer clear of you.”

“Did they?”

“Mm-hmm. Little do they know, I like bad boys. I’d love to show you just how much I do,” she says as her sexy eyebrow rises up her forehead.

“I have to go.” I walk around her and head for the kitchen.

“Don’t tell me you are going to go after her,” she pouts.

“Actually, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

“She doesn’t even want you!” she yells as I disappear through the kitchen and out the door. In the back of my mind, I know Maddie is gone but I try to catch her anyway.

By the time I get to the street, the only thing I see is the cab that pulls away with Maddie in the back. Taking my time to go back into the restaurant, I am hoping Nancy is gone. Walking back through a now dark kitchen, I see the dining area lights go off.

“Hang on a sec,” I say when I see Joanne flipping switches. “I just have to grab my stuff in my office.”

“I’ll wait and walk out with you,” she says.

I grab my things from my office and lock up before joining her at the front. After she locks up, she puts her arm in mine and we casually stroll out into the cool night air.

“Rocco, I think we need to have a little talk.”

“I thought we already did that?”

“Apparently it wasn’t enough.”

“You saw.”

“Nancy? Yes. But that is not what is worrying me.”

“What is it?”

“It’s Maddie.”

“I think she is doing a fine job.”

“Oh, she is. It’s you I have an issue with.”

I take a deep breath and put down my head. I know it’s coming.

“You have feelings for her.”

“I have feelings for women, in general.”

“Not like this. I’ve been watching you and I can see how she affects you.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal.”

“Let me finish. I know you own half this place. But I am telling you as my brother, as my business partner,” Joanne stops and turns to me. “I forbid you to see her in that way.”

“You really have no grounds to do that, Joanne.”

“I do, and I will. I need you to stay away from her.”

“And if I don’t?”

“I will pull out and stop financing the restaurant.”

“You and I both know you can’t afford to do that.”

“I won’t sit back and watch you run it into the ground. I would rather sell out to someone than watch that happen.”

“I’m not going to do that. Will you have some faith? Don’t you want to see me be happy?”

“More than you know. But jumping from woman to woman, then thinking you can settle down with Maddie is not going to happen.”

She has a point, but it’s not enough. I can’t stay away from Maddie. Every fiber of my being screams to be with her.

“I will think about it.”

“There is no thinking about anything. If you pursue her, I’m out. Do you understand?”

“Loud and clear.”

“Good.” She walks to the street and raises her hand. Without another word, she climbs into the taxi cab and slams the door.

“See you tomorrow,” I mumble.

Chapter 7

MADDIE

Walking into the restaurant, I don’t feel very well put together. A sleepless night was not in my itinerary, nor was thinking about Rocco the entire night. I know I told him I wasn’t interested, but it wasn’t true whatsoever. I am so very interested in Rocco.

I walk through the dining area, the lights still off. The only light illuminating the place is coming from Joanne’s office. It is usually a toss-up on who gets in first. It surprised me that she had given me a key after the first few times I had to wait for her to arrive to let me in. When I get into the kitchen, the smell of my lemon meringue pies fill the air and I smile at how good the aroma is.

That is, until I turn on the lights. I want to gasp or scream or throw something but I don’t. I just stand there looking at the large mound of desserts piled onto the floor. My pies and crème brûlée are thrown together onto the floor, the display cases and refrigerator door still wide open.

“What the hell?” I murmur. I walk to Joanne’s office. I stand in her doorway and watch her fingers fly over the keys on her keyboard.

“Joanne,” I say quietly.

“Good morning, Maddie. What can I do for you?” She looks up at me and her smile fades. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s been a, um, an incident.”

“What is it?”

“My desserts and everything in the refrigerator has gone bad.”

“Oh, my… do not tell me that refrigerator is on the fritz. I just replaced the damned thing.” She gets up and quickly walks past me.

“I don’t think that is the problem.”

I follow her out, not saying another word until she sees the mess herself.

“What happened?”

“I would like to know that as well.”

“Everything is destroyed?”

I nod. “Everything in the refrigerator and what you see here on the floor, yes.”

She turns and looks at the cooler.

“Judging by the temperature of the food, Joanne, this happening sometime ago. Maybe last night? I haven’t been in the back cooler or supply room yet.”

Joanne quickly runs and after a few moments she returns looking at the mess on the floor in front of me. “It’s just this,” she says. “Who would do something like this?”

“I don’t know.”

“If I run to the store, can you remake these?”

It would take a miracle. It would take three people to do what I have done in time for the dinner menu, and that is only if each dessert comes out right the first time.

“Yes, I can.” I’m a glutton for punishment.

“Okay. Make a list of what you will need and I’ll do the running.” She pulls out her phone and hits a couple of buttons, holding it to her ear. “How long before you come in? Okay, well we have a bit of a mess here that needs your assistance… Bring backup if you can… Okay… See you in ten.” She puts her phone back in her pocket and looks at me. “Don’t worry about this. Get me the list and I’ll be ready to go.”

“Okay.”

“Do you want me to get you some help?”

“No. I think I can do this.”

She nods and disappears from the kitchen, leaving me in the aftermath of the destruction. I want to start cleaning the mess but I know I need to stay on task and get the list for Joanne in order to even come close to putting any desserts in the display cases in time for dinner.

I hear the front door open and close, and wonder if it is my clean-up crew, expecting a couple of the waitresses. Rocco walks in and immediately looks over the counter at the floor, an all-knowing look on his face.

“She wasn’t lying about the mess, was she?” He glances at me. I want to tell him I didn’t make the mess, but when I open my mouth, Nancy walks in behind him shutting me up before I even say a word. Of course, I conjure the worst scenario possible and it causes a heat to slam into me, jealousy rearing its ugly head. Nancy apparently catches on as her mouth forms a sassy little smirk.

“What happened?” Her play of innocence is disgusting.

“Someone must have broken in and destroyed the kitchen,” Rocco says, glancing at me again.

“If you think this is bad, you should see the supply room,” I add while watching Nancy’s face. She furrows her eyebrows and immediately looks at the supply closet. When she looks back at me, I am the one smirking. Busted.

She looks at me and cocks her head. “Let me help with this,” she says, bending over in front of Rocco and leaning into him. There are so many things I want to do to her, but I turn away from them both and walk away with a notebook and pen in my hands. At least the idea she has to clean up her own mess gives me some satisfaction.

“How is it coming along?” Rocco walks into the kitchen a few hours into my shift and sees me hard at work. Apparently, I look a mess with the grin he has when he looks at me.

“Is there something funny?”

“Not at all.”

“This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t decide to hire Nancy.”

“You can’t blame this on her.”

“I can, and I do. Are you defending her?”

He doesn’t offer an answer. “I know you don’t like her, Maddie, and I’m pretty sure I know why.”

Okay, my turn to stay quiet.

“Want some help?” he asks, pulling an apron from a cupboard. He moves close to me and watches for a minute, then he falls into place as if he has done this a million times before.

“I have to admit, I was a little surprised that you offered to do all of this,” he says as he pulls at the dough on the counter, stretching it and kneading it into a ball.

“Do all of what?”

“All these desserts. They are some of the hardest to accomplish.”

“I didn’t offer.”

“Ah,” he says matter-of-factly. “Another one of Joanne’s tests. She likes to push those she believes in.”

I smile a little. It makes what I’m doing seem a little more tolerable and doable, knowing the woman I work for believes in me.

“If it makes a difference, Maddie, I believe in you too.”

“Thank you,” I say humbly.

I can feel the heat between us as we talk about how long he has been in the business and why I chose the culinary arts. The tension is thick but neither of us crosses the line, even though I flirt on the border of it. Every time he reaches over me to get a couple eggs, I can feel the heat of his body.

Just as we finish the last of the desserts, Joanne pops in and smiles at the countertop covered with my newly created accomplishments. She sweeps the kitchen area with her eyes. There are several desserts lining the counter as I put the finishing touches on the last of the baklava.

“I do believe we are finished. I have another batch of pies coming out of the oven. After I top them, that should be all.”

“Maddie, I am impressed. I honestly didn’t think you could do it when I initially asked you. When the incident happened, I was sure we would be without dessert this evening. Between the specialty desserts and our signature cakes, you did it. You got everything done.”

The cakes! I feel the blood drain from my face. I didn’t make the cakes! Bistro Italiano is known for their signature cakes and every week they sell out of them. I look at the clock and it’s almost four-thirty. There is no way to make them in time, even with help. I screwed up. It’s time to admit defeat.

“Joanne?”

“Give me just a moment, Maddie. I hear my office phone. I will be right back.”

She disappears from the kitchen and I scramble around in hopes that some miracle helps me put four different cakes together and get them ready in the next half hour. I run into the supply room and pull as much as I can carry off the shelves.

“Maddie?” Rocco’s voice stops me for a moment. I can’t give him the time of day right now. “Stop what you are doing and come out here please.”

“I’m busy at the moment, Rocco. It will have to wait.”

“No, it can’t. Come here, now.”

His forcefulness causes my breath to catch and I slowly walk into the kitchen with my arms full of ingredients.

“You won’t be needing those.”

I look at the counter as he sets the last of four cake display stands with covers next to my pies.

“What is this?”

“I knew that you would be too busy to prepare everything, especially after what had happened, so I took the liberty of preparing these.”

“You are kidding.” I put the boxes down and dash over to the displays, pulling the tops off two of them. Each one holds a signature cake, perfectly decorated and ready to be served. “I can’t believe you did this.”

“Stepping up and stepping in is what a boss does. I hope this helps.”

“What is it you needed, Maddie?” Joanne walks back in and looks at the food. “Everything smells delicious.” She stands and looks at me, waiting for me to speak.

“I, um,” I glance at Rocco as he takes a small slice out of one of the cakes.

“Good job on the chocolate mousse cake,” he says, shoving a forkful into his mouth. He winks at me and turns away.

“Rocco took care of it,” I say, smiling.

“Very good. Everything is ready?”

“Yes.”

She smiles and hesitates, looking at the dishes and then back at me. “Duly noted.”

All through dinner, my mind is on Rocco. Maybe I am wrong about him. I know it’s been tough fighting the feelings I have for him. Everything tells me I need to talk to him about it. Open communication is the key to any good relationship, even a business relationship, right? If I tell him everything, maybe I’ll get a better idea on how to move forward. After the dinner crowd thins out, I find Rocco in his office going through receipts.

“Can I talk to you?” I ask, standing in his doorway.

“Absolutely, come in.”

I walk in and quietly close the door. “I want to thank you for what you did for me today. If it weren’t for you, I would have…”

“It’s okay, Maddie. You were struggling. It’s the least I can do.”

I sit down in a chair against the wall and fidget with my bracelet. “Can I be honest with you about something?”

“Of course.” He sets down his pile of receipts and turns to me giving me his full attention.

I swallow a lump in my throat and take a breath. “From the day I met you, I feel like…”

His door opens without warning and Nancy walks in, past me and stands directly in front of me.

“I need to talk to you, Rocco,” she demands.

“What is it?”

“I’ll wait until Joanne joins us. This is something you both will want to hear.”

Chapter 8

ROCCO

Nancy is angry about something so I wait patiently for Joanne to join us. She blocks Maddie from my sight until Joanne walks in and takes her position by my side.

“Okay, what seems to be the problem?” I ask.

Nancy puts her hand on her hip and leans forward on my desk. “I don’t think I can work in a place like this.”

“What is the issue?”

“It’s the food she made.” She turns and glares directly at Maddie. I wasn’t aware she knew Maddie was even in the room. “Do you have any idea how many complaints I had to deal with tonight?”

“What was there a problem with, specifically?” Joanne asks, concerned.

“Well, the strawberry upside-down cake she made was horrific and that chocolate mousse almost made one family sick.” She cocks her head to the side before turning back to me and Joanne. This girl is out for Maddie and I’m pretty sure I know why. Jealousy is a senseless, yet vulgar feeling that makes people do crazy things.

“Were there any complaints about the other desserts?” I ask before anyone says anything else.

“No, I mean, there were no praises about them, but I guess they were okay.”

“Maddie?” Joanne is quite concerned. “I thought everything went smoothly. You told me it was all set.”

“I am, I mean, I was.” She shoots me a worried glance.

“Joanne, I made the cakes,” I admit.

All heads turn to me, their mouths gaping open.

“What, Rocco? Why are you doing Maddie’s job?” Joanna crosses her arms and cocks her head.

“Joanne, you ask her to make four almost impossible desserts in one day and even after they were destroyed, you didn’t offer to change the menus or offer a helping hand. I knew Maddie had her hands full before the sabotage,” I stress, looking at Nancy, “so I took it upon myself to make the cakes at my apartment and bring them in. I know it isn’t the proper way to do things, but it was necessary given the circumstances.”

“Wait a minute. You tasted them, Rocco,” Joanne says. “I watched you.”

“And they were damned good too.”

“Nancy? Are any of the customers who have complained still here?”

“No,” Nancy says, shifting her weight. “They… left. They didn’t stick around. They probably wanted to get out of here as quick as possible.”

“Did you get their information?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Why wasn’t I or Rocco informed immediately when there were so many complaints?”

“I thought…” Nancy’s face turns red with embarrassment when her ploy to sabotage Maddie backfires. “I thought I could handle it.”

“Did you?”

“Maybe I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

I look into her eyes and clench my jaw. “Nancy, I’m going to ask you something and I want a straight and honest answer. Your job here depends on it. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes,” she says in a demure voice.

“Did you destroy Maddie’s desserts last night?” I press my glare into her and wait for her to lie about it.

“No, I didn’t. I was just as shocked at the horrible mess as you were. I mean, who could have done such a thing?”

“Thank you, that will be all.”

I silently wish for Joanne to follow Nancy out of my office, leaving Maddie with me to continue the conversation she wanted to have in private, but Maddie is the first one to leave. I can’t blame her. In my heart, I know what she wants to tell me. I need to tell her as well, my feelings for her, my need to be around her, my desire to please her. But I need to take care of this first.

Chapter 9

MADDIE

I quickly leave Rocco’s office, not looking back until I’m out the front door and in a cab. Just as I get into my apartment, my phone goes off. I pull it from my purse and read a text from Rocco.

Meet me for a drink.

A drink? Should I? Isn’t this against company policy? He texts me again.

I’d really like to see you.

I smile at the idea.

Maybe continue our conversation before we were interrupted. Don’t feel bad about what happened. I will deal with Nancy.

I hesitate, but only for a moment. I want to meet him, but I’m not ready. I need time to let this Nancy thing play out and dissolve. I close my phone and turn off the ringer before piling myself into bed.

***

I get into the restaurant early to get started on the menu for the day. I like the quiet but it is short lived when I hear the front door open. I look at the clock and assume I will see or hear Joanne very soon. When Rocco walks into the kitchen, my heart speeds up and I look at the clock again.

“What brings you in so early?” I ask.

“Joanne has some personal business to attend to. I told her I would come in to be sure everything goes well.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes. Nothing to worry about.”

When he leans against the counter and watches me, my stomach begins to form a knot and an uneasy feeling creeps in.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” I say a little too quickly. “Everything is great.” I turn away from him to grab a pie tin, pretending not to see it right away so I can get my bearings about me. Why is he making me so nervous?

“I texted you last night.”

“I know, Rocco. I’m sorry I didn’t respond. I didn’t get them until this morning. I was so tired from what happened yesterday, I fell asleep as soon as I got home.”

“Maybe tonight?”

“Um, maybe.” I try to keep my voice upbeat but the way he is looking at me, I’m sure he can sense I am trying to put him off.

“Listen, Maddie. I don’t want to play games with you. I think I know what you wanted to tell me,” he says.

My heart speeds up another notch and I find myself fidgeting with the ingredients, not really knowing what I’m tossing together.

“I just want to let you know that I feel…”

“Good morning!” A bright and cheery Nancy bounces into the kitchen, interrupting Rocco’s confession at precisely the right time. She leans over the counter in front of Rocco as if he isn’t there and looks at me. “Can we talk, Maddie? Please?” She looks so sincere and almost lost.

I grab the opportunity, glancing at Rocco before I wipe my hands on my apron and I give all my attention to Nancy. Rocco turns away and walks out of the kitchen and my heart drops.

I’m not interested in what she has to say any longer. My main goal is to keep Rocco from confessing something I’m not ready to hear and I accomplished that. Now I feel crummy and want to make it right with him. My eyes trail after him as he disappears from sight and all I’m left with is Nancy.

“Listen,” Nancy continues.

“I want to sincerely apologize for the way I acted yesterday. I was jealous and I shouldn’t have been.”

“You’re sorry?”

“From the bottom of my heart.”

“For destroying my desserts?”

“Oh, no. For trying to get you into trouble with Joanne and Rocco. I didn’t destroy your desserts.”

“I know you did, Nancy.”

“I assure you, Maddie.” She is so convincing and sweet that I want to vomit. “If I knew who did that to you, I would have said something, but it wasn’t me. I will admit to trying to make you look bad in front of Rocco, only because I thought I liked him. But I can clearly see how you two feel about each other and I know when to back off.”

“You’re kidding, right?” I stop putting my pie filling together as I try to figure out what her angle is.

“Not at all. I want you to know that he is yours. I can see you are shy around him, but I think you should go for it. Rocco is a great catch,” she says, looking back at the door with enamor all over her face.

I do not believe her little act, but maybe she is right.

“So, why the change of heart?”

“I see the way he looks at you and I just wish I had that again.”

“Again?”

She nods with a solemn look in her eyes. “I was so in love once. He was my everything. When I lived back in Franklin, Minnesota, we ruled the town together.”

My heart begins to hurt for her as she unravels her love story gone wrong.

“What happened?”

“We were together for two years and he dumped me for Tanya Messinger.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too. Small town like that, you can’t get away from it. That’s why I moved out here. I thought it was time to work on my acting career.”

“How long have you been in New York?”

“Long enough to know that it doesn’t happen overnight, or within a few months, or possibly never.”

Maybe I am a little hard on Nancy. I begin to sympathize with her. It can’t be easy changing your whole life because of a breakup.

“Can we get together after work, Nancy? Maybe we can come up with a plan.”

“I’d like that,” she says, smiling.

I smile back, praying I am making the right decision.

My shift ends a few hours before Nancy’s does so I take the courage I have worked up through the day and I find myself looking for Rocco’s name on the list of buttons on his apartment building. I push the buzzer next to his name and I have to fight myself to stay put long enough to justify why I’m there.

“Hello?” I hear his voice over the speaker.

I open my mouth to talk, but nothing comes out. This is wrong. What am I doing? I back away from the speaker and scurry down the stairs to the street.

“Maddie?” His voice is much clearer.

I freeze and close my eyes. My heart pounds through my chest and my mouth dries up. When I turn around, Rocco is standing in the doorway, his face smiling at me. I slowly walk back to him with my hands balled up together.

Chapter 10

ROCCO

When I open the main door and see Maddie there, my heart speeds up. I never imagined I’d get a chance with her.

“Maddie, come in. Please.”

I hold the door open for her until she brushes against me as she walks into the building. I walk her up to the second floor and invite her into my apartment. When she hesitates before entering, I know why she is here. I smile again as I try to play it cool.

“Would you like a drink?”

“No, thank you. Actually, yes. Wine or beer would be great.”

She follows me to the kitchen and I hand her a cold bottle of beer. I watch her as she struggles to open it then tip it back, drinking about half the bottle.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. I am, I just…”

“Come here. Sit with me.” I cover her hands with mine and I can feel her tremble. “We don’t have to talk.” I lean to her and I kiss her forehead. My lips linger on her skin as I pick up the familiar scent of her shampoo. I close my eyes and inhale deeply. “God, you smell good,” I whisper. I kiss the side of her face, inhaling deeply again. I hear her breath catch when I slide my fingers up her arm. I kiss her cheek as I raise her face to mine. I watch her open her gorgeous brown eyes and they penetrate me to my soul.

It’s hard to tear away from them, but I do, only to look at her lips, so full and luscious. She parts them slightly and they beg me to kiss them. I cup my hands around her face, giving her a moment to pull away, but she doesn’t. Her breathing is shorter and faster. Her eyes don’t leave my face.

I savor the moment before my lips touch hers. That moment of angst knowing I will finally get what I want. Knowing I will feel her lips touch mine. I will taste her tongue on mine. I will feel her close to me again. I pray she doesn’t pull away from me this time.

“Maddie,” I whisper. The feel of her lip brushes against mine and she leans in, pressing her mouth into me. I lose the ability to breathe for a moment, realizing I finally have her here with me, the way I need her to be. I wrap my arms around her and deepen the kiss. The sweetest gasp escapes her and it penetrates me to my core. My mouth opens and is greeted with the tip of her tongue as it glides along my top lip. My cock jumps to attention and wants to take control but I subdue it with a deep breath before I allow myself to go further.

She slides her hands around my body, collecting my energy as if feeding her own arousal with it. She pulls me to her as her mouth gets greedy for more of my tongue. The heat between us rises quickly. She lets go and I open my eyes, immediately searching for more. She leans back pulling up her top over her head and looking at me for approval. I barely blink as my eyes cascade over her sweet, milky white skin. Her small breasts are cradled behind delicate material I want to rip off with my teeth.

She is the most exquisite creature I had ever seen, so why do I hesitate to touch her? She isn’t bold and crass. She isn’t pushy and needy. She doesn’t force herself on me. Her eyes stay with mine. I feel differently with her. I want to protect her, love her and yet keep her pure. I raise my hand to her face, my fingers sliding along her jawline, following her neck down to her breast and I circle the roundness behind that delicate material. I hook my fingers around each of the straps that hold tight to her shoulders, pulling them down her arms slowly. I watch her face as they inch down, threatening to expose her to my eyes for the first time. I see the insecurity in her eyes, clouded with arousal and an awakening I have never experienced seeing in a woman’s eyes before this moment. I pause, the top of her bra dangling on the hardness of her nipples. She tries so hard to control her breathing and I love that.

“Maddie.” I say her name with a soft delicateness. She looks down to my chest, but she isn’t focused. What is she thinking? I need her soul to be here as well as her body. This can’t be just sex. Not with Maddie. “Talk to me.”

“No,” she says, barely audible. “No talking. Just,” she struggles, swallowing hard, “touch me.”

I will, baby. Just let me see your soul so I can. Let me in.

She closes her eyes and leans to me. I know she wants me to kiss her. I know she wants more, but where will that leave us afterward? Why am I feeling like this? The woman of my dreams sits in front of me, half naked, offering herself to me and I am apprehensive?

I lean into her and kiss her forehead. She knows it isn’t going to happen but she needs to know why. Her lip trembles as she looks away.

“What is wrong?” she asks quietly. “Don’t you want me?”

“I don’t want it this way.”

“Am I not pretty enough? Like your other lovers?”

“Oh, Maddie. That’s just it. You are so much more.”

Tears spring to her eyes and I can’t seem to get out the right words before she grabs her shirt and pulls it back over her head.

“Listen to me, Maddie, please,” I beg as she stands and turns away. “I haven’t seen anyone since I met you. Don’t you see? I want so much more, with you.”

“Don’t patronize me. I might be a virgin, but I’m not stupid.”

Her words strike me and leave me speechless. I watch as she puts herself back together and quickly leaves my apartment without another look in my direction. The urge to run after her hits me after I hear my front door close, but when I run after her she is nowhere to be seen.

“Damn it.”

I close my door and lean against the wall.

Chapter 11

MADDIE

Maybe I am overacting, but I couldn’t hold back the tears. I couldn’t let him see me cry because of my insecurities. The idea that I don’t hold up to Rocco’s expectations hurts me. I have imagined the women in his life, how beautiful they were, how confident they moved. I want so much more with him, but I know that is the first step. A man like Rocco Santoro lives differently than most. He’s not like other guys I have dated.

My thoughts are interrupted by a knock on my door. Rocco? I wipe my face and look in the mirror. With a grimace, I walk quickly to the door and open it, only to be surprised to see Nancy standing in my doorway.

“Nancy? I thought we were going to meet for drinks later? How did you get my address?”

“I sort of looked it up in Joanne’s computer. I’m sorry, don’t be mad,” she pleads, her hand stretch out to me. “I really need a friend right now. I know we didn’t start out on the right foot, but I was hoping I could just talk. Things are worse for me than I let on.”

As much as I don’t want to hear this, I step back and force a smile, opening my door further and inviting her in.

“Thank you so much. I sometimes feel so alone in this big city.” She sits on my couch and I join her, staying on the edge and at the other end. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything. You look like you’ve been crying.”

“Ah,” I say, waving my hand in the air. “I was watching some of those sappy videos online. They always get to me.”

“You have to tell me how things went with Rocco. Did you tell him how you feel?”

She seems so interested, like a friend should be. And yes, she is the reason I bit the bullet and went to see him. But I feel funny telling her about my personal life. I feel funny that she is even in my apartment. Funny? No, violated. I need time to comprehend her reasoning for her change of heart.

“I, um, I haven’t found the right opportunity yet.”

“Oh. That’s weird. Weren’t you with him tonight?”

“What? How did you know I was…”

“He lives around the corner from my favorite coffee shop. They have the best coffee in the city,” she admits. “I thought I saw you go in. That’s why I had to find out what happened.” Her excitement is too much. I get up and walk to the kitchen with so many questions in my head. I ask only one.

“Would you like some coffee?”

“No, thank you. I can’t stay long.”

“So we aren’t going for drinks later?”

“No,” she says, shaking her head.

I grab a water from the refrigerator and rejoin her. “Well, I was going to talk to Rocco, but he was getting ready to go out with some friends. I didn’t want to bother him with it until I had more time.”

Since when did I lie so much? I was hoping I was at least convincing.

“I definitely think you should go for it.” Her smile fades and what excitement she did have disappears from her face. She turns away and sniffles. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here.”

“Well, you’re here now. If you need to talk, you can talk to me.”

“It’s my father. I’m so worried about him.”

“What’s wrong?”

“He’s in trouble with some really bad men.”

I start to wonder if I should have asked. But I listen intently, just the same.

“He has a bit of a gambling problem but always knew when to stop. I don’t understand what happened this time. He was invited to a private game in some guy’s basement, some friend of a friend. Stakes got high and he got in over his head.” She stops and looks at me. “Ya know, I think I’ll take that drink now. Anything with alcohol.”

I raise my eyebrows at the curtness of her request and got up from the couch to retrieve one of the three beers I have in my refrigerator. When I return to hand it to her, she continues her story.

“I went home to visit my parents last weekend and I overheard my mom talking on the phone. She is sick with worry. That’s why I took on a third job. I need to help him.”

“The restaurant is your third job?”

“Yes. I still don’t think it’s enough.” She starts to sob and my heart breaks for her.

“How did he let himself get so far in debt?”

“I don’t know. I try to be strong and give what I can, but it’s not enough.”

“Maybe if he talks to them…”

“He has. They want their money. If they don’t,” she swigs a few big swallows of her beer and sets it down on the stand. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here. I didn’t mean to bother you with my problems.” She gets up and starts to leave but I can’t let her walk out.

“Nancy, wait. Please. Maybe I can help you work out something.”

“There isn’t really anything to work out. He needs to pay this by the end of the week. I can’t even begin to make a quarter what he needs. I’m going to quit my job tomorrow and go back to Minnesota. I was selfish to leave.”

I hesitate, then I reach up and touch her arm. “Let’s talk first. Come, sit.”

She wipes her tears from her face and walks back to the couch to sit.

“Keep your job.”

“Why?”

“You’ll need it to pay me back.”

“What?” Her face dropped. “You’re kidding, right?”

“No. I’ve been through hard times too. It’s nice to have someone in your corner. I want you to help your father.”

“You don’t have that kind of money. How can you.…”

“I have some savings built up. I can loan it to you, if you promise that you will repay me.”

“I… don’t know what to say.”

“I want to talk to your parents first, if that is okay. But I trust that you will do the right thing and make this right.”

“Oh, my God. I can’t believe this.” She lurches at, hugging me tightly, crying hysterically. “I will call my father tonight and set it all up. Thank you so much. I knew you were a good person. I’m just so sorry I tried to get you fired before. I was so wrong.”

“That is all behind us now. Let’s just get through this next hurdle. I’ll go to the bank in the morning. I can get you fifty thousand.” I watch her face as her smile dissipates.

“Fifty thousand?” she repeats, troubled.

“It’s almost all that I have. Nancy? What’s wrong?”

“It’s not enough. It’s not even close!” She stands up and looks around, confused and bewildered.

“How much does he need?”

“Two,” she says, barely audible.

“Two-hundred-thousand dollars?!”

“I’m sorry.” She covers her mouth and runs out before I can stop her.

Chapter 12

ROCCO

I walk into the restaurant and I see Joanne working diligently at her desk as I pass by her office.

“Good morning, Rocco” she calls out.

“Morning,” I reply as I step back to poke my head in the doorway.

“You’re here early.”

“Thought I would get a jump on the inventory.” It’s a lie. My main hope is that I run into Maddie, even though I know it is her day off. “Want some coffee?” She doesn’t answer, which tells me she is already absorbed back into her work. I smile and continue down the hallway.

A few hours later as I am counting inventory in the stockroom, I am engrossed with thoughts of Maddie; the way she kissed me, her perfect silhouette as she peeled her top off her body for me, her eyes as she craved for me to touch her. I was stupid to turn her away, but I didn’t want it to be like every other encounter. Maddie is special. She needs to be loved, made love to and admired. I am not sure if I can give that to her but I sure want to try.

“Rocco?” A demure voice floats through the air and I turn to see her standing there.

I step down from the ladder and walk to the doorway she stands in without saying another word. I don’t pretend to know why she is here on her day off, but I secretly hope it is for me.

“Good morning. I was just thinking about you.” I take the sight of her in, concentrating on the subtle movements her body makes.

“Can I talk to you, Rocco?”

“Of course.” I set my paperwork down on the closest box in the stockroom and I give her my full attention.

“Privately?”

I study her face and nod, leading her through the kitchen and into my office, closing the door behind her. “What is it?” I ask, leaning against my desk in front of her.

“I wanted to apologize for running off on you. I didn’t mean to.”

“Why did you? I thought we were getting along so well.”

“I felt… rejected, I guess.” She looks down at the ring on her middle finger she continuously rotates.

“I didn’t tell you to leave. I like having you close to me, Maddie.” The hint of a smile on her lips is refreshing. “In fact, if you are okay with it, I’d like to see you again.”

“You would?” she asks, broadening that beautiful smile. She looks up at me and the sparkle returns.

“I would.” I take her hands in mine and I pull her closer. “I don’t want you to feel rejected. It was never my intention to cause such a feeling.”

“To say that I really like you doesn’t seem to satisfy how I feel about you. There is a connection between us and I don’t know what to do with it. I’ve never felt it before, and,” she licks her lips before taking a deep breath. This is a struggle for her to admit. “Well, I know that you have, I mean, you know your way around,” she closes her eyes and struggles some more.

“Maddie, I know what you are trying to say. I have had my share of lovers, yes. But nothing like this. You are different. I was okay with not getting serious about anyone. I was just fine casually dating and not worrying about how I acted or what they thought or what my next move was going to be. When I met you, all that changed. I want so much more now.”

“I just wasn’t sure if I measured up against the other women…”

“Don’t,” I interrupt. “Don’t compare yourself to my past, please. It is I who should worry about measuring up. Before I met you, relationships didn’t mean anything to me. I’m not even sure if I know how to be in one. But I would love to try.”

I pull her closer to me and surround her neck with my hands as I kiss her lips. The tingling sensation returns and I deepen my kiss. An arousal begins deep in my groin as I inhale deeply, her familiar scent intoxicating me once again.

She pulls away from me and turns away, covering her mouth with the back of her hand.

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Talk to me, Maddie.” I close the gap between us, my hands on her arms and my face in her hair. “Don’t turn me away.”

“I want to be with you. I just, I love my job, and you and Joanne have been so good to me. I don’t want to jeopardize what I have been given for what I want.”

“I can talk to her. My sister is a stubborn woman, yes, but not unreasonable.”

“She was very adamant on what she wanted and she is not the kind of person to back down. She put these rules in place for this very reason. You aren’t going to convince her.”

I turn her to me and kiss her again. I need to convince Maddie first. I’ll worry about Joanne later.

Maddie doesn’t pull away. I let her into my senses as my tongue pushes into her mouth and twirls around her tongue. My arousal enflames with greed and I move my hands down her body pulling her into me. The small gasps she lets out pierces me and I want more. I feel her hands on my back pulling me tighter to her and I move my hand to her breast, rubbing her, encircling her and feeling her nipple tighten beneath my palm. Her breathing gets quicker, harder and restless. The side of my desk pushes against me as she presses her body into my growing cock.

“You feel so good,” I mumble through pressed lips, my hunger for her growing rapidly.

In the back of my mind, I know this is where we were headed last night. I was able to diffuse it then, but now, is there a point of no return? I don’t want this to be like the others. I want to savor her, but she is pulling me in deeper and deeper. My hands work underneath her top, sliding along bare skin. I find the strap of her bra and immediately unclasp it. Another gasp escapes her, fueling me to push further. My desire to be inside her strengthens. I cup her breasts underneath her bra and her hardened nipples taunt me. I want to feel them against my tongue. My thoughts swirl around me and I pick her up and walk to the other side of the room to the couch.

Before reaching my destination, a knock on the door interrupts us, stopping me dead in my tracks. I let Maddie down and she scrambles to put herself back together. I quickly direct Maddie into my closet and quietly close the door before moving to my desk chair.

“Come in,” I say as I sit down.

Joanne opens the door and looks around. “Is everything okay?”

“Of course. Why do you ask?”

“Your door is closed, for one. Even when you were… entertaining… you hardly closed the door.”

“I had a personal phone call earlier.”

“Okay. Do you have the list of contractors for the remodel?”

“I do. I will email them over to you right now.”

“Thank you.” She looks around, not completely believing my phone call story. “I want to get them started early next week.”

“If you want, I can start making calls this morning.”

“That’s okay. I’ll take care of it.”

“Is there anything else?” I ask, waiting for her to leave.

“No. I have a meeting after lunch with some potential investors, so I’ll be busy for couple of hours, but we can go over everything tonight.”

“Investors? For the restaurant?”

“You didn’t think we could fund this remodel on our own, did you?”

“There are financing options. I thought you were looking into them?”

“It was a possible option, but when you have the right investor, why bother?”

“I wasn’t aware of this new development.”

“Nothing is set in stone yet. I’ll have more details tonight.”

I sit there, motionless, as she turns and leaves. After a few moments, I rush to the office door and look out, closing the door again and letting Maddie out of the closet.

“Sorry,” I say.

“This is what I’m talking about, Rocco. I don’t want to do this. Sneaking around is too dangerous.”

“It will all be worth it to be with you.” I cup her face and kiss her again, lingering on her lips and just enjoying the feeling. “Have dinner with me.”

“I don’t know. I think it’s too risky.”

“Private dinner, just the two of us. I know a great out-of-the-way place we can go.”

After a slight hesitation, she smiles and nods.

“Okay,” she says. “I have to go right now, but I’ll have dinner with you.” She warms me with her smile and after one more beautiful kiss, she sneaks out, leaving me with more moments to ponder over until I see her again.

It is just before the lunch hour, so I walk through the dining area to check on stocked items. Nancy smiles and waves.

“Good morning,” she says with a smile.

“You are chipper today.”

“I was able to spend some time with Maddie and I found out just how amazing she really is. I had her all wrong and I feel terrible for trying to get her into trouble. Anyway, we bonded and she is even helping me out with a small problem I have been having. I think we are going to be good friends.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“I even mentioned that I think you and her would be dynamite together,” she says.

“Did you?” I hold a chuckle back.

“I hope she at least gives you a chance.”

“You know the rules.”

“Sometimes rules are made to be broken. Besides, you’d be so much better for her than that other guy.”

“Other guy?” The thought feels like a punch in my stomach. “I wasn’t aware she was seeing anyone.”

“Well, I don’t know how serious they are, but I do know he is quite the dominating type. Are you interested in her? I can tell her if you want.”

“No, no that’s okay. I’d rather keep things professional.”

“Oh, okay. Sorry.” She starts to walk away with a bounce in her step, leaving me there questioning her intentions.

Just as Joanne appears from her office carrying a stack of clean tablecloths, Nancy stops and turns back to me.

“I almost forgot. Where is Maddie?” Nancy asks.

I get a feeling in my gut that this isn’t going to end well. “Today is her day off.”

“Oh. I hope everything is all right.”

“As far as I know, it is.”

“Well, when I saw her coming out of your office this morning, I assumed she was here. I’ll just call her later.” Nancy turns and walks into the kitchen, whistling a happy tune. I glance over and see the daggers Joanne is throwing at me with her eyes.

Chapter 13

MADDIE

“Hi, Daddy.”

“Pumpkin! How are you? How’s New York?”

“Really great. My job is amazing and the people are super nice.”

“Why do I find that hard to believe?”

“I mean, the people I work with. I don’t do much out of work. I have devoted myself to the restaurant and I love it there.”

“That is so good to hear.”

“Which is why I’m calling. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Go ahead. What is it?”

I hated lying to people, especially my father. He and I always had a great relationship and I don’t remember ever lying to him about anything. It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be.

“I have an opportunity to invest in the restaurant. It’s an Italian place, very well-known and prestigious. They are offering me a buy in as an investor which could mean bigger profits for me in the future.”

“You don’t know anything about investing.”

“They have good lawyers and I have a co-worker who is helping me understand it all.”

“Is this person invested?”

“Yes. So, you know they won’t steer me wrong. They want it to succeed as well.”

“How much is this investment?”

“Two hundred thousand.”

“That’s a lot of money, Maddie.”

“I know. I have some in my savings.”

“No, don’t use that. That is for your future. I can come out next week to meet with the investors. If I think it’s a sound deal, I’ll front you the money.”

“That’s just it, Dad. I need it today.”

“Today?”

“I thought I could do this on my own, but they don’t work in payment plans.”

His hesitation is hopeful. When my father hesitates, he almost always says yes. “Okay, but I want to be copied on all paperwork as soon as you get it.”

“Of course. Thank you, Dad.”

“I’ll transfer the money this afternoon.”

“Thank you so much. I will call you after everything is set.”

“I’m trusting you on this.”

“Yes, sir. I won’t let you down. This is going to be a good thing.”

“Talk to you soon. I love you.”

“I love you, Daddy.”

As soon as I hang up with him, a pang of guilt consumes me. Please, let me be sure I’m doing the right thing. My phone rings and Nancy’s name comes up on the caller id.

“Nancy, hi.”

“Did you get it?” she asks, panic in her voice.

“I will have it by this afternoon.”

“Oh, thank God.”

“Meet me after work this evening. I’ll be at that little bar on the corner. We can talk about the details there.”

“Okay. I’ll see you there around eleven. Thank you so much, Maddie. I don’t know what I would do without you. You are an angel.”

She hangs up and I try to hang on to her words for self-assurance.

When ten-thirty rolls around, I pick up my purse and I start to the door. Just as I open it, I see Rocco standing on the other side, his fist raised in the air, ready to knock.

“Damn good timing,” he says, smiling.

“Actually, it isn’t. I’m on my way out.”

“Want some company?”

“I… can’t. I have to take care of some things. I’m sorry. What are you doing here anyway?”

“I was hoping we could talk.”

“Can I take a rain check? Maybe lunch tomorrow?”

“Lunch, sure.”

“I’m sorry, but I have to go. Walk me out?”

He does, but silently. He seems bothered by my curtness. I want to ease his mind, but that involves time that I don’t have at the moment. I will make it better tomorrow.

We reach the street and I hail a cab.

“Can I drop you some place?”

“No. That’s okay. But thank you.” As soon as the cab slows to a stop, I jump in and close my door before I have to answer any of Rocco’s questions. I feel bad not telling him what I’m doing, but the less he knows the better.

Nancy is already in the bar when I arrive. She is sitting at a table with an older gentleman, who is quite good looking and dressed very well. At first, I’m not sure if he is there with her, or if she is being flirtatious. My stomach flips at the thought this guy might be the man she has to pay off. I don’t want to deal with them directly so I dart off to the side and pull out my phone.

I’m almost there, I text her.

Okay. I’m here now.

Are you alone?

No. I brought my father. I thought you should meet him since you are the one who is saving his life.

I smile, pocket my phone and walk to them.

“Hello,” I say, as I approach them.

“Maddie!” Nancy jumps out of her chair and throws her arms around me. I glance at the man as he stands, his eyes squinting as he smiles at me. “This is my father, Joseph. Dad, this is Maddie.”

“It is so very nice to meet you, Maddie,” he says softly.

I hold out my hand to shake his, but instead he grabs my wrist, pulls me to him and puts his arms around me.

Chapter 14

MADDIE

“I’m sorry,” Nancy says when he finally lets me go. “He is the touchy feely type, but harmless, I assure you.”

“I like to hug. What can I say, Nancy?” he says, shrugging his shoulders.

“It’s okay. My family is like that too.”

“Let me buy you a drink, Maddie” he says, quickly as the bartender approaches.

“Thank you. A vodka and cranberry, please.”

“I will be right back, Maddie. I have to use the ladies’ room.”

I give her a ‘don’t you dare leave me alone with your father’ look, but she smiles and turns away. “Please, get to know each other.”

She walks off before I can say anything more and leaves me with her very good-looking father. Although he doesn’t look anything like her, he seems genuine and very kind. He is just a little over the top. It makes me wonder how a man like this could possibly get himself into such trouble.

“Nancy told me what you offered, and I can’t thank you enough. You are truly a good person.”

“I was raised to try to help others. I just hope this will help. Do you have a plan on how to repay this debt? This isn’t my money. I had to lie to my father to get the money. He thinks he is helping me invest in a deal that doesn’t exist.”

He looks at me and shakes his head as if in awe at my kindness. Next thing I know, his arms are around me again. “I just can’t thank you enough. You have saved my life.” He squeezes me tightly before letting go.

“Thank you,” I mumble. I look out to the back of the bar, wondering where Nancy is when her father turns my face to his and kisses me on the lips. My eyes are wide and we are frozen for the longest moment in my life.

“No, thank you,” he says, letting me go.

The bartender walks to us with my drink and as soon as he sets it down, I grab it and hold it in front of me putting an extra chair between me and Nancy’s father.

The entire night is odd for me but I need to stick around to be sure what his intentions were on paying me back and what kind of counseling he is planning on getting for his addiction. Maybe it is forward of me to ask, but I did just front two-hundred-thousand dollars to a complete stranger and his daughter who, just a few days ago, tried to get me fired. I’m insane.

I open my purse and I start to pull out the envelope full of cash. Looking at each of them, I realize this is the moment of truth. How well do I trust these people that I can hand over so much money with no way of guaranteeing I will get it back? My hesitation makes them uneasy.

“Can we do this someplace more private?” Nancy asks, putting her hand on my arm. “I don’t feel right here.”

I push it back into my purse. “The restaurant is just down the street. We could go there.” I look at the time on my cell phone. “It should be closed by now. I have a key.”

“Perfect,” she says, getting up.

When we get inside the restaurant and I turn off the alarm, we sit at a table close to the front. I hesitate before pulling out the envelope and I feel Nancy’s hand on my arm again.

“Maddie? I know it’s a lot of money, and I assure you that my dad and I are so very grateful for what you are doing. Please know that we will both work really hard to pay you back, to pay your father back.”

“I know. It’s just, not easy to do this.”

I take a big breath and hand the envelope to her father.

“You have no idea what this means to us,” says Nancy.

“If you’ll excuse me.” I stand up and grab my purse. “I’ll be right back.”

I walk into the bathroom and just stand there, looking at my reflection in the mirror. “Please tell me I’m doing a good thing. Don’t let this bite me in the ass.”

I wash my face with a little cold water and pat it dry before walking back out. Nancy is sitting quietly alone with her hands folded in her lap.

“Where is your dad?” I ask, looking around.

“He had to go already.”

“Why the long face?” And why is it making me nervous?

“I just miss him. That’s all. I sometimes wonder if he only contacts me when it is convenient for him.”

“Parents can be funny sometimes.”

“Thanks again, Maddie. You really came through for me. I promise I’ll work it off.”

“I’m just glad I could help.”

We decide to call it a night, promising to see each other at work the next day and I lock up after she leaves.

When I get home, I grab the pile of mail I had thrown on the desk as I left. I pull out a large manila envelope. Walking to the refrigerator, I grab one of the last two beers and I walk into my room. I plop down on my bed, looking at the envelope.

That’s odd, there’s no postmark, no stamp.

I open it and pull the contents out. My heart drops down into the pit of my stomach as I look at a picture of Rocco and me in a heated embrace on a glossy eight-by-ten photograph. My breathing is shallow. What the hell? I can’t tell where we are. The close-up of our faces takes up the entire picture. I slide it to the back and look at the next one showing his hand underneath my shirt. I glance at the floor next to my bed. It is the same shirt I wore earlier today in his office. The next one is a similar embrace but in front of the couch he carried me to. The passion in our faces, the heat in our kiss, these photographs show it all. My fingers loosen and my head gets dizzy as the pictures fall to the floor. I feel a warmth flood over me. Who would do this? I look down at the pictures scattered on my carpet.

“I have to talk to Joanne before someone tries to use these against me or Rocco.”

Chapter 15

ROCCO

“Hey, Rocco.”

I look up from my work and frown when I see Nancy standing in my doorway.

“Nancy,” I say, bluntly. I turn back to the computer.

“Can I talk to you?”

“Depends. Are you here to try to sabotage someone again?”

She walks in and sits in the chair across from my desk. “I want to apologize for that. I was jealous, and I really had no reason to be. I’ve talked to Maddie and we are good. We actually went out the other night and made amends. I like her,” she nods.

“Well, good. It’s nice to know you are able to work through any differences you had.” I hesitate, waiting for her to continue, but she sits there and looks at me with a solemn expression on her face. “So, what can I do for you?” I ask, when she doesn’t offer anything more.

“I really don’t know how to, or if I should, bring it up. I’ve always liked you and I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Never mind. It’s just going to look like I’m trying to get her again. I should go.” She gets up and starts to walk out. I’m skeptical, but maybe if I hear what she has to say, I can decipher a truth versus a lie.

“Nancy. It is obviously bothering you if you came in to tell me. Come back over and sit.”

When she finally sits back down after a few moments of hesitation, she presses her lips together and looks down at her hands.

“I just don’t want any problems, but I’m worried that Maddie might not have the best of intentions in her relationship with you.”

“Relationship?” So much for keeping it under wraps.

“Yeah. I know about you two, and I was so happy when I heard. I know we didn’t get off on the right foot. That’s why I… kind of encouraged her to talk to you. I think that is why she went to see you the other night.”

“So, you knew.”

“I honestly thought she had good intentions. I thought she really liked you.”

“She… does,” I reiterate with skepticism.

“Just keep your guard up, please?”

“Nancy. Stop beating around the bush. If you have something to say, then say it. Otherwise, stop wasting my time.”

I watch as she purses her lips and fidgets with a button on her top.

“I was supposed to meet her at Manhattan’s Best last night but I called and canceled. Something came up, however, it finished early so I decided to go after all and when I got there I overheard her talking to someone and it wasn’t good.”

“I’m sure whatever you heard was taken out of context.”

“She said something about going to Joanne, something about an investment? She is going to tell her you seduced her and pushed yourself on her. I’m afraid she wants you out of the way.”

“That is ridiculous.”

“She has pictures, Rocco.”

“Maddie wouldn’t do something like that. She doesn’t have it in her.”

“I didn’t want to believe it either, so I stuck around in the shadows until I saw this.”

She pulls out her phone and presses a couple of buttons. When she hands it to me and shows me a picture of Maddie in an embrace with another man I find myself still skeptical, examining the picture, looking for some signs of Photoshopping or Maddie pulling away, or something. A feeling in the pit of my stomach forms and I begin to believe Nancy. Apparently, my face shows it.

“I’m so sorry. I know how you feel about Maddie.”

I text the picture of Maddie and this man to my phone and hand Nancy’s back to her.

“Maybe I’m wrong,” she says. “Maybe the embrace meant… nothing.”

“Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I’ll handle it.”

She nods and leaves quietly, leaving me with new thoughts and doubts.

I walk into the kitchen and watch Maddie as she puts the finishing touches on an anniversary cake for a party later that evening. I can’t help but see her in a new, vindictive light. Shaking my head, I try to stay positive until I hear her side of the story. There has to be a good explanation.

“Maddie?”

She glances up at me and smiles. “Oh, hey! Hang on, I’m almost finished.” She swirls the pastry tip up and down gracefully over the top of the cake and steps back to look at the finished product. “What’s up?” she asks, setting down the bag.

“We need to talk, now.” I clench my jaw and look at her through heavy lids.

“Is everything okay?”

“Not really, no.”

She follows me out of the kitchen, grabbing her purse and I lead her into my office.

“Close the door.”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?”

I glare at her and she closes it.

“What’s wrong?”

I sit down, contemplating my words carefully.

“Rocco, you’re scaring me.”

“Do you have anything you need to tell me?”

“Like, what?”

I can see her growing uneasy. She does have something to hide. Damn her!

“I know about the picture, Rocco.” She quickly picks up her purse and pulls out a large envelope. “Did you get them too? I didn’t know what to do about them.” She hands me the envelope. Without another word, I open it and pull out the pictures of our intimacy. I look at them carefully and look back at her. I feel disgust build.

“Is this how you were going to do it?”

“Do… what?” she asks with a fragile voice.

“Blackmail me?”

“What?” She shakes her head. “What are you talking about? These were in my mailbox yesterday. I don’t know who sent them.”

I look at the pictures again and see the angle of the couch on my wall. Looking around my office, I walk to a lamp on the opposite wall and examine it. When I see the small device stuck to the side of it, I grab hold and tear it off, holding it out to her.

“Rocco, I didn’t do this.”

“Who is the guy?”

“What guy?” I pull out my phone.

When she sees the picture from Nancy’s phone she steps back. “She is trying to sabotage me again.”

“Who?”

“Nancy.”

“Nancy? Really? Why now?”

“This is her father. He was with us when I met her the other night.”

“So, you are fucking her father?”

“No! She set this whole thing up to make me look bad!”

She watches me intently as I try to decipher the information. All fingers point to Maddie, but I still have a hard time believing it. So pure, so innocent. I guess the quiet ones are always the dangerous ones.

“Don’t you believe me?”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

I drop the pictures on my desk and walk out the door, leaving her there.

Chapter 16

MADDIE

Nancy walks into the kitchen and all I can do is look at her.

“Maddie? Are you okay?” She walks over to where I am sitting, concern in her eyes.

“I don’t know. I can’t figure out what is happening.”

“Maybe I can help.”

“No, that’s okay. I think you have done enough.”

“What? You’re mad at me. Are you mad at me? Did you try to text me? I lost my phone last night. If you tried, I wouldn’t have known.”

“You lost your phone?”

“Yes. I had it before I went to the bar but I can’t find it.”

So, maybe she wasn’t the one who took the picture of her father mauling me at the bar. Then who was it? I rub my head as I try to think back to that night. There were several other people in the bar when we were there. I didn’t recognize any of them.

“I have to figure this out on my own.” I want to trust her. She is actually the only friend I have right now. I look up at her and notice the sweatshirt she is wearing. “Is that my hoodie?”

“Oh,” she says, looking at her arms. “Yeah. I’m sorry. I was cold this morning when I got here and I forgot mine. You must have left it here. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Oh,” I shook my head, trying to dismiss the odd behavior. “No, I don’t mind. Keep it for the rest of your shift.” I swore I wore it last night to the bar, but I don’t remember bringing it to work.

“Thanks,” she smiles. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

“I think I might be in trouble.”

“Why? What happened?”

“I can’t talk right now. I think I need to take some time off. Can we talk later?”

“Sure, any time. You know that.”

I nod at her and walk out of the kitchen. After approving it with Joanne, I take the rest of the day off to figure things out.

I stop by the bar and I try to re-enact what happened. I question the bartender, but I wasn’t any further in finding out who is behind this.

“There is a camera mounted in the corner.” I point to it with some enthusiasm.

“That hasn’t worked in almost a year. I guess they just keep it up there to make it look like the place is being monitored. I’m sorry I couldn’t be more helpful,” he says.

“It’s okay. Thank you for talking to me.”

“Looks like you could use a drink.”

“I’ll take a glass of wine. Thank you.”

I sit at the end of the bar and watch the other patrons. The only thing I can do is wait and see what the blackmailer wants from me. I pull out my phone and pull up Rocco’s name.

Can you break away? I really need to see you.

When he doesn’t respond, I figure he is still angry. I finish my wine and take a cab home. I plop down on the couch, closing my eyes for a moment. That moment turned into several hours. I wake up to my cell phone going off. By the time I retrieve it from the couch cushions, it stops. I have five missed calls and four texts. I hit the text notifications. They are all from Rocco. I smile until I read them.

Where are you?

I need to know now!

Call me as soon as you can. The restaurant is destroyed.

Maddie, please answer me.

I jump up and quickly look at the missed calls. All but one is from Rocco. The other is from Joanne. I grab a sweatshirt from my room and run out the door.

“Maddie!” Rocco’s voice is urgent over the phone.

“What happened?”

“Thank God you’re okay. I don’t know. The whole place is up in flames.”

The distress in his voice breaks my heart.

“Is everyone okay?”

“As far as I know. I’m here now.”

“I’m on my way.”

The cab driver can’t drive fast enough as I keep my eyes open for signs of the news. When I detect billowing smoke rising up into the sky my heart stops. I can only stare as we round the corner to the restaurant.

“I’m sorry. I cannot go any further.” The cab driver stops the car and I quickly pay him before I jump out and run the two blocks to the flames.

I feel the heat on my face before I notice Rocco on a nearby street corner. Bistro Italiano has flames shooting from each window, threatening and lashing out at the firefighters as they battle the flames with three separate blasts of water.

Rocco sees me before I get to him and he runs to me, throwing his arms around me.

“What happened, Rocco?” I ask, staring at the flames in horror.

“No one knows. Joanne is with the police now.”

“Actually, she is here,” I tell him, nodding to Joanne and two police officers walking to us.

“Joanne, did you find anything?” he asks.

Joanne looks directly at me. “Yes. We did.”

“Maddie Levere?”

“Yes?”

“I am Officer Billows. This is Officer Wright. Can we ask you a few questions?”

“Of course. Anything.”

“Were you here, at the restaurant after hours?”

I feel my stomach hollow out. I feel the insinuation in his voice. I can’t lie.

“I was. Two nights ago.”

“I understand you were given a key for access on days you begin your shift before anyone else is here.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Is it part of your normal work load to be in the restaurant after it closes?”

“No, sir.”

“Why were you here then?”

“I had… forgotten some recipes I was working on, so I stopped by to get them. But that was two nights ago.”

“Were you alone?”

“Yes.”

I didn’t want to lie but pulling Nancy and her father into this wouldn’t have done any good. They had enough to deal with.

“What about earlier this evening?”

“I wasn’t here. I was home. I actually left work a little early because I wasn’t feeling well.” I cast a remorseful eye at Joanne, but she is angry and I feel like it is directed at me. I quickly look down at the ground. Why is she angry at me?

“The surveillance footage shows someone entering the establishment around one this morning, staying for approximately thirty minutes and fleeing just before flames were detected.”

“Surveillance?” I look up at the officer. How the hell did they get footage?

“Yes. The suspect is a small-framed woman with a college hoodie.” He nods at Joanne and she hands me her phone. A dark and pixilated video shows a person walking into the restaurant from a camera pointing at the door. When the person gets closer to the camera before disappearing from view it clearly shows my college hoodie.

“Is this your hoodie, Miss Levere?”

“Yes, but it’s not me!” Do I dare mention Nancy’s name? With our history and the fact that I just lied about being alone the night before, it sure didn’t look good for me. “I wore my hoodie to work the other day and forgot it. When I went back to get it, it was gone.” I shrug. “I don’t know who took it.”

“Is that the truth?” asks the officer, his stare embedding into my eyes.

“Yes, sir. I haven’t seen it in a few days.” My mouth is dry and I feel the tremble in my hands.

“I trust that you will not be going anywhere for a while.”

“No, sir.”

“Good. Be sure you don’t. We will be contacting you for further questioning.”

I turn to Rocco, but I don’t receive the same warmth he gave me when I initially arrived.

“Rocco?”

“I think you should go,” he says, turning away from me.

My heart drops into my stomach and I turn and walk away.

Back in my apartment, my mind moves from one thought to the next. They think I had something to do with the fire. I’m out of a job, probably the best job I could ask for. Nancy is out of a job so there goes my father’s money. Rocco and Joanne both hate me. I fall down onto my bed and cry myself to sleep. I feel like my whole world is falling apart and I’m powerless to stop it.

Just after the sun comes up, a knock on my door sits me up in my bed. If it is the police, I need to tell them about Nancy. I need to clear my name. But how can I be one-hundred percent sure it is her? I’ll just tell them what I know and hope that the truth prevails.

I open the door to a rough-looking Rocco standing in the doorway.

“Can I come in?” His tone is low, curt and his eyes stay on the floor.

I move back and let him in.

“Do you want some coffee?”

“Who is the guy?” He keeps his head down but his eyes look up at me. I see the disgust and it makes me quiver.

“What guy?”

“The surveillance from the night you said you were there alone. You weren’t.”

“That is Nancy’s father. She was there too.”

“I know that,” he snaps. “You gave him something. An envelope. What was it?”

He saw it? I stay quiet, watching him.

“Why did you lie?”

“Rocco, I can’t tell you. But it doesn’t have anything to do with what you are thinking. Please.” I step forward to touch him but he steps back from me. “You have to believe me. Trust me.”

“I can’t do that, Maddie.”

My mind scrambles and I start to put the truth together. I look at Rocco and my eyes widen.

“I have to go,” I tell him. “I need you to trust me on this. Please. I will have answers for you. I promise.”

I grab my purse and phone and rush out the door, leaving him in my apartment.

Chapter 17

ROCCO

My heart wants to believe her, but Maddie is making it very difficult to do so. I leave her apartment, closing the door on my way out.

I talk Joanne into meeting with me about plans for a rebuild and a few days later she agrees. Walking into her favorite café, she is already there with a coffee cup to her lips.

“Any news?” I ask, sitting across from her.

“Nothing yet. They went through all the footage and can’t get a positive identification on the suspect. I know it was Maddie. I don’t know why we are playing these games. Just arrest her for God’s sake.”

“Joanne, I think we should let the cops do their job and put this all behind us. I think we should talk about rebuilding.”

“What? No. Everything is destroyed. It would take months to even be able to open the doors.”

“I have talked to the insurance company. It is all covered. All the damage to the restaurant and the surrounding businesses that have been damaged as well.”

“I think we should just divide the check, cut our losses and go our separate ways. I hear Boca Raton is beautiful this time of year.”

“It’s not what you really want. I know you. This restaurant is your life.”

“And New York has tired me out. Apparently, someone is trying to tell me something.”

“Maybe they are telling you to rebuild from the ground up instead of meager remodeling. Maybe they are telling you that you can finally build your dream. Come on, Joanne. We have been in this business for too many years together to give it all up now. Clean slate? What do ya say?”

She looks at me for a long time.

“It’s a lot of work,” she argues.

“Yes, it is. But it can be exactly what you want it to be this time.”

She smiles slowly. “Let’s do it.”

“Awesome! I’ll call the insurance company and get it rolling.”

“Hello?” A timid voice interrupts our conversation. I look over and see Maddie standing before us. “I know you don’t want to see me and you think I had something to do with the fire, but if you just give me a minute…”

“I think you have done enough damage for one lifetime, don’t you?” Joanne doesn’t hesitate, as she starts throwing daggers.

“Joanne, please. Just hear me out.”

“I think you should leave,” I interrupt, pushing myself away from the table.

“I didn’t do this,” Maddie says with a shaky voice. “I want to be a part of rebuilding Bistro Italiano. I love it there and I love all of you.” Tears spring to her eyes and I find myself fighting the urge to gather her into my arms. “Please, let me prove to you that it wasn’t me. I know who it was.”

“Who was it?” Joanne leans back in her seat and crosses her arms, skepticism thick in her voice.

“Please, go to that table in the corner and just watch.”

“What? Have you gone bonkers?”

“Please? Just trust me. Call my phone and listen, keep yourselves hidden and just watch.”

I pull out my phone and call hers. She answers, places it in her side pocket and walks to a table across the room from where she directed us to go. I nod at Joanne and offer her an arm. Just as we get seated, the door opens and Nancy walks in. She scans the room, almost seeing us, and walks over to Maddie.

When I hear voices over the phone, I pull it to my ear as Joanne leans in.

“So? Do you have the money?” I glance over and see Nancy sit across from Maddie.

“You already took two-hundred-thousand dollars of my father’s money. Isn’t that enough?”

“No. I figured it was so easy that I should try again. Besides, my daddy says he needs more.”

“He isn’t your father, is he?”

“Are you really that gullible, Maddie? Well, I guess you are. You did hand it over with no questions asked, didn’t you? Someone as stupid as you doesn’t deserve that kind of money.”

“Nancy, please, don’t do this. This money is all I have.”

“Tell it to someone who cares. If you don’t hand it over, I will expose you and Rocco and finish the trail of arson right to your doorstep. At least this way, you’ll stay out of prison.”

I glance at Joanne as she glances at me and she pulls out her phone.

“You know I didn’t start that fire.”

“It was your hoodie they saw in the videos.”

“That you stole from me.”

“Hey, I told you. I borrowed it. By the way, here you go.” Nancy reaches into a large bag and pulls out the hoodie, handing it to Maddie. “Whatever works, right?” Nancy smiles.

“Just answer me one thing, Nancy. If you only wanted money, why did you set fire to Bistro Italiano?”

“I hear it’s a good investment right now. Besides, seeing Rocco get what he deserves will put me in such a good mood. He never wanted me. This is payback.”

Joanne turns away and speaks into her phone. “I need police at Cornerstone Café on Avenue B right away. The woman who set my restaurant on fire is here.”

Within five minutes, three police officers stroll into the café just as Nancy gets up from the table. She glances at them and stuffs an envelope into her bag, just as she starts to walk to the door.

Joanne stands up. “Officers! Arrest that woman!” She points to Nancy. They quickly put their hands on their holstered guns and direct Nancy to a nearby wall. Surprisingly, she complies with them as if she knows they are there for her.

Chapter 18

MADDIE

I watch the officers put Nancy into the back of the police car, relief flowing over me.

“It’s over,” I say out loud.

“I was sort of hoping it was just getting started.”

I spin around to Rocco’s voice behind me. I feel light on my feet as his smile broadens.

“So, I take it you believe me now?”

“I do. And I’m so sorry for doubting you.” He puts his arms around me and pulls me closer. I glance at Joanne and try to pull away.

“Joanne is right there,” I whisper.

“Yes, she is. Don’t worry. I told her about us.”

“You did?”

“Maddie, I don’t want any more secrets. Do you know what I do want?”

“What?”

“You, in my life. If that means not being in business with Joanne any longer, so be it. I’ll find another restaurant to take over.”

He kisses me deeply and it feels like the first time. No secrets, no worries, no pressure.

“I have to say,” Joanne interrupts as she walks closer. “I have my doubts about this.”

“The restaurant?”

“Yes, the restaurant. And whether this whole thing is even going to work or not.”

“Joanne, I…”

“But,” she interrupts again, holding up her hand. “I’m willing to give it a chance if you are.”

Rocco smiles, “Of course I am. I have always been behind you.”

“What do you say?” she asks, looking at me.

“You want me to stay on with you, Joanne?” I feel a sense of belonging return.

“I do. And if you want a part of it, I will give you the chance to invest as well.”

“I don’t know what to say. The only problem is my father’s money is still gone.”

“They will get it all back,” she says with confidence. “Give them time.”

“Come on.” Rocco links his arm in mine. “Let’s celebrate.”

“You two go ahead. I have some things I need to attend to. I’ll talk to you later.” Joanne smiles at me, pats Rocco on his shoulder and walks away.

“I have a bottle of wine at my place, perfect for the occasion,” Rocco says, a sly grin on his lips.

***

Alone with Rocco in his apartment causes a reaction deep inside my gut. I sit on his couch and watch as he opens the wine he promised. He pours two goblets half full of the beautiful burgundy liquid and hands one to me.

“Here is to new beginnings and a wonderful relationship.” He clinks my glass and before I take a sip, he stops me. He takes a drink, his eyes glued to mine. He leans into me and presses his lips to mine. A hint of the sweet smell of wine tickles my nose. I want more of him and as if he senses that, he deepens his kiss, teasing my bottom lip with his tongue before sliding into my mouth. The sweet taste of wine spreads across my tongue like wild fire and intoxicates me. When he leans back, I keep my eyes closed as I savor the moment, a smile taking over my lips.

“I have to say, that has to be the best tasting wine I have ever had.” I open my eyes and sip from my own glass.

“There is much more where that came from, my sweet.”

I set down my glass, my stomach forming a knot so tight, it’s impossible to ignore. My nerves start to work on my thoughts. Will this finally be it? Will I finally let my virginity go? What will Rocco think of me?

I watch as he gets up from the couch, his glass in hand. He disappears into another room and moments later I hear a sweet bluesy song fill the room from small speakers in each corner. I smile and sip my wine.

“Dance with me, Maddie” he says, his hand stretched out. Without another thought, I put my hand in his and we are dancing slowly, very closely and intimately. His warm breath is on my cheek, his arms hold me close as our bodies sway side to side. I can’t remember ever being this intimate with a man.

Rocco kisses my neck and I close my eyes. My arms are around his neck and I pull his body closer breathing in his warmth and closeness. I can feel his hands moving up and down my body as the music fades out and a new song begins.

I feel my shirt being lifted from my waist and my breathing catches as the air hits my bare stomach. I lift my arms as he pulls it up over my head and discards it onto the floor. His mouth covers mine and he deepens his kiss. My thoughts scramble in my head and all I can do is want him. He wraps his hands around my wrists and pins them behind me with one hand and the feeling of submission slams into me. His kiss gets deeper and my breathing gets shaky. He pulls my head back and moves his mouth to the tender skin on my collarbone before moving downward until I can feel the heat of his breath through the thin lace of my bra. My nipples respond and harden at the feeling of his teeth moving across them. When my bra falls away from my breasts I open my mouth to gasp for more air.

His hands are on me, his mouth consumes my nipple, his body is pressed against mine. I feel my skirt fall from my waist and before I step out of it he is scooping me up and carrying me out of the living room and into his bedroom.

“Please, Maddie. Do not deny me. Let me make you mine. Let me be your first and only lover and I will be yours forever.”

He lays me gently on the bed and stands over me, looking at me with desire in his eyes. I can only nod. My body is on fire. My chest rises and falls hard with each breath. He unbuttons his shirt as he watches me, with just my panties on. His chest is broad, defined. I reach my hand up and I trace the grooves between his muscles with my fingertips. I pull myself up and sit on the edge of the bed in front of him, my hands working at the buckle on his belt. He looks at me, watching as I pull them down from his waist. As I hook my fingers into the sides of his boxer briefs and pull them down, I hear his breath catch just before his cock springs out.

He lowers himself on top of me, pushing me onto the bed and crushing me with his body. He parts my legs with his and presses himself into me causing my arousal to ignite with a blast of heated desire for him to be inside me. I stop him only to remove my panties and I lie back, waiting. Rocco does nothing but look at my naked body, I move my hands to run them over his body, but he pushes my hands away, pinning them above my head.

“Don’t move them,” he growls into my ear.

His eyes lock with mine and I nod slightly. He kisses my chin and slides his body down until I feel the heat from his mouth through my panties. I can barely compose myself at this point, breathing so hard I feel dizzy. When I look down at him, I see him cover me with his mouth, his tongue doing things to me that felt so good my body aches for more. I feel my arousal heighten, my body responding to him and grinding against his hand.

“Rocco,” I whisper.

“Shh,” he says, laying on me again. He kisses me hard, his tongue penetrating my mouth. “Do you want me to fuck you, Maddie?”

“Yes,” I breathe.

“Do you want me to make love to you?”

I nod profusely, pushing myself into the hardness I feel pressing back.

He leans up and looks at me. I feel the weight of him lift off me and his hand moves between us. He partially presses his weight back down on me and feeds his hands into mine, pinning them to the bed. His eyes lock onto mine and he gives me a lingering kiss before looking at me again. I feel him press into me, opening me up slowly. I feel my heart pounding through my chest and a growing pain inside me as he pushes deeper. The pain mixes with the need for him and I push my body forward, feeling a sharp pain inside me. He stops but doesn’t pull back.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes,” I say breathlessly. “Don’t stop, please.”

He slowly pushes into me, stretching me around him until he is fully inside me. He stops and kisses me passionately. He slowly pulls himself out and enters me again. The feeling increases my arousal, my desire, my need for him and I feel my muscles begin to tense. He pulls himself out and pushes back into me and repeats the motion over and over. He moves a little faster as he buries his head into the crook of my neck, inhaling deeply and growling as he pushes in. I feel the tension in his body. I feel the waves intensify in mine. My breathing is labored and my fingers are intertwined with his. I never want it to end, until it does.

I slam my eyes closed and waves of electric pleasure slam into me, drowning me. He pulls out one last time and lets forth this guttural groan from deep in his throat as he pushes into me and stiffens his body around me, exploding inside me. His body jerks and presses deeper inside me before he rolls over, breathing hard.

He rolls to his side and props his head up with his hand, his other hand caressing my stomach.

“Are you okay? I hope I didn’t hurt you.”

I merely smile at him and bite my lip. “I want to do it again.”

I roll over to him, giggling and rolling my body onto his.

“I knew I loved you for a reason,” he says teasing me. He covers my mouth with his and I can feel the arousal begin all over again.

Epilogue

MADDIE

ONE YEAR LATER

“Breakfast!”

I cover my head with my pillow and grumble at the thought of getting up. Then I remember where I am. I throw the covers back and jump out of bed. The curtains on the large bay window overlooking the ocean are already pulled back and the smell of coffee and bacon fills the room. I stretch and grab his button-up shirt, throwing it on before walking out of the small bedroom.

Rocco is setting a large platter of fruit on the table on the balcony as I enter and immediately smiles when he sees me.

“Good morning, sleepy head. You’re going to kill me if you keep wearing my clothes better than I do.” He reaches over and pulls me close to him, his hands squeezing my ass and his mouth consuming mine.

“Hm, good morning.”

He leans over and kisses me again, lingering on my lips before he pulls away.

“Keep that up and we won’t get to the restaurant in time.”

“That’s okay. Joanne will cover for us.”

I sit down and grab a grapefruit, peeling it and allowing the smell to waft over my hands.

“What is the smile for?” he asks, sitting across from me.

“I’m just so happy. My life couldn’t be better.”

“That’s good to hear,” he says, popping a piece of bacon into his mouth.

“We have the new restaurant up and running beautifully. We live on one of the most beautiful beaches in Boca Raton. And my investment in the restaurant has already begun to make a profit.”

“I know. It’s very fortunate that it all worked out. Who knew owning Tiki On The Water could be that profitable.”

“I still can’t believe they were able to find the dirt bag who stole my father’s money.”

“And retrieve every penny. Thanks to the bartender at that bar, they were able to identify him and Nancy. And now he and Nancy are where they both belong, behind bars.”

“Everything is perfect.”

“I think I might be able to make it a little more perfect,” he says, disappearing into the house.

I furrow my eyebrows and wonder what little surprise he has in store. When he returns, his hands are behind his back. He stands in front of me, looking at me with a smile.

“What did you do?”

He pulls me out from the table and kneels in front of me.

“Maddie, ever since I laid eyes on you, I knew you were someone special. I knew I wanted you in my life that very moment. And now, I want to know if you will be in my life forever.”

He pulls a small box from behind his back and offers it to me. My mouth drops open and all I can do is stare at the little black velvet box. He opens it and a blue gem sparkles at me. “Marry me, Maddie. Make me the happiest man in paradise.”

I lose my breath and look at him through tears in my eyes. I nod, my mouth still open.

He grabs my hands and yanks me up out of my chair, tears escaping my eyes and running down my cheeks. He picks me up and twirls me around. “You are the most amazing woman I have ever met.”

He sets me down and takes the ring from the box, sliding it on my finger, it fits perfectly, and kisses me again.

“I love you.”

“I love you,” I say. I feel like I’m floating in a dream. If so, I never want to wake up.

Inked Temptation

The newest model at our ad agency is more than six feet of pure muscle and coated in tattoos.

When my boss introduces my latest work project, my panties dissolve on the spot.

Not that I can touch him.

No matter how much I want him to fuck me, this is strictly professional.

I worked far too hard to get where I am to ruin it now.

I’ll just have to settle for looking at him.

From every angle I can.

*** A steamy STANDALONE contemporary romance with a smoking hot hero. No cliffhanger, no cheating, and a guaranteed happily-ever-after.***

CHAPTER 1

PENELOPE

I am in my office and looking over the massive city of Chicago when my phone rings at my desk. I groan, knowing that it is more than likely my boss with some new campaign idea for me to toss around my head despite the fact that I’m already working on three at this moment. I suppose that is the blessing and the curse of being the best at Vincent and Price Advertising, a company that has been the best in the city for forty years. I’m lucky that I got the job right after graduation from the University of Chicago.

I turn to grab my phone as I sit down.

“Penelope James,” I say.

“Hey, Pen. Are you free? I have a new exciting campaign that I want to run by you before the clients arrive,” Marshall’s voice is as positive as always and I grin.

“I’ll be right there.”

I grab the coffee that I bought on the way in, much needed after spending most of the night on another campaign, and head across the seventh floor to Marshall’s office.

I can do this. I’m looking to rise quickly to the top here and hard work is a definite part of that plan. My heels click on the marble floor, black and high to match the gray-and-black wrap dress that I’m wearing today with my newly bobbed blonde hair in a sharp angle. I feel good dressed in my best and the new haircut is a boost to my otherwise low self-esteem after a nasty breakup last month.

I call hello to the people I know and tap on Marshall’s door, pushing the ajar door open after only a second.

“Marshall, what’s up?”

“Penelope, my advertising goddess. Sit down.” I know my face is pink from the praise as I shake my head and do just that, setting my coffee down on his desk.

“I don’t know about all that,” I murmur, looking across the desk. Marshall is only about forty-five-years old. He is the head of Vincent and Price, and my mentor. That is what I want for my future and I’m taking advantage of being just twenty-four with my high energy and little need for sleep while I can.

“I do. So, Lincoln Tires. You know them?” Marshall asks me.

I think for a moment. Big store on the corner that runs a lot of commercial ads both on television and radio though nothing ever stands out about them. I don’t know a lot about the company but guess that they’re successful enough. I nod.

“They want to up their ads.” Marshall continues. “Draw in more than just the man looking for a new set of tires. The owner, Norm Lincoln, has a son who he wants to use for an ad campaign. He thinks that it will call to moms and daughters, boosting sales.”

“Why will that make women come into the store?” I ask as I frown at him a bit, generally curious.

“That’s why you’re here. They’re coming in soon and I wanted to meet with you before they arrive. Actually, if you’re not busy, you could help with the brainstorming” Marshall looks at his clock and straightens his tie. “It should be anytime.”

As if on cue, there is a knock at the door and Marshall asks the person to come in. I give a smile to the man who walks inside. Marshall shakes his hand and introduces me to Norm Lincoln, the owner of the tire shop. Norm shakes my hand and apologizes for his son being late due to an issue at his own business in town. Norm tells us that while he does very well with his business, he wants to add something to the ads to make them stand out. He says he wants it to be more family friendly and open to women who might otherwise be disinterested in going inside a tire store.

“This is a big city, Marshall. I want to stand out and I’m going to offer more sales and competitive pricing to everyone, but I need more customers for that. My son Tanner has a look that the girls have always loved and I got the idea that an ad with him as the image for the company might help that along.”

I nod and glance at Marshall. Norm is right that sex sells.

I look back at the open door while I sip my coffee as the sound of a giggle filters through. Clara doesn’t normally sound like that at the office and I frown as I start to swallow the large sip before a man steps into the doorway.

Marshall stands up and says, “You must be Tanner. Please have a seat.”

The hot liquid freezes in my mouth as I take in him. Tanner’s hair is that perfect tousled mess that will never go out of style and hangs down to his shoulders in careless waves that scream for my hands to be in it. He has several inches on his dad, at well over six feet tall. Big smoldering blue eyes that lock with my wide ones, further weakening my knees. His muscles are obvious in the tight-fitting T-shirt, but aren’t obscene. They just show he is a man who takes care of himself.

I choke down the liquid, unnerved by my reaction. He half smiles, half smirks at me and my panties start to melt. Perhaps it is due to the breakup and lack of sex in my life, but I never react this way about anyone.

Tanner oozes sensuality just in his pose, and the tanned skin that displays his inked arms only adds to his appeal. I press my legs together and will all the lust and need inside of me to calm down.

Marshall and Tanner shake hands, and he nods and smiles at his dad, and then it is my turn.

“This is Penelope James who will be working on the campaign.”

I reach out with my business smile gracing my full pink lips. Tanner clasps my hand tightly and heat flows easily between us. Every nerve ending in my body is on edge as he gives me another knowing smile and lets his eyes run down my body. His look burns my skin and I fight the shiver that threatens to take me over as I pull away and take my seat.

Tanner takes the one beside me and Clara comes in to offer us drinks with a sensual smile on her face. I hold my cup up but the others tell her that coffee sounds great, and she turns to get a tray with an embellished sway of her hips. I never hated her before today. I’ve never felt jealousy like this in my life.

“I can see why you think this campaign might work, Mr. Lincoln. Don’t you agree, Penelope?” Marshall asks me as I look at Tanner and his stunning face.

“He has the look that everyone is using right now. Absolutely.” I agree as I look at Norm to try to avoid the blush that I feel coming on. I can’t let this happen to me. I am a professional who can handle an attractive man, aren’t I? Marshall is going to fire me if I keep this up.

CHAPTER 2

TANNER

I’m mesmerized by Penelope as she speaks. Her voice and body language tell me that she is affected by me and that dress makes it hard not to take in her curvy body while trying to focus on business. I initially told Dad that he was insane with his marketing scheme but then had to admit that it works for my tattoo shop. I am the face of that and well over half of my clientele is female. Flirtatious females. Why not give Dad a shot at being the best in the city?

“Tanner?” I blink and look at Marshall as I hear my name, not wanting to tear my eyes away from Penelope. “What do you think of doing some photos in front of some tires, pulling in every woman with that bedroom stare that sells so much?”

“I think it’s worth a try. Dad wants to be at the top so let’s do what we need to get him there,” I wonder if it would make Penelope want me.

She’s nowhere near my type of woman. Her clothes and occupation are everything I’m not. I run a tattoo shop that I started with an inheritance from my grandfather five years ago. The shop flourished and now I’m the most successful shop in all of Chicago, but I know that my business is nothing like what happens here in this building. I get to know customers up close and personal by seeing their skin while Penelope dissects their business from afar.

Judging from the way she was introduced by her boss and the slight circles under her eyes, Penelope puts a lot of time into her work and is probably the top worker around here. I see that she is rigid in life by her posture and doesn’t seem to be able to relax easily while I enjoy every moment of my days.

I work hard and love what I do, but I also play hard. I’m the bad boy who every woman wants until they get me, and then they realize that I am far too much for them. Hell, I enjoy the ride. That’s all I want anyway.

“What’s your budget look like, Norm? We have top-of-the-line photographers, studios, everything that you could need.” Marshall smiles as the pretty brunette brings in a tray with three cups, a large coffeepot and even some pastries. She’s looking at me, but all that’s a waste of her time because my sights are firmly set on Penelope. The brunette hands Marshall a cup already made for him and asks my father and me what we like before she fixes them.

“I am willing to spend. That new chain just opened in the city and I want to stay ahead of the game. I want the best pictures and TV ads that money can buy. Thank you,” Dad tells the brunette as he accepts the cup of coffee from her.

“Here you go,” she tells me softly as she hands me a cup, her big brown eyes locking on mine. She wants me and isn’t hiding it at all. I glance at Penelope to see her face twist in irritation.

“Thank you,” I tell her with a wide smile, seeing Penelope frown. She is jealous. I toss that idea around for a moment. I’d never touch the brunette if I have a chance with Penelope and it is clear that I do. I add a wink to the smile to up my game, just to see the frustration pass across Penelope’s beautiful face.

The brunette blushes as she sends a glance around the room before leaving. Penelope sees the last longing look from the woman as much as I do and I lean back in my chair and look at Marshall as he drops ideas. I know that I shouldn’t act like this at a business meeting but the challenge is too much fun. Penelope drinks most of her coffee before leaning forward and taking a muffin from the tray. She doesn’t eat it as she starts to speak.

“I think that a picture of Tanner in front of a beefy truck would work as well. The truck will have big tires and he could lean against it in some overtly masculine pose. He could drive it for a commercial as well.” I glance at her, seeing the way that she tucks her hair behind her ear before looking at me. “I think that we’ve all seen your typical commercials for tire companies. I want to go above that so people talk about these ads. It will get your name in their heads and their business in your door, particularly if you back them up with great service and prices.”

She smiles for a moment. “In the small town where I am from, there was a car service place that did tires and a few fixes. There was nothing great about them but everyone knew that they served fresh popcorn in the waiting area. I think that got at least half of their customers through the door. Nothing else stood out.”

Dad lets out a laugh as Marshall gives Penelope an approving look. She is the star student here and I wonder how much I could make her forget all about the rules for just a little while. The look that she gives me makes me realize that Penelope is on to my way of thinking. Dad and Marshall nail down a business plan and Penelope agrees to make some calls as the meeting wraps up.

I am only aware of some of it and stand along with her, taking a glance at the clock on the wall. It’s mid-morning now and she might be up for a quick break. “Thanks for everything.” I tell Marshall, shaking his hand, and taking the chance to follow Penelope out of the office.

Her dress hugs her curves and I drool silently at that ass for a moment, rushing past the brunette without as much as a glance.

“Miss James?” I watch as her legs pause, calves tight from some regular workout, and she turns back.

“Would you like to get some coffee with me? That meeting took a while and some fresh air might be good.” I stare at her as I ask, knowing that there is a coffee place on the corner and that she probably drinks a lot of it with her work hours. If running a tattoo shop has taught me anything, it’s how to read people.

“Thanks, but I just finished my coffee,” she points out as she starts to walk away slowly.

“You look like a woman who works hard. I’ll bet you live on coffee,” she stops walking away and turns back to me with a shy smile. I want her to break loose for a moment and come outside with me. I want some more time with her, alone this time.

“Instead, we could go to lunch in a bit if that works better for you, Miss James. There’s a deli up the street that is great.”

CHAPTER 3

PENELOPE

“Please, call me Penelope. Tell me, how do you know this part of town so well?” I ask him as I see the hungry look in his eyes.

This is a client. This is a client. Lord help me, but this is a client.

“I own City Ink three blocks away. I know everything nearby,” he responds as I feel my eyebrow arch on its own and we start walking to the lobby. That explains all the ink that covers his arms and likely other parts of his body. Other parts of his body… oh my. I wish that I could ask to see every single one of them.

This is a client.

“I see. That is quite different from your dad’s business, isn’t it?” I ask as Tanner shrugs.

“I’m good at drawing. I became addicted to ink early on and gave it a go. I’m lucky with the shop.” Though his voice is casual as we stop along the wall, out of the way of others, I know that nothing else is casual between us. There is a sexual tension that you could cut with a knife and the look in his eyes promises me only the best sin that life should offer. “We could talk more about the campaign.”

“That seems to be all worked out now, apart from the calls I have to make,” I assure him as he leans closer to me.

“Make them, Penelope, and have lunch with me.” His voice is begging me to break my rules as I suck my lower lip into my mouth. I never see clients outside of business meetings or events, and this particular job has no event other than photo shoots or commercials. I didn’t need to meet him for lunch though the wet piece of lace between my legs tells me otherwise.

“I can’t. I am… busy. I’ll be in touch about the ads though.” Tanner’s responding gaze is challenging. I think over my answer and know that it’s the best one. “Have a wonderful day, Mr. Lincoln.”

“That’s my father. I’m Tanner.” He slips his hand into the pocket of his jeans and pulls out a wallet, from which he removes a business card. “Call me anytime. I can give you a great tattoo, take you to lunch, or anything else you might need.” Tanner gives me that card, moving a little closer before pushing back from the wall as I look down. It is for his shop but this card includes his cell phone number.

“Do you give this out to everyone?” I ask him, raising my eyes to meet his amused gaze.

“No. Those are reserved for special people.” He pushes back further as the voices of Marshall and Norm trail down to us, licking his lower lip. “See you later.”

Tanner walks to the elevator, and I watch the way his body moves. He is in excellent shape and his ass begs to be touched, preferably as he’s deep inside of me.

Oh, God. I’m losing my mind.

I glance over to see Marshall coming my way and hide the card with my hand. He respects me because I follow the rules and do the right thing. I could not mess that up with this campaign.

“That went well,” I tell him as Marshall smiles at me.

“I think that the son has a thing for you, Pen. Watch out for that unless you think it might help with the campaign.” Marshall winks playfully at me, more than likely assuming that I hadn’t noticed. I managed to balance work and my previous relationship before this and now that I am single I throw everything into this job. He has no cause to worry and I won’t give him one.

“Hardly. He’s just one of those kinds of guys,” I assure him as I look across the building. “I’ll go make some calls and see what we can get set up.”

“Lunch at one. I want to celebrate,” Marshall tells me as I nod with a smile. I look at Clara for a moment, seeing the seething look that she is shooting me as I smugly smile. I could give her the card that Tanner gave me, but no. I might need it if the devil on my shoulder takes over.

I turn to go to my office, closing the door as I breathe in deeply. My entire body is on fire just from spending an hour tops with Tanner.

How is that possible?

I work with men for ads all the time and never feel like I do right now. I remind myself again that he is a client as I walk to the desk and find the telephone numbers I need to set up a photo shoot and a commercial. We use the same people all the time so I manage to get a few time slots for the commercial in a couple of weeks, so we can put together a solid idea of just what we are going to do with Norm and Tanner.

I’m friends with the photographer, Mollie, and call her next. I go over the plan and she asks who the model is. I say his name and she starts laughing.

“I know Tanner Lincoln. I get ink done there all the time. You know what? I am going tonight and you should come along. We can discuss ideas together while Trinity is working on my tattoo. He’s there every night.” I blush at the idea of seeing Tanner tonight, so close to today. Seeing him in his element would probably be so much worse than here in this building.

“I don’t know, Mollie. I can just call his father and see what he wants to do.”

“You are passing up the chance to see Tanner in person? Come on. He’s gorgeous, right?” Her voice sounds incredulous as I close my eyes. “I know you think so, Penelope. Come with me. Talk to him. Get a tattoo, for fuck’s sake. Shake things up a bit.” Mollie has been trying to get me to loosen up for as long as I have known her.

“A tattoo? No!” I protest as she laughs at the other end.

“Come with me while I get mine. Talk about ideas and I’ll add my two cents, then we go get dinner and a drink. You can write that off for work since it is with your photographer, right?” Mollie teases me as I imagine Tanner’s intoxicating blue eyes in my mind.

“What time is your appointment?” I ask her after a long sigh.

“Eight. You know where it is?” Mollie asks me as I run a hand through my hair.

“Yes.” We end the call with a promise to meet at the shop and I rest my head in my hands.

What am I getting myself into?

I email Norm and give him the times for the commercial, including Marshall in the exchange. I plan to tell Marshall about my meeting with Mollie later, skipping the part about going to City Ink. Technically, there was nothing wrong with going there but I like the idea of it being a secret, at least for now. I spend a little while jotting down ideas on my computer as well as to kill time before lunch with Marshall since Mollie will be the one to determine the details on the photo shoot.

Once I finish with the notes, I check in on my other projects and the teams I have working on them with me. I trust my people implicitly and work closely with them, promising to stop by after lunch to talk to them. I spend the better part of my day with my teams in the afternoon after meetings with Marshall and today is no exception. I need to think about work, not Tanner.

CHAPTER 4

TANNER

I head to the shop after running some errands, hitting the private bathroom in the back for employees after I tell everyone hi. Penelope has me all kinds of worked up and I can’t get the sweet scent that she wore out of my nose as I rip the button of my jeans open.

Damn it. I look back to assure myself that the door is locked before I take my hard, painful cock into my hands. The second I saw Penelope, I got hard. I want to send my dad and the head guy out of the room and nail her right there on the desk. Her ass is juicy and tits just the way that I like them. I could see some innocence in her big green eyes but the part of me that is hot right now wants to change that.

I want to make her scream my name, begging for more. I saw the look in them as I damn near pressed her against the wall in the office, wide and hungry. Her style is business conservative but I imagine her wearing a black lace bra and panties underneath, at least until I rip them off.

My hand moves hard and fast with the images and I close my eyes as I lean my head back. I just fucked a girl two nights ago after giving her some ink. I should be fine for a little while but no… I’m hard as fucking steel and need to come before I think about anything else today. I shoot down to the floor, not caring about clean up right now.

“Fuck me,” I hiss as I jerk forward with the movement, surprising myself with the force of the release. I glance down as there’s a tap at the door, wincing as Trinity calls my name.

“Tan? You in there?” she calls as I reach for tissue to clean off my cock, breathing in at the sensitivity of it. That is new with jerking off.

“Yeah. I’ll be right out.” I clean the floor and toilet seat, checking it again before I wash my hands. I’m not an asshole.

I leave the bathroom and go to the front where my head artist is at the desk, looking over appointments for the day. “What’s up?”

“Do you think we can get a sandwich at the deli before we have our meeting? I got up late and I’m starving!” Trinity looks at me with pleading brown eyes as she tosses her pink-this-week hair over her shoulder and I let out a drawn-out sigh.

“Fine. If we must.” She knows how much I love the place and it’s not an issue. Hell, she is my best artist and I’d buy her lunch. It is a write-off for me. She gave me a sweet, fake smile.

“Thank you, boss.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I murmur as I lean over to take a look at the day’s schedule. “Pretty full.”

“Mollie’s coming in to finish her back tattoo tonight, though. I think this is it.” Trinity beams and I smile at her. It is probably some of the best work in Trinity’s career and I look forward to seeing the finished product.

Mollie is hot too, so seeing her wouldn’t be a hardship. She flirts with me every time she comes in but I haven’t tapped that. I was dating a girl for a few months up until two weeks ago when I decided to end things. I didn’t feel too much for her to begin with and being more than casual was all her idea.

“I can’t wait to see it, Trinity. That’s a great angel, and that’s not normally my thing.”

I did the most portrait tattoos in the shop, which were a hot item. I glance at the clock, knowing the shop opens in a little while before reaching for the keys.

“Let’s get some food and then we can take care of the meeting stuff before we open shop for the day.” Even if we ran a little over, she has some wiggle room with time since her first client isn’t going to be in for an hour after we unlock the door.

I am glad that we leave a little after twelve-thirty because there are a few empty tables in the restaurant. “Grab a table. I’ll get your usual.”

Trinity kisses my cheek before walking to a corner table as I shake my head. We’d grown up here together in the city. Our dads were friends back in the day so we were kind of stuck with it and luckily, we get along fine. I walk to the counter and order as a formality since they already know what we like, adding a couple of beers. I’ll need every bottle the restaurant has to get the pretty blonde from earlier out of my head. I turn to take the bottles to the table, earning a grin from Trinity before I go to get the order a minute later.

We discuss shop business over lunch, dragging it out a bit as I sip the beer. I can’t get buzzed since I have a few scattered appointments today, but it tastes fucking good after my morning. It’s thinning out a bit inside when I hear the chime, feeling something new in the room. I glance around, looking right at the door to see a familiar pair walking into the deli.

I narrow my eyes as Marshall leads Penelope to the counter with his hand on the small of her back, both laughing.

“What’s wrong with you?” Trinity asks me before she follows my gaze. “Do you know them?”

I hear the laughter in her tone since Penelope isn’t my type but my focus is on the way he leans close to her. Maybe Penelope isn’t a good girl and she’s fucking her boss. Maybe he just wants her too.

“Tanner?”

“What?” I snap at her as she raises a perfect eyebrow at me. “Who’s the blonde?”

“Tanner?” Marshall calls out as Trinity swings her head over to look. “Is that you?”

“Marshall,” I say dryly as I look at him, carrying a tray with sandwiches and sodas. “Fancy meeting you here.” I know he’s doing the ad so I’m not a total dick but my eyes rest on Penelope as she blushes and tries to hide behind him.

“It is the best. Come on, Penelope.” He moves to the table next to us and she slips into the seat as Trinity tilts her head at them. Penelope glances at me and then Trinity as I watch distress cross her face, making me wonder if she’s jealous. The idea makes me grin and I feel Trinity’s hand on my arm before I stare at her.

“What are you doing?” I hiss at her as she smiles.

“Who’s the girl, Tan?” Trinity asks in a low voice as her eyes light up at me, knowing that Penelope is seeing everything.

“I’ll tell you later.” I drink some more beer, draining it as Trinity smirks at me. Her hand is still on my arm and I know that she’s doing it to make Penelope jealous. It’s what we do for each other all the time but today, it feels wrong. I pull my arm down and rest it on my leg, glancing over to see Penelope staring at me with a mix of heat and something else in her eyes. Is it insecurity? Did Trinity do too good of a job?

CHAPTER 5

PENELOPE

Once starving, I now pick at my sandwich.

The whole room is filled with Tanner now that I saw him and I alternate between listening to Marshall and staring over at Tanner. I look to the girl he is with, her hand covering his arm as she smiles and I realize how gorgeous she is. Her hair is a bright pink but her skin and eyes are dark and the tattoos covering her body give her an edge.

Tanner probably likes girls like that. I see them speaking in low voices as he glances my way a few times.

“Pen?”

Marshall is looking at me and I have no clue what he just said, “What did you say, Marshall?”

“Aren’t you hungry?” Marshall searches my face and I gave him a small shrug.

“I think I drank too much coffee today. I’ll wrap it for later,” I offer as he turns his head to look at Tanner’s table. “You know me. I work late anyway.” I think of the text that Mollie sent me about later, telling me to wear something I wouldn’t consider wearing to the office. I plan to leave by seven tonight, or around there. If I’m to change, I need to get to my apartment six blocks away and catch a ride back to the shop.

Am I really going to go?

I look at Tanner again, seeing the intensity in his beautiful eyes as I breathe in. “I’m going to use the bathroom,” I tell Marshall and rise to make my way to the back. I can cancel tonight and just make phone calls to Norm, or have Marshall handle it. Mollie knows her stuff and she could handle this on her own.

I walk into the bathroom and lock the door, looking into the mirror. I’m pale with bright pink spots on my face, making me frown as I splash some cold water on my cheeks. I am a hot mess. I decide to just get out of there, hoping that I could sneak by Tanner and his date.

Pushing the door open, I walk out and right into a body. I raise my hands to stop the collision but I shiver as hands wrap around me.

Tanner.

“Are you seeing him?” His voice purrs into my ear as he pushes me into the wall.

“Who?” I whisper as I hit the wall.

“Your boss. Are you sleeping with Marshall?”

I shake my head at him, staring into his eyes.

I feel my lips parting and suddenly it’s a struggle to even breathe.

Tanner leans down and presses his lips against mine. My knees weaken and I grip his T-shirt as his tongue slides between my parted lips. Tanner is aggressive and his kiss tells me that he knows what he is doing. I surprise myself by returning it. My tongue darts into his mouth and slides along his. He tastes like beer and sex. My body responds instantly and I can feel the wetness and warmth radiating from my pussy.

He lazily pulls away as if we aren’t in a public place at all. I feel scattered and as if I’m drunk as I stare into his eyes.

“Are you sleeping with your date?” I ask softly as I remember the pretty girl waiting for him at the table. What did I do? He’s here with someone!

“No. She’s a partner in my business,” he assures me as I realize that I will see both of them later tonight. I regain my composure and blink as I straighten up, pushing him away slightly in the process.

“I have to go. We have people waiting on us,” I look at the end of the hallway that leads back to reality, “I have to get back to work.”

“Is work all you think about? When does Penelope get to relax and have a little fun?” Tanner moves in for the kill as he brushes the skin under my ear gently with his mouth, stirring up even more desire inside of my body. I never knew that felt so good before. Tanner drags his tongue against my skin and I sigh as I drop against the wall again. What is this man doing to me?

I hear voices coming our way and straighten again, pushing him away. He smirks at me as I try to turn and make my way with grace to the bathroom to check my appearance again. I hear his chuckle as I stumble into the door and rush to the mirror, flooded with embarrassment and something else.

Heat.

It is pulsing through my chest and my nipples are hard and needy for Tanner. My thighs are heavy and aching, my underwear is soaked with desire.

I fix my appearance as best I can through the fog that has taken over my mind and hurry back to the table, seeing that Tanner left.

“Sorry about that. I got a call when I was just outside the door.” I pat my purse to confirm the lie and Marshall looks oddly at me. “Gotta get back. I have to check on something that I left at the office.”

He seems to go for the plan and we leave the already clean table as I hold my sandwich in my hand. Marshall wrapped it for me and I thank him as we walk down the street, still thinking about Tanner’s kiss in the hallway.

I head straight over to my teams for the rest of the day, even though I am not all there. If I have learned one thing in life, it is how to fake it and that is just what I do. They all make a lot of headway in their projects and leave at seven, claiming that plans and friends are waiting.

I go to my office and pull the sandwich out of the small fridge that Marshall provided for me, eagerly eating it now. I feel so hungry and I chew large bites as I consider the kiss from earlier. If I leave now, I could just make it to the shop and I’ve kept myself so busy that I didn’t call Mollie to cancel. I didn’t want to turn down the chance to see a friend since it didn’t happen often. The tattoo shop is just a part of that. I could also tell her something has come up and I could meet her for dinner a little later. I didn’t want to go home feeling as restless as I did.

I did that too much already as it is. I look at my closed door, knowing that the building is near deserted. I get up and look outside my door. No one is around and the cleaners don’t start on this floor for at least another hour. I lock the door and fall against it. My eyes close as my fingers trace Tanner’s lips along my neck. I walk over to my chair and sit down with my legs apart.

I run my hands down my body. I find the hem of my skirt and slide my hand under it with a small sigh. My underwear is still wet as I push it aside to find my pussy a slick mess of need. Maybe if I get myself off, I can relax a bit. I lean back and stroke my wet folds, finding the hard nub that is screaming for attention as I brush my fingers over it.

“Ahh,” I moan lowly as I touch it again, feeling the sensations rush through me.

This isn’t my first time touching myself but it is the first time I have done this at the office and all because I have an image as hot as Tanner in my head. I stroke hard a few times and feel the pressure building. I imagine Tanner’s face as he kisses me, he goes slightly out of focus as he pulls away to go down between my legs. Instead of my fingers, I feel his tongue, his fingers, searching my folds, finding my clit and sucking on it with his mouth as my orgasm begins to build under my busy fingers.

I throw my head back against my chair. My fingers keep going, controlled by some deep need to come that I’d never felt before. I slide two fingers inside myself, and I am amazed at the wetness and press my thumb against my clit as I explode, breathing deeply to avoid screaming Tanner’s name.

That was all him.

I ride out the feeling and drop back into my chair as I close my eyes. I sit there for a few moments shocked that I did that in the office, but so glad that I did. I might be able to get through the rest of the evening now.

I slowly shut down my computer and rise to leave, determined to go out and have a good time tonight. Tanner Lincoln doesn’t own my body and I can make myself happy.

I can handle this account.

I catch a cab back to my house and find a little black dress in my closet that is far too short for the workplace. I do my makeup heavier for tonight, using black liner and some vibrant eyeshadow before I spike out my hair like the girl did at the salon when I got my hair cut recently.

CHAPTER 6

TANNER

The shop is busy tonight and the music is playing loud. Trinity picks Alice in Chains and I like the beat as it pulses through my bones, still thinking about the brief but intense kiss with Penelope earlier.

Compared to any other encounter with a woman in my life, that one was innocent, but I could not stop thinking about Penelope.

What is it about her?

Coming back to work should have put me into my business mode. It usually always does but the questions that Trinity keeps asking me as well as the desire coursing through my body just make me think about Penelope more. I clean my station, thankful for a break as I glance at the clock. Almost eight. I could step out back for some fresh air and maybe jerk off again like I did earlier. Fuck knows that I am still hard.

The women I’d worked on so far today were as flirtatious as always but they weren’t Penelope. I am just leaving my area that is specifically off to the side so I could have some privacy but still hear the goings on of the shop. When I heard Trinity greet Mollie and then the surprise in her voice as she says hello to someone else.

Who is it? I turn my head to see Mollie, the familiar friend of Trinity’s, but then my eyes settle on a blonde standing beside her. All my blood races to my cock as I slowly take in Penelope, her eyes locking on mine for a long moment.

She is wearing a little black dress that clings to her tits and waist before moving easily against her body mid-thigh. Her hair is styled into a messy look and her eyes lined with dark makeup. This is not the Penelope from earlier.

“Tanner, Pen here tells me that I’m your photographer for the new tire ads. I thought we could all discuss it over my tattoo,” Mollie greets me with a knowing smile as I frown at her. Mollie is shooting the ad? I glance between her and Penelope quickly, noticing the fact that they are friends as Trinity glances back at me.

“At least I know the shots will be good,” I reply as Mollie smirks at me. Trinity calls her back to her area and I stalk the blonde as she stares warily at me.

“How about you, Penelope? Are you looking to get anything done tonight?” Without Mollie by her side, Penelope looks a little nervous as she watches me lean over the counter, oblivious to any other customers in the lobby.

“A tattoo? No. I would never,” she stammers as heat washes over her edgy, gorgeous face. That liner really makes her eyes pop and the pink flush brings them out even more. “Mollie thought we could talk about the ad tonight.”

“You don’t strike me as the kind of girl to work out of your pristine office, Penelope.” I lift part of the counter and nod for her to come inside as she glances around shyly. I can feel eyes on us as she walks forward but all I can see is her toned legs in that little skirt, ending in a heel higher than the one that she was wearing earlier.

Fuck me running.

I let her pass by me as my body responds eagerly, I am not even sure what I am going to do with her. Could we really talk business in this shop?

“It was Mollie’s idea before we go out to dinner,” Penelope responds as she pauses and looks around. The way we are set up in here was that Trinity was across from me but my section was a little more private than everyone else’s was. I could talk to anyone around me, but to see me they would have to walk in. If I am doing a tattoo on Penelope, we could talk and work all at once. The staff would get a kick out of the ideas since they’d been teasing me about my new modeling career.

“Sure I can’t interest you in some ink?” I ask as I press closer to her to whisper in her ear. “I could do a little tire to commemorate this project.”

“No other customers?” she asks in a shaking voice as I watch the shiver climb up her body. With my height, I can look down and see the hard nipples pressing against her dress as well as a hint of her sweet cleavage.

“Not for a while,” I reply, lost in the sight. “Come, have a seat.” The girls are too busy laughing to talk now and Penelope looks over to see her friend leaning forward in front of Trinity, bare from the waist up. “That’s probably going to take a little time.” I lead her to my area and offer for her to sit down, watching her skirt climb as she did. “If you were to get something, what would it be?”

“Perhaps something representing strength,” she tells me as I look at her. “It takes a lot to get where you want in this world.” Penelope’s voice is low and I sit down and roll closer to her. I think this girl has some grit to her after all.

“That it does,” I agree as I lean against the leather, just beside her ass on the seat. “I like tattoos that mean something.”

“Do yours?” she asks as she looks over my arms slowly, pressing her hands into her lap.

“Every last one.” My skin tells a story about how my parents divorced when I was seven. The ink gets the emotions out of me and reminds me every day of the hardships in my life as well as the successes.

“It looks like some people just throw anything on their skin,” I say, “but I think it through and wait for my best artists to do the work.”

I inch my hand out to touch her bare skin, watching Penelope tense before she let out a long breath. Her lips part and she swallows. I start to move my hand, knowing that I need to touch her. Penelope looks at me as she drops her hands to her sides, touching my arm that rest beside her.

“If I were to get a tattoo, I have always liked the idea of something celestial. A moon that shows how bright the world is at night and that there is hope out there.” Penelope shrugs and I picture it in my head.

“A full moon with stars twinkling beside it. Not huge but good detail,” I muse as she looks at me. “I like the night as well. I think I do better work then.”

“I work late a lot for the same reason.” I know that before she even told me and I reach for my sketch pad. Penelope doesn’t say anything as I draw my idea and hold it up for her to see.

“I’d make the sky that dark indigo color and the moon a light yellow with a hint of orange. Maybe just make the stars a pale white.”

She smiles as she looks it over and I raise an eyebrow at her.

CHAPTER 7

PENELOPE

I am face down on his horizontal tattoo station, my dress straps are around my elbows and I am breathing deeply. I shake my head slowly as I look at the floor.

Tanner talked me into this tattoo on my shoulder where I could choose who sees it. It is a gorgeous drawing though. I tense as he cleans my skin, careful to keep the dress covering my breasts. He explained that the straps needed to be moved and I managed that before lying down so he could manipulate it a little lower.

“Is this going to hurt?” I ask.

“Yes,” he says with a chuckle

He finishes and I close my eyes as I try not to think about my dress bunched around my thighs. I kicked off the heels earlier and crossed my legs, trying to appear casual even though I am tense. I jump as I feel his hand on my calf, rubbing slowly as he massages my skin.

“You need to relax, Penelope. I am going to take good care of you.”

His hands are hot and soothing all at once and I take a slow breath. It isn’t just the tattoo that has me worked up here and I look at the floor again.

My pussy aches for his touch as he strokes me and I part my legs to give him more room. He sucks in his breath and slides his hand up slowly as I let out a long sigh. I know that I am facing anyone who might come back here and it wouldn’t be too obvious what is going on but still, this is risky.

There are the sounds of tattoo guns, music and voices around us as he starts to speak, but I heard him clearly. “We should keep this all business but it stopped being that for me from the moment I saw you. I want to slide my hand up and touch you. Fuck you with my fingers until you’re relaxed so I can mark you,” His words were so domineering and I felt his finger tickling the back of my knee. “I want to finish this tattoo and take you home with me, Penelope. I want you every way that you’ll give yourself to me even though you might think that’s wrong.”

I came not that long ago, but I’m ready for more. I shift my body around as he starts to make the slow descent up my inner thigh. The heat he causes burns my skin as I shiver, unable to fight this anymore. He finds the lace of my new underwear and pushes past them. He holds me with his eyes as he runs his fingers along my wet folds. I gasp as he inserts a finger and then a second finger inside of me.

He fills me with his fingers and touches me with the hard stroke I need. He tells me to pull up my dress a little more. I bite my lip to hold in the moan as his finger finds my clit, stroking it as he moves inside of me. I do, mortified by my willingness. His free hand climbs up my body to cup my breast as I lift away from the seat, playing with my nipple as my eyes close.

“Mm-mm,” I quietly moan as I memorize the sensation of this man touching me.

“You’re going to come,” Tanner says in a low voice, with a hint of a growl, “and then I am going to do this tattoo on you, Penelope. Then we’re going to my place so I can fuck you the way that I’ve been wanting to since I met you. You do things to me that I can’t ignore.” Tanner curls his fingers inside of me and I shake before releasing, a scream in the back of my throat as he squeezes my breast hard.

“That’s my girl,” he leans in to kiss my lips and whispers across them as he pulls away. “You can scream my name later.”

I drop against the leather, breathing deeply. I fix my dress and my underwear Tanner gets up to wash his hands.

“Pen? Where are you?” I glance up to see Mollie peering in with a towel covering her chest.

Her eyes widen. “Are you getting a tattoo?” She asks.

I gesture with a smile to the paper that Tanner made up as she runs over, taking it all in.

“That’s it, Mollie. We got to talking about it and he had the same vision.”

“Same with everything that Trinity does for me,” Mollie murmurs as she gives me a curious look. “Tanner does portraits though.”

“I do mostly portraits. I imagined it as she is talking and it’s easy work. How’s your piece coming along?” Tanner asks as he comes back in. Mollie turns to show him. “That’s great.”

I feel shy because she is half naked in here but neither of them seems to notice. “Thanks. Want to go to dinner with us after and discuss ideas?” Mollie asks as she turns around. Tanner glances at me and then at the clock as he seems to calculate something in his head.

“Yeah. I can tweak the schedule a bit after I get this done.” Tanner sets up some stuff as Mollie watches, moving her eyes to mine. I could tell that she is excited about the tattoo and smile at her.

Trinity peeks around the corner, holding two coffees in her hand as she stares for a moment. “A tattoo?” she asks as Tanner looks at her with a nod. I see the look that she shares with Tanner before leaving as Mollie lingers for a moment.

I wish Mollie was there the second I feel the needle in my skin, I gasp as I grip the seat. What the hell am I thinking? This hurts.

I hear him soothing me and telling me that he’ll be as quick as he can as I nod. It took me an hour as a kid to get my ears pierced. I knew then that I wasn’t brave this way and I wish that I thought it through before I picture the design. It’s gorgeous and everything I ever imagined in my head and Tanner got that.

I relax and focus on the sound of the gun as I push away the pain. This is new for me and with him, it feels right. Everything does. I know that it takes a while as I breathe through the process but Tanner talks me through it. He helps me up as I hold my dress to my body with a shy smile and turn my back to the full-length mirror as he hands me another one. I hold it carefully and look over the tattoo with a growing smile. It is gorgeous and I meet his eyes in the mirror. I drop the mirror gently on a table.

“Thank you, Tanner.”

“I think that’s some of my best work,” Tanner tells me as he steps forward. “I’m going to check on something and I’ll be right back.” I adjust my dress and sit back down to wait as he comes back in. “Hey, my last appointment bailed. He’s in a band and they got a gig. Want to go get some dinner at the diner down the street while Trinity finishes?”

“Sure,” I reply as he leads the way and peers into Trinity’s station. He lets them know the plan and I show off my new ink. Trinity gives him a long look as Mollie sends me a thumb up. He covers my tattoo with some cream and a bandage. I smile and Tanners lead me out of the shop with his hand on the small of my back.

CHAPTER 8

Tanner

I look at Penelope as we leave, then glance at the window to my place above the shop. Did I want to go eat some food with her or take her upstairs? I knew that she was ready for me after having my hand buried inside of her. The way that she tightened around me was something I’d never forget and I felt my cock twitch in my pants.

I look back at her to see Penelope gazing at me in the street lights before I stop and face her. “Are you hungry?” I ask her as she turns to me and looks up.

“A little but I can’t stop thinking about what you said in the shop either. I want both,” Penelope tells me as heat flares behind her gaze. “I know that this isn’t me. I don’t sleep with clients and now that I am going to break my rules, we are going to make this the best campaign ad I’ve ever done. We are going to keep business separate, regardless of the fact if this happens once or regularly. I just don’t want to fight this because I don’t think I’ll feel anything like it ever again.”

“We can order in,” I tell her huskily as I take her hand and lead her to the door to my apartment, hearing her gasp.

“Where are we going?” Penelope asks as I smile back at her.

“I live here,” I assure her as she falls into step with me and lets out a breath. I grab my keys from my pocket and unlock the door before leading her inside and up the stairs after locking it. I send a text to Trinity telling her that we are busy and see Penelope doing the same to Mollie before she slips her phone into her small purse.

Penelope looks around the spacious living room with a smile and walks over to the window for a view of the city. “I like this place,” she tells me as I walk up behind her, sliding my hands over her hips, pulling her against me. I knew that she felt me against her ass because I am big when I’m not erect and right now, I am throbbing.

“I want you naked,” I tell her as she shivers. I find the hem to her dress and lift it up, baring her to my eyes as she raises her arms. I knew that she is wearing underwear from earlier but the lacy thong still took my breath away. Her dress doesn’t allow for a bra but her firm tits don’t need one as I drop the black material and she turns to face me. “You’re fucking beautiful.”

“You’re dangerous,” she whispers before she slides a hand into my hair and pulls her lips to mine. This kiss has none of the hesitation I felt before and all the hunger that we both feel. I grip her and pull her against me, massaging her ass as our tongues dance together. I feel her hands tear at my jeans and loosen them before her small hand grips my cock. I lift her against me and she clings to me with her free arm as I walk her back to the bedroom. I can’t wait. I drop her down and kick my jeans across the room as she shudders. I pull off my shirt with one hand and she stares at me openly as she drops to her back.

“This isn’t your first time, right? I can’t be gentle with you.”

“No. It isn’t. I haven’t been with a man like you before but there’s a first for everything,” Penelope purrs as I watch her.

“What happened to the woman I met earlier today?” I ask as she looks at me.

“You. You turned my entire world upside down in the course of an hour. I am going to make this situation work but I can’t deny you any longer. There must be more to life than business and I am giving that a shot with you. Screw being safe,” Penelope rests her hands under her head and winces a little as I crawl between her legs.

“I’ll be careful with the new tattoo. Maybe you’ll feel better on your stomach,” I suggest.

Her eyebrows shoot up. “My stomach?” she muses. She sits up and pulls off her lace underwear. She smiles at me and turns over and spreads her thighs wide for me. “Like this?”

I drop down to my knees and crawl to her sweet pussy. I grab her hips and move her to her knees and then spread her thighs wider before licking her sweet juices with a long sweep of my tongue. The moan that comes from Penelope makes me harder than I already am and I stroke myself for a moment before sucking her clit into my mouth. I move with her as I grip myself in my hand. I slide my tongue over her clit and inside of her as she pushes back against me, needy and wanting. She comes hard and loud.

I reach for the drawer that holds my condoms, rolling across the bed in my haste.

“Oh God, Tanner. That was the best feeling I’ve ever had.”

“Stay there,” I order her as I grab a few and rip one open, sheathing myself before I position myself behind her. “This will happen more than once, Penelope. When you’re healed, I am going to take you on your back with your feet on my shoulders but not now. This time it will be you riding me with your glorious tits bouncing for me.” I slide inside of her as we both cry out together, sinking all the way inside of her tight walls.

“Fuck, Penelope. You feel so good.”

“Tanner. More,” she jerks against me as I pull out and groan, getting ready to come. I grip her hips and slam inside of her again, building up a rhythm as our bodies start to slap together. The sound is hard and wet as our damp skin moves together, both of us seeking the release that we were striving for. I knew it is going to be good but as she tightens around me and her warmth coated my latex-covered cock, I let out a roar as I jerk forward and let go.

We rest against the mattress together as I stroke her back. I know that I am all in with her, business or no. “Want to meet up with Mollie for ideas?” I tease her.

She laughs. “I know the ad. You’re going to be naked, standing in front of some beefy truck and showing off all your ink. Tires sold.” She doesn’t even open her eyes as she speaks, making me laugh.

“I think this might become a thing. Us. We’ll have to work the ad around all the sex that we’ll be having.”

Penelope nods. “I accepted that as my fate the moment I saw you. Are we exclusive?”

“I don’t want to be inside of anyone else but you. I want to ink your body as much as you’ll let me and get to know you.” She opens a lazy eye to gaze at me.

“I didn’t even think to pay you for that. How much do I owe you?” she asks as I shrug and move to her.

“We’ll work it out in trade.” I hover over her, feeling my second wind as I kiss her neck and reach for her nipples. “I know the owner. He lets me do things like that for pretty women.”

I didn’t know the future with Penelope but I did accept that life happens for a reason. I am willing to take this day by day, especially when she pushes me onto my back and reaches for another condom with a grin on her face.

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In Deep

(Five-Chapter Preview)

I’m on a body reconnaissance mission…

After I left the SEALs, I didn’t give a shit about anything.

I stopped caring.

So when a man offers me money to body snatch a woman, I take his cash.

Why the fuck not?

And then I meet her.

Grace.

She’s so damn irresistible without even trying.

I can’t take my eyes off her thick, round ass, and her smile is a beacon in my darkness.

All I can think about is sinking in her deep.

The mission just changed.

I used my training to find her, now I’m going to use it to keep her safe.

The only place Grace’s body is going is under mine.

*** A steamy STANDALONE contemporary romance with a sizzling hot hero. No cliffhanger, no cheating and a guaranteed happily-ever-after.***

Chapter one

GRACE CHAMBERS

I fold and unfold my legs for the millionth time in twenty minutes. But I can’t help the throbbing in my center or the growing slickness in my lace panties.

“So, what do you think? Do I have a chance?” he asks with a hopeful air, leaning back in his chair casually, while I continue to squirm.

Jameson Wilcox just has that effect on me. On women. Period.

With his towering, well-muscled frame and sinful gaze, it’s a wonder I’m catching anything of value that he’s saying in that deep, X-rated drawl of his.

I can’t get over his impeccable features against the backdrop of his perfect tawny skin. His eyes are the color of liquid gold, piercing and sensual. Tempting, kissable lips and a jawline any model would envy round out his flawless face. His dark, wavy hair is cut short in a low-maintenance style.

Business is so far from my mind, I will probably start panting soon.

But that is definitely not why he is here.

He’s here, in my cramped office wreaking havoc on my libido, because he needs a loan. To fund a security firm of all things.

Many of the people in this town are scared shitless of this man and for good reason. His dangerous reputation precedes him. I don’t know a single person who wants to be on his bad side and here he is planning to provide “protection” services.

Finally, I clear my throat and lean forward as I clasp my hands in the center of my desk. This causes his intense gaze to shift to the cleavage bared by my button-up silk blouse. Heat rushes through me as he boldly stares, not bothering to look away once he is caught.

I try not to think about it as I clear my throat yet again. This time my words don’t get jammed inside.

“Mr. Wilcox, I appreciate your preparation for this meeting,” I say, shuffling through the business plan he presented upon entering my office.

He eyes me steadily, his intense stare making me stammer.

“You’re… um, very thorough,” I remark as my eyes skim the pages, wondering how long it had taken him to put this all together.

“Yes, Ms. Chambers. I’m very thorough. In every aspect of my life.” A wicked gleam lights his gaze and he smirks, finally looking away from my breasts and back up at me. Then he winks.

All the moisture in my mouth evaporates in an instant, leaving my jaw slack as I ponder the innuendo lacing his words.

Be professional, Grace, I chant to myself.

“However, you don’t seem like the type of man who exactly needs a business loan from a small credit union like Citizens.” I state the obvious because the man is filthy rich.

The small-town rumor mill has me educated on the guy. I know he’s thirty-two and was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. And my brief interview about his financial history had revealed that he acquired a large inheritance when his parents passed. Needless to say, his pockets aren’t exactly empty.

He showed up on a brand new luxury motorcycle to prove it.

“One thing I learned in my time as a SEAL is that everything isn’t what it seems, Grace. Can I call you Grace?” he asks belatedly.

My mind is too muddled to care. A military man. Wetness pours from my core as I fold my legs again.

“Anyway,” he continues leaning toward me. “I retired a couple years ago and I’ve been managing my money on my own ever since. I don’t tend to trust banks. But people get suspicious when you start paying cash for everything. Which is why I need you. I need to open a line of credit to establish trust and further expand my brand.”

Very thorough indeed. I bet he learned that as a SEAL as well.

I am nodding before I even knew what is happening. The man just told me he retired at the age of thirty. I’m envious and awed simultaneously.

“We’ll be in touch, Mr. Wilcox. Citizens Credit Union is devoted to providing our members with quality service and care. Just give me a couple of days and I’ll see what I can do,” I promise, plucking a business card from my desk.

When he grabs the card, his calloused fingers graze mine and a jolt of electricity shoots through me. If he’s affected in the same way, his gorgeous face doesn’t betray a thing.

As I stand, the stickiness in my panties reminds me of just how slippery things have gotten down south. I will definitely need to change my panties as soon as he vacates the premises.

“Do you have any more questions for me, Mr. Wilcox?” I ask in a voice I hope isn’t too shaky. The last thing I need is for him to know just how horny he’s made me during this meeting.

“Jameson,” he says, reestablishing our eye contact.

“I’m sorry?” My words are barely a whisper as I take in his attire. He’s wearing all black. The dress shirt is unbuttoned at the collar and fitted to showcase his powerful biceps. The slacks fall over his long legs, the hem brushing the tops of expensive leather shoes.

“I want you to call me Jameson. If we’re going to work together, we should be familiar. Wouldn’t you agree, Grace?”

He finally stands, a fresh whiff of his heady scent assaulting my senses all over again. I would honestly agree to anything he said at the moment.

I gulp and nod as he stands there, patiently awaiting my reply.

“Please let me walk you out, Jameson.”

As we reach the credit union’s front lobby, Jameson turns to me with a disarming smile, his perfect white teeth on display.

“I’ll be seeing you, Grace.”

Although I know it’s strictly business on his end, I still relish in what sounds like a sinful promise.

I push out a loud breath as I finally re-enter my office. Closing the door, I walk on shaky legs back to my desk and nearly collapse against the corner of it.

Did the man know he was a walking wet dream?

Too frustrated to work, I journey back to the door and slide the lock in place.

With an urgency I can’t explain, I reach down and remove the sopping panties before taking a seat behind my mahogany desk. Reclining in my over-sized office chair, I lift one leg to rest my foot against the edge of the desk.

As moments from our meeting replay in my head, I decide in that instant that my lunch break will be postponed until my fingers attempt to strum away the tension at my aching center.

I sigh as my fingers make contact, my pointer and middle fingers slipping around the slick button that is my clitoris. My head lolls back enjoying the intoxicating sensations that ripple through my middle.

My fingers inch further south as I summon images of Jameson sitting across from me with that penetrating gaze and that cocky smile. Then I imagine those rough fingers teasing my sensitive nub and a moan escapes me at the erogenous thought.

I continue to rub circles around my clit while I dip a finger into the welcoming warmth of my hole. The penetration is a delightful addition that has me grinding my hips upwards as I imagine Jameson thrusting into me with enough momentum to shake me to my core.

And then I’m coming as I pant my client’s name, the wetness of my release coating my fingers as my shoulders relax and momentary satisfaction covers me.

***

At five o’clock, I’m the first one out of the office. I’m anxious to get home and share my earlier encounter with my roommate, Stephania.

As I stride across the parking lot, I throw a furtive glance over each shoulder and grip the keychain containing my pepper spray. It is a routine I adopted once I fled my hometown and have to walk anywhere alone.

I unlock the front door and Stephania is in the kitchen, cooking as a mouthwatering aroma fills the small two-bedroom apartment we share.

Her bouncy, red curls are pulled away from her face when she looks up at me with a smile.

“Steph, you will not believe what happened to me today!” I squeal.

“You got a promotion?” she guesses, a hopeful expression on her face.

“No!” I laugh, leaning against the island.

Her lips quirk at my excitement but she doesn’t try to guess again.

“I met a walking sex dream and his name is Jameson Wilcox.”

Her eyes double in size at his name but she remains silent as I give her a detailed play by play.

Chapter two

JAMESON WILCOX

I need to fuck Grace Chambers.

The woman is a fucking vixen. Pure sex packaged in a beautifully curvy frame. My carnal instincts want to devour every inch of her.

An hour after our meeting, my cock is still shoving against the zipper of my slacks making it all but impossible to concentrate on anything besides her plump lips and thick, round ass.

The fact that our meeting was a ruse no longer matters. I need to bury my cock in that woman before this assignment is over.

I turn her card over in my palm before deftly flicking it to a corner of my desk. Shaking my head, I try to clear those wayward thoughts.

I’m a bounty hunter for people on the wrong side of the law. I have no business having these thoughts about a target.

Pulling my phone from its cradle, I dial my client to notify him that initial contact has been made.

“Wilcox,” his sickening voice greets. “You got good news for me?”

I inform him of my meeting and tell him that the job will be complete in a month’s time according to the deadline we had agreed upon.

“We’re on schedule,” I assure him. Then I tell him the name of the town she’s claimed as home, sparing details about her occupation and home address. It won’t kill him to wait a bit for the remainder of the information.

Truth be told, I’m not too sure I will ever share that info. He doesn’t need it as long as I hold up my end of the deal. Which I fully intend to do.

Brick drawls on about something insignificant and I smother a retort.

The man is nauseating but a paying customer, and who am I to discriminate? His money is just the same as any other American dollar.

He hired me a week ago to capture and deliver Grace Chambers to him in a month’s time. The client, who most refer to as “Brick,” wants her to suffer for a mistake he claims she made before skipping town and moving to Holly Hill.

Brick reminds me that I’m not to harm Grace in any way. He wants her delivered unscathed before exacting his revenge. My only responsibility in the ploy is the capture and return of “dislocated” goods or persons and I would receive the six-figure payout we’d agreed upon.

Unfortunately, the only capturing I can think about at the moment involves me bringing Grace to my place and tying her up while I fuck her tight pussy mercilessly in my California king bed.

Disconnecting the call with Brick, I abandon my office and head to my home gym to work off some of the mounting tension.

***

That night as I step out of the shower, my thoughts errantly drift to Ms. Chambers yet again.

Quite honestly, she hasn’t left my fucking mind once since our little meeting today and I’m becoming irritated by the residence she’s taken up in my head.

I find myself plotting on the next time I will see her, knowing damn well these lustful feelings go against every rule I have in place for my professional dealings.

I may be crooked but rules were rules. Money is more important than a quick fuck. I repeat the sentiment a few times because I clearly need a reminder and so does my greedy cock.

Even if Grace is the sexiest woman I’ve met.

She definitely doesn’t belong in this godforsaken town. She sticks out like a sore thumb even though I know she thinks she’s slipping under the radar.

Not for the first time, I can’t help but think about how coincidental it is that she landed in my hometown of all places.

Walking into the kitchen, I grab a beer from the fridge. As the chilled liquid touches my tongue, I decide I would much rather have Grace writhing against my tongue as I get acquainted with her intimately.

What the hell?

It irks me that this woman won’t vacate my mind so I decide to do something about it.

Traipsing back into my office, I grab the card with info I’d memorized long before our first meeting.

I smile when I see she even included her personal phone number for clients who needed to reach her after hours.

And she’d said I was thorough.

Without a second thought, I pick up the phone and wait until her sultry voice fills the line.

“Hello?” she speaks uncertainly and I know it’s because she doesn’t recognize my number.

“Grace, I hope I’m not interrupting anything…” I let my words linger for a bit. My research hasn’t revealed whether she’s involved with anyone. Is she with him right now? It’s Friday night and it would make sense for a couple to be spending time together after the conclusion of the work week.

But the thought alone makes me see a deep shade of red I hadn’t seen since leaving the SEALs.

“Jameson,” she says finally filling the silence that had stretched over the line.

It pleases me that she didn’t pretend to not know who was calling.

“How are you?” I ask casually, no pretense of business clouding my words.

She stammers a bit before replying. “I’m fine. H-how can I help you, Jameson? Did you think of something else after our meeting today?”

I had thought of something all right.

I take another pull from my beer and relax against the counter to talk to her.

“Are you seeing anyone, Grace?”

Her gasp lets me know she is startled by my straightforward approach.

Good. She’s thrown me off balance and I’m glad I can return the favor.

“Excuse me?” she sputters. I must admit, it’s cute.

“Are you dating anyone? Do you have someone you’re involved with?” I ask for clarification.

“Mr. Wilcox, I’m sorry but I was under the impression this was a business call. If you don’t have any questions about your loan—”

“Jameson,” I interrupt.

“What?” she asks and I can tell she’s way off kilter now. I smile at the thought.

“Jameson. We agreed you would call me by my name. Remember?”

A few intakes of breath are followed by a loud sigh. “Look, Jameson. I’m not sure what you’re trying to accomplish here, but I’m only interested in talking business.”

“I bet you’re leaking just thinking about the way I would fuck that sweet little pussy of yours.”

She says nothing, the silence letting me know that my words hold truth.

“I saw the way you were fidgeting in your office today. Do you really want me to believe I have no effect on you?” I tease boldly.

Grace breaks the silence, finally finding her voice.

“I don’t have to tell you how inappropriate you’re being, Mr. Wilcox. Please refrain from using this number unless you need to discuss details regarding your loan application. I’m going to pretend like this never happened and I suggest you do the same. Goodbye.”

As the dial tone hums in my ear, I smile and put the receiver back on the cradle.

She wants me as much as I want her and I’m going to make sure we both satisfy our cravings.

Grace Chambers seems determined to play it safe at the moment, but I will eventually break her and put us both out of our sex-starved misery.

Then I will turn her over to the lowlife who’s looking for her and move on with my life.

Chapter three

GRACE CHAMBERS

Saturday night finds me on the couch, stuffing my face with my favorite movie snack: popcorn and milk chocolate. Stephania is in the kitchen retrieving her famous hot wings while I search through the channels.

Since neither of us have much of a social life, it has become our Saturday night ritual to veg out on the sofa with all our favorite foods and loads of reality TV.

Finally, I land on our favorite housewives show before my mind drifts to eyes the color of honey and rough hands large enough to…

“What did I miss?” Stephania asks, interrupting my wayward thoughts. She plops down beside me with a bowl of saucy wings.

I try, unsuccessfully, to concentrate on the overdressed women and petty catfights but Jameson intrudes every thought I have for the next thirty minutes. Stephania doesn’t hold her tongue when she notices.

“Okay,” she says muting the TV. “What’s going on with you?”

“What do you mean?” I ask, playing it coy.

She doesn’t buy it and says as much. I know the guilt is visible all over my face.

“You’re still thinking about this Jameson guy, aren’t you?” she asks reading my mind.

A frustrated groan escapes me as I drop my head on the cushion.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into me,” I admit.

I know there’s no point in lying to her. Since meeting at a job fair a year ago, we’ve been thick as thieves. She’s the one person I’ve grown to trust here.

“Are you sure you told me everything?” she implores knowingly. “Have you seen him since the office on Friday?”

“No, but he called me last night.” I briefly fill her in on Jameson’s bold attempt at seducing me over the phone.

“The guy has balls,” she says after a sip of her soda. “Just be careful, Grace. He has a reputation.”

She’s not telling me anything I don’t already know.

“I just wish I wasn’t so turned on by it. This is wrong for so many reasons.”

“You need a distraction,” Stephania claims, eyeing me closely.

“What kind of distraction?” I ask, leery of what’s coming next.

A huge smile eclipses her face and I know my premonitions are right.

“Let me set you up with one of the teachers at my school. I know the perfect guy for you.”

I roll my eyes at her enthusiasm. She works at the local high school and has been trying to set me up with the history teacher since she started the gig.

Each time, I vehemently turn down her offer. This time is no different.

“You know I’m not ready to date anyone yet, Steph.”

Exasperation clouds her once playful expression and she huffs.

“You always say that but you never tell me why.”

Guilt assails me. I trust her more than most people but I still haven’t been completely open about my past. I’m just not ready to confront those feelings.

“One of these days,” I promise, turning my gaze back to the TV.

“Fine,” she concedes, standing up to walk in the kitchen. “Do you want another drink?”

I smile quietly to myself, happy that I’ve purchased myself a little more time.

***

On Monday, I sit in my office sifting through emails, mentally preparing for the work day. As I type out a response to my boss about my latest report, my phone vibrates twice, alerting me to a new text message.

Absentmindedly, I grab the phone and scan the screen. The same number from Friday night stares back at me and I know it’s him.

Butterflies rapidly invade my stomach.

Swiping up, I key in my passcode to reveal his message.

Miss me yet?

Heat rushes into my cheeks and I can’t stop the smile that follows. Since his phone call Friday night, I’ve foolishly anticipated his next attempt at communication.

Not a chance, I type back.

He replies twice within a matter of seconds.

Liar.

What are you wearing, Ms. Chambers?

Instant arousal shoots through my core and I squirm in my chair. It is far too early for these sensations to assault me.

When I don’t text him back right away, he abandons the text messaging and calls me directly.

“Tell me your secret, Grace.”

I’m unprepared for how sexy he sounds first thing in the morning. His sinful voice is somewhat scratchy, as if he’s just waking up.

The thought of him calling me from bed does inexplicable things to my swelling lust.

“What are you talking about?” I ask as I begin my new practice of folding and unfolding my legs in an attempt to relieve the building pressure.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I left your office on Friday and I want to know your secret.”

“I’ll never tell,” slips past my lips before I can stop myself.

Am I really flirting with this man?

His tempting laugh fills the line and I am filled with pride that I am the one to elicit it.

“You’re something else, Grace Chambers. Listen, do you have lunch plans today?”

His question momentarily douses the fire in my loins and I slowly regain a portion of my senses. I have to remain firm with him or he will walk all over me and my rules.

“Mr. Wilcox,” I say, attempting to sound stern. “I’ve told you already that this can’t go any further than a working relationship.”

Momentary silence is followed by the sound of him clearing his throat.

“I was going to ask you if I could stop by and discuss my account.”

I’m so happy no one is here to witness the mortified expression on my face.

Jameson chuckles lowly.

“But I’d be more than happy to take you lunch instead. If that’s what you want,” he adds and I can almost picture the brash smirk on his face.

Words fail me before I gather my wits.

“I’m sorry. I just assumed — you know what? It doesn’t matter. I’m free in the afternoon if and when you decide to drop by. I’ll be happy to answer any questions you may have regarding your existing account or loan application.”

I’m certain he can read my embarrassment through the phone because his next words mercifully spare me any further humiliation.

“Great. I’ll see you around one.”

“Great,” I squeak out.

“I’m looking forward to it,” he says before we disconnect.

Casting a glance at the clock on my office wall, I realize I have three and a half hours to prepare myself to see him again.

Three and a half hours to rein in my unruly libido and control my mischievous thoughts.

***

The rest of the morning passes in a mundane blur of phone calls and paperwork. When one o’clock rolls around I realize I have worked straight through my usual lunch hour and Jameson will be arriving at any second.

I shove a mint in my mouth just as a knock sounds at my door.

Jameson’s imposing figure fills the doorway in the next moment, stalling my breath.

His beautiful eyes are piercing and focused on me. Unshaven stubble darkens his strong jaw and he’s wearing all black again. Is it possible that he looks even better than before?

“Hello, Grace. This is for you,” he speaks coolly extending something in my direction.

When I blink, I realize it’s a tall cup of hot coffee.

“Thanks,” I accept the proffered cup. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Consider it a peace offering. I’ll be on my best behavior during this meeting. You have my word.”

A sense of loss settles over me at his words.

I should be happy that he’s giving me what I want.

What I say I want. Yet, I can’t help feeling like I’ve lost something.

Shaking my head, I sigh and push away the thoughts.

It’s better this way.

Chapter four

GRACE CHAMBERS

“Grace, are you listening to me?” Jameson asks, snapping me out of my lusty haze.

I feel the heat rise in my cheeks and offer a repentant smile.

“You seem distracted,” he assesses as his head tilts to take in my features.

“I apologize,” I sigh. “It won’t happen again. What were you saying?”

“Anything in particular on your mind?” he asks, ignoring my question and trying to sidetrack the conversation.

His grin tells me he knows I’m distracted by him.

Who can blame me? The man embodies sex effortlessly.

“You were saying? About your account?” I refocus my attention on the present situation and call on my professionalism.

We talk a few minutes more regarding his account and I refer him to an analyst at the credit union to follow up our conversation.

Business concluded, he leans back in his chair making himself rather comfortable for someone who should be heading out the door.

I bite down on my bottom lip, anticipating his next words.

My actions have drawn his attention to my lips because he won’t look away, even once he starts speaking.

“How was your weekend, Grace?”

“Uneventful,” I reply, but I don’t follow up to ask about his.

Not that he cares. He continues the conversation, at last tearing his gaze away from my lips.

“Mine was pretty dull, too,” he says mildly before his gaze darkens. “Couldn’t stop thinking about you though.”

I shift in my seat at his confession. A rush of embarrassment fills me at how responsive I am to this man. The vibrator on my nightstand had received the workout of its life over the weekend. Yet, my thirst still isn’t quenched.

“Did you dream about me, Grace?”

A startled gasp parts my lips as he looks on seemingly pleased with how easily he riles me.

“Of course not!” I sputter indignantly but the denial fools neither of us.

“You’re a horrible liar,” he teases without malice. “But it’s cute. You’re cute.”

I want to swoon at his assessment of me, but I know better. He’s probably baited countless women in the same way. It would do me well to remember that.

“What does a woman like you do for fun?” he continues his disarming line of questioning.

His relaxed posture in my guest chair is in stark contrast to my tightly wound nerves.

I decide to join in on his banter, hoping it will help me relax. If only a little bit.

“Why? What do you plan to do with that information?” I ask a few questions of my own.

“You’re a feisty one. I like it,” he says with an enchanting smile.

Before I can respond to his latest remarks, my stomach rumbles embarrassingly.

“Have you eaten, Grace?” he asks and I swear concern enters his tone.

“No,” I admit uncomfortable with this level of attention. The flirting was fine but now he actually sounds like he cares about my well-being.

Not possible, I remind myself.

“I’m sorry I made you work through lunch,” he says sincerely. The concern in his gaze is too much for me to process.

I wave away his concern, knowing that my face is probably crimson from all the attention.

“Let me make it up to you. Have lunch with me. I’m headed to grab a bite myself and I would love some company.”

His offer is more than tempting but I shake my head anyway.

“It’s fine, Jameson. I still have a ton of work to complete before I leave tonight. I’ll be fine,” I say assuredly.

“Work will be here when you get back, Grace. You shouldn’t be skipping meals,” he scolds unconvinced.

“I’ll have a big dinner. The workday is almost over, no need to leave now,” I reason.

He doesn’t look pleased with my answer, but thankfully decides to let it go. I suddenly miss the playful side he revealed earlier. It is a lot less intense than the man currently sitting across from me.

“Whatever you say,” he concedes, pushing himself to his feet. “Thanks for agreeing to see me at the last minute. You’re a lifesaver.”

I feel small as he towers over me so I stand to erase some of his advantage.

“It was my pleasure,” I say dutifully and the damp state of my panties taunts me with just how true those words are.

“Take care of yourself,” he says as an easy smile reclaims his lips. I breathe in relief at the welcome sight.

“I can walk you out,” I offer, not ready for our time to end.

But he declines with a firm shake of his head.

“Save your energy for work, gorgeous. I’ll see myself out.”

I watch helplessly as he walks to my door and turns the knob.

Before he leaves, he throws a teasing dare over his shoulder.

“Don’t forget to dream of me tonight.”

I fall back into my chair and sigh like a contented high school girl. There is no doubt in my mind that he’ll be the star of my dreams tonight and many nights to come.

Staring blankly at my computer screen I know there’s no way I will get any work done at the moment.

I reach up to touch my flushed cheeks and wonder how frazzled I must appear to others. Luckily, no one is in the vicinity of my office at the moment.

Retrieving my compact mirror, I flip it open and examine my face. My full, round cheeks are rosy just as I imagined. Focusing on my eyes, I notice even my pupils are dilated.

The effect this man has on me is unacceptable.

Trying to regain my composure, I run my manicured fingers through my auburn tresses, situating them on one side to flow over my right shoulder.

I’ve decided to get back to work when I receive a call from reception, telling me that I have a delivery waiting for me in the lobby.

Confused, I walk to the front of the credit union and see a guy outfitted in a uniform from the deli across the street.

“This is for you, Ms. Chambers,” the lanky teenager says extending a paper bag in my direction.

“Wait, let me get you some cash for a tip—”

“Don’t worry about it, miss. It’s already been taken care of.” He turns and leaves the building.

Back in my office, I retrieve my phone from my desk’s surface and type out a speedy message to Jameson.

Again, you didn’t have to do this.

Thanks for lunch.

He doesn’t keep me waiting long for a reply.

It’s my pleasure, Grace.

Then a thought crosses my mind.

I wasn’t aware that the deli delivered.

In fact, I know they don’t. In the year that I’ve worked here, I’ve always had to go pick up my orders.

Some would say I’m very convincing.

Entertained by his cheeky response, I type out another message.

I’m impressed, Mr. Wilcox.

I dig into the bag and start assessing the goods. My phone vibrates again and this time warmth flashes through me as I read it.

You said yourself I was thorough, Ms. Chambers.

I want to make sure I surpass all your expectations.

I turn my phone over and, in the name of productivity, I vow to ignore his texts for the remainder of the day.

Chapter five

JAMESON WILCOX

Sitting outside of the shabby bar, I scan the crowd of people. I’m searching for Eric Mendoza.

I need to talk to him about a favor and although we don’t live in close proximity of one another, I know this isn’t a conversation I should be having over the phone.

This place is somewhat of a middle ground.

As I continue to wait for him, I run over the reasons for this meeting.

My current case is starting to rub me the wrong way and I need to know the facts before I royally fuck this up. I need the real info on this Brick guy as soon as possible and I know Eric is the guy to do that for me while I’m otherwise occupied.

Something about Grace pulls on a protective instinct I’m unfamiliar with and I need to know why. On the exterior, she appears to be a typical, sweet non-threatening woman. Had she really done something to end up on Brick’s black list?

My time in the navy had taught me how to compartmentalize, which is how thrived separating morality from my end goal: money. But I’d also learned a lot about how to read people and something just isn’t adding up.

***

“You sure know how to pick a bar,” Eric jokes, taking in our surroundings. The bar is rowdy and teeming with people who just escaped a long day’s work.

With a grin, I flag down the scantily clad bartender and order two whiskeys, neat.

“I knew you would fit in here,” I tease. “Underdressed women, cheap beer and plenty of lowlifes. Right up your alley.”

Then I clap Eric on the back before we dive into a bit of small talk, catching up.

Eric Mendoza and I were bunkmates during basic training over a decade ago and our sense of kinship had led us to become great friends. The sense of loyalty that grew from friendship had been fostered by our time as SEALs. No matter our differences, we always presented a united front.

“So, tell me why I’m here again,” Eric cuts to the chase.

“I need you to look into a guy for me. Real name is Brian Masner but most people call him Brick. All I know is that he sells life insurance in Ravenwood.”

Eric takes another sip of his beer and eyes me suspiciously.

“Why do you need me? Can’t you do this on your own?” he asks, knowing we have similar backgrounds in investigative work.

“Because he hired me a couple weeks ago.”

“Why are you investigating your client?” he wants to know.

“I need to know if he’s shady.”

Eric laughs, obnoxious and loud.

“Since when has that ever mattered to you? You’re the fucking king of shady.”

I’m irritated by his words, but only because I know he’s right.

Before Grace, I would have completed this assignment three weeks ahead of schedule. I should be kissing a fat bonus check right now for my swift turnaround, but instead I’m here.

“I’ve met the target a few times and something feels off. I wouldn’t feel comfortable turning her over to this guy unless I have solid proof to implicate her.”

Mendoza’s eyes triple in size as soon as I finish the word her. And I know what’s coming before he even opens his mouth.

“Holy shit, you’re trying to protect the target.”

I don’t think about denying it. He’s not entirely wrong. I want to protect Grace until I know for sure. No matter my current field, my predatory instincts always took a backseat to protect those I believed were innocent.

And this case has brought out the protector within me that I often try to conceal.

It’s just not making sense. Grace doesn’t seem like the type to pack up her life and start over without good reason. She’s not exactly living a glamorous life in Holly Hill.

If anything, I think she’s here because it’s safe and she can easily fly under the radar.

“Are you going to help me out on this?” I ask pointedly.

I’m none too thrilled to be asking for help on this, especially since it means admitting that Grace has successfully derailed my original plans. I’m not supposed to care about doing the right thing, that’s Mendoza’s role.

Between the two of us, I’m the bad guy in contrast to his good guy persona. He also has a P.I. firm but everything is on the up and up and it’s a much larger operation than my one-man show. We know our respective lanes and we stay in them without it tainting our friendship or mutual respect.

Mendoza is the only person I trust to be discreet yet thorough about this. He won’t leave any stone unturned and I need that.

“Sure,” he shrugs. “But I’d like to meet this chick. She’s done the impossible.”

“What the fuck are you going on about?” I ask glaring in his direction.

He’s unfazed by my anger and sporting a knowing smile.

“I want to meet the woman who was able to break you.”

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” I say flagging down the waitress for another round of drinks.

Mendoza leaves the bar an hour later to head home but we agree to meet up next week and discuss his findings.

I’m still at the bar, drinking and dealing with the realization of what I could be sacrificing for Grace.

If I abandon this assignment, I know without a doubt Brick will just hire someone else like me to finish the job and possibly come after me.

“Can I get you another drink, sweetheart?” the bartender’s husky voice breaks up my thoughts and I look at her over the rim of my glass.

She’s been annoyingly attentive all evening and it’s only gotten worse since Mendoza left.

I admire her slim build and simple features. She’s not unattractive. But she isn’t Grace, either.

Ms. Bartender’s tits are average sized, large enough to palm. And her lips are tinted with red lipstick, while her blonde hair is cut to frame her face.

But I find her lacking, through no fault of her own.

Grace isn’t fair competition for any woman.

Her full tits, tiny waist and round hips are simply perfection.

Perfection that I shouldn’t be fantasizing about in a bar when a perfectly acceptable woman is willing to fuck me.

It would be easy enough to take the bartender home and release the sexual frustration I’ve been harboring since I started this case but I won’t do it.

I have to admit that although I’ve never had Grace, I know Ms. Bartender won’t compare to the real thing.

“Can I get the check?” I ask after being buried in my thoughts.

“Sure, honey,” she says, wiping down the bar.

Moments later when I look at the check I see she’s scribbled her name and number near the bottom.

With a chuckle, I shake my head and toss cash on top of the piece of paper before walking out.

***

At home, I sit on the edge of my bed scrolling through my phone.

I contemplate calling Grace but note the time. It’s 1:24 a.m.

She’s probably sleeping and even I know it would be rude to wake her up for my selfish reasons.

We haven’t spoken since our meeting on Monday and it’s now Thursday night. Well, Friday morning.

Still, my dick is in misery after thinking about her all night. The longing is starting to get to me. I need to be buried in Grace soon or I will explode.

My cock twitches at the play on words.

I’m in nothing but my boxers since my shower and when I look down I see my penis tenting against the fabric for release.

Grudgingly, I lower the waistband of my shorts and reach down to fist my shaft.

Glistening pre-cum is leaking from the tip and I haven’t done anything yet.

I give a slow, initial stroke and close my eyes as I imagine Grace on her knees in front of me doing the honors. I pictured her saliva slathered along the length, her mouth opened wide to accommodate the thickness.

My hand moves on its own accord, up and down, the pace quickening as I grow more aroused. With my feet planted firmly on the floor, I expertly jerk off as I settle into the fantasy of her sucking me off before climbing on top to ride me to orgasm.

Shortly after, I feel my gut tightening and the spasms start surging through every part of me.

“Ah, fuck Grace!” I shout as I come, white hot spurts of cum hitting my stomach.

***

Thank you for reading the first five chapters of In Deep. Want more? Go to Amazon.com to read the full book. Thank you!

Overlooked

(Five-Chapter Preview)

She’s the closest thing I ever had to a sister

Our parents are best friends and neighbors.

We were raised together.

But one look at her naked body in the window and I’m hard.

How did I never notice her this way before?

Too bad she’s forbidden fruit.

She doesn’t deserve to be in my trail of one-and-done women.

Plus it would ruin 25 years of friendship between our parents.

But my body craves her.

The longer she stands in the window, the less I’m able to resist.

Screw it.

*** A steamy STANDALONE contemporary romance with a sizzling hot hero. No cliffhanger, no cheating, and a guaranteed happily-ever-after.***

CHAPTER ONE

HARPER POLSEN

A weird sensation washes over me.

Everything is the same and everything is different all at the same time.

On the street that I grew up on, the Petersons finally got around to cutting down the big oak that cast their whole front yard in shade, while the Angelinos put up some kind of weird flag pole. The Kings moved out, I’d heard about that from my mom, and the new people living in their house had repainted.

I can still almost see the way things looked the last time I’d been in the neighborhood, but at the same time the changes make me look twice to make sure I’m in the right place after all.

My parents’ house, as I get to it, looks exactly the same as it did when I’d pulled out of the driveway after New Year’s Eve. Brick and mortar, with black trim and a slate roof that my mother had apparently insisted on, the bane of my dad’s existence, and a red door that almost glows in the hazy yellow afternoon light.

I turn into the driveway and pull up to the garage doors, throwing the car in park, and sit there for a minute. On the other side of my parents’ house, I see the Lewises’ cars on the driveway, and the big flower flag hanging over the entry on their front porch.

As soon as I get my stuff into my parents’ house, I need to drop by and say hello. After all, the Lewises are why I’m in town in the first place.

I shut off the engine, and spot my mom coming out of the house to greet me. She’s covered in speckles of paint, and I’m glad I thought to pack some old jeans and T-shirts in my suitcase, along with the nicer clothes I knew I would need for the week I’d be in town. Obviously Mom is helping the Lewises set up everything.

“You’d better run over next door real quick and say hello to your other mother,” Mom says as I’m climbing out of the car. I laugh and roll my eyes, reaching into the passenger seat to grab my purse.

“I just drove for hours,” I point out. “She knows that.”

“It’s her anniversary,” Mom counters.

“And her husband’s too,” I add, standing up straight again and turning around to face her. Mom hugs me tight and kisses me on either cheek.

“The drive must not have been too bad,” she observes. “I was expecting you in another hour or so.”

“I ended up getting out of the city early,” I explain. “I figured if I’m up anyway, I might as well get on the road.”

Mom rubs my back and I unlock the trunk. “So you’re here for a full week?”

I nod as I grab my suitcase from the trunk, along with the present I’ve got for the neighbors’ anniversary.

“Bev was just telling me she expects Zane in tonight, too.”

“Zane is in town?” I raise an eyebrow at that. I haven’t seen Zane in years, in spite of the fact that we’ve both come back to our parents’ homes dozens of times. Around the time I started my sophomore year of college, he shipped out to the army, and somehow we both managed to miss the other one ever since.

“He’s not about to miss his parents’ twenty-fifth wedding anniversary,” Mom points out. “Not without a good reason.”

“I would think ‘the army wouldn’t give me leave’ would be a good reason,” I say.

“Well, they would, and they did. So he’s flying in tonight from wherever-it-is they have him stationed right now.”

“Good for them,” I say, shrugging. “It’ll be nice to see Zane again.”

“The army’s done wonders for him,” Mom tells me as we walk back up to the house. “Before he joined all he did was use his looks to bed half the girls in town. Although it’s easy to see how, he’s such a gorgeous young man.”

“Mom!” I look at her sharply.

“It’s fine to look at someone like him, as long as looking is all it is. He’s not exactly boyfriend material.”

“You’re married, and old enough to be his mother. I don’t know that it is okay for you to be looking.”

“Sure it is. As long as I never intend to do anything about it, or even try to intend to do anything about it,” Mom tells me cheerfully. “Besides, your dad isn’t even discreet about it when he gives a younger woman the once-over.”

I feel my cheeks burning and I close my eyes for a moment. I can’t really say why I feel so embarrassed to hear something like this. I mean, my parents obviously have a sex life, and they’re human beings and all that. But it feels weird hearing her talk about the guy I grew up with like he’s someone from a GQ spread or something.

“They need to fix your hormones,” I say, walking into the house. “You’re turning into a letch.”

“I am not a letch,” Mom says tartly. “I am simply an older woman who knows what she likes.”

I roll my eyes at that and start up the stairs to my old room.

“I’m going back next door, come over when you’re ready to lend a hand,” Mom calls to me.

“You’re still painting, right?” I look over my shoulder to see Mom nod. “I’ll change into clothes I can get covered in paint, and then come over.”

I open up my suitcase once I’m in my room, and find my jeans and T-shirt. While I’m getting changed, I look out my window. Across the yard, the blinds are shut in the window directly opposite mine, so I can’t see into it, but I know that by the end of the day Zane will be in there. His parents, like mine, probably kept his bedroom more or less the way it was the day he left home.

I glance around my own room. Thankfully I had managed to develop some sense of taste by the time I left for New York City, for my then-new and exciting job at the publishing company. I’d last had my parents paint the walls a creamy off-white with a sage-green trim, and the bed that my parents had bought for me was a full-size with a wrought-iron headboard.

I toss my clothes from the drive into the hamper, and pull my hair back into a ponytail to keep it out of my face. I’m ready to go say hello to the Lewises and throw myself into helping them get ready for all the partying they’re going to do.

I say a quick hello to my dad out on the back patio on my way over. He’s in the middle of building something. Even if I hadn’t already volunteered to help next door, I had got into the habit when I was a kid of avoiding him when he worked with tools, because Mom didn’t want me to hear him cussing.

Of course, by now I could probably teach him a few phrases. Living in New York has been educational. I give him a quick peck on the cheek, and make my way across the yard, over the property line to the house next door.

“There’s my favorite girl!” Bev Lewis spots me even before my own mother does, and she puts down the paintbrush in her hand to give me a hug. She’d always wanted a daughter, but Zane was her only child. Mom had told Bev that she was just as much my mom as my mom was, anyway, and that had stuck.

I kiss her on the cheek and grin up at her.

“Happy anniversary, Bev!”

I give her shoulders an extra squeeze and I give her a kiss on the other cheek.

“Did your mother tell you Zane is coming tonight?”

I pull back from Bev, and nod. “She mentioned it. I’m glad he could get leave. God, twenty-five years of being married.” I shake my head in astonishment of that. I haven’t even had a relationship last more than twenty-five weeks.

“Your father and I are just about there, too,” my mom points out, barely looking up from the trellis she’s painting.

“And when your anniversary happens, I’ll be just as amazed,” I tell her. “Now, what do you need me to help you with, Bev?”

“After that long drive here, you’re right on over here to help me out?” Bev shakes her head, still smiling, and gives me a pat on the shoulder. “Just take it easy. Your mom and I are doing more wine drinking than painting at this point.”

“Just point me to what needs doing, and I’ll get started.”

I’m surprised at how good it feels, especially after the long drive from the city, to actually do something. I grab a paintbrush and get to work.

CHAPTER TWO

ZANE LEWIS

It’s almost midnight by the time I pull my rental car up the driveway at my parents’ place and cut off the engine. My flight ended up being delayed a good three hours, and then the airline had to figure out how to reroute me. Next door at the Polsens’ place, there’s a car out on the driveway. I perk up a bit. It’s possible they’ve got some kind of guest, but even more likely that Harper’s in town.

I get out of the car and grab my bag from the back seat. I figure my parents are probably already in bed, but I hear the front door opening and look up to see Mom standing there. She’s in pajamas, but she grins at me as I walk up to the front porch, and throws her arms around me like it’s been years instead of months since the last time I saw her.

“Happy anniversary, Mom,” I say, giving her a kiss, and she squeezes me harder.

“I’m so happy to see you, Zane,” Mom says, hugging me again before she finally lets me into the house.

“Your father’s already asleep. So if you’re hungry, there’s leftover pot roast in the fridge that I can heat up for you. I bought those chips you like,” Mom says as I put my stuff down. “It’s so good to see you, sweetheart,” she tells me.

“Good to see you, too, Mom,” I say, grinning at her.

“Your father’s pretty sure he fixed the problem with the cable reception in here, but if it’s still glitchy, let us know,” Mom says. She hugs me again and I hug her back.

“Mom, I’m not going to just up and disappear if you don’t keep hugging me,” I tell her.

She laughs. “I know, I’m just so glad,” she says. “I’m going to go and watch some horrible Lifetime movie, but if you need anything…”

“If I need anything, I know how and where to get it,” I tell her. “Relax, Mom! I’m not Aunt Tracy.”

“You certainly aren’t,” Mom agrees. “Thank God she decided to stay at a hotel.”

I snicker and Mom goes still, looking like she wants to bake an entire batch of cookies or maybe start the pot roast over from scratch for me. Some things never change.

“Did I tell you Harper came home for the week to be part of the celebration, too?”

“I saw a car out front next door,” I tell her. “I figured it was probably her.”

“She got in this afternoon, and helped us paint some trellises and things for the party,” Mom explains, as she leads me up the stairs to my old bedroom. No matter how many times I come home, no matter the fact that she would never have done this for me when I was a kid, Mom insists on walking me up to my bedroom as if I’m a guest.

Mom goes on about the preparations, about the parties they’re throwing, and I only kind of half-listen. She’s going to tell me all the same things tomorrow and the next day anyway.

Besides which, I have bigger things on my mind. My enlistment is coming to an end, and just before I left to come home my commanding officer sent me paperwork to sign. I could either leave the army or re-enlist. For the past week or so, since the first notice came, it’s been all I can think about. I know my mom wants me back home, or at least, close enough to home that I can visit more than maybe twice a year, but what would I even do outside of the military?

“Go watch your movie and get some sleep,” I suggest. “I’ll probably crash out in a bit.”

“I’ll see you in the morning, sweetheart,” Mom says, finally leaving me alone.

I shake my head and stand up. I’m a little hungry, but I figure I’ll give Mom a chance to settle in and get into her movie before I head for the kitchen. By then she should be able to let me fix my own plate and heat it up without wanting to do everything for me.

I look around my room, feeling a little bored and restless. Compared to my place on-base, it’s cluttered. Posters on the walls, stuff barely contained in my closet, trophies and badges and stuff from high school on my dresser and desk. The TV and my old PlayStation take up almost an entire corner. Nothing is in regulation colors. It’s good to be back, but weird at the same time, the way it was the first time. I don’t think it will ever not really be weird.

I open the blinds and look out through my window. All the lights are off at the Polsens’ place across the yard except for the one in Harper’s old room, but her curtains are closed. I figure I’ll go over in the morning to say hello, maybe ask Mom if I should invite them all over for breakfast or whatever.

Just as I come up with this idea, I see the curtains rustling in the window across the way, and then I see her. She’s in a tank top and shorts, her hair down around her shoulders, obviously getting ready to go to bed. She looks up and spots me at the same time.

I tug open my window and grin at her. Harper’s actually looking pretty good these days, I think to myself as I wave. Harper returns the wave and grins at me. She bites her bottom lip, and opens her own window, leaning out a bit.

“Hey!” She does that shout-whisper thing, and I lean out through my window. “Just get into town?”

“Yeah, Mom said you were here,” I call back, as quietly as I can.

“How long are you here for?”

“A week. You?”

“Same,” Harper says. “Are you tired?”

I shake my head. I suddenly don’t want to let her go without chatting more.

Harper looks over her shoulder and says, “Let’s go to our place before we wake someone up!”

I nod. We have a couple of different spots, but I know what she means.

Hopefully Mom is already starting to doze off, so she won’t question me leaving the house after midnight, right after finally getting home. I close my window and pull the shades.

CHAPTER THREE

HARPER POLSEN

I close the door behind me as quietly as I can and pull my robe a little tighter around my shoulders. I probably should have put proper clothes on, but I’d only just taken a shower before I saw Zane in the window. Besides, Zane had seen me in pajamas before. It wasn’t like it was all that different.

I pad across the backyard to the spot where Zane and I used to meet when we were kids and then teenagers. I see him come out of the house, and my heart skips a beat, just for a second. Oh come on, it’s just Zane.

I take a quick, deep breath and shake my head slightly at myself for reacting like that to him, but I have to admit that in the time since I saw him last, Zane has become very hot. He’s put on some muscle that I can see beneath his T-shirt in the backyard lights. As he gets closer to me, I can see that he’s sporting some new ink — an army insignia on his right forearm — and the edge of another one that I can’t make out starts just below his shirt sleeve. The high-and-tight haircut looks good with his dark hair and sharp-featured face. I have to admit that altogether he’s damn good looking.

He hurries to me and before I can even think of what to say, Zane hugs me tightly. I wrap my arms around his big, broad shoulders and find myself pressing my cheek to his chest almost without knowing what I’m doing.

“I swear to God you’re taller,” I say.

Zane laughs. “You’re looking pretty good yourself,” he says, pulling back and looking me over. I feel my cheeks heating up with a blush and look away with a laugh.

“You’re just saying that because there’s a breeze,” I tell him. I pull my robe around me even tighter. When I feel like I can meet his gaze again, I look up into Zane’s eyes. “So, happy to be back in town?”

“It’s nice,” Zane says. “The flight was a pain in the ass, though.”

“Yeah, the drive was pretty tough too,” I respond. It feels so awkward, but I can’t say why. I can’t even think about why.

“You came back into town just for my parents’ anniversary?”

I shrug off Zane’s question. “Well, I mean, they’re practically my aunt and uncle,” I point out. “Almost a second set of parents.”

“I don’t think the army would let me off for your parents’ anniversary,” Zane says, sitting down on the grass. I hesitate for a moment and decide to join him.

“I had the vacation time banked,” I explain, “and besides which, it’s better for me to take the time now than later.”

“Why’s that? Vacation’s vacation, isn’t it?”

“Not always,” I say, grinning wryly. “In the publishing industry, at least… well, I guess for any job, there are better times and worse times.”

“Military’s not that different,” Zane says. “Ask for leave during certain times of year and unless you’ve stayed on duty for over a year, you’re probably not going to get it granted.”

“Makes sense,” I say. “I was kind of surprised that you got leave at all.”

“It’s slow right now,” Zane says. “Not a lot going on and I had leave coming.”

“When was the last time you were in town?” I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them.

“I got a couple of days during Christmas,” Zane says. I nod.

“I must have just missed you.”

“Yeah, I think I remember your parents saying that you were about to come into town, that you’d had some kind of deadline, but that was right before I had to be back at base,” Zane agrees.

“Seems like that’s been happening a lot,” I observe. “It’s been what, like three, four years?”

“Almost five, I think,” Zane replies. “I shipped out for basic about a year after high school.”

“That’s right!” I think about it for a minute or two. “Kind of weird that in all that time we kept missing each other.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Zane shakes his head. “So, what’s your life really like, up there in the big city?”

I laugh. “It’s a lot like life here, actually,” I tell him. “Except, you know, a bigger chance of someone in my building getting robbed.” I pick a blade of grass and play with it between my fingers. “What’s the army like?”

“Pretty much what I thought it would be like,” Zane says after a moment. “I’ve made my way up the ranks a bit. I’m a specialist now, got my certification last year.”

“Making bank?” I grin at him.

Zane rolls his eyes. “Making more than I was making before,” he says. “But if it weren’t for accommodations on base and food at the mess hall, I’d be just about breaking even. What about you?”

“I’m making enough to stay afloat in Brooklyn, which is saying something,” I tell him with a grin. “But supposedly the publishing company I’m working for is underpaying me a bit for my skills.”

“What makes you say that?”

I shrug. “One of my friends who works for another publisher, doing mostly the same thing I’m doing, is making about three thousand a year more than me.”

“Oof, that sucks,” Zane says. “Any chance to talk them into bumping you up?”

I think about that. There’s a possibility that I might be able to talk the publisher I work for into upping my pay, but I’ll have to wait for that, at least for another couple of months. Once the big project is over, I’ll be in a position to ask for almost anything I want, as long as I do a good job at it.

“Maybe,” I tell him. “In the next couple of months, but not right now.”

We chat like that for a while, and it feels weird, but at the same time it actually kind of feels nice. I think about the different conversations that Zane and I have had over the years, before we parted ways, right in that same spot.

By the time I’m walking back to my house, yawning because it’s almost one in the morning, I think to myself that it was worth the little bit of grief I got at the office for asking for an entire week off.

I walk back to my room and turn down the sheets in my bed, exhausted. I know Mom and Dad will have me up early, helping the Lewises get ready for the first big party of their anniversary blowout.

As I drift off, I think to myself that my mom wasn’t all that wrong about Zane.

CHAPTER FOUR

ZANE LEWIS

As I get to the bottom of the stairs that morning, I can smell the eggs, bacon and coffee in the kitchen. I went to bed the night before after talking to Harper without even thinking about the leftover pot roast Mom had told me about, so I woke up starving.

Dad’s sitting at the table, and Mom’s taking something out of the oven as I walk into the kitchen.

“Just in time, as always,” Dad says with a smile.

“Never miss a meal,” I tell him.

He gets up and hugs me real quick before gesturing for me to take my usual seat at the table.

“We’ve got bacon, eggs, coffee, fruit salad and muffins,” Mom says. “If you can’t find something to eat, you’re not looking.”

She brings muffins to the table along with the bacon. The eggs and fruit salad are already there, and the three of us start eating.

“What’s on the agenda for today?” I shovel a forkful of eggs into my mouth and crunch some bacon with it. The mess hall on base is good, but there’s something about the way Mom does it.

“We need to finish getting the house ready,” Mom says.

“Your mother practically wants to renovate before tonight’s party,” Dad tells me.

“I do not!” Mom throws a muffin at him and Dad catches it and takes a bite. “Anyway, there’s just the decorating to do. Nadine and Harper are coming over to help in a little bit, too.”

That piques my interest a little bit, even though I was kind of expecting it.

“When does the party start?” I know Mom probably told me before, but I can’t remember. My parents have so much going on for their anniversary that it almost seems ridiculous.

“Starts at seven,” Dad says.

“I’ve got some stuff prepped for food, but I’ll need your help icing down the drinks and things, too,” Mom tells me.

“I can do that,” I say. I drink down some coffee, have some more eggs, bacon and another muffin. “What are we serving for food?”

“The usual stuff,” Mom replies. “That veggie plate everyone loves, your aunt is bringing her crab dip, Nadine agreed to make her salsa. Dad’s making his meatballs, and we’ll have some other odds and ends that people are bringing.”

“Your mom pre-made some kind of spinach pastry thing,” Dad adds.

“How many people are you expecting?” It sounded like a lot of food, but I knew by the end of the night it would probably be gone all the same, or at least there would only be enough leftovers for us to snack on the next day.

“Only about thirty-five for this one,” Mom says. “The bigger party, for the whole neighborhood, is in a few days.”

“Why do you need to have two parties?” I shake my head at that.

“We’re actually having three,” Dad says. “But the last one is just a dinner party with the Polsens.”

“Why three parties again?” I look at both of my parents, finishing off the fruit salad on my plate.

“Because we wanted to make a big deal out of our twenty-fifth anniversary,” Mom says with a shrug. “Plus, not everyone could make it tonight. We wanted to make sure we had at least one event that everyone could come to.”

“Why not make the big party the only one?” I grin. “I mean, unless you’re hoping to get triple the presents or something.”

“Because once we’d planned to have this one, we didn’t want to abandon it,” Mom replies. “Besides, it’s sort of a set-up, a pre-party for the big one.”

“I guess,” I say with a shrug.

“Now that we’ve got the plans all laid out, how’s your career going?” Dad refills his coffee mug.

“It’s going well,” I say. “I’m almost done with my term, so they’re offering me the chance to reenlist.”

“That’s good to hear, they don’t want to just shuffle you off,” Dad says.

I shrug. “I’m a specialist, so a little more valuable than I was a year ago,” I tell him. “But ultimately they just don’t want to get rid of anyone they don’t have to. Situation around the world’s pretty tense, so apart from grunts they’re trying to hold onto people.”

“Do you think you’ll do it?” Mom takes the coffee pot from Dad as she speaks, and waves it slightly in the direction of my mug. I nod that I’ll take a little more.

“I don’t know yet,” I admit. “I’ve got a couple of months before I have to really make a decision, right up until I have to do my discharge paperwork, but they’re already letting me know that staying in is an option.”

“Would there be a promotion down the line if you stayed in?”

I sipped my coffee, thinking about my dad’s question.

“Probably, at least in a while,” I tell him. “Not right away, but I’m already a specialist, so they’d want to push me to do even more, eventually.”

“What would getting out look like for you? Maybe you could go for your degree. The military will pay for that, after all,” Mom points out.

“I don’t know what I’d do if I got out,” I say. “I could go for a degree, but I don’t even know what I’d want to do.” That was the big question, what was I worth outside of the army?

“You’ve got some time to think about it,” Dad points out. “Weigh the pros and cons, figure out what works best for you.”

“Definitely,” I agree. “It’s a big decision, you know?”

“I’d love to have you back home, at least for a good little while,” Mom says. “You could get a job in town. I’m sure a lot of places around here hire vets.”

“Just because he leaves the army doesn’t mean he has to come home,” Dad points out. “I think it’d be good for Zane to get a fresh start altogether if he leaves.”

“That would depend on me getting a job right out of the army,” I say. “And I don’t know who would want to hire me.”

“Lots of people would want to hire you,” Mom insists.

“Let’s talk about something else,” I suggest. “I’ve got time ahead of me. Before I really talk about this I need to figure out what both things are going to look like.”

I hear a knock at the back door, a few yards away from me, and Mom gets up. It’s Nadine and Harper. I take a moment to look Harper over again in decent light. She’s got her long, dark hair in two braids and she’s in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. She makes both pieces of clothing look good enough that the brand should have paid her for wearing them.

When did she get so hot?

The girl I’d known all my life had always been sort of pretty, but not outright hot. This woman standing in my kitchen, talking to my mom, is someone I would have probably singled out at a base bar, at least to chat her up.

“Okay,” Nadine says. “Where do we get started on decorating this place?” I grab my plate and take it to the sink, preparing myself for a long, long day ahead.

“We need to clean up breakfast first,” Mom says. “And I’ve got some decorations ready to put up. Would either of you want to help me with some of the last-minute food prep?”

I put my plate in the sink, finish my coffee and start grabbing the rest of the dishes off the table to wash them. If nothing else, the army has taught me that no one doesn’t appreciate someone else doing the cleaning.

CHAPTER FIVE

HARPER POLSEN

“Starting to really shape up out here,” Bev says, stepping out onto the porch. Mom and I are setting up tables, while Zane is dealing with lights along the roof. We’ve been at it for maybe twenty minutes while Bev got started on the food.

“It’ll look even better with the tablecloths and candles and stuff laid out,” Mom says. “When are the flowers supposed to be coming in, Bev?”

I grab one of the ends of a table, and Mom grabs the other. We pull together, until the legs straighten and it looks more or less level. Mom and Bev apparently designed an entire layout for the tables outside and the decorations inside the house, with flower arrangements and candles and all kinds of other stuff. It would probably come out looking great, but for the moment I found myself thinking it was kind of ambitious for four people to tackle.

“The florist called about five minutes ago and said the delivery van was on the way,” Bev replies. “Make sure you get the staples down good, Zane,” she adds.

“I’m doing it,” Zane says. “I’ve assembled and disassembled guns in one minute, I think I can tack down some lights.”

“Totally different skill set,” I call out. Mom and I settle the table on the ground, making sure to sit it firmly in the grass, so it won’t wobble. There’s a pile of tablecloths ready, a bottom layer that’s a pale, dusky pink, and a top layer that’s some kind of lace, and boxes of candles on the porch where Bev stands.

“I think there’s one more,” Mom says, counting the number of tables we’ve already put together.

I look around the backyard and picture it the way I think it will be that evening, with the sun going down, the candles and flowers, the way it would look kind of dreamy. It was going to be beautiful.

“Yep,” I agree. “One more table and then we can get to work on decorating them.”

Zane tacks down the lights he’s handling with a few more cracks from the staple gun in his hand. I look in his direction. I’ve been doing that all morning. I can’t seem to make myself stop.

I’d thought I’d gotten a good idea of his newfound gorgeousness the night before, but in the daylight it’s even more obvious. In jeans and T-shirt — both of them fitting him perfectly — I can see how much muscle he put on. His face lost most of the boyish look too and it really suits him.

“Don’t work too hard,” Bev says, sitting on the patio. “I want you both to be able to actually enjoy the party tonight.”

“Maybe I’ll take a nap,” I suggest.

“You are far too young to need to take an afternoon nap before a party,” Mom tells me.

Zane snickers from where he’s almost finished hanging up the strings of lights.

“It’s just good sense,” I point out. “I used to do it in college too. Take a nap, that way you can stay up until four in the morning.”

“Just admit it, you’ve turned into an old woman already,” Bev says, grinning at me.

I roll my eyes. “Not at all!” I can feel my cheeks heating up.

“Harper was always an old woman,” Zane chimes in.

“Hush, you!” I scowl at him playfully. “You don’t get to have an opinion about me, considering you spent an entire year after high school doing little more than partying.”

“I’d rather have been a party-boy in my younger years than old before my time,” Zane says, sticking out his tongue at me. Something about the way he does it, in spite of the fact that he’s done that to me hundreds of times from childhood through when we parted ways after high school, sends a little jolt of heat through me.

“I’m not old before my time, I just believe in balance,” I say primly. “Besides which, I highly doubt this party is going to keep going until four in the morning.”

“You never know,” Bev says. “Before we became mothers, we could have partied until dawn and then gone to work.”

“Yeah, but that was before you had us,” Zane said. “You’re out of practice.”

Mom and I grab the last table and pull it open, settling it onto the grass and making sure it’s not going to wobble, and we head for the patio, where Zane is finishing the lights.

“Tables down, lights done,” Zane says, jumping from the last rung of the ladder. “What else have we got to do, Mom?”

“Your dad and I have the living room cleared, so as soon as the flowers get here, we’ll be ready to finish everything up,” Bev says.

“Do you want any help with the food before people start arriving?” Mom starts sorting through the candles, putting them into the groups that they should be in for the tables, and I help her.

“I think I’ve got it under control,” Bev replies. “Besides, aren’t you bringing something too?”

“We’re going to make a couple of things,” I say. “That yogurt dip everyone likes and Mom talked me into making pasta salad.”

“I didn’t know you knew how to cook,” Zane says, giving me a little look that I might have thought was flirty coming from anyone else. “Five years out of high school and you’ve become the perfect woman.”

“She works too much for that,” Mom counters. “Never goes out, always staying up late on some project.”

“That’s because she hasn’t found a guy to sweep her off her feet yet,” Bev says. “Besides, nothing wrong with a woman who isn’t afraid of a little hard work. Most men are hard work.” She gives Zane a nudge. “If this one ever finds someone willing to put up with his crap, I will get down on my knees and worship her as a saint.”

“I thought you army types got married young,” I tell Zane.

“Some do,” he admits. “The rest of us enjoy being footloose and fancy free for a while.”

“Neither of our children is ever going to give us grandkids,” Bev tells my mom with a sigh. “Maybe we should pool money and adopt a grandchild.”

I roll my eyes and Zane does too. “Haven’t you heard? Our generation in general is having kids later,” I point out. “It isn’t that you won’t get grandkids, it’s that it’s not financially feasible for us to give them to you until we’re over thirty.”

“You tell ‘em,” Zane says.

“All right, all right,” Bev says. “I can wait a few more years to have grandkids. But if neither of you are married in five years, we’re going to get you both green card spouses.”

“Besides, how do either of you expect to get to twenty-five years of marriage if you don’t get started until you’re over thirty?” My mom asks.

“As proud of you as I’m sure both of us are,” I say, “I don’t know if I can even imagine being married for twenty-five years.”

***

Thank you for reading the first five chapters of Overlooked. Want more? Go to Amazon.com to read the full book. Thank you!