“A sparkling debut from an author to be watched.”

-- USA Today Bestselling author S.E. Babin

“Delightful debut novel! A fabulous rom com; a misunderstanding of epic proportions, an accidental makeover, a love triangle, and a truly delicious ending!!”

-- Whitney Dineen, Bestselling Author of
The Reinvention of Mimi Finnegan

“Wow! What a ride - heartbreak, revenge, high-octane cattiness. It's Dynasty for the Chick Lit set. It's Mean Girls
in a little gray dress. It's just so fun!”

--Geralyn Corcillo, Bestselling chick lit author

“Little Gray Dress by Aimee Brown is simply a fun read to escape with while spending a day at the beach or cozying up on the couch on a rainy afternoon. Filled with as much humor as heartache, Brown sends main character, Emi Harrison’s life in a tailspin through misunderstandings, miscommunications and evil manipulations.”

--Effie Kammenou, women’s fiction author & food blogger

“A must read for any lover of Chick Lit! Clear your schedule, feed your pets, put the kids to bed, make some tea or pour a nice glass of wine and be prepared to spend hours sighing and laughing out loud as you divulge into Emi’s world!”

--Nikki LeClair, author of The Haunting Me series

“Witty and full of heart... a total gem!”

--Camilla Isley, chick lit author

Little Gray Dress

Aimee Brown

Copyright © 2017 by Aimee Brown

Artwork: Adobe Stock © Anna Ismagilova

Design: soqoqo

Editor: Sue Barnard

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission of the author or Crooked Cat Books except for brief quotations used for promotion or in reviews. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, and incidents are used fictitiously.

First Crooked Love Cats Edition, Crooked Cat Books. 2017

Discover us online:

www.crookedcatbooks.com

Join us on facebook:

www.facebook.com/crookedcat

Tweet a photo of yourself holding

this book to @crookedcatbooks

and something nice will happen.

To my family,

you guys always knew

I could be great at more

than just cleaning

the house.

Acknowledgements

First of all, I was beginning to wonder if I’d ever get to write acknowledgments at all. Unless of course I broke tradition and wrote them before I actually finished a complete book (which sounds like something I’d probably do).

To my husband and our children, Corey, Brentan, Hallie, and Rylen. I know you all know how much you mean to me. But, I’d like to thank you in public for not complaining (too much) about having to eat cereal for dinner 5 out of 7 nights a week while I pursued my dream in becoming an author.

Thank you, to my amazing beta readers; Camilla Isley, Bernadette Maycock, Chelsey Krause and Brook McCoy. Without you, this book might not be what it is. Your encouragement and support were exactly what I needed to not throw out another nearly complete manuscript.

To my amazing editor, Sue Barnard. A few months ago I only knew of you. Now, you are the amazing editor that helped me polish this book into something I’m so proud of. You also taught me that in the UK, if a man slides his hand into his ‘pants’ that he’d probably make the nightly news. Whew, thank you for saving me from that mistake.

There are a lot of amazing authors that I’d love to thank individually but there just isn’t room. So many of you have allowed me to be a part of your own book releases and writing journeys. Through all of you, I’ve learned what it takes to be a true author. I’ve learned so many tricks of the trade without actually having to find out the hard way. To the authors and bloggers that join me in the ChickLitChatHQ group, thank you for being so incredibly supportive. Never in a million years did I imagine I’d find the friends I have through this journey.

Crooked Cat Books, thank you for taking a chance on an unknown author. You have helped make my dream come true and there are no words to express how much that means to me.

And finally, to my fabulous book blogging friends, you know who you are. Without you, so many authors would be unknown. You do more for the book world than you get credit for. Thank you for being dedicated readers and amazing cheerleaders for even new authors like myself.

Aimee

About the Author

Aimee Brown is a writer and avid reader, often blogging her thoughts on chick lit books. She’s currently studying for her Bachelor's degree in English Writing. She spends much of her time writing her next book, doing homework, raising three teenagers, binge watching shows on Netflix and obsessively cleaning and redecorating her house. She’s fluent in sarcasm and has been known to use far too many swear words.

Aimee grew up in Oregon but is now a transplant living in cold Montana with her husband of twenty years, three teenage children, and far too many pets.

She would love to hear your thoughts on Little Gray Dress! If you want to chat with her she’s very active on social media. Find her over at Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest or her author website - www.authoraimeebrown.com.

Continue checking her website for information on her next book release!

Little Gray Dress

Chapter One

Present Day

Dallas, Texas.

A Bad Dress

“It won’t zip.” I look over my shoulder trying to see just how much of a gap there is in the zipper.

The seamstress pulls open the curtain and peeks in. “Ohh…” She taps her lips with her forefinger. “Maybe a corset will help?”

“A corset? Like, what they used to wear in the 1800s?” I ask, worried that instead of just looking fat I’ll end up with crushed ribs as well.

“They aren’t quite as excruciating as they were back then. I’ll just go grab one.”

“A corset, Lily!” I yell through the curtain at my best friend. “Did you hear that? I’m so fat that I need to cinch it all in with a corset.” I stick my face out of the edge of the curtain, only to see Lily’s nod.

“I don’t know what you’re complaining about, Ems. I wear Spanx every day of my life.” She rolls her eyes at me. Spanx isn’t an option for me; I need the big guns of underwear to make this dress even a tiny bit presentable.

I peel the dress off and drape it over the small chair in the fitting room. The dress could be described as ‘daring’, but a more fitting word would be ‘repulsive’. It could cause the ugly swan dress Bjork wore to the Academy Awards to bow its head in shame. Which I think is what it was doing that night, anyway. Hannah must have lost her mind to create this disaster as a bridesmaid’s gown. Maybe the dress itself isn’t that terrible, but on me… it’s appalling.

“Here we go!” The seamstress holds up a white corset. “We’ll just get you tied into this and we should be good to go.”

If only it was that easy. It takes ten minutes of pulling, pushing, and adjusting. I wish I could say that the super-strength, agonizingly uncomfortable corset does the trick. It nearly does, but to really drive home the fact that I still look terrible, we also opt for high-waisted Spanx-like underwear that hits me just below the breast. Then the corset itself, and I swear at one point it felt as if the seamstress has a foot on my back as she pulled the strings as tight as they could go to get it on. Then, as if two pairs of smoothing and self-shrinking underwear aren’t enough, we add some kind of full-length slip to smooth out the uh… lumpy areas. Which give me a bit more flare at the bottom of the skirt, in an attempt to achieve that hourglass shape that this dress so desperately needs, as opposed to the pear shape I seem to have taken on recently.

Sadly, the biggest problem I’m going to have at this wedding isn’t even the fact that I’ll be wearing a lot of body-cinching underwear underneath an ugly, far-too-snug dress created by my almost sister-in-law, Hannah.

My biggest concern is Hannah’s brother: Jack Cabot. My ex-fiancé.

Jack and I dated for five years, and for the last one of those years we were engaged. In all honesty, it was the best five years of my life, right up until that last day. That day is forever burned into my brain and has ruined so many parts of me. That was the day he shattered my heart, and I still haven’t found all the pieces.

I probably shouldn’t have put off the first fitting. Maybe my reflection in the dress wouldn’t be so shocking if I’d started the alteration process a month ago. Or maybe not. I’m sure the whole experience, no matter when I started it, would be just as traumatizing as it feels right now.

I wonder what her other bridesmaids look like body-wise. I’m thinking they don’t sport my size 12 muffin top, C bra cups and thunder thighs. Probably they don’t require a hundred dollars in special underwear to look presentable in this dress.

“Are you sure it’s the right size, Emi?” Lily asks, as I walk out of the dressing room, her face in an awkward gritted smile. She walks over to me and holds out her hand to help me inch my way to the center of the room.

“It is now, after crushing my internal organs into everything I’m wearing underneath it.” It takes me three tries myself, and Lily assisting with a nudge from behind, to successfully position myself up on to the pedestal I’ve been directed to, for further alterations.

“Hannah said it should fit to my measurements.” Measurements that should have equalled a size 12, ish. When I first tried it on this morning I didn’t think it would pull up over my hips without tearing. Somehow, after a lot of chanting to the miracle gods, I got it up. That’s when I started to panic and gave up, deciding that I would cross my fingers and hope the alterations shop could help fix things.

“I mean, it’s gorgeous but it’s just so—”

“Tight?” I finish the sentence for her.

Lily nods her head, her face scrunched into a confused look. “That’s one word.” She sits on the pink velvet couch facing the pedestal I’m standing on, her arms crossed across her chest. “Can you even sit? Or walk without looking knock-kneed?”

The dress is pretty, and on anyone a size 2 and under it’d probably be va-va-voom gorgeous without any extra unseen help. But the medieval underwear does appear to be helping fake that look. My boobs look fantastic. I’m not sure they’ve sat this high on my chest since I was in my early twenties. The rest of it, well… It pretty much fits like a glove. The latex kind. At the knee it flares out to the floor; that section is covered in a mix of gray and black feathers seemingly dipped in glitter. I’d have preferred it to be strapless, but instead it has off-the-shoulder straps that make it impossible to lift my arms more than six inches from my body. But this doesn’t matter anyway, since I can barely move at all.

Then there are the shoes: strappy, sparkly, platform, and at least ten inches high. Well, maybe not ten inches, but it feels that way. The fact that I can only take small steps may make things more difficult. I’ve fallen in the middle of sidewalks wearing no heels at all, so these ones aren’t giving me much hope for grace and poise when walking down an aisle in front of everyone I know.

“I’m not sure I can walk at all with the combo of layers; cinched-up underwear, a skin-tight dress and stripper shoes…” I chew on my lip as I stare into the tri-fold full-length mirrors in front of me, and wonder if this is one of those deceptively flattering mirrors Elaine is always going on about in Seinfeld. Probably instead of looking lovely, I look more like an overstuffed sausage.

“It doesn’t look completely terrible now,” Lily reassures me with a small grin. She was lucky enough to be with me at my apartment this morning when she witnessed my panic of the dress not fitting. “The underwear helps. You do look a little stiff though.”

“That’s one word for it, I suppose. If I take a full breath I’m a little worried I’ll have some kind of underwear malfunction.” The last thing I need is an internet-worthy video surfacing when this wedding is over.

I force myself to look away from the mirror and watch the seamstress, who is kneeling at my feet and already working on the necessary alterations. Swiftly pinning the hem, just above the feathers, so I don’t drag it across the floor. I’m not exactly tall, standing at only 5’3”, and since Hannah didn’t think of how a dress like this hits a short girl, this poor woman has a long night of hemming ahead of her. Her gray hair is piled high on her head and her dress is a plain black version of Mrs Doubtfire’s dresses, including the drabby cardigans. She’s really a little depressing-looking, especially considering the alteration shop we’re in doubles as a bridal store that looks like you’ve just stepped into a giant, sparkly, tulle cloud.

“What’s with the shiny gray material anyway?” Lily asks the question I’ve wondered about myself. Gray I can see, it’s one of my favorite colors. But the muted sheen of the fabric is not helping with the imperfections I’d like to hide.

“Her official wedding colors are black, gray and pink.”

“It’s so depressing, Emi, it just makes me sad looking at it.” Lily is sad yet her camera clicks with a touch of a finger. She’s telling me I look the worst I ever have, and here she is taking pictures so we can remember it forever. “I’ve never seen anything like it. She may as well have wrapped you in foil. I mean seriously, you look like a foil-wrapped burrito.”

Great. “Thanks.” Only a best friend could be as blunt as Lily and add to my list of clothing styles not to wear. I already do a fine job of that myself. When you’re a short girl and wear a size 12 you might as well just have a seamstress on call for alterations of anything you purchase. For some reason clothing designers seem to think that if you’re fat, you’re also unreasonably tall. My boobs are big, my legs are short, my hips are wide and my thighs shudder at the phrase thigh gap.

“Can you let it out at all?” Lily is talking to the seamstress who’s still at my feet.

“No, you don’t let a dress like this out. You take it in,” she says, in a sharp, irritated voice. “Did she order you two sizes above your actual size? Formal dresses always run small. Someone should have told her to order up.” She doesn’t stop pinning while talking, and can somehow speak with a mouth full of pins. If it was me, I’d be on my way to the emergency room, because I’d have swallowed at least one.

“That’s likely the problem. She didn’t order it from a store. She designed it and was supposed to make it to fit.” I glance down at Alteration Lady, who rolls her eyes without speaking and goes back to pinning. She must have dealt with designers before.

“News flash, yours doesn’t fit. Maybe you gained some weight since you sent her your measurements?” Lily suggests.

“Lily, I’ve gained thirty pounds in two years. I threw out my scale a while ago, so I have no doubt that my ass has only got bigger since measurement day six months ago.” It’s not completely my fault I’ve gained some weight. It happens when you own a coffee shop and you love everything you serve. It wouldn’t be right to set out pastries that I hadn’t tested. I mean, what if they were bad? When I test one I know they are the quality that I want to serve. Plus, who doesn’t drink five lattes a day? Opening a business on your own is stressful.

Why didn’t I think of faking my measurements and add an inch, maybe three, to all of them? Probably because I had planned to start going to the gym I bought a membership for so I could lose thirty pounds before having to go face a room full of people I never thought I’d see again. I should have known better, especially knowing this would likely be a custom fashion masterpiece of a dress by the one and only Hannah.

Hannah. That’s her clothing label. No last name, no cutesy Miss Me title, just Hannah. She said she wanted simple, classy, and elegant. I can see almost all of that in this dress, except for the fact that I’m the one wearing it. I guess I’ll never be a fashion model. This is her first real design, besides her own wedding dress. After seeing the bridesmaid dress, I’m wondering just how sexy the wedding gown will be?

“I think you should call her and show her every flawed inch of this thing, without the underwear assistance.” Lily says. “If she plans to run a business doing custom designs, she needs to pay more attention to her clients’ body types.” Her lips are pinched and her eyebrows are raised. “I know if I ordered this from her and it fit the way this one does, I’d refuse to pay her and go somewhere else.”

Lily may or may not be the bitchier one in our relationship. She doesn’t hold back. If you don’t want to know what she thinks, don’t ask. I have an unspoken appreciation for it. Her bitchiness is handy in a variety of situations and she’s somehow become successful because of it. She is head English Professor at a small private college here in Dallas. Let’s just say, she’s the professor about whom students use the phrase “Oh… you got McConnell? Sucky.” She knows it and she loves it. The fear of the kids as they walk into her class is better than a cup of coffee for Lily.

“Grab my phone and Facetime her,” I say. “Let’s see what she thinks. Maybe I’ll get lucky and look so terrible that she’ll decide I don’t even need to go.”

“You know that won’t happen.” Lily taps at my phone before turning it to me making sure it’s a full body shot.

“Ohhhhh! Emi!” Hannah’s face fills the screen without me even hearing the phone ring. “Wow! What do you think?”

“Um… I think I can barely breathe. I definitely can’t sit. I’m pretty sure it’s too small?” I ask it as a question, hoping to God I’m right and she’ll offer to whip up a new one in the next three days.

“No, it’s not. It’s supposed to be very Marilyn Monroe vintage. I think you look gorgeous! It’s exactly how I pictured it!”

Lily’s eyebrows rise again behind the phone and a smirk creeps up on her face. She’s probably glad Hannah can’t see her face because it would give away her disapproval. Obviously, Hannah and I have different ideas of ‘gorgeous’.

“Um, it’s exactly as you pictured because underneath it all I’m tied in as tight as possible! Without the helpfulness of the torturous underwear I definitely would not look this… curvy,” I whine, opting for a word that is code for fat. I run my hands down my sides, enjoying the feeling of fake perfection while I can. “I can’t wear this for more than a few hours, I’ll crush my insides!”

“Shut up. No one thinks you’re fat!” She cracked my code. “You look totally hot. And I, for one, know for a fact that even Jack will be smitten.”

“I don’t want him to be smitten, Hannah,” I snap at her into the phone. She knows as well as I do that any conversation topic that starts with the words Jack, or My brother, are off limits. “I want him to be miserable.” He deserves at least that.

I don’t know why I’m still worried about what he might think about me. Especially since I’ve had every chance to take him back if I’d wanted to. I couldn’t, though. Jack cheated on me, two days before our wedding. Now, I have to face him and hope that this corset doesn’t fail mid-way through the wedding to reveal just how much I’ve let myself go since I left.

Chapter Two

Two Years Ago

Downtown Portland, Oregon

The Break-Up

“I’m doing a last-minute alteration because I lost another five pounds, Lil. Want to come with me?” I ask her before she can even say hello into the phone.

“Sure. My classes today were canceled due to some flooding issue at the school, so if you promise to let me drink the champagne this time I’ll come.”

“You might have a problem, ya know?” If only she could hear my eye-roll through the phone. “It’s a fitting. I don’t think they serve champagne at fittings. We’re not in Beverly Hills. They likely save champagne for the initial dress consultation when you need a little buttering up to spend thousands of dollars on a dress you’ll only wear for one day.”

“It’s Friday, I have an unexpected day off, and if I want to drink at 9:30 in the morning I’m gonna,” she snaps into the phone. “I’ll meet you there in twenty.”

Thirty minutes later and I’m walking into the bridal salon and see Lily already reclined on the couch waiting for me. “Sorry I’m late. I planned on being early but you know me.”

She nods her head in agreement. “What was it this time? A pair of shoes you couldn’t leave behind? A coffee shop you hadn’t been to before?” She waves her hand in the air as if there is a never-ending list of excuses I use when I’m late.

The list isn’t exactly never-ending, because I’m not always lying. But sometimes when I dread doing something I’m intentionally late, because at times it takes me a while to come up with a believable story for why I’m late. That is not the case this time.

“Neither. Lara’s husband just called and she fell on her way to work this morning and shattered her ankle. She’s on her way into surgery now and he wanted to let me know that she can’t be a bridesmaid.” I sigh, trying to hold back the tears. These kinds of things are not supposed to happen two days before your wedding. “How am I gonna find someone to replace her in one day that can fit into her dress?”

I went to college with Lara and she is quite possibly the sweetest girl I’ve ever met. She works as an editor in a small publishing company based here in Portland, and she is one of those girls who refuses to use a red pen on her clients' work because she doesn’t want to seem too harsh. Having to drop out of the wedding via a phone call from her husband is probably killing her.

“Um… I don’t know. Sounds like you’re screwed.”

“Emi!” Glenda (the woman who’s done all my fittings) excitedly pulls me in for a hug. “It’s almost here, are you excited?”

“Sure.” I try to hide the disappointment in finding out I now have one fewer bridesmaid than we have groomsmen, but there is no fooling Glenda.

“Uh-oh… What happened? I’m sure there’s a fix.”

“My other bridesmaid just dropped out at the last minute.” I wipe away an escaped tear rolling down my cheek. I don’t know what it is about planning weddings but they seem to bring out a woman’s emotional side, even when she didn’t know she had one.

“She didn’t drop out,” Lily corrects me. “The girl is injured and in surgery. That’s hardly dropping out.”

“Oh no. The tiny one?” Glenda suddenly side-eyes Lily with a forced smile. Lily glares over at us for basically just calling her the big one, even though she’s still smaller than me.

“Yes! Who could possibly fit in that dress?”

“Hmmm….” Glenda taps her foot on the ground. “What about that young girl that was here for your fitting? The gorgeous blonde?”

“Hannah?” Lily scrunches up her face in disapproval. She’s never loved Hannah even though they are together a lot. Hannah seems to always be trying to pinch Lily out of her BFF title. It’ll never happen, but that doesn’t mean Hannah won’t continue to try.

“You think?” I ask Lily, who’s already shaking her head.

“No way. She’s the most annoying girl on the planet. Nothing is up to her standards. Plus, she’ll probably try to squeeze me out of Maid of Honor spot since now she’ll officially be family.”

Having two best friends never works, and this is exactly why. There are too many opportunities for jealousy, talking about someone behind their back and someone feeling left out. I’ve tried to make it very clear to Hannah that she’s going to be my sister-in-law, and that is just as important as Lily being my best friend, but she’s not buying it. But sisters should be best friends, she whined to me one day while I was planning the bridal party.

“She might be my only option. She was pretty disappointed when I told her I was only having two bridesmaids and she wasn’t one of them.”

Jack had asked a friend from high school and a friend from college to be his groomsmen, and I figured I would do the same. I might look pathetic if I could only get a friend from high school and a future family member to stand at my side during the wedding as if I had no other friends.

“See if she can stop by today and I’ll make any necessary last-minute alterations before you pick the dresses up tonight.” Glenda smiles sweetly at us. “Now come, let’s try on this dress and see just how much you’ve shrunk!”

Five pounds is not as much as I hoped it was. It was only a few pins for Glenda. No wonder she said she could get it done and move up my pick-up time from tomorrow morning to tonight. The total last-minute alteration will probably take her ten minutes tops. I guess a size 8 dress is still pretty good for me, the girl who’s never worn under a size 10 in her entire teen to adult life. It’s like puberty hit and Mother Nature said goodbye to the flat figure.

“You look beautiful,” Lily grins, as I walk out to model, her approval apparent in her face. “Jack is gonna love it.”

“I don’t care if Jack loves it. I love it.”

It’s the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen. I’m not a flashy girl so there is no beading or gemstones, no glitter, or sequins. It’s just a plain white, ruched dress. It’s form-fitting from the sweetheart neckline to the knees and then it flares out wider to the ground. It shows off that I’ve recently lost twenty pounds, and I look like a bride.

“It’ll be a gorgeous wedding.” Glenda beams at her previous work of fitting me into a dress that was a size too big when I bought it.

“It will. OK, I need to get going. I’m meeting Jack for lunch and we’re picking up the tuxedos and we have to meet with Megan for a quick run-through of everything to be done over the next twenty-four hours.”

“Why does she need your help with that? Aren’t you paying her to plan the wedding? I’d think the decisions would’ve been set in stone by now.”

“Of course they are. She just likes to make sure we know everything that’s happening so problems don’t arise. It’s why she costs so much,” I explain.

Lily shrugs her shoulders as an ok.

Lily didn’t have the big formal wedding. She decided to bring a few of her closest friends and family to Mexico where she eloped in a flowing dress on the beach. It was gorgeous, quick, and very Lily. No wedding planner needed.

“What are you doing the rest of the day, Lil?” I ask through the curtain as Glenda helps me get out of the dress without poking a needle through my skin. A bloodstain is the last thing I need on a wedding dress right now.

“I’ll probably go home and watch talk shows all day.”

“Perfect,” I say sarcastically, knowing Lily lives for talk shows. Not that they are anything like they were when we were in high school. Sally Jesse Raphael, Jenny Jones, and Montel were all the rage back then. Nothing like a little night-time news murder coverage to go with a storyline you saw on the daytime talk shows. Now it’s so boring, you have The View, The Talk and not as much family drama makes it to the shows. It’s all about celebrities and politics. I’d rather have a day job than watch today’s daytime TV.

I give Glenda Hannah’s number and hop on the Max train to Jack’s office downtown. His office makes me wish I’d become a lawyer. I guess all those years of student loans make for a great office space. Granted it’s only on the third-floor level of a building right downtown, but he got a corner office facing a busy street and it’s great for peoplewatching. The best part, though, is that I helped him decorate it Mad Men style, so it’s got a retro cool feel to it.

“Hey Andy,” I greet the head of the firm as I walk past his office and he waves me in. Andy Morgan is top dog at Morgan, Steller & Cabot. He’s been in the business longer than I’ve been alive and according to Jack he’s the best of the best. He’s won cases that nobody thought possible, and he’s taken Jack in like the son he’s never had. He may be a little creepy at times but I think it’s mostly because he’s been married four times and just can’t seem to keep his hands to himself when it comes to the women.

“So, you’re stealing our boy away for three weeks after today, huh?”

“That’s right, and if I need to I’ll throw his phone into the ocean too.”

We both laugh, even though I know it might actually happen. I swear I never knew lawyers were on the clock 24/7 until I got involved with one. He seems to always be needed to answer a question or update someone on a case they are looking into.

“I suppose that’ll be OK. Hey, I wanted to give you this before the wedding.” He grabs an envelope off his desk and walks over to me, dropping it into my opened hand. “I truly hope this wedding will be the only marriage you’ll ever need.” He winks at me before walking back to his desk and getting comfortable in his chair. “Go on, open it.”

I hate opening gifts in front of people. What if what they gave you is embarrassing or horrible? How do you keep your face from going with your feelings as opposed to the thank you coming out of your mouth? Normally that’s what gives me away. Despite my best efforts, my face doesn’t always match my words.

When I open the card a check glides to the floor, landing at my feet. I grab it and stare, stunned for a moment over the amount it’s made out for.

“Five – Thousand – Dollars? What? Andy…we can’t—”

“Yes, you can,” he demands from his desk with a stern look on his face. “Now, I never had kids and you two are special to me. I want to make sure you get the best start.”

“Wow, well… Thank you.” What do you say to a five-thousand-dollar check from your almost-husband’s boss? Thank you seems nowhere near enough, but it’s all I know to do.

“Now go, find that fiancé of yours.”

“Thank you, again, Andy.” I back out of his office safely shoving the card and check into my purse before heading down the hall towards Jack’s office.

“Hey Mad—” I start to say hello to Jack’s assistant Madison when I realize she’s not sitting at her desk. She was hired about a month ago, so I don’t know her well, but she always seems like the sweetest girl whenever I’m here. She’s just out of school as a legal assistant and she really has helped Jack with organizing his cases and information.

“Are you ready?” I open Jack’s office door and hear a startled squeal to my left. When I turn to look, I feel like I’m suddenly having an out-of-body experience.

Madison is straddling Jack, face to face, on the couch. She’s almost completely naked, with a haughty look on her face as she tries to nonchalantly grab a piece of clothing from the couch arm.

“Emi!” Jack pushes her aside and jumps up while trying to straighten his rumpled shirt. “It’s not what you think.”

For a moment, I can’t say anything. The whole room is spinning and my feet are suddenly giant cement blocks attached to the floor. If it’s not what I think it is, then what the hell is it?

“Ems,” Jack is grabbing my purse off the floor and picking up the things that have rolled across the ground. “I was not having sex with her. I know it looked bad but that’s not what happened.”

“Why are you even in here?” I yell at Madison, who is slowly walking the room picking up her stray pieces of clothing.

“What does it look like I was doing?” She smirks at me before disappearing into Jack’s private bathroom.

“Let me explain,” Jack begs again, his face pale as a ghost and his dark hair disheveled and unruly.

“What. The. Fuck. Jack? How could you do this to me?”

“I didn’t. I… uh… I…” He stumbles over his words, fidgets with his tie and kicks Madison's shoes out of his way to get to me.

“Give me that!” I grab my purse from his hands and turn to the hallway to make my escape.

“Emi, stop.” He grabs my arm and pulls me back in his office and shuts the door. “Let me explain.”

“Fuck you, Jack! There is nothing to explain. I saw what I saw.” I jerk the door open, slamming it against the bookcase behind it and speed-walk down the hall but stop momentarily just in front of Andy’s office when I hear Jack running behind me. Maybe it’s not what I think; he was wearing a lot more clothes than Madison. Yet somehow, she ended up nearly naked. That’s not nothing.

“Please, Ems.”

I turn to face him when Andy gets to his doorway to see what is happening. No, I can’t pretend like what I just saw was right on any level.

“You know what, Jack? She can have you.” I pull the 3-carat diamond ring off my finger and for a moment I just stare at it. I am supposed to be getting married in two days. I can feel my heart sinking in my chest as Jack starts to walk towards me with his eyes glistening with tears. “Don’t follow me.” I pitch the ring at his head and watch him duck before scrambling to grab it off the floor.

I run to the stairwell and when the heavy door booms shut behind me I run down three flights of stairs and the three blocks to a parking garage, where I disappear in between cars just in case he’s following me.

“Are you OK?” I hear a voice behind me and realize I’m leaning on this man's car, sobbing. “Can I get you some help?”

I shake my head and wander to the Max train platform to catch a ride anywhere but here. Where do I go? I pull out my phone and scroll through the contacts. Lily.

“Can I come over?” I sob into the phone, startling Lily out of her daytime TV trance.

“Of course, are you crying? What happened?”

“Crying? Yeah. It’s a long story. I’ll be there in a few.”

How do I explain over the phone that I just caught my fiancé, the man I fell in love with at first sight, underneath his nearly-nude receptionist, two days before our wedding? Or whatever it is he was doing. How could this happen? How could I not have seen this coming? I thought there were always signs to a cheating boyfriend, but I sure didn’t see any. He can’t possibly be that good a liar, can he? How do I explain this to the three hundred people who are expecting to watch us get married this weekend?

“What happened?” Lily ushers me into her apartment, wearing a look of worry I haven’t seen since my mother died.

“He’s cheating.” I cry it through the sobs and throw myself face first on to her couch. “I caught him with Madison in his office.”

“You what? No way, Ems, Jack would never—”

“He did.” I jerk up off the couch and yell it at her like poison. “I saw it. I’m not just imagining things. She was on him. ON him.” I exaggerate the words so she understands how serious this is.

“But it doesn’t make sense? Jack adores you.”

“Apparently not enough to keep his hands off his receptionist.” I lie back on the couch and cover my face with a blanket draped over the back.

I’m not sure what happened; one minute I’m sobbing to Lily about Jack, and the next I hear a door shutting and Lily is walking in with a pizza, her husband Josh behind her carrying two bottles of wine.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

“Um, you stopped making sense about ten minutes into your story so I may or may not have slipped you a Xanax.” Lily attempts to smile at me through clenched teeth. “After that you cried yourself to sleep, and I have been fighting off Jack all afternoon.”

“And I heard about all the crying and thought some booze was in order,” Josh says, not wasting any time filling his plate with a pile of pizza and shoving my legs off the couch so he can sit in his usual spot in front of the TV.

“He came here?” I pull the blanket off and make my way to the wine.

“Yeah, he actually sat in the hallway for about two hours before I finally agreed I’d try and convince you to go talk to him later.”

“No way.” I pour wine into the biggest milk glass I can find, all the way to the top, with Lily side-eying me from the opposite side of the table.

“That’s a lot of wine.”

“Not yet it isn’t.”

“Can I give you some advice?” Josh talks in between pizza bites. Putting down a plate of food, no matter how serious the situation may be, has never been Josh’s strong point.

“Do you have to?” I ask, having no patience for stupid ideas right now.

“Go talk to him. This isn’t like Jack. I’m sure there’s more to the story.” He bites off the end of a piece of pizza. “I’m not saying go forgive him and take him back, but at least hear him out.”

I down half the glass of wine and set it on the table. “Fine. But he gets five minutes. Drive me?” I ask Lily who nods and grabs her purse and keys from the chair next to her. I swallow down the rest of my wine as quickly as possible. Hopefully the buzz will hit me before I have to have this chat.

Jack and I live in a high-rise building on the river downtown. We are on the fifteenth floor and our apartment was originally overlooking the river, but after we moved in they started construction on an apartment building next to ours and now our view is the living room of the elderly couple next door. Thankfully, they keep their curtains closed most of the time and when they don’t they spend a lot of time waving every single time we walk into the room.

I feel like a girl running from the law as I glance in every direction before swiping my key card after getting in the elevator to get to my floor. When the doors open, I hear it: Jack’s voice.

“Greta? What are you doing here?”

I lean out of the elevator trying to see around the corner without getting caught.

“I heard you’re newly single and thought you might need someone to talk to.” She runs her finger down the front of his t-shirt before standing on her tiptoes and giving him a kiss on the cheek. “I’m a great listener.”

He doesn’t say anything and instead motions for her to come in as he steps aside before closing the door behind her. What in the holy fuck? He’s screwing Madison and he’s got Greta on the side? The one girl on the planet whom I hate, and he’s let her into our apartment?

For a split second a scene flashes through my mind that involves an ax, some lighter fluid, and a lot of screaming – but considering there are five hundred people who live in this building I quickly shove it aside. Plus, I know I won’t look great in prison issue jumpsuits or stripes.

When I get into Lily’s car the tears stream down my face like a waterfall, uncontrollably. “Can I stay with you for a while?”

“What did he say?” she asks before answering me.

“He has Greta in there with him.” It comes out of my mouth in-between sobs in a language that even I can hardly understand.

“Greta? That bitch!” Lily growls it over to me and throws the car in drive. “You can stay with me as long as you need.”

Chapter Three

Present Day

Portland, Oregon

The Arrival

“You probably should have stopped at two glasses of wine on the plane.” Lily scolds me as we walk across the ugly green carpet that is famously known as Portland Airport.

This could possibly be one of the most stressful weeks of my life. If I choose to go into it with a little liquid courage, so kill me. I don’t really want to face Jack for the first time in two years at all. Doing so in front of a room full of people who were also invited to our wedding is making me a little crazy.

“Don’t listen to her.” Josh winks at me before grabbing Lily’s hand with a sympathetic look on his face.

“This week might be miserable enough already. I just don’t think she should start it buzzed.” Lily defends herself to Josh and the two of them argue back and forth as we pull our carry-on bags behind us, heading towards the non-ticketed area of the airport where my brother Evan is meeting us.

“There he is.” Josh nods in the direction of my brother.

Evan and I look a lot alike. We’re twins, so looking at least a little alike was kind of in the stars. We both have dark ash-brown hair, blue-gray eyes and pasty white skin.

We are adopted. We’ve known since we were old enough to understand it. Our parents waited so long in life they couldn’t conceive naturally. Back then they didn’t have the technology of today, so while they knew they were getting a baby, boy and girl twins weren’t on their radar. I can’t imagine having one baby, let alone two, and yet my mother was a picture of grace for our entire childhood.

Evan is standing in front of the schedule boards with a homemade sign that says Esmeralda the Great like I’m some sort of gypsy palm-reader coming to read him his fortune. I’m not sure why my mother chose a name straight from a circus side show act, but she did.

I’m the 2-minute younger twin sister of my brother Evan. Actually, that’s not even his full name, and my name isn’t really Emi. Our mother was older when we came along and she insisted we have unique old school names. She succeeded in naming us after Romanian gypsies, even though she wasn’t Romanian. I know nothing about our birth parents, so maybe she knew they were Romanian; who knows? My full name is Esmeralda Erin Harrison, and my brother is Evangelo Eron Harrison. The different versions of Erin are because we are twins and our mom thought we needed twinning names. We insisted on being called Emi and Evan but our parents never would cave in and use them.

“You know I hate it when you call me that,” I say as I approach him.

He wraps his arms around me and lifts me off the floor in a giant bear hug. “Exactly why I do it. It’s what brothers do.”

“Fine then, Evangelo.” I say it in the most annoying sisterly tone available, and watch his face scrunch up and his eyebrows rise.

“Whoa now, OK, I won’t call you Esmeralda anymore if you’re gonna use Evangelo.”

“Good. Let’s go grab my bags.” I point over at the baggage claim sign and watch Evan give me a disapproving look.

“You checked bags and brought this?” He pretends he can hardly lift my super-sized pink luggage off the floor.

“It’s a wedding. I had to get the dress here and it takes a lot to maintain and dress this figure up.” I point to myself in case he doesn’t know what I’m talking about.

“High maintenance, huh?” Evan directs his comment towards Josh and Lily, who both nod their heads.

“I am not high maintenance. This is just—”

What is it?

It’s a wedding that my ex will be at. That’s what it is. If I didn’t come prepared for anything even I would wonder what was wrong with me.

“Got it.” Evan nods with an unspoken understanding as if he’s just read my mind. Sometimes having a twin is a good thing. Like those times where you need them to spontaneously read your mind, or call when you're having a bad day and you don’t want to call first. We do those weird things.

He jogs over to the baggage carousel that is on the point of sending my two extra-large hot-pink luggage bags and dress bag back through the hole in the wall to wherever it goes if no one claims it. I was kind of hoping the dress bag would end up on its way to Brazil, or anywhere else for that matter. But there it is, taunting me by being draped over both my other bags, impossible to not see and accidentally leave behind.

“Is he there?” I ask Evan, following him to the parking garage, Lily and Josh lagging behind us.

“Who?” He gives a joking smile over his shoulder at me. “No, he’s not there. He doesn’t live with us, Em.”

“I know that.” Thank God. If he did I’d be heading to a hotel right now, instead of to my brother’s mini-mansion.

“I doubt you’ll see much of him anyway, besides at the wedding. He’s… uh… preoccupied.”

“With work, right?” Lily suddenly appears at my side leaving her luggage with Josh to pull to the car. “He’s a lawyer,” she narrows her eyes at Evan, “so I’m sure he’s busy on a case, or whatever.”

“Right. He’s working.” Evan is obviously following her lead on something.

“What’s going on?” I stop when Evan’s car beeps at us approaching and the back door automatically opens for our bags.

“Nothing is going on, Em.” He grabs my bags and stacks them in the back, arranging them like a Jenga game so that Josh and Lily can maybe fit theirs in as well. “Let’s head home.”

We all pile into Evan’s SUV quietly. Too quietly. Like someone-is-hiding-a-secret quietly.

“Seriously guys, what is up? What do you all know that I don’t?”

Evan backs out of our spot silently, avoiding even looking in my direction, obviously ignoring my question. I glance at the backseat, where Josh and Lily are exchanging a look I know all too well.

“What are you not telling me?”

“It’s nothing, Ems.” Lily is a horrible liar. Even though her mouth says nothing, her face is saying please forgive me.

“What did ‘nothing’ do?”

“He got engaged.” Evan blurts it out, never looking at me.

“Engage—”

“Yes,” Lily interrupts me. “I was gonna tell you, but I didn’t want to chance you refusing to get on the plane. Jack is engaged, OK?” She says the last sentence slowly, exaggerating the pronunciation of each of the words as if she’s talking to someone just learning the English language.

The words hang in the air like a storm cloud. I hear them, but I can’t wrap my head around it.

How can he be engaged? Engaged implies that he’s happily moved on, and I don’t want that. I want him to be miserable and broken like I am. I want him to look terrible, to have gained fifty pounds, to be balding and to eat dinner every night alone. That would make me happy: his misery. He deserves at least that.

“I’m fine with it,” I lie, and stare out of the window. “It’s not like I haven’t moved on too.” Another lie. Why am I lying to the people who know me the best?

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I mean, come on, I refused to talk to him for three months even though he begged daily, and then I moved over two thousand miles away when you guys got transferred. So yes, obviously, I’ve moved on.”

Behind me, Lily clears her throat. “Moving on physically isn’t the same as letting go, Ems. We’ve talked about this.”

“It’s true, though. In this case, it means exactly that. I am over Jack. I’m just a little surprised to hear that he’s engaged, that’s all.”

“Good, because this week is not about Jack and Emi for once. It’s about Hannah.”

“And you.” I say to Evan.

“Yes, exactly. So, we’re going to have fun, and things will go smoothly.”

When we pull up to Evan’s house I’m reminded immediately of our parents. He has our dad’s old vintage 1952 Corvette in the driveway. He’s completely redone it and it looks like it just came off the showroom floor of the car dealership. Dad bought the car when Evan was 18 so they could rebuild it together. It turned out gorgeous, and the last time I saw Dad he was driving it to the country club for his weekly game of tennis. That was his last game. He died of a major heart attack right there on the court. For a second my heart hurts as I stare at the car from my seat.

“Kind of sad they can’t be here for the wedding, isn’t it?”

When he says it I realize we are the only two still in the car.

“Yeah. It is. Do you think they knew they’d never see either of us get married when they brought us home?”

Our parents not being here nearly breaks my own heart. How sad to spend your whole life raising these kids and then never getting to celebrate the big moments with them, like weddings and babies.

“Nah, they never felt their age as it was, so I doubt it even crossed their minds. I’m sure they’re around us somewhere. Dad’s probably super-impressed with my more responsible venture into adulthood, and Mom’s probably still wondering when her sweet dizzy Emi will finally grow up.” He laughs until I make a swing for his arm, then jumps out of the car before I can make contact.

“Not even funny,” I say loudly as I get out, heading to the back to grab my bags.

“EMI!” Hannah comes squealing out of the house and engulfs me in a huge hug. Which is a little more than awkward, considering she’s a good nine inches taller than me.

I can’t say that Hannah and I are the best of friends in life, but I think we are just about as close as we’ll ever be. There may always be some lingering jealousy on Hannah’s side that Lily is my best friend and not her. But what can I do about that? Her marrying my brother won’t change the fact that I’ve known Lily since I was six years old. There is also the fact that I’ve always had that feeling that Hannah can change her opinion of someone in a split second over goodness knows what or why.

“Hi, Hannah!” I hug her back, and pretend my cheek isn’t smashed up against her perfect plastic boobs.

“I’m so glad you’re here!” She sets me free and hugs Lily and Josh. “Come in, come in! I’ll show you to your rooms. I’m so excited to show you everything for the wedding in person!”

Evan gives a raised-eyebrow smirk. He’s finally escaped the world of weddings that Hannah has become. She’s now got a new audience in Lily and me. The upcoming wedding is all she talks about. My wedding this and my wedding that is the topic of every phone call we’ve had for the last year. I honestly don’t know what she’ll talk about when this is over, but I imagine her post-wedding depression will be best for me when I’m two thousand miles away and can ignore the call.

“I have seriously shopped myself out this week getting your rooms ready, but since I knew you’d all be here a full week I wanted to make sure you had everything you’d have back home.” I find it hard to believe she is ever seriously done with shopping as I gawk at her fancy house while we follow her up the grandest staircase since Gone with the Wind and into a bedroom more luxurious than I’ve always imagined a room at The Plaza.

“Josh and Lily, this is your room. There are robes for each of you in the bathroom, toiletries that I know you all use and a snack basket on the dresser. If I left anything out just let me know and I’ll send Evan to grab it.”

“Wow, Hannah, you’ve really done too much. The room is beautiful.” Lily beams over at her. “And I thought this wedding wouldn’t be a vacation.”

“Exactly why I did this! I know you two work so hard and I wanted this to be like a vacation.”

Hannah and Lily always get along in a ‘we have to for Emi’s sake’ kind of way. Not that they don’t like each other; they do, mostly. But right now, it’s a little over the top. I’d guess by tomorrow night they’ll be slyly at each other’s throats like a scene from The Real Housewives.

“Now to Emi’s room.”

I follow Hannah out, grabbing my bags I left in the hallway, and into the next room on the right. “Same for you, but I also left a bridesmaid survival kit in here. Everything you might need for your bridesmaid duties or emergencies are in there. It’s so exciting, in a few days we’ll be sisters!” She’s talking much quieter in here, like she’s keeping what we’re saying away from Lily’s ears.

When Hannah first asked me to be a bridesmaid I was afraid to tell Lily. Not because she’d be mad, but because Hannah didn’t ask her to be one too. She had some other friends she’s closer to and thought it would be weird to ask my best friend, who doesn’t always love her, to be in the bridal party. But of course, she invited Lily and Josh as guests and moral support for me.

“Thank you, Hannah. You truly have thought of everything.”

“Grab your dress bag; we’ll put that in here with the rest of the wedding stuff.” She motions to the room across the hall from us. When she opens the door my jaw drops. The room is piled high full of boxes, gift bags, linens, decorations, and dress bags.

“Whoa. This is like a bridal shop. Why is it all here? I thought you hired a wedding planner?”

“I did, but I needed a place to store everything and we have plenty of room. Isn’t it amazing?” She glances around before hanging my dress on the dress rack full of gown bags.

“How many bridesmaids are there?” I count the bags quickly, worried that this wedding might end up like the last scene of 27 Dresses.

“There are six bridesmaids, two flower girls, and two ring bearers.”

“Why the twelve dress bags then?” I can’t help but wonder.

“Did I not tell you?” She pulls a bag out and hangs it on a hook at the end of the rack. “I designed two wedding dresses; a ceremony dress and a reception dress.”

“Two? Wow. That’s uh—” What do you say to the girl who probably spent twenty thousand dollars on material for these dresses? You want to say that you hope they never run into financial hard times and drop down to middle income. But you don’t dare say anything.

“It’s amazing. Here look, this one is my ceremony dress.” Hannah slowly unzips the first bag which is probably the biggest dress bag I’ve ever seen. Inside is a dress with so much tulle and sparkles it’s hard to see anything else. “I know you can’t tell in the bag but it’s so beautiful. The bodice stops at my waist and it has a full-out ball-gown skirt but it’s in layers draped offset in a hankerchief cut. Look at this lace!” She pulls out a layer of the skirt with an intricate lace detail along the hem. “I designed this lace.” I can tell she’s proud of it too, as she should be; it’s gorgeous. “There is also a layer of tulle in the middle of the skirt that is hot pink so there is a hint of pink showing through in the full skirt. The beading on the bodice took me two months to complete. Can you imagine? I thought my fingers were going to fall off.” She laughs as she gently touches the intricate beading sparkling in the light.

Hannah truly has always reminded me of Barbie, with her perfect blonde hair, her always-perfect makeup, and her obsession with all things pink, ever since the day I met her.

“It sparkles, that’s for sure. I’m sure you’ll look beautiful in it.” I’m picturing this pink tinted ball gown resembling the Barbie birthday cake I had when I turned eight years old.

She puts the ball gown back onto the crowded dress rack and pulls out a smaller bag next to it. “This one is where I got the inspiration for you girls’ bridesmaids’ dresses.” The feathers spill out before I can notice anything else: pastel pink, gray and white feathers from just above her knees all the way to the bottom. If there was a giant feathered headpiece with it I’d think she was performing on Broadway or with the Rockettes. “Isn’t it gorgeous?”

“It’s feathery. Is this one for the reception?” Boy is it ever feathery, like a Las Vegas showgirl. I can’t even picture what a row of bridesmaids will look like, all of us being feathered from the knees down. I would think she would want something unique, not more feathers for her reception. But then again, Hannah has always been full of unexpected decisions.

“Yes. It reminds me of a vintage party dress, so it’s just so fitting, don’t you think?”

“I do.” I hate it, but I do think it’s fitting. Now I know what we’ll look like: insane. We will be one of those bridal parties that are pictured on-line, in a What Not To Do To Your Bridesmaids article that lives on the internet for years to come.

Lily walks in holding a glass of wine and stops dead in her tracks two feet inside the door.

“Holy shit, what is this? You opened a bridal store in your house?” There is the Lily I know and love.

“No!” Hannah yells at her and points towards the hallway. “No wine in here, it would just ruin everything if it spilled.”

I watch Lily slowly back out of the room, eyes big and eyebrows raised. That was quick, her completely offending Hannah only an hour into our trip. I thought it would take her at least till later tonight. “I’m sure you’re losing your buzz, Ems.” She rolls her eyes at me “You should come have a glass.” She nods towards the stairs trying to convince me to come downstairs with her for a glass of wine. Like it would take much to persuade me.

“Sure.” I look over at Hannah who is nodding her head at me.

I follow the two of them down the grand staircase and into their open-plan living room and kitchen. One full wall is gray stone with a huge fireplace in the center. All the furniture is stark white, the walls are white, the curtains are white, the decorations are variations of white. The room merges into a wall of the kitchen with an island almost the full length of the room. Again everything is white, except the stainless-steel appliances.

“My God, how do you keep this clean?” I ask them, glad it’s not mine.

“I have no idea. I have a lady who does it daily.” Hannah pours herself a glass of pink champagne before hopping up onto one of the metal barstools that sit just below her white sparkly quartz island counter.

“What is your life?” I ask my brother who is sitting on the counter holding a beer. “My whole apartment could fit in this room alone.”

“I don’t know why. It’s not like you don’t have money.”

He’s right. When our parents died, they left us enough money that neither of us would’ve had to work for a good ten years even after paying off our student loans and college debt. I do have money, but after looking at this house I don’t know if he will much longer. He and Hannah appear to have very rich tastes. They bought the house right after the last time I saw them both. I’ve seen pictures and I knew it was fancy, but I never ever expected this fancy.

It’s at moments like these, when I’m with my coupled-up happy friends, that I find my mind wandering to what Jack and I might have been like if we’d made it all the way down the aisle. What would the wedding have actually been like? Would we be happy? Would I have ever caught him doing his assistant, or would I have lived forever in blissful ignorance?

Chapter Four

Two and a Half Years Ago

Downtown Portland, Oregon

The Wedding Planning

“How many people are on your guest list?”

Megan, the girl I’ve hired as our wedding planner, is sitting with a huge schedule book in front of her covered in a rainbow of sticky notes. Every time I give her a number or idea she writes it in three places: the pastel pink notepad at her right side, the notes section of the day planner, and then she quickly taps it into her opened laptop.

“Just over three hundred invitations need to be sent out. I doubt that many will come, but my fiancé is from… uh… money…”

“Socialites?”

“Yes. Rich socialites that know everyone in town. That’s a good definition.”

“No problem. Did you have a theme or colors picked?”

“A theme?”

“Yeah, a lot of couples pick a theme for the wedding and that’s where we get our colors, decoration ideas, and venue from. It really sets a tone for the wedding.”

“Well, I don’t know. I’m gonna be honest with you…” I pause – not to intentionally be dramatic, but because anytime I tell someone this I get a gasp, moan or hanging jaw. “I was never the girl who was planning out her wedding or her Prince Charming. I never really cared about any of this. But because I’m marrying into this particular family, I’m expected to throw this seriously over-the-top wedding, and I have no idea what I need or want.”

Megan’s mouth drops open and her eyebrows pinch together like she’s confused, or maybe constipated. “You never dressed up and played bride, or bought bridal magazines?”

“Nope.”

“How weird! But don’t worry, I did, and I know everything about weddings. I’ll make sure yours is fabulous.” She smiles over at me before jotting down a note in each of her three devices.

“Just to throw a couple ideas out there… We could do an elegant, traditional red carpet style party, or we could wait until winter and do a winter wonderland type wedding, or we could do something vintagey, Great Gatsby style.” She stares up at me, pen ready to jot down anything I say.

“The vintage one sounds good. As long as it’s not like a Hallowe’en party.”

“No, we’re just stealing the idea of it, not the actual theme of it. It’ll be gorgeous. Trust me.”

“I do. I should warn you, though, my future mother-in-law is Amelia Cabot.”

“Oh. Wow.” Megan takes a deep breath.

“Yeah, but she tends to like to do things her way. When I’m done here she’s going to drill me on what went on and insist that I give her your number so she can get you her ideas. Just so you know, you don’t have to do anything she says unless you think it’s a good idea. But like I said, I’m pretty clueless.”

“So, you want her to help with the planning?”

“If she comes up with something fitting then I don’t mind. But put your sassy pants on and be able to tell her no, because she is a bit… demanding.”

She lets out a small groaning sigh. “I know all about her. I’ve heard horror stories from other event planners. I’ll stand my ground, though. You have nothing to worry about.”

But the suddenly discouraged look on her face tells me she could be nervous about meeting the great Amelia Cabot. I don’t blame her. I once witnessed Amelia fire a waitress at an event she threw because she dropped and broke an entire box filled with unopened expensive bottles of wine in the middle of the party, after tripping over someone’s dog that was running loose. Who lets a tiny dog run loose at a swanky party? Rich people who don’t have kids, that’s who.

“So, I will get started on a proposal tonight and we can meet up on…” She flips through her book quickly and scans her computer screen. “Can you meet me Saturday? At my office? I’ll have samples and outlines for you to go over with me, and we’ll make a lot of the bigger decisions right then.”

“Absolutely, it’s a date.” I grab my purse and coffee from the table ready to be done with wedding planning for the day.

“Oh, and Emi…” She touches my hand as I start to leave the table. “Keep your whole day free because we’ll go look at venues that day too.”

“OK. Can I bring Jack with me?”

“For sure. Actually, if he wants a say you’d better bring him to everything.”

“Everything, OK. Thank you so much, Megan.”

I don’t know if Jack will go to every planner appointment with me, but if I should have to suffer all this just to get married, he should have to as well. It’s not fair that men don’t have to do anything for the wedding but show up, yet women are expected to be frazzled, irritated and short on time for months on end for something that’s over in a single day.

“I need to come to everything?” Jack asks later that night as we fall into our nightly routine of dinner on the couch while watching Drunk History on Hulu.

“Well… maybe not everything, but some stuff, yeah. I can’t do it by myself.”

“What about Lily? I’m sure she’d be a better opinion on this kind of stuff than me.”

“You don’t care about the details of the wedding?” I tease him but I know that it’s true. Men don’t care. And if they say they do, they’re either lying or gay.

“Not all the details, no. As long as we don’t get married in a graveyard or someplace totally weird, I don’t really care where it is.”

“What I’m hearing is that I could come back here Saturday evening and say I chose Thornbury Castle in England, and you wouldn’t wonder what it cost?” Not that this would ever happen. The only reason I know the name of this particular wedding venue is because I’ve been watching far too many wedding reality shows whilst trying to get into the groove of planning a wedding. The Cinderella wedding may be most girls’ dream, but it isn’t mine.

“You’re not, are you?” He pauses with his fork midway to his mouth realizing that I could really throw a million-dollar wedding with completely free reins.

“No. But I could if you aren’t interested. I just need a bit of help. I’m not good at this stuff.”

“I know. Look… Pick anywhere in the city. I think a city wedding would be fun. Since neither of us are country-dwellers I think that would portray the two of us. I’ll come check it out with you this weekend. And otherwise, let’s just try to keep it under a hundred thousand. Deal?”

A hundred-thousand-dollar wedding almost makes me hyperventilate to even just think about. Who spends that much on a wedding? I was thinking even twenty-five thousand seemed too much for a one-day event.

“I gave your mom's number to the wedding planner.” I take a swig of my wine without looking at his reaction to the news I’ve just tossed over at him. I know his mom planning our wedding is not something he would have expected.

“What?”

“Jack, you know she’d just find a way to her eventually anyway. I was thinking about it on the way home and she’s so much better at this stuff than me, so why not just let her do it?”

“You’re just going to hand over the wedding planning to my mother?” His brows are raised and his voice tight.

“Well, no. I mean… maybe.” I shrug my shoulders. I didn’t really think it through all the way, but I know I’ve been to Amelia’s parties and they are the parties everyone dies to get an invite to. “I just thought she’d have such better ideas than me.”

“You’re a brave girl, Ems. My mother is going to turn this into a reality TV show.” He shakes his head as a disbelieving laugh hesitates just under his breath.

“But it’ll be the kind on the E! channel, and that’s not terrible all the time.” I laugh, knowing how much he hates watching the Kardashians with me for the few moments he allows it before taking control of the remote and changing it to something a little less mind-numbing.

He leans over and kisses my lips quickly before going back to his dinner. “I hope you’re ready.”

How bad could it be? Amelia is one of the most elite women in the city, and if she throws a party, not one invite is turned down. She’ll make this wedding beautiful, elegant, and probably way over the top. And I won’t have to do a thing. In fact, to tell the truth, I doubt she’ll let me have much say at all.

“Oh, great! You brought Jack and Amelia.” Megan immediately looks more nervous now than she did the day of our interview. “It’s so great to meet you both.” She shakes their hands as if she’s just met Portland royalty. Hardly. I don’t think rich qualifies you as important. Or does it?

“Yes…” Amelia and I speak at the same time.

“We are excited to see what kind of ideas you have for us.” Amelia sits in one of the two chairs facing Megan’s office desk.

“I have so many ideas. Let’s get started.”

I glance at the one chair left and back at Jack who looks as uncomfortable as I am.

“Sit,” he says to me before leaning on Megan’s desk beside me.

“OK.” Megan sounds enthusiastic before pointing towards the board with a gazillion fabrics, photos, and ideas. “Here is my idea, and feel free to stop me with any questions as we go.”

For almost thirty minutes Megan continues to talk about venues, colors, food, flowers, souvenirs, photographers, and music. Who knew you needed so many things to have a wedding? I am kind of thinking eloping might be the way to go. All these options may too easily find a way to become disastrous.

“What do you think? Is there anything you hate or love?”

“I’ll start.” Amelia stands from her chair and faces the idea board head-on. Jack and I exchange nervous smiles and prepare ourselves to watch what’s about to unfold before us. This is it, this moment will define the wedding.

“I love the Vintage Gatsby theme, but let’s not do it so costume party-ish. Dress the part, yes, but with a modern take, black tie. The flowers should be white, no other colors will work, all white. Linens, white and black. Main wedding colors, black and white, maybe with a bit of gold thrown in. I want full-out decor, from ceiling to floor it should all match our theme. If we’re going with a vintage theme I want the music to match, hire a big band, Sinatra-style. I have a caterer I’ll give a call to today, we can do a menu of choices for dinner and dessert and cocktail hour will not take place in the same room as the reception. No hard liquor, let’s do a Champagne bar with a signature drink of each the bride and groom’s choices.” She glances over at Jack and me. “What do you think?”

I feel myself nodding yes, unable to process all that she’s just said. She throws these kinds of parties all the time, so I imagine (even though I can’t picture it) it will be without a doubt the wedding of the year.

When I glance over at Jack he shrugs his shoulders at me and nods yes with a small questionable smile. “Sure, it sounds great.”

Amelia glances down at me again. “And for you?”

“Yes, Amelia it’s all wonderful. I say yes.”

“Perfect.” She turns to Megan and the two of them start jotting things on the board, Megan typing frantically into her phone as well. “Leave it to me, kids, and we’ll have this planned in no time.”

“Maybe we should sneak out?” Jack whispers into my ear, his breath on my neck giving me chills. Even though we’ve been together just over four years he still takes my breath away. “They don’t really need us,” he adds, before backing towards the door.

Really? I mouth over at him, standing slowly from my chair. He nods and turns the door knob slowly, letting the door open without even as much as a click.

I know it’s wrong to sneak out of my own wedding planning meeting, but I really can’t help at this point and Amelia clearly has it under control. They haven’t looked at us or even run by an idea in a couple of minutes, so I’m thinking my work here is done. I tiptoe over to the open door where Jack is now standing just outside.

“Emi?” Amelia suddenly calls my name.

I quickly turn towards her and see Jack disappear against the hallway wall out of my side-eye view.

“No need to look at venues today, I’ve already booked the Hilton Exec Tower for July the fifth.” She smiles with a nod.

“Oh, you chose the date too?” I look over at Jack standing just out of sight of his mother. He gives me a told you so look.

“Of course,” Amelia waves a hand at me. “You kids go do whatever it is you need to do and I’ll take care of this.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel like you’re doing everything.”

“It’s not a bother! My only son is getting married, I’m just thankful to be a part of it.”

I bet she wouldn’t be if I didn’t let her plan the entire thing.

“OK then,” I say, then I glance at Megan. She is staring at Amelia, who has taken over the planning board and has a wide-eyed deer-in-the-headlights look on her face. Obviously this is not what she originally signed up for, but if she can succeed in planning a wedding for the great Amelia Cabot then she might earn herself the business of Portland’s richest of rich.

I walk out of the doorway to have Jack quickly grab my hand and lead me to the street outside. “I told you she’d take over.”

“What day is July the fifth anyway?” I pull out my phone and scroll six months into the future. “Well, at least it’s a Saturday.”

“The wedding is well cared for.” He laughs.

“I really don’t need to do anything, do I?”

“Maybe pick your own dress, I hope, and show up for appointments?”

“Did I do the wrong thing?” I bite my lip and stop walking, pulling Jack to a stop with me. “Is it going to end up being not us, and more…” I sigh. “Your mother?”

“No. She knows us. She thinks of you as a daughter, she’d never intentionally do anything you wouldn’t like. You know that. Now come on… Let’s go grab a coffee, we’ve got a whole Saturday to ourselves.”

“OK.” Coffee could lead me anywhere. The truth of the matter is, Jack could lead me anywhere. As a kid I never pictured myself getting married, so seeing myself marrying Jack at a mystery wedding that my future mother-in-law is planning is kind of like the dream I never had. Even though I’ve seen the plans with her, I honestly don’t know what to expect. Will I hate it? Will there even be anyone there I know?

“It’s gonna be great, Ems. Just like you.” He kisses my lips, waking me up from the dream of the nightmare this could become.

“Right. It’ll be great.” I repeat it, just in case my inner self didn’t believe it when he said it.

I sure hope he’s right.

Chapter Five

Present Day

Northwest Portland, Oregon

The Discovery

“I invited some friends over for a barbecue tonight. Just a casual thing to relax before the wedding.” Evan has at least ten different cuts of meat in different marinade bowls lined up across the counter. Platters, tongs, and bottles of sauce surround him.

“All of this is just for a casual thing?”

“No.” He opens the fridge to platters of prepared food, beer and what appear to be very fancy appetizers. “All of this,” he motions to the counter in front of him, then nods into the fridge, “is for a casual thing.”

“How many friends did you invite?”

“Mostly just the wedding party.”

“The entire wedding party?”

“Yes, well, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, and their families.” Evan stops brushing sauce on a plate of burgers and turns towards me, sauced-up brush still in hand. “You will be nice, and you will stop obsessing over Jack. Now is your chance to prove that you’ve moved on.” He wags the brush at me.

“Right.” I nod at him and dodge out of the living room and up to Lily’s room where she is sprawled across her bed watching a news program.

“Hey,” she says, never looking away from the TV.

“Jack is coming here? Did you know this?”

“Uh, not until about an hour ago. Why do you care, again?” She wrinkles up her face and clicks the remote to turn the TV off.

“I don’t, I just wish someone had told me so I could have found something else to do.”

“Jack is your brother’s best friend, which means Jack is in the wedding party. You too are part of the wedding party. This is a wedding party party. Where else would you go? And how did you assume you wouldn’t see much of Jack while you were here?” Her condescending tone reminds me that I’ve forgotten my I’m over Jack story.

“Right, I ju—” The doorbell interrupts me and I can feel my face doing things I’d rather it didn’t. “Shit.” I can’t help it. I don’t know what I am exactly, but completely over him isn’t it.

“Relax, psycho. Just be yourself and you’ll be fine.”

Just be me. Such great advice. If I did that, then Jack would know the exact fantasies I’ve had about him over the last two years. Not the sexual fantasies I’m sure he’d expect either. These ones involve revenge.

I speed-walk into my room and glance in the full-length mirror by the window. I roll up my jeans mid-calf, slide on my favorite black flip-flops, toss on a sleeveless top that doesn’t look like it’s just spent the last twenty-four hours crushed in a suitcase, and pull my hair out of the ponytail. A few fingers through my curls, a dab of lip gloss on my lips, and voilà! I don’t look like I’ve just spent the last few days a nervous, frazzled mess.

“Emi! Come down and meet everyone,” Hannah yells up the stairs.

I do a last-minute mirror check again and then casually head down the stairs to an empty foyer. I hear their voices on the back patio and peer around the staircase in that direction. I thought Evan said he invited just the wedding party and their families? There are a good forty people mingling out there. Hannah has tables set up with decorations and flowers and everything is very put together. How did I miss this earlier? It couldn’t have been a ten-minute setup job by the looks of it.

“There you are!” Lily comes up behind me carrying a tray of bacon-wrapped food. “Come on.”

I follow Lily out, almost hiding behind her as she sets the tray on a giant table full of food. “Oh my God, is he here?”

“Yes. Now stop acting like a weirdo.”

“Lil… Everyone is a pair.” I glance around not seeing a single person here alone. “Some of these people even have kids!”

Lily jerks me by the arm behind a curtain separating the patio from the hot tub area. “Stop it,” she hisses at me, her face only two inches from my own. “You will stop acting like a pathetic, heartbroken teenager and you will get your ass out there and act like the amazing Emi we all know and love. Jack does not control you.”

If ever there was a moment that felt like my mom was still here, this was it. I nod my head in shame and follow her on to the patio. It only takes two seconds to spot the keg and fill a cup with whatever is in it. Now is not the time to worry about not liking beer. I down the glass in thirty seconds, pretending it’s not as bad as it truly is, and fill it again.

“Emi, come meet everyone.” Hannah pulls me from the bar area, saving me from looking like a raging alcoholic, chugging beer alone. “You need to meet May, Jack’s fiancée. I know it’s weird, but you’ll have to meet her sometime. It might as well be now. I really think you’ll like her. She’s great. She’s active in charity work and really has helped me with the endless wedding planning, plus she’s been so good for Jack since...” As the words come out of her mouth she notices my face and frowns.

“Hannah, I don’t think—”

“I’m sorry, you’re right, that was tactless”

“I’m sure she’s just fabulous,” I try not to roll my eyes, “but it is a little awkward, even if she was the queen of the universe, right?” I ask her, hoping I’m not just making all this crap up in my own little dramatic world in my head.

“You’re totally right. I’ll try and be more considerate of your feelings.”

“OK.” I nod at her watching what she just said dissipate into the air like she’d never said it all, which seems to be classic Hannah.

“Guys!” She pulls me into a group of people, some I know, some I don’t. “This is Evan’s twin sister Emi!” Hannah puts her arm around me and hugs me from the side. “I can’t wait until we’re officially sisters!”

“Right, yeah. Hi there, nice to meet you all.” I glance around at all the faces who nod excitedly back at me. I only recognize a few of them. I hope they don’t expect me to remember their names. Right now my head feels like it’s stuffed with cotton wool and I can hardly even remember my own name.

“Now, where is my other sister-in-law to be?” There goes her being more considerate to my feelings.

“They ran to their car.” Evan appears wearing an apron with a woman’s body in a bikini on the front, and he’s holding a pair of tongs. “They’ll be right back.”

I turn from Hannah and head back to the cover of their outdoor bar, kitchen area, downing my drink on my way. “What are you doing, Sis?”

“Nothing… I uh—” I quickly finish topping off drink number three and turn to my brother who is poking at the meat on the grill in front of him. “I just needed a bit of liquid encouragement. Ya know?”

“I do know, and I just hope you’ll stop after this one. Jack’s not the guy he once was. The sooner you see that the better.”

“Not the guy he once was? OK, I guess that’s good. What do you mean, though? Like, he’s better than he was? Worse? Is he worse than he was?” Please let him be worse.

Evan turns towards me and rolls his eyes. “OK he’s the same he was but he’s different, more laid back and quiet. I think it’s because of May, his fiancée.”

“Do I know this May?” I’ve been racking my brain since Hannah said her name and I can’t think of anyone named May. I wonder who this mystery girl is and how she is so much better for Jack than I ever was?

“I don’t know… I don’t think so. Just relax.”

Right. I’ll just relax, why didn’t I think of that before? I force myself to take a deep breath. He’s right, even though I hate admitting that. What am I so worried about? It’s not like I was the one that ruined our relationship. If anyone should be worried about tonight I would think it would be Jack. What if I announce exactly why we broke up? That would totally humiliate him in front of his fabulous, I’ll-just-love-her fiancée. Sounds like a fun time to me.

“I’ll be fi—”

When I turn to leave the kitchen, I run right into none other than Jack. If I hadn’t been daydreaming about getting revenge on him I might have noticed him. My freshly-filled beer sloshes down the front of both of us, leaving each of us looking like we just wet our pants.

“Holy shit.” I announce it loud enough to see some heads turn our direction.

“Emi.” Jack holds me out at arm’s length, probably hoping I don’t punch him in the groin. “That was quite a hello.”

I momentarily stare up at him and immediately wish I hadn’t. He’s not worse than he was. He hasn’t gone bald or gained weight. He’s still as gorgeous as he ever was. His dark hair and eyes, his comforting smile, and his cologne, all sink straight into my feelings. Damn it.

Evan hands us each a towel from a cupboard near the grill. I pat myself dry, trying to avoid any more eye contact with Jack at all. While he and Evan laugh at my lack of grace, I slip past him and through the doors of the house.

“Oh my God,” I mumble to myself and try disappearing into the kitchen, hoping that’s where Lily vanished to.

“What happened to you?” She looks at my sodden clothing and laughs.

“I spilled my beer.”

“How?”

“By running into Jack.” I glare at her, whilst trying to squeeze beer out of my top into the sink.

“Oh no, did you get him too?”

“Yup…” I sigh as I lean against the counter. “I can’t do this right now. I wasn’t ready to see him tonight.”

“You never would have been ready. So, go change and get ready.” Lily glares at me with her motherly charm. “Now.”

It takes me only ten minutes to change, and the only reason I come back down to the party is because I’m starving and I smell food. When I walk out everyone is in a line at the outdoor bar counter, filling their plates.

“There she is! Finally,” Evan smiles over at me. “Come grab a plate, Em.”

When I walk towards the bar everyone stares over at me and one face grabs my attention.

“Greta?”

She nods at me. “Emi. Long time no see.” Her perfectly-made-up face glares at me.

“Why are you here? You’re not in the bridal party, are you?” I glance at Hannah, who looks between Greta and me as if I’ve just asked her if I could take her spaceship for a drive.

“How do you two know each other?” Hannah asks us both.

“I… uh—”

“Oh, we go way back, don’t we Emi?” That’s when I watch her link her arm through Jack’s and give me the biggest fake smile I’ve ever seen. “Looks like we’re gonna share a sister.” She smiles sincerely over at Hannah.

“You are—” I swallow hard trying not to choke on my own saliva. “You and Jack?” This can’t be happening. “You’re Jack’s—”

She holds out her left hand, showing off the 3-carat diamond ring that once sat on my own finger. Why would he reuse the same ring? “That’s right, in just eight months I’ll be Mrs Jack Cabot.”

“But you said Jack’s fiancée was a girl named May?” I look at both Hannah and Lily, whose faces are even more shocked than my own. Both of them have every right to be just as confused as I am. There aren’t a lot of Gretas in the world; if they’d known her real name I’m sure they’d be rather less on board with this recent engagement. Obviously, Jack is a bigger liar than I thought. How did he keep her real name from surfacing? The biggest question I have now, though, is how the fuck did she weasel her way into my spot?

“I go by May now because Greta is just so… yuk, old-fashioned.”

“Why May?” I ask, wondering if she did this on purpose to slide into the spot of Jack’s fiancée with no questions from my friends and family. But no matter how she got there, Jack should have known better.

“From my last name, Mayfair…” She talks down to me, like she’s explaining a math problem to a first-grader.

“Oh my God…” I set my plate back on the bar. “I have to go.”

“What?” Evan asks, heading in my direction.

“Emi, don’t...” Jack starts towards me too, his voice hesitant.

“No. I’m fine. I just need some air.”

“She’s always been so over-dramatic.” Greta rolls her eyes and goes back to filling up her plate while everyone else watches me try to escape the situation.

“I think—” I need to stop trying to figure out what exactly it is that I think because I obviously don’t know. “I just need to go for a walk or something.”

“Do you want me to come?” Lily asks still looking as shocked as I am.

“Nope. No, I’ll be fine. It was nice to meet you all.” I glance around at everyone except Jack and Greta and beeline it to the front door.

I’m just going to walk. Walking can clear your head. I’m sure I’ve heard that somewhere. Not that I have any idea where I’m walking to, but I’m sure I’ll come across something. It’s not like I can clear this entire situation out of my own head quickly. With my luck I’ll walk long enough to get all the way back to Texas before I figure out exactly what it is that I truly think about all this.

I wish this beer would settle in a little quicker than it is. Maybe what I need is just another drink? Sounds like a perfectly bad idea to me. On our way here I know I saw a tiny hole-in-the-wall bar; maybe I’ll go there. It’s not exactly as far as Texas but it’ll have to do as a last-minute hideout for now. I doubt anyone is going to come looking for me after the weirdness that just happened. In fact, I don’t really want them to come looking for me at all.

The bar is just far enough away for the beer to blur my vision right about the time I push opened the giant, heavy front door with a porthole window in it.

The room is semi-dark with small lights hanging over each table. TVs on the wall play CNN News, and the patrons are few and far between. Mostly older men, a few with a friend, a man behind the bar and another one sitting at the counter.

“Can I get a shot of vodka?” I try and catch my breath from the quarter-mile walk that my poor size 12 body isn’t used to. Vodka is the last thing I need right now. I really don’t need to add a puking-in-public element to this future family story. Maybe food and water would be a much wiser order than just vodka. “Do you guys have a menu?”

“A menu?” the bartender asks me with a tilt of his head.

“Like, for food?”

“Nope. There’s a vending machine in the back.”

It’s not exactly the burgers and gourmet appetizers Evan had made, but it’ll have to do. Most of the time vending machines have all my favorite foods anyway. Salty and sweet. Perfect for my pending hangover.

“Can I get a water too?” Vodka isn’t exactly thirst-quenching, and considering I feel like I’ve just run a 5k marathon I probably should help myself to not have a stroke in a strange place.

The bartender nods his head, unenthusiastically, sitting both drinks on the bar in front of me. “Eight bucks.”

Oh no. I reach into all my pockets, hoping I accidentally shoved some cash into them the last time I wore them. No such luck.

“I… uh…” I stumble over my words. “I’m so sorry, I just had the worst afternoon of my life and I stormed out of my brother’s house without my purse, or cash, or anything. Is it possible to bring it by later?”

Bartender stares at me, no emotion on his face. His head is bald, he has a tattoo showing out of the neck of his shirt, and he’s more than a bit intimidating in this environment. “You have no money?”

“No.” I try and say it apologetically. “I mean… I do, just not on me. Like I said I’m here staying with my brother, who’s getting married this weekend and he decided to have a party for the entire wedding party tonight without even so much as warning me and he invited my ex who brought his new fiancée, who is a girl I know… knew… and, well…I just needed to get away quickly to clear my head and think straight before I go—”

“I got it,” the man sitting a couple of stools from me says to the bartender, who nods before walking away from me without further questioning

“You don’t have to do that. I’m good for it, I swear.”

“It’s no problem,” he says, looking at me with a side-eye.

“Are you sure? Because I promise I can bring it in to you later.”

He laughs before turning directly to me.

When I catch the full view of him my jaw drops opened in surprise. I just assumed from the atmosphere of this place that all the men in here were old alcoholics who use this place as a second home away from nagging wives and irritating children. But this guy is not old. His sandy blond hair is a bit unruly, and the five o’clock shadow across his jaw looks almost intentional.

“Don’t worry about it. We all have bad days, and yours sounds…” He stops speaking and looks me over. “Sounds brutal.” His southern accent could make any normal woman’s heart swoon, but all it does for me is remind me of home and how I wish I was there right now.

“It was brutal, that’s a good word for it. Thank you.” I smile at him before turning to the drinks in front of me, downing the vodka and taking a sip of water while trying to keep my face from showing just how bad the shot was, since cute barfly next to me is watching. “You have an accent, where are you from?”

“Does clearing your head always consist of this much talking?” he asks.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll let you get back to your… uh…” I glance around him looking for whatever I’m interrupting, but all he has sitting on the bar in front of him is a bottle of water, in a bar, during happy hour. “Water-drinking.”

“That’s not what I meant.” He laughs to himself with a shake of his head. When he stands from the barstool he was sitting on, I can clearly see that he really should be an underwear model on the side of a giant billboard. Which immediately makes my heart jump into my throat.

He sits on the stool at my side.

“I’m Liam Jaxson. I own the bar. And I didn’t mean that to sound as rude as it did. I apologize.”

I reach out and shake his outstretched hand. His touch makes my skin feels like it’s on fire and I pull it away quickly, not wanting my face to relay what this stranger is doing to me internally. I’m not normally the sort of girl who’s attracted to strange men she’s only just met. I definitely shouldn’t drink this much this quickly on an empty stomach again.

“It’s alright. I’m Emi.”

“Nice to meet ya, Emi. Can I get you another drink?”

“Oh no. I’ve had more than enough, this wasn’t my first of the night. If I don’t slow down, you’ll be carrying me home.” I hear it as it comes out of my mouth and realize how it could be taken. “I mean – not carry me home… but you know, take me—” I take a sudden horrified breath “Oh my God… I didn’t mean you’d take me as in take me…” Sweet Jesus, Emi, shut up.

His laugh is intoxicating. “No worries. I got it.”

“Good.” I sigh and take a sip of my water and glance around the bar in front of me. I’m not sure if the situation I’m in now is any better than the situation back at Evan’s. The silence between Liam and me is awkward as I slowly sip my water and inspect the room. Mirrors line the wall in front of me, and all kinds of liquor bottles and glasses sit on the floor-to-ceiling shelves. Southwestern décor is sporadically placed around the room, making me feel a tiny bit like I’m back in Texas.

“So, besides this ex and his new fiancée, tell me something about Emi.” Liam finally breaks the silence, an awkward smile hesitating just at the corners of his lips.

“About me?” I guess considering that he’s paid for my drinks I at least owe him a conversation, even if it is forced.

“Yup.”

“Hmm… I own my own coffee shop in Dallas.” I’d much rather talk about work than about Jack. I own a successful business. That makes me look a bit better than broken-hearted, frazzled, forgot-all-my-money Emi.

“Dallas, Texas?”

“The one and only.” I never thought I’d consider Dallas home, but I love it.

“What a coincidence, I grew up in Fort Worth.”

“That’s the accent, then.” I smile at him, relieved to find someone who isn’t a part of this wedding or my past. “Oregon is a long way from Texas. What brought you here?”

“A woman.” He winks at me. “Isn’t it always a woman that drags a man across the country?”

“I don’t know. I don’t have a lot of exper—” I stop before I can announce how few men I’ve dated. “I mean… wow. So, you’re married to a girl from Portland?” I glance down at his hand but see no ring.

“No, not anything actually.” Liam shrugs his shoulder with a sad smile.

“Why not?”

“Why not what?”

“You said you moved here for a woman and now you’re not anything, what happened?” I ask him, being far too nosey. If we’re gonna talk, though, why not talk about anything but me?

“Hmmm…” Liam is taking some time pondering his answer, which makes me worry that I’ve asked a question far too personal for someone I’ve just met five minutes ago. “She broke my heart, actually. It sounds like we have that in common.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” I force a frown. “Wait, why do you think I’m broken-hearted?”

“Seems kind of obvious, you see him again, meet his new fiancée and you run away. It screams broken heart, don’t you think?”

“I guess maybe…” I reluctantly agree with him even though he’s making complete sense.

“Ah. And this ex, he’s moved on before you have?”

“I’m not still in love with Jack, if that’s what you’re getting at. I’ve moved on; he just got engaged before I have.”

“Why run then? If you’ve moved on, shouldn’t you be OK with seeing him?”

I sigh and drop my head in shame. It would figure I would meet someone who could read me better than I can read myself.

“Can I get another shot?” I ask the bartender before turning on my stool to face Liam. “Fine, I’m not exactly moved on, per se. I don’t want him back or anything… He just... He’s engaged to a girl who made my life miserable.” The bartender hands me my shot and I swallow it as quickly as possible. “I’ll tell you this but only because I don’t know you and because of that you won’t tell my family and friends.”

“Fair enough.” he says. His dark eyes almost sparkle with intrigue and he sets down his water and gives me his full attention.

It’s far easier to explain your devastating past to someone who knows nothing about you. Maybe, since he seems to be able to read me as well as he has so far, he can give me some insight as to why I’m acting like a complete loon. After all, he too is suffering a broken heart. He said so himself.

Chapter Six

Three Years Ago

Downtown Portland, Oregon

The Mayfairs

“Tonight is the Christmas party, so please tell me you’ve made sure you can be home by five to get ready?” I ask Jack who’s standing at the kitchen counter waiting for his coffee to brew.

“Yes, I’ll be home by six at the latest and ready to go by seven.”

“Good. Cause I hate work functions alone.”

“You hate work functions at all,” Jack laughs.

He’s right. I’m not the biggest fan of work functions. I do all the PR and advertising for Mayfair Homes, so I should probably go and show my face and pretend that I love spending my evenings with the people I already spend eight hours a day with.

“I know. How about we go out for drinks afterwards?”

“Perfect! Maybe we can just make a quick appearance and leave early.”

“Maybe, but then how would you mingle with all the contacts you’ve brought to the business? You’re good at your job, Emi. You should put on a smile and be proud of that.”

“Why do you always have to be so good at making me feel better? Maybe I wanted to pretend I’m always irritated, instead of proud of what I’ve done.” I can’t help but laugh because even though I put on a serious face at work and around the clients, Jack knows I love what I do. I may not love the furniture business, but I love that I’ve helped grow this company into one of the top home stores in the area.

“It’s cause you’re cute.” He winks before patting me on the behind and heading towards the front door. It’s not like my job is nearly as important as his job as a lawyer. Not that he’ll ever admit that. He says he went into law because his dad was in the business and he always wanted to be like his father. But I don’t think that’s really it. Jack is the second top lawyer at his firm and he works so hard for people he barely knows. I’m proud of him and I know he’s proud of himself. “I’ll see ya tonight.”

When I get to work, my boss Aron Mayfair is waiting for me at my desk. “Emi, I have an idea that I wanted to run past you.”

“OK, shoot.” I click on my computer and sit at my desk that he’s leaning against.

“Have you seen those commercials from businesses in town wishing their clients a Merry Christmas?”

“I have.”

“Can we turn this Christmas party into one of those? We’ve got just over 3 weeks until Christmas so you should have time to get everything lined up. What do you think?”

“I think that’s a great idea, Aron. I’ll get started on everything right now and arrange for our film crew to be there tonight. Leave it to me and it’ll be great.”

“One thing, though…” He stands away from my desk. “I want Greta to be the host of the show. Maybe she could walk around and ask questions to our employees.”

“I’m not sure what kind of show it will be?” I ask, thinking he was talking two-minute commercial here. “Really the ad can’t be more than a couple of minutes.”

“I know, I know, but Greta gets so much attention everywhere she goes and she wants to become the face of the company. I’m thinking what better way to start than with a Christmas and New Year ad?”

“OK, maybe we can have her ask clients about their New Year’s resolutions and just do a Happy Holidays ad as opposed to a specific Christmas ad?”

“Perfect! I’ll let her know. What time should she be there tonight to get started?”

Shoot. I didn’t want to come to this party at all, and now I have to work it. So much for arriving with Jack, I guess we’ll just meet up there. “Um… Maybe have her meet me at five, that will give us an hour to work through her performance and get ready.” When I say ‘performance’, I mean that as loosely as possible. A holiday commercial is hardly much of a performance, or ‘show’, as Aron keeps calling it.

“I knew I could count on you, Em. You’re a star!”

“You know who Greta Mayfair is, right?” Morgan, my camera guy, flips open a magazine he brought with him. A tall, thin, half-naked, blonde woman stares back at me.

“Whoa.” I stare down at the picture even though I suddenly feel a little dirty. This girl has no shame and apparently not a lot of morals from the looks of it.

“That’s just the pic I felt comfortable showing you. She’s done full-out nude.”

“So, then, why come work for her dad’s furniture store, if she’s basically a playboy bunny?”

“They fired her. I guess she’s a real bitch. No one wants to work with her anymore so her daddy is saving her.”

“How do you know so much about this?” I ask Morgan, who’s busy setting up his camera and technical supplies.

“You saw that picture. Every man knows about her.”

“Gross. Well let’s just make sure she’s wearing clothes and everything should go fine.”

“I hope so.” Morgan nods towards the doorway.

She looks exactly like her picture. She’s got to be almost six feet tall, probably something like a size double-zero, her long blonde hair is perfectly curled with not a strand out of place and her skin would make a porcelain doll jealous. I’d say she’d be perfect as the face of the company if it wasn’t for the Jessica Rabbit dress she’s wearing, with cleavage falling out of the top and a slit cut up to her hip on the right side.

“Are you Esmeralda?”

“No…” I reach out and shake her outstretched hand. “I mean yes, but I don’t go by Esmeralda, you can call me Emi.”

“Emi, great. So, what kind of show are we going for here? So I know what kind of character I’m playing.” She flips her hair behind her shoulder and then puts her hands on her hips.

“Character?” I ask, a tad confused. “It’s not really a show per se; but more of a two-minute commercial slot. We’re going to have you work the room and ask people about their New Year’s resolutions before getting a group shot of everyone shouting Happy Holidays.”

“So…” She rolls her eyes as if it’s part of her profession. “You’re telling me that I’m doing a commercial?”

“Yes?” I ask it as a question, unsure of what her father told her, and glance back at Morgan whose eyes are as wide as saucers. His stare bores through her barely-there dress, as if he is trying to use X-ray vision. Besides what he just showed me in the magazine, I’m not sure there is a lot more to see.

“Ridiculous. I told Daddy that I could do so much more than this. I should not have ruined that contact with E! for my own show.”

Morgan and I exchange glances wondering what planet this girl thinks she’s on. Not that I have any doubt, what-so-ever, that she’s perfect for the E! channel. She has that Kardashian vibe.

“This will be fun,” I reassure her, hoping that the diva in her stays away long enough for me to shoot this commercial.

“Whatever. Where’s the dressing room? I need to touch up my makeup.”

A laugh suddenly escapes my throat, causing Morgan to start coughing to cover it up.

“We don’t have an actual dressing room, but the bathroom is down the hall to the right and it’s really nice.” Her face stays stone-still and her eyes never leave my own. “I can show you? But in all honesty, you already look amazing.”

That brings a small smile to her face.

“I’ll take your word for it.” She flashes an obviously fake smile and glances around the room. “Who decorated this?” she suddenly asks. The decorators, caterers, and employees are still here, tirelessly working getting the place ready for the party that starts in less than an hour.

I made sure it looked Christmassy since we are also shooting a commercial tonight. There are six eight-foot-tall Christmas trees around the room, fully decorated, loaded with fake presents. Garlands and twinkle lights hang from the ceiling, and the tables have centerpieces that would make a Christmas bride jealous. It’s truly gorgeous, and cost far more than I would ever, ever pay myself.

“We hired a company,” I say, grabbing the list of questions I made up for her.

“They did an OK job.” She glances over at the bartender. “I’m going to just grab a drink.”

“Greta—” I rush to her side, hoping getting trashed is not on her agenda. “I actually have a list of questions I need you to look over.”

“I already know what I’m going to ask.” She waves my paper away and beelines to the bar.

Five minute ago she asked what character she needed to play and yet suddenly she’s prepared with questions she didn’t even know she had to ask? I find that more than hard to believe.

“This is gonna be a nightmare.” Morgan stands at my side watching her sashay her tiny ass to the bar and immediately flirt with the bartender who seems mesmerized by the spell that is Greta Mayfair.

“Hi, babe.” Jack leans in and kisses my cheek.

He’s here right on time, but since I’m a tad pre-occupied with not bringing out the evil from within Greta I don’t even have a minute to spend with him like I’d planned.

“I’m so sorry I have to work during this.”

“It’s no problem. Did you get something to eat?” he asks me, being the great boyfriend that he is.

“I haven’t. You should, though.” I’m starving, so knowing that I might not have time to eat, from the menu that I worked so hard to get perfect, is irritating to say the least.

“I’ll bring you a plate. How about you?” he asks Morgan, who shrugs his shoulders before glancing at me for permission.

“I can always eat.” Morgan is my favorite camera guy because he’s the most honest guy I’ve met. When you ask him a question you’d better really want the truthful answer, because he will give it to you.

“I’ll be right back.” Jack heads in the direction of the buffet.

“Greta.” I approach her at the bar. “We need to get started. Maybe just work the room and start asking questions about people’s New Year’s resolutions.”

Greta glares at me. “What’sh your name again?” she slurs, almost knocking me over with the smell of liquor on her breath. I’d say she’s drank as much as possible as quickly as possible in the last thirty minutes, and is now the most flammable thing in the entire room.

“Oh my God, she’s drunk. I am so getting fired,” I mumble. I don’t know why, it’s not like she’s sober enough to comprehend much. “Emi is my name. Do you think you can still do the commercial?”

“Of course, I can, I’m a professional actress and model. Why would you even ask that?” She stands, stumbling just a bit on her stripper heels. “You worry about the cameras and I’ll do the rest.”

“Perfect,” I say, hoping she’s too drunk to notice the condescending tone in my voice. I turn to Morgan who starts filming. “Just start following her around I guess.”

“This is going to be epic.”

I glare at him. “Stop. It’s going to be fine.” I hope. If nothing else, at least we’ll have a potential viral video on our hands.

Morgan and I follow Greta halfway around the room and film her asking a few people some questions that she doesn’t slur through. She’s obviously got experience keeping her cool on camera when wasted. I’m sure she’d make any reality TV station a fortune. The tabloids would eat her up.

“Oh!” she yells and turns towards me. “I found a co-shtar.” She points towards the table where Jack is setting plates. “He ish…delishish.”

There are a few too many shs in her words for me to deny the fact that she’s completely lit. And now she’s after my boyfriend.

“What? No, he’s my fiancé. He doesn’t want to be in the commercial.”

“That’sh your fianshé? No way?!” Her emphasis on your makes my skin crawl. Why would she be so surprised that Jack is with me?

“Come on.” She prances across the room, hardly even wobbling on her platform heels. Her drunken strut is nowhere near as clumsy as mine would be.

Morgan and I follow her across the room, which seems to be at the speed of a moderate jog. I motion to Morgan to stop filming and he wastes no time setting down the camera and grabbing the plate of food Jack got for him.

“Hey, Ems.”

“You. Are. Beautiful.” Greta pulls Jack against her and breathes into his ear.

“I, uh—” he looks over at me, eyes widened, a stunned look on his face.

“I’m so sorry, Jack, this is Aron’s daughter, Greta. She’s supposed to be my host for the commercial we’re trying to shoot.”

“Oh.” He kindly reaches back and removes her hand from his ass before putting both his hands on her shoulders and pushing her away from him. “Nice to meet you, Greta.”

I bite my bottom lip hard to keep from completely losing it at his disgusted face. From the looks of it you’d think Greta has some kind of infectious disease that Jack is trying to keep away from. I’m sure there’s an STD or three floating around areas I’d rather not picture.

“Yhou are perfffect, we ssshould do thish together.” Her drunkenness is really starting to show now. The extra sounds within her words are becoming more and more exaggerated.

Out of the corner of my eye I notice Aron is heading in our direction. Shit.

“Greta, your dad is coming.” Why can’t he mingle instead of choosing now to check on how his star of a daughter is coming along in her performance?

She immediately straightens up and loops her arm through Jack’s, holding onto his elbow as if he was walking her down the aisle. Or maybe she’s just using him as a stabilizer in case she loses her balance. “Daddy, have you met my date?”

“I haven’t.” He ignores me and heads straight to Jack, hand extended. “It’s great to meet you, son, what do you do for a living?” Trust Aron to immediately quiz a potential suitor of his daughter’s on what he does for a living.

“Um… I’m a lawyer at Morgan, Steller & Cabot?” Jack says it like he’s not even sure, and glances at me for assistance.

“A lawyer—”

I cut Aron off. “Actually, Aron, this is my fiancé, Jack.” I get a confused look from both Greta and Aron. ‘You actually met him last summer at the company picnic?’ I stare at his shaking head and scrunched face. He obviously doesn’t remember.

“He belongsh wifth me.” Greta glares down at me. “Daddy, telll himm.”

“Greta is a fine young woman. But if he belongs to Emi, I respect that.” It’s as if we’re talking about an object, which I can tell by looking at Jack is not something he’s very impressed with.

“WHHAT?!” Greta yells, gaining the attention of the people near us. “No. Look at him? He’sh gorgeoush, he’sh well off and shhe is jusht… ugh!” The disgusted noise coming from her makes me want to crawl into a hole and die. If only she would hiccup randomly through her sentences she’d be the description of an obnoxious drunk. “Shhe should be wifth hims.” She points to Morgan, who has a steak halfway to his mouth without using a fork. “He’sh like, ew and she’sh like, ew. Jusht trusht me… I’ll take goood care of hiiimm.” She pats Jack’s ass again with her free hand and tries to plant a kiss on his lips, but stumbles over her own step, tightening her grip on Jack’s arm that is outstretched to keep her away.

“I don’t think so.” Jack somehow manages to escape her grip, causing her to fall over and slump down into a nearby chair. “I’m with Emi and I’m perfectly happy with that.” He wraps an arm around me, pulling me as close to him as possible before clearing his throat and loosening his tie with his free hand. “But I’ve no doubt, any man would be lucky to have you.” He politely smiles at Aron but avoids direct eye contact with crazy Greta. Likely for fear that she’ll take it as some kind of marriage proposal.

My Jack. Always the gentleman, in even the strangest of situations.

Greta suddenly starts wailing some kind of snorting cry or distress signal, and Aron kneels down by her chair. A few sniffs into the air and I’ve no doubt he’s discovered she’s had more than just one drink. “What did you do to her?” Aron asks me, pointing at a now slurring, sobbing, slumped-over Greta.

“Nothing. We were trying to prep her on the commercial—”

“SHHOW!” Greta yells the word at me.

“And she was only interested in the bar so we uh—”

“So, you just let her get wasted?” Aron stands so that we are again at eye level.

“No. No, sir. We didn’t let her, she’s an adult. I just… She’s quite a handful and—”

“So, let me get this straight, I’m paying for a film crew—” He glances at Morgan, who is hardly an entire crew. “And the host is slurring, crying, and being humiliated by your fiancé.”

“I didn’t humiliate anyone, actually—” Jack shakes his head at Aron.

“Emi…” Aron is avoiding direct eye contact with me and shaking his head. “I thought you were right for this job. But with Greta coming into the picture, I can see that jealousy has taken over, as it always does when women are around my Greta.”

“WHAT!?” Jack, Morgan, and I say in unison. He has got to be kidding me. Jealous? Of Greta?! I don’t think so. Maybe I’m a little envious that I can’t pull off the dress she’s wearing, but that’s it.

“I am not jealous of Greta.” The disbelieving laugh I’ve been trying to stifle surrounds the words I’m using as my defense. Which makes me sound completely disrespectful. Although, in this particular situation, who would be married to respectful at this point? I mean come on, I’m in trouble because a grown woman decided to get wasted when she knew she was working. How is this my fault?

“It’s funny now?” Aron throws his hands in the air.

“No. Not funny, just… crazy! You can’t be serious about this? She’s a full-grown adult. I can’t make her not drink. I suggested it, but she wouldn’t listen. In fact she’s been talking down to me all night long. What did you expect me to do?”

Jack squeezes my hand. Probably as a signal that I should shut up and not make the situation even worse, but I can’t seem to go down without a fight.

“I’ll have you know that this entire situation has been utterly humiliating for me. If you’re now upset because she’s turned into this…” I point over at her. Her mascara is running down her face and her skin now a pale shade of green.

The retching noise she makes as she leans over to throw up on her father’s shoes turns all the heads that weren’t already in our direction.

“Ohh… That’s never good,” Morgan says behind me.

Aron momentarily closes his eyes through a giant heaving sigh. “I’m sorry, Emi. I’ll need you to pack up your things. Unfortunately, I’ll have to let you go.”

“You’re firing me?! For what?”

“For letting Greta become wasted at what was supposed to be our company Christmas Greeting recording and party. I expected you to be able to handle anything thrown at you in this job. This entire situation is hardly professional, and I think you and I both know it.” He directs his statement at both Morgan and me.

“You’re right,” I shout. “The entire night has been completely unprofessional. Your daughter is the most conniving, manipulative person I have ever met, and I’ve only known her for an hour. The fact that you are punishing the only person who tried to keep things professional is a testament to her manipulating even her own father. Good luck keeping your company afloat with her as the face of the business.” The grip I have on Jack’s hand is probably injuring him. Holy Moses, I’ve snapped. A drunk, nude model has caused me to have a complete breakdown, and I’m standing in the middle of a party screaming at my boss.

“You can excuse yourselves now.” With a wave of his hand, he expects me to be gone for doing nothing wrong. “You, though,” he points at Jack, “you will apologize to my Greta for making her feel badly about herself.”

“I don’t think so! If anything she should be apologizing to everyone in the room.” Jack looks between Greta and Aron for a moment. He rolls his eyes skyward and nods with an irritated laugh. “Let’s go.”

Jack and Morgan work quickly grabbing his equipment and bags. “This is insane,” I bark at them as I grab my purse. “I’m taking these.” I pile the three heaping plates of food on top of one another and quickly shove the full bottle of wine chilling in an ice bucket in the center of our table, into my bag. I did all the work, so I should at least taste the menu.

My heels clack across the floor as I follow Jack and Morgan through the room. The eyes of my co-workers are following my every step. If I was really evil, I’d post whatever video Morgan got on the internet as soon as possible. But I can’t. I may have just had an epic meltdown in front of hundreds of people, but I can’t ruin anyone, not even Greta.

“I don’t even know what just happened.” I look up at Jack when I catch up with him.

“Me neither.” Jack’s face is netted with confusion. “That was… insane.”

We’ve all made it to the front of the building and stand staring at each other in disbelief. This is definitely not the Christmas party experience I was expecting.

“I stole our plates… and this.” I pull the bottle of wine from my purse and watch both Jack and Morgan break out into laughter.

“Wow… You’re a fighter and a thief. I’m learning all kind of things about you tonight.” Morgan grabs a plate from the pile of three in my right hand. “Want me to upload this video? I got the whole thing.”

“You were filming that?” I ask him, surprised I didn’t notice it. I shove the wine back into my bag before handing Jack a plate of food.

“Well… I thought it might be useful for the impending lawsuit.” He winks at me.

“It’s tempting.” I look over at Jack who shakes his head with a small smile. “But my lawyer says it’s not a good idea.”

“I know. If you ever change your mind, though, I’ll save it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I say to him. “I’m so sorry about tonight.”

“Don’t worry about it, they’re assholes.”

“I hope you find another playboy bunny.” I try not to scrunch my face in disgust as I say it, but I can tell my face isn’t co-operating.

Morgan laughs and winks at me. “No worries there, I’ve got a whole stack of 'em.”

“Ew,” I say before watching him toss his half-empty plate into a garbage can on the sidewalk, grab his bags and jog across the street to hop on the Max train.

Jack’s phone pings in his pocket.

“Oh no, is it work?”

His face suddenly tenses as he looks at his phone before handing it over to me.

Jack, I have connections. You’ll be hearing from me. Greta

“What the fuck?” I yell, nearly dropping my plate on the ground and startling an older woman walking past us with a bag of groceries. “She could hardly speak a straight sentence five minutes ago. Now she’s suddenly become Nancy Drew? How on earth did she get your number so fast?”

“She’s going to be a real pain in the ass.” Jack growls in irritation. I watch as he hits Delete and shoves his phone in his pocket. “Don’t worry about it, though, I want nothing to do with her.” He gives me a peck on the cheek and nods in the direction of the parking garage. “Dinner on the street as we walk to our car, there’s a date we’ve not yet had.”

“True.” I wish this situation was a little less stressful than it is. Jack’s trying hard to make light of it, but I just lost my job. A job I worked really hard at.

“Everything will work itself out for the best, you’ll see.” As if reading my mind Jack sends his usual positive vibe into the atmosphere.

I hope he’s right.

Chapter Seven

Present Day

West Hills, Portland, Oregon

The Bridal Shower

“What happened last night?” Lily asks. She, Hannah, Josh, and Evan are all sitting around the dining table with me the next morning, coffee in hand.

I guess now is as good a time as any to spill all the secrets I’ve held back about the last day Jack and I were together. As I rattled it all off to Liam last night I felt bad that I was telling it to a stranger before I told even my own brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law.

“There are some things you guys don’t know.” I glance at everyone except Lily and Josh, who already know too much. “Greta and I have a bit of a history.”

“How?” Evan asks.

“Remember when I worked for Mayfair Home?”

“Oh yeah… I forgot about that. You quit right after you and Jack got engaged, right?”

“Not exactly.” I purse my lips together. I hate it when I lie and then get caught and need to explain it later. Right now, I honestly feel like I’m twelve years old. “I didn’t quit, I got fired.”

“How did you get fired?” Hanna’s voice is high-pitched and unbelieving. I can’t blame her; I’m not the girl who normally gets fired, and even she knows it.

“Greta. She was supposed to be the face of a commercial we were shooting, but she got wasted, took a liking to Jack, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I was accused of being jealous, not keeping a close enough eye on her, not keeping her sober, and being irresponsible. So her dad fired me.”

“WHAT?” Evan and Hannah say in unison.

“Oh my God, Ems.” Hannah stares at me. “I’m so sorry. If I’d had any idea at all about this, I never would have asked her to be a bridesmaid.”

“Oh God. She’s a bridesmaid?” I didn’t know this detail because I only stayed here for a few minutes with her last night. I just assumed she was here for the barbecue because Jack is in the wedding party. I expected Evan to have him as a groomsman; they’ve been best friends for years. I couldn’t possibly expect him to dump Jack just because of what happened between him and me.

“Yes, I mean she’s engaged to my brother so I felt like I should include her. I’d kick her out but it’s too late for that.” She shrugs her shoulders apologetically.

“No, you don’t have to do that.”

“We need to find you a date for this wedding. Someone better than asshole Jack,” Lily says enthusiastically. I watch her mouth the word sorry to Hannah, probably for calling Jack an asshole.

“Right. How’s that going to—” I stop mid-sentence and remember meeting Liam last night. I know he mentioned that he’s been recently heartbroken, but maybe him hearing my Greta story last night made him feel sorry enough for me that he would help a girl out. It’s not like I’m asking him to get married, or even go on a real date. I just need backup proof that I’m well over Jack.

“What?” Lily asks me, knowing, as best friends do, that I’ve got an idea.

“I actually met a man last night.”

“My God.” Evan shakes his head as if I’m the most pathetic person he knows. I’m not sure why, but he’s always felt the need to protect me from even myself, and this headshake is the same reaction he had right before he gave Ezra Mitchell a black eye when he heard him talking about taking my virginity when we were seventeen.

“Not like that.” I glare at Evan as a warning to stay away and let me deal with me for once. “We just talked. He owns a bar up the street. He agreed that my entire situation this week is more than rough, so maybe he’d help me out?”

“Do you have his number?” Lily asks.

“No, but I know where he works.”

“Well you don’t have time to go there this morning. We have my bridal shower in an hour.” Hannah smiles through clenched teeth. She knew I was hoping they would have had this bridal shower before I got here. Mingling with my ex-fiancée’s mother is not something I’m looking forward too.

“I’ll go afterwards. I’m sorry if this whole thing is becoming weird,” I say, even though I don’t think it’s entirely my fault.

“Don’t apologize, I only wish I’d known all this earlier.” Hannah frowns, obviously upset that she isn’t in on all of my secrets. But it’s not like I intentionally kept all this from her. Until yesterday, I didn’t even know Greta was back in the frame.

“I’m sorry. I was humiliated.” I sigh deeply, knowing I should tell the rest of my secret to Hannah right now before she finds out on her own and hates me forever. “There might be something else between Greta and me…”

“There’s more?”

“Yeah, it gets worse. I could have lived with the Christmas party thing. But…” I pause, trying to find a delicate way to say this next part. How do you tell someone their cheating brother was in cahoots with Greta the bitch the entire time? “The day I caught Jack… you know. With Lily’s advice, I went over later that day to talk to him but, it didn’t go as I planned.”

“How did it go?” Evan asks, more interested in the story than I expected him to be. He’s never been one to be interested in every detail of my drama, but right now, he’s all ears.

“When the elevator doors opened, I heard Jack’s voice so I peered around the corner before leaving the elevator, you know, so he wouldn’t see me, and I saw…” I have to stop and take a breath to keep myself from becoming emotional. It happens every time I relive this part of the story. “I saw Greta at our front door telling him she heard he was newly single. And then… he invited her in.”

“WHAT?! He did? What happened next?” Hannah’s voice is high and whiney, almost like she’s having a hard time believing her perfect May could do something this brazen.

“I dunno. I never spoke to him again. But now they're engaged. So what does that tell you?”

“I am so sorry, Ems.” Evan reaches across the table and pats my hand. “I had no idea. I can kick his ass if you want?”

“No, you can’t, because no one is going to mention this. He chose her even before we broke up, so, no matter how much any of this appears to bother me, he gets to keep her. He’s obviously not the Jack I once knew.”

“I promise to keep a fair distance between you and Greta at the bridal shower.” A thin apologetic smile spreads across Hannah’s face before she stands from the table. “I hate to cut this short but we have to get ready. Is there anything else we should know?”

“That’s it.” Thank God that’s it. “I’ll try and not let my emotions get the best of me the next couple of days.”

It won’t be easy, and I definitely can’t make any promises, but for Hannah’s sake I’ll at least try and do my best and not over-think the situation. No matter how much my heart hurts over all this, Hannah and Evan deserve a stress-free wedding.

“Emi!” Amelia greets me before even her own daughter when we walk through the door. “My dear girl, how I’ve missed you!” She surprises me by pulling me in for a hug. I kind of figured after I bailed on the huge wedding she was planning that she’d be more irritation, and less missed me. “You look…” She looks me over for a minute, probably trying to find another, less obvious, word for fat. “Fabulous.”

I’ve noticed in life that when people tell you you look ‘fabulous’ you really don’t. You look just slightly less great than they expected, and ‘fabulous’ rolls off the tongue so quickly and easily in a tense situation.

“Can you believe that we finally get to be family?”

“Well… Not me, but Evan.”

“That includes you. Who’d have ever thought that instead of you and Jack, we’d end up with Hannah and Evan getting married.” She smiles sweetly before putting her arm around my shoulder and walking me into her lavish living room. “Still such a shame about you and Jack, though.” She leans closer to me. “The boy was heartbroken for ages. Even now, I sometimes wonder.”

“What?” I force my face to not look stunned at what she just said. She still sometimes wonders if Jack is brokenhearted over me? But he’s engaged!

“Hannah mentioned you ran away from us for some type of internship? How did that go, dear?”

“Internship?”

“Emi, I just remembered something I need to talk to you about, urgently.” Hannah grabs my arm and pulls me away from Amelia and Lily, dragging me across the room and into the pantry. A pantry that’s bigger than my bedroom. “Shit,” Hannah hisses. It’s unlike her to use my favorite curse word.

“What is it?”

“There is something I forgot about. Please don’t hate me.”

“Spit it out.” I should have known I wasn’t the only one with secrets.

“When you and Jack broke up, he didn’t want to tell Mother what actually happened. So we— He told her that you had an amazing opportunity with an ad agency in New York for an internship.”

“WHAT?” I squeak, in a weird high-pitched voice. “Why would he tell her that?” Having said that, I’m not entirely sure why I’m surprised by this. Jack did refuse to admit any wrongdoing even when he was caught red-handed. Why would I think his family would know the truth?

“He thought he could win you back, Ems. He didn’t want to break Mom's heart by telling her why you actually broke up.”

“So instead of telling the truth he lied to her and made our break-up my fault?”

“Well, no… He said you two just grew apart and amicably broke up. She’s not mad at you. She’s more frustrated with Jack. I don’t know, actually. Things have been weird whenever you’re mentioned.” Hannah bites her freshly-manicured nails nervously.

“Hannah…” Her name leaves my lips tinged with irritation. I can’t be completely mad at her. It’s not like she made it up. She just went along with it. Plus, she did kind of just forgive me earlier when I told her a secret she knew nothing about. If I don’t just let this go, guess who will be the bigger bitch here? “Whatever, it’s fine,” I sigh through clenched teeth, annoyed at having to lie some more. “What do I need to say?”

“Just go with my story, at least until after the wedding, and then I’ll tell her truth. I promise.”

“Fine.” I scan the pantry and see a basket full of sample-sized bottles of liquor and shove four of them into my bag. Hannah’s eyes grow wide and she pinches her lips into a disapproving, judgmental pucker. “What? I’ve earned these. Go mingle…”

She rolls her eyes with a half-smile before giving me a hug, a quick one because she knows I hate hugs. “Thank You.” When she disappears through the door I grab two more bottles of vodka out of the basket and down them as quickly as possible so no one thinks I’m a total drunk. Because I’m not, normally. I just need a bit of encouragement to face these people, and now I need the creative part of my brain to kick in quickly so I can lie on demand.

“Emi?” I hear Lily calling me like we’re in the middle of a game of hide and seek. I click open the door and watch Lily spin around to face me. “What are you doing?”

“Hiding.” I reluctantly leave the pantry and peek around the corner at the room full of plastic, made-up, glittering rich women. Hannah, they each squeal one by one as they greet the bride-to-be.

“Well stop it. You look more than crazy.” Lily grabs two glasses of champagne off a tray sitting near her on the counter. Lucky for me she has no idea I’ve just downed two shots of vodka and have four more waiting on deck in my bag. Getting drunk is going to be way easier than I expected. “Drink this and let’s go out there and try to blend in. And no more acting like a loon, pull it together.”

“Is Greta here?”

“Yes, and if you don’t get out here she’ll look much, much saner than you. Which is probably hard to do when she’s nearly certifiably mental.”

“All right.” I down the champagne, set the empty glass on the counter and grab another off the tray. “Let’s go do some lying.”

“Wait, what? Why are we lying?”

“Hannah and Jack didn’t want to tell Amelia what really happened when we broke up, so they told her I took an internship in New York and that we just grew apart.” I force down the champagne in my hand and exchange it for another.

“That’s uh… wow. OK then, let’s go lie.”

“You’re on board?” I ask her, surprised she’s going to help me after she’s been so up my ass about being half-cracked.

“Well... not really. But this week can’t get any weirder, so why the hell not?”

“Great!” I say.

We join the buzzing room of ladies and I’m suddenly a little afraid of what exactly might be said. I feel like I should have a notepad to keep track of my lies, just in case I need to follow up with them later in the week.

“Just smile and nod, and maybe they won’t even approach—”

“Emi! I was wondering where you ran off to in the middle of our conversation. Now come say hello to everyone.” Amelia guides Lily and me over to the group of women on the patio.

I glance around at the faces of Jack’s aunts, family friends, and a few strangers. Obviously, the few family members Evan and I have didn’t get an invitation to the bridal shower. I’m a little jealous. Front and center is Greta. Her fake, forced smile blends right in with the rest of them.

“Have you met May, Jack’s new uh, fiancée?” An almost malicious smile hangs at the corners of Amelia’s lips as she introduces us. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think she was up to something. Amelia doesn’t play games though. If she wants you to know something, she’ll just say it. I’m sure the alcohol is deafening the rational part of my brain already and really I’ve got nothing to worry about.

“I’ve heard so much about you.” My attention moves from Amelia’s underlying motives to Greta who squeezes both my hands like we’re deemed to be new best friends. She’s lying through her teeth and if I really wanted to out her right now I could. Except I’m not sure anyone would believe me over her.

“Emi was once…” Amelia practically stumbles over her words a bit. She looks tongue-tied on how to introduce me to the woman she thinks has never met me. Which is completely out of character for Amelia. I’ve never, ever seen her nervous. “Emi was once engaged to Jack. So, you have that in common.” She pats my back and suddenly shouts hello at a woman who’s just entered the room, leaving Greta and me together.

“This must be so hard for you, to have to watch the love of your life having moved on.”

“Jack is hardly the love of my life.” I down the champagne I’m still holding in one take. They are going down easier and easier, which isn’t good. “You can have him. In fact, I hope you two are very happy together. You’re made for each other: both cheaters, both over the top, and both sad pathetic liars.”

“I’ll have you know Jack has never cheated on me. He doesn’t need to, look at me.” She waves her hands down her body. How arrogant can someone be? “But, I warned you I was more his type than you. I guess you should have listened and saved yourself some heartache.” She smiles with a lift of her shoulders. “I really should get back.”

“Yes, you should, maybe you could tell everyone how you’re wearing a second-hand ring after cheating with your fiancé while he was still engaged to someone else? You’ll fit right in with everyone here, just like the Stepford wife that you’ll be.”

A sound comes out of her mouth that is anything but pleasant. She quickly stomps her foot and turns away from me, sidling up to some rich old broad I’ve never seen before.

“At least you haven’t had to lie yet,” Lily laughs beside me and motions to a free seating area. “Let’s sit, away from the action. Maybe it will keep us out of trouble.”

A clapping comes from the far side of the room. Amelia is gathering everyone’s attention.

“Today we celebrate my lovely daughter, Hannah. She insisted I don’t embarrass her, so I’ll do my best. Let’s play a quick introduction game. We’ll go around the room and point to someone and say how we know them. Obviously, we will start with my Hannah. I know her because I’m her mother Amelia and I suffered many hours of labor bringing her into this world.” Her laugh fills the room as she points at Hannah.

The game goes on and on, and Lily introduces herself as my best friend which throws the introduction game to me. “I’m Emi Harrison, I know Hannah through her brother Jack.” Hannah’s eyes widen for a second, worried about what might come out of my mouth. “I know Greta, or as you all seem to call her, May, from my job with her father Aron Mayfair. Greta and I worked together on a project once, didn’t we?” I point at Greta who looks momentarily horrified before spitting out an uncomfortable laugh and moving the game along, ignoring the question and avoiding the prying eyes surrounding us.

I should have got hold of Morgan and asked for the video proof of what a nut-job Greta really is. That certainly would have thrown a wrench into her snide remarks aimed at me.

“Oh no!” I whisper to Lily, barely able to turn my head without the entire room spinning around me. Things are taking a sudden turn for the worse. I knew I shouldn’t have drunk so much so quickly on an empty stomach. “I’m gonna be sick.” I lean into Lily, who grabs my arm.

“Where’s the bathroom?”

“Too far.” I run to the patio, her at my heels. I try to make it at least past the decorative fountain, but I don’t. The heaving sound coming from within makes even me jump. I don’t have to turn around to know the whole room is watching me defile this very expensive water feature.

“She’ll be fine. I’m so sorry.” Lily is standing in front of me trying to apologize my way out of this embarrassment. She glances at me, her face scrunched up in horror. “This is not good, Ems,” she mumbles under her breath. All I can do is nod as I go for another round into the once crystal-clear water of the fountain.

“Oh my.” Amelia bolts to action and runs to my side. “Let’s get you lying down. Help me get her to the guest room.”

With Amelia on one side and Lily on the other, they drag me through the crowd of women and to a small guest bedroom on the first floor of their house.

“Grab her some Tylenol, Marion.” Amelia barks an order at the woman dressed all in black in the doorway. Before I can object I’m sipping water with Tylenol and have a cold rag being held against the back of my neck. “Was it something you ate?” Amelia asks, sitting by my side and attempting to nurse me back to health. Or in this case, an earlier, more sober version of me.

“No, no. Probably it was something I drank.” I will not tell her how much something I drank. That part isn’t important.

“Of course, she’s drunk.” A voice echoes from the doorway. Greta glares at me. “What a way to ruin the party.”

“Greta, go gossip somewhere else,” Lily snaps at her before closing the door in her face.

“Are you drunk?” Amelia asks, looking almost more concerned than angry.

“No, not really. I just had a lot of champagne on an empty stomach, that’s all. I’m so sorry. I feel a lot better, though.” That’s mostly a lie. The room is still spinning, but I don’t feel nauseous any longer. That poor fountain.

“Emi.” Amelia’s motherly voice fills the room. “I know that this is a trying week for you and for Jack. But I would hope we could set all this aside and focus on Hannah and your brother Evan and make this as perfect as possible.” She takes my hand in hers. “I love you like my own daughter, Emi, and while I don’t know the exact truth over what happened between you and my son, I do know that he is still heartbroken over it to this day.”

“But he’s engaged to Greta,” I say, wondering what she meant by ‘exact truth’.

“Greta was there when Jack needed someone, but let’s face it, his heart is still with you. So, please use compassion when dealing with this tricky and emotional situation that we have ahead of us.” Her hand patting my own tells me her speech is done, and she suddenly stands and walks towards the door. “Stay in here if you like, but I do hope you’ll rejoin the party soon.” The door clicks closed and Lily and I are left alone.

“Whoa. She is a tad intimidating, isn’t she?” Lily says.

“What do you think she meant by that?”

“That Jack is still in love with you. Which is what we all thought anyway.”

“I don’t mean that, I mean when she said ‘the exact truth’. I don’t think she believes Hannah and Jack’s internship story. She knows something, though.” I let myself sink into the feathered pillow behind me.

“What she knows is that you and Jack have some unfinished feelings for one another. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see it.” Lily sits down where Amelia was a few moments ago. “I think it’s time for you to make a decision about this. Either you’re over Jack and you stop doing all of this…” she motions at my current drunken state, “or you tell him how you feel and go from there.”

“I don’t know how I feel, though.” I close my eyes. Maybe if the room stops circling me I’ll be able to figure out how I feel. “I want to be over him.”

“Good. After the party then, we’ll stop by and see your new friend. Nothing helps you move on better than a rebound guy. What was his name?”

“Liam,” I say, wondering if a rebound guy is really the right move to prove I’m over Jack.

The party lasts a couple more hours. Thankfully I’m able to avoid any more episodes and I am somehow able to steer clear of Greta and any family members of Jack’s who ask too many questions about my supposed internship and failed almost-wedding.

Hannah gets everything she could possibly need as an almost-married woman, and for the last hour I’ve watched Evan and Josh load it all up into two trucks as I’ve sat on the step of the front porch.

“Listen,” I say to Lily who’s helping Josh tie down the last of the boxes in the truck. “I think I should go make a fool of myself to this guy on my own.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Because it’s weird, and I’ve already looked like a ditz in front of him once. Not to mention that it’s probably a totally bad idea that he’ll laugh at. And let’s face it, this week alone I’ve had enough humiliation to last me a lifetime.”

She sighs heavy and glances at Josh. “Fine, I’ll drop you off there. But promise me you’ll come home immediately after, and that you won’t do anything completely stupid.”

“What stupid thing could I do?” I ask.

“Vomit in the elaborate landscaped waterfall in the middle of a party, maybe?” Josh laughs at me.

“Ask a random man to be your date to my wedding to prove you’re over Jack?” Evan adds to Josh’s suggestion.

“You guys aren’t funny.” I would add to my defense, but come on, I’ve got none.

“We should start a list of Emi’s not-intentional screw-ups this week,” Evan says, avoiding direct eye contact. Clearly, he’s not impressed with my behavior.

“I prefer that we don’t,” I say, knowing full well that writing it down isn’t necessary. They’ll be telling this story from memory for years to come.

When I walk into the bar it’s as dark as it was the other day, but this time I notice it’s because there are no windows except the porthole in the door. It truly is a dive bar, but I imagine having no windows makes it easier to hide from the problems you’re trying to drown.

“She’s back!” Bald Bartender yells, and I see Liam pop out of a doorway behind the bar.

“She certainly is. What brings you back? More troubles with the ex?” He winks at me and walks around the counter to where I’m standing.

“Yes, and no. Actually…” I fidget with my bracelets and bite my lip so hard I can taste the blood trickle into my mouth. “I… um…” I try to stop the bleeding in my lip without him noticing. “I wanted to ask a favor of you.”

“A favor? We’re already at that point in our relationship?” He laughs and motions to the table near the back of the bar.

I’m nervous, like the-nausea-is-starting-to-come-back nervous. I take a couple of deep breaths, hopefully unnoticeable, and sit at the table. Liam flips a chair around and straddles it leaning against the back. “What kind of favor are we talking here? Do you need another loan? Or maybe a hit man?”

“No, no, none of that, yet.”

His smile brings the dimples through his stubbled face.

“It’s actually kind of pathetic. I just… uh…” I take another breath and stare at the gold candle holder in front of me. The candle in it is dusty and melted down to the metal wick bottom. Come on, Em, just say it already, it’s not like it’s going to get any less weird. “I was wondering if you would come to the wedding with me as my date?”

There, my whole pathetic self, laid out on the table to a man I only just met yesterday.

Liam leans back for a minute, his lips pursed and his eyes clouded with confusion. “You want me to be your date, to your brother’s wedding? The one where your ex will be?”

“Yes. I know it’s ridicul—”

He cuts me off mid-sentence. “I’ll do it.”

“You will?”

“Sure, you’re beautiful, sweet, desperate, and you never know when I myself might need a favor in return.”

“As long as your favor doesn’t put me in jail, I’m in.”

“I’ll try to save that one until you know me a bit better then.” He runs his hand through his hair before leaning against the chair-back in front of him again. “Just one question: are we making him jealous so he’ll dump the new girl and beg you to come back, or just going for heartbreak that he’s lost you all together?”

“Why do I feel like you’ve done this before?” I ask him with a nervous laugh. “I think the later one, at least for now.”

“Perfect…” He pulls a black leather wallet from his back jeans pocket and pulls out a business card, sliding it across the table at me. “This is me, my number, email, everything you need to get me the details of this wedding date.”

“OK.”

“Is it black tie?”

“No.” For a guy, he pays attention to the details most men miss.

“I’ll be there.” He stands from his chair and puts his wallet back in his pocket. “And Emi?”

“Yeah?” I clutch my purse, still nervous even though he’s agreed to do this.

“When this wedding is over, he’ll know just how crazy he was to do what he did. Sound good?”

I nod with a hesitant smile. This could go great, I could achieve whatever it is I think I’m looking to achieve, or it could become a disaster. “Thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure.” With a nod of his head he stands up, walks round behind the bar, and disappears through the door.

Chapter Eight

Three and a Half Years Ago

Lincoln City, Oregon

The Proposal

“Pack a bag,” Jack announces as he walks through our apartment door.

“But I was just getting ready to make dinner.”

He looks at the counter covered in sauce jars, spaghetti noodles, and seasonings. “I love your spaghetti.” He wraps his arms around my waist. “But I’m thinking maybe tonight we go fancy and head to the coast for the weekend. It’s all booked, paid for, and I promise high amounts of romance.”

“What kind of romance? The kind that gets me into bed or the kind that makes me swoon and fall even more in love with you?”

“Hopefully both,” he laughs, before kissing my neck making sure that my answer isn’t no.

“How fancy?” I ask, following him into our room. I pull out our two black suitcases and lay them on the bed.

“The gray dress, fancy?” His smile grows and his brown eyes sparkle as he pictures me in the one dress he loves. I only have one gray dress and he requests it anytime he can. He picked it out one day while we were shopping and even though it’s a few years old I don’t think he’ll ever get tired of it. It’s a dress I wore for the first time to one of Jack’s office parties. It’s a gray dress that is short but has a longer lace overlay and long sleeves that are complete lace. It shows off my boobs nicely and fits like a glove (the regular kind).

“Whoa, we are going fancy. Does that mean—”

Like the soul-mate he is, he reads my mind. “Yes, the gray pinstripe suit.”

“Yay!” I start tossing clothes into my suitcase, not forgetting the dress and my highest of high heels that make me stand at least above Jack’s shoulders when wearing them.

It takes Jack and me all of an hour to pack our cases, and we speed through the mountains to Lincoln City. Normally when we come we stay in tiny motels or cool little bed and breakfasts, but when Jack pulls up to the entrance of the most expensive hotel in the town, my heart does a tiny pitter-patter as I imagine a fancy life I never say I want.

“We’re staying here?”

“Yup.”

“We never stay here.”

“I know, I thought it would be a nice change.” He grabs my hand and walks me into the hotel, then chats with the woman behind the counter as I gawk at the fancy interiors. Everything is shiny and new with a modern sleek design. White flowers are on every counter and neon blue lights are under every eave.

“Wow, we’re on the eleventh floor? Is there a balcony?” Jack knows my only requirement when staying at the beach is a balcony overlooking the ocean. I could spend hours sitting there, reading, or just watching the ocean. It’s mesmerizing.

“There is. I have a reservation in the restaurant in an hour so let’s dress up.” He flashes a sly smile as we walk out of the elevator and towards room 1124.

I admit, I’m getting a little curious as to why he’s going to all this trouble? It’s not like Jack to be so secretive. That’s part of what I love about him. I never have to wonder what he’s up to, he normally tells me up front. This time though… it’s like he’s hiding something from me. If I let myself go to what I think it might be, I’ll really be nervous. I’m sure it’s some kind of bad omen to expect what I think it is. If there is anything I’ve learned from watching far too many romantic comedies, it’s not to expect a proposal.

“What did you plan, Mr Cabot? Should I be nervous?”

“Not at all. I just wanted to do something special for you since I’ve been working all the time lately. It’s only fair.” The room door beeps and pops open.

“Whoa…” We walk into a sitting room bigger than our living room, with a floor-to-ceiling window looking out at the sunset. There is a big TV on one wall and a plush couch on the other. A pair of French doors opens to a king-sized bed facing yet another wall of windows and I spot the balcony stretching across both rooms.

“Jack this is… expensive.” I know Jack comes from money but he doesn’t normally live the fancy, rich life that he could if he wanted. He’s more down-to-earth and laid-back than that. This is extravagant and way out of the ordinary. Something is definitely up.

“Worth it.” He leans down and kisses my lips then tosses his bag onto the bed, unpacking everything and putting his things into the empty drawers in the dresser against the wall. “Get dressed.” He slaps me on the butt, waking me from my trance.

I plug in my curling iron and do long loose waves in my hair. Pull on my dress and slip on my heels. A quick touch up of the makeup and I’m ready.

“OK…”

When I walk out of the bathroom door I am stunned. I thought I was quick getting ready but from the looks of this place it took me a lot longer than I thought. On the balcony, there is a table set for two: candles, covered plates, and wine. “How did you—”

“Madam, sir.” A man in a tuxedo is directing me to my chair near where Jack is standing.

“Who’s this?” I ask Jack, unsure of exactly what is going on. I swear it was just twenty minutes ago I was standing here staring at the ocean, but now there is a full-out dinner and waiter in our room.

“This is Elliott, he’s our chef and waiter for the evening.” Jack pulls my chair out for me like the gentleman he is.

“You hired a private chef?”

“I did.” He grabs the wine bottle and pours us each a glass of wine, pink in color. “I also instructed him to bring dessert first, because I know how you love eating cake for dinner.” He laughs as he sets the wine back in the bucket. “But first…” He walks over and pulls opened one of the dresser drawers he just laid all his clothes in, and pulls out a small blue box with a bright white bow.

Oh my God. It’s a tiny gift box! Tiny as in the size of a small piece of jewelry. Holy shit. I was right, he was up to something. This is it, Ems. He’s proposing. How did he keep this a secret until right now? I can’t believe this is happening! Is it wrong that I want to call Lily right this second?

“I wanted to give you this.” He hands me the box and pulls his chair over near mine. “Open it.”

“What did you do?” I ask him, pulling the bow off and lifting the lid off the box to reveal a white jewelry box the perfect size for a ring. “Is this—” Thank God he can’t hear the squealing going on in my head right now.

Before I can finish, Jack takes the box, moves his chair, and kneels beside me opening the ring box.

“I know you didn’t want me to do this in a public place with a room full of strange eyes watching such a private moment, so here we are, in one of your favorite places, and I just have one question…” He smiles at me and pulls the ring out of the box before taking my left hand in his. “Will you do me a favor, and spend forever making me this happy?”

“Oh my God!” I can’t contain the squeal any longer and jump out of my chair, knocking Jack back and causing the ring to fall to the floor. “Oh no!” I kneel on the floor with him and search for the ring that is thankfully tumbling towards the bed and not the edge of the balcony. Jack spots it first, laughing as he collapses to the floor to reach it.

“Marry me?” He says it through a laugh, both of us now on the floor, me in tears.

“Of course,” I yell at him as he slides the gorgeous 3-carat ring onto my third finger. I wrap my arms around his neck and stare at the ring over his shoulder for a moment. “I can’t believe you did all this!”

“Well, I love you more than anything.” His lips meet mine making me forget dessert, rings, or even the fact that I’m wearing the most uncomfortable six-inch heels.

“I can’t believe you’re engaged!!” Lily stares at my hand even weeks after she saw it originally. “This is quite the party, too. Who are all these people?”

“I have no idea. I actually don’t know half of them. But isn’t it incredible?” I glance at the ring again before taking a sip of my pink champagne. “It’s like a dream.”

“Have you set a date?”

“No. In fact, I didn’t even arrange this party, this was all Amelia. I have no idea how to plan a wedding. You know me.”

“I do know you.” Lily nods her head sipping her champagne. “Want my advice?”

“Would saying no stop you?”

“Doubtful.” She gives me a quick glare. “Hire a wedding planner. You can give her basic ideas and then let her do all the hard work. Really all you’ll have to do is show up. In hindsight, I wish I’d hired one.”

“Congratulations, you two. I knew she’d say yes.” Jack’s partner Andy and he are shaking hands.

“You knew?” I ask him, surprised to hear that Jack told anyone. He kept it so quiet I figured no one but him knew.

“I did, and I told him if he didn’t do it, I would.” He laughs at me. “Let’s see the rock.” I hold out my hand, the overhead lights of the bar causing it to glitter. “Wow! No wonder she said yes.”

“I know… I probably should have asked before showing her the ring to know how she really felt.” Jack winks at me, his hand resting on my lower back. Even now, almost four years into our relationship, his touch still sends sparks up my spine.

“You knew my answer long before you asked.” I playfully smack him in the chest.

“We’re gonna be sisters!” Hannah unintentionally presses her boobs against my neck in a giant bear hug. If I was just a tad taller I wouldn’t have to be in constant contact with her chest. “I’m so excited!!”

“Me too, Hannah. It is so exciting!”

“Oh my God…” She stops in her tracks her gaze directed at the bar. “Who is that?”

I follow her gaze across the room to none other than my twin brother. “That’s Emi’s brother, Evan.” Lily says for me.

“Wow… He is—” she glances at me, then back at him. “Gorgeous.”

“OK.” I smile nervously up at Jack. Hannah is not exactly known for her great success with relationships, and neither is my brother. “I can introduce you. In any case, you will practically be family soon.”

“Please do.”

I wave Evan over and Hannah waits, almost patiently. “Ev, this is Jack’s sister Hannah. Hannah, this is my twin brother Evan.”

“You guys are twins?” She glances back and forth quickly like she doesn’t believe a word I just said.

“Unfortunately,” Evan laughs and holds his hand out for Hannah. “It’s great to meet you. I’d love to hear all the dirt on your brother. There’s got to be something to keep him from being as perfect as Emi claims.” When their hands touch, you can almost see the spark between them.

I don’t want to overthink what could happen if Evan and Hannah get too close. But, my fear is that they will add each other to their never-ending lists of one-night-stands. Then they’ll somehow piss each other off, and then we’ll never be able to have family gatherings without some strange tension in the room. How weird would that make things?

“Get me a drink and I’ll show you the pictures that go with the stories.” Hannah flirts, making me a little sick to my stomach.

“Ew… Go do it over there, maybe?” I glance towards an open table and watch Hannah loop her arm through Evan’s and lead him across the room. “And by do it I don’t really mean— “I call after them but Hannah only waves a hand my direction over her shoulder.

“That’s bad news, isn’t it?” I ask Jack who’s still talking to Andy.

“Could be, but they’re grown-ups.”

“Emi, Jack.” Amelia and her husband Robert approach us, dressed to the nines, and looking like this party was meant for them. “Isn’t this just lovely?” Amelia air-kisses each of my cheeks. A gesture I despise. Whenever I see people do the whole air-kiss greeting it looks like they were told to make sure others think they’re getting along, when really they hate each other.

It is lovely, and she would know since she planned the entire thing. I didn’t want to have a party at all. I’m not a huge fan of socializing with a room full of strangers, but she insisted it was the thing to do. Of course, she would pick a swanky downtown bar and hire it out for a private event. Surprisingly the room is full of at least a hundred people, only maybe a dozen of whom I’ve ever met.

“This ring…” Amelia grabs my hand and inspects it like she’s doing an appraisal, “was Jack’s grandmother's ring. Of course, he added a bit of his own touch to it before giving it to you, but still it’s just beautiful and so sentimental. One day you can pass it down to your son.”

“Son?” I choke on my champagne. I’ve only been engaged for three weeks and now his family has me already popping out kids. “I don’t know if a son is in the works for quite some time.”

“Well of course not immediately, let’s get through the wedding first, but I’m sure you will be blessed with the most beautiful of children, don’t you think dear?”

Robert nods his head, chatting with Jack about whatever grown men talk about at engagement parties. I’m not exactly listening because the idea of me being responsible for a child is still swirling through my brain like a tornado.

“Come, dear,” Amelia says. “Introduce me to your family.”

“There’s only a few I’m afraid.” With my parents being gone, only a couple of aunts and uncles and my brother could make it. I don’t know if that makes me look as pathetic as an orphan or not, but it doesn’t raise me up to the Cabot status in life. “Evan…” I say his name before reaching the table he and Hannah are still sharing, hoping that they aren’t already doing the dirty things they are both so known for. “Evan, this is Jack’s mother, Amelia.”

“Evan, look how handsome you are. And you’ve already met my Hannah.” She pats Hannah’s shoulder with a questioning stare before turning her attention back to Evan. “What are your feelings on these upcoming nuptials?”

Evan quickly stands up, following the instructions our father once gave him of standing when a woman approaches your table. He doesn’t hide giving Hannah a somewhat guilty side-eye. “I think Jack and Emi are absolutely perfect for one another, don’t you?”

“I do, actually, they make a rather lovely couple.”

“I’ve no doubt they’ll be very happy together.” Evan smiles with a nod and a glance in my direction for approval. I might have told him to keep things more classy than he normally would, and so far so good. Amelia looks impressed.

“Who else is here that I should meet?” She scans the room, probably looking for faces she’s never seen on her side of town.

“Our aunt Maggie is here, and her brother Melvin is with her.” Evan points in their direction. They are both standing in front of a table of food, probably looking for something not too fancy.

“Let’s go have a meet.” Amelia pulls me along with her like a schoolgirl in trouble. “This is just so exciting, soon we’ll all be family.” She speaks excitedly, which surprises me. Amelia has always treated me like a daughter, but I’ve always felt a tad like she thought Jack could do so much better than normal me, a commoner.

“Aunt Maggie, I’m so glad you came.”

Maggie sets her plate on the table and immediately wraps her arms around me for a hug. Aunt Maggie has always been that eccentric aunt who means the best but sometimes can throw crazy into a completely normal situation. Sometimes I wonder if Aunt Maggie had a hand in naming us. She used to tell us stories about a young Romanian woman coming to live in America after escaping a family who didn’t believe in her connection with the afterlife. Maggie would point to a crystal ball that always sat on a high shelf in her home and tell us stories of their friendship as young girls, and how easily they still chat even though her friend passed on years ago.

“My sweet little Esmeralda. Your mother is so pleased with all this. I’m so sad she’s not here to tell you herself.”

I glance at Amelia, whose eyes are now wide.

“Me too. I’m so glad you’re here, though. I do wish I could tell mom about the proposal. He did it in true Jack style.” I laugh, knowing my mom would know exactly what I was talking about. It was something we used to joke about with Jack’s elaborate ideas and surprises and it was the way he’d first won my parents over. Me too, for that matter. “I’d like to introduce you to Amelia, Jack’s mother. She’s really taken me in like her own.”

“Nonsense, I’ve just done what any mother would do. I’m so sorry about Molly’s passing.”

“Thank you, so are we. I just can’t believe she’s missing all this in person. You’re getting a great girl in Esmeralda, she’s a real sweetheart, a beauty too. She’s got great things ahead of her in life, let me tell you.”

“That she is.” Amelia pats my hand.

“Oh my! Look at this stone.” Uncle Melvin inspects the sparkling rock on my finger, his eyes growing wider by the second. “I wonder what something like that costs?” he asks Aunt Maggie.

“Priceless, it’s a family heirloom.” Amelia corrects him, her face shocked at his question.

“Jack is just a lovely boy, you’ve done a fine job on that one. I’ve no doubt these kids will get past the rough patch.” Maggie compliments Amelia and quickly notices the look of dismay on my face. “I mean… they will get through whatever life throws their way. They’re both such strong-headed kids, they’ll make the right choices in life.”

Amelia nods. “I’m sure they will go far in life. Tell me, though, about the rough patch you mentioned?”

“Oh…” Maggie looks to me momentarily. “It’s just an old saying, every marriage has rough patches, they’re inevitable. I just know these kids will make it through with the right choices.”

Amelia nods in agreement before they start discussing the food.

Leave it to Maggie to throw an accidental psychic reading into the conversation, even though before the party I begged her not to. The last thing I need is her proving to Amelia that I’m far from the normal girl she thinks she knows.

“Have you seen the pile of gifts?” Lily saves me from having to chat about babies with Amelia and Maggie. “It’s insane. I didn’t even know people got these kinds of things at engagement parties.”

“I’ve already had at least five people, whose names I couldn’t even tell you, hand me envelopes with checks in them. It’s crazy!”

The ping of metal against glass grabs both our attention and when we turn I see Jack standing at the front of the room waving me up to him. “Gotta go.” I whisper to Lily and make my way through the crowd to him.

“If you haven’t met her yet, this is Emi, my beautiful bride-to-be.” He smiles sweetly at me before turning back to the crowd. “I want to thank you all for celebrating our engagement with us. It means so much that you’re all here. I hope you’ll join me in toasting Emi and me in our journey towards the altar.” Jack turns to me taking my hand in his. “I want to thank you, Emi, for two things. The first is for saying yes, and the second, the most important, is for allowing me to experience what the saying All you need is Love really means. You’ve truly changed my world for the better and I can’t wait to become your husband.”

A unanimous “Ah” fills the room and I quickly wipe the tears trying to escape from my eyes. Thankfully he knows just how bad at speeches I am, and he gives me no opportunity to talk through the kiss he’s planted on me in front of a room full of strangers clapping.

Chapter Nine

Present Day

Downtown Portland, Oregon

The Rehearsal

“Is he coming tonight?” Lily corners me in the kitchen after everyone has finally disappeared to their rooms to get ready for the rehearsal dinner.

“Yes, Liam is coming to everything wedding-related, as if he came here with me for that exact purpose. Is it weird?”

“I don’t think so. As far as I know everyone else is a couple, so it would probably be weird for you if you didn’t have a date.”

“Here’s the thing, though…” I glance around the doorway to make sure no one is within hearing distance. “He didn’t really even hesitate to say yes, is that weird?”

“Maybe a little.” Lily shrugs her shoulders. “But that is exactly what you wanted, so I don’t know why you’re over-thinking it now?”

“Right. I don’t know why, I’m just nervous I think.”

“Maybe you’re nervous because since Jack you’ve only dated a handful of men and it’s never gone further than the first date.” Lily rolls her eyes.

In my defense, I just haven’t found a guy I like. It’s not like I’m some undatable freak. I’ve been asked out on second dates, I just never really feel like going. Why waste my time on someone I know isn’t right?

“What?!” Hannah appears from virtually nowhere and is staring at me through a shocked face. “You’ve not dated since Jack?” Her voice is all high-pitched again. Why does the only person that catches me in untruthful moments seem to always be Hannah?

“No, that’s not what I—” Lily tries to save me from her accidental announcement but it’s too late.

“I heard what you said. It’s been two years; how can you only have had a few first dates?” Her jaw drops open momentarily before she pulls her hand to her mouth with a gasp. “You still love him!”

“No, Hannah, I don’t.”

“Yes you do. That’s the only thing that would explain all this. You ran away from the barbecue the other night, you drank yourself sick at my bridal shower and you and Greta have been literally acting like jealous high-school girls ever since you found out she was engaged to Jack. You’re still in love with him.” She sighs, and paces between Lily and me. “Ems, this could change everything. Like, everything. You have to tell him.” She stops in front of me and grabs hold of both my shoulders. “Seriously, you need to tell him how you feel.”

“I am not in love with your brother, Hannah. Did he leave an everlasting scar? Yes. Did he break my heart into pieces more than once? Yes. Do I still love him?” I stall with my answer, not intentionally. I just don’t have one yet. I’ve tried to work out my feelings and it’s not as easy as one might assume. I want to be over Jack, trust me, I do. I just… can’t. “No. No. I don’t, I just didn’t expect to get here and find him engaged to my arch-enemy.”

They both give me an unsure stare. “What? I can have an arch-enemy, can’t I? She’s an absolute bitch. And you can’t tell me that you’ve never thought it too.” I point straight at Hannah, who frowns but doesn’t disagree. “I am not in love with Jack. In fact, I have a date tonight, and to the wedding.”

“He said yes?” Hannah asks, like it surprises her. Really, though, it only surprises me. I forgot she knew about that. Otherwise I might not have called it a date. It’s more of an arrangement.

“Of course, he said yes.” Lily defends me. “Look at her… She’s gorgeous.”

“Enough kissing ass for the spot of best friend. I have to get ready to wow him.” I give Lily a playful, almost not serious, glare.

“Which him, Em? The stand-in, or Jack?” Hannah purses her lips together, her face scrunched into a silent you can’t deny it look.

She thinks she knows me so well. Damn it! I wish I was a faster thinker when I need to be. But of course I’m tongue-tied. Hannah’s question is the exact question even I’ve refused to answer for the last twenty-four hours. “I don’t know yet.”

“Told you,” she snaps at me.

“UUUGGHH,” I moan to Hannah with an eye roll. “I’ll be down when I’m ready,” I say, in my most irritated voice.

“Wow! You are going to turn some heads.” Lily greets me in the hallway as I walk out of the wedding room carrying my dress that was sharing a bag with a few other options. “Isn’t that the dress?”

It is, and she knows it enough that she didn’t even have to ask. Jack picked this dress out, we even got engaged while I was wearing this dress. He’s unzipped it and watched it drop to the floor more than once. “Maybe,” I respond, really not wanting to get into the whole reason of why I’m wearing it. “I just… Well, if he’s moved on and happy then I really don’t have any way of making him miserable. Unless I wear a dress that I know makes him swoon.”

“Your grand plan now is to make him suffer by realizing he’s still attracted to you?”

“Maybe.”

I’m just glad I brought the dress. Nothing else has really worked out in my favor thus far.

“OK. And how on earth is that ever gonna fit?”

“Is that a subtle way to call me fat?” I glare at her.

“That’s not what I’m saying and you know it,” she snaps back.

“I may or may not have had it altered before we left. OK?”

“Ok…” Lily says it slowly, “Now even I’m curious to know the answer to Hannah’s question.”

“You and me both,” I say to Lily, wondering if my head and heart can ever just get along and agree.

I wasn’t planning on trying to get to Jack by wearing the dress tonight. I wasn’t planning to wear it at all. It was one of those last-minute ideas I had and the reason I missed the original bridesmaid’s dress alteration. I went to have this dress altered, instead of the other. Thank God I did it early, because it took a few days for the woman to practically remake the entire dress to fit my new larger figure, without adding any super-cinching underwear underneath. I needed a secret weapon, just in case. I paid almost as much for the alterations as I did when I bought the dress.

But, now that I’m in it, it was well worth it. Even though I’m thirty pounds heavier than the last time I wore it, it still looks incredible. Jack won’t know what hit him.

“Hey, Em?” Lily calls to me from the bottom of the stairs.

“I’m almost ready!” I call back, trying to do a few last-minute adjustments.

The tap on my door a few minutes later reminds me that I can’t spend forever putting myself together. “Come on in Lil, I’m just about ready.”

The door swings opened and my brother walks in. “You’ve been up here an hour…”

“I know, sorry.”

“Wow. I know my job is to make sure you are properly tormented as my sister but, you look great.”

I smile at him, surprised he’s given me a true compliment as opposed to his normal back-handed ones. “Thank you, Ev. You look great yourself.” He’s wearing a suit, his hair is slicked back and he looks the complete opposite of my normal, casual, chuck-wearing brother.

“I understand your friend agreed to…” His eyebrows narrow in confusion and he shrugs his shoulders at me. “I guess I don’t quite get why you need him, but he’s here.”

“Because I’m the only without a date, and the only one who needs to at least look like I have my life together. I can’t keep showing up alone, it makes it seem like I’m not over Jack.” I grab my bag off the bed and pull on my shoes.

“Right, and bringing a stranger to my wedding does that?”

“It might.” I say, with one more glance in the mirror.

“If it makes the next couple of days easier for you, I’m good with it.” He smiles at me, though I know he’s mad at me. I know these few sentences between us don’t seem like much, but we’re twins. There is an unspoken conversation here that says everything we haven’t said out loud. He’s not happy about me being so back and forth, but he’s willing to overlook it since he’s partially responsible for making my week miserable by asking Jack to be one of his groomsmen.

“Thanks,” I say, as my way of saying apology accepted. “Let’s go and hope there are no more incidents you will need to write down.” I wink at him. Seriously though, please, please let there be no more incidents. I don’t know who’s in charge of that department. God? Or maybe Karma? But whoever it is, please give me some kind of break.

As I get to the top of the stairs I hear Liam talking to Lily and Josh. I try to peek at him before he sees me, but I’m too short to see over the balcony for that. One more deep breath and I’ll be ready to go.

“Come on, Emi.” Hannah exits her room at the end of the hall, her arm linked through Evan’s and the two of them looking completely ready to walk down the aisle. Even if it is only practice for tonight. “You look fabulous!” she says excitedly.

“So do you, just gorgeous.” I return her compliment.

“I know.” She does a small twirl before taking my brother’s arm once again. “Let’s go see your date.”

I follow her to the top of the stairs, way more nervous than I had expected. Why am I nervous? This is basically a business deal. Favor for favor. Liam smiles up at me from where he’s standing.

“Whoa,” he says, wide-eyed.

He’s wearing a pair of black slacks, a nice gray shirt, and a tie. His normally ruffled hair is now slicked over to the side and I’m only just noticing the tattoos showing below his rolled-up sleeves. Which, I’ll admit, is a little bit of an unexpected turn-on.

“Whoa to you too,” I say back to him, feeling more than awkward that everyone in the room is watching us. I haven’t felt this weird about a date since I went to prom in my senior year. If someone pulls out a camera I’ll just die.

He approaches me and quickly kisses my cheek. “I don’t know if I can compete with you, though. You are gorgeous.” I hear Lily awe sarcastically behind me and shoot her a look of death.

“Sounds good.” Evan claps his hands. “Looks like everyone, invited or not, is ready to go.” He ushers us all out of the front door and towards a black limo parked at the curb.

Liam is so close behind me that I can feel my heart nervously drop a little further into my stomach with each step. “So, how are we playing this?” he breathes into my ear, making my brain momentarily stall with any rational or pure thoughts. “Am I boyfriend status, or just a random friend date status?”

I step off the curb behind the limo and pull Liam with me. “Um… I’m not sure exactly what I’m expecting as an outcome quite yet, so I was hoping just random friend date status?”

“Maybe we see what happens? Let’s feel out the situation and see how it goes before we make any solid decisions.”

“Ok.” I nod my head and head towards the door.

“What are you two doing?” Evan asks me as we crawl into the limo.

“Whispering sweet nothings to each other?” Josh adds his two cents, getting a glare from me.

“Nothing, I just… uh—”

“I just wanted to tell her again how gorgeous she looked. My bad. So, introduce me to everyone.”

“Right. So this is Evan and Hannah, the bride and groom.”

Liam reaches out and shakes hands with both of them. “Congratulations to you both, and thank you for letting me escort the second most beautiful woman in the limo.” He nods to Hannah, who immediately projects her inner Southern Belle by blushing and fanning herself.

“And this is my best friend Lily and her husband, Josh.”

“Nice to meet you, Josh. You and Evan are both very lucky men.” He shakes both their hands with a smile before turning back to me, his eyes smiling with far too much enthusiasm.

“What do you do, Liam?” Evan, of course, is the first one to pile on the questions.

“I own Old Tex, the bar up the street. Just bought it about a month ago. It’s kind of a dive bar right now, but I’m hoping to turn it into something a little cooler than that.”

“Ah… And why are you helping my sister?”

“Evan!” I hiss at him, mortified that he’d act like a douche about this.

“Your sister…” He glances over at me with a smile. “She’s a sweet girl, a damsel in distress, you could say. How could I say no?”

“So, I guess I don’t understand the plan?” Evan asks. Clearly he was blowing smoke up my ass upstairs with the whole if it makes you happy line.

“So, you all know our arrangement?” Liam looks at me for a little insight.

“No,” I blurt out before noticing Evan’s eyebrows rise. “I mean yes, they know why you’re coming.” Please, Liam, don’t talk about how it’s in exchange for a favor though. Evan’s mind will go right to the gutter. I plead with him silently and hope he really is as good at reading people as he was the other night.

“We just don’t really know, why. Why did you agree to it?” Hannah follows up.

“Guys, this isn’t a Dateline interview. Can you give the guy a break? He’s here so maybe Jack, Greta and I can be a little more comfortable in the same room, that’s all.” I glare at Hannah and Evan who both shrug their shoulders.

“So, tell me about you two.” Liam smoothly changes the subject “How did all this come to be?”

It takes the entire ride to the wedding venue for Evan and Hannah to tell Liam their love story. Which gives me a chance to try and stop sweating from all the wrong areas.

“He is actually cute!” Lily grabs my arm the moment I leave the limo and walks me into the building, with Josh, Evan and Liam all chatting behind us. “I think he might really like you.”

“Stop it. This is just a favor, nothing more.”

“We’ll see…”

“Fabulous!” A woman with far too much botox in her face claps her hands the moment we walk out of the elevator. “We have wedding party members arriving, and right on time!”

“Hi, Muffy!” Hannah greets Botox Lady with the dreaded air-kisses, while Lily and I mouth the name Muffy to each other and stifle back a giggle.

“We are just waiting for a few more members of the wedding party,” she tells Hannah before they walk away from us inspecting the ongoing decorating. Evan’s phone starts breathing like Darth Vader, a ringtone only a fifteen-year-old would choose, and considering we are waiting for the rest of the wedding party and have nothing else to do, we all watch him answer it.

“She is?” he says. “Right, well I totally understand, don’t worry about it at all.” He taps his phone screen and glances around at us. “Shit. Lane’s wife’s gone into labor. He can’t make the wedding tomorrow.”

From across the room, botoxed Muffy has somehow heard this and is marching our direction, her heels clacking loudly against the floor. “What is this? A rogue groomsman the day before the wedding?”

“I guess so, yes.” Evan nods his head in her direction.

“No, no, no, we can’t have uneven numbers.” She glances around at us and catches sight of Liam. “What about this handsome young man? I can arrange a tuxedo at short notice, I’ll just grab his measurements.” She walks over to him and inspects him too closely for his comfort.

“Uh…” Liam backs away from Muffy’s groping hands.

“I’m in a pinch. Is that something you would consider?” Evan asks him. “I know we don’t know each other, but you seem cool enough and my sister seems to like you.”

Liam glances at me for approval and I shrug my shoulders. “If you want to I’m good with it.”

“All right, I mean what the hell, I was going to be here tomorrow anyway right? Now I can walk you down the aisle.” He looks at me during the last sentence but our moment is interrupted by Muffy’s obnoxious clapping again.

“Perfect! And here is the rest of our party now.”

I turn to look at Hannah’s parents, a few of the bridesmaids and groomsmen from the barbecue the other night, and Jack and Greta. Greta glares at me, all the while hanging off Jack like a cancerous tumor. Jack's eyes meet mine almost immediately, before he looks me over with an almost awkward forced smile that never quite reaches his eyes. This is not the Jack I knew. He looks defeated. I’ve not really let myself spend a lot of time looking at him since I got here, and I wish I hadn’t right now either.

Here I was, expecting him to swoon at the fact that I’m wearing his favorite dress, and his expression is more like he’s just looked into the open coffin of a friend who’s passed on. I force a small smile in his direction but he only looks away.

“Before we get started, I think the bride and groom have some gifts they want to hand out.” A man walks towards us with a rolling cart full of gift bags.

“We do,” Hannah says, as Evan hands a bag to everyone, Liam included. “Evan had these specially made for his groomsmen, but please don’t devour them right now. Maybe later, or even take them home.”

“And I… had these made up this morning and I think you all should put them on right now for rehearsal. It’ll be fun!” Her giddy smile tells me these gifts are either expensive or embarrassing, or quite possibly both.

I watch as other girls start pulling black t-shirts out of their bags. “Oh my God! This is so funny… I love it!” One of the other bridesmaids pulls the shirt on, and I’m immediately afraid to look at my own.

“The Bridesmaids…” Hannah points to the front before having the girl turn around. “I’m the sweet one…” She giggles. “Aren’t they cute!?”

“Which one are you?” Liam leans over quietly asking in my ear.

“I’m afraid to look.” I hold the gift bag tightly against my chest, afraid to pull out my shirt and see what title I’ve been given. All the other girls are pulling their t-shirts on. So far, I see THE SWEET ONE, THE FUNNY ONE, THE LATE ONE, and Greta’s says THE QUESTIONABLE ONE. When I glance at Hannah she smirks at Greta’s shirt. Apparently, all the information I’ve given her this week has made her question Greta’s role in anything.

“Come on Emi, it’s fun. Put yours on.”

I reluctantly pull the shirt out of the bag and turn it to read the back before anyone else can. Shit. It would be just my luck that she’s chosen my weak spot as my title. Thankfully she didn’t choose THE CONFUSED ONE or THE STILL-LOVES-JACK ONE.

“Read it out loud, Ems,” Hannah encourages me.

“Um— THE DRUNK ONE…” I say aloud, and immediately hear Evan burst into a laugh.

“It’s just a joke,” Hannah says to Evan. “Put it on!”

I glance at Lily and Josh behind me before looking at Liam again who has a strange, almost smile on his face. “Fine.” I pull the t-shirt on over my dress and do a spin so everyone can see.

“She got that one spot on, didn’t she?” Greta announces to the room with a laugh before being elbowed in the ribs by Jack. “What?”

“Quiet!” Muffy claps us into silence. “Enough nonsense, let’s get started!!”

“Wait!” Hannah interrupts her quickly, scurrying to her side in the center of the room. “We have one more thing to do.” Evan walks up behind her with two white sashes hanging over his arm. “We haven’t really announced who our Maid of Honor and Best Man are, we wanted it to be a surprise, so…” We all watch her take the sashes from Evan.

“As Evan’s Best Man he chose the guy who he’s been the closest to for so many years, a man who actually helped bring us together so long ago.” She walks up to Jack and puts the sash over his head like he’s just won some sort of beauty pageant, straightening it so the words Best Man lie across his chest.

“Thanks for always being there,” Evan says to him. Finally, I see Jack smile as he walks over to hug my brother.

“And… my Maid of Honor… This was really hard for me, but the last few days really made it clear who it should be. Because of you, this day is even happening and I couldn’t ever be more thankful for that.”

When she’s directly in front of me I feel myself shaking my head. “Hannah, I can’t walk down the aisle with—” I whisper, but she purses her lips and glares with an intensity I can almost feel.

“Emi, I chose you as my Maid of Honor because after today we’ll be sisters forever.” The sash is slung around my neck and straightened to show the glittery pink Maid-Of-Honor squarely across my chest.

“Thanks, Hannah.” I force myself to not be a pain in the ass, and hug her as lovingly as possible.

Muffy claps. “Now that the awards ceremony is over let’s get to rehearsal.”

“Wow… this is quite the wedding already,” Liam says next to me.

“This is bad.” I glance around the room looking for Lily but since she and Josh are only guests and not wedding party, they’ve moved to the seating area and are both scrolling through their phones.

“Why’s it bad?” Liam asks me.

“Because, the Maid of Honor walks down the aisle with the Best Man.”

“I take it the Best Man is the guy who broke your heart?”

“Yes, Jack.” I watch Liam rub his neck for a moment, his face somber and staring into space. When his hand touches mine a spark of electricity moves quickly all the way to my brain.

“Then everything considered, I think my status is now boyfriend status.” And in a moment too quick for me to even process the words he just said, his arm is around my back, he’s pulled me against him and his lips meet mine. I melt… like literally; my knees go weak and I don’t pull away. I can’t, the last time someone kissed me, it was Jack. My head and my heart are in a war and right now my brain is on strike, fizzing like champagne.

“OK, OK… Enough with the love scene.” Muffy’s stern voice causes us both to pull away but Liam's hand doesn’t leave my back. When I glance around the room, all eyes are on us. Hannah’s mouth is hanging open through a huge awkward smile and Jack’s face is much the opposite of hers. “Hannah and Robert to the back of the room, Best Man and Maid of Honor in front of them…”

Hannah skips to me and slips her arm through mine, pulling me from Liam’s touch and towards the back of the room with her.

“Oh my God. So, what is this then?” She tries to be quiet, but I’m sure he just heard her.

“Shhhh… Hannah. I don’t know. He just… kissed me.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“And was it good?” She raises an eyebrow at me.

“What? This isn’t a sleepover where we talk boys. I don’t know what it was. It was, uh…” We stop at the back of the room. The only person there is Robert, who isn’t listening anyway. “It was surprising.”

“I bet! He’s cute, but, are you sure you want this?”

“It’s nothing. It’s just an act, remember?”

“Right…” Her gaze moves to my side, and when I glance round Jack is quietly standing there waiting for us to drop into walking orders. “Right,” she says again, walking away from me towards her father.

“Emi.” Jack voice is unemotional, and he doesn’t look in my direction at all.

“Jack.” I match his tone in return, not really knowing what else to say.

“You look beautiful, as always.” He finally looks down at me with a hesitant shy smile. “Who’s the guy?” He glances at Liam at the front of the line.

I look up at Liam only to discover that he is paired with none other than Greta. She’s got a firm hold of Liam’s arm and is giggling at whatever he’s said in the same way she leeches onto Jack.

“Just a friend,” I answer. How does this dreadful woman keep weaseling her way close to men I know?

“A friend you make out with?” He looks down at me with a disapproving look on his face.

“So? Why do you care?” I ask him, wondering what his motive is for drilling me on a man I’m with, considering he’s here with his fiancée.

“I don’t. I just wasn’t aware you brought anyone, that’s all.”

“Well, we are broken up, so why would I tell you?”

He sighs heavily. “Listen…” He turns to me, this time looking more sad than angry. “I’m not worried about your new guy. I’m worried about you.”

“Why are you worried about me?”

“I just am, Ems. I always have been; you know that.”

“When the music starts,” Muffy yells from midway up the room, “you are to count to three and then take your groomsman’s arm and start slowly walking up the aisle.” I glance up and see Liam and Greta now deep in conversation, and worry a tiny bit that some time between now and tomorrow night, this whole act might end up blown.

“We need to talk,” Jack whispers, holding out his elbow for me.

“We don’t.” I refuse to take his elbow before absolutely necessary.

His sigh says what he’s thinking without him needed to say it. “Ems, please, I just want to say what should have been said two years ago. Can I have at least that?”

“No.” I finally take his elbow with a glare.

“Fine.” We both take a step forward. “I’ll say it right now then.”

“What?” I say, a little louder than intended, and see Greta turn to us from midway up the aisle. “Jack, no.”

“I never cheated on you.”

I roll my eyes and take another step forward.

“That day, I know it looked bad, but it wasn’t the way it looked.”

“Stop.” I look up at his sad face. “Just stop. I’ve heard all this before, but I know what I saw.”

“You don’t, though, and you need to know this.” His eyes plead with me, and for the first time since I’ve been here I see a tiny bit of the Jack I knew and loved.

“Can we STOP the conversation back there and pay attention!?” Muffy yells back at us, her finger waving from across the room and silencing us both, which honestly is a relief on my part.

Another step forward but Jack leans closer to me. “We will talk this week, whether you like it or not,” he whispers into my ear, his breath making the hair on my neck stand straight up.

Chapter Ten

Four Years Ago

Cancun, Mexico

The Wedding of Lily & Josh

“So why did you choose a combined bachelor/bachelorette party? How will Josh have strippers if we’re there?” I ask Lily, who still has the curling iron in her hair even though we were supposed to meet the guys at the bar twenty minutes ago.

“Because it’s fun, there will be no strippers, and we’re all friends. So why not?”

“Got it. I just hope this burrito I ate earlier doesn’t make another appearance soon.”

“What, you’re sick?”

“Not sick, yet, just… iffy.” I wasn’t going to tell her this at all and just hope it passed. Literally.

“Well, hold it together.”

When she’s finally ready we walk the few blocks from our hotel down to the bar where this magical event is to take place. I probably shouldn’t have worn heels this high for this much walking, but I hate looking an entire foot shorter than Jack.

“Wow! This place is busy!” People are spilling out of the front doors, laughing, drinking and just overall partying. “Come on.”

We push our way through the crowd and look around the busy bar for the rest of our party. Someone waving from the private balcony above grabs my attention, and I look up and see Evan.

“They’re up there.”

“Perfect! We wanted to get the balcony but weren’t sure we could at such short notice.” We squeeze through a crowd full of scantily-clad half-naked bodies towards the stairs, and the man guarding the VIP rope nods towards us without a word while letting us through.

“It’s so hot in here,” I yell to Lily over the music, following her to the top.

“It’s Mexico, Ems. It’s always hot.”

It’s so hot that I think my hair is sweating, but I continue up the stairs and hope there is air conditioning in the VIP room.

“Finally! What took you so long?” Jack greets me with a smile.

“Lily… She just had to look perfect.” I glance across the room at her and Josh already making out in a corner by themselves. “I’m not sure why we are having a party to watch them have sex in public. It’s kinda gross.”

“They’re not gonna have sex. That would be disgusting.” Evan takes a swig of his beer. “We leave disgusting to me, remember?” He winks at the only other bridesmaid that made the trek from Oregon to Mexico.

“No, Lily will be pissed if you screw her cousin.”

“Lily will never know.” He and Jack both laugh and glance at me. “Right?”

“I know you have like zero morals about this stuff, just don’t do it here, please?” I beg Evan to try and keep it in his pants, but I know he’ll never listen. He never does.

“I got you a drink.” Jack points at the Cosmo on the table in front of him.

I take a giant slurp, hoping it doesn’t go to war and piss off the burrito from earlier. “Please promise me that if we ever were to get married that we won’t have bachelor/bachelorette parties.”

“Promised. Really aren’t they just an excuse to do something dirty right before the wedding?”

I glance back and Josh and Lily, still making out. “I thought so, but apparently, in this case, it’s just to make the rest of us feel dirty.”

“They’re just in love.” Jack smirks over at them. “Dirty love.” His scrunched-up disgusted face matches my own, even through our laughter at his joke.

You can only drink in a hundred-degree room for so long before you feel like you’re going to have a stroke. An hour was about all it took for us decide to take our party outside to the beach.

“Where’s Josh?” Lily asks after she finally realizes he’s not lying on the sand with us.

“Maybe he went to get another drink?” Jack says, without moving from his star-gazing position.

“Evan’s gone too, so I’m sure that’s where they are.” I glance around at the indentations that held all six of us just thirty minutes ago. “Wait…” I sit up and glance around again. I may be seeing doubles of things, but I know I’m missing a complete person here. “Corinne is gone too.”

“Yes, as close as she and Evan were getting in the bar I’d say—” Jack groans suddenly, probably because of my elbow in his ribs. “I mean…”

“What? Evan is with Corinne?”

“No.” I quickly denounce the idea of Lily’s engaged cousin Corinne doing anything she shouldn’t with my brother. “Maybe she went back to the hotel? I’m sure Evan is with Josh.”

“Let’s go.” Lily jumps up but stumbles backward, catching herself on a nearby lounger. “Your brother will not screw another one of my friends, or family members.”

“Come on Lil…” Jack is slurring his words, which is a rare occasion and I’m sure is only happening because absolutely no one from his family or job is even in the same country as us right now. “Evan has always had a way with the ladies, you know that.” The perverted tone coming from my boyfriend is somewhat disturbing. “It’s not like he forces them to have sex with him. They just do.”

“Nice.” She glances at Jack with a glare. “It’s good to know you lost your gentleman status at my wedding.”

“I didn’t lose anything. I’m just sworn to the truth right now because I’ve had way too much to drink today.”

“Don’t fight! Let’s just go find Josh and Evan,” I say, trying to sound as motherly as possible. Wrangling a couple drunks to get along is about as effective as herding a flock of seagulls.

“And Corinne,” Lily adds, like I had forgotten her.

“Yes, Corinne too.”

“There are at least five bars between here and our hotel, so we’re gonna go search them all?”

“That’s right. And no more to drink for you.” Lily points directly at Jack.

“Or for me,” I say, hoping that the acid bubbling in my throat is just heartburn and not the attempted reappearance of the previously mentioned burrito.

The first bar we walk into appears to be a dirty dive bar. It’s so dark you can hardly see a few people ahead of you, and there is a band playing with strobe lights so the thirty minutes we search is completely pointless. I couldn’t even find the bathroom in that place, let alone a person.

“I think this is an after-hours bar.” Jack glances around the next one, his eyes as big as saucers. On the bar are three mostly-naked women (I’m not sure if sequined barely-there underwear count as clothing) dancing in heels so high it hurts me just to look at them.

“Do you see them?” Lily yells over the swanky music playing overhead. I shake my head, trying to avoid eye contact with every woman walking around in nothing but a bikini bottom. “I’m going to ask the bartender,” she shouts.

“Jack and I will wait outside.” I turn to grab Jack but he’s nowhere to be seen. “Shit.” Maybe he already went outside? It is packed in here, and he’s not exactly thinking straight this evening. Of all the places to lose him, why did it have to be at the topless bar?

I shove my way through the crowd and reach the sidewalk only to see Jack sitting on a bench out front. A nearly-naked, definitely topless woman is sitting next to him and giggling at whatever it is he’s just said to her. Jack is sitting as far from her as possible, while not falling off the bench completely.

“Jack!”

“Ems, I was just asking this lady if she’d seen them.” He jumps up, as fast as one can when they are drunk, and grabs my hand. “I founnd hher,” he slurs to the lady, who is now looking at the two of us and being less giggly than she was a moment earlier.

“They haven’t seen them.” Lily comes up behind us looking more than frazzled. “This is the worst party ever!” Her voice quivers when she says it, cuing me to what is coming next.

“Please don’t cry,” I say, as tears start to roll down her cheeks. “Maybe they got confused and went back to the hotel?”

“Lessh go check,” Jack slurs into my face, causing me to fan the beer smell away from me.

“How about we don’t breathe directly onto one another?”

“Deal.” He reaches down and grabs my hand, pulling it up to kiss it, missing on the first try but nailing it on the second. “Sssee… Shtill a gentleman.”

“Come on.” I lead him down the street by his hand, my shoes in my other hand. “I’m sure they’re at the hotel,” I say to Lily, but she’s no longer standing next to me. “Lil?” I call out. “For Christ’s sake, can we stop losing people, already?” I turn to Jack who is pointing just past me.

“Ssshe went that way.”

I turn to follow his finger but she’s not there.

“Great. How did I end up the soberest out of all of us?” I look over at Jack’s goofy smile.

“I know, normally that’sh me.”

“I like it better that way.” I frown at my grown man-child stumbling along next to me, staring at the sky instead of where he’s walking.

“I need to ssssit,” Jack announces suddenly, lurching towards a giant palm bush and retching all that he’s drank in the last hour.

I drop my head back and sigh. “Let’s lie down for a few.” I help him to the beach just a few feet away, steering him towards a lounger and making sure he’s not going to fall off before settling myself in the one next to him.

The sky in Mexico really is gorgeous at night. The moon reflects off the ocean in a way that almost makes it so bright you feel like it’s not night time at all. The breeze is nice, and I can’t help but fall in love with the whole tropical atmosphere. Even though I’m babysitting my drunken boyfriend and all my friends are missing, there is something romantic about this spot.

“Jack?” Sort of checking to see if he’s still alive.

He mumbles something to me.

“If we ever get married I want to do it here, without everyone we know. It’s just… so much easier than all the fuss of a wedding.”

Jack only groans over at me. I’m kind of glad he doesn’t totally understand me right now, because we haven’t talked about marriage at all. We’ve been together for three years and not once has he hinted that we should get married. He’s always so focused on the next step in his career that I don’t think it’s honestly even on his mind.

Our relationship is great, so why change it? But with my friends getting married I’m starting to feel a little left out. I mean… I’m 26 years old; I feel like this is the marrying age if there was one. I’ve no doubt that Jack is the one, so maybe I should mention it… preferably when he’s not puking in the sand next to me.

“Ems…” Jack groans at me, causing me to jerk awake and try to figure out where I am. “Why are we on the beach?”

It’s not as dark as it was when we sat down here so I pull my phone out of my pocket to check the time. 4.33 am. We’ve been lying out here since just after 1 am and we must’ve fallen asleep.

“We stopped because you were sick, remember? We can head back to our room. Do you feel OK?”

“No… But I can make it back.” He sits up and glances at me, his dark hair falling across his forehead. “I think this is the first time I’ve been this drunk.”

“In front of me for sure.”

“Well, that’s a change,” he laughs, as I try and pull him off the chair.

“That it is.”

“I had a dream that we got married.” His smile is faint, but his eyes are locked onto mine. He must’ve heard me earlier. “We got married right here, with the moon in the background.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, it was…” he stops walking, obviously searching for a word to use. “Beautiful.” He looks at me again. “Just like you.”

How could I not be happy to hear that?

“Thanks, Jack. Let’s get back.”

I slide the hotel card key into the suite we are all staying in and watch the flash of the green light before the door pops open and Jack pushes his way through like a bull in a china shop. “Hello, bed,” he says as he walks down the hall to our room.

“Let me just make sure everyone got back,” I say, watching him fall face first into our bed.

I quietly knock on Corinne’s door. She doesn’t answer so I crack the door open to make sure she’s at least in bed. She is… But so is Evan. Obviously they have been up to no good, considering I’m standing on their clothes near the doorway.

“Evan!” I whisper, poking him in the back. “EVAN!”

“What?” He groans, opening one eye.

“Get back in your room or Lily will kill you when she gets up. What is wrong with you? Corinne is engaged!”

“So… It’s not like we’re the ones getting married tomorrow.”

“Just go!” I toss his clothes at him and watch him kick off the blankets, hold his wad of clothes over his nether-regions and tiptoe back to his room across the hall. “Not a word of this to anyone!”

“Whatever, Mom.” His door clicks shut behind him.

I glance in at Jack, who isn’t moving but has somehow managed to strip himself and is now lying completely naked on top of the covers, his bare ass exposed to anyone looking in the wall of windows.

“Lil?” I crack her door enough that the light shines directly onto the bed, giving me the perfect vision of her and Josh doing things I never wanted to imagine they did. “OH MY GOD.”

“EMI!” Lily yells and tosses a pillow my direction.

“Sorry,” I yell through the crack, quickly shutting the door behind me. “Shit.” I race into my room, shut the door, and close the curtains so Jack doesn’t gain a crowd when it’s light outside.

Right, then it hits me: not the alcohol, the burrito. I barely make it to the bathroom before the burrito and everything I’ve drank tonight decides to make an appearance.

I don’t remember sleeping the next few hours on the bathroom floor but I’m awoken by Jack, using the toilet in the same way I last remember using it.

“I’m never drinking again,” he moans, lying down next to me. “Why are you in here?”

“Bad burrito last night.” We both lie on the floor for the next hour until Jack finally feels well enough to take a shower and get dressed.

“Wedding is in eight hours.” He stands at in the doorway looking as handsome as ever in his cargo shorts and a white t-shirt. It’s like he didn’t just have the first hangover of his life.

“I’m so sick,” I cry from the floor, wishing I’d never have gone to that burrito stand with Evan yesterday. “Is Evan sick?” He’d better be; it’s only fair.

“I dunno, sweetie. I’ll go get you some aspirin and find out.”

I hear the door open a few minutes later, but it’s not Jack’s flip-flops in front of me, it’s Evan’s chucks. “What the hell? Jack said you’re sick from the burrito yesterday?”

“You’re not?”

“Nope… I feel great.”

“You’re a disgusting human being.” I push his calf in an attempt to force him out of my bathroom.

“Why’s that?”

“Because you screw everything.”

“Oh, come on now… not everything, I have some standards.” His sly smile makes me feel even sicker.

“I brought you Evan’s hangover cure.” Jack walks in behind Evan. “Come on…” He helps me walk to the bed and sits a tray of burnt toast, juice, and aspirin in front of me. “Eat, and I’m sure you’ll feel better.”

I don’t. I throw up until Lily forces me to get dressed for the wedding. I sit still like a statue while she fixes my hair and makeup and Jack practically carries me to the beach and down the aisle. I’m just glad I make it through the vows, all the while holding the prettiest trash-can Lily could find, my bouquet taped to the front of it, without having to use it. I manage to save that until just after the ceremony. Then miraculously, as quickly as it comes on, it’s gone.

“That was a miserable time, wasn’t it?” Jack asks the next morning as we pack up our bags to go home.

“Yes. I hope I didn’t ruin Lily’s day?”

“She’s as happy as she’s ever been, Ems, so it’s safe to say you haven’t.” He walks over to me, pulling me away from my suitcase and out to the balcony with him. “I heard what you said last night about wanting to get married on the beach.”

For a second my heart stops and my ears turn scalding hot. “You did?” Why did I mention it out loud? Every girl knows not to mention marriage first. It only scares guys away.

“I did. I agree… It would be perfect.”

“It would?” My heart is racing in my chest, wondering if he’s going to ask me to marry him.

“Well… Without the food poisoning and the hangover, yes.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know if I’m there quite yet, but it’s definitely an idea for the future.”

My heart sinks a bit, and I have to force my face to not show the disappointment I’m feeling knowing this is not him proposing. Not that I was ever really expecting it, but a girl can dream.

“Definitely a great idea for then.”

Chapter Eleven

Present Day

Downtown Portland, Oregon

The Wedding Day

“Everybody up!” Hannah is storming my room, pulling open the curtains and inviting the rare Portland sunshine to invade my space.

“What time is it?”

“7 am.” She stands next to the bed waiting for me to pull the blankets off my face. “I’m getting married today! We have a ton to do so get up!”

“What do we have to do that can’t get done in the next twelve hours?” She yanks the blankets off me as I say it.

“Just come downstairs and don’t ruin my day.”

She disappears through the door as I sit up on the side of the bed trying to wake up. “What? I’m not even in the wedding party,” Lily objects from her room next door.

I throw on a bra, because when you have C-sized boobs no bra is a no-go, before heading downstairs to the smells of heaven wafting my direction. A man in a black jacket and black chef’s hat greets me with a wave.

“Good Morning, miss. Is there anything I can prepare for you this morning?”

“Prepare for me?”

“Yes, Miss Cabot has hired me to feed you throughout the day. Whatever you’d like I can accommodate.”

“You can make me whatever I want for breakfast?” I ask, knowing this is a bad deal for my imaginary weight loss plan.

“Yes, ma’am.” He nods his head enthusiastically.

“Um… What do you suggest?”

“I have an omelet that most clients love.”

“Let’s do it… And for your information… I love cheese. I’m not one of these dieting girls you normally cook for.”

He smiles, showing all his teeth. “My favorite kind of girl. I’ll bring it out to you as soon as it’s done.” He nods towards the counter filled with everything needed for gourmet coffee or hot chocolate. “Help yourself to some coffee if you’d like.”

“That I will.”

“Oh good, there you are.” Hannah looks panicked already and we’re still many, many hours away from the wedding. “Listen, as soon as you’ve eaten I need you to shower, because the spray tan lady will be here at nine.”

“Spray tan lady?”

“Yeah, you’ve never had one?” She watches me shake my head. “Oh, it’s so cool, she actually brings all the equipment right to the house and does it here. It’s quick and subtle, and when it’s over you’ll glow like you just got back from somewhere tropical.”

I’ve never had a spray tan before, and I’m a little nervous with my natural skintone being not much darker than the color of snow. What if something goes wrong? No, it can’t, people do this all the time with no issues.

“OK,” I say with a shrug of the shoulders, while I pour a little too many coffee flavors into my cup.

By the time I get to the table Mr Chef is following me over with a plate heaped full of cheesey goodness. “Your omelet, Miss.”

“Are you going to eat that?” Greta comes sauntering into the room and takes the chair across from mine. “Do you have any idea how many calories are in something like that?”

“I do, actually.” I nod my head pretending I don’t hate her.

“Those are calories you definitely don’t need.”

“I do, though. I’m not trying to put on a show for the whole world. I actually enjoy life, and food.” I shove a giant forkful of eggs and cheese into my mouth as she watches in disgust.

“No wonder you lost Jack.”

“I didn’t lose him. For your information, I dumped him. If anything, you should be thanking me.”

“Why would I thank you?”

“Because without me, you’d not be wearing my old ring.”

I watch her glance down at her ring and purse her lips together. “Whatever. Where’s Hannah?”

I intentionally fork another pile of eggs into my mouth and shrug my shoulders at her.

“Oh good! May, you’re here. The girl you recommended will be here any minute, maybe you could do your tan first since you’re ready to go?” Hannah glares at me over Greta’s shoulder as if I’m not eating fast enough. Does she honestly think I’m going to rush eating the best omelet I’ve ever tasted? I think not.

“Sure! I’d love to. Isn’t she great?” I watch the two of them walk off together, chit-chatting as if they’ve been best friends forever, leaving me in peace to eat my delicious omelet.

When I’m finally done with my second omelet I head upstairs to attempt the start of getting ready for this wedding. I look through the basket of expensive toiletries Hannah left in my room and grab the shampoo and conditioner before jumping in the shower. I take extra time shaving every part of me that may or may not be exposed today and I can feel my irritation washing away with the conditioner. Maybe all I needed was a good shower? Or maybe it was the omelets.

“Hey Em, Hannah wanted me to—” Lily stops midsentence as I walk out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around my chest.

“To what?”

“What did you do to your hair?”

“Uh, washed it, don’t act so surprised.”

“With what?” Her face is anything but amused by my sharp wit.

“What do you mean? Shampoo… Actually, I used the stuff Hannah left in here.” I point over at the basket of goodies.

“I don’t think it was shampoo…”

“Why?” I walk past her back into the bathroom and glance in the mirror. “OH MY GOD! Oh my God, what in the holy fuck?” My once dark ash hair is now a muddy purple color.

“What’s wrong?” Hannah walks in, her mouth dropping opened in shock. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything, Hannah, except using the shampoo you gave me.” I point to the basket.

“Why would it do this?” she asks me, getting closer to inspect it.

“I don’t know.”

She grabs the shampoo off the shower shelf and squeezes some into her hand. “It’s purple?”

“Why is it purple?”

“You didn’t notice this while you were showering?”

I watch her squeeze the conditioner into her hand. It is also purple.

“No… I had my eyes closed, and then I was shaving.”

“You shower with your eyes closed?” Lily asks.

“Sometimes, when I’m trying to relax. How do you shower?” I snap at her, wondering why my showering techniques are suddenly to blame for my hair turning purple.

“Beside the point.” Hannah waves at her. “It’s not so terrible, it’s kind of a purply color. When the hairdresser gets here we’ll just have her fix it.” She forces a deep breath, obviously a little more stressed out than she’s letting on.

“Right.” I take a deep breath and glance in the mirror. “Of course, she can fix it.”

“How about right now you go do your tan and then as soon as the hair lady gets here we’ll get your hair fixed?” Hannah is doing her best to stay calm, but her voice keeps cracking when she speaks. I am going to single-handedly completely ruin yet another wedding day.

I walk towards the den where the tanning lady is supposed to be set up. And, of course, right before I walk in, Greta walks out.

“Whoa… New hair for the wedding? It’s an odd day to go purple isn’t it?”

“Funny… Shampoo mishap, that’s all.”

She nods her head and rolls her eyes.

When I walk into the room there is a tall tent and next to it is a contraption with hoses coming out of it. It looks more like a science experiment than a tanning booth.

“Hi, there! And you are?” A perky girl in super-short shorts and a skin-tight sleeveless top turns towards me.

“Emi.”

“Emi! Perfect. I just need you to strip and stand in the tent and do exactly as I say. Have you ever done this before?”

“No.”

“It’s easy-peasy, so no worries there.”

“You want me to strip naked?” I ask, hoping she says no, but fully expecting to hear a yes.

“Don’t worry, I’ve seen it all before.” She waves a hand at me as if there is absolutely nothing to worry about. There is, though. She just did Greta’s tan – and her naked is a tad smaller, and probably smoother, than my naked.

“OK.” I shut the den door, lock it and strip down to nothing. “Just in the tent then?”

“Yup. This is super-quick, maybe ten minutes. Great. I’ll start at your feet and spray upwards so when you feel it on your chest close your eyes lightly and hold your breath for a moment until I’m done with your face. Then I’ll take a second and do another spray then we’ll do your back.”

“Easy enough.” I stand as she instructs me and she starts to spray a cool mist over my skin.

“Is that it?” I ask her ten minutes later.

“Yup.”

“But it didn’t do anything?” I’m still looking at my ghostly-white skin.

“It takes a few hours for it to set in. Don’t worry, you’ll be glowing.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

I walk back towards the food bar, which is the last thing I need but secretly I’m hoping it’s time to eat again. Hannah stops me just short enough to smell everything but not see it. “Delilah is here.”

“Delilah?” I ask, hoping it’s another chef.

“The hair girl. Actually, Heidi is the hair girl but when I told her our problem she called in a backup to take care of just you.”

“Great… I look so terrible I need my own team of beauticians.”

“Not what I mean, she’s setting up in your room. That way no one will wonder why you’re getting special treatment.”

“Is it really special treatment, though, Hannah? Or it is fixing a problem that might ruin your wedding?”

“Just go,” she barks at me, clearly stressed with all that’s going on.

“Delilah?” I walk into my room to see a large woman with a lot of hair setting out all kinds of potions and powders on a rolling cart I’ve never seen before.

“Oh, my… Yup, that’s purple.” She points at the stool set in the middle of my bathroom. “Let’s get started.” She doesn’t waste anytime washing it multiple times, conditioning it, spraying, drying, painting goo on and sealing me up with tinfoil.

“So… What exactly is this?”

“You’re going blonde… I assume you’ve bleached your hair before?”

“Nope. It’s kind of why the purple was such a shock.”

“What kind of shampoo was it?”

“I dunno… Something Hannah gave me, but it was purple.”

“Well, I think you’ll look great as a blonde.”

“It’s really going to be completely blonde?” I stare at my tinfoiled head in the mirror in front of me. Oddly enough it reminds me of the dress I’ll be putting on in a couple hours.

“Hopefully. It looked like the washing got out most of the color, really it was just left in the bottom half of your hair, so this should strip it out.”

Bleaching is not a fast process. I’ve flipped through every magazine I brought with me at least three times while I’ve been wearing this tinfoil hat. My scalp is starting to burn and I don’t know if this smell will ever wash away.

“Let’s check it.” Delilah slowly starts unwrapping a section of my hair while I watch in the mirror. When she gets about six inches down her unwrapping, the foil, complete with the bottom half of my hair, comes away in her hand. “Oh… No.”

“No… No oh-nos. What just happened? Did my hair just fall off?”

“You’re sure you’ve not recently dyed your hair or anything?”

“You mean besides this morning? No. Why?”

“Cause this sometimes happens when people over-color their hair. It will essentially melt off during another color application, and bleach isn’t the easiest thing on hair anyway, so…”

“So, what?! Get it out then!” I yell at her and watch her quickly pull all the tinfoil from my hair. About every third one pulls the bottom half of my hair right off all over my head, leaving me with big jagged shoulder-length spots throughout my hair that is normally almost to my waist.

“Oh my God,” I breathe out as slowly as possible, trying not to have a full-on panic attack and wondering how this day could possibly get any worse. “Now, what?”

“I’m gonna have to cut it.”

“Cut it?! Do you have any idea how long it took me to get it this long?”

“I know, but unless you want to look like this…” She points at one of the worst areas. “I suggest we cut it. It’ll be really cute on you.”

“No!” I jump off the stool and down the hallway. “LILY! HANNAH!” I’m screaming looking into each room I walk past, before I see everyone gathered at the bottom of the stairs. “She melted off my hair! But only some parts, so it looks awful, and now…” I try to take a breath between seethes. “NOW she wants to cut it. But nooo. I want the other girl to do it.” Delilah stands next to me, now looking slightly irritated.

“I can totally cut it.”

“Like you could totally get the purple out? No. You’re on bridesmaid duty now. Send up Heidi!” I shout down the stairs, sending Hannah scrambling along the hall to summon Heidi.

By the time I’m back in my room and sitting on the stool trying not to sob, a tiny woman whom I assume is Heidi walks in looking scared. “Hi, Emi. I’m so sorry about this. Let’s see what we can do.”

I close my eyes as she works, worried about how my wavy hair will look shoulder-length.

“OK,” she says, waking me up from my almost nap, causing me to slowly squint open my eyes afraid of what I’m about to see. The blonde surprises me but it’s kind of cute, it’s in layers with the longest layer being just below my shoulders and she’s curled my waves into loose curls. “Do you hate it?”

“No. I actually like it.”

“Unfortunately, all the purple didn’t come out, so there are still tiny streaks of lavender, but it looks intentional.”

“You are a lifesaver!” I jump off the stool and even to my surprise I pull Heidi in for a hug. “Thank you!” I run down the stairs and into a room filled with dresses and makeup ladies. “She did it.”

“Oh my God… Look how cute that is on you! You look like a whole new Emi!” Lily touches my hair with a huge smile on her face. “I seriously love it.”

“Me too!” Hannah nods her head in approval. “Now you can relax for a few until we have a spot for you to have your makeup done.”

“Nope, I’ll be doing my own makeup thank you. After that nonsense, I’m just not comfortable having someone else fix my face.” I laugh, but am all too serious.

“Are you sure?

“Yes. Very, very.” I head upstairs and load up YouTube to get some quick tips so I don’t look washed-out with my new blonde hair. Thank God for technology. I don’t know how I started teenhood without it.

About half way through my third video is when I realize it’s not the makeup making me look streaky but the spray tan that is now starting to darken. When I say ‘darken,’ I mean, I look like I’ve just spent a week in the sun. It’s not exactly turning me orange, but I’m definitely not milky-white anymore.

“Hey, Lil…” I nonchalantly yell down the stairs hoping not to send Hannah into a full-on panic.

“What?” she yells back, obviously not quite reading my mind.

“Can you come up here?”

“Is something wrong?” she yells back, leading me to the balcony overlooking the living room.

“Just get up here!” I hiss down to her and watch her jump off the couch and run towards the stairs.

“What is it?” She walks in and stops in her tracks looking me up and down. “Oh no… the tan?”

“Yeah… the tan. What the fuck? How bad does it look?”

She bites her lip and looks me up and down. “It’s not terrible, yet but it keeps getting darker for up to eight hours. So… with the wedding just a few hours away…”

“Oh, my God… oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. What do I do?” I sit down on the bed and drop my head down between my knees hoping to avoid the panic setting in quickly.

“I dunno… Give me a second.” She’s frantically typing into her phone probably Googling how to remove a spray tan. “This says, to slather on a layer of baby oil, let it sit for fifteen minutes and then scrub with lemon juice and baking soda.”

“What about my hair?”

“We’ll have to refix it. I have some oil.” She disappears from my room, returning within the same minute with a tiny bottle of baby oil. “Get to slathering, I’ll go down and make the scrub, I’m sure Hannah has everything.”

Baby oil is not a fun product. Once I had my top half covered in it the bottle was hard to manage to cover my legs. But somehow, I managed and now I can’t even sit because it’s so thick I’d just slide off anything I sat on.

“Here.” Lily comes in with a stiff loofah sponge and a container full of yellowish gloop. “It’s probably been about ten minutes, so get in there, steaming hot and scrub till your skin bleeds.”

“That’s a little drastic, isn’t it?” I take the concoction from her and walk into the shower. Right when I was happy with how my hair turned out, I have to mess it all up and hope that the outcome is the same.

“Either have pink skin from over-scrubbing, or look like you tried to change race?”

“Fine, I’ll scrub till it hurts.” I did, I scrubbed every area until I couldn’t take it and then I moved onto the next and then, in the end, I had to rewash with a regular loofah just to get the oil completely off my skin.

“Better?” I walk out still in a towel to see Lily sitting on my bed watching TV.

“Oh… Yes. I’d say you’re half as dark now. Still a little darker than I’d choose, but it looks almost normal.”

“Really?” I glance in the mirror right as Hannah walks in.

“Time to get—” She stops and stares at me. “What happened to your hair?”

“The spray tan went wrong and we had to scrub it off.”

“What?”

“I looked like I sat in the sun for hours.”

“And this is the after-scrub?” She’s got her jaw clenched through her forced smile.

“Yeah… Is it still terrible?”

“A little dark, but definitely not terrible. But… now you need to refix your hair, do your makeup and get dressed.”

“Got it, Lily will help me, right Lil?”

“Absolutely.”

After today I’m not sure I want a girls’ day ever again. The makeup, hair, and girly stuff has gone so wrong and taken so long, and now, an hour before the wedding, when I look into the mirror I barely see me, but a tanned blonde that I hardly recognize.

“You look amazing!” Lily stands back and admires all the hard work we’ve done in the last hour. “Seriously, I think all this makes even the hideous dress looks better.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you are just, wow.”

“Aw, thank you!” I squeeze her by the neck, causing her to giggle while struggling to get free. “After a rough few hours you totally just made my day. I was so afraid I was going to be the laughing stock of the wedding.”

“There’s no way for that to be possible now. In fact, I think you’ll end up with all eyes on you.” She grabs her purse and hands me my shoes. “I think you might even have a couple of men to choose from after tonight.”

“No, remember, the Liam thing is just a favor. A business deal really.” No way am I going to mention that this deal is favor for favor. I’m not sure what kind of favor I might be getting myself into at some point in the future, and I’m sure Lily’s thoughts will go right to the worst possible idea.

“A favor… Right.” She stares at me, eyebrows raised in disbelief.

“Will you stop?”

“Fine, but don’t come crying to me when they’ve both fallen for you and you can’t decide between the two of them.”

“I promise that won’t happen. Now let’s go before Hannah has a stroke worrying about us.” We are running late and we promised Hannah we would be there in plenty of time for the wedding. Liam agreed to pick us up the moment I texted him and that was done five minutes ago.

“Hello?” I hear him in the foyer looking for us. I told him to let himself in if we weren’t already out front when he got here.

“Be right down!” I yell through the doorway before slipping on my stripper heels. “Let’s go.”

When I reach the top of the stairs Liam’s face lights up with a look that is half confused, half intrigued. “Wow! You are just…” He smiles and runs a hand through his hair. “You are gorgeous. I love the hair.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. Seriously, I haven’t been speechless in a while.” He holds the door open as Lily and I walk out to his SUV. “I’m sure Jack will fall head over heels for you.” His face drops a bit when he says it, and my heart hurts momentarily when I see the disappointment in his own statement.

“Doubtful, but thank you.”

“I’m just glad to be the date of the prettiest girl in the room for the night.” He helps push all the feathers safely into his truck before running around to his seat.

I can’t believe it but we might actually make this wedding on time, and looking better than I did last night.

Chapter Twelve

Four and a Half Years Ago

Northwest Portland, Oregon

The Funeral

“She’s gone,” I say through a cry, looking over at Evan and Jack.

“I’m so sorry, babe.” Jack walks around to where I’m standing and pulls me in for a giant hug to mask my sobbing from my brother.

“I’m sure she’s happy to be with Dad again.” Evan attempts to make me feel better, but it hasn’t worked so far today so I’m not sure why he keeps trying.

“Yeah…” I snort-sob it out into Jack’s chest.

“You can stay as long as you like.” A nurse tries to smile through a frown. I know the nurses were not looking forward to this day either, as my mom has become the mom of the ward for the last few months she’s been here.

I’m not sure you can die of a broken heart, but it sure appears that way. One day she was fine, and a few months after Dad died she got weaker and weaker. When we finally convinced her to go to the doctor they discovered that her heart was failing. She refused most options they gave her and only lasted a few more months living on her own before they admitted her to the hospital.

If she could have had a suite with a kitchen to cook for the staff when she felt up to it, she’d have loved it. But they don’t really do that in hospitals, so she settled for games on the iPad Evan brought her, and old movies from her childhood on DVD.

I’ve been here for the last week, knowing her passing was getting close. Stop being sad for me Emi, I’ve had a good life. You just make the most of yours as I did mine. She said it practically every hour, which would only send me into more fits of crying.

“I’ve already taken care of everything, Em. All you have to do is show up to the funeral.” Evan takes over when I finally release Jack from my grip so I sob into Evan’s shoulder.

“But it’s not fair, Ev. We’re only twenty-five years old. We haven’t had any of the big moments in life: no weddings, no babies, nothing.” When I snort back a runny nose is when he directs me back to Jack.

“I know. We will, though, and when we do we have plenty of friends to share the moment with us. We still have each other.” Evan is too good a brother, especially since we lost Dad. He’s basically become a father figure to me, and now he’s taking over as the parent in my life.

“OK,” I sniffle, and glance back at my mother lying so peacefully, eyes closed, almost with a smile on her face.

“Emi, dear.” My aunt Maggie engulfs me in a giant hug. “She was such a marvelous woman. She’s happier now, though.”

I nod my head and fight back the tears. Every time someone hugs me more tears roll down my cheeks and it takes everything I have to not just sob until I can’t sob anymore. “You know anytime you need me I’m just a few miles away, right?” She holds me at arm’s length with a serious look on her face. “You haven’t lost everyone. You still have me, Evan, and Uncle Melvin. We’ll be right here for years to come.”

“But…what…about…when…I…get…married…or…or…or…” I try not to sob it out but it just happens.

“Or what dear?”

“Or get pregnant? Who will be there then?”

“Well, I will! Your mother was a good twelve years older than me so I’ll gladly take her place in all those events. Anytime you need anything a girl would go to her mother for you, come to me.” She says it sternly, as if I can’t hear over the sobbing.

“Emi…” Evan walks up to us. “It’s been a week, I understand you're sad, I am too, but you’re still crying… maybe you need a drink?”

“No. I will not get drunk on the day of my mother’s funeral.” I’m determined to not have another story where Emi had too much to drink when her emotions couldn’t handle things.

“Then how about you just get some food, coffee, and try and relax?” He nods towards Jack who comes to my rescue. He and Aunt Maggie are busy filling plates of food a caterer brought hours ago.

I sit at my mom’s dining table, a plate piled high full of food that will exceed any calorie counting I’ve been doing. Mac and cheese, scalloped potatoes, ham, everything but anything green.

“Here ya go, sugar. I got you a coffee, just the way you like it.”

“You put booze in it?” I frown, remembering the promise I made myself of not drinking today. Even though this is quite possibly the second worse day of my life, for some reason I feel like it’s a memory I want to keep forever. I had one mother give me up before I had any memories of her, and now the one who volunteered to love me like she gave birth to me is gone.

“No, I didn’t put booze in it.” Jack laughs a little before sitting next to me with a plate of food.

“Emi! You poor sweet girl.” Behind me, Amelia’s heels are clicking across the tiled floor quickly towards me. Before I can stand up she’s got me pinned to my chair in a hug. “Anything you need, you let me know. You’ve been a part of my family for so long that you’re already like another daughter. Do you understand that?” I nod as she pulls away, trying desperately to keep the tears back. “My lord, girl, you look terrible. You can come and stay with me for a while.”

“But I—”

“Nope, there will be no buts. You will move into Jack’s old room and I will make sure you get through this.”

I guess staying with Amelia and Robert for a few days wouldn’t kill me. Walking around this house I once shared with my mother is doing nothing but making this whole thing harder. Every time a memory pops up I lose it, and I’ve been eating peanut butter and jelly for far too many months now.

“All right.” I force a smile and nod my head. As I eat, I watch all the people I know and love share stories, laughs, and hugs about my mother. I’m just not there yet, though. I can’t seem to talk about her as if she’s in the past.

“I’m nervous. Are you nervous?” I ask Evan as we sit in Jack’s partner Andy’s office.

“Not really.”

“But what if there is more than we expected? Or less?”

“Either way, it’s more than the five hundred dollars in my account right now.” Evan smiles at me.

“How are you always broke?” I ask him, wondering how Mom and Dad always considered him the more responsible of the two of us. “You’re single, you live in a crap apartment and you work all the time.”

“I know how to have fun. You should try it sometime.”

“What? I’m fun! Ask Jack!”

“No thanks.” He scrunches his face up like I’m talking about a private kind of fun.

“OK, kids.” Andy walks in behind us holding a file full of papers. “First thing I need to say is how sorry I am about your mother. The few times I spoke with her she seemed like a great lady.” He drops the file on to his desk and sits down in his chair. “As you know, your parents were quite well off.”

We both watch as he slides on a pair of glasses while opening the file in front of him. “And while there are no stipulations on the inheritance, your parents have made some… requests.”

“Requests?” Evan asks, looking suddenly nervous.

“Suggestions, really. Are we ready?”

“Oh, God,” I mumble under my breath. I know what my parents were like. This might be very bad.

“Let’s start with Emi… You will, of course, receive half of everything, and your parents have suggested that you start living life a little more responsibly and that when you do settle down that you will consider adoption.”

“They think I’m motherly?!” I ask, completely shocked. Children? I’ve never even thought about that. I’m not exactly child-friendly. I curse way too often and I have a hard time even keeping a houseplant alive, so I probably shouldn’t risk it with children.

Kids don’t seem to really like me either. I’m the girl who applauded when a local restaurant I love decided it was going to become adults-only. The news had a hay day with it, but I was just glad to be sitting in a room with no screaming babies or kids asking me why I was bigger than their magazine-picture-perfect mommy. I heard a saying once that made me dislike children even more than I already did. It was: If an adult says you’re fat, they’re jealous. If a teen says you’re fat, they’re an asshole. If a child says you’re fat, you’re fat. So, I think avoiding the little truth-telling jerks is in my best interest, and also theirs.

“Even in death, they ask you be more responsible,” Evan laughs.

“Not so fast, Mr Harrison. You too will receive half of everything, and their request for you is that you take care of your sister and stop trying to populate the earth with every woman you meet. They ask that you find a nice girl and settle down. While they both agreed that you are relatively level-headed, you don’t always make the best decisions. That should change.”

“Ha, ha. See,” I gloat at Evan. “You suck too.”

“Their final request is that we sell their house, you keep what you want from the interiors and focus on the life that YOU want. Invest and save before pissing away the entire estate.” He slides off his glasses and jots a note on two separate slips of paper and slaps them on the desk in front of us. “This is the amount you’ll each receive, and of course, this is minus any taxes or debts that needed to be paid.”

“Holy shit,” I announce, holding the note and glancing over at Evan.

“That’s a bit more than the five hundred I mentioned earlier, isn’t it?”

“That it is, Mr Harrison, so be wise. You two are young, you have a lot of life ahead of you and you’ve now got a head start. Don’t blow it, like I see so often with the young ones.”

“I won’t,” we say in unison, both a little stunned at the turn of events.

“Emi, I know that you live in the house right now. The house was listed yesterday and we’ve already got interest, so I would advise you to be looking for a new place to reside, in the very near future.”

“OK,” I say, kind of sad that this part of my life is moving on without my parents.

“That’s a lot of money, Ems.” Jack stands at the oven cooking dinner for us as I go over everything that happened earlier today.

“I know. AND I have to move, like pronto. Where should I look?”

“Actually… I had an idea.” Jack disappears into his room for a moment before coming out holding a small wrapped package in his hands.

“You bought me a present?”

“I did. And if it’s not something you are ready for, let me know, there is no pressure here.” He nods at the gift. “Open it.”

I’m nervous. I can feel myself holding my breath as I pull the ribbon off and unwrap the black paper revealing a tiny white box. It’s too flat to be a ring box, unfortunately. I glance up at Jack who is standing at the edge of the bar, arms crossed, a smile on his face. Inside the box is a key.

“What’s this?” When I look at him he laughs, but doesn’t give me any hint. “Wait… are you—?”

“I am. I mean… unless you don’t want to? You spend almost every day over here anyway, so why not make it official and move in?”

“Are you sure?” I ask him, worried that he’s doing this only because I need somewhere to live. I guess we’ve been moving towards this, but I hate that he’s asking during a moment that I am just about homeless.

“I wouldn’t have made the key if I wasn’t sure.”

“Do your parents know?”

“Emi… I’m almost 28 years old. I don’t need to run everything I do by my parents. Besides, you heard my mother the other day, she loves you.” His eyebrows rise in anticipation of my answer. “So… yes or no?”

It’s not the ring I’d love to get, but it’s close. I’ve never lived with a boy before so I’m more than nervous, but I know for a fact that I don’t want to say no. This is a big step towards true adulthood, and an even bigger step towards a possible husband.

“Yes.” I bite my lip through a giggle. “Yes, I will move in with you.”

Jack pulls me off the stool and lifts me off the ground before kissing my forehead. “Awesome.”

“So, which room is mine?” I joke, looking at the extra bedroom Jack’s turned into an office.

“That part is not negotiable… We share a room. Now go, call Lily because I know you’re absolutely dying to tell her.”

“You are the best boyfriend ever!” I quickly peck his lips with mine and grab my phone off the counter to call Lily on speaker phone so Jack can hear how excited girls get over these kinds of things.

“GUESS WHAT?!” I scream into the phone.

“What? God… Why are you so loud?” She laughs, but I can tell she’s annoyed with the screaming.

“Jack asked me to move in with him!”

“He did?”

“Yup.”

“You know what’s next, right? A proposal, I bet he’ll go all out.” Jack coughs in the background, probably in shock that girls think that moving in together automatically predicts a proposal. “Oh, am I on speaker?”

“Yeah…”

“Well… At least I’m not calling to verify the reservation of a wedding venue, like on Friends.”

“True,” I respond, wondering how Jack would react if something like that actually happened.

“When’s the big moving day?”

“As soon as Emi wants,” Jack says before I can speak. “This weekend if you like.”

“Really?”

“Of course, Andy told me the house was already up for sale so it’ll be easier to show if you’re out sooner than later. I can arrange movers to come and take care of it.”

“We can help if you want.” Lily volunteers her and Josh to help me pack up my whole life and move.

“OK!” I enthusiastically announce. “Let’s do it this weekend.”

Chapter Thirteen

Present Day

Downtown Portland, Oregon

The Reception

“Attention, wedding party!!” Botoxed Muffy claps as quietly as possible at us all lining up to get the wedding started. “Let’s get with our partners! Make sure you haven’t forgotten bouquets, tissues, rings…” She glances around at all of our faces. “Are we ready?”

I kind of feel like we should all yell, ma’am, yes ma’am here and watch her finally smile. She’s been bossing us around, yelling and just being generally obnoxious for the last thirty minutes. With it being so close to the wedding and the fact that guests are just beyond the doors she’s standing in front of, this is the quietest I’ve seen her yet.

“Once I open these doors we will walk down the aisle just like we practiced last night.”

“Today is the day, Ems.”

“The day our siblings get married? Yes I know, Jack. I’m here.”

“No… The day we talk.”

“I don’t think this is the time or the place.”

“No time or place has been right for you, for two years. Please let me do this, Em. If not for you, then for me.” He stares down at me, a hesitant sad smile on his face.

Even though I wanted him to gain twenty pounds and lose his hair, I’m glad he didn’t. He’s still just as gorgeous as he was two years ago, and even though I don’t want him to, he still stirs up something inside me.

“Fine, I’ll give you ten minutes to say what you need to say.”

“Thank you.” He nods with a smile and reaches down pulling my hand into the crook of his arm and holding it there like he’s taking me hostage until we’ve had this conversation.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting ready to walk down the aisle.” He grins down at me, knowing that wasn’t what I was asking, and not seeming to care at all. I guess he thinks he makes all the rules today. “Do you like him?”

“What?” We take a step forward and I glance up at Liam, who’s walking down the aisle with Greta hanging off him like a trophy wife. Which, now that I think of it, I’m sure is her destiny in life. She’ll become some bitchy trophy wife and make anyone’s life miserable that doesn’t bow to her greatness. I refuse to be one of her victims.

“The bartender, do you like him?” Jack stares towards the front of the room as he speaks. “Romantically…?”

“How do you know he’s a bartender?”

“I know things,” he says, as we take another step forward.

“You don’t know anything.”

“I know you just met him.”

“Wha—”

“SSHHHHH!” Muffy glares at us, motioning for the couple ahead of us to start down the aisle.

“Why do you think that?” I whisper, as quietly as possible, but Jack just shrugs his shoulders and holds my hand even tighter. “You’re wrong, anyway,” I say through a clenched-teeth smile. “I met him in Dallas.” Think Emi, think. I need a good lie and I need it fast. I can’t believe I didn’t think of the whole possible backstory before this moment. I should have known Jack would research him; he’s a lawyer.

“No, you didn’t,” he says under his breath, smiling at the crowd.

“Yes, I did.” I hiss through clinched teeth, moving my lips as little as possible so no one notices us. I suddenly spot Lily’s face, her eyes wide, a questioning smile. We obviously aren’t being as subtle as I thought we were. Thankfully the end of the aisle comes quickly and we part ways before the music changes.

Hannah and her father step into the doorway, both beaming with excitement. Hannah truly does look lovely in her giant fluffy princess gown. When I glance over at my brother he’s fighting back tears, but looks as in love as I’ve ever seen anyone. They’re perfect for each other. I smile at him when he looks my way, but immediately notice that Jack and Liam are both watching me, with very different smiles on their faces.

Liam’s smile is that smile every girl wants to see. The one they make internet memes out of that say something like Find a man that looks at you like Joe Biden looks at Obama. Honestly, that smile freaks me out far more than it should. I didn’t really come here to find love, or anything like it. This is supposed to be something just short of a business arrangement. But this smile, the kiss last night and his flattery has somehow convinced everyone but Jack that we are almost a couple.

Jack, though? His smile is almost a silent plea that is piercing right through my soul. It’s the same smile he would use when we were together and I was mad at him. Which was rare. How is he doing this to me? He’s got me wondering things that have nothing to do with getting back at him.

I force a small smile back in their direction, but for some reason my eyes are on Jack. Damn him. It was so much easier to be in control when I was two thousand miles away.

“It was so beautiful,” I say to Lily as I walk into the reception room. Amelia really spared no expense with this wedding. Sheer panels hang from the ceiling, backlit with soft lighting. Giant crystal chandeliers hang over every table with centerpieces of all white flowers taller than me. “Did you see Evan as Hannah walked down the aisle?” I ask, mesmerized by the atmosphere of the room.

“I did,” she says, glancing at me as we stand near the bar. “I also saw you and Jack as you walked down the aisle. What was that about?”

“What?” I grab a glass of wine from the bartender and guiltily glance back at Lily.

“It looked like you two were arguing.”

“No. He was just being… Jack.” I spot Liam heading in my direction. “It doesn’t matter anyway.”

“I told you,” Liam says, planting a kiss on my cheek.

I can’t help but scan the room to see if Jack saw it. How dare he believe anything other than what we’re presenting? How could he even know I didn’t meet Liam until a couple days ago? There is no way he’s telling the truth.

“You told her what?” Josh asks.

“That she’d be the most beautiful girl in the room.” Both Lily’s and Josh’s eyebrows rise in confusion.

“That’s too sweet.” I force a pinched smile in their direction to gloat about me being the prettiest. “It’s not true, but it’s sweet.” It might not be completely true but that doesn’t mean I have to ignore it.

“I think it’s true,” Liam says to me, but his attention is on Lily and Josh’s disbelief.

“Thank you. How was Greta?”

“She’s an odd one, that’s for sure. She kept asking what I thought of your hair. And your spray tan.”

“Why should she care about those?”

“I don’t know, but she made sure to tell me what a morning you’d had, how everything had gone wrong for you, and that you’re always this unlucky. She advised me to run as far from you as possible.” He laughs when he says it. I, however, can almost feel the steam rising from my head. How dare she try and control the situation through my date!

Wait… Did she…?

“You don’t think—” I start to ask Lily, who is nodding her head.

“It makes sense, considering nothing went wrong with any of the other girls.” She inhales through her nose, her nostrils flaring. “I can’t believe we didn’t see this before!”

“She sabotaged me?! For what?” I say it far too loud, causing people near us to turn in our direction.

Right then she and Jack walk into the room. Without a further thought I start marching towards them until I feel a hand pull me to a stop.

“Emi, I don’t think this is a great idea.” Liam tries to stop me but I pull away from him and stomp my way to them.

“YOU BITCH!” I spit at her in a quiet hiss but I can’t seem to keep it very quiet. “You did this.” I point to my hair and Greta starts to back away from me, putting Jack in between us as a human shield.

“What’s going on?” Jack asks, looking back and forth between Greta and me.

“She hates me… For what, though? You know she tried to make me look like a complete fool today?”

“Come on…” Jack glances at a trembling Greta. “She would never…” His face drops in disbelief when she doesn’t offer any explanation or denial.

“Ask her… Ask her about my hair, or my spray tan…”

“PLEASE WELCOME, OUR STAR COUPLE… MR AND MRS… EVAN AND HANNAH HARRISON.” The DJ interrupts us and we all stop to glance at the doors that Evan and Hannah are running through, hand in hand.

“Emi, let’s not do this here.” Lily and Liam are now at my side, trying to convince me to walk away from Jack and Greta. But I can’t.

“Not until she admits it.”

“Girls… What is going on?” Amelia approaches us, glancing back and forth between us. “I’m not sure what’s happening, but let’s move it outside the reception.” She corrals all of us out into the hallway, Greta keeping Jack between us as a buffer. “Now what is the problem?”

“Tell them, Greta.”

“There is no problem, Mrs Cabot.” Greta shrugs her shoulders with a nervous laugh, probably trying to convince herself that she hasn’t been caught.

“How did you even get in my room to change the shampoo?”

I wait for her to answer, but she just rolls her eyes.

“Or the spray tan, how did you set that up? The hairdresser who fried off my hair, was that planned or was that just a lucky coincidence?”

“Puh-lease. You can’t prove I did any of that. You’re just bad luck… always have been.”

Amelia’s glare towards Greta makes even me shiver in fear. “Maybe we contact the spray tan employee and ask her? Surely that would prove your innocence, right, Greta?”

We all watch Greta open her mouth to speak, then suddenly decide against it.

Liam steps up beside me. “Greta, I do find it unusual that everything Emi just mentioned are the very same things you asked me about just before we walked down the aisle. Why did you care, if you had nothing to do with it?”

“Did you do these things?” Amelia asks her.

Greta quickly shakes her head in denial, but the glistening of sweat on her forehead isn’t the physical reaction of someone who is innocent. I know that from watching too many who-done-it TV shows.

“Fine, OK? I may have had something to do with them, but you totally deserve it. Look what you do to Jack when he’s around you. He hasn’t been the same since you got here. He’s miserable.”

We all look to Jack, who right this second looks less like someone miserable and more like a deer caught in the headlights. But I have seen the misery across his face. I might think it was me causing his misery if his entire attitude hadn’t changed today. In the last twelve hours, though, I haven’t seen him completely miserable at all. Up until right this moment I’ve seen traces of the Jack I once loved.

“How could you do this?” I ask her, my mind trying to understand how a person could be so evil. “I’ve never done anything to you.”

Amelia takes the center of the group. “Greta, there is something I’ve wondered about quite often these last few months.” Her arms are crossed in front of her and her pacing between us is more than nerve-wracking. “There was a story a friend of mine brought to my attention at your and Jack’s engagement party. And I’d like to get a straight answer from you on this.”

“Mom, don’t get involved.”

“This involves you too, Jack. I would think it would be of importance to you.”

Jack’s eyes widen.

“Elsie Graham, the mother of a girl called Madison Graham, told me a story I couldn’t quite believe at the time,” Amelia continues. Greta sucks in her breath and suddenly looks completely terrified, unsure where to run. “You are friends with Madison Graham, am I right?”

“Not really.” Greta shakes her head continuously.

Amelia frowns at Greta. “Maybe you’re not close any longer, but you were close a couple of years ago, correct?”

Greta is still shaking her head. “I wouldn’t say close, I knew of her.”

“You knew ‘of her’ enough to send her in Jack’s direction when he was looking for a new assistant?” This time, Greta doesn’t answer and just shrugs her shoulders.

“Wait a minute…” Jack interrupts. “Madison Graham, my former assistant? That Madison?”

“Yes.” Amelia nods her head and glances back at me. “This would be the same Madison.” Amelia sighs heavily and walks over to speak to Greta face to face. “I’m going to give you one chance to tell the truth. If you don’t, I will make sure you never fit in my crowd again.”

“You can’t do that,” Greta says, with a haughty look on her face. “I was already in that crowd without you.”

“Go on then, let’s hear the truth – or I’ll tell the story Elsie filled me in on.”

Everyone’s head turns to Greta, who immediately looks to the ground before grabbing Jack’s hand in hers.

“It’s nothing, really. I just… uh… That first time I met you, at the Christmas party, remember?”

Jack nods his head before subtly side-eyeing me. The misery Greta mentioned earlier is now unmistakably present. It’s her. She’s been causing it. He doesn’t want to be with her.

“I… uh… I couldn’t quit thinking about you, and you wouldn’t answer my calls, so I… I heard that you needed an assistant and my fr— a girl I knew from college was looking for a job. I thought she’d be a great fit so I sent her your way.” She shrugs her shoulders as if that’s the end of the story, but Amelia clears her throat and Greta sighs again. “I asked her to bring me up to you and get your reaction, but it didn’t faze you because of her.” Greta glares at me.

“Yes,” Jack says with a nod. Again our eyes meet momentarily.

“Go on.” Amelia says.

“So, I came up with a plan.” Greta is speaking in almost a whisper at this point.

“What plan?” I ask her.

“A plan to steal Jack from you.”

“My God,” Liam says next to me under his breath. “She is crazy.” He looks at me, his eyebrows narrowed but eyes wide.

“I’m not crazy.” Greta glares at Liam, presumably having overheard his comment. “I was just in love. I asked Madison to make sure that Jack dumped Emi. What happened is not what I expected, or planned, but it worked.” The nonchalant shrug of her shoulders makes me want to run across the room and strangle her.

“Are you telling me that you sent Madison into my office that day?” Jack immediately pulls his hand from hers and walks away from her.

“Not exactly.” Greta follows him. “She did that on her own; I just told her when to do it. Madison knew Emi was coming to meet you for lunch that day, so she made sure Emi would catch you… uh… ya know.”

“No… I don’t know. Catch me what?” Jack suddenly turns towards her, his face flushed and showing a glare I’ve never witnessed before.

“You know… with her.” Greta’s shoulders shrug again.

I immediately look at Jack. Our eyes lock. She did this. She ruined my life. She ruined our life. She did it on purpose, and she doesn’t even care. Suddenly I find myself feeling dizzy, my hand over my mouth and unable to say anything. I feel like I need to sit down before I fall over. I glance around the room, panicked. Everyone looks as shocked as I feel.

“I wasn’t with her,” Jack says, and turns to me. “This is what I’ve wanted to talk to you about.” He walks over to me but doesn’t get too close because Liam suddenly grabs my hand protectively. Jack frowns when he sees it but turns his gaze back to me. “I didn’t sleep with Madison that day. Or any other day, for that matter. I was gone that morning at a meeting across town, which you knew about. When I came back she was in my office, nearly naked, and threw herself at me. I tried to push her away, but she was all over me and I didn’t want to risk hurting her. When you walked in she had pushed me on to the couch with her and it just…” Jack’s eyes glisten over with emotion and he stops talking for a moment. He sighs heavily while running a hand through his hair again. “I never slept with Madison, Ems. She kissed me, yes, but I never kissed her back. I would never have done that to you.”

I stand stunned. I felt Liam drop my hand a moment ago, my free hand still covering my own mouth. I blink back the tears as quickly as possible but one escapes, sliding down my cheek and causing Jack to reach up and wipe it away.

His hand stops at my neck. “I’m sorry I let you down.” When his voice cracks, my tears spill over like a waterfall that I can’t control. He didn’t cheat on me with Madison? How could he not have said this for two whole years?!

“I can’t…” I say to Jack. “There’s something else.”

“What?” he asks.

I force myself to breathe and quickly wipe away the tears. “It wasn’t just Madison.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know. It’s because of her.” When I glance at Greta she has an evil grin on her face knowing exactly what I’m talking about. “I saw her, at our apartment later that day. I went to talk to you, but before I could get out of the elevator I heard your voices and you let her into the apartment. Our apartment, Jack.”

“You saw that? Why didn’t you tell me?” Jack is standing with a hand in his hair again, his jaw hanging open and brow furrowed in confusion.

“Come on… I walked in on you… doing I don’t know what with Madison, and then later that same day I find practically the same thing with Greta! What was I supposed to say?”

“Nothing happened between Greta and me. Yes, she showed up at our apartment, and yes, I invited her in, but it was to tell her to back off. She’d been relentless with the texting and calling my office. I’d avoided her the whole time and I’d finally had enough. I needed her to know that her and I would never happen. I needed her to see how serious I was when I asked her, for the thousandth time, to leave me alone. She was there maybe five minutes and I sent her home. Right?” He looks at Greta, who nods with tears streaming down her face.

“He didn’t want me. Because of you.” She spits the word you like it’s poison. “When I did finally win him over, we were perfect until you showed up again. Right, baby?” She tries to sidle up to Jack, but he shakes his head and backs away towards his mother.

“No, we’re not perfect, we were never perfect. In fact, we’re over.” He doesn’t even look at her when he says it; he stares at the floor and then looks up at me his eyes filled with regret. Yet again, it nearly tears out what’s left of my heart.

“WHAT?!” she squeals. “You’re going to let her do this to us?”

The moment the words come out of her mouth, the sorrow in his eyes turns to a rage I’ve never seen in Jack, and he turns his attention directly to her.

“YOU did this to us,” he growls at her. “And I use the word us loosely. I’m not sure what we ever even were.” His finger is nearly touching her face as she backs away from him in fear. “You lied from the very start, you manipulated your way in.” He stops and stares at the floor. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it. I’ve been so hung up on—” He glances at me before turning back to Greta. “I can ever look at you the same again.” He looks at his mother as if they are having a silent conversation. “You need to leave.” Jack backs away from Greta before turning away from her altogether, not even waiting for her answer.

I look at Greta, whose face is now a mix of horror, disbelief and heartbreak. I’ve never seen anything more fitting for a girl who is pure evil. A piece of my heart starts to heal instantly, and I don’t feel even a little bit bad about it.

I thought I wanted to see Jack miserable, but that was before I knew what I now know. Seeing Greta finally get what she deserves is far better.

“Before you leave,” Amelia says, “you may hand over my mother’s ring.” She holds her hand out to Greta and we watch her pull her hand to her heart quickly.

“What? Jack…” She calls to him. He’s now standing near the reception entry doors. His tie has been loosened and his hair is ruffled from him continually running his hands through it.

“Goodbye, Greta.” He looks at me and then over at Liam before dropping his head and leaving the room.

“You bitch!” she screams at me before Amelia steps in between us.

“I’ve notified security, and if you don't go in the next five minutes, you will be escorted out of the building by them. It’s your choice.” She again holds out her hand for the ring, and Greta violently jerks it off her finger and hurls it to the floor. The stomping sound of her exiting before security arrives echoes in my head in sync with my heartbeat pounding in my ears. We watch the elevator doors close behind her, and finally, for a moment, I can breathe.

“Let’s all get back to the reception so we don’t ruin Hannah’s day.” Amelia nods a small smile at me before walking towards the doors into the reception room.

“We’ll just leave you two alone.” Lily and Josh sneak away leaving Liam and me standing in the foyer.

“I… uh…” Liam runs his hand through his hair nervously. “I’m so sorry. I know I’ve only known you a few days, but that made even me sick. Is there anything I can do?”

I shake my head, fighting back the tears, again. I feel like walking in on Jack and Madison has only just happened, and I’m losing everything for the second time.

“Do you need to go talk to him?”

“No,” I answer quickly, turning to Liam, and forcing a smile. “I don’t, there is nothing to say right now. Let’s get back.”

“Emi...” He gets closer and grabs both of my hands. “You have every right to be upset. If you want me to go, I totally understand.”

“Why would I want you to go?”

“I just… I know this is a lot to deal with, and I really think you and Jack need to talk.” He sighs the sort of sigh you make when you give people bad news. “Can I give you some advice?”

He continues without waiting for my answer. “You are an amazing woman. For months, my heart and my head have been a mess because of my break-up, and then you wander into my bar and make me see things in a way I haven’t in a while. But you have a lot going on here that needs to be sorted, and I think after all this,” he motions to the now empty foyer, “you should really see what you feel for Jack.”

“You think I should get back with Jack?”

“I think only you know the answer to that. But I do think you should work out what all this information revealed tonight means to you.”

“Oh.”

“I think it’s best if I go. You know where to find me.” He forces an almost sad smile and I watch him as he slowly walks into the elevator. He nods his head in my direction as the doors close behind him, leaving me alone with only my confusion to keep me company.

Another tear falls down my cheek before I can wipe it away. I can’t just fall apart, this is my brother’s wedding. I walk to the doorway and watch the excitement of the room. People dancing, eating, laughing, and here I stand with only half a heart left. Lily waves over at me from the table. The last thing I want is to ruin my brother’s wedding day. Whether I want to or not, I have to pull myself together.

“Where’s Liam?” Lily asks.

“He left.”

“Oh. Ems…” She smiles a pitiful smile at me and pats the chair next to her. “I’m so sorry, but I think he did the right thing. You need to deal with this right now.”

“I know.” I sigh and look across the room at Jack. He’s sitting at a table alone, staring at a beer bottle in front of him, looking as miserable as I’ve ever seen him. Even though I’ve no idea what should be said, I know I need talk to him about this.

Chapter Fourteen

Five Years Ago

Downtown Portland, Oregon

The Fight

Sometimes I wonder why anyone would ever want to be a lawyer. It seems like all Jack ever does is work. If he’s not working on an active case he’s working his ass off because he’s trying to get to be a partner of the firm. He’s good at his job, he really is, but is it worth risking your personal life for?

“When is the last time you guys even had dinner together?”

I’m sitting at a table in the middle of a bustling restaurant with Lily and Josh. I feel like I’m the third single wheel, even though I’m not even close to single.

“Over a month ago,” I sigh, and push the food around my plate. “I try, really I do. I’ve even scheduled dinner dates, and he’ll call at the last minute and have to cancel. I just don’t get it. Should I be worried?”

Lily’s frown says it all. “I don’t know. Maybe?”

“No.” Josh rolls his eyes. “You girls think too much. Maybe he’s just busy with work. It’s not like he has any kind of malicious bone in his body. Jack’s the best guy we all know.”

I feel myself nodding but also wondering if that’s true. “Maybe we missed some kind of signal?”

“Signal?” He grabs his beer and leans back in his chair, both Lily and I waiting for his response. “Maybe it’s a signal that he worked his ass off in college and he’s almost accomplished one of his goals. Do you guys have these conversations about me?”

“No,” says Lily, wildly trying to silently signal me to agree with her.

“Yes,” I say at the same moment, not quite picking up her signal quick enough and earning a confused look from Josh.

“Great.”

“You haven’t done anything completely stupid like this yet, so we haven’t really had to.” Lily plants a reassuring kiss upon his cheek.

“Jack’s not doing anything stupid,” Josh repeats to me.

“Maybe he isn’t, but don’t you think him pushing her aside for weeks at a time is a little risky?” Lily asks him. It seems that I’m being completely booted out of the conversation.

“How’s that?” he asks.

“What if he’s pushing her into the arms of some other attention-giving man?” Lily replies, clearly disgusted by Josh’s nonchalant attitude over this entire conversation.

“Is he?” He looks directly at me.

“Well… no,” I sigh. “But he could be.”

“But he’s not, and it’s not like you’re going to get tired of him and dump him, so I say, learn to live with it. He’s a hard-working guy and he wants to make the most of a career he loves. Either accept it or move on.”

“Have I ever told you I don’t love your latest taste in men?” I say to Lily, who nods in agreement before giggling.

“He’ll learn the ways of us soon enough.”

A roll of Josh’s eyes says maybe he won’t.

He could have a point, though. Up until now Jack and I have never had an issue, in fact, we’ve never even had a serious fight. Maybe he really is completely innocent, and this entire problem is quite possibly just in my head.

But then again… maybe he’s not. Men do these things; they get wrapped up in their work and decide they don’t have time for a relationship. What if that’s what this is?

“I’m just going to have to talk to him about it.”

“You should. Do it tonight… Surprise him at his office.”

“Yeah, great idea. Men love that… when women surprise us anywhere. Don’t do that if your relationship means anything to you.”

“I’ll do it.” I glance over at Josh who’s giving me the I warned you look. He doesn’t know everything; he just knows a man’s perspective. I respect that, but I know Jack. And something’s wrong.

I order our favorite meals from Pastini: tortellini gorgonzola for me and fettuccini alfredo with chicken for Jack. Pastini is the restaurant I choose to eat at whenever it’s my turn to choose. I go to the Piece of Cake bakery and grabbed an entire Fantasy Cake. Which is the best cake in the entire world… cheesecake on top of chocolate cake with cream cheese icing. It’s like a chocolate cheesecake heaven. I even grab a bottle of wine that cost more than $15. Jack should be more than impressed.

I probably should have considered how I’d get this all into the building before ordering every food item I adore, but sometimes the stomach speaks louder than the brain.

“Do you need help?” a voice behind me asks. When I glance back I see Rachel, Jack’s assistant, coming out of the stairwell. “Oh! Emi, it’s so good to see you.”

“Hey, Rachel. I’d love some help. I’m just bringing up dinner to Jack, I feel like I never see him anymore.”

“Oh… Jack actually isn’t in the office; didn’t he tell you?”

“Tell me?”

“He and Andy were meeting with a client in Seattle. They left first thing this morning.”

I drop the Pastini bag on the floor. “In Seattle?”

“I’m sorry. Can I help you at least get everything back out to your car?”

For a moment, I stare at Rachel, confused. Why wouldn’t he tell me he was leaving the state?

“Yes, yes… That would be great,” I say to Rachel, hoping she doesn’t notice the panicked look on my face.

We load the stuff into my car, and Rachel, the sweet girl she is, waves as she walks towards her car in the garage nearby. Now, as if never calling or showing up for our dates isn’t enough, he’s running off out of state, without even telling me. I violently jab his number into my phone only for it to go straight to voicemail. Either his phone isn’t on, or he’s intentionally ignoring me. The asshole. I dial Lily and thankfully she picks up on the first ring.

“He left town, without even telling me.”

“What?” she asks, obviously confused by me starting a conversation in the middle. You’d think she’d be used to me by now, but I’m still able to surprise her with my over-thinking.

“Yeah… I went through all the work of picking up all of our favorite foods to surprise him for dinner at work, and when I get here Rachel has to tell me he went out of town with Andy – this morning.”

“And you’re sure he didn’t tell you?”

“Yeah. I haven’t talked to him in like three days; when would he have told me?”

“That is weird.”

“Do you think he’s cheating on me?”

“No…” Her hesitation doesn’t match her answer.

“Great. Now what?”

“Let’s go to his apartment and see what else he hasn’t told you.”

“I don’t have a key, Lil.”

“So? That’s a minor, workable detail.” She laughs. “We’ll just tell the super that you left your medication in there and you have to get it back before Jack gets home from his business trip.”

“That could work.”

This is not the right thing to do.

“I’ll meet you there in ten.” I hit the End call button.

It might not be the right thing to do but I’m doing it. What can it hurt? If he doesn’t want to talk to me, I’ll figure out why on my own.

The super was more than easy and let me into Jack’s apartment with no questions asked. Apparently, I’m on the list of accepted people in his life so he didn’t even stay to make sure I got what I needed and left.

“Now, what?” I glance at Lily who is already going through drawers in the kitchen.

“Start looking for things.” She’s obviously done this before.

“What am I looking for?”

“Proof that he’s not always at work. Women’s underwear, condom wrappers.”

“Ew…” It’s at moments like these I question my friendship with Lily, but also thank the Lord above that I have her.

“Well… it’s what men do, Ems.”

“I hope it’s not what Jack does…” I walk into his bedroom. Everything is perfectly clean, the bed made, no dirty clothes and the curtains closed. I glance through a couple of drawers but he’s so anal about everything there’s no reason to even dig: the shirt drawer has shirts, the sock drawer has socks, yadda, yadda, yadda. Nothing exciting anywhere.

“Find anything?”

“No… you?”

“This.” She holds up a bright purple bra.

“That’s mine.” I grab it from her just as the front door clicks open. “Oh my God,” I whisper at her, hoping to God it’s just the super checking on us.

“Hello?” Jack’s voice comes booming through the apartment.

“I left my purse out there,” Lily whispers, running to my side.

“Emi?” He walks down the hallway, our eyes momentarily meeting before his gaze moves to the bra hanging from my fingers. “What—” He looks around the room, spotting Lily cowering behind me. “What are you doing here? How did you get in?”

“Jack… I… uh… wanted to surprise you, with dinner, so I went to your office but Rachel said you were here.”

“So then, why is Lily hiding behind you?” he asks, with no emotion on his face.

“We couldn’t find you so we thought we’d check in here. We just got here.”

“And how did you get in?” He’s being really hard to read right now.

“The super let me in.” I watch Jack’s brow furrow and his lips pinch together.

“I’m just going to wait for you in the car.” Lily runs past us and is out of the front door before I can object.

“If you thought I was here, why did you get the super?” He grabs a picture frame still in my hand and sets it back on the dresser where it belongs. “I’m confused. And where is this dinner?”

There is no way I can continue to lie my way through this. “I must’ve been so excited to see you I left dinner in the car, I got our favorite, though. Past—” But I am obviously going to try the lying. At this point what else have I got to lose?

“Ems, Rachel called me a few minutes ago to tell me you were upset I didn’t tell you I was going out of town.”

“Oh.”

“I was going to call you after I got back, but… here you are, sneaking around my apartment. Why are you really here?”

Of course, he sees right through my lies. As he should, it’s not like we’ve been dating for just a couple of weeks. It’s been a couple of years.

“I don’t know, Jack… You act like I’m at the bottom of your list lately, so I wanted to find out what you’re really up to. Why you don’t treat me like you used to.”

“So, you snuck into my apartment to – what? Look for another woman?”

“NO.”

Jack frowns at me.

“Fine, yes. That’s exactly what I was doing.”

“The dinner story was a lie?”

“Yes… no! I have dinner, and dessert, but I didn’t think you were here so I just came up to see if you were with—” I pause momentarily, knowing if I say it out loud I’m going to sound like a complete pathetic jealous girlfriend.

“You just came up here to see if I was with someone else. Got it. It’s nice to know after two years of dating that you don’t trust me at all.”

“I do trust you! But you never talk to me anymore.”

“I’m busy, Ems, trying to make partner at the firm. We’ve talked about this. I’m basically at Andy’s disposal until he decides I’ve earned this. Why can’t you understand this?”

“Because I don’t know why it means I’m last in your life,” I whine. “It’s not fair.”

“It’s also not fair you’re digging around my apartment, is it?” I watch Jack roll his eyes at the bra I’m still holding and walk past me to sit on the edge of his bed. “Listen, I think maybe we should take a break until I’ve done some thinking.”

“What do you mean, a break?” My voice cracks as I ask it, knowing exactly what he means.

“Like, no more Jack and Emi until I’ve made partner and figured some things out. Clearly this is stressing you out, and I can’t worry about what you’re up to next when I already have so much on my plate.”

“You’re breaking up with me?” I squeal, flipping the bra in his direction.

“I think it’s for the best right now.” He picks the bra up off the floor and hands it back to me.

“You are such an ass! There is someone else isn’t there?” I yell, but he’s already directing me towards the front door.

“Emi, just stop.”

“I can’t believe you would do this!”

“I could say the same.” The front door is open and he’s willing me out of the door. “I’ll call you, I promise. I just need some time. That’s all.”

“Fuck you! Don’t call me, EVER!” I grab the doorknob and slam the door shut behind me, forcing myself not to allow the tears to take over until I’m safely down in front of the building. Lily at my side.

“Ems, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think he was in town, had I know I’d have—”

“He dumped me! He said he couldn’t worry about what I might be up to next while he’s got so much on his plate at work.”

“He what?!” Lily is as mad as I am.

“Yeah.” A single tear rolls down my cheek before I wipe it away. “I’m going home”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No.” Before she can object I’m in my car, doors locked waving, hoping she’ll get the BFF ESP that I’ll be fine, eventually.

“Emi, I know you’re home, your mom let me in, please open the door.” Jack’s voice wakes me. I glance around and realize I’m still in the clothes I was wearing yesterday, food cartons are lying across my bed, and the bottle of wine on my nightstand is empty. “Ems.” I crack the door open for him and disappear into my bathroom. “Whoa… What happened in here?”

“I ate our dinner last night,” I say, reluctantly walking back into my room, “after you broke up with me.”

“All of it?” He lifts the half-eaten cake from the box, his eyes wide with surprise.

“Almost.”

“Ems, listen…” He sighs and walks towards me but I back away from him. “I didn’t sleep at all last night.”

“Good,” I spit at him, with as much hate as I can muster at nine in the morning without coffee.

“You breaking into my apartment wasn’t exactly the right thing to do, but I can kind of see why you did it.”

“You can?”

“Yes. You’re right, I’ve been putting you at the bottom of my list and that’s not fair. I’m sorry for that. I do need you to understand, though, that this is a critical time in my career and I need you to be patient with me.”

“Well… You dumped me, so I guess you don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

His deep sigh, frown, and hand through his hair make my heart pitter-patter in my chest hoping he’s having second thoughts. “I don’t want to break up with you, Emi. You just frustrated me.”

“You frustrate me.” I fight back and watch him laugh under his breath.

“I’m sorry for breaking up with you. I hope you’ll forgive me and maybe take me back?” He disappears out of my bedroom door and into the hallway before reappearing with a giant bouquet of yellow roses. “The lady at the florist said that yellow roses signify innocence and apologies. I know I’m guilty of not putting you first but I hope you’ll overlook it and give me another chance.” He hands the roses to me.

“How am I supposed to say no to this?” I ask him quietly.

“You’re not.”

“You promise there is no one else?”

“There will never be anyone else, Ems. You should know that by now.”

“And why aren’t you at work now? Aren’t you going to get in trouble for this?”

“Come with me, I want to show you something.” He holds out his hand for mine. “Please?”

I set the flowers on my bed and follow him to his car not realizing he’s taking me somewhere. The route he takes tells me he’s bringing me to the office with him. Considering what I look like right now (red puffy eyes, still wearing yesterday’s clothes, and with the added bonus of a cheesecake stain on my shirt), I hope he’s not bringing me in to see anyone important.

“That.” He points to the sign advertising his agency on the front of his building.

“Morgan, Steller and Cabot?” I say it out loud.

“I made partner, and this was Andy’s surprise to me. I guess they updated the sign while we were out of town yesterday.” I look at him and his smile says everything. He’s elated that his hard work finally paid off.

“I’m sorry, Jack. I acted like a crazy, jealous girlfriend and I didn’t mean to do that. I just…” I bite my lip looking for the right words. “I’ve never loved someone the way I love you, and I was scared I was losing you.” I glance down at my own hands. How did I not notice that sign last night? It would have saved me a bit of heartache.

Jack reaches over and takes my hands in his. “You’ll never lose me. OK?”

I nod at him, tears again filling my eyes. When he kisses me the tears automatically spill out.

“Why are you crying?”

“That was the worst night of my life,” I sob, as he pulls me as close to him as he can in the front seat of his car.

“I know, baby, and I’m sorry. But at least you got a great dinner.”

When he laughs, I can’t help but laugh with him. It’s not every day you get to scoff down two entrées, an entire bottle of wine and half a cake, all by yourself.

Chapter Fifteen

Present Day

Northwest Portland, Oregon/

Northeast Portland, Oregon

The Great Escape

When I wake up the morning after the wedding, something catches my eye near the table by the window.

“JACK!” I squeal when he moves, scaring the crap out of me. “What are you doing in here?” He’s sitting in the corner wearing jeans and a t-shirt, arms crossed, with a somber look on his face.

“I stayed here last night and I needed to talk to you, but once I came in and sat down I couldn’t figure out what to say.”

“So, you just sat there all creepy and watched me sleep?”

“I didn’t mean for it to be creepy,” he says apologetically.

I sit up and pull the blankets up to my neck as if he’s never seen me in my pajamas before. “Why did you stay here last night?”

“Because I live with May – er – Greta, and I didn’t want to go home and deal with her, so Evan let me stay here.”

“OK… Then what is it you need to talk about at,” I glance at my phone on the nightstand, “7am?”

“It’s 7? God, I’m sorry, I haven’t slept all night. I can come back…”

“No.” I flip on the side lamp. When I look back at Jack he looks terrible. His dark hair is unruly, he has a five o’clock shadow, there are bags under his eyes and he looks distraught. “Let’s talk.” We both sit silently staring at each other.

“I’m sorry about Greta,” I say, even though he should know that I’m not really.

“Don’t be…” He stands and starts to pace the room.

“I’m not really sorry, you know. There was even a moment yesterday where I considered emailing Morgan and asking if he still had that video of the night we all first met Greta.” I bite my own lip, almost worried about what he might think about that. I haven’t completely decided if I will or won’t go for revenge against Greta. She totally deserves it.

Jack raises an eyebrow and forces away the grin creeping up on his face. “I uh… I wish you’d let me explain this when it first happened.” He stops pacing, hand in his hair and looks at me. “I know I didn’t know all the details of what Greta did that day, but I knew I never cheated, Ems. Why…” He sighs heavily. “Why would you ever think I’d do that to you?”

“You think I wanted to think that? It’s what I saw.”

“I hated you for the last year.”

“You hated me? For what?” I ask in a weird high-pitched voice.

Jack rarely gets angry, and even when he used to get semi-angry it was hard to tell. But I’ve seen it enough in the last twenty-four hours to know that he’s at least a little mad right now. His eyes are narrowed, his lips pursed, he has a hand in his pocket, and the constant pacing back and forth in front of my bed says this is the argument we should have had two years ago.

“For what?” He repeats my question in a sharp voice before sitting on the edge of the bed near me. “For you being so damn stubborn that you wouldn’t listen no matter what I said. For you even thinking that me cheating on you was a possibility. For moving away. Mostly, though, I hated you for hating me.”

“I didn’t hate you.” I glance down at the bed, wondering if he knows I’m lying. “I don’t hate you now. You… You broke me, Jack. I can’t seem to move on, I can’t go back, and I can’t get what I saw out of my head. I don’t trust anyone. Especially after yesterday’s revelations.”

“My mom suspected something, Em, and she didn’t even tell me. She let me stay engaged to this woman. And she let you think that I cheated.”

“I’m not sure that’s how it went…” I say, but deep down I know how secretive and vindictive Amelia can be. Not normally to me or her children, but maybe she did know the truth all along.

“Then how?!” He almost yells it before realizing Lily and Josh are sleeping next door. “Then why did no one tell us?”

“I don’t know.”

He’s off the bed again pacing, fists clenched. I’m almost afraid of what he might do, but I remind myself: this is Jack. He’d never hurt a fly.

“You and the bartender, is it romantic?” He stops in his tracks directly in front of me, anger flashing through his face.

“Romantic?”

“Yeah....” He stares into my eyes.

“No.”

“Why’d you bring him?”

“Because I’m single in Couple Land and even my ex had moved on. With my arch-enemy. I mean, come on, how pathetic was I, to still be clinging on to someone who tore out my heart, and then when I finally see him again I discover that he doesn’t even want me anymore?”

The moment the words come out of my mouth, Jack’s face drops from anger to sadness. He walks to my side of the bed and sits down.

“That’s the furthest thing from the truth.” He lays his hand on mine hesitantly.

“Then what is?” I’m a little afraid of this answer, but I feel like he owes it to me.

“I wasn’t really sure for the last year. But I’ve never moved on from you. Not really.” His smile is forced, and the grip he has on my hand is intense.

“I need to ask you something.”

“Anything.” He looks at me nervously.

“How did you end up engaged to Greta? She’s just…” I search for a word but none can describe her in the way I want. “Awful.” That sounds a bit better than calling her a raging basket case of a bitch.

“After what happened with us, Ems, I was so depressed, distraught, and I guess I figured Greta was really all I deserved. She was a distraction, and she was there for me even if it did feel at times like she snuck her way in. And she appeared to love me. I never would have imagined she was the way she was. If I’d ever even had the suspicion that she felt towards you how she did, I’d have ended it immediately.”

I nod my head, unsure of what to say next.

“I’m gonna be honest with you.”

I nod my head again.

“I never even proposed to Greta. I had your ring… er, my Mom’s ring hidden in a drawer in my office. Greta used to come by my office unexpectedly, and one day, while I was busy digging through some files, she was snooping through my desk and she somehow found it. After she opened the box she squealed, slid the ring on her finger, and assumed we were engaged.”

“Seriously?” I ask him, not even shocked at this point.

“Yeah. She kind of just moved into the spot of fiancée, and considering I had come to believe I didn’t deserve better I never corrected her.”

“Jack… I’m sorry.” I feel bad. I know this part isn’t exactly my fault. Maybe, if I’d have listened to him all those times he tried to explain himself after we’d broke up, he wouldn’t have been put in that situation.

He smiles at me and takes a deep breath, breathing it out slowly. “I’ve been in love with you since the day we met. I’d have done anything to get you back. I kept failing, though. It wasn’t only hard on you. Emi, I would still do anything to get you back.”

“Jack…”

“No, please, just let me finish.” He pulls my hand into his lap and stares down at it. “I saw Liam kiss you and it tore my heart out, even though I’ve no place in your life right now. I get why you didn’t want to speak to me after what you thought you saw. Please just know that if there is any chance for me to fix what’s been done, I will.”

I can feel my mouth hanging open, my tongue tied. I literally have no words so I nod my head. I know there has been some kind of spark that has my head and my heart at war right now, but I’m not sure exactly what it is. I don’t know if it’s love, or forgiveness, or even relief.

“I mean it, Ems, I’ll do anything. I know you’re not ready right now, and I’ll do my best to give you the space you need, but please don’t push me away anymore.”

“Hey, Ems… wanna go get—” Lily walks in my room, still in her pajamas, and stops midway through the door. “Oh… I didn’t mean to interrupt.” She flashes a smile my way “I’ll just come back later.”

Jack and I both watch her back away and close the door behind her.

“I don’t know what to say.” I shrug my shoulders. I can’t tell him the feelings racing through me right now. I need to figure out what they are first.

“Just say you’ll at least think about all this.” He pulls my hand up to his lips, sending a shiver through my entire body. “Please?”

“I will,” I say, unable to say no after everything I’ve heard recently. Jack smiles through the pain on his face. A real smile; one that reaches his eyes and my heart. I watch him stand and walk towards the door.

“Jack?”

He turns and looks back at me.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I was such a bitch these last couple of years.”

He nods before stopping at the door, hand on the knob, yet not moving. I push the blankets off me to follow him out and see what Lily wants.

“One more thing…” he says, turning back towards me. The look in his eyes as he pushes me against the wall and plants a kiss of desperation on my lips tells me he’s not immediately leaving my room.

And… Well… What can I do? I’m weak.

“You slept with him?” Lily spurts out coffee, her voice high and weird, gaining the attention of the entire Starbucks.

“In my defense, it wasn’t my fault.”

“How is that a defense?”

“I don’t know.” I sip my coffee hoping she’ll end the interview about my drama.

“Does that mean you’re getting back together?”

“I don’t think so; he asked me to think about things.”

“And…?”

“It’s only been two hours.”

“You. Slept. With. Him.” Lily jabs it out like strokes on a typewriter. “I think you gave him your answer.”

“No… That was just…” What was it? “Old feelings. It was just unfinished business.”

“Unfinished screwing?” She laughs and rolls her eyes. “You’re crazy, you just made this whole thing worse.”

“How? He’s as guilty as I am. It’s not like when we were finished I let him slip the engagement ring back on my finger. We have an understanding. The whole sleeping together thing was just instinct. He understands I need time to think about things.”

“Do you want to get back with Jack?”

“I don’t know. Maybe…?”

It feels good to say it aloud. Now that I know the truth about what happened that day, it’s easier for me to imagine myself with Jack again. It’s a lot easier to not hate him too. When I glance up out of my own thoughts I am alarmed by the giant, almost creepy smile on Lily’s face.

“Seriously, you’re considering this?” she asks.

“Who wouldn’t? Jack and I have history, we were nearly married. I owe it to myself to at least consider it.”

“What about Liam?”

“We just met. And like I’ve told you a thousand times before, it was like a business transaction, that’s all. Plus, who knows what might come of all this?”

“I know someone who would know.” Lily is nodding her head like a loon. “Aunt Maggie.”

“No, we’re not going to visit Maggie and her crystal ball. It’s weird.”

“So what? She’s always right. Remember at the engagement party, when she predicted that you and Jack would overcome a trial? Maybe this is it.”

“You called me crazy earlier, but it looks like you were projecting.”

“Come on… We used to love visiting Maggie for insights into our futures when we were in high school. One more reading won’t kill us. Maybe it will help with your decision.” I feel myself tapping my nails on the table and biting my lip nervously. “Fine, but you have to promise you won’t let this get out of hand.”

“Cross my heart and hope to die.” She crosses her heart as she says it through a giggle of excitement.

The drive across town takes a lot less time than I expected, and when we pull up to Aunt Maggie’s old run-down Sears kit craftsman home, she’s in the front yard clipping flowers.

“Oh!” she squeals as we get to the gate. “Emi! You came to visit, you darling girl you, and you brought Lily!” She motions us through the gate and up the porch stairs. “I haven’t seen you girls together on my porch in years.”

“Aunt Maggie,” Lily says, “we need some advice.”

“We?” I ask her, unaware that this would be a double reading.

“Of course, we,” Maggie says, patting both of Lily’s shoulders. “I have lots of advice as you girls well know. Come on in and I’ll get us some coffee, cookies, and advice.”

We follow Maggie into her cluttered living room that hasn’t changed since I was twelve years old. She has an entire wall full of books of every age and color of binding. Old toys from her childhood line the shelves in front of the books. Pictures in color and black-and-white adorn the walls from floor to ceiling. One shelf, in particular, holds pictures of her with her childhood friend Raluca and my mother. The crystal ball she treasures is in the center, glimmering in the sunlight.

“I have your favorites, srdieckas made with raspberry jam. You still love those, right?”

I glance down at the heart-shaped cookies with their gooey heart centers, and for a moment I’m twelve years old again. I always felt like a trip to Aunt Maggie’s was a trip to another world.

“I do.” I reach down for one, hoping they are as good as I remember.

“Aunt Maggie, Emi is wondering what you see for her and Jack in the future?”

“Listen, sweet girl. First, you have a question for yourself, and the answer is yes.”

“Yes?” Lily’s face turns a ghostly white and her eyes are as round as saucers.

“Yes.” Maggie smiles and pats Lily’s hands. “But onto my Emi.”

I feel myself holding my breath as I watch her wander in front of her shelves. She often would wander her house as she gave us readings in high-school. She told me it helps her see more clearly when she admires her past through her things.

“Jack is an amazing man.” She turns to me quickly. “You know this. But, he is about to have some news that could make him or break him. It will be up to you whether you choose to overlook this news, and up to him whether he chooses to handle it with grace and forgiveness.” She takes a cup of coffee from the tray she carried in earlier and takes a sip. “But there is a new piece to the puzzle I didn’t see before, and the aura from this one is nothing I’ve ever experienced.”

“What does that even mean?”

“You will know when the time is right. Your head will be confused but your heart will straighten it out. You have a busy year ahead of you.”

“You know in high school when we’d get these vague messages it was exciting to find the clues leading up to events? But now… it’s really just pissing me off.” I grab three more cookies off the tray and glance around the room at all the memories.

“Don’t stress over this, Emi. You need to do nothing to find the ways of your heart. It will come to you this time.” She smiles before wrapping her arms around me in a huge hug. “Your mother is so proud of you. She just can’t wait.”

“Wait for what?”

“The outcome.”

“Which is?”

“For your heart to decide.” Maggie winks at me, knowing I hate this game. There is a reason I don’t spend a lot of time with Aunt Maggie. I adore her, but I don’t adore the cryptic messages she finds so fun to give out.

“You remember,” Maggie says as we walk to the car. “You call me with anything, understood?”

“Understood.”

“What was that about?” I ask Lily after a mostly silent ride back to Evan’s house. “The whole weird yes thing, what aren’t you telling me?”

“What? Nothing…” She finally comes out of the trance she’s been in since we got there and smiles at me. “I don’t know. You know Maggie… all mystery all the time. I guess we’ll find out later.”

“Who is here?” I ask, noticing three extra cars in the driveway when we pull in.

“I don’t know, maybe they’re having a honeymoon going away party.” Lily laughs as she says it. “I wouldn’t put it past Hannah. You know how she loves the spotlight all the time.”

“Ain’t that the truth?” I sigh.

When we walk in the front door, Evan, Josh and Hannah are sitting on the stairs together, all with confused looks on their faces.

“What’s going on?” As soon as the words come out of my mouth, I hear the screeching from a room upstairs.

“Greta,” they say at the same time.

“She’s here?”

“For the last hour. She brought Amelia and her father.”

“Why? Are they going to tie Jack down and make him take her back?” I laugh, knowing what I know about this morning.

“Um…” Hannah’s nervous smile through clenched teeth tells me that whatever it is, is bad. “I’m not sure yet.” She cranes her neck trying to get a better listen to the voices up the stairs.

“You guys are sitting here to eavesdrop?” Lily asks them

“Obviously.” Hannah rolls her eyes at me.

“Well… what are they saying?” I ask her, more than willing to participate.

“I… uh…” Hannah shrugs her shoulders. “I’m not quite sure yet. I’ve heard ‘Greta isn’t the person she once was’, ‘Jack owes it to her to as a man’, and—”

“That’s all so far.” Evan butts in, squeezing Hannah’s hand.

I can tell that’s not all.

“Josh… You should help me in the kitchen,” Lily says before wandering off towards the kitchen. We all watch them questioningly.

“You guys are all weird.” I start up the stairs to drop my purse in my bedroom, but only make it a few steps from the top, when the door down the landing swings open violently, hitting the wall behind it and causing something inside to crash to the floor.

“If that’s the kind of father you want to be, then we’ll see you in court!” Greta’s father storms out, glaring at me as he walks by. Greta follows him out, a blank stare on her face. I’m not sure she’s even seen me; even though she’s walked right past me her head is clearly somewhere else.

Then I hear Amelia’s voice. “For God’s sake, Jack, this is a disaster. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me yesterday.”

“I didn’t know yesterday, Mom; how could I have told you when even I didn’t know myself? Besides, what happened yesterday changed everything.”

I stand still, listening to them. They clearly don’t know that they’re being overheard by the whole house.

“Well, you know now. Today changes everything, Daddy.” When she walks out she spots me immediately and forces a smile. “Emi.” She continues past me towards the stairs, causing Hannah and Evan to jump up and pretend they’ve not been straining from midway down to hear them.

“Daddy? No,” I say under my breath, through an internal panic that can only be described as my heart stopping. I know I’ve been confused about us, but things are quickly becoming clear. I inch towards the door but make it just in time for Jack to spot me before nearly closing it on me.

“Emi. Did you uh— H-how long have you been here?” he stutters.

“Why did your mom just call you Daddy?” I ask, but already I know what it must mean. Please let me have heard it wrong.

“Shit.” Jack never curses, only when he’s drunk or in a mess he can’t fix. “She’s pregnant.”

“What?” My heart sinks to my stomach so hard it almost makes me sick. “She’s pregnant with—”

“Yup… Supposedly with my kid. I’m completely screwed.” He’s standing in the doorway, his fingers interlaced on top of his head, a confused look on his face.

“And she just told you today?” I fight back tears. This cannot be happening. I don’t know who I feel worse for, him or me.

“Yes. I guess she found out last week and didn’t want to tell me while you were here. But after yesterday, she decided today was the perfect time to announce it. And fuck me over, yet again.”

“I…” I stand stunned, not only at him using a word that normally flows pretty freely from my mouth, but the confusion of what this means for either of us.

“I know.” He sighs and grabs a bag, throwing his stuff into it, not even folding his clothes first. This is so unlike Jack that I’m worried. “I gotta go.”

“Go where?” I walk closer to him.

“I don’t know.” He stops packing for a minute and turns to me. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Everything.” He grabs his bag, looks at me as if he needs to say something else, but shakes his head and storms out of the door.

I follow behind him, nearly in a run, passing my friends and family in a blur. “Jack! Please don’t run away. Please…” I call to him, looking over at Evan and silently pleading with him to help me.

“Jack, wait…” Evan follows him to the front door, but Jack slams it shut before Evan can grab it. Evan glances at me but all I can do is shake my head and swallow down the lump in throat.

What the hell is happening?

Chapter Sixteen

Six Years Ago

Portland, Oregon

Malibu, California

The Getaway

“He asked you to go away with him? Already?” Lily almost drops her fork into her lasagna when I say it. Like it’s such a shock that a man could ask me to go away with him. Even though it has never actually happened.

“Yeah. I guess his parents own a house in Malibu, California.”

“Out of state?”

“Yes, Malibu… Like where Barbie lives.” I wink at her.

“What did you say?”

“I said yes, duh.”

“I hope you’re planning on having sex with him, because guys don’t take girls to fancy Malibu beach houses for a long weekend and not expect to get laid. Not to mention that you’ve been dating six months and you still haven’t given it up.” She scrunches her face in confusion.

“I wanted to be sure!” I glance around the restaurant to see who now knows what a prude I am since she’s talking so loud about it. No one appears to be listening in, but who knows?

“Sure of what?”

“That he wasn’t just one of those guys who would screw me and then move onto the next.” I shrug my shoulders. “Apparently, he’s not.”

“I’ve told you the whole time, Ems, he’s a good guy. You should stop holding him at arm’s length like you’re scared of him. This is a big step in your relationship.”

“I know it is, and I’m so freaking nervous. I have no idea what this is going to be like.”

“Don’t even pack clothes, you won’t need them.” She takes a bite of her lasagna before nearly choking on it when she looks up at my horrified face. “I’m kidding! If I know Jack, and I think I do, it’ll be all romance and rainbows and he’ll set the tone for your entire relationship.”

“A good tone?”

“A rich, romantic tone, but yes, probably good too. Maybe we should go shopping?”

“For what?”

“Uh, hello, have you not been listening? For lingerie ya weirdo. You do want to make him want you on your first time, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then you need good lingerie. Have any?”

I think about my underwear drawer for a minute. “I have a pair of bra and panties that match.”

“You’re so sad.”

“I know, seriously, you have to help me.”

“I know. Don’t worry, I will.” She grabs her phone and starts tapping away, planning goodness knows what, in order to get me ready to consummate my relationship.

When we walk into the shop I’m almost a little scared. This is no Victoria’s Secret. Lily’s friend Merri used this shop when she was shopping for her wedding night. They make private appointments and do fittings to suit your body type.

“I don’t know about this…” The room is filled with racks of swanky lingerie, expensive underwear, and floor-to-ceiling mirrors. “I feel like I’m in a secret sex shop.”

“Ladies!” A middle-aged woman in a dress far too tight and far too short comes walking in from the back part of the shop, carrying an armload of what looks like hot pink lace string bikinis.

“Are you Esther?” Lily asks.

“I am!” Esther has a sing-song type voice. “You must be Lily! I’m thrilled to meet you!” When she speaks, every single sentence ends with either a question mark or an exclamation mark. Lingerie obviously excites her.

“And you must be Emi!” She looks at me with a huge smile on her face. “Lily told me a bit about you, and based on what she said I pulled out a few items for you to try on. They’re waiting in here…” She leads me to a giant dressing room with three-way mirrors and a plush velvet couch. “Try them on and come out for our opinions.”

“I have to model?”

“Well…” She glances over at Lily. “You don’t have to come out, but we’re here to help you make the best decision for this special occasion. You’re in a safe place and there is no one here with us.”

“No cameras?”

She bursts out a laugh then quickly stifles it away. “No! No. No cameras; that would make the news, dear. No, go, try and model.”

I walk into the dressing room, glad there is a locking door as opposed to a curtain, and glance through the few things hanging on a rack. This lady has really high hopes for a girl to get laid. Even just looking at the skimpy, lacy, crotchless selections she’s made make me feel dirty. There is only one set that I will try on, and that’s only because it has the most material. It’s see-through, but it counts, I think.

“Yeah… I don’t think these will work,” I say, struggling to pull the panties of the lavender baby doll set past my hips.

“Why?” Lily calls back.

“Because I don’t wear a size 2 and I’m not trying out for a porn movie.” I grab the robe and the… I dunno… outfits, and open the door. “Can’t I pick something? I feel like these all say I’m trying too hard. Jack is gonna know something is up.”

“Something is up… You’re losing your Jackinity.” Lily and Esther both laugh at Lily’s joke.

“Stop. I’m serious, don’t you have anything like… just normal but sexy?” I glance over at Esther who is sitting at a desk with a hot pink fluorescent light around the top.

“Normal?” She hops off her stool and heads to a far section of the store out of sight for a moment, and returns with a few hangers in her hands. “Like these?”

When she holds them out I know I’ve found my normal. Light gray, lace, girly bra and matching panties. “YES!”

“Ems… Those are so… boring.”

“I like boring.” I pull my actual double-digit size from her hand and head back into the dressing room. “Jack likes boring, too!” I yell through the door. Finally, I look like a normal, twenty-something girl who is having sex and not trying to look like she’s the lead in Emi Does Malibu.

“Let’s see it,” Lily yells back at me.

I hesitantly walk out into the store, checking first for eyes of people that weren’t here earlier and flashing red lights of hidden cameras that Esther insists don’t exist.

“Well?” I ask, but both Lily and Esther have poker faces. “Not good?”

“It looks lovely, dear, but for your first time don’t you want to wow him?” She holds up a bright red negligée and swings it back and forth.

“No. If he’s not wowed by me being me, then he’s not the guy I want.”

“Oh…” Esther lays the red nightie on her desk. “You’re a sweet girl. I have this set in a couple other colors if you’d like more than one?”

“Load me up.” I glance at Lily whose face is not so approving.

“This, is it?”

“Yup… I’m not as flashy as you. Or as easy.” I smile before disappearing into the dressing room before she can throw something at me.

“I’m not easy, I just want to test-drive my men to see if I should go on a cross-country trip with them.”

“Whatever.” I laugh at her ridiculous comparison. I like to play it safe. That’s just me, though. From me, there will be no sleeping with a guy on the first date to see if I’d like there to be a second. That’s Lily’s game and she is good at it.

I’ll admit, though, Josh is the first one for a while to pass the cross-country test.

Today is the day, the day I go to Malibu with Jack. I’ve never been on an overnight trip with a boyfriend before and now I’m exiting a plane in southern California.

“You get to meet my sister, Hannah. She’s really excited to meet the girl who’s stolen my heart.”

“Aw… I stole your heart?” Mine races in my chest as we walk through the airport. “Wait, your sister will be there?”

“Yeah, my whole family, they’re really excited to meet you.”

“Jack! Oh my, God, you didn’t tell me I was meeting your family. I’m not ready.”

I stop walking and try to stop myself from hyperventilating. Why would he surprise me with this? Meeting a guy’s parents for the first time is a big deal. Meeting them when you’ve prepared for a weekend of no clothes is an even bigger deal.

“Don’t be nervous, babe. They’re gonna love you.” He runs his hand down my arm before squeezing my hand reassuringly.

“Really? Cause this is important.”

“I know.” He nods his head, agreeing with me.

“I mean like… this is a we’re-in-a-serious-relationship kind of important.”

“I know.” He says again, with only a smile.

How is he not worried about this? We’ve never even talked about how serious we are or where the relationship is going. .

“So, what you’re saying is, that we’ve reached that point, the serious relationship point, even though we’ve never… you know?”

I watch him laugh before glancing around at the people walking past us. “Yes, I’m ready to hit that serious relationship mark. I actually wanted to… uh… talk to you about something this weekend.” He nervously runs his hand through his hair.

Oh my God, he’s going to propose. This is way too soon; we haven’t even slept together yet. Please don’t hyperventilate Ems, this is not the time or the place.

“Talk about something?” When it comes out all squeaky I know I’m not playing the cool card I’d intended to.

“It’s nothing bad. I promise.” He takes my hand in his. “Ready?”

No.

“Sure.”

I’m anything but ready, but I’m not telling him no.

The house is nothing short of spectacular. Even Barbie couldn’t compete. It’s a modern-style house sitting on a rock bluff overlooking the ocean. The deck surrounds an infinity pool and there’s a path from the back patio all the way to the beach.

“Hello, Jack, and you must be Emi?” We’re greeted by an older woman with dark hair pulled up into a perfect bun at the back of her head. Her face is pulled unnaturally tight, and made up like she just walked off Broadway. “Isn’t she just darling?” she asks Jack, as if I’m not standing right in front of her. “I’m Jack’s mother Amelia, and this…” She motions towards the next room at a man who’s sitting so still on the couch I didn’t even notice him. “This is Robert, Jack’s father.”

Robert glances in my direction with nothing more than a nod before going back to the paper sitting on the table in front of him. “It’s nice to meet you both.”

“How nice that you could join us. I’m sure Jack has spoken to you about the sleeping arrangements?”

“Sleeping arrangements?”

“Mom, we just walked in.”

“You will be sharing a room with Hannah, Jack’s sister. She’s out by the pool.”

Why the hell did I go to the trouble to buy lingerie in the preparation for our big night if I won’t even be sharing a room with Jack?

“You can bring your bag up. Jack will show you the way.”

I follow Jack up the stairs and into a room so pink that I feel like I just walked into a bottle of Pepto. “How old is Hannah?”

“Too old for pink.” He laughs. “She doesn’t come out here often so the room hasn’t been updated since she was about fourteen.” He laughs as he looks around the room. “Listen, I normally sleep out in the pool house so…” He glances towards the door. “I don’t expect you to stay in here. My parents never go out there so they’ll never know you’re there.”

“What about your sister?”

“She’s cool. She’ll cover.”

“What if she doesn’t like me?” I ask, worried his whole family will think I’m a complete whore if they find out I’m sneaking into Jack’s room at night.

“She doesn’t like anyone. But I’ll make sure she does this.”

“Oh.” I feel like I’m sixteen years old again and quietly creeping out of my house to meet a boy.

“I wasn’t going to say this right now, but I know this isn’t going exactly how you expected, so now is as good a time as any.” He sits on one of the pink twin beds and pulls me down with him.

“Jack, I can’t have sex with you on your sister’s single bed.” I scrunch my face up in disgust.

“God, no, I’m glad you feel that way. But that wasn’t what I was going to say.” A nervous laugh escapes his lips. “I asked you to come here so you could meet my family because I wanted to take things to the next step.”

Oh my God. This is it. He’s going to propose in a hot-pink fourteen-year-old girl’s bedroom. Not exactly how I pictured it, but oh well.

“OK,” I say, through the butterflies swirling in my chest.

“We’ve been together now for six months and it’s been the best six months ever.”

“Really?”

“Of course.” He stops and takes a deep breath. “I am falling in love with you, Emi, and from here on I don’t want to see anyone but you. I think you could be the one.”

Has he been seeing other people until now? No, Emi, stop. That’s not what he’s saying. He just said he loves you. Why did I think he was proposing?

“Did you hear me?”

“Yes, yes. Me too.” My heart flutters in my chest. I wish I had more of a way with words that could maybe impress him just a tad more.

“You too?”

“I mean… I think you’re the one too. I fell in love with you before I even officially met you.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry, I know this is so romantic but I’m so nervous about being here with your family. I don’t want to ruin this.”

“You’re not going to ruin it.” He pulls me off the bed with him. “Come on, you can meet Hannah then we’ll go relax.”

I follow Jack out to the pool and see a tall blonde wearing a pink tiny bikini, lying next to the pool. She’s perfect: her hair, her skin, her designer swimsuit. She’s completely the opposite of me.

“Hannah… I want you to meet someone.”

We both watch her turn her head in our direction and prop herself up on her elbows, looking me over through her mirrored lenses.

“So, you must be the infamous Emi?” She lifts her sunglasses and lays her magazine on her chair. The way she says it I can already tell she’s not impressed. I’ve been here less than thirty minutes and so far this is the worst trip of my life, even though the man of my dreams just basically told me he’s falling for me.

“I am. It’s nice to meet you too, Hannah.”

“I’m sure it is.” She pats the chair next to her and flashes a million-dollar smile at me. “Come sit, I can’t wait to get to know you.”

I glance at Jack, who looks as nervous as I am about me having a private chat with Hannah. She has a quality about her that screams I’m going to chew you up and spit you out. I’m a little scared, but I followed her command and sit down.

“So…” She starts talking but stops and looks over at Jack who is still standing off to the side of the patio watching us. She lifts her glasses “We’re fine, Jack. Go do whatever it is that you do.” She rolls her eyes, slides her glasses back on and then turns back to me.

I nervously chew on my lip. Hannah is intimidating, and I didn’t expect this. Jack and I haven’t talked much about Hannah other than that he has a younger sister whose dream is to be a southern California socialite. Not only is she gorgeous, she’s also perfect. She doesn’t have a single blemish on her skin. Her makeup is flawless, even in the sun. Her long blonde hair is perfect, even in the wind. She seems practically supernatural.

“So…” She pauses dramatically. “Tell me what you love the most about my brother.”

“He’s…” I pause, not the way she did, but to pick out just one thing that I love about him. Even though it’s only been six months, I’m more in love than I ever thought possible.

“Rich.” She interrupts my train of thought.

“What?”

“He’s rich.” Why do people keep saying this?

“OK.”

“So, you’re with him for the money?”

“No. No, I didn’t even know he had money. This isn’t his money, though, it’s his parents’.”

“Technicality. So, if not the money, then what?” She removes the glasses altogether and sits up in her chair. “What’s so special about Jack?” The way she says his name makes me cringe a little. I know brothers and sisters are often pretty mean to each other, but I could never say Evan’s name implying I was better than him.

“He’s amazing, he’s a gentleman, he’s gorgeous, he’s kind, he’s…”

“Ugh… I get it. You think you’re in love with him. They all do.” She rolls her eyes at me and lies down again. If eye-rolling was a sport I have a feeling Hannah would be the champion. “You’re just one of many of the women he’s brought here to meet us. He always thinks he’s found the one and then a few weeks later they’re gone.”

“Gone?”

“Not dead, but you know, dumped.”

“Oh.” I bite my lip so hard I can taste the blood. “That sucks.”

“Not really.”

“So, you don’t like any of Jack’s girlfriends?”

“I wouldn’t say any… but few. Jack is… Well, he’s too easy to fall in love.”

“He falls in love a lot?” Crap. Not good for me at all.

“Well… I don’t know if ‘love’ is the right word, but he’s been with some girls if you know what I mean.” She sighs and lifts her bikini bottom to check her tan line. “I guess if you make it out here more than once we’ll know that he’s more serious about you than the others.”

I don’t really have anything to say to that. How can a conversation like this follow the one I just had with Jack?

“Quit the crap, Hannah. You’re not scaring this one off.” Jack suddenly reappears on the patio, obviously having been listening from somewhere he couldn’t be seen. “Either you’re nice to this one, or you’ll never meet another. Stop acting like you’re Queen Bee of Nothing.”

“JACK!” She screams at him, like a dramatic younger sister would, and throws her sunglasses across the patio before disappearing into the house.

“Ignore her. She tries to act important a lot.”

“Do you really bring a lot of girls here?”

“No. I think you’re the second. Like I said… She’s a bit much, especially for the truth. The less you listen to her the better off you’ll be.” He reassures me with a kiss on the lips and lies down in the chair Hannah had been using. “She’s a bully, Ems. I meant what I said earlier. I love you.”

“You love me?” He didn’t say exactly that earlier, he said he was falling in love with me. This is a whole new level.

“I do.”

“I love you too. I even bought something for you especially for this trip, before I knew your family would be here.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, but it’s not exactly, uh, family-friendly if you know what I mean.” His eyes get as big as saucers and his smile is contagious. “Hopefully, I’ll be able to show it to you later.”

The look on his face tells me I’ll probably be able to show it to him many times over. Just as long as we don’t get caught by his parents.

Chapter Seventeen

Present Day

Portland, Oregon

The Friend Zone

“You have to find him,” Hannah pleads with me as Evan carries her bags out to their car. They were supposed to be at the airport an hour ago, but it’s been a rather sleepless night. After Jack stormed out last night no one has heard from him since, and he’s not answering any calls or texts.

“Hannah, they’ll do everything they can,” Evan reminds her. “Jack is a grown man. He’ll take care of himself.”

“I know, but how horrible to lose his fiancée, the love of his life, and find out he’s going to be a father – all in one weekend?” Hannah has been crying since this revelation last night. I don’t think crying is the way you want to go on your honeymoon.

“Go, Hannah,” I say. “We will find Jack and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”

“Promise?”

“Of course.” What am I doing? The last thing I need is to be promising things I have no control over. In all honesty, I don’t know what I would even say if I found Jack right now. I know he’s going through something so much bigger than I know what to do with. But all I can think about is how this affects me and the inner turmoil I’ve got going on. The whole Greta being pregnant thing has muddled up my picturing us together again. “Lily and Josh are right here with me to help.” I shoot Lily a help me look, only to watch her roll her eyes.

“I know you’ll find him. He needs you,” Hannah says over her shoulder as Evan leads her out towards their car. “Call me and let me know!”

Jack doesn’t need me. If he did, he wouldn’t have run out without me. What he needs is a family counselor.

“We will.” We all wait until the door clicks closed before exchanging looks. “Shit. How am I supposed to pull this off?”

“I’m sure you’ll find a way,” Lily says, before she and Josh both turn to head towards their room.

“Wait, where are you two going?”

“To pack. We leave in the morning. I suggest you pack too, so you're ready in case you’re on the hunt the rest of the time we’re here.”

“Guys… You have to help me, I don’t even know where to start.” I haven’t been close to Jack in a while. I don’t know his habits or his favorite places anymore. I don’t even know where he lives.

Lily nods Josh towards their room before walking in my direction.

“Ems…” She walks me towards the couch in the living room. “I think this is something you need to do on your own. Jack needs someone right now, and given the situation, I highly doubt he’s going to come out and ask for your advice. He probably feels like he’s ruined the only chance he had to get you back. I guarantee, he wants to talk to you, probably even needs to. Of all the people here, you know him the best. So you need to find him. Think of all the places he used to love to disappear to, and go there.”

I don’t want her to be right. I know that she is, though. But why would he run away only for me to have to hunt him down, when he could have just stayed and made it easier for me? Maybe he doesn’t actually want to be found.

“Fine. Pack for me. If you don’t see me between now and then I’ll meet you at the airport in the morning.”

“Deal.” She smiles and turns to the stairwell. “We got the mansion to ourselves for the night!” she yells up the stairs to Josh, who peers around the doorframe with a perverted smile.

“Ha-ha… Please don’t defile any of my stuff. I’ll be back.” I grab my purse and a set of keys off the entryway table and head out to the car Evan let me borrow. There are two places I think Jack could be: his office, or the yacht his dad owns that he loves like his own. Or maybe there is another place I know nothing about. Unfortunately, if that is the case, it’s going to make this hunt even harder.

As I take the elevator up to Jack’s office, all the memories of the last time I was here come racing back to me. My heart feels like it might beat right out of my throat, and every part of me is sweating, even my ass. This is one of those fears that people force others to face so they can get over it. It’s terrifying. The ding of the elevator doors causes me to nearly jump out of my skin, and I have to force myself to creep out into the hallway slowly towards his office.

I lightly knock on his door but don’t get an answer, so I try the handle, but it’s locked. Jack never used to lock his office door. I guess if there’s anything he learned from the whole Madison episode was to lock his door when he left the office. Or maybe, Greta helping herself to an engagement ring probably helped drive that lesson home too.

“Can I help you?” A woman’s voice behind me causes me to spin round, nearly out of breath even though I’m not moving. “I’m sorry.” A young dark-haired woman in a suit, carrying a Starbucks coffee, approaches me. “I’m Heidi, Mr Cabot’s assistant. I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“No, no, my fault. Is Jack… I mean, Mr Cabot, is he in today?” I watch the woman furrow her brows and frown.

“I’m sorry, he’s actually called out for the rest of the week. Is there anything I can help you with?”

“No, thank you.” I quickly walk towards the elevator trying to escape before running into anyone I used to know. He took off for the whole week? I guess it makes sense. I feel like I’ve had a bad week, but I think Jack’s has been a lot worse.

“Emi? Is that you?” Damn it. I’m not fast enough, and Andy’s voice stops me in my tracks.

“Andy, hi.” I wave at him.

“My God, it is you. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” His familiar smile actually calms me a bit. His hair is a bit grayer and he’s wearing glasses now, but otherwise he still looks the same way he did the last time I saw him.

“Me neither, actually.”

“What brings you into the office? Did you finally forgive Jackie boy?” He laughs as he walks towards me.

“Um… No, well, kind of, I guess. Have you seen him?”

“Not since Friday. Come on into my office, Emi. I want to chat with you for a moment.”

“Actually, Andy, I can’t—”

“I won’t take no for an answer.” He stands in front of me at his doorway.

I sigh with a nod. There is no way out. “OK. But I really only have a few minutes.”

“Perfect.” He walks to the chairs in front of his desk, sitting in one and motioning me to the other. “Jack made some mistakes with you.”

I feel myself nodding. Yes he did.

“I told him to do whatever he had to do to work it out, and he tried. He missed hours of work, came up with all kind of plans and ideas, and yet he always came back alone. It was heartbreaking to watch.”

“Andy, I—”

“Emi, Jack hasn’t been the same since the day you left. That May girl means not even half of what you did to him. She’s just a distraction, a replacement to take his mind off things. When he was with her it was like he was going through the motions, but his head was always somewhere else. I’m going to be honest with you, he’s not even the same lawyer he was since you broke up, but I’ve never had the heart to talk to him about it. I’ve been assigning him cases that don’t require a lot of deep thought, and sadly he hasn’t even noticed. That’s not the Jack we know and love.” He sighs and smiles at me sadly. “I love Jack like a son, you know that. He’s a broken kid.”

“I’m sorry,” I say. He’s not describing a Jack I know. The Jack I knew did everything he could to be successful at his job.

“I just want you to hear him with your whole heart, Emi. Don’t be so stubborn that you won’t at least allow him to prove he’s never moved on from you, despite the way it may seem. You two are a perfect match.”

“Thanks. I’m actually starting to hope you’re right.”

I watch as he stands from his chair. He nods towards the doorway with a grin. “You can go now.”

I nod at Andy and stand to leave. As I reach the doorway Andy says my name again, causing me to turn around. “Jack loves you more now than he ever has.”

“How do you know this?”

“He tells me every day he’s here. Every day since you left he comes in here for coffee, and we discuss ways he could get through to you and possibly bring you back home with him. Every. Single. Day. May was just a mistake to try and get over you. He never did though.”

“What?”

“He never really wanted her. He’s just gone through the motions, hoping that one day he’d be able to move on. But when you never showed interest I think he gave up.”

“Do you by chance know where he could be?” I ask him, hoping that since they’re so close maybe Jack called him.

“Unfortunately, I don’t. He was a man of very few words when he called this morning. Just said he needed a break.”

When he says this, I almost start to ugly cry right here in Andy’s office. It just hit me. The war is over. I love Jack.

“I gotta go.” I can’t stand here and talk about it anymore. I need to fix it. Even though I’m not sure how, or what exactly I’m fixing.

First things first, though. I have to deal with Liam.

When I walk into the bar, Liam is standing behind the counter wiping out cups. A smile spreads across his face, which makes my heart sink. The minute I left Andy’s office I knew what I needed to do.

“Hey there. How’s my favorite unlucky bridesmaid?”

“Liam… I wanted to talk to you.”

“Uh-oh. Sounds like we’re breaking up.” He winks at me before walking around the counter and taking a seat on one of the barstools. “I think you should do it.”

“What?”

“I saw the way he looked at you at the wedding. And when a man looks at a woman that way, especially after everything you two have been through, you should be with him.”

“You’re talking about Jack?”

“Who else?”

“I’ve been really stubborn, and I might have led you on a little. I never do that, and I wanted to apologize before I left.”

“Don’t worry about it. Actually, I should be thanking you.”

“You should?”

“Yes. I asked for a favor in exchange for our deal, and without even knowing it you gave me one.” He pauses with a small smile. “I’ve been playing it safe for far too long, and you reminded me why I shouldn’t do that.” He’s nodding his head, through an almost frown. “Jack loves you.”

“I know.”

“Do you love him?”

“I think so.” I nod at him. For some reason, I can’t say it out loud yet. There is too much unknown.

He laughs with a nod. “There is something I didn’t tell you before I left the wedding last night.

“What?”

“I didn’t realize it until the middle of the blow-up, but, I’ve met Jack before. He came in a few weeks ago, by himself. He sat right here and drank.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. He looked like he was troubled, so I got him talking for a few minutes, and I felt for him. I wish I’d realized it was him sooner.”

“What did he say?”

“He was nervous about seeing the only girl he’d truly loved. The girl whose heart he broke, even though things weren’t quite as they seemed. He felt like it was his fault that you were both miserable, possibly forever. I’ll tell ya, I’ll never forget the way he talked about you. He misses you, and if I’m reading him right, he truly loves you.”

“Thank you for telling me.” My God, I am an idiot. I could have fixed this years ago and saved us both so much heartache.

“My pleasure. You’re a great girl, and he’s a lucky man. I’ve no doubt you two will work things out.”

“Thank you, Liam, for everything.” I hop off my stool and hug him. “You made this weekend a little easier.” I head for the front door. “You have my number and if you’re ever in Dallas…”

“I’m gonna call ya.” He waves as I walk through the door, his face a combo of happy and sad.

Liam is a great guy, and in any other situation I’d have jumped at the opportunity to date him. I’m making the right choice, though. All the leads I have today are all taking me back towards Jack.

To be honest, for the most part I’ve never felt the way I do right now about Jack. It’s almost overwhelming. Like I’ve been struck by lightning from my head to my loins. The only part I wish I could delete from this equation is Greta’s pregnancy. If it wasn’t for that, everything would be perfect.

I jab Lily’s number into my phone before I start my car.

“Hello?”

“Did he come back?” I ask.

“Not yet. But there is something here I think you should see.”

“I’m on my way.” I end the call and pull away from the bar, glad that Evan’s house isn’t far. What could there be? Luckily it only takes two minutes to get to my brother’s house, and when I pull up I see what the something is. Amelia is waiting for me, sitting in one of the two rocking chairs Hannah has out on the front porch.

“Amelia, what are you doing here?” I ask her, a little worried that something has gone wrong.

“Emi, I’m glad you’re here. Have a seat.”

“What’s going on?” I ask her nervously.

“I’m going to assume you know what’s going on between Jack and Greta?” The seriousness of her face makes me squirm uncomfortably in the chair. The good feeling I had fifteen minutes ago is quickly fading.

“Yes, he told me.”

“Well, I am here to set you straight.”

“Straight?” I ask, confused.

“Greta has proved to be a compulsive liar, and I honestly think she may be a tad mentally unstable, but that’s just my own opinion of a girl who’s taken complete advantage of my son.” She pauses for a moment and looks to me with her lips pursed and her eyes narrowed. “Greta Mayfair is not pregnant.”

“What?!” I half-yell at her in shock, jumping out of the chair.

“I found it peculiar that she should choose the day after Jack broke things off with her to suddenly announce that she’s pregnant, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but… Greta is a psycho.”

Amelia stifles a pinched laugh and nods her head in agreement. “That’s one word for it. When she announced this pregnancy, I was suspicious and decided to look further into it – and I’ve discovered that Greta is not pregnant at all.” Her tone is steady and unnerved.

“How did you find this out?”

“I paid her a visit and she told me.”

I let out the breath I’ve been holding in and laugh almost uncontrollably. Greta is not pregnant. It was another lie. Oh my God, she’s not pregnant!

I burst into tears, as Amelia stares at me with a shocked look on her face.

“Sit down.” She motions to the other chair. “Are you OK?”

“So… She’s really not pregnant?” I bite my lip, unsure of what to say now.

“She’s really not pregnant. I questioned whether she was telling the truth as well, but I drove her to my doctor’s office for an ultrasound as proof. When we got there she confessed in the parking lot. There is no baby. Her and Jack are officially over, and she’s preparing to leave the country with her father so she can discover who she truly is.” Amelia leans towards my chair. “But I wouldn’t be surprised if that too was a lie, covering the fact that she’s admitted herself to a hospital to fix whatever is wrong with her.”

She laughs to herself. I sit silently, nodding my head.

“Well… Are you interested in finding him or not?”

“Yes.” The smile that’s now spread across my face, through the few tears still escaping probably make me look just as crazy as Greta. “Where is he?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” She reaches into the purse sitting near her chair and hands me a plane ticket to Cancun San Lucas.

“He’s disappeared there more than once while he and Greta were together, I’ve been told. I found out that it was someplace you said you wanted to get married one day, so I assume he’d go there because of you. I already called the hotel Greta told me he stays at, and he’s there. It’s the one in the notes here.” I glance at the card inside, and the same hotel we stayed at when Lily got married is written there.

My heart stops. He goes there. Even though he was on board with the huge wedding Amelia wanted us to have, he remembered what I said that night so long ago when I thought he didn’t hear me. And he tries to relive it anytime he misses me.

“Thank you.” I realize I’m crying again when Amelia stands and pulls me towards her for a stiff hug.

“I’m so sorry, Emi. You didn’t deserve any of this. If I had only known sooner what had really happened that day you two broke up, maybe I could have helped get to the bottom of it before it went this far.” She holds me at arm’s length, sincerely apologizing for everything up until now.

“Thank you.”

“Go.” She nods before walking away from me to her car.

I turn to walk into the house, but Lily greets me at the door with my suitcase, with Josh not far behind her. “Let’s go.” she says.

“But—”

“She told us before you even got here.”

“Oh my God, Lily! I almost can’t believe what’s happening! This is the right thing, right?”

“You really are going to ask me that now?” She laughs and walks my suitcase out to the car, tossing it into the back seat and opening the door. “We’ll drop you off at the airport. You know you want this, so stop trying to over-think it.”

“Yeah.” Why must I bawl at a moment that should be the feel-good moment of my life? Well… the almost feel-good moment of my life. “I do. Did you guys know about this?” I ask them and watch them both shake their heads.

“Not until about an hour ago. We couldn’t have planned this out if we were writing a movie.” Lily laughs and reaches over to grab Josh’s hand. “It’s beyond romantic, Ems. And it’s not even over.”

“Right.”

The hardest part is still waiting for me: how to break all this to Jack.

Chapter Eighteen

Six and a Half Years Ago

Waterfront Park, Portland, Oregon

The Meet Cute

“Oh my God, I am so sorry.”

Even though I have my hands over my face, I know his voice. Never in a million years did I picture actually meeting him at the exact moment I’m assaulted by a rogue Frisbee. When I peer through my fingers he’s kneeling in front of me, with ten other guys behind him, reaching for my hands.

“Let me see it,” he says, wrapping his hands over mine. “Go get her some ice!” He yells at someone near him. “Is anything broken?”

When he pulls my hands from my face he lets out a little gasp. “Is it bad?” I ask him, worried about what he’s seeing. Is my eyeball hanging from its socket? Is there a gaping wound? Is my brain (or lack of brain) visible?

He laughs. “Nah, you’re going to have a black eye, but I think your skull is still intact. I’m really sorry.”

“Oh.” I wave my hand at him trying to play it cool. “It’s no problem. It’s actually why I came down here. I haven’t had enough black eyes in my lifetime, and I was needing a memorable Fourth of July story to tell my grandkids.”

“Well… I don’t think you have concussion. Your wit seems to still be still intact.” He laughs and sits next to me, inspecting my face closely. “It didn’t break the skin but it is starting to swell. I feel like a real ass.”

“You should, you ruined my face.” I try to joke through the pain.

“It’s a very pretty face too.” He smiles at me sympathetically. “I feel like maybe I know you from somewhere.”

“You do, I’m the girl who makes great coffee.”

He comes to my coffee window nearly every day. His passenger seat is always piled high with books, and every day he orders the same thing: an Americano with room for cream, with two sugars. I never talk to him, apart from taking his order. How can I? He’s beautiful. Probably easily the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever not formally met. His baby face melts my heart every time he smiles at me as I hand him his coffee.

“Right! You are the coffee girl. I knew I knew you. How weird is this?”

“Weird that I don’t spend every waking moment at the coffee shop?”

“No.” His friend returns with the ice. He gently raises it to my eye that is feeling puffier by the second. “Weird because I always want to talk to you but, you know… In the drive-up, there isn’t a lot of time for conversations.”

“You wanted to talk to me?” I’m a little surprised by this, because he’s always so nonchalant at the drive-up. Like he’s avoiding chit-chat with random coffee gurus.

“Of course. You’re gorgeous, and you do make a heck of a coffee.” He pulls away the ice pack to see if it’s working. He grits his teeth and scrunches his face up, obviously disappointed in my healing progress during the past sixty seconds. “How about I make this up to you today?”

I glance over at my friends, who are all anxiously nodding their heads. They act as if I’ve never met a random gorgeous man before.

“I’m kind of not looking my best today. Are you sure you want to be seen with me?”

“Of course, but luckily for you, my father owns one of the yachts on the river here and I’ve got it all to myself today. So you won’t have to face a lot of people with your… injury.” He points out at one of the larger boats docked at the port. “What do you say? The fireworks look a lot better from the water.”

“What about your friends?” I glance with my one good eye at the group of guys standing around watching my pathetic attempt at pretending I’m not jumping for joy on the inside.

“These guys don’t mind. Right, guys?”

They all mumble something at us before grabbing the Frisbee and going back to their game.

“I’ll go, but on one condition,” I say.

“Anything.”

“You tell me your name?”

“Right. God, I’m sorry. I’m Jack Cabot. And you are?”

“Emi Harrison.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Emi. Let’s go.”

It’s not easy to follow someone through a crowd when you’re holding an ice pack over one eye. Especially when you’re not exactly coordinated to begin with. Jack is holding my hand, and that alone has my heart racing. Even my brain feels like it may be overheating. I just don’t normally have luck like this, so my heart and my head are having a hard time connecting the dots here.

“This is it.” We stand in front of a monstrous boat with windows all along the dock that are tinted so dark I can’t even see into them.

“Wow. This is yours?”

“Well… By default of the fact that the owner is my father, yes. Have you ever been on one?”

“No. I generally stay on the suburb side of the city.” Why am I hinting that I still live with my parents?

He laughs at me before hopping on board and holding a hand out to assist me up. Luckily, I make it up in one piece without sliding down between the boat and the dock into the water.

“Let me give you the grand tour.”

I follow him into a living room with white leather couches along both sides just under the tinted windows. A wall of electronics is on one side of the room, and a gourmet kitchen lies just past a half wall on the other end.

“Whoa… This is bigger than I expected.” This is the kind of thing that happens in movies. Barista meets gorgeous guy and climbs aboard his yacht the day they meet. What is my life suddenly?

“Below are two bedrooms and two bathrooms.”

“Holy shi-oot.” Save the sailor’s mouth for when you know him better, Ems. “This is nice. Are you sure your parents won’t mind that I’m here?”

I watch him laugh at my almost-less-than-ladylike language.

“Why would they mind? Originally I was going to have the guys out here with me.”

“Oh, I guess I’d probably do less damage than those guys.” I point at my black eye.

“Again, I’m so sorry about that.” He reaches up and gently touches the side of my face. “Before we leave dock I can run down the street and grab dinner and bring it back. Is there anything you don’t eat or are allergic to? I’d hate to do any more damage than I’ve already done.”

Dinner at sunset, watching fireworks, on a yacht, with the most gorgeous man I’ve crushed on forever? Yes, please. I feel like I’m a princess who’s just boarded her private yacht to sail the open sea with the handsome prince.

“Nope, just nothing seafood-ish, if possible.”

“Allergic?”

“No, just don’t like it.”

“I knew we’d get along. I hate seafood.”

“Really? Most people look at me like I’m crazy when I say that.”

“I get it, it’s the fishy flavor and the texture, yuk.” His scrunched-up face makes me laugh aloud.

“Yeah.” That’s it, we’re soulmates. We both spontaneously hate seafood and he can practically read my mind. I’m convinced.

“Make yourself at home. I’ll be back in thirty.”

As soon as he leaves I hunt for the stairs to below, as he called it. I need to find a bathroom and see just how bad this eye thing is. A tight doorway off the side of the kitchen opens to a very narrow stairway which I hold my breath through for reasons I don’t quite understand. Three doorways are off the small hall so I crack open the first door and walk into a bedroom decorated in all blues and golds. Along the top of the walls are the same tinted windows. Not seeing a bathroom, I head back to the next doorway which opens up to the back of the boat. Floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking a small deck illuminate a bedroom I could only imagine seeing in a movie. Everything is turquoise and white and spotless. I’m afraid to touch anything, but I do see an opened door near the far corner so I walk towards it and into a bathroom so stark white I’m almost afraid to enter it. Luckily a whole wall is covered in mirrors, which is both good and bad because my eye is an awful shade of purple but the swelling isn’t as bad as I’d expected. My mascara is smeared partway down my cheek, but because of the color of my bruise, you can hardly tell. “No amount of makeup could fix this mess,” I say to myself, wishing it could.

I pull out the makeup I have in my purse anyway. It’s worth a shot. I don’t buy this mineral powder for nothing. It takes me a good fifteen minutes to get the purple down to an almost lavender. It’s not perfect, but it’s better than it was.

“Hello?” I hear Jack upstairs, probably wondering if I ran away from him.

“I’m down here.” I try and scurry back up to the top floor, but the hallway is so tight it feels like a pinball machine as I bounce between the walls on the way up the stairs. “Sorry, I…”

“Wow, it looks a little better.” He reaches up and gently runs his thumb across the swelling just under my eye. I bite my lip, hoping that he won’t wipe away all my hard work I just did. “Does it hurt?”

“A little.”

“I’m sorry, again. I feel like I can’t apologize enough.” He frowns at me.

I shrug my shoulders. “It’s not like you did it intentionally.”

“Right, totally didn’t mean for this to happen. Although if I ever wanted a unique way to meet a girl, this would make a great story.” He winks at me before stepping aside and allowing me to walk back into the kitchen. “I got pasta, is that OK?”

“More than OK.”

“I thought we could head out to a spot on the river I like, and eat on the deck?”

“Sounds good. You actually know how to drive this thing?”

“It’s my first time, but how hard could it be?” He winks at me with a laugh. “I’m kidding. I’ve been driving it since I was fourteen.”

“Good.” I smile at him, nervously.

I follow him out onto the deck and into a small cabin, resembling the cab of a very luxurious car.

“Have a seat.”

“Aren’t your friends going to be upset you ditched them for the day? I know I would if I thought I was going out on this.”

“They’ll get over it. They all agreed to help me mee—” He stops mid-sentence and glances over at me nervously. “They agreed to help me make sure you were OK.”

“What were you going to say?”

His head drops down with a small nervous laugh. “I threw that Frisbee your way on purpose, but not to hit you with it. Just to maybe meet you when it landed near you.”

I can feel the smile creeping up on my face before forcing it away. “You wanted to meet me?”

“Of course. You’re beautiful.”

“Well, I was…”

He laughs to himself. “No, you still are, black eye and all.”

“Is throwing Frisbees at girls something you do all the time?”

“Not all the time. Sometimes it’s footballs.” He winks at me again. “I actually don’t do a lot of dating. I’m a law student so I don’t have a lot of time.”

“It was different with me, though?” Why am I asking all the questions? What if I end up with an answer I don’t like? Am I going to swim back to shore? I’m stuck out here with him until he brings me back.

“It feels different to me. Are we not feeling the same thing?” He suddenly looks nervous when he looks at me.

“I’ve been feeling it for a long time, but I don’t exactly hit on random gorgeous men who come through the drive-through and never talk to me.”

“You think I’m gorgeous?” His nervous face turns into a giant smile, his dark eyes sparkling as he leans towards my seat. “You should have said something.”

“Nah…” My breath catches in my throat as he moves closer to me. “What would I have said without sounding like a crazy lady?”

As soon as I stop talking, his lips meet mine. It’s quick, but if I was standing I feel like it would’ve knocked me off my feet.

“I’m sorry.” He pulls away, his cheeks flushed. “I just…”

“No, no, it’s OK. It’s really, really OK.” My heart finally starts to beat again and I take a deep breath to try and focus.

“I’m not normally so forward. Actually, this is more the guys I was with than me. I’m the guy who stands in the corner and watches everyone else score. But there is just something about you.”

“You watch everyone else score?” I ask nervously, hoping he’s not into weird sexual voyeurism crap with his frat friends.

“No, ew, I mean… God.” He runs his hand through his dark messy hair. “I don’t actually know what I mean.” He turns his attention to the boat, turns some knobs, pulls some levers, and turns back to me. “Did you ever meet someone and feel like you’d known them forever? Like there was some kind of connection you had previously?”

“Not until now.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s nerve-wracking, isn’t it?”

“It is.” He laughs away whatever tension he had built up. “How about we have dinner and get to know each other, and see where that takes us?”

“You mean… physically?” My voice cracks as I say it, nervously. I’m not exactly experienced with a lot of men, and this is a man I don’t want to prove that to on Day One.

“No. No, I don’t… uh… I don’t… Jeez, I… That is something I don’t push quickly.” His nervous laugh is becoming cuter and cuter every time he does it. “I’m really looking like a perverted loser here, aren’t I?”

“I don’t think so.” I shake my head.

“Come on.” He grabs my hand and leads me out onto the deck. “Help me get the food and we’ll come back out to eat?” The sun is starting to set, and the music on the shore in front of us is getting loud.

I carry the two bags of food while he grabs a bottle of wine and a couple of glasses. “My mom never runs out, so she won’t miss a bottle.” He winks at me.

I’m on a yacht, having dinner with a guy I’ve dreamed about, and he just stole a bottle of wine out of his mother’s collection. Be still, my heart…

Over the next hour, Jack and I learn everything one could learn about each other on the first three dates. He’s got a sister, he’s from a wealthy family, he’s in law school, he’s only ever had one somewhat serious relationship that lasted a year, and he believes in fate.

I learn that I’m completely in love. I love the way he raises his right eyebrow when I say something questionable or unladylike, which is often. When I tell him, hesitantly, that I’ve never been in a serious relationship, he seems relieved instead of scared.

“I’ll drive you home,” he volunteers as we hop back onto the dock after the fireworks end.

“It’s clear across town; I don’t mind calling a cab.”

“I want to, Ems,” he says. He started calling me Ems about midway through dinner. Normally only the people closest to me use that name. It’s another sign from fate that we are meant to be. “It gives me a bit more time with you.” He takes my hand in his and leads me to a black SUV parked in the lot of the pier.

“I can’t argue with that.”

Even though I just had the best, most unexpected date of my entire life, the car ride to my house is quiet and awkward. There isn’t much left to talk about, and the sexual tension is far too much for me.

“It’s the house on the right.”

His eyebrow rises again when he looks over at me with a smile. “So, I’m guessing you’ve been on a yacht before…”

“Actually, I haven’t. My parents are, uh… old. So, their yacht days are long behind them. I just reap the benefits of a big house and not lacking in anything.”

“Gotcha. You have my number?”

“Yes.” I’d pull it from my purse to prove it but I don’t want to look like that obsessed girl. “You have mine? Because you know it’s the man's job to call.”

He nods. “And I’m not going to wait forty-eight hours either, so be prepared for that.”

“I hope you don’t.” My words are playing cool and I hope my face is playing along, because my brain is struggling with me getting out of the car and playing my last card at hard to get, or waiting for him to kiss me, or me just mauling him and doing him right here in the car, which I promised myself I wouldn’t do.

Luckily, I don’t have to wait long and he kisses me. “I’m really glad I met you, officially,” he says, as he pulls away a moment later.

“Me too.”

“I’ll wait until I know you got in safe.”

“OK.” I open the car door and slowly walk towards my front door when the porch light flips on when I’m half way there. I glance back at Jack who is still watching me with a small wave.

“Where’ve you been?” Evan asks, the second I walk through the door.

“Out.”

“Who drove you home?”

“My future husband, if you must know.”

“Poor guy…” He rolls his eyes and walks away from me, unwilling to hear every detail of the best night of my entire life.

Chapter Nineteen

Present Day

Cancun, Mexico

The Clues

I know Amelia did her best, but I’m exhausted, I need a shower and I’m fully prepared to never again spend five unnecessary hours at an airport with nothing to do. Quite apart from the three hours wait between my flights, isn’t it just my luck that right as we backed away from the terminal something would go wrong and we’d all have to exit the plane to wait for a diagnosis of the problem. Then, once we’d reboarded we were stalled on the runway for well over an hour to wait for our turn to take off. Airport construction near the runway is no laughing matter.

On any other day, I’d have been more than up for sitting around doing nothing and catching up on TV shows via my laptop. Today, though, I’ve been a nervous wreck. I’ve practiced what I’m going to say a thousand times or more. Nothing comes out quite the way I’d like.

Finally, I’m here. The hotel in Cancun looks the same way it did the last time I was here for Lily’s wedding. Even just seeing it has my heart already racing.

“May I help you?” A woman at the front desk smiles at me warmly.

“Yes, I’m looking for a Jack Cabot, he should be staying here?” I watch the girl type on the keyboard and scan the computer screen.

“And you are?”

“Emi Harrison? A friend of his, I need to—”

“He’s here, staying in room 233.” She slides a key card across the counter at me.

“You’re giving me a key to his room?” I ask, surprised.

“Yes.” She looks at the computer again. “It says here that he’s expecting you?”

“Oh… right, he’s expecting me.” Amelia must have told him I was coming. That takes a little of the pressure off, knowing that I’m not completely surprising him with the fact that I just flew last-minute to another country to chase him down.

“I hope you enjoy your stay.” She smiles again.

I nod at her, a nervous smile plastered across my face. This is nerve-wracking. I head towards the elevator trying to keep my breathing under control. I can do this. I know Jack. It’s not like I’m coming here to proclaim my love to a total stranger.

The second the elevator doors close, my ass starts to sweat, my heart starts pounding in my throat, and my brain feels more than fuzzy. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I didn’t think I’d ever make up with Jack.

The ding of the elevator reaching the floor happens far before I’m ready, and I roll my suitcase out with me down the hall towards room 233. I stop in front of the door and take a deep breath. Maybe I should just knock, considering the awkward situation we’re in. But then, why would the front desk give me a key if he wasn’t just expecting me to let myself in? I slide my keycard in and watch the light turn green with a beep. I knock anyway as the door pops open, then hesitantly enter, looking around the empty room for Jack, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

“Hello?” I walk through the sitting room and into the hallway where the bedrooms are. I see a suitcase lying on the bed in one of the rooms so I know he’s been here. “Jack?”

A knock on the door makes me jump nearly out of my skin. Why am I so nervous?

“Jack?” I answer the door, but it isn’t Jack. A man in a suit and tie is standing there holding a card.

“This was left for you at the front desk, Miss Harrison.”

I glance at the envelope with my name elegantly written across it.

“Thank you.” I act like I was expecting it and close the door before tearing open the envelope.

Ems,

I know you’re shocked to be here. I never imagined how things would turn out for us, but I always hoped I’d be able to give you everything we wanted in life. I failed at that for a while and I want to apologize for that, once again.

Please follow the clues I’ve left. I can’t wait to see you.

Jack

“Follow the clues?” I say out loud, looking around the room for anything that stands out to me as a clue. “Does he not remember that I suck at being Nancy Drew?”

“Miss Harrison?” Another knock at the door I didn’t quite get closed behind me startles me yet again.

“Yes?” I walk over to it, almost afraid of who stands there, but it’s another man dressed in a suit, holding a small bag and a garment bag. “I’ve been asked to deliver these to you, instructions are in the bag.”

“Thank you.” I bite my lip and take the items from him nervously. The dress bag has a note pinned to it that says Open me first. I put the bag on the table near the door and open the card.

You gave me the best 5 years of my life,

then a two-year nightmare I couldn’t wake from each night.

You once revealed to me a secret as I slept on the beach.

Wear this dress and the next clue will be within your reach.

“Sweet Mother of Moses.” I unzip the bag to find the little gray dress that Jack always loved. The same dress that I altered specifically to wear this week in an attempt to drive him mad. In the small bag are the sparkly heels he bought me to go with the dress, and jewelry to match. “How did he get all this stuff?” I ask the empty room.

This is much more maddening than I anticipated. I had this whole speech planned, and now I have to try and remember it through the tension building in my buzzing brain. Even my hands are shaking as I try to get ready to see him.

When I pull the dress over my head something pokes me in the face, and when I look it’s another note marked Clue Two pinned to the inside of the dress. Thank God it was the corner of the envelope poking me and not a needle in the eye. I toss the envelope onto the counter. I’ve never got dressed and ready so fast in my life before tearing open the next clue.

In loungers, we slept under the moon,
because when I walked I tripped into the dunes.
In that spot you will find clue number three.
Try not to fall, but if you do, fall for me.

Fall for him… The way my heart is suddenly galloping in my chest tells me that I fell for Jack a long time ago. I may have been more than stubborn over the last couple of years, but if I’m finally facing the truth, I never really let him go.

When I get down to the beach it’s completely empty. I pull my shoes off so I can walk across the sand to the loungers we lay in that night that I babysit Jack during his first drinking binge. I remember it like it was yesterday, and it makes my heart hurt just a tiny bit. It was when things were so innocent between us; there was no fighting, no supposed cheating, no wedding plans, just us in love. It was simple.

As I get closer I see the flickering light of torches stuck into the sand ahead of me. If I wasn’t afraid he was watching me I’d run there. I’m trying to keep my cool though. When I finally walk down the path now created between the glowing torches, I see the envelope of the next clue sticking out of the sand. Clue Three is written across the front. This must be the last clue. The torches block me from walking further than this. I tear open the envelope.

Turn Around

“Turn around?” I say, as I look hesitantly past the flames. I hear a shuffle behind me and turn to see Jack standing just a few feet away. He looks better than he did yesterday, if that’s even possible.

“Jack…”

“Emi, I can’t even begin to describe how glad I am to see you standing here.” He lets out a small nervous laugh.

I feel frozen in the sand, watching him walk over and take both my hands in his. “My mom put Greta up to the whole pregnancy thing…”

“What?” The word squeaks out. “How…”

Jacks nods his head. “She saw something we didn’t, and decided to take matters into her own hands.”

“She is…” What is the word I’m looking for? Manipulative, conniving, sneaky…

“A genius,” Jack answers with a shy smile, interrupting my more corrupt response “She got you here.”

“So you know Greta isn’t pregnant?” I ask, before realizing that’s what he just said.

“I do.” His voice is quiet. “My mom threatened to out Greta and all her lies to her circle of friends if she didn’t agree to help fix what she ruined with us. They came up with this story to force us to finally face the feelings she knew we had for each other. I had no idea until this morning.”

“My God…” I think back to the last twenty-four hours and the turmoil that’s gone on between my head and my heart. She’s a genius… an evil one, but one none the less. “She blackmailed Greta?”

He nods. “Her intentions were good, but her execution was excruciating. I’ve never packed a bag faster after I found out. That’s when everything hit me. I was going to race back to you but I was suddenly reminded me of that last time I was here, with you. I figured if there was ever a way or a place to do this, it was here.”

I stare at Jack, mind racing, unable to speak. Is this what a stroke feels like? Ever a way to do what?

He pulls at his collar as if it’s too tight. “Emi, I am completely in love with you. I have been since the day I threw that Frisbee in your direction.”

His hands are shaking around mine. The butterflies in my chest are making breathing something I have to actually think about.

“Yesterday I really thought I’d lost you forever. Last night was the worst night of my entire life. I don’t want to go another second without you knowing exactly how I feel.” He drops one of my hands and reaches into his shirt pocket, pulling a small folded piece of paper out. He stares down at it, before shaking his head and shoving it back into his pocket.

“I’m just gonna to wing it.” He takes a deep breath, his gaze never leaving my own. “I know I screwed things up, but I want to make that up to you. Today would have been our two-year wedding anniversary…”

“Today?” I rack my brain unable to even think a full enough thought to figure out what day of the week it is, let alone what date it is.

“July the fifth.” He nods his head. “I’ve loved you for seven years and I’d like to add seventy more to that.” A nervous look crosses his face before he reaches into the pocket of his slacks and pulls out a tiny white box. “I knew the day I met you my life would never be the same. I knew when you spilled that beer on me the other day that I never got over you.” He kneels on one knee, my left hand still in his. “I know that every single person who loves us thinks we belong together. They begged to see your face when this finally happened.” He nods behind him.

I look up from him, and a small shaky laugh escapes my throat. His parents, our siblings, even Josh and Lily are all standing not far behind him, with looks of anticipation across each of their faces.

“Amelia rigged my plane troubles too… I should have known.” My voice cracks through the sudden rush of emotions.

I look back down at Jack through the tears threatening to escape with a single blink.

“I know that I need to marry you, right here, right now, if you’ll have me…”

“Holy shit…” I blurt it out before quickly covering my own mouth with my hand. I would have to curse in this exact moment. I squeeze his hand tight.

“Emi… If you say no…” The look on his face breaks my heart in a split second. “I’ll walk away and I’ll never look back.”

I wasn’t prepared for a proposal today, but the sudden fluttering in my chest is the same as the recent fluttering of my brain. I know exactly what my answer is.

“And if I say yes?” I ask, before biting my lip to hold back whatever my face is trying to do that might not match the excitement within.

“If you say yes,” he says slowly, as he pulls a brand new, beautiful, never-worn ring out of the box and slips it on my finger, “If you say yes, I promise every day will be the best day of your life.”

“Our life,” I correct him, watching a smile spread across his face.

“Our life,” he repeats, his eyes glistening over with his own emotions.

“WELL?!?!” Hannah screams from the sidelines. “IS THAT A YES? Because we found a preacher!”

“Of course she found a preacher…” I cry out, and take my own deep breath to force away the overwhelming anticipation that is trying to swallow me whole. “How is it possible that this was even more perfect than the first time?” I laugh and pull Jack up off the ground, stand on my tiptoes and kiss his lips.

“Is that a yes?” He takes a step back and momentarily stares at me, his face as tense as I’ve ever seen.

“Yes. Definitely, yes.” I smile through the tears, which are now falling despite my best efforts to stop them.

“Finally.” A smile that reaches all the way to his eyes slowly spreads across his gorgeous face. That’s what was missing from him this last week: sincere happiness. He sighs a huge sigh of relief as he pulls me against him.

That’s when it hits me. I pull away, worried.

“Jack, I can’t get married in this dress.”

He stares at me with a blank face. “Why not? You know I love it.”

“I do know you love it. That’s why. You’ve seen me in this dress dozens of times. It’s bad luck when the groom sees the dress before the wedding. We can’t risk it.”

He grins before wrapping his arms around me again. “I’m sure we don’t need to worry about silly superstitions like that. All our bad luck is well and truly behind us. Come on, Miss Harrison. It’s time to become Mrs Cabot.”

THE END

A Note from the Author

Thank you for reading Little Gray Dress! It means so much to me that you would give my debut novel a chance. I would love to know what you thought of it in form of a book review.

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Aimee Brown

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