Flirt

Chasing Hope Series

Book One

By Lavinia Leigh

Flirt

Copyright © 2017 by Lavinia Leigh.

All rights reserved.

First Print Edition: July 2017

Limitless Publishing, LLC

Kailua, HI 96734

www.limitlesspublishing.com

Formatting: Limitless Publishing

ISBN-13: 978-1-64034-164-7

ISBN-10: 1-64034-164-1

No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to locales, events, business establishments, or actual persons—living or dead—is entirely coincidental.

Dedication

For Debbie, who planted the seeds.

Table of Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty-One

Chapter Forty-Two

Chapter Forty-Three

Chapter Forty-Four

Chapter Forty-Five

Chapter Forty-Six

Chapter Forty-Seven

Chapter Forty-Eight

Chapter Forty-Nine

Chapter Fifty

Chapter Fifty-One

Chapter Fifty-Two

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Chapter One

Garlic bread and chili were on the menu in the cafeteria, and the smell turned Emmeline’s stomach, sending her hurtling back to the bathroom for the second time that day. No one told her morning sickness would last well into the afternoon nearing the middle of her ninth month. The irony of the misnomer taunted her, adding another sting every time she felt her stomach lurch. She rubbed her belly as she came out of the bathroom, and found Nicholas still waiting for her outside with a bottle of ginger ale. With a grateful look at him, she grabbed the bottle and took a big sip.

“What would I do without you?” The nausea was slowly ebbing away, but the baby, heavy in her belly, was doing somersaults. “Oh, little one,” she muttered, wishing she could find some level of comfort.

“Is she kicking?” Nicholas asked, placing his hand on her stomach. He was always asking her questions. Was she okay? What was the baby doing? What could he do to help?

“Why are you so sure it’s a girl?” Emmeline asked, grinning.

“Because I just know. Besides, I want a girl. I want one who looks just like you, with your big blue eyes and that little mole on your cheek.” A goofy smile crossed his face as he passed his hands through his rich dark hair. Emmeline loved it when he did that; it sent chills up her spine. No wonder she ended up pregnant.

“Yes! A baby girl!” Callum popped up between them, wrapping his arms around their shoulders. He was Nicholas’s best friend, known schoolwide as a terrible flirt, and surprisingly tall. “How’s my little girl doing?” he asked, leaning in low to kiss Emmeline’s stomach.

“Listen!” said Nicholas, playfully rehashing a scene they had gone through a thousand times. “That’s my baby in there!”

“A guy can dream, right?” Callum winked.

“Yes, and only in your dreams!” Emmeline was so used to this, she surprised herself by even responding.

“Are you ready for the test, Nicky?” Callum asked.

“Don’t remind me!” Nicholas breathed out heavily. “It was so busy at work last night, I hardly got a chance to study.”

The words ate at Emmeline, who already felt guilty. The entire reason he was working so many hours was because of her and the baby. The last thing she wanted was for his marks to suffer on top of everything else. Thankfully, Nicholas was smart and usually found a way to keep up with his assignments, which always astounded her. These days, simply putting on her shoes seemed to require more brain power than she cared to muster.

“Ah, knowing you, you’ll ace it without even cracking a book.” Callum’s mossy green eyes darted away, sparkling as he noticed a short-skirted brunette walk by. Emmeline couldn’t remember her name, but smirked as the girl’s cheeks flushed under Callum’s much-sought-after attention. Emmeline remembered when she felt like that about Callum. It seemed like a million years ago, and she never let anyone know—not even her best friend Ginny.

“Here’s hoping. I’ll see you up there,” Nicholas said.

As Callum strutted off to class, Emmeline saw him link arms with another girl, who giggled the moment he touched her. Emmeline turned to Nicholas, her mind full. Callum was an easy distraction, but even his silliness couldn’t push her thoughts away from the baby today. “How can you be so relaxed? I spend most of my time being terrified,” she confessed, gulping down a breath. “You just take this all in stride, like it’s no big deal. Not even a test you’re unprepared for fazes you.”

“Listen, I’m not an idiot. A baby is a big deal, and the timing isn’t exactly ideal.” He paused for a moment, and Emmeline sucked in a breath. At the back of her mind, she was always fearful that he was going to turn and run. “But, this is my baby, and I’m going to do everything I can for her,” Nicholas continued. “As for the rest of it, we’ll get through it. We’ll find a way.” The last few words he over-pronounced in a staccato fashion. Emmeline appreciated his confidence and determination. It made her feel better, as if she could almost believe him.

“Well, you can spend as much time with him and her as you want.” Emmeline scrunched up her nose as she heard the scrambled words escape from her mouth.

“Twins now!” he teased.

“No, I meant him or her! I wish for once I would say what I mean instead of what just comes out. This pregnancy seems to make it so much worse!”

“It’s adorable.”

“Don’t patronize me,” Emmeline said, and playfully pursed her lips together.

He reached over, grabbed her hand, and then kissed her on the nose. “Well, it is. I better go. See you after chem class, okay?”

“Sure. Good luck!” She held on to his hand until the last second as he turned the corner to go up the stairs. All morning, she hadn’t quite felt like herself, and admittedly was acting a little clingy. Who could blame her? She had seen the sideway judgy looks a few girls had given her in the hall earlier that morning, saving the googly eyes for him. She knew why they looked at him like that. Every time he walked into the room, he made her heart skip a beat—even now. But the fact that they were judging her and not him was annoying.

Fortunately, not everyone treated her like a pariah. A lot of people in her school had been supportive, even if that support had some shades of pity to it. Still, she couldn’t help but let it get to her sometimes. While the other girls looked like dreams in their private school uniforms, in their short greenish-blue kilts and white blouses unbuttoned as low as they dared to emphasize their perky boobs, Emmeline’s giant stomach barely fit between her chair and the desk. They didn’t even have a uniform available to accommodate her current blossoming form, so she was free to wear whatever she liked, which just made her condition all the more obvious.

Emmeline joined Ginny, her totally put-together best friend, in the hallway, and they walked the rest of the way to English class, chatting. Emmeline still felt uncomfortable, and Ginny put her arm around her, rubbing her back. Between the snarky looks, the nausea, and the anxious feeling settling into her gut, Emmeline couldn’t wait for this day to be over.

They sat down in their normal seats, side by side in the middle row of the classroom, and their teacher began his lesson a few minutes later on whatever he was teaching. Emmeline couldn’t be quite sure exactly what it was. Her mind refused to concentrate. A worrisome ache started in her back and refused to go away no matter how she tried to sit on the old wooden seats.

“Ms. Hope, the blackboard is this way,” her professor grumbled halfway through the class as he tapped the board.

She tried to smile and straightened so she was facing more forward, hoping he would turn his attention to someone else, but a sharp pain blindsided her, threatening to tear her in two, and she gasped.

Ginny’s head shot round, her eyes going to Emmeline as she called out.

Oh God, what’s happening? This can’t be it! There were still two weeks to her due date, and Emmeline had been praying all along that she wouldn’t give birth until the end of the school year at Clifton Hill. If everything went according to plan, she would just make it.

“No, not now,” she begged quietly, wrapping her arms around her stomach. “You can’t be coming now.”

Ginny jumped up from her desk and started to collect her things.

“Miss Waddell, sit down!” the professor ordered. He was wearing an oversized eighties-patterned sweater that pilled badly. It was decidedly out of place in the private school, with its stately architecture and the other teachers who were as impeccably dressed as one would expect.

Ginny started to argue with him as Emmeline let a small sob escape her lips. The pain started somewhere around her knees and shot all the way up her back. She instinctively doubled, whacking her head on the desk. She was sure it was going to leave a bruise, not a good way to start her life as a mom. She groaned.

The entire class stared at her, jaws open.

“Ms. Hope, this is a classroom, not a circus. Would you please keep it down!” ordered the professor, who seemed to barely tolerate Emmeline’s presence in his class these days.

“Can’t you see she’s going into labour?” Ginny shot back.

“You and I both know that she’s not due until sometime this summer.” He looked triumphant, like he’d just crushed a mosquito that bit him.

“Apparently the baby isn’t aware of that.”

“Ginny,” Emmeline moaned. Little beads of sweat were breaking out on her forehead, and her heart constricted as her professor continued to dig in his heels, refusing to admit they needed to go.

“Listen,” Ginny started in again, “you don’t need to go out of your way to punish her. It’s not like she was the first girl in high school to get pregnant, and she won’t be the last. Now, whether you like it or not, we’re leaving.” Ginny turned her back on their professor. She sent a girl in the front row to tell Nicholas to meet them at the office, then helped Emmeline into the hallway.

Emmeline smiled weakly at Ginny. “Remind me to ground this child as soon as it’s born. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to happen.”

“Will do.”

“I’m not ready for this.” Emmeline took several shallow breaths. She clenched her jaw and rolled the muscles in her neck and back. It’s too soon, she thought, remembering the half put together crib in her bedroom. She walked stiffly, leaning on Ginny, hoping that this could be false labor. All the books she’d read said that often people mistook it for the real thing.

“You may not be ready, but it looks like this baby is,” said Ginny in her regular no-nonsense way. Her short, sassy pixie cut suited her perfectly. She was known as the kind of person who took life by the balls in one hand and came out swinging with the other. Ginny had been there, glued to her side, from the moment Emmeline first found out she was pregnant. It was Ginny who tore Nicholas a new one when he broke up with Emmeline minutes after he learned about the baby. They went from thick as thieves to strangers within the space of time it took to say, “I’m pregnant.” He’d been a complete jerk about the whole thing for the first couple of weeks, to the point of insisting Emmeline was lying.

For an entire month, after she broke the news, Nicholas avoided her like the plague. Devastated, Emmeline sobbed so hard at times she could barely come up for air. She couldn’t bring herself to accept that she would have to raise her baby all on her own. Once Ginny knocked some sense into Nicholas, he finally admitted how scared he was. After that, he did a complete turn around and apologised for being an insensitive idiot, embarrassed for treating Emmeline the way he did. Since then, he spent every minute trying to make it up to her, tending to her every whim or her cravings for Egg McMuffins at three in the afternoon, carrying around ginger ale with him wherever he went. He even convinced the cafeteria ladies to let him stockpile Emmeline’s favorite treats in the school’s fridge so that he’d always be prepared.

Nicholas had an irresistible presence, one that left you longing for more. Unlike Callum, he was calm and focused. He had a charisma people remembered, even if they had only spoken to him for a minute or two. This meant he got away with murder in the school, and pretty much the entire community for that matter. They loved him.

The walk to the office seemed like it took an eternity. Her old life was flashing before her eyes, and she still couldn’t make sense of her new one that was about to begin. She tried to keep her tears from falling. She was scared. How am I going to do this? The pain was so much worse than she had expected, and labor was just beginning.

As an only child, Emmeline had no experience with kids. She didn’t have the foggiest clue what to do; even after reading stacks of books, she still didn’t feel prepared. Getting pregnant had been a shock only six months after she and Nicolas started dating, and after how horribly things had gone with him, she’d had a really difficult time telling anyone else. Her parents were so rigid and worried about appearances, and her becoming pregnant was the worst thing they could have imagined.

As they turned the corner next to the office, she saw Nicholas waiting for her, pacing in front a set of dark blue wing-back chairs.

“The baby, she’s coming, isn’t she?” he asked as he put his arms around Emmeline. She nodded, noticing how unusually sweaty his palms were. “We can do this,” he said. His confidence made Emmeline momentarily feel better until an unbearable pain shot up her spine, almost making her fall to her knees. Her stomach turned again, and she felt dizzy.

“Stay with her, Ginny, I’m getting my car,” commanded Nicholas as Ginny motioned for the school principal to come over. She nodded to him and led Emmeline toward the front door.

“I can take you to the hospital,” volunteered Principal Senlit. The kindness in her face was unmistakable. Emmeline appreciated how supportive she had been since she found out about her pregnancy; she was always encouraging Emmeline to stay in school and helping wherever she could. “Or would you rather wait for us to call your parents?”

“Nicholas has gone to bring his car around front,” said Ginny.

The principal took a step back and eyed Ginny suspiciously. “Is he in any shape to take her?”

“I think so; he’s been preparing for this day for months.”

Emmeline pictured the trunk of Nicolas’s sports car, where diapers, sleepers, her extra clothes, and a pile of other things he had collected were crammed in, ready for this precise moment.

“Okay, let’s help her outside so she’s ready to go.” The principal called through the open office door to the secretary, “Mrs. Smyth, can you call Nicholas and Emmeline’s parents and let them know they need to meet them at the hospital?”

The secretary nodded, reached for the black phone on her desk, and started dialing.

As they headed out the front door, Emmeline wrapped her arms protectively around her stomach and said, “Hold on, little one, we’ll get to meet you soon.”

A moment later, Nicholas pulled up in his shiny black Subaru, a gift from his parents the day he got his driver’s license, and jumped out, rushing to the passenger’s side to open the door for Emmeline.

“Nicholas,” said the principal as Emmeline approached the car. “Do you really think you should be driving right now? I can take her; I can take you both.”

“Thanks, but this is my baby, and I’m taking them to the hospital. There is no sense coddling us now.”

“Fair enough,” she said, hands up. This wasn’t a fight she would win, or even seemed to want to. This was his first act as a dad.

Nicholas helped Emmeline into the car and flew around to the other side to get in himself. As he started to drive away, Callum came rushing out the front door. Emmeline watched him join Ginny in the principal’s car, happy he was coming as well. Someone to be there for Nicholas, who she was sure would need his support.

She moaned again.

Nicholas looked concerned. “Are you all right?”

It took a few seconds for the pain to subside enough for her to answer. “I didn’t realize it would hurt so bad. What if something’s wrong?”

Nicholas drove a little faster.

Chapter Two

The nine-minute drive to the hospital in the neighboring town seemed endless. Emmeline was sure that Nicholas was speeding; the highway signs all seemed to blur as they passed, but it didn’t seem fast enough. She wanted to feel safe in the hospital where the doctors and nurses could help her through this. Her mind raced with troubled uncertainty. Was the baby going to be okay? All of her prenatal care appointments had told her that this was a normal pregnancy, and yet, somehow, she had been thrown into early labor.

They pulled around to the emergency entrance, and Nicholas left the car running as he helped Emmeline through the automatic doors to the crowded waiting room reeking of disinfectant.

A nurse in Hello Kitty scrubs greeted them and pointed to a clipboard with a pen hanging from a string on the desk beside her, saying, “Just fill out the form and we’ll call you in a moment.” Then she turned her attention back to the elderly man in front of her. He had a large purplish bruise on the side of his head and was tightly cradling an arm that appeared to be broken.

“I can’t fill out forms,” Emmeline whimpered incredulously, leaning on Nicholas for support. She was having enough difficulty swallowing, she couldn’t imagine holding a pen and trying to focus on her medical history. She tried to think back—did she do this already? Her mind swirled, thinking only of what was going to happen.

“I understand you’re upset, but I will get to you as soon as I’m finished with this patient.” The nurse’s tone was calm and even, revealing that she was used to hearing people in distress.

Emmeline’s eyes bulged and she gasped. It felt as though a water balloon had popped inside her. Warm liquid coursed down her leg, puddling around her feet and soaking her wedge-heeled flip-flops. She squeezed Nicholas’s hand tightly and whispered, “I think my water just broke.”

“Are you okay? Nurse, please, we need you now!” exclaimed Nicholas, his hand running anxiously through his hair. “The baby’s early. Emmeline’s not supposed to be in labor yet!”

“Nicholas, I parked your car,” said Callum, coming through the door with Ginny and their principal. “Never thought I’d ever get a chance to drive it!” Ginny elbowed him. “How ya doing, Em?” he asked.

“My water just broke, and the nurse wants me to fill out forms.” Emmeline turned to Ginny, pleading for her to do something. Emmeline’s floor-length burgundy maternity dress had wet blotches going down her front, making her uncomfortable and utterly embarrassed.

The elderly man waiting at the desk motioned with his good arm to the nurse. “Go to her, I can wait. Look at her, she’s a baby herself.” The nurse smiled gratefully at him.

“Aaaaahhh!” Emmeline doubled over again, her fingers digging into Nicholas’s arm. He grimaced and then plastered a smile on his face.

The nurse got up from behind the desk, came over with a wheelchair, and settled Emmeline into it, while Ginny took over filling out the forms with ease.

“Where are they?” shouted Amy, making a grand entrance into the waiting room. Her normally perfect auburn hair was tousled and her cheeks were flushed.

“Mom, we’re here,” answered Emmeline dryly. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with Amy’s need for control over every situation, and a hint of anger punched through the pain as it dawned on her that things were going to get a lot more complicated in a moment.

“I can’t believe you are in labor now! Don’t you understand? Your father had a terribly big business meeting today. He had to cancel it, and he could lose a major account, you know. He’ll be here soon.”

“Don’t blame me, blame this ball of fire trying to consume me from the inside. It wants out, and not even Dad’s schedule is going to stop it.” She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down. She didn’t want her baby to be born in the midst of fighting. There had been too much of it over the past several months.

“Don’t be so dramatic. I’m simply trying to tell you why he isn’t here yet,” Amy said.

“I’m going to have this baby whether he makes it or not, Mom. Besides, Nicholas is here. That’s what counts.”

“Nicholas! Oh baby, are you okay?” Nicholas’s mom rushed through the door shouting, her gray eyes wild. “Amy.” She nodded coolly to Emmeline’s mother the moment she saw her.

“Dorothy.” Amy returned her frosty greeting and awkwardly straightened out her brown tweed blazer.

“Nicholas, do you need anything? What do you need? Do you need a wheelchair? Nurse! My son needs a wheelchair, he is going to be a father!”

“Oh Dorothy, he doesn’t need a wheelchair. He’s not having the baby!”

“It’s not all about you, Amy.”

“Guys, this is not the time,” warned Emmeline, tired of the division that existed between them. For months, she had secretly hoped they wouldn’t get to the hospital until after the baby was safely in her arms. She was sure it would make everything so much easier.

Emmeline smiled weakly at Ginny as she dropped the clipboard off on the desk. Principal Senlit approached Emmeline and put her hand on her shoulder, squeezing it slightly. “Your family is here. Will you be okay now?”

Emmeline nodded and said goodbye. As her principal turned to leave, Emmeline couldn’t help but notice how grateful she appeared to get out of this hornets’ nest. She wished she could go with her too.

“If you guys would like to follow me, I can take you upstairs to the maternity ward.” said the nurse, ushering them toward a set of elevators down a hall.

Emmeline groaned. How could any of this be happening? How did I get myself into this situation? she thought for the hundredth time. She tossed her long brown hair over her shoulder, wishing for an elastic to tie it back. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. I was supposed to be older, I was supposed to be prepared, I was supposed to have traveled before I started having a family. I don’t even know what I want to do with my life yet. It was all too much. Labor was nothing like she imagined. She couldn’t remember exactly what she had thought it would be like, but it wasn’t supposed to be this, she was sure.

The group paused to let a stretcher by, and Ginny leaned over and hugged Emmeline. “You know I can go in with you if you want. I don’t mind.”

“I know, but I think Nicholas and I have this covered. Besides, they don’t like too many people in the delivery room.”

“I’ll see you after, and tell them to find me if you need anything. Callum and I will be in the waiting room, hiding from your parents,” said Ginny. Callum winked at Emmeline as another wave of contractions walloped her.

“Why can’t there be a better way for babies to be born?” she whined as Nicholas started to push the chair again.

“I’m so sorry.” His voice sounded thick with emotion. She turned her body to try and look at him. His shoulders were slumped and concern was written in his eyes. “I’m sorry I did this to you.” He reached out and squeezed her hand, then looked to his mother for help. Dorothy was pulling strands of hair out of her head.

“It’ll all be over soon enough,” the nurse reassured them as she pressed the up button on the elevator.

Dorothy abruptly nudged Amy out of the way to stand next to her son. “Don’t apologize, Nicholas. She was there too.”

“Are you blaming Emmeline for this?” Daggers shot out of Amy’s eyes.

“Mom, not now,” begged Emmeline. She could feel her body tensing up, and dreaded the next excruciating contraction that was on its way. “I thought there was supposed to be pauses between the contractions! These seem like they just keep coming.”

“Everyone’s body is different,” the nurse said. “You never know what will…”

“I can’t sit by and listen to this woman call you a slut,” Amy interrupted.

“She’s not calling Emmeline a slut. We were both there in the beginning, and we are here together in the end.” Exasperated, Nicholas pushed Emmeline onto the elevator with a little more force than he must have meant.

“Quick, Nicholas, push the door close button!” Emmeline hissed in a loud whisper.

The elevator doors started to close, leaving the expectant grandparents behind in the hall.

Emmeline smiled. “Sorry, no room! You’ll have to take the next one, or the stairs. Level two!” she managed to get in just as the doors fully shut.

“You know the maternity ward is on level three,” said the nurse, eyeing her suspiciously.

“Oops,” Emmeline said before a contented smile spread across her face. She hadn’t meant to say the wrong floor, but for once, her habit of spitting out the wrong word worked to her advantage. “Hold on, baby, we’re almost there.”

Chapter Three

The elevator doors opened to a crisp white hallway lined with images of newborn babies with their chubby cheeks and legs adorably posed. Tender anticipation flooded Emmeline’s heart. How many hours would it be until she was holding her own newborn in her arms? With her water breaking, she knew for certain that this wasn’t false labor; this was it. She looked up at Nicholas, who was now more cautiously pushing her wheelchair, well away from the commotion, and caught his eye. He smiled at her as if he was thinking the same thing.

What would the baby look like? Would they have Nicholas’s smile or his hair? Would the baby be short like Emmeline? Would they have Nicholas’s personality, or have one all of their own?

“Do you think it will take long for them to find us?” she asked. “They are going to be so mad.” She was still surprised with herself for making Nicholas shut the door before they could get in.

Nicholas chuckled. “Probably, but at least it gets them off our backs for a while.”

Emmeline was pleased he was taking this so well. It was one thing she didn’t need to feel guilty about for now. Up until she got pregnant, it had seemed like he had a reasonably normal, close family. They had accepted Emmeline into the fold, and even had her and her parents over for dinner many times, which pleased her social-climbing mother to no end. Everything changed the moment they found out about the pregnancy. Emmeline had been sent for a loop, stunned at their sudden brutality.

It had been a horrible time. She’d been dealing with the idea of becoming a mom and had barely worked things out with Nicholas. His mom constantly made things worse, going out of her way, it seemed, to attack Emmeline, especially when she was feeling her most vulnerable. Not to mention her own parents’ disappointment when they had learned the news.

Erik, Nicholas’s young brother by almost seven years, was the only one in their families to be thrilled from day one. To him, this was the coolest thing ever. He tried to console Emmeline, saying, “I’m going to be the best uncle!”

The nurse led them down the hall, past the nurses’ station, stopping briefly to say, “Emmeline Hope is here.”

The woman at the desk nodded. “Put her in room three. Emergency called up already to let us know she was coming.”

Another wave of contractions hit Emmeline. They were coming fast and consistently. She tried to think back again to all the books she read about pregnancy. They had all agreed a first labor could take hours, although it didn’t feel like that at that moment. It felt as though this baby could crawl out any second.

“When does the person with the epidural get here?” she begged.

The nurse, unfazed, said, “We’ll get you settled in room three, and the doctor will be in to see you in a few minutes.”

Nicholas pushed Emmeline to the assigned room close to the desk. The nurse found a blue cotton hospital gown and handed it to her.

Emmeline changed quickly in the bathroom, and then climbed into the hospital bed. She grimaced as Dorothy’s voice began to echo through the halls.

“Where are they?” she demanded. “Where is my son—and that hussy?”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” a woman’s voice answered.

“My son!”

Her mother’s voice was next. “I want to see my daughter. She is about to give birth. She needs her mother.”

“If she gets to go in, so do I,” Dorothy declared.

“I guess they found us,” Nicholas said dryly to Emmeline, who could feel her toes curling. “That didn’t take long.”

“I don’t want them here. They’re making it harder.”

“Let me see what I can do,” the nurse said as drew a light blue curtain across, shielding the bed before she walked out.

“Do you think she’ll be able to keep them at bay for a while?” Emmeline asked quietly. She was surprised at how cool her mother was toward Dorothy. Emmeline knew part of her mom desperately wanted to be accepted by Nicholas’s mother as an equal. Amy had the respected Hope last name, and yet Dorothy had all the money and prestige. If she and Nicholas were announcing their marriage instead of having a baby, there probably would be a totally different reaction, despite their age.

“Aw, don’t worry. Olivia, I have this,” Emmeline heard the nurse say. “Would you like a cup of coffee? I’m sure I can scrounge you up one if you like.”

“No,” Amy said sharply. “I want to see my daughter. She needs her mother.”

“My son can’t be in there all by himself!” said Dorothy. “I have to be there for him.”

Emmeline squirmed in her bed, listening. Nicholas rolled his eyes and shut the door.

“Why is it that I go into labor and it’s all about them?” Emmeline asked. Her dreams of beautiful, TV-perfect delivery vanished. Would anything go right?

“Listen, who gives a crap about what they’re doing out there? We’re having a baby, and I refuse to let them spoil it. I am happy, I mean, terrified too, but I get to welcome my own little girl into the world today.”

Emmeline’s eyes went misty. As long as he was beside her, she figured she could make it through this. They had come so far already.

There was a knock on the door, and the doctor introduced himself. He was a small man with thick glasses and an air of confidence about him that almost at once made Emmeline feel more at ease.

“Do those happy people outside belong to you?” he asked sarcastically. Emmeline rolled her eyes and bit down on her tongue, unsure if she wanted to admit it or not. At least the doctor had a sense of humor.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Nicholas said. “I swear they were reasonably normal people until they found out about the baby. Although I think my mom’s been off for a while, I don’t know…” His voice trailed off.

“I can keep them out of the delivery room if you would like,” the doctor offered, pushing his glasses up on his nose.

They both nodded gratefully.

“Deal. Now, shall we check and see if this little one is on their way anytime soon?” He took a moment to check her over, and then said, “This is it. You guys are going to be parents today, and by the look of it, pretty soon.”

Hours passed in a blur as Emmeline held tightly on to Nicholas’s hand. She could see little drops of sweat line his forehead as he offered for the tenth time to rub her back, anything to ease the spasms that tortured her body. Somewhere deep in her mind she welcomed each contraction; there was a power to it that she hadn’t expected, a strength that she didn’t know her body possessed. It was painful and exhilarating all at once. Each one brought her closer to her baby, and her heart fluttered with the thought.

Nicholas never left. Occasionally they heard mumbling from behind the closed door to the hallway. It was easy to block them out then. Although if Emmeline was being honest, there were times she wished she could have her mother in there with her. Holding her hand, telling her that she was going to be all right, stroking her hair, like she did when Emmeline was little. It would have been nice—but in her heart, she knew that once those doors were opened the circus would start all over again. Besides, she didn’t want Dorothy in the room. It was better this way.

The pushing started, and she grunted out cries with each contraction. Emmeline was shocked at how her body took over, seeming to know exactly what to do even as her brain fumbled around, not understanding how to process the pain or what was happening.

“I can see the top of your baby’s head,” said the doctor. “Nicholas, do you want to come around and catch the baby?”

“I can do that?”

The doctor nodded and vacated his spot on the rolly-stool that had been his position for the past several hours. Nicholas took his place, and Emmeline could see his cheeks turn pink. The doctor gave him a few instructions, and then asked, “Are you ready for this?”

“I don’t know,” he said, then chuckled. Emmeline wasn’t sure either, but the desire to push enveloped her body again

“Emmeline, that’s it! The head is out! She’s got dark hair and everything.”

With two more gigantic pushes, a little girl slid safely into her father’s arms.

Emmeline sucked in a deep breath. Her whole life had just changed.

Chapter Four

Emmeline held her squirming baby in her arms, thinking how her round head and little tuft of dark hair looked just like Nicholas’s. He was beaming, thrilled that he got the little girl he wanted. She was perfect: ten fingers, ten toes, and a little button nose. Despite being two weeks early, she was only a little small, weighing just over five pounds.

Nicholas reached down and picked up his daughter’s hand. The baby instinctively wrapped her tiny fingers around his thumb. One look at him and Emmeline could tell he was completely in love. So was she. The feeling was overwhelming.

“So, what do you think?” Nicholas asked, barely able to take his eyes off his baby girl who was blissfully unaware of the firestorm that was trying to force their way into her perfect little world. The new mom and dad heard the commotion rise outside their closed door and couldn’t ignore it anymore. Emmeline looked anxiously up at Nicholas.

“I guess we better get this over with.” She picked up her daughter’s other hand and asked, “Are you ready, little one, to meet your grandma? Don’t worry if you’re not. I’ve lived with her for seventeen years and I’m still not ready.”

Nicholas opened the door, and for a moment the noise from the hall stopped.

“Would you all like to meet your new granddaughter?” he asked, his chest visibly puffed up. Within seconds the room was filled with two full sets of anxious grandparents. Emmeline hadn’t realised that her dad was even there until that moment. Both he and Nicholas’s father must have arrived while she was giving birth.

“Why on earth wouldn’t you let us in?” asked Dorothy, her hand resting on her hip. “I have half a mind to sue those doctors, keeping me away from my own child while he was having a baby.”

“They kept me out too, you know. Oh…” Amy’s voice trailed off as she laid eyes for the first time on her granddaughter. Her face softened. “She’s so beautiful.”

“Mom, can’t you simply enjoy the fact that you’re a grandparent for even a minute?” asked Nicholas. Emmeline could see how much he wanted his mom to approve of his daughter, and hoped that she could see it too. They had been so close before. Hopefully, some of that sentiment still existed deep inside Dorothy. Emmeline made a promise to herself to make sure she always did what was right for her daughter, not to let disappointment or anger ever get in the way of her being a good mother. This baby was now her world, and she was prepared to do everything she could for her child.

“She looks like you, Emmeline, all pink and chubby,” Amy said softly, approaching the bed where her daughter and grandchild lay. “She even has your mole.” It was on the side of the baby’s cheek in exactly the same place that Emmeline had hers. Amy sighed.

“Isn’t she wonderful? I can’t believe she’s mine,” Emmeline said as she caressed her baby’s face.

“I can’t believe it either,” retorted Dorothy, pulling out a few strands of her hair. It seemed to be a regular habit these days.

“Mom,” begged Nicholas. “Can we please put all your garbage aside for a moment?”

Dorothy sniffed as her son picked up his daughter, cradling her in his arms for the first time. She walked alongside him and put her arm around his waist. “The baby is cute, of course it is. Too bad it’s not a boy.” Nicholas shot her a look of disgust. “Bu-ut,” she continued, drawing the word out. A giddy smile crossed her lips. “She is your daughter, and that makes her perfect. I have so many plans for this child. She will be just like you, Nicholas.”

“What have you decided to call her?” asked Amy, reaching for the baby. Dorothy interfered, waving her hand aside; hurt registered in Amy’s eyes.

“I don’t think we’ve decided yet,” Nicholas said, looking to Emmeline for confirmation. There had been several names on the list they were still debating over. After all, they were supposed to have a couple more weeks. There were still so many things left to be done.

“We’ll have her name soon.” She was stuck between Abby and Marissa. Nicholas kept suggesting Beatrice. Emmeline hoped he was kidding.

“Emmeline, the child needs a name.” Dorothy’s condescending tone was unmistakable. “This just goes to prove you’re too young for this. You don’t understand the responsibility that you’ve just taken on.”

“Well, we’ll just have to figure it out. Besides, since when do any new parents know what they’re doing when they first start out?” Emmeline asked, sick of hearing this yet again. Her stomach did a little flip. At first, she thought it was because of the birth, but then she wondered if something was up.

“I think we best tell them our plan, Aaron.” Dorothy grabbed her husband’s hand and squeezed it tightly.

“Are you sure?” His eyes shifted toward the window. “I don’t know if this is the right thing.”

“Better to not let her get attached,” Dorothy insisted.

“Mom, Dad, what are you talking about?” Nicholas asked, stepping closer to Emmeline.

“We’ve decided that we would like to help you two out. We think it would be best for the child if she had more suitable parents, ones who aren’t babies themselves.” She turned her attention to her son. “I’m sorry, Nicholas, but you are a baby. So, we, your dad and I, are willing to take custody of the child.”

A stunned silence echoed off the walls.

“Get out!” Emmeline shouted, reaching to take the baby from Nicholas’s protective arms.

“See, this is what I’m talking about. She doesn’t have the maturity to handle the situation,” explained Dorothy.

Emmeline could hardly believe what she was hearing, shocked that this woman was still in front of her. Worse, it was clear from the look on Dorothy’s face that she thought that she was helping, appearing almost pleased with herself and expected Emmeline to thank her.

“What are you talking about?” Amy finally jumped to Emmeline’s aid. “You can’t expect her to hand over the child without a fight. Besides, if anyone should have custody of this child, it should be Emmeline’s parents. But it doesn’t matter. She’ll live under our roof, and we can guide and lead her. She’s not doing this on her own.”

“I wouldn’t trust you to raise my granddaughter! Look what you’ve done with your own child.” Dorothy’s tone was decidedly derisive. “Besides, Emmeline can visit the baby; it would be good for the child to see her from time to time, and of course, Nicholas will be around—until he goes off to college, that is. This is for the best. Emmeline can get her studies done; she can have a life. We’ve thought this over thoroughly, and we’re happy to do it.” Dorothy pulled at strands of hair from the back of her head.

Amy looked horrified.

“Get them out, Nicholas!” Emmeline screamed, placing her hands protectively over the baby’s ears.

“Now,” Dorothy continued, oblivious to the chaos she was causing, “I’ll let you name the child. And soon too, preferably. That way the documentation signing over custody can be properly filled out.” She crossed her arms, looking pleased with herself.

“You want to know her name?” Emmeline’s voice dropped an octave as she sternly over-pronounced each syllable. “Her name is Emmeline Hope, after the mother who will raise her, who will be there every single day of her life! I’ll be the one to wipe her tears. I’ll be the one to put her to bed. I’ll be the one crying as I drop her off to her first day of school. Me! Got it? Now get out!”

“But, don’t you understand what I’m doing for you? This is a chance for you to have your life back. I don’t mind, really.”

“Dorothy, go,” Nicholas said, his icy tone cooling the room by several degrees.

Dorothy huffed as her husband started to gently pull her by the arm out the door. Her heels clicked hard on the gray travertine floors as she left.

“Can you believe that dreadful woman? No offense, Nicholas dear. Now, let’s have a good look at that precious baby of ours.” Amy reached out to take the baby from Emmeline, who held on tighter to her sweet bundle wrapped in a pink blanket.

“This is my baby, Mom. Not yours, not hers, Nicholas’s and mine.”

“I understand. We’ll just be around to guide you—tell you when to feed her, when to let her sleep, that sort of thing.”

“No, you don’t get it. Emmeline is mine. I get to decide when she sleeps and what to feed her.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Hope,” the nurse interfered, “I think little Emmeline has had enough excitement for one day. Perhaps you could let her and her mother rest, and you can talk later.”

“Maybe you’re right.” Amy leaned over and kissed Emmeline on the forehead, then ran a hand over her grandbaby’s head. “She is beautiful. You two make a good-looking baby. Come on, Grandpa, let’s let them be for now.”

When they were safely out of earshot, Emmeline asked, “What are we going to do? They won’t let us be, you know. They all feel like they have more right to our daughter than we do.”

“We’ll just have to prove them wrong. Millie belongs to us.”

“Millie?” she asked.

“Well, you both can’t be called Emmeline, we’ll all be confused! Do you like it?”

She nodded yes. “Millie it is.”

Chapter Five

Emmeline listened to Millie, wrapped in a soft yellow blanket, suck loudly on her fingers in the plastic car seat that Nicholas had bought at a secondhand store a few weeks before. It was decorated with multicolored balloons and had a small stain, but with the precious baby inside no one could see the imperfections. Nicholas had insisted on paying for everything himself, especially after how his parents had reacted to their joyous news, saying this was the first step in proving that they were ready for parenthood.

That morning, a few days after she gave birth, the doctor came in and congratulated Emmeline, saying she could take Millie home. It was good news, Emmeline said to herself, sick of the bland hospital food and the uncomfortable bed. But as she packed up Millie’s presents and the things she had needed for her stay in hospital, a crushing apprehension began to take hold of her mind, threatening to squeeze out the tiny amount of confidence she had been storing up. In a few hours, if something went wrong then it would be up to her to figure it out. It wasn’t like Nicholas could be there for the four a.m. feedings or the midnight screaming fests Millie already seemed prone to.

The worst part was that she couldn’t even admit that she was nervous. Between her mother being too helpful and Nicholas’s mother wanting to take Millie away, Emmeline was suffocating under a microscope that was about to become more intense. One wrong move and it was a very real possibility that Millie would be taken away from her.

She knew she wasn’t the ideal mom: young, without her own house, her own car, or even a job to support them. She didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life—something that regularly kept her up at a night, and had even given her nightmares at times. At least for now, Nicholas was managing to hold his mother at bay, insisting she needed to give him and Emmeline a chance to prove what they could do. His father, surprisingly, backed him up. Nicholas said this was the first time he'd ever seen his father question his mother.

As Emmeline waited for Nicholas to pick them up from the hospital, a nurse stopped by her room and asked her to sign a few papers, then left her with a pile of brochures. Emmeline absentmindedly glanced through them, not sure if she wanted to take them home or not. She pulled Millie out of the car seat and sat helplessly on the edge of the bed.

“What am I doing?” she asked Millie, gently stroking her little tuft of brown hair. “I don’t know how to do this.”

She turned the baby around so that she could peer into her alert and inquisitive little eyes. “The only thing I can promise is that I will do the best I can for you, and no matter what, I will never let anyone take you away from me.” She wished she felt as upbeat as she sounded. Maybe if it wasn’t so gloomy outside, then she’d feel a little better. Ginny’s life motto of “Fake it till you make it” came to her mind. There was going to be a whole lot of faking it going on!

Nicholas walked in the door with an armful of fresh-smelling pink Gerbera daisies wrapped in crinkly pink paper, and Emmeline sighed. “You’re too good to me.”

“Not near good enough.” He smiled and handed her the bundle. Emmeline took a deep whiff of their distinctive cherry pie smell and noticed he was still holding one more flower, a perfect pink rose, in a clear cellophane wrapper.

“This is for Millie. I want to be the first man who gives her flowers.” Tears brimmed Emmeline’s eyes. Nicholas wiped them away and kissed her on the forehead.

Together they gathered up the bags, flowers, baby presents, and over-the-top giant teddy bear Callum had left for Millie and headed out to the car.

“I can’t stand to be apart from her,” Nicholas said as they slowly walked across the parking lot. “I wish we could all be together all the time.”

“Me too,” Emmeline said wistfully. “What else can we do? We can’t afford our own place.” This was not the picture she had in her mind when she was little, playing house with her friends in multicolored tutus, fantasizing about when they would have babies of their own. It was gut-wrenching. She may be young, but it didn’t change her hopes and dreams for her baby’s life. Millie should have both her parents with her all the time.

“I might have a plan to fix all this.” Nicholas looked hopeful, as if he was testing the waters.

“Are you going to share?”

“Not yet, but I just wanted you to know, you don’t have to worry.”

“Not sure that helps,” Emmeline answered and bit her lip.

She snapped the car seat into place in the back of Nicholas’s Subaru. Not exactly a traditional family vehicle, but the whole idea made Emmeline smile. They were doing things on their own terms. That meant a sports car to bring Millie home in.

All through the drive home, everything looked different. The trees seemed bigger, the river that cut the town in two seemed wider, the water raced faster. Was this the place for her to raise Millie up in? Everything was up for debate. But, if she was honest, this was her town. Most of her classmates wanted to run away to the city where things were constantly changing, life was more exciting, and there was always something new to try. She felt differently; there was something about this town that spoke to her. Maybe it was the history. She was a Hope, after all. Coming from Port Hope, that meant something—at least to her. Her great grandmother had been a force in this town, dominating the social and political scene long before it was fashionable for a woman to do so. It made Emmeline not so secretly pleased whenever she thought about it. Maybe she could draw on her great grandmother’s strength to become who Millie needed her to be. Her grandmother Emmeline had always been a role model she was pretty sure she would never live up to. There was even some sort of inheritance that she was supposed to get at some point, although the details had always been sketchy.

Amy was there waiting for them, peering through the lace curtains that adorned the picture window at the front of her red brick century home.

“She’s seen us,” Emmeline said dryly as they pulled into the driveway. “We have to go in now.” Amy had become a fountain of unwanted advice, and Emmeline was feeling strained, wishing she could avoid her completely.

Emmeline grabbed Millie from the back seat, while Nicholas struggled to get a ridiculously large teddy bear out of the trunk where it had barely fit, muttering, “Remind me to return the favor to Callum if he ever has kids.”

Amy ran out the door and greeted them with an overbearingly sweet tone. At least she’s trying, Emmeline thought. I have to at least give her that.

“You have got to see what I have done!” Her hands animated with wild excitement, Amy completely ignored the life-sized teddy bear Nicholas was now dragging up the front walkway.

Inside, the front hall held practically an entire flower shop worth of bouquets that had been sent over to welcome Millie home, each with miniature cards on long plastic sticks saying who they were from. By the stairs, a black lacquered table was layered with presents wrapped in varying shades of pink.

Emmeline was touched by the amount of people who had dropped gifts off. She ran her fingers over a few of the sparkly bows and saw Nicholas’s eyes light up as he saw them.

“Phew, properly sized presents! This bear is going to need a room of its own.” Nicholas plopped the bear down on the ground with a heavy sigh.

Emmeline laughed. “You sound like an old man!”

“What do you expect? I’m a father now!” He winked at her.

“Would you two quit talking and follow me?” Amy was already standing at the top of the stairs, motioning for them to follow.

Emmeline took a sleeping Millie out of her carrier and followed Nicholas up the carefully restored wooden steps that twisted at a stained-glass window on the way to the second floor. A familiar antique Persian rug, with an intricate design of swirls that faded into each other, greeted them at the top. The second floor had three bedrooms and a full bath. Emmeline’s room was to the right, while the other two rooms sat empty in case of company. Her parents had a massive bedroom in the addition at the back of the house. For the most part, Emmeline had the second floor to herself, and she was confused by the new soft pink hue coming out of one of the spare rooms.

Amy presented the room as if it were a car on The Price is Right. “What do you think?”

Emmeline’s lips drew a tight line. The bedroom across the hall from hers, which had been decorated with antique quilts and beige walls, was now transformed into a cacophony of pink frills, shimmer, and lace. Sparkly tiaras and feather boas hung from shelves, and there was a baby modeling magazine displayed upright on the dresser. The closet overflowed with dresses, matching hats, and tights. This was unexpected.

“Isn’t it just darling?” Amy clasped her hands together at her chest. “You aren’t saying anything.”

Emmeline boiled under the surface. No one had bothered to consult her on what her daughter’s room should look like. Shouldn’t that be a mother’s decision?

Nicholas put on a smile and acted the diplomat, thanking Amy for what she had done.

“Emmeline, speak up! You aren’t saying anything. Doesn’t that fancy school of yours teach you anything?” her mother asked, looking confused.

No matter what Emmeline said at that moment, she would be letting someone down: her mother or herself.

Chapter Six

“How did you get all this done? I was only gone a few days,” Emmeline finally managed to squeak out. What else could she say? All the bravado she had acquired during her labour was gone along with the energy she had.

Amy took this as approval and launched into an in-depth explanation of how she had pulled it off. Her words floated over Emmeline’s head as she kept saying to herself, Dory-style, just keep smiling, just keep smiling. The phone ringing downstairs finally released them from Amy’s clutches, and as soon she left, Emmeline wiped her hand across her forehead and mouthed “Phew” to Nicholas.

They settled Millie into her sugary sweet room. Emmeline tried to remind herself that her mother’s intentions were good, even if the execution was severely flawed, as she went through the drawers seeing everything Amy had done. Besides, it wasn’t like she could afford to do something special like this for Millie herself.

As the days wore on, she and her daughter settled into some sort of ever-shifting routine of diapers, tears, and feedings. Millie seemed hungrier at night, leaving Emmeline a sleep-deprived zombie. Nicholas ran over to see them every chance he got between school and his shifts at the train station, where he sold tickets and announced arrivals and departures. He brought Emmeline the last few assignments she needed to do before school was over for the year—something she was desperate for. Nicholas watched Millie as Emmeline took her final exams. Emmeline was pretty sure she passed, which felt like a huge win considering everything that had been going on. On top of that, her body was healing from the delivery and her muscles still felt sore and uncomfortable. She was amazed at how different her body looked now that she had given birth compared to before she had been pregnant. Nicholas couldn’t help but comment how much curvier her hips were, and salivated at the two round melons that stood up at attention on her chest.

“Of course he’d say that,” said Ginny, sitting cross-legged on the floor, playing with Millie in her bouncy chair. Nicholas was working most of the day, but did a flyby visit to snuggle with Millie on his lunch. He had been a littler friskier than normal, whispering some words into Emmeline’s ear that made her blush.

“I know, but he didn’t have to be so graphic about it.” Emmeline was still embarrassed.

“Meh, he loves you. I’m sure if you came out of pregnancy flat chested, he’d love that too.” Ginny smiled at Millie. “Your mommy’s a pretty girl, just like you!”

Ginny pulled down one of the tiaras and a feather boa and dressed Millie up. Drool hung out of her mouth, and she tried to put the feathers from the boa into her mouth. Emmeline absentmindedly pulled the boa off, her mind wandering to bigger issues. Millie protested, but Ginny started kissing her belly and Millie forgot about the hot pink feathers. Emmeline smiled, seeing her best friend and baby playing together on the floor of the nursery.

“The big problem isn’t finding some alone time with Nicholas, but the fact that I’m powerless,” Emmeline said, scrunching up her face. “And powerless is the last thing I can be right now.”

“Back to this. You just gave birth two weeks ago. You need to give yourself time.”

“Time to do what? I have no idea what I’m supposed to be or what to do. I can’t work at the moment—Millie eats about every ten minutes, and I don’t even know how I’m supposed to go back to school in the fall. I am reliant on everyone for everything. What kind of example is that?” This thought ran through her head a hundred times a day as her new reality settled in. “I felt like I didn’t have the option to tell my mom I hated the nursery. You know she didn’t even ask me what colour I’d like it. I had planned for Millie to stay in my room with me. I want her close to me at night, not all the way across the hall.”

“Emmeline, you’re smart. You’ll figure it out.”

“I wish you could just wave a magic wand and give me some direction. I always thought there would be more time. I should have had a whole extra year of high school to decide what I wanted to do before having to turn into an adult. Do you think I’d make a good lawyer?”

That was Ginny’s dream. “Ha, not unless you learn to stand in front of large groups of people and not get your words all tangled up.”

Emmeline laughed. “Can you imagine? ‘Your honor, my client pleads guilty—I mean not guilty! Really, sir, he didn’t do it. Please believe me!’”

“You’d both end up in jail!”

“Probably.”

Ginny glanced down at her watch. “I gotta go, but you’ll figure this out. We can talk about it more later.”

Emmeline puffed out her cheeks, then blew out slowly and said goodbye. She wished Ginny could stay longer, but understood that her life was very different from Emmeline’s now. At least when Ginny was around, her mother left her alone, temporarily stopping the how-tos and the why don’t you just give the baby to me’s and the I’ll do it’s. She had even harassed Emmeline for deciding to breastfeed and chastised her on the inappropriateness of Callum calling every evening to make sure they were okay. What was the problem? They had been friends for as long as she could remember.

“Really, if you would just bottle feed the baby, then I could do it for you,” Amy said again the next afternoon.

“Mom, there’s nothing wrong with breastfeeding. Besides, formula costs too much.”

Her mom always threw money at problems, money that she didn’t always have. She kept buying Millie all this paraphernalia she didn’t need, making Emmeline feel guiltier because she couldn’t do it herself. Apparently, a three-hundred-dollar swing that Millie hated was a necessity. It was too much, all of it, and the worst part was Emmeline had to pee!

She was sitting on the couch in the living room, where she had just nursed Millie to sleep. She looked down at her daughter—so peaceful, half-drunk from milk, and making a sucking noise as if she was still nursing in her sleep. Maybe, thought Emmeline, if I move ever so slowly, I can put Millie down and have a chance to go to the bathroom in peace.

She leaned back as far as she could, putting an inch between her and her captor, and then started to wiggle her left butt cheek over. Millie moved. Emmeline froze.

Must move slower.

“What on earth are you doing?” Amy looked at Emmeline as though she was the most ridiculous person on earth. Emmeline rolled her eyes. Despite the house being immaculate, Amy was wearing her bright yellow cleaning gloves, in the midst of scrubbing every surface of the house for the baby shower she had planned for that day. It didn’t seem to matter that Emmeline didn’t want the baby shower; she really just wanted a nap. Besides, none of Emmeline’s friends were coming, only her mother’s, and Emmeline had no interest in spending the afternoon playing “My life is perfect” with them.

“Shhhh,” Emmeline hissed as Millie stirred.

“Just put the baby down,” Amy said, exasperated.

“If I just put the baby down, she’ll wake up, and I’ll have to start all over again,” said Emmeline, through clenched teeth.

“For God’s sakes, you will spoil that baby. Is that what you want? Every time she cries, you come running?”

As if on cue, Millie started to cry, and Emmeline groaned. She picked Millie up and stormed out of the living room, down the hall to the bathroom. It wouldn’t be the first time she went to pee carrying the infant, and she had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last. Thank God for stretchy pants that she could pull down with one hand!

By three o’clock, the house was in a state Mr. Clean would be envious of, and Amy wore a slimming black dress that flared in the skirt, with a simple pair of Mikimoto pearls draped around her neck. She had bought them on a boat tour to Japan, and they were her pride, bringing them out only for special occasions. She had on a pair of yellow heels, looking perfect and completely put-together.

Emmeline was still in her yoga pants and a t-shirt with baby drool decorating the shoulder when the doorbell rang. A throng of ladies, all bearing gifts with pristine pink bows, came barging through the door. Amy showed them to the living room, where music was playing and there was a table full of church lady sweets. A two-tiered cake was the centerpiece, and they oohed and ahhed at it.

With people actually in the house, Emmeline decided she better get dressed for company. One step in her room, and a yawn overtook her face; her bed was extremely tempting. She could just imagine crawling in and falling asleep. Instead, she picked up Millie and changed her into the bundle of pale ivory lace and frills that her mother considered a dress, then found a clean floral maternity dress and put it on. Not exactly the height of fashion, but most of her old clothes still didn’t fit, and those that did just made her feel fat.

She plastered a fake smile on her face and threw her hair up in a ponytail, ignoring the makeup on her vanity that once belonged to her great grandmother. In her previous life, she would have spent hours putting on lipstick, eyeshadow, and blush before a party. Now it lay ignored as she started down the stairs. She would have to do just the way she was.

Just the way she was—she liked that idea. She felt a bolt of steel build up in her spine. If she was going to make it, if she was going to be the person her daughter needed her to be, she had to believe that she was enough. Not just say it, believe it. No one else could teach her daughter that in any meaningful way. It was her job. Millie was her daughter, not her mother’s or anyone else’s.

She went back up the stairs and pulled out a rainbow-striped sleeper from the closet. Emmeline loved it and it fit Millie just right. She had bought it downtown before she even got up the courage to tell her parents she was pregnant. She undressed Millie and put the new outfit on. She looked adorable, and better than that, she looked like her daughter. Emmeline was filled with resolve.

“Well, kid, I don’t know if you’re a frilly girl or a tomboy, but in the meantime, I get to make the decisions for you. When you can talk, we’ll revisit this. What do you think?” She rubbed her baby’s belly and Millie gurgled and spit up a bit. Emmeline wiped her face and snuggled her in closely, smelling her soft baby skin. Would anything ever smell as good as her daughter?

“You ready? Well, me neither, but it’s you and me, kid. And it’s about time we figured this thing out.” Emmeline glanced over at her vanity, and with one arm holding Millie, she picked out a shade of pink that always made her smile and tinted her lips. She yawned, then steadied herself. “There’s no time like the present.”

Chapter Seven

Emmeline walked down the stairs boldly with her newfound sense of purpose adding a wiggle to her hips. She carried Millie snuggled in her arms. For the first time in months, she felt like herself, like she was finally able to breathe.

She landed on the last stair and hopped around the corner. Everyone sat sipping glasses of wine, gossiping about the latest decision by the town to add an odd art feature along the river that seemed to have everyone riled up. Emmeline sucked in her breath and forcefully let it out.

“Oh, Emmeline, there you are,” said Betty, Emmeline’s former grade one teacher, as she walked into the living room. Betty’s short curly brown hair was cut in the typical grandma style, and she wore a soft sympathetic smile.

“Hello, Mrs. Goldish,” Emmeline said, reverting back to age six before she mentally kicked herself.

“Emmeline dear, bring Millie in here,” her mother called from the kitchen.

Emmeline stepped forth and presented her non-frilly daughter. Her mother pinched her lips together and breathed in slowly before she stood up. The look of disapproval swiftly vanished, and she said, “Everyone, I would like to present my granddaughter, Emmeline, Millie for short. You should have seen her earlier—she has this stunning dress that I was hoping she was going to wear.” Her words slowed down slightly at the end of her sentence. “But you know children, always making a mess for their parents. Isn’t that right, Emmeline?”

“Actually, Mom, I put the dress on her, and I thought—I decided that she would look better in this.”

Her mother’s mouth actually dropped open. Emmeline couldn’t help but smirk slightly.

“Aren’t kids funny?” said Amy, struggling to regain her composure. “Why don’t we head into the living room.” She ushered everyone out of the kitchen. As she walked past, she leaned over and whispered forcefully into Emmeline’s ear, “I do expect you to be on your best behavior. They are here for you, and they are my guests. Get it together.”

“You know, Mom, I think this is the first moment that I have actually got it together.”

The door opened and a familiar shrill echoed in her ears. Emmeline instinctively held her daughter closer.

“Why Dorothy, you’re here. I am so glad you could make it,” Amy said in a sickly sweet tone that made Emmeline’s teeth want to fall out of her head.

“Mom, what is she doing here?” she asked, trying to stand taller and pushing her shoulders back.

“She’s the baby’s grandmother, she is supposed to be here,” Amy answered through a forced smile. She leaned over and whispered in Emmeline’s ear, “I’m not thrilled either, but I strongly feel that fences should be mended for Millie’s sake. The first step is to invite her over and have a civilized conversation. Besides, she agreed to back off, didn’t she?”

“There’s my granddaughter,” said Dorothy in a grandiose tone, capturing the attention of the entire room. She spoke as if the scene at the hospital had never happened. Emmeline grabbed a blanket that was on the couch and threw it over Millie’s head just before Dorothy wrapped her arms around them both, holding on a little too tightly.

“You need to leave,” said Emmeline, pushing her back a little: Millie began to whimper. The rest of the guests filed into the living room—because they sensed some juicy gossip was coming their way, Emmeline figured.

“I just came here to see my granddaughter. You haven’t even let me hold her yet,” said Dorothy, playing the victim.

“That’s because you tried to take her away from me. What did you expect?”

“I was helping. Doesn’t anyone understand that? I was doing what any decent mother would do, volunteering to clean up after your mess. You could be a little grateful.”

Emmeline’s mouth gaped open like a codfish. Her mother elbowed her in the arm, reminding Emmeline her appearance was unbecoming.

“Now,” continued Dorothy. “Now, will you let me see my granddaughter?”

“Over my dead body.”

“Listen up, young lady. I am her grandmother, I have the right to see her.”

By this time the group of women in attendance were practically salivating. This must be the most interesting baby shower they had ever been to.

“You, Dorothy, are only looking after your own interests. You want everyone to look at you like the dutiful grandmother that had to swoop in after your son was duped by the town slut. Well, I can tell you something: I don’t need you, and neither does Millie. We are doing just fine.” Emmeline was grateful that the words came out just as she intended. There was a first time for everything.

“I think you are overreacting, child.” Dorothy pulled at the hairs at the side of her head, yanking several of them out one by one, and then straightened her dark cherry blazer.

“I am not a child. I ceased to be one the moment I pushed my own child out of my body. Now get out.” Her voice was cool and even.

“I am not being kicked out of my own granddaughter’s baby shower.” Dorothy’s face turned the same color as her blazer and she pursed her lips.

“Mom, I think that’s enough,” Nicholas said, shutting the front door behind him. There had been so much commotion, no one even noticed he was there. He mouthed “Sorry,” to Emmeline and then wrapped his arm around his mother in a formal hug.

“Nicholas, darling, I am so glad you’re here. I can’t do anything with this girl. I tell you, your next girlfriend should be much more reasonable.”

“I’m not going to have any more girlfriends, Mom, I told you that before,” Nicholas said, running his hand through his hair. “I think you should go. This is not the time, and we talked about starting to slowly mend fences, not bursting in and taking over.”

“You’re young, and I just don’t want you to shut all your doors before you become an adult. You know I only want the best for you and Millie. Her, on the other hand…” Nicholas glared at her and Dorothy changed course. She turned to the other women in the room and said, “He only started shaving a few months ago, just a baby, really.”

Nicholas blushed, stammering.

“She’s your mother, Nicholas. Do something with her, or I will.” Emmeline’s lips drew a hard line. She was trying so hard to hold her temper, but her will was slipping.

“Emmeline, why don’t we go?” Nicholas said. “I have something to show you.” There was a spark in his eye that intrigued Emmeline.

“She can’t leave!” shouted Amy, startled. “It’s her baby shower!”

The other women in the room nodded while munching on their chips and deviled eggs and glanced at their presents on the coffee table as if to prove Amy right. Emmeline assumed they were none too eager for the show to be over.

“Well, either she leaves, or I do.” Emmeline shrugged.

“You do not have the authority to kick me out,” Dorothy said, her hands on her hips, spitting the words out like a viper.

“Then that just leaves me,” Emmeline said. “Sorry, Mom. Give me a minute, Nicholas, to get Millie ready.” And she walked up the stairs to her bedroom with Nicholas hot on her tail.

“I’m so sorry about my mom. I don’t know what has got into her. She’s like a different person these days,” he said, taking his daughter from Emmeline while she packed the diaper bag. He kissed Millie on the head and snuggled her in closely. Emmeline knew how much he hated being away from her. He said over and over how wrong it felt.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t take it anymore.”

“I know, babe. I’m sorry I didn’t make it here sooner. I just heard she had come.”

“At least you’re here now.” She stopped what she was doing and placed a hand on his chest. Touching him had a calming effect. He leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips.

“I have a surprise for you,” he whispered in her ear.

“Really?” She could use a little surprise, a little fun.

“Yes, let’s go now. I can’t want to wait to show you.”

Emmeline grinned.

Chapter Eight

“This is it,” Nicholas said as he pulled into the railway station where he worked. His father had helped him land the job. As a successful businessman and generous philanthropist, it hadn’t been a big deal for him to connect Nicholas with the man who ran the train station, and it turned out to be a perfect fit. It didn’t pay too badly, he could work after school, and as an added bonus, it included a generous benefits package along with life insurance, which was hard to come by when working part time.

“I don’t understand, why are we here?” She reached into the back seat and put the soother that had popped out of Millie’s mouth back in before the inevitable crying started.

“Just wait, you’ll see.” He reached up and ran his hand through his hair.

He’s got something up his sleeve, Emmeline thought excitedly, and it’s big.

“Any clues?” she pried.

“Nope!”

The clouds were thick and fluffy, and a cool summer breeze met them as they stepped out of the car in front of the hundred-year-old grey brick train station. It had a low, sloping roof and rounded window frames painted in a dark green as an homage to the town’s official colour and trimmed in a pale yellow.

“What are we doing here?” Emmeline asked impatiently, pulling Millie’s car seat out of the back seat.

“Just wait,” Nicholas said, grinning. He took her by the hand and led her around to the now defunct train museum. It was a series of six cars sitting on a separate set of tracks made just for the museum’s purpose, a little ways away from the main line. In the fifties, these cars had been renovated and placed on a short set of tracks just for the public to tour. There was an engine car, one first class, a second class, a bedroom bunk car, a club car, and at the end there was the caboose. At one point, people from all over the county went through the little museum, paying fifty cents a pop. But over the years funding for upkeep was cut, and then it was only open on weekends, then only weekends in the summer. It had closed officially three years prior, but hadn’t been removed, partially from lack of funding to even get rid of it, and partially because there was a strong group of citizens who felt like it should be reopened and were always fighting on its behalf. In the meantime, it had fallen victim to graffiti and Halloween egg assaults from restless teens bored of life in a small town. The shiny paint had faded, and it was falling into disrepair. Something needed to be done. Either it had to go, or there needed to be someone who would take care of it.

The train was owned by the historical society, a committed group of Port Hope residents who worked tirelessly so that not one of the important elements of their local history would be lost. Nicholas brought her around to the first-class car, and climbed the metal stairs, pulled an aged set of keys out of his pocket, and opened the door.

“Welcome home, Emmeline.” Blushing slightly, he moved awkwardly, as if unsure whether to pick her up and carry her over the threshold like they did in old movies or not. Instead, he took the handle of Millie’s car seat and walked inside after Emmeline.

“I don’t understand,” she said, eyeing him suspiciously. “Isn’t this place closed?”

“Yes, for now,” he said. “But they’re going to reopen it. In the meantime, they wanted someone here full time to watch it and make sure the outside isn’t damaged any further. They finally have the funds to restore the museum, but they can’t do it for another eight months or so when the grant money they need is supposed to come in. In the meantime, I’ve arranged for us to stay here. My boss knows what’s going on with us, and he’s a member of the historical society. He came to me and mentioned it. He knows how hard the past few months have been. I know it’s not much, but at least…” He was stopped mid-sentence. Emmeline felt like a weight had been lifted off her chest. She threw her arms around him and kissed him, with Millie in her car seat stuck in between them.

A place of our own, she thought as Nicholas showed them around. Emmeline had been through as a kindergarten kid, but hadn’t thought much of it ever since. It couldn’t be more perfect. There was a visitor’s washroom in the club car as well as a spot for a microwave. It was already set up to serve coffee and sandwiches in the small cafe, which had closed down the year before the rest of the train. The electricity still worked, and so did a small fridge. They toured the sleeper car, which held two rooms with bunk beds. It would do. Millie’s playpen could fit into one room, and Emmeline and Nicholas could sleep in the other. The second class car could be their family room. She laughed; they even had a formal living room for company in the first class car.

Millie began to cry, tired of being in her car seat: it wasn’t her favorite place. Nicholas carefully undid the straps and pulled her out.

“What do you think of our new house, Millie?” he asked, holding her cheek next to his. Millie drooled and Emmeline grabbed a receiving blanket and wiped it up.

“When can we move in?” She already saw herself living there, and hoped that it would be soon.

“It’s ours, now and for the next eight months. It should give us enough time to get on our feet and figure out what to do next. The best part is, it’s rent free, in exchange for keeping the place safe.”

“Really?” Emmeline asked, trying to stay cool, but the excitement slipped through anyway. Nicholas laughed.

Emmeline didn’t want to think about next. All she could think about was now. She could finally start her life with her baby the way she was supposed to. This train was paradise and her ticket to freedom. She took Millie from Nicholas and plastered kisses all over her chubby cheeks.

“Yeah, really. I don’t know where we’ll go next, but…” His cheeks pinkened as he struggled to finish the sentence.

“It doesn’t matter. I just want to enjoy this moment.” This was more than she could hope for. She kissed Nicholas on the cheek and then spun Millie around. “Do you see this, Millie? Daddy got us a new house. And let’s face it, it’s the coolest house around.”

Nicholas laughed again, visibly pleased with himself, and surely relieved that she was happy with the idea.

With the initial tour over, Emmeline started to mentally place their meager belongings in their new home.

“Here is the bedroom, this is where Mommy and Daddy are going to sleep, and this will be your room—but don’t worry, if you just want to sleep with Mommy, then you can. You don’t ever have to be apart from us.”

“She’s sleeping in her own room, Emmeline,” Nicholas said dryly.

“Don’t you listen to mean ol’ Daddy. You sleep wherever you want.” Emmeline winked at Nicholas. “So, can we get our stuff and move in now?”

“Let’s wait. I just want to enjoy this first. My parents don’t know I’m leaving yet, and I’m pretty sure it’s going to be rough.”

Emmeline clenched her teeth. She hadn’t thought about actually telling everyone they were moving that until that very moment. The prospect dulled her excitement, like putting water on a fire.

Chapter Nine

It was therapeutic, quietly unpacking her clothes and put them in the miniature closet in the bunk car of the train. Admittedly, it was probably only going to fit about four of her shirts and Nicholas would have to find somewhere else to put his clothes. Space was at a premium.

It was odd thinking that her first home would be on a train. It wasn’t what she had imagined, but it was theirs and she loved it. A place where she could finally breathe and be herself, away from the further hurt and disappointment they had caused their parents by their decision to move in together. She knew this wasn’t going to be their forever home, just a place to live for eight short months. She pushed away the anxiety caused by their uncertain future and sighed. Right now, things were good, really good. They were starting their lives altogether, just the way she had imagined for the past several months as she felt her belly grow.

“Hey, Babe,” said Nicholas, wrapping his arms around her waist and snuggling his lips in close to her neck. “Are you finished?”

“Almost.” She pulled out another shirt from her suitcase and pushed the rest of the clothes in the closet as far over as she could to try and make room for just one more item. They hadn’t officially unpacked the night they moved in, or even the day after that, both still traumatized by their parents’ reactions to the move. Emmeline was a little worried that Nicholas regretted his decision to bring all of them here; he had hardly spoken that first day. It stung, but every time she really started to think about it, Millie needed her attention. Somehow that was a blessing.

Today when Nicholas woke up, the spark had returned to his eyes, and he had made her much-needed coffee and gave it to her in bed. They were happy.

Telling their parents they were moving went as expected. Her mom cried. She’d never seen her mom cry before. Emmeline couldn’t change her decision, though. Millie needed a mom who was strong, who had a hold on the situation, not some pathetic screw-up whose well-meaning parents questioned her every move and undermined her authority. Emmeline had quickly packed her and Millie’s things and went back to the train where Nicholas and Millie were waiting. She hadn’t brought Millie with her, sure it would have made the whole thing harder. Unfortunately, Amy took it as a slight, accusing Emmeline of keeping Millie away from her like she had done with Dorothy. Her mom was a pain in the butt, but she didn’t hate her.

Nicholas’s story wasn’t as successful. His mother went hysterical, throwing things at him, calling him a disgraceful ingrate. His father finally had to interfere, handing Dorothy two Xanax and a glass of water. It seemed to be one of his regular roles these days. Nicholas looked at his dad for sympathy, but he didn’t offer any, seemingly lost, not knowing what to do. Finally, Nicholas promised that he would stay, and snuck out later that night.

Three months later, they still hadn’t talked to him. Not even to tell him that they had paid for him to go back to private school. A letter came from Clifton Hill Academy to confirm his admittance for that year. He called home to say thank you, but no one answered and no one returned his calls. It broke his heart. Emmeline knew it. It broke her heart. He was working so hard; he did everything for them.

Emmeline’s parents offered to pay for her to go back to school at Clifton, but she instead decided to finish her high school diploma by correspondence. She didn’t want to be away from Millie, especially since she was still nursing her. Home schooling was her best option, and she could tailor it to Millie’s feeding schedule. She didn’t resent Nicholas going back to school as normal. It just was how it was, and it would be better for all of them for Nicholas to graduate as he had planned.

Emmeline started her coursework to finish her last year of high school in early August. They didn’t have a TV, and Nicholas was working as much as he could before the summer was over, so she began to plow through her courses faster than she had imagined was possible. By mid-September, it became a race for Emmeline to see how fast she could finish, and she teased Nicholas that she’d be done with high school long before he would.

On October first, Millie surprised Emmeline by rolling over for the first time. It happened in the morning, and by the afternoon Millie became so proud of her accomplishment that every time Emmeline put her down on her stomach, she rolled onto her back. Emmeline called Nicholas on his cell phone and left a message for him to meet them at the beach when he was done with school for the day. She had a big surprise.

Emmeline spread a blanket out on the sand, taking advantage of probably the last warm day before things began to cool down for winter in Canada. The sun was strong, and she dressed in jeans and an oversized light pink sweater, throwing her long hair up in an elastic, thinking how long it had been since she had last had it cut and styled. But enjoying these last warm days was a must, especially when you could celebrate a baby milestone at the same time.

A warm breeze blew off the lake, and Emmeline laid out the dinner she had spent the better part of the afternoon making, then nursed Millie peacefully to the sound of the waves gently rolling up the sand. Nicholas joined them a little while later. Emmeline’s heart fluttered as she saw him get out of the car and walk toward them. He was so good looking, even with the circles that were settling under his eyes these days. Emmeline still caught herself looking at him, thinking how lucky she was, and at times she still couldn’t believe he loved her.

“Hey, my beautiful girls,” he called out as he got closer. Emmeline put Millie on the blanket and got up to kiss him hello. “What’s the surprise?”

Emmeline smiled playfully. “Just wait, you’ll see.”

“What? Aren’t you going to tell me? I thought that was the point of coming here.”

His arms wrapped warmly around her as she pressed her body toward his. He reached down and squeezed her bum, keeping half an eye on his daughter. Just then, Millie let out a loud cry.

“What? What is she doing?” he asked, pulling away slightly. His eyes bulged out of his head as he watched his daughter flip over, landing on her back. “No, she can’t do that! She’s too little!”

“Surprise!” Emmeline couldn’t help but beam. She sat down on the blanket next to Millie and turned her back over while Nicholas joined them.

“Are you sure we should be letting her do this?” he asked, clearly unsure if he should be proud papa or ground Millie on the spot.

“Yes, she’s fine. Besides, I don’t think there’s any way to stop her. Once she started this morning, she kept on going. Millie seems to have a mind of her own.”

“That’s unfortunate,” he answered dryly.

“I think she just might take after her parents.” A little sheepish, Emmeline rolled her eyes upward.

“Shall we lock her in her room now, or do we wait until she’s a year or two older? I don’t like this mind of her own thing.”

They pushed the food out of the way to give Millie more room to roll, and then waited patiently for it to happen again. Of course, because they were watching, Millie promptly stopped. Eventually, they dove hungrily into the food.

“You know, this is pretty good,” Nicholas said. “I had no idea you could cook when we moved in together.”

“Neither did I. I never tried before.”

He took another bite just as Millie rolled, this time from her back to her front. “You know we’re never going to keep her in one place now.”

“Ugh, I don’t even want to think about it.”

“I can’t believe they’re missing out on this.” He gazed at the water with a faraway look in his eye. He didn’t have to say who; she knew he meant his family.

She leaned over and put her head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around her.

If only there was a way she could fix it.

Chapter Ten

As October wore on, the air chilled and Millie began to roll and wiggle with more and more confidence. By December, she had grown so much that neither Emmeline nor Nicholas could believe it. With only weeks until Christmas, Nicholas wasn’t acting like himself. Emmeline could see sadness lurking behind his normally vivid eyes, and feel the heaviness weighing on him that she knew he was trying to mask. She finally confronted him. Nicholas broke down and wept for the first time. With the holidays coming up and dreadfully missing his brother, he was done with their exile. She sent him out for an evening with Callum, hoping some downtime would do him good, but although he had fun, she could tell it didn’t erase the ache of missing his family.

Emmeline had heard through the grapevine there were problems on the other end as well. Dorothy wasn’t showing up at her regular committee meetings, which was unusual.

Emmeline hadn’t spoken to Dorothy herself since the baby shower. Part of her felt bad that Dorothy was apparently struggling, but she wasn’t the only one affected. It was time to move on and get over it. To tell the truth, Emmeline got angry every time she thought about it. Dorothy went on and on about how she and Nicholas were still children and didn’t know what they were doing, but Emmeline couldn’t help but think how much Dorothy acted like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. Emmeline didn’t say anything to Nicholas about what she thought. For once her tongue didn’t get the better of her when she and Nicholas were talking.

Emmeline decided to swallow her pride and put aside caution so that she could attempt to fix things with Dorothy. It might just be the best present she could give Nicholas, especially since she couldn’t afford anything of significance. Maybe, with the time that had passed and the holidays coming up, Dorothy would be able to see reason. If not for Emmeline’s sake, at the very least for Nicholas’s. She decided to take Millie to their house while Nicholas was in school. She didn’t want to tell him she did this if it didn’t work out.

It took her an hour and a half to walk there, pushing the stroller and cursing the hills that defined Port Hope. Thankfully, it was still mild outside, just a little under freezing. She wrapped Millie in a blanket that had been a gift from Dorothy, hoping the gesture would mean something. Before today, she’d never used it, but it seemed like the right thing to do. Emmeline spent the entire morning working hard on her school assignments while almost-five-month-old Millie played. Emmeline was plowing through her work and her overall marks had improved since she started doing her distance education.

She turned down the driveway. The house was even bigger than she remembered, or maybe all her time in the cramped train car was clouding her memory. It was hard to remember her life before Millie. There was nothing the same. Her world, instead of revolving around her friends, what party to go to, or her current celebrity crush, was now all about diapers, baby feedings, and those precious moments she got to spend with Nicholas alone when Millie fell asleep for a few brief hours.

That was what she would tell his parents. What he had done for her and Millie. He was their rock. She would never have been able to do this without him. His calming nature soothed Millie and lulled Emmeline into some sense that everything was going to be okay, like he never doubted anything for a second. All while working, going to school, and somehow completing his homework, which became more and more demanding each day. He didn’t complain. He didn’t get mad. He was a freakin’ angel, and the very least he deserved was to have his mother recognize it! Emmeline’s anger simmered under the surface.

Seeing the house for the first time in months made her hands shake. Walking up the steps to the front door was intimidating. She almost turned back, but she remembered Nicholas’s face and steeled herself. She wasn’t going to let Dorothy get to her. Emmeline hoped for both their sakes that Dorothy had taken an extra Xanax that morning.

She rang the doorbell and heard it echo throughout the house. Dorothy answered a minute later. She stood there looking at her, picking out a strand of hair that was beginning to thin and yanking on it.

“Hello,” said Emmeline, trying to break the awkward silence. “Can we come in? I need to change Millie, and I would prefer not to do that in the cold.”

“Well, of course,” she said, snapping back into focus and ushering them in.

The house was impeccably decorated for Christmas. Lush garlands with sparkly bows wrapped the bannister leading to the second floor, and a centrepiece of overflowing red poinsettias in a crystal planter was displayed on a round table in the ample hallway.

Dorothy led them into the Victorian parlor with a white marble floor. Almost everything in this room seemed breakable, and Emmeline was always afraid of moving wrong or of dropping something on the delicate white velvet settees that faced each other. In between them stood an intricately carved walnut coffee table with a Belleek woven china basket on it. Behind each settee was a couch table decorated with precious sparkling cranberry lusters. The walls held shelves that boasted such things as Dresden china figurines and Wedgewood pill boxes and portraits in gilded frames.

“I think I need to take Millie to the bathroom,” Emmeline said sheepishly. There was no way she could change her kid in there, especially not with what she smelled coming from Millie’s diaper.

Dorothy nodded and pointed in the general direction of the bathroom. It wasn’t exactly the way Emmeline wanted to start their visit. That morning she had planned everything she wanted to say in between working on her essay on Canadian history and fumbling over her advanced calculus. The idea was to talk to Dorothy rationally and invite her to be part of Millie’s life with a welcoming smile on her face. She’d let Dorothy hold Millie and Emmeline would do all this for Nicholas to try and repair the rift. Truthfully, she didn’t care if this woman was tossed off a cliff. She’d happily never talk to her again, but Dorothy was Millie’s grandmother, and it would mean the world to Nicholas. Besides, it was Christmas. Now was the time.

She changed Millie, and then came back out to join Dorothy, who had set out a tray of tea on a silver service along with a few plain biscuits. They sat down, straight-backed as the settees were designed to do, and Emmeline reached for a biscuit. She was starving, a side effect of nursing. The biscuits tasted like sawdust.

Good to see that she brought out the good stuff for her granddaughter’s first visit, Emmeline thought to herself, although she didn’t like the bitterness that Dorothy was bringing out of her. It didn’t feel like herself.

“Why are you here?” Dorothy glanced over at Millie as though she didn’t want to be caught doing it.

Millie squirmed, protesting having to sit on Emmeline’s lap. Millie, Emmeline was learning, preferred to do her own thing, and being made to sit still wasn’t exactly her idea of fun. She wouldn’t stand it for very long. Emmeline reached into her diaper bag, pulled out a blanket, and spread it on the floor beside her feet. She placed Millie on it, which was much more to her liking. She rolled over, grabbed at her feet, and stuck a toe in her mouth after ripping off her sock.

“I know the situation hasn’t been the greatest,” Emmeline started as she had rehearsed. “But I don’t see why we can’t put this whole thing behind us and start over.”

Inside her mind, she begged over and over, Please, let this witch come around. Please, I’ll even stop calling her a witch. Nicholas needs this. Please. Let this work.

Dorothy squinted. It was clear that she was suspicious. Emmeline wondered what she could do to take the questioning look out of her eyes. Obviously, their time apart hadn’t cooled the animosity that Dorothy felt for her. Please let this work, she prayed silently.

Chapter Eleven

Emmeline swallowed hard, and then started again, speaking carefully. “I know you never got to hold Millie at the hospital, so I thought I’d bring her by so you could have a chance now.” She silently added you stupid cow to the end of the sentence and plastered a smile across her face.

“You’re right, you robbed me of that chance to spend time with my granddaughter. You didn’t even consult with us on her name.” Dorothy blinked twice.

She wasn’t going to make this easy.

“I didn’t realize that you wanted to be consulted. I believe you said I could have that much, at the very least, when you were going to rob me…” Damn, I took the bait, Emmeline thought. “Excuse me,” she said, slowing down. “I apologize”—inwardly gritting her teeth—“I didn’t realize it was important to you.”

“Your naivety astounds me. Of course, everything about my granddaughter interests me. Millie,” she huffed as if a child by that name was the end of the world.

“Emmeline is a wonderful name, and one that means a lot to my family. You can hardly blame me for wanting my daughter to carry on in our tradition.” Emmeline forcefully bit her tongue, and a metallic taste mixed with her saliva.

Even though it hadn’t been Emmeline’s intention to name Millie after her, it seemed to suit the squirmy baby on the floor, with her little tufts of sticky-up hair and the pink bows clamped into it, as if that was what the universe had intended for her all along.

“Yes, well, you could have done worse,” Dorothy finally conceded. She picked up her wine glass instead of a teacup and drunk three oversized gulps. Emmeline tried to change the subject.

“Nicholas was so pleased that you made the arrangements for him to go back to school this year. I know he tried to call.” Emmeline attempted to sound bright and optimistic, but to her own ears, she just sounded fake.

“We weren’t going to deprive him of his studies. We aren’t heartless, you know.” Dorothy made an exaggerated cough, and Emmeline clenched her fists and widened her smile. Dorothy got up and poured herself another glass of wine, ignoring the tea going cold on the table.

“He’s doing quite well, actually. None of his marks have suffered. He works so hard at it. You should be proud.”

“Yes, I know. I get a copy of his grades.”

Nothing. She’s not even trying. This might have been a total waste of time. She eyed Dorothy up and down, trying to assess if she was just being her normal abrasive self, or if she was a little tipsy.

“Would you like to hold her?” She tried to sound as sincere as possible. This is for Nicholas, she reminded herself. He missed this woman, even if Emmeline couldn’t quite understand it herself. She clung to the knowledge that at least Dorothy didn’t go through on all her threats, but still, it was like a wound being torn open every time she thought about it.

“I think it would be about time,” said Dorothy.

I might just live to regret this. Emmeline reached down and picked up her daughter, who was now sucking loudly on her middle three fingers. She handed her to Dorothy and held her breath.

Millie took one look at the stiff old lady who was staring at her, appraising her as if she were about to buy her at auction, and started to wail. Emmeline wanted to grab her back, but sat on her hands. Perhaps it still could work.

“How is Erik doing?” Emmeline asked casually. She knew that Erik snuck in regular phone calls to his big brother, but suspiciously he never said too much about their parents—at least, not that Nicholas shared.

“Why are you crying?” Dorothy asked a now full-out sobbing Millie. “Your father never did that, you know.” Dorothy’s hissing lecture was heard plainly above the noise. Emmeline resisted as her daughter reached for her. If she took her back now, it would be over.

“Maybe if you hold her closer,” she calmly suggested, while inwardly cringing. Millie—she tried to telepathically connect to her daughter—stop crying please, for Daddy’s sake, stop crying.

Dorothy held Millie closer and Millie fought back, getting angrier by the second.

Please, Millie, please, Emmeline silently willed, just as her daughter let out a wall-shaking wail, signalling the end of the world in her little mind. How could you blame her? She knew this woman was no good, she had no relationship with her, and she could more than likely sense the turmoil going on in Emmeline’s head.

“This is no use,” Dorothy said finally, and handed her back. Millie immediately stopped crying.

“Thanks, kid,” Emmeline whispered, then plastered soothing kisses on Millie’s cheek.

“You have obviously turned her against me.” Dorothy sat up a bit straighter and pursed her lips.

A dull throbbing started in Emmeline’s temple. “She hasn’t had enough time to get to know you. Besides, she’s an independent little thing, much happier just sitting on the floor playing. Really, she’s a very good baby.”

“Does Nicholas know you brought her by?”

“No, I wanted to make it a surprise. Let him know that everything is okay. Sort of like a Christmas present.”

“I see. Well, as far as I can tell, the damage has been done. And you can tell him that until he stops this nonsense and comes home, there will be no change.”

“How can you be so unreasonable? He’s not a puppet that you can dictate his every move. He did what was right for his kid.”

“And I am doing what is right for mine!”

This was stupid. How did I ever think that I could reason with her? Emmeline forcefully packed up Millie’s few toys and picked up her daughter.

“You came to me, and now you can’t handle things, so you’re going to run off again! What did you expect? You seduce my son, get yourself pregnant, then manipulate him to move away from home and take my granddaughter to live in squalor. I’ve done everything that I can for him until he comes to his senses and gets rid of you. This is actually what being a parent is like, and sometimes tough love is necessary.”

Tears stung the corners of Emmeline’s eyes, but there was no way she would let this woman see her cry. She would never let her win. She swung the diaper bag over her shoulder and quickly walked for the door. She couldn’t get out of there fast enough. This house was cursed—worse, an actual witch lived there.

Dorothy didn’t even see her to the door. Emmeline opened it, put Millie in the waiting stroller outside, and slammed the door shut behind her. She could hear the echo. At least there was one sliver of satisfaction: maybe one of Dorothy’s precious figurines would be knocked off the mantle and smash. She knew it was stupid, but the idea made her feel just slightly better.

She walked down the pathway toward the road with only one thought in her mind.

How am I going to explain this to Nicholas?

Chapter Twelve

As she walked home, tears burned the corners of her eyes. Emmeline knew how badly she had failed to fix things with Dorothy. But they quickly dried up and turned into anger. By the time she reached the bottom of the hill that Dorothy’s house was planted on, Emmeline was in a full-fledged stomp. She couldn’t believe she had actually gone out of her way to make up with that woman, but part of her couldn’t help but be grateful. Emmeline could now officially go on for the rest of her life knowing she did everything she could do to fix their relationship, and the sliver of guilt which had been residing in her heart, the nagging suspicion that maybe she should have reacted in a different way or treated the situation differently, was gone. That in itself was a gift.

How do I explain to Nicholas I just cut off any future connection to his family? She groaned. The only thing she could decide was, she needed to wait until her anger calmed down before telling him.

It took a week.

Nicholas snuck across the train tracks as the sun went down, looking for dinner. A snow storm had closed many of the tracks, and trains were delayed, making the station abnormally quiet. No one was venturing out if they didn’t have to, and it seemed as though many who worked in the city, normally commuting back and forth, were staying there. Emmeline didn’t miss the loud whistles announcing their presence that frequently woke Millie up, or the whooshing sounds of the trains that went through and didn’t stop.

With only a few days until Christmas, and everything shut down due to the heavy flakes of snow serenely falling, Emmeline’s temper had subsided and she decided to decorate for the holiday. It was Millie’s first one, after all. A few days earlier she had managed to take Millie to see Santa at the grocery store where they gave out free photos of the kids. Emmeline ended up with an adorable picture of Millie on Santa’s knee with her tongue sticking out, which now proudly sat on one of the tables in the second-class car. Afterwards, she had gone to the dollar store and picked up a set of lights to make their train car feel a little festive. There was no room for a tree, no money either, so that wasn’t even an option, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t room for some twinkly lights to brighten the place up.

At first, she thought that she would string the lights up along the windows, spreading them out, but at the last second, she changed her mind and pulled out some scotch tape. She folded the lights in half, found the middle, and taped it to the wall of the train near the ceiling. From there she wove the lights back and forth until she made a design of a tree out of them.

She stood back from her handiwork and examined it. This might be a poor man’s Charlie Brown tree, but it was a tree, and it fit in the cramped space. Most importantly, she felt satisfied that her daughter would have a tree for her first Christmas.

“What do you think, kid?” she asked Millie.

Millie clapped her hands. She had just learned to clap and was doing it non-stop, in between sucking on her middle three fingers. In this case, however, Emmeline thought of it as approval.

The door opened and a gust of wind and several snowball sized-flakes blew in, along with a shivering man. White flakes crusted Nicholas’s hair, and little piles rested on the shoulders of his black winter coat from the short walk over.

“I was hoping you’d come back for a while,” Emmeline said. Immediately Millie raised her arms for her father to pick her up. As he did, she babbled happily and patted the snow on his shoulders.

“There’s my little Angel Face,” he said, and zoobered her cheek. Millie threw her head back out in a fit of giggles. They were two peas in a pod, those two. “The station is dead, I thought maybe I’d come home for something hot to eat.”

“You’re in luck, it’s gourmet spaghetti.” Emmeline was still just learning how to cook, but she was really starting to love it, something that surprised her more than anyone. Tonight’s meal consisted of spaghetti noodles covered in tomato soup. Pretty basic stuff, but it was cheap, and Millie loved to play with the long strings of noodles. She didn’t exactly eat them—she was just starting on solid food with her two brand new front teeth—but they did make an excellent toy. Emmeline longed to try some different things out. If only she had the money for all the ingredients in the dishes she wanted to try from the cookbooks she was poring over these days.

“Perfect,” he said.

Tonight, she decided, she would tell Nicholas about the fiasco with his mother, although she hated to break the peacefulness that the falling snow had brought.

“Before you start eating, I have a confusions I have to make—a confession, I mean.” As she broke into the story, her hands were shaking. She hoped he would understand that she was trying to make things better. Her words tripped over themselves and were scattered, as if they were trying to all come out at once, not making sense the way she had rehearsed in her head.

Nicholas asked a few questions about how his mother was doing, and what she had said. He laughed when he heard that Millie didn’t want to do anything but play on the floor, but she could see his heart was breaking. She didn’t know until this moment how deep his wounds ran. His separation from his family was more painful for him than she had even imagined.

He was quiet, and didn’t touch his dinner afterwards. Finally, he got up from the table and left, not even saying good bye.

“Crap,” she said as the door shut behind him with a bang.

“Blulaaaabrap,” Millie answered back. Emmeline looked at her sideways.

Chapter Thirteen

It was drafty inside the train car, and Emmeline put a sweater over Millie’s long-sleeve striped onesie, catching it on the baby’s head. Millie laughed, thinking it was a game of peek-a-boo, and clapped her hands. Emmeline fixed the sweater, but her mind was somewhere else.

What do I do? Give him space, or run after him?

She went back and forth, not able to make a decision. She remembered that dreadful moment when she first told him she was pregnant and he ran off. It was space he needed then, maybe space was what he needed now. It went against her every instinct. She wanted to run after him to make sure everything was okay. However, the weather was so bad, she didn’t like the idea of taking Millie out, especially when it was time to put her to bed. Millie’s bedtime ritual was important and Emmeline had learned the hard way that messing with it wasn’t a good idea unless she wanted to stay up all night with a crying baby. Maybe if it wasn’t so bad outside, she’d be tempted to risk the crying baby just to settle things with Nicholas.

It was unusual for there to be such storms in December; usually they didn’t rear their ugly heads until the end of January. She missed the warmth. It felt like it had been weeks since she didn’t feel at least slightly chilled.

She called Ginny, but she didn’t answer. Emmeline figured she must be out at some volunteer thing or another. That girl was always doing something, especially since it was her last year in high school, and she was hoping to get into university and study to be a lawyer. She needed her university application form to be spectacular and was working hard to make it so. Emmeline tried Callum next. Thankfully he answered. She explained everything, babbling on and on, getting it all out. He patiently listened, teasing her along the way.

“You know Nicky won’t be mad at you. You were trying to make things better.” Emmeline trusted Callum’s judgment. He might be the only person on earth who knew Nicholas better than she did. “Nicky loves you. Just give him time. Besides, you’re far too cute to stay mad at!”

“Callum, you didn’t see him,” Emmeline said, ignoring that last comment. She was happy to get it off her chest. Talking to Callum usually left her feeling better. He was so lighthearted and fun, and even though he wasn’t serious, sometimes his flirting made her feel good. Most importantly, she felt safe talking to him. It took her mind off of her present problems. By the time she got off the phone, she felt better. She just hoped he was right.

She put the kettle on, thinking a cup of hot chocolate might help. It might help her feel better if she put some peppermint schnapps in it, not that she was old enough to drink.

That was the weird thing about being a teenage mom: you had all the responsibility, an entire life depending on you for their every need. There were bills to pay, paperwork to fill out, and yet you were too young to vote, too young to drink, too young to get loans without co-signers. People wouldn’t rent apartments to you because you were too young.

It was hard. But she wouldn’t trade Millie for the world, even if she might trade how old she was when she had her. Emmeline tried to see what her daughter’s future would hold, this train car kid, her Boxcar Millie. She wanted big things for her. She wanted her to grow up and go after life. She wanted her to take on the world. She could be a CEO of a major corporation, or human rights lawyer, or start a non-profit that would address the injustices and problems that plagued this world.

The idea of this baby with drool soaking the front of her bib becoming an adult was weird to think about. It was hard to imagine her tall, with hair, saying proper words, but it would happen whether she wanted it to or not. She would grow and become more and more her own person. Emmeline wanted Millie to grow to want more in life than to accept the status quo, to fight hard for what she wanted. Emmeline realized that for that to happen, she would have to conquer in the same fight. Right now, she would have to fight for Nicholas. She still wasn’t sure if she had screwed up by talking to Dorothy, but that was in the past, and he needed to accept the situation that they were in right now. Emmeline would have to make him see that.

The wind howled outside, rushing between the train cars and the train station. A train blew by, the first one for several hours, surprising her. She looked at the time. Another hour and Nicholas’s shift would be over. She hoped that he would be coming back, and that he would be in the mood for talking.

She put Millie to bed, reading her a story first. She only had one story, but she read it to her every night, even though the reading level was way beyond her six months.

“Evangelina Magdalina Rose Beth Murtz was waiting for the best day ever to begin,” she started. Emmeline could recite the words to the book by heart. Millie’s eyes closed halfway through the story, and Emmeline put her into her playpen bed with her cuddle blanket, and then paced the floors anxiously as she waited for Nicolas to return. This was when she longed for a TV to put on a movie or lose herself in some TV show. Instead, she pulled out a stack of cards and played solitaire until she heard a thump outside that made her stomach clench. A few moments later, the door opened.

He was home.

“Nicholas,” she began as he took off his coat. “I am so sorry, please, you have to forgive me.”

“Come here,” he said. “Wait, did you do that?” He seemed to notice for the first time the lights strung up in the shape of a tree.

“Nah, Millie did it,” she said cheekily. “You know that girl, the queen of craftiness.” Then she kicked herself; this wasn’t the time to be silly, and she was getting distracted.

“She did a good job.”

He got her.

“Come here,” he said, and she went. He wrapped his arms around her and they stared at the tree. He stood a head taller than her, and she felt so safe in his arms.

He bent his head down and snuggled in, placing small kisses on her neck. Her entire body relaxed.

“Thank you,” he said finally.

“For what?” Emmeline asked, lifting her head too abruptly.

He laughed. “You know. I was so stunned that you went over there to talk to Mom, I didn’t know what to say. I know how you feel about her. I know what that cost you.”

“I hate seeing you upset. I had to do it. I just wish it worked.”

“It doesn’t matter. She drew her line in the sand, and I will too.” He reached into his pocket and pulled something small and shiny out of it. Emmeline gasped. He held the ring fitted with a tiny diamond in front of her.

“I can’t afford much, and well, if I’m honest, this was left in the lost and found bucket at the station. It’s been there for a year and no one has claimed it. So, I decided that it needed a new home. Will you—not today, maybe sometime way later, you know, when we have figured this thing all out—but you know not that far away—man, I am screwing this up.”

“Yes, oh please yes!” She looked deep into his eyes, which shone, reflecting the sparkly Christmas lights.

“Wait! You have to wait until I get the words out!”

“Okay, then get on with it.”

“Emmeline Hope, will you…”

“Yes!”

“No, wait! Maybe I won’t ask you if you keep interrupting me.”

She gave him a fake scowl.

“Emmeline, will you marry me?” The words came out quickly.

“No.”

“What?”

“Yes, of course, yes! But are you sure?”

“After what you did, putting aside your own feelings to try and make things better, if I ever had any doubts, they are gone. Forever gone. You and I will be together for the rest of our lives, and if my mother can’t handle that, then she’ll just have to live the rest of her life without us.”

She kissed him. There was no more talking. How could there be? Joy spread through her whole body and she couldn’t remember ever feeling so happy.

Chapter Fourteen

Christmas came and went, and Emmeline hadn’t told anyone about the engagement. It was something so close to her heart that she wasn’t quite ready to tell the world yet. She wanted to savor the feeling, linger in the joy before hearing from those around her that they were too young to get married, or they were making yet another mistake.

Nicholas didn’t care who knew; he was bursting at the seams to share the news, but respected her wishes and didn’t say anything. Emmeline promised as soon as the Christmas craziness was over they would start telling the world. If she was being honest, she couldn’t wait to start planning their wedding, but she loved this magical quiet time where they could just be happy. By the time New Year’s Day came around, she was more than ready to announce their engagement, and Ginny was first on her list.

“Really?” Ginny screamed into the phone the moment the news had left Emmeline’s lips. “I’m so happy for you guys! You guys really are the perfect couple!”

“Thank you,” Emmeline squealed, glancing down at the little diamond on her left finger. It had been a pain to have to take it off over the holidays. Any hint of a ring and everyone would be suspicious. They had spent most of Christmas day at her parents’ house, and it was hard to keep the news to herself, but she was determined not to have Millie’s first Christmas overshadowed by what was sure to be their immediate disapproval.

“We need to do something to celebrate,” said Ginny. Emmeline could hear the happiness rising in her voice. That meant a plan. Probably one that she couldn’t say no to.

“What do you want to do?” she asked cautiously.

Ginny was quiet for half a second, and then said, “Don’t worry about it. I have it covered. Just meet me at my house at noon, and dress for outside.”

“What’s going on?” asked Nicholas as Emmeline hung up the phone.

“I don’t know, but she was really happy when I told her about the engagement. We’re supposed to be at her house for lunch time.”

“Of course she would be.” He threaded his arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck. She could feel his morning excitement pressing into her back, and her body shivered in response.

“She wants us to dress for outside, whatever it is. Isn’t it supposed to be super cold today?” Emmeline’s forehead creased and she looked at Millie. Her daughter rocked back and forth on all fours. She was threatening to crawl any day now.

“Millie will be fine.”

“I suppose,” she said, unconvinced, and then started going through Millie’s clothes, trying to find her warmest sweaters. By the time they were ready to leave, Millie had three layers on under her snowsuit and her face was pink from screaming at the top of her lungs.

“There is no way we’re going to be able to do up her car seat with all these clothes on her,” Nicholas said, comparing the seat and his daughter, who seemed to have quadrupled in size in the past few minutes.

“We’ll just have to make it work,” Emmeline said, loosening the straps on the car seat to wedge Millie into it.

A few minutes later they were pulling up to Ginny’s house. She stood outside waiting for them in her black parka and a long red scarf.

“There you are! We’re just waiting for Callum. You have told him, right?”

“We’re going to the next time we see him,” Emmeline answered.

“He should be here any minute; I figured you guys wouldn’t mind. Follow me.” Her eyes danced as snowflakes softly fell through the trees, adding an extra inch to the ground covering what was already there.

Nicholas leaned over and commented, “She seems far too happy—maybe the snow has frozen her brain!”

Emmeline elbowed him in the gut.

They followed her behind the house, where Ginny had set up a small picnic in a wooded area where the trees formed a semi-circle. It looked like she had everything planned down to the final perfect detail. How she did that was beyond Emmeline. Ginny’s brain seemed to work on an entirely different level.

It was adorable, with logs propped up make miniature tables and a plaid blanket lying on the snow. A small portable barbecue sizzled away.

“What is this?” asked Emmeline.

“This is your engagement party! I know you haven’t exactly told a lot of people, but we can still celebrate with just us, right?” She shrugged her shoulders.

“You did all this for us?” Nicholas asked, obviously really touched. It was nice to have friends like this. Ones who were there through the bad times and were the first to celebrate the good. Emmeline put Millie down on the plaid quilt to let her play. She was almost seven months old now, and showed signs of being tall like her father. Emmeline regularly searched her face to see traces of herself, but other than the mole, Millie was all Nicholas.

“Of course, I did!”

“What’s going on?” Callum asked, his boots crunching through the snow as he approached.

“We’re having a picnic!” Ginny beamed.

“Ginny, it’s fifteen degrees below freezing!”

“I don’t understand what your point is?”

“You have picnics in the summer, not in the winter.”

“Says who?”

“Says all the sane people in the world.”

“Since when are you going to let those stupid people tell you what to do?”

Callum groaned, clearly knowing that he wasn’t going to win. “So, we are really doing this?” He looked at Nicholas, who nodded his head.

“Hush up, Callum,” said Ginny. “You haven’t heard why we’re doing this yet!”

“What’s going on?”

In response to Callum’s question, Emmeline instinctively pulled her mitt off and showed her ring. There was something in Callum’s eye. For a brief moment he looked like he had been hit in the gut, and then he smiled wide. “Really, guys? Nicky, you gonna make an honest woman out of her?”

Nicholas smiled. “In a heartbeat.”

“I don’t blame you in the slightest.”

“Food, everyone, food! Get it while it’s hot,” Ginny said as she opened the lid for the portable BBQ. Emmeline pulled out a few buns and put them on the paper plates that Ginny had brought.

Everyone helped themselves, hoping that the warm food would help to improve their internal temperature.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Ginny,” Callum said after taking a hard, tooth-jarring bite out of the end of his hot dog. “This is already frozen!”

“You should have eaten it faster,” teased Ginny. “Ah, guys, I’m sorry. I wanted to have a little celebration at least. This is a big deal; my best friends are getting married.”

“Aw, Ginny, thank you, but please tell me we don’t actually have to eat these ice cube hot dogs,” Nicholas said.

“Yes, you do! I spent all morning working on this, the least you can do is to try it.”

Emmeline smiled and tried hers. The bun was crusty from the cold, and the half-frozen meat, charred on the outside, was anything but appetizing. The grimace she made was unmistakable.

“Really, that bad?” asked Ginny.

“Sorry.”

“You should see some of the things that Emmeline cooks up these days. It’s amazing. I think I might be gaining a few pounds,” Nicholas said, contentedly patting his belly.

Emmeline slightly blushed. “I think I might like to go to school one day to learn to be a pastry chef, actually. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. I’m almost finished with my high school courses, and I need to make some sort of plan as to what I’ll do next.”

“That’s great. I had no idea you were serious about it,” Callum said, putting his frozen hot dog down. “Actually, while we’re making announcements, I think that I might have one. I’ve decided to go into carpentry. My parents aren’t exactly thrilled, but I’m sure.”

“That’s no surprise,” Emmeline said. “Aren’t you renowned for being good with your hands?”

“You better believe it, baby!” His eyebrows danced, insinuating something completely off topic.

“Are your parents still thinking about selling the antique shop?” asked Ginny.

“Yes, they threaten to every day. They want to retire and move somewhere warm. I think I might have them convinced to wait until I’m done with school, and they can sell it to me. Then I’d have a place to run my own business out of.”

“Would you keep the antiques?” Nicholas asked.

“Why not? I’ve been working there my whole life. It would be weird not to have them there. I could refinish a lot of old furniture that way too. So, that’s me and Emmeline. We all know Ginny is going to be a lawyer. What about you, Nicky? What do you want to do when you graduate?”

“I don’t want to say. I think you might laugh.”

“Just tell them,” Emmeline encouraged him. “I think it’s great.”

“I think I might like to go into politics.” Nicholas sounded a little sheepish.

“I’d vote for you,” said Callum, giving a thumbs-up. “Besides, you practically have this entire town wrapped around your little finger.”

“Ha!”

“Let’s face it, between your dad owning half of the town and your mom serving on every committee out there, if you ran for mayor today everyone would vote you in without a second thought.”

“Wouldn’t that be nice? But I don’t think I’ll be running for a while yet. I’ve just started looking at universities.”

Millie started to squawk, so Emmeline reached down and picked her up. As she did, Millie grabbed a mittful of snow from the side of the blanket and went to put it in her mouth.

“No, sweetie. You’re supposed to throw the snow, not eat it. Watch.” Emmeline took the few snowflakes out of her hand and threw them at Nicholas.

“So you want to start that, do you?” He picked up a handful of snow and threw it at Emmeline just as Callum threw another handful right in her face. She screamed.

“That’s it! You better watch out! It’s on!” Emmeline put Millie back down and grabbed two handfuls of snow, throwing them back at Callum.

The next few minutes were all out war, Emmeline receiving the brunt of it. She had started it, after all. Afterwards, they drank mugs of cold hot chocolate while telling Millie stories of the stupid things they did when they were younger. With their future looming so close ahead of them, it felt good to look back.

Chapter Fifteen

Nicholas

It seemed like minutes since their engagement party in the snow, and yet almost six weeks had slipped through his fingers. These days practically every minute of his day was accounted for. That might be the reason why his head hurt. He had taken three Tylenol already, and yet it was only getting worse.

I must be tired, he thought. This is stupid. It’s not like I haven’t done double shifts before.

He checked his watch. Only forty-five minutes left to go and then he could crawl into bed with Emmeline. It couldn’t happen fast enough. He loved sleeping next to her, hearing her breathe softly. Hopefully Millie would be sleeping. She had been sleeping longer and longer at night. It was definitely something to be grateful for.

He had got up early that morning to do a shift at the ticket wicket from four to eight, then went and put in a full day at school, and now he was back at work, trying to keep from falling asleep. This wasn’t unusual; he had done it a hundred times before. It was just today, today he was tired. Keeping up with everything was hard: school, work, baby snuggles, a stolen moment here and there with Emmeline.

He never imagined it would be easy, it just didn’t occur to him that it would be this hard. Sometimes doing it all was too overwhelming, but when he looked into that squirmy little girl’s eyes, it was all worth it. Millie was magic that way. She was strong-willed, determined, and it always surprised him at how quickly she picked things up.

He was grateful to his friends, especially Callum and Ginny. They had been an incredible source of support, making sure he never fell behind in school, taking notes for him if he was away, and doing the lion’s share of work in group projects.

Why can’t I get rid of this headache?

He promised everyone he wouldn’t leave school. He knew he wouldn’t have any future if he didn’t finish high school. Then he needed to somehow get to college. He just wasn’t sure how he was going to make that happen. His parents were still paying for him to finish high school. Maybe they would help out with college too. They could just as easily have decided to let him finish out his high schooling at the public school. But that being said, he would still rather do it on his own than listen to them talk about Emmeline and Millie.

After Emmeline had tried to fix things, he called again, and actually spoke to his mother, but she spent the entire conversation pressuring him to give up custody of Millie so that he and Emmeline could focus on their studies. He hadn’t even bothered telling his parents about the engagement. However, he found it hard to believe that no one would have mentioned it to them through the small-town grapevine.

If they weren’t going to let the custody issue go, then there was nothing he could do to fix their relationship. Millie and Emmeline were his family now. He and Emmeline might have made a mistake by getting pregnant, but he loved that baby. She brought meaning to his life like nothing else had ever done. The way she smiled when he picked her up was something incredible. She was Daddy’s girl, Emmeline even said so. She looked like him. His sandy brown hair, instead of Emmeline’s dark. She had a wide, open face, just like him too. And his dimples. Maybe that was it, when she smiled. Her dimples. The hours were worth it for those dimples.

His hands frantically rubbed the side of his head, trying to relieve some of the pressure.

After school, he had popped back for a minute to the house, the boxcar. Emmeline was nursing Millie while she read Hamlet for an English assignment. Nicholas felt a little guilty that he was still going to school as if nothing had ever happened and Emmeline had to change to home schooling. She didn’t want to be away from Millie, and daycare wasn’t an option. Housing was barely an option. He had looked at the damn boxcar with disgust.

He went back and forth regularly between resenting the rusted, graffiti-painted thing to grateful that they could stay there. The trains were noisy, they woke Millie up, and there were always people around. Time was running out. It wouldn’t be long before they needed to find someplace else to stay. The thought weighed heavily on his mind. Maybe they would put off the restorations for a little longer. He could hope. The one bonus was it was so close to the train station, meaning that his four a.m. start time at work was not as miserable as it could be. He could roll out of bed, throw on his uniform, and be at work in fifteen minutes.

He yawned. It was 10:42 p.m., almost time to go home; he was counting the minutes. The headache that had started small in his temple around lunch was spreading. His whole head felt like it was exploding. He wanted to close his eyes. That would help. He checked the clock again. Seventeen minutes left.

“Owww!” He held his head. The pain was getting worse by the minute. He felt dizzy. He sat down and put his head between his knees. He wasn’t sure he could handle it anymore. It was stabbing, blinding.

He fell. Everything went white.

Chapter Sixteen

Emmeline

Nicholas was late, too late.

Where was he? Emmeline wondered, feeling her heart quicken.

She wanted to make the quick walk over to the train station, but Millie was asleep. Besides, she was probably being foolish—wasn’t she? There was the golden rule: don’t wake a sleeping baby, especially not Millie. She was all about routine, and casually waking her up to go for a walk late at night was definitely not part of the routine.

Emmeline put on another pot of coffee. Not like she needed more coffee. She seemed to live on it these days.

There was a knock on the door, and Emmeline’s heart jumped. There shouldn’t be anyone coming over this late.

Where is Nicholas? Nicholas doesn’t knock.

The sound echoed again through the train.

She hesitated before she opened the door.

On the other side was Patrick, the man who was supposed to take over from Nicholas for the midnight shift at the train station. His eyes were red and frantic. He sniffed, and then brushed some snow off his hair. Behind him, Emmeline could see the police car lights flashing red and blue, lighting up the dark sky.

Dread ate at her gut. It wasn’t too late to shut the door. She took a deep breath and possibilities started flying through her mind before he could even speak. Patrick was here to tell her that Nicholas was sick, or Nicholas was needed at work and he would be late. Patrick was here because someone got sick on the train, and Nicholas, being who he was, was helping. Someone on the train had acted up, and they had to kick them off; the police were there to arrest them. She settled on that one. Port Hope had such a low crime rate that it was weird to see the lights flashing for anything other than a speeding ticket.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, not actually wanting to know the answer. She twirled her hands into fists and thrust her shoulders back. Inside she knew what she was bracing herself for. She could feel it.

“I think you need to sit down,” Patrick said, his eyes filling up with pity.

“What’s going—police—where?” She took a breath and then tried again. Her words came out staccato and deliberate. “What I need is for you to tell me what is going on.”

“I—I don’t know,” he stammered. “I—I just found him.”

“Found who?”

“It’s Nicholas. I found him on the floor. I was late for work. He was just lying there. I’m so sorry.”

She could feel the blood drained from her face. Deep inside she could feel it; it was true. Maybe there was still hope. She shifted her weight from one leg to another.

“Where is the ambulance?”

“It’s coming, but Emmeline…”

“Don’t even say it.” Her lips were trembling.

He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. She smacked it away.

“I don’t think there is anything they can do.”

“No,” she said.

“I’m so sorry.”

“No,” she said again. “I need to go to him. He needs me. Stay with Millie? She’s asleep. I need to go to him. Nicholas will be okay.” She sounded frantic.

“Go. Millie and I will be fine, but brace yourself. Emmeline, he is gone.”

Emmeline fled outside in her slippered feet and her pink Gap hoodie. The February air was freezing, and it blew straight through her as if this cold world was telling her she was no one. She ran into the train station. Her slippers became caked in snow, and the cold air burned her lungs. She slipped on the wet marble floor. Angrily she kicked her slippers off. Then she ran to where Nicholas should be sitting happily selling tickets. Instead, she saw two uniformed officers standing behind the ticket counter.

One looked up and put his hand out to stop her from approaching any closer.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he said.

“Nicholas!” She clapped her hands to her mouth, and the officer’s eyes softened.

“Do you know him?” he asked, stepping forward.

“What happened? He’s not really…” She didn’t finish the sentence. She knew the answer.

Oh God.

“What happened?” she asked again.

“We’re not officially sure yet,” he said, coming around the counter. “We’ve only been here a few minutes. The ambulance is on its way. But you should prepare yourself.”

“Can I see him?”

“Only if you’re sure.”

She walked forward. She had to know. She walked through the door of the ticket office. There he was, his body lying so still. His brown hair fell softly over his face. There could be no doubt, he was gone.

Emmeline felt like she would suffocate. What had happened? By just looking at him, there was no way to tell. His face was pale but perfect on the marble floor. His mouth was open, but his eyes were closed, as if he were sleeping. She couldn’t bring herself to come any closer.

The police were asking her questions. None of them made any sense. She couldn’t talk. Millie, oh Millie, she thought as tears burned down her cheek, quickly soaking her shirt.

They pestered her with more questions. What happened earlier in the day? Where did they live? Had he been feeling okay? Emmeline wasn’t sure if she answered them or not. She just stared at him, her arms wrapped tightly around her body, her knees threatening to give out.

An ambulance showed up. People rushed around her. More questions. She tried to answer. She walked outside in her bare feet to get some air. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t think. She stood there in the snow, wondering why she couldn’t breathe. Someone came up behind her and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders. Then they walked her back inside and sat her down.

“Can I call anyone for you?” the station manager asked. More people were showing up, and there was movement everywhere. Emmeline could hear Dorothy’s voice screaming.

“Where is Millie?” the manager asked, his voice calm and even.

“She’s—she is with Patrick. He came over and said, Nicholas was…”

“I know, sweetie. You don’t worry ’bout a thing. I have this covered. Let me take you home,” he offered.

Emmeline nodded.

“Where are your shoes?”

“I don’t know.” She gazed down at her bare feet, still angrily red from the freezing snow.

He picked her up in his arms and carried her through the snow to the train. Fifteen minutes later her mother arrived at the boxcar.

The rest of the night was a blur of lights and tears. And Millie—telling a baby who can’t even understand how to talk that she now had no father.

Chapter Seventeen

The funeral was held off for a week. The officials needed time to do an autopsy. The police’s assumption all along was that Nicholas had suffered some sort of natural, catastrophic internal event, but the moment she saw the lifeless body of her son, Dorothy started screaming murder to anyone who would listen. Her words didn’t take long to get back to Emmeline, leaving her numb but not surprised after everything that had happened.

The result was final: brain aneurysm. But Dorothy never believed it. Even her husband couldn’t convince her, or prevent her from lashing out viciously at the police station where they announced the result of the autopsy. She was determined that even if Emmeline didn’t take a gun and shoot him, she might as well have after all the stress she put him under. She worked him too hard. She ruined his life, destroyed his dreams. Emmeline killed him, her baby boy.

Emmeline tried to block Dorothy out the best she could, but the words echoed in her brain over and over again. She knew Dorothy’s grief had completely unbalanced her, and yet Emmeline blamed herself too. Maybe she had pushed him too far?

Emmeline dreaded going to the funeral, but there was no way she could avoid it, or should have to. Besides, even though Millie was so young, she should be there. They made it until after the service at the funeral home before the cruelty began again.

“You killed him. Admit it,” Dorothy hissed, yanking out a few more strands of hair. The coldness in her voice was unmissable as she stood in front of her son’s coffin, where Emmeline had placed loose Gerbera daisies on top of the closed half. They seemed out of place next to the elaborate professional bouquets of roses that stood all around it.

Emmeline couldn’t even respond. She went running out of the funeral parlour, clutching Millie in her arms, with Ginny screaming in the background to defend her. Callum chased after Emmeline, while her parents were left standing horrified, frozen in place amongst the deafening quiet of the rest of the funeral attendees.

Callum found Emmeline at the bottom of the church steps, retching and clutching her daughter. He took Millie into his arms as the little one sucked loudly on her fingers. Millie’s black satin gown was wrinkled and covered in drool. As Callum sat on the church steps, he settled Millie on his lap and she immediately tried to stick her fingers into his mouth. He pushed her hands away and put his arm around Emmeline. She cried into his shoulder.

“I wish I could bring him back,” Callum said, his voice catching.

“I know, me too. I can hardly believe this is real.”

“I know I can’t replace him, but I’ll do what I can. I promise I will always be there to help you two.” Somehow, the words he said touched somewhere deep into her soul, and she knew that he meant it. Emmeline had never heard Callum be as serious as he was at moment. She felt safe.

“Whatever you need, I’ll be there. You won’t even have to ask,” he promised.

“Thank you,” Emmeline said. “It means more to me than you’ll ever know.” Her words paled compared to what she was feeling in that moment. She felt for just a second like perhaps there would be life after this, that there was some hope out there. Most importantly, she felt as though she wouldn’t have to do this all alone.

Ginny stormed out of the funeral parlour, and the four of them went back to the train. Emmeline put Millie down for a nap, and they spent the rest of the night talking. It was good to have friends. She didn’t feel so alone, so helpless.

It was like just as soon as she figured her life out, the rug was pulled out from underneath her. Now she had so much to think about. She needed a job and to arrange day care. She needed to leave the train; without him she knew she couldn’t stay. That wasn’t the arrangement. Besides, it was coming to the end of their allowed time there anyway. A sickening feeling overcame her—she might have to go back to her parents’ house. Her life was like puzzle pieces scattered, and she had no idea how to make sense of them.

Emmeline was not much more than a zombie for the next week. She did what she had to do purely through instinct instead of thinking, unable to cope with everything that had fallen on her shoulders. Millie, sensing something was off, cried straight through the night, and most of the day. It was hard to think. The only thing that kept running through her mind was, I have to get out of here. She was suffocating in the train. Nicholas was everywhere, his clothes, his shoes, his books, his scent, and yet she was terrified to leave it in case she ran into Dorothy. Her phone was ringing off the hook with people telling her that they supported her and that they thought Dorothy was out of line. It helped, and yet she still didn’t feel safe.

Stuck in the train, she mindlessly baked. It helped, although she could hardly eat anything, letting the cookies and loaves pile up. She simply felt better with warm things in the oven. It kept her mind off her worries, at least for a few minutes.

Things changed when she got the life insurance cheque from Nicholas’s work. She had forgotten it was part of his benefit package. When they filled out the paperwork, she had figured that it was a nice bonus, but not something that they’d ever use. It wasn’t a lot in the grand scheme of things, ten grand, and yet it would be enough to start a new life with. When it came, she stared at the cheque for hours, wondering what to do. It was blood money. She hated it, and was relieved at the same time. It was his last chance to help them. She decided to use it to get away from Port Hope, where the memories tormented her.

It was the first thing that made sense since he died. Once the idea took hold, she couldn’t stop herself even if she tried. She couldn’t take it, not one more day. She called Callum to come over and take Nicholas’s car back to his mother’s house, and then Ginny to tell her what she was doing. Within ten minutes Ginny was there, protesting.

“Do really think this is a good idea?” she asked, taking things out of suitcases just as Emmeline was shoving them in.

“I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore, except that I can’t live here without him. I need to leave.” She picked up one of Nicholas’s shirts and smelled it, then hugged it close, swallowing the overwhelming urge to fall apart again.

“You need a plan; you can’t just leave here without a plan. Where will you go? You can’t just up and leave with Millie when you have no idea where you are going.”

“I’ll figure it out,” Emmeline answered stubbornly, pulling out a plastic garbage bag and starting to shove more stuff into it.

“Don’t be so stupid! Give me an hour,” Ginny said as Callum opened the door.

“Emmeline! What’s going on?” he asked.

Ginny left, and Emmeline gave Callum the keys to Nicholas’s car and told him to return it to his parents. She didn’t want to be accused of stealing his car too!

The next hour was a flurry of activity: packing, figuring out what she could to take, tossing out the rest, and taking care of Millie’s needs too. Ginny came back, flushed. “You need to stop.”

“No, I told you, I can’t stay here.”

“No, stop what you’re doing and sit down. I think I have a solution for you. I have an aunt who lives just outside Oakville. She’s old, she has this grand old house, and she needs help. Seriously. Please! Right now, my parents are making the long drive there every weekend. She has cancer, and insists that everything is fine, and yet she doesn’t even have anyone to take her to her doctor’s appointments. You can go there, Millie can even have her own room, and my parents can regain their sanity. See, done.”

Emmeline stared at her in disbelief. It didn’t sound half bad. Ginny to the rescue again—how would she ever repay her for everything she had done over the past year?

“Ginny, you’re amazing! That sounds just about perfect. I can’t believe you arranged all that. Are you sure your aunt is okay with this?”

Ginny nodded. “Trust me, this will be a big help for her, and for my parents.”

The idea suited Emmeline as it rolled around in her mind. She might not have gone if the offer was just out of pity, but if she was needed, then perhaps it would be okay.

It really dawned on Emmeline for the first time: she was leaving.

“I’m going to miss you so much!”

That was it. She had a plan, a place to go where they could start a fresh. Ginny handed her a piece of paper with the address and phone number on it.

Callum opened the door, and they heard the whistle of the five o’clock train speed by.

“I’m not going to miss that,” said Emmeline, feeling more resolved in her decision.

Callum returned the keys to her, and Emmeline frowned, confused.

“They didn’t want it,” he explained. “Dorothy was sleeping, and Nicky’s dad just signed the ownership and handed it back. He said it was the least he could do. I gotta tell you, I think he feels pretty bad about the whole situation.”

Fresh tears popped out, and Emmeline quickly wiped them away. She had done enough crying. She graciously accepted the keys back—at least it was something. Besides, she needed the car. It would make her life a lot easier. She looked around the place she had called home and realized she was nearly packed. They didn’t have much to pack anyway, and she decided that it would be best to leave in the morning. Fresh start, fresh life.

“Well, what do you think, kid? Do you think you will like Oakville?” Emmeline said to Millie. She was happily eating Cheerios in her high chair, taking two or three attempts to pick up just one, then going back for the next.

“Come back, promise me,” Ginny said wistfully.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to come back. There’s so much here—Nicholas, his family. I don’t know if I can deal with them again. But you come all the time, please! I am not leaving you guys.”

Ginny and Callum nodded. She was pretty sure that there was no way she could keep them visiting.

“You know, no one agrees with Dorothy,” Callum said.

“I know. So many people have called to tell me that. I am beyond grateful. It’s just too much right now.”

“Don’t forget it, though. People are really impressed with how you’ve handled the whole situation. You finished high school before any of the rest of us!”

Emmeline blushed a little. She had worked straight through her assignments, and managed to finish the last one a few days after Nicholas had died. She wouldn’t get the fancy graduation, or even get to graduate from the private school that she loved with her friends. She did, however, finish, and that made her ready to face the next step. Perhaps Oakville was the answer. She could get a job, take care of Ginny’s aunt, have a nice place for her to raise Millie. Get on her feet. It was as good a situation as she could imagine, and she thought it was much better than she deserved.

“I hate to ask, but I can’t deal with more fighting right now—can you tell everyone for me?”

“They’ll try to stop you, won’t they?” asked Ginny, who clearly meant it more as a rhetorical question.

“My parents have been bugging me to move back home since the moment I left. But I can’t. They take over, make me second guess myself. Millie needs me to be strong. If they don’t find out until I’m already there, they can’t argue as much. I’ll call them as soon as I’m settled.”

Ginny nodded.

Callum filled the car and put the rest of the stuff she didn’t want in his truck. He had volunteered to drive behind them with the trailer his parents used to haul things to their antique shop downtown, but Emmeline decided that she would just take what she and Millie needed. She didn’t want to overwhelm Ginny’s aunt with too much stuff. He agreed, but made her promise that if she needed anything when she got there she would ask. His parents had tons of stuff tucked away for the shop that they wouldn’t mind donating to her. They felt Nicholas’s absence too and were willing to do almost anything for Emmeline at that moment. He was like a second kid to them. Really, the entire community felt it, and they had done their best to rally around Emmeline and Millie—dropping off food, donating money anonymously. It was touching to see everything they were trying to do for her, and part of Emmeline felt like she was betraying the town by leaving. She hoped they would understand.

The night flew by, and Callum and Ginny called it quits, saying they would come back in the morning to see her off. It was just as well. Emmeline was exhausted, but try as she may, she spent a fitful last night in their tiny bed, and was relieved when the sun started to glow pink over the horizon.

The air was frosty the next morning, and Emmeline was grateful they had done most of the work the night before. She looked at Millie, happily playing away in her high chair with no idea how much her life was going to change in a few hours. Emmeline was slightly jealous for a moment. The idea of understanding nothing of what had happened in the past few weeks seemed like a blissful gift. She was proud of her kid—she looked so much like Nicholas, she was a beautiful reminder of the good he left in the world. She was smart like him too, only eight months old and already starting to talk.

A moment later, there was a knock on the door, and she opened it to a crew of about thirty people standing outside the train museum—even her parents. Emmeline threw a “What-the-crap-did-you-do?” look Ginny’s way, who just grinned back.

“I get it,” Emmeline’s mom said, approaching her. “I don’t like it, but I get it.” She hugged Emmeline, in a stiff, everyone-is-watching kind of way.

Emmeline was touched that people came to see her off, and although she hoped for more from her mother, it didn’t surprise her. The hugs and well wishes from everyone else, however, and people who went out of their way to see them off, made her almost wish she was staying.

Ginny came up alongside her and said, “I know you wanted to sneak off, but I figured this was better.”

The crowd said their goodbyes and watched as Emmeline and Millie got into the car and drove off.

“Well, Millie,” Emmeline said as they settled themselves on the road. “Are you ready for this?”

“Da-dee!” said Millie.

Chapter Eighteen

Emmeline drove across the city, thankfully avoiding the bulk of the traffic that normally burdened the roads, following Ginny’s precise directions. She got off the highway and took some surface streets until she turned down the long drive to a farmhouse at the edge of an urban area that threatened to overtake this peaceful area at any moment. There she put the car in park after double checking the address. It would be her luck that she’d walk straight into a stranger’s house and move in!

She unbuckled Millie from her car seat and pulled her out, hearing the crow of the rooster perched on the garage roof. Emmeline wondered what she had gotten herself into. It seemed Ginny had left out a few crucial details. On quick glance, there was more than just a rooster living here, and Emmeline wasn’t sure how to deal with that. She didn’t even have a dog growing up, forget about barnyard animals. Millie babbled and reached for the bird, well beyond her reach, obviously happy with the situation.

Leaving their suitcases and boxes in the car, she made her way up to the house. It sat, looming, built from gray fieldstone and two stories high, with black shutters decorating the windows. A long, wide porch wrapped its way around the front, and a large oak door suddenly swung open.

“You’re here!” an elderly woman greeted them, dressed in jeans splatted with paint on them and a hot pink kerchief in her hair, rubbing her arms in defense against the cold.

Emmeline came closer and introduced herself, but was told to forgo the formalities; Pernella knew exactly who they were, and welcomed them home. She ushered them into the kitchen. Emmeline followed her, taking in what was to be their home, at least for the next little while.

Pernella put on the kettle, and then asked, “So, what do you think?”

“There are goats in the kitchen,” Emmeline blurted out, forgetting her manners. A group of fifteen goats, as well as she could count, were bleating and jumping around a fenced off area at the far end of the kitchen, blocking the back door. Pernella looked at her as if to say, Of course.

“Aren’t they adorable? I’ve been waiting for days for them to arrive!” she cooed, reaching down to pet one of the salt and pepper goats.

“But—but they’re in the kitchen,” Emmeline stammered again, overwhelmed by the feeling that she had made a huge mistake by coming here. She couldn’t raise her kid in a house full of goats. What else was going on in this house that she didn’t know about? She started to calculate how much money she had from Nicholas’s life insurance, plus the little that some of the people from town had given her just to help out, and how long that would last if she needed to immediately rent an apartment.

“It’s too cold for them outside. They’re only three days old. Poor darlings. I don’t want them to freeze to death! As soon as it warms up, they go outside,” Pernella insisted, picking one of the goats out of the pen and snuggling it in her arms. The goat bleated happily in response.

Millie squirmed to get away from Emmeline, reaching her arms out. She obviously wanted to touch one too. Emmeline was torn between running screaming away from this place, and running away quietly. She was reluctant to let Millie down, no matter how much she squirmed, despite how heavy she was getting and how hard it was to keep holding her when she wanted down. Millie was just starting to crawl around and pull herself up to standing.

The February temperature had plummeted, and it was well below freezing. Emmeline looked at the baying creatures and her kid fighting her to get closer to the animals. What have I got myself into? she wondered. Goats in the kitchen! What’s worse is the crazy lady makes sense! Emmeline wouldn’t have the heart to put these babies outside either in this weather.

“I’m Emmeline,” she finally said, feeling the need to back up and start afresh. “And this is Millie.”

“Adorable! Babies, I love them. So happy you’re here. Maybe it’ll get my family off my back!” Pernella chuckled, bringing the goat closer for Millie to pet. Millie squealed with delight.

“I’m sorry, am I’m missing something? I thought you needed someone to move in with you to help you recoup?” Looking around the room, she realized that this woman with healthy goats in the kitchen, a half-done painting on an easel in the corner, and the smell of fresh bread coming from the oven probably didn’t need any help.

“They want someone here to help me, because that pesky little cancer scared the living begeebees out of them.”

“You don’t need help?” Emmeline asked. She had no idea how to take this situation—goats, roosters, a lady who didn’t need them. Why was she here? Should she turn around and head back? Her heart sunk: there was no place for them anywhere.

“Stay! I can always use a hand with the animals. Besides, this ol’ house is way too big for me. The more the merrier, and besides, like I said, they are constantly worrying about me. It’ll be good for my family.” Pernella chuckled and shook her head.

Emmeline relaxed slightly, although she wondered what other creatures she might find in the house after she got past the kitchen. She officially made up her mind that if she saw a snake, she’d be out of there, but in the meantime, maybe she could stay for a little while until she got her feet under her.

Pernella showed Emmeline around and left them to get settled in their rooms. The second floor was almost never used, Pernella explained, since her knees had gotten bad. She slept in a room off of the living room that used to be an office. This meant Emmeline and Millie would have the entire upstairs to themselves. It consisted of two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a spacious sitting room, equalling out to more space than they had on the entire train. There were high baseboards and crown moulding and ceilings at least twelve feet high. Every room was painted a different bold color—sunny yellow, mint green, terra cotta—and each had its own special feel.

It was obvious that Pernella at one point spent a lot of time on her house, making it just right, and definitely in her own unique style. She had even hand painted a mural of trees and water with tiny mallard ducks going up the stairs. Millie’s room was a dazzling pink with the wainscoting painted out white. Tall windows let in the sunshine, and two twin sized beds with canopies dominated the room. Emmeline’s room was light green, with toile paper covering the wall behind a queen bed with ornate carvings on the tall headboard. There was more than enough room for the two of them upstairs, and Pernella insisted that if they needed anything to just ask. She seemed pleased someone would be enjoying the rooms.

Emmeline felt satisfied. This just might work after all. It was a bit dusty, and in the corners were cobwebs, signalling a lack of attention that didn’t seem to be an issue downstairs. It would take a few days to get things together, but it would work. Maybe, as long as she could get over the goats.

It didn’t take long to feel as though they had settled in and were as comfortable with Pernella as they had been anywhere else. As it turned out, this feisty lady of seventy-two was hard to keep up with, but Emmeline started to fall in love with her busy lifestyle. Pernella made her own soaps, tapped the four maple trees in the yard, ran after the animals, painted, made bread from scratch, and insisted that one day when she grew up she wanted to be an actress! Emmeline wondered what she was like before the cancer for her family to be so worried about her.

It only took a few weeks for Emmeline to see through the front that Pernella put up, and the reason why she needed help.

Pernella was still going through chemo treatments that would knock her socks off. Days on end, through the nausea and vomiting that the treatment induced, she struggled to get anything done. She didn’t complain, and refused to ask Emmeline for help, but a grateful look would cross her face as Emmeline ran to the pharmacy to get meds or picked up the groceries. Although Emmeline felt bad that Pernella had to go through this, it was a welcome distraction. She was busy, busier than she had ever been in her whole life, and it helped her forget the pain of losing Nicholas. By the time a few months had passed, and Pernella’s test results showed some serious improvement in her condition, Emmeline and Millie were happily settled into a routine.

Millie thrived. Emmeline healed. But the ache from not having Nicholas by her side, watching Millie take her first steps, or see that precious mouth fill up with teeth, was something she was sure she would never fully get over.

Emmeline got a job at a local bakery where Pernella sold her jams. She learned to make bread and donuts, and fell totally in love with cooking. Her job at the bakery was something that really spoke to her soul. She liked to get up early and set the dough to rise. She found therapy in pounding it down and watching it rise again, feeling somewhat akin to the dough.

Millie loved the animals, and by her first birthday, she would trail, tripping, behind Pernella, as she did chores. And Pernella learned to rely on Emmeline, regularly telling her that this must be what it would feel like to have kids.

Pernella had never married. She had had a mad affair in her late teens with a man who came from a very wealthy family. They snuck off together to be married after learning of his family’s disapproval. His family tracked them down as they walked up the steps of the church in Niagara Falls, and instead of standing up to his father, he bowed his head and dutifully followed him home, leaving Pernella alone to fend for herself in front of a church in her mother’s wedding dress hundreds of miles from home. At that moment she knew she would never marry, and she didn’t. She had a full life, went where she wanted, did what she wanted, and never looked back.

Millie celebrated her first birthday and her second in this house, with Grammy Pernella by her side, along with several more. When it came to her first day of school, both Emmeline and Pernella cried in the schoolyard while Millie rolled her eyes, telling them they couldn’t take her the next day unless they both promised to behave! Emmeline sniffed. How did she grow up so fast?

Emmeline’s parents came from time to time to visit, and play with Millie, whose intelligence startled them. Millie had a wide, round face and poker-straight dark hair, and still looked every bit of Nicholas’s little girl. The little mole that matched Emmeline’s was still their main similarity. Millie grew, going back and forth between tomboy and princess, regularly caring for the goats in her Cinderella gown that she constantly wore. At times Millie was bold as brass, calling her kindergarten teacher out for making a mistake. Emmeline had to come to the school more than once and fetch her little girl from the office.

“But Mommy, she was wrong. How can she be our teacher if she doesn’t even know the answers?” asked Millie, her wide, innocent eyes begging for a logical answer.

“Millie, your kindergarten teacher doesn’t like it when you do that, though. Couldn’t you just pull her aside and tell her nicely that you think she made a mistake instead of yelling it in the middle of class?”

“But then the class wouldn’t know the right answer!” Millie said, throwing her hands up into the air. Her teacher had been teaching the class a song about the colors of the rainbow that wasn’t entirely correct. “Mom, it’s violet, not purple, and they sang the colors out of order!”

Damn kid! thought Emmeline. Making sense! ”Okay, there is a right way and a wrong way to do things. Shouting ‘Don’t be so stupid,’ in class is the wrong way. Politely saying, ‘Perhaps you made a mistake,’ is the right way.”

These were the types of situations that Emmeline never expected as a parent; there were a million of them. She fumbled her way through, trying to teach Millie all the things she needed to know, and answer all the questions she wanted answers to. The situation with the teacher wasn’t the first of its kind, and unfortunately, Emmeline knew it wouldn’t be the last. It wasn’t that Millie meant to be rude; it was just that the world was a little bit more black and white for her than it was for everyone else.

That made having a routine very important. Very important for both of them, especially as Pernella was a little scatterbrained and regularly told time by feel instead of by what the clock said. For instance, if it felt like noon to her, it could actually be nine p.m., and she would be left wondering why the stores were closed, then annoyed when she had to acknowledge what the pesky clock actually said.

Not acknowledging things for what they were seemed to really work for Pernella in lots of ways, especially at the five-year mark from her last chemo treatment. She said she would beat cancer despite the doctors’ dire warnings, and she did. The doctors were now optimistic that it was gone for good. They threw a party on the day she got the news. Ginny came up from Port Hope along with her parents and Callum, and they all celebrated together.

It was Emmeline who made the cake, covered with white fondant and little daisies. At her time in the bakery, she had learned so much, and she began to dream that one day she could open up her own coffee shop and bakery. It was still just a dream, one she quickly dismissed and refused to actually admit out loud. She had a kid to worry about. That needed to be her entire focus. Still, a dream for herself—would it be all that wrong to consider?

Chapter Nineteen

Millie entering grade one took Emmeline almost by surprise. It felt like just seconds ago when she and Nicholas were happily moving into that train station. It seemed surreal to think about that time; another life. She thought about Millie having a baby at seventeen and then pondered the idea of permanently putting a lock on her bedroom door. Nicholas would approve of that.

Life was changing again—not that it had ever stayed still for more than a minute. In a blink, Millie didn’t need her as much, becoming capable of doing things on her own: she could brush her own hair, and insisted on picking out her own clothes. She had a wicked sense of style, mixing sparkles and busy patterns. At first Emmeline would fight with her about her clashing choices, but soon learned how strong-willed Millie was. She started to let her just wear whatever it was that she wanted, unless it was really important. Parenting that kid was usually an exercise in compromise, and, well, Emmeline asked herself, did it really matter if the sparkles on her shirt didn’t exactly match the sequins on her skirt, if it made her happy?

Besides, Emmeline wasn’t exactly a stranger to getting weird or disapproving looks from people. She couldn’t count the amount of times she had to explain that Millie was her kid, and she wasn’t babysitting, then see the other person’s eyes fall as they backtracked awkwardly. Her heart sunk at their disapproval. So she was young, but she had stood up to the challenge, and Millie was turning out to be a pretty awesome kid if she did say so herself.

It wasn’t just Millie who was growing and changing. Emmeline was too. She loved being in the kitchen, and daily she was getting more and more responsibilities at the bakery. She tried new recipes, and they went over so well that Kathy, her boss, changed the bakery’s recipes to hers. People came just for her cookies, and Emmeline was thrilled. Kathy saw the enthusiasm and set out to teach her everything she knew. Kathy was a French-trained chef with some serious skills. That was a while ago; now she was starting to lose her passion and was happy to let Emmeline take over as she spent more time in the front of the bakery, chatting with customers and munching on Emmeline’s creations.

Emmeline finally felt like she had some control over her life. She was on the verge of twenty-two, and she finally knew where she wanted her life to head. The idea of having her own bakery flitted through her mind regularly, challenging her own sense of what she thought she could do. If only she had the money. No matter how much she tried to put some aside, other more pressing things always seemed to come up, like the summer that Millie went through two whole sizes of clothes, or when her car needed new tires and brakes in the same month. It was just never enough.

Emmeline supposed that she could work longer hours, but the idea killed her. She wanted to spend as much time with Millie as she could. It was one reason why she didn’t date. Firstly, the idea seemed so foreign. Besides, what twenty-something guy would want to date her in between her running Millie to gymnastics and ballet class? It wasn’t like she even had time to date, or had any guy to make her question if she even wanted to. Pernella was slowing down, and it wasn’t easy to leave Millie with her for long. And she didn’t exactly have a lot of money left over at the end of the month to pay for babysitters, especially to go out with guys that weren’t going to stick around, or worse yet, would die. Millie provided hours of entertainment, hardly ever leaving her with a moment of peace.

Halfway through grade one, as Emmeline went to pick her daughter up from school, she found Millie bouncing, her eyes danced with excitement.

“Mommy!”

“Hi, Millie. Looks like you had a good day!”

“Mommy! Today we were working on an art project and it was really boring, and I said to Keesha that I wanted to put glitter on it, ’cause that would make it better, and she said that it would make it better. Glitter makes everything better, Mommy, and so we found the glitter and we put glitter on it and it was sooooo beautiful!” Millie took a breath.

“Wow, that sounds amazing.” Emmeline took Millie by the hand as they crossed the street to where she parked.

“Soooo, we decided that it would be sooo much better if all the projects that we work on need to have glitter, ’cause glitter makes things so much better, and then we will even do better in school that way.”

Emmeline laughed. Millie’s energy was infectious as she talked nonstop about her new best friend and how they were definitely going to get the bestest marks ever with their new glitter system. She went on with all the things they were going to glitter as Emmeline parked the car at the house. As they walked inside, they were greeted by a turkey strutting around the kitchen.

“Pernella!” Emmeline yelled, then groaned as she realized she would have to scrub the floor again tonight. “Why is there a turkey in the kitchen?”

Pernella came out wearing a fifties-style apron, jeans, and her hair tied up in a ponytail with a handkerchief around her head.

“I heard howling,” she said plainly.

“Awhoooo,” Millie said.

“I’m sorry, I’m still confused,” said Emmeline.

“There was howling outside, there could be a fox or something. I didn’t want anything to happen to poor ol’ juicy Christmas dinner here.” She pouted. “I didn’t raise her for a fox to get her first!”

Emmeline shook her head. It was hard to believe that this was her normal life. If she didn’t love Pernella so much, she would have run as far away as she could. The thing was, Pernella always let Emmeline be exactly who she was, something that she was never allowed to do at her parents’ house. The only thing she asked in return was that Emmeline let Pernella be herself too, and if that meant there was occasionally a turkey walking around in the kitchen, then it was just something she would have to live with. Even if there was a perfectly safe pen just outside, which the turkey would probably prefer to be in at that very moment.

“There was a message from the school, Emmeline,” Pernella said. “I think they want you to call them back.”

Emmeline looked at Millie, who shrugged her shoulders and pulled a banana off the counter, then handed it to her mom. Emmeline absentmindedly peeled it and handed it back on her way over to the phone.

The secretary at the school answered on the second ring and promptly explained how Millie had not only added an excessive amount of glitter on her project, but proceeded to paint her entire desk with glue and dump several bags of glitter, decorating the whole thing. The school’s custodian was having a serious problem cleaning it off, and he was threatening to call his union.

Emmeline giggled slightly—of course her kid would do that! She put on her stern Mommy face and shot her daughter a disappointed look. Millie was too busy to pay attention, focused on trying to feed the banana to the turkey, who was gobbling madly and still running around the kitchen. Emmeline apologized to the secretary for Millie’s behavior and hung up the phone.

“Millie, Angel Face, did you glitter your desk?”

Millie’s eyes lit up and she smiled. “Oh Mommy, you have to see it, it’s so pretty! It’s like a unicorn lives there.”

“Millie, there are some places that you are allowed to glitter, and some places that you aren’t. Your desk isn’t one of them.”

“But I needed to. It wasn’t very pretty. I work best with my unicorn desk.”

“I’m sorry, but they are washing it all off, and the school isn’t exactly happy about it.”

Her little lip trembled.

“I’m sorry, Angel Face.”

“That’s silly,” said Pernella. “She should be able to glitter anything she wants.”

“That’s not exactly what the school says,” Emmeline said dryly. Pernella obviously had a huge influence on Millie.

Little tears formed in the corners of Millie’s eyes, which she was desperately trying to hold back. She was stubborn, that one. And she didn’t like it when people saw her cry. Emmeline knew better than to acknowledge the tears that were fighting to stay in place.

“If this girl wants to glitter something, then she’s going to glitter something. Millie, how about the wall in the dining room? I’ve been thinking for years that it’s entirely too boring,” Pernella insisted.

Millie’s eyes lit up and Emmeline chuckled. She should have known that was where this was going.

Millie and Pernella disappeared into the other room, making plans, while Emmeline took the turkey outside and locked it up in the coop for the night.

She came back and spent the next hour cleaning the kitchen, something she didn’t love doing. She knew there were those people out there who actually loved to clean, she just wasn’t one of them. She thought that it would be so much better if she had been born with that gene.

She let Millie stay up an extra half hour working on the dining room wall. She was so proud of the rainbow sparkles, and she was wired from the excitement. Emmeline finally tucked her in, then went to her room and worked on a few recipes. Some days for fun she would imagine what her dream bakery would look like. She’d sketch out crude pictures and write menus, before ripping them up into shreds so no one would find them. If Pernella knew, she’d never hear the end of it. Pernella would push her every day until Emmeline made it happen, and she just wasn’t ready for that.

Chapter Twenty

Callum came up that weekend just to see the sparkling dining room wall. Millie had called him and refused to go to sleep until he told her when he could come. Not that he needed the bribery. He was a regular fixture in the house, always there just like he promised. Emmeline relied on him a little more than she cared to admit. Since the day that Nicholas had died, he had been the only real man in her life—even if he was of the friend variety.

Since Nicholas, Emmeline had been asked out on exactly seven dates. Only twice had she been tempted to go, and yet, two minutes back at her house, she was glad she stuck to her decision to say no. There would be plenty of time to date. Maybe when Millie was in high school, or college, or maybe after Millie was settled into a life of her own. If Emmeline was being honest with herself, she mostly felt like she had had her chance, and that part of her was done now, buried along with Nicholas. She wondered so often, why it was him who had to go? He was so young, with so much potential, whereas Emmeline always felt like she was scrambling to keep up with everything. With him gone, part of her felt like there were too many risks, too many complications, too much fear. Besides, she always told herself, if she wanted someone to flirt with her, there was always Callum. He was constantly at the house fixing this, helping with that. Besides, he was fun to flirt with, and easy on the eyes. He came up for Millie’s school recitals and made Emmeline feel better whenever she was feeling down. The best part was that he was safe. He didn’t mean anything serious by his flirtation—it was just Callum—but he was a level of support that she didn’t want to ever do without. She knew from that second at the funeral that he would be there, and he was, sometimes driving the two hours across the city just to take Millie out for ice cream. Millie loved him almost like a dad.

It was nice to have that contact with home through him. Emmeline didn’t go back very often, mostly to see her parents at holidays. Ginny had been at university in Ottawa, and came to Oakville when she could, but between the distance and the amount of homework and other projects she had going on, sometimes it was months and months between visits. Both Ginny and Emmeline looked forward to when she would be done with school. Maybe then they’d have a bit more time to hang out, but in the meantime, Emmeline was immensely proud of everything that Ginny was accomplishing and told her so regularly.

For the most part, Emmeline’s life consisted of going to work and playing with Millie, who was turning seven in a few weeks. Millie talked non-stop about her birthday, leading up to the day, and planned an elaborate night of midnight movies, popcorn, and cake with sprinkles with Pernella, Callum, and Emmeline. Emmeline had a sneaking suspicion that Millie was afraid of asking the kids in her class to come over for a party, for fear that they would say no. This past year had been a hard one, in which she hadn’t really bonded with the other kids as well as she had the previous year. Although Millie did really well in school, smart, always the first to finish her work, with an academic understanding of the world that was beyond her age, when it came to social skills, she sometimes floundered. She had friends she talked about from time to time, but nothing stuck for long.

It didn’t matter to Emmeline if Millie had a hundred friends or none, she just wanted her kid to be happy. Whatever the reason, an all-night movie night was right up Emmeline’s alley, and she was excited. It wasn’t uncommon for the two of them cuddle up on the couch, munching on popcorn and debating which movie had the best plot or theme music. It was their thing.

At the bakery, Emmeline was busy thinking about birthday snacks when she was stopped dead in her tracks, dropping the tray of turnovers she’d been holding. A man with steel blue eyes and a black leather jacket walked into the bakery. He was tall, with a smile that made her heart thump irregularly in her chest the moment she laid eyes on him.

Get it together, girl! she chastised herself. It wasn’t the first time she’d noticed a guy since Nicholas. It was, however, the first time the wind was knocked from her chest the moment she saw one. It was startling. She wanted to crawl into a hole. Something about the way he casually glanced at her seemed to awaken something inside of her.

She picked up the tray and dumped the now-dusty turnovers into the garbage, hoping he didn’t notice, grateful that Kathy was the one who had to deal with him at the cash register. But still, it was enough to send a barrage of not so innocent thoughts flooding through her mind. If she was being honest, a momentary thought of, Oh please notice me, flickered through her head, before being immediately dismissed.

She was relieved when he left.

A few days later he showed up for coffee, looking better than ever.

Dammit! Why did he have to come back?

Emmeline was covered in flour and, and her hair’s messy bun was beyond that cute stage and firmly settling into the seriously, brush your hair stage. She blushed. She wasn’t supposed to be working the counter, but Kathy had stepped out to pick her sick teen up from school, leaving Emmeline to manage the front of the bakery and make sure her cookies didn’t burn in the back.

As he walked up, she quickly tried to brush off some of the flour, trying not to make it look too obvious. Annoying butterflies jumped around in her stomach, distracting her as she took his order.

“Sorry, that was sugar or no sugar?” she asked again, resisting the urge to reach across the counter and touch his hand.

“Three sugar,” he said, and smiled, selecting a tart off of a lacy white pedestaled plate to add to his order.

“Got it,” she said and willed her cheeks not to turn any redder than she was sure they were. She made his coffee and put it on the counter and he handed her the money. Her hand shook slightly as she gave him the change.

Emmeline felt stupid. He was just like any other person coming in, wasn’t he? He wasn’t paying her any special attention—until he looked up at her, lingering on her eyes for a moment longer than most. For the first time in she didn’t know how long, she felt her insides turn to mush. She didn’t feel like a mom, or the baker who worked like a dog in someone else’s shop, or the woman who had too little sleep, but like a flash of who she used to be once upon a time.

He thanked her for the coffee and walked out the door, forgetting his tart. She ran out after him, grateful for the excuse.

“Hey, you, tart!” she yelled, messing up her words.

He turned around, confused, and then saw her. He grinned. “I’ve never been called a tart before.”

Emmeline’s cheeks burned uncontrollably.

“I only reserve that for the best clients,” she said, kicking herself as she handed him his tart.

“Thanks,” he said.

There was an awkward silence.

“Umm,” said Emmeline, biting her lip. “I should, probably—go back.” There was still a customer in the store.

“Thanks again,” he said, raising up his tart.

Emmeline turned and ran the few steps back into the bakery. Her heart was pounding. She opened the door and stepped inside, briefly checking to see if he would turn around.

Oh, but why would he? she thought. Look at me, covered in flour, hair’s a mess, he’s so cute and…oh my goodness, he turned around! Her heart soared. What was happening to her? Since when was she like this? But he was so cute, like, seriously hot. Tall, with broad shoulders, dressed like a freakin’ rockstar, and with a grin that made you feel like you were the best thing in the world.

In a daze, she walked behind the counter. This was stupid. He said three words to her, and she had turned herself inside out. She started to thump her head on the counter. The old man trying to decide between the rye and whole grain loaves looked at her like she was an alien.

He finally decided on the rye and brought it up to the counter.

“You know,” he said, “eventually that’s going to leave a mark.”

Emmeline stopped thumping. Man, she was so off in her world that she didn’t realize she was still whacking her head. What had he done to her just by walking into the bakery?

“Sorry, will that be all?” she asked.

“Yep,” he said, and pulled out some money to pay for the loaf.

He left the shop, and Emmeline ran to take the cookies out of the oven. She took a deep breath and began to haphazardly lift them off the hot pan and put them on the cooling rack.

The rest of the day was a write-off. Emmeline tormented herself, chastising herself for not spending more time thinking about the possibility of romance, and then yelling at herself for even thinking of the possibility. She was a mother, for goodness’ sake. She needed to focus on Millie. She had her chance, and he died. What was she supposed to do? Should she move on? Could she move on? Did she even have the right to find someone new? It was all so complicated.

Hopefully, he would never come back, and she could forget about this whole mess!

Chapter Twenty-One

Ginny was almost finished with her law degree; only a few more months left and she would be done. But instead of spending her reading week studying, she came down to spend it with Emmeline and Millie at her Aunt Pernella’s house. Millie was thrilled that Auntie Ginny was coming and especially loved the presents that Ginny brought her.

“Now, Ginny, seriously! You’re a starving student, you don’t have to bring her presents all the time,” Emmeline chastised.

“I know, but this way I can confirm that I am her favorite aunt.” Ginny’s eyes followed Millie as she ran around the house, trying to bat the little ball attached by a string to the paddle.

“You’re buying her love. You don’t have to do that,” Emmeline teased. Millie loved her no matter what; the hours she spent with her reading stories when she was around, or listening to her talk about random things over the phone, made Auntie Ginny in Millie’s eyes one of the best people she knew. Emmeline was lucky to have Ginny and Callum as a constant source of support over the years.

“It’s my pleasure. Besides, I just got everything from the Dollar Store. So, are you up for a major evening of gossip and maybe more than a few glasses of wine? We seriously have to catch up!” Ginny said.

“Yes! I’ve been waiting for weeks for this. I swear all I do these days is work.”

“Me too. This semester is horrible. The amount of homework is tantamount to cruel and unusual punishment!”

“I kind of envy you, at university, preparing yourself for greatness.” Emmeline winked. “Meeting guys, going to parties…”

“The hangovers, the walk of shame home the next morning.” Ginny laughed, rolling her eyes. “Who has time for that?”

“So, no one in particular?”

“Did you not hear me? All I ever do is go to class and do homework. This is the most fun I’ve had in weeks. How about you?”

Emmeline paused.

“Oooooh,” Ginny teased, sensing something pretty juicy was coming her way.

“No, not like that. It’s just I hadn’t really thought about it for years, you know? Then a couple of weeks ago this guy came into the bakery. Ginny, I turned into an idiot, and called him a tart! It’s like I was overcome by some disease that took over my body for the express purpose of making me look stupid.”

“Foot in mouth disease again?”

“Major sufferer right here!” she said, pointing at herself.

“So, did you ask him out?”

“No!” She rubbed her forehead. “I could hardly talk to him. I was just so shocked that he had this effect on me. I’m not exactly sure what it was about him that got to me. Maybe his smile, or his eyes…anyway, he was tall, and well, he comes in regularly now. I can hardly bring myself to look at him when he does.”

“Someone’s got a crush,” sang Ginny.

“Someone has a brush,” Millie sang back.

“There’s my girl,” Ginny said.

“Are you finished brushing your teeth?” Emmeline asked.

“Yesss,” Millie answered in an exaggerated way.

“Good girl, now off to bed.”

After a few minutes of protest and an extra story from Auntie Ginny, Millie was in bed for the night and they could spend time properly catching up.

“So, when are you going to see him next?” Ginny asked, curling up with a glass of wine on the sofa.

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Nope, too much fun. I haven’t heard you talk about a guy in years.”

“I don’t know if it’s good or not, but he comes in now all the time. I think he has a bit of a sweet tooth.”

“So what are you waiting for? A guy with a sweet tooth, and you the master baker. Sounds like you two are a match made in heaven,” Ginny teased.

“I am not waiting for anything. There’s nothing to wait for.”

“Blah, you are such a scaredy pants. Your life isn’t over. Look at you, you’re gorgeous, you have this curvy body that would make Marilyn Monroe jealous. Guys must be falling all over themselves to get to you.”

“No, not even one,” Emmeline said dryly.

“I have a feeling that you are just too blind to see it. Now give me more details about this sweet-toothed Sugar Boy.”

“Sugar Boy?”

“Well, do you even know his name yet?”

“No,” Emmeline answered shyly. “Do you think we can change the subject? How about you?” The phone on the coffee table rang, and she pounced on it, picking up the receiver in seconds.

“Hey,” Emmeline answered. She paused for a moment to listen, then responded, “Can I call you back later? Ginny’s here, and I just put Millie to bed. It’s time for a little girl talk. You can come on over and join us if you like.” She giggled. Ginny looked puzzled, unsure of who Emmeline was talking to. “Bye.”

“Who was that?” asked Ginny.

“It was Callum.”

“He still calls regularly, doesn’t he?” Ginny said thoughtfully.

“Yeah, every few days or so, just to check in. He was here on the weekend for a few hours.”

“Interesting…”

“Be quiet, you! Now, how did this get back to me? I thought we were going to be talking about you. You’re the one with everything going on.”

They spent the rest of the evening talking, laughing, and polishing off the bottle of wine before settling into an Indiana Jones marathon and a plate of fresh made cookies, Emmeline’s own recipe.

They fell asleep on the couch, and Emmeline wriggled uneasily as her subconscious tormented her with a dream.

Water poured down. She turned around, her shoes lost. She frantically started looking for them in the middle of an abandoned town. The water rose, flooding the streets; then everything turned green. She was sitting in a robot, operating it awkwardly. The world turned upside down and the robot handed her a piece of paper as big as she was. She stared at it as though it made sense.

Nicholas was there, and then, in a flash, he was gone. All of a sudden, she was in a tropical paradise with someone—a man, she couldn’t quite tell who. They were drinking coffee. She talked to him and then hot coffee poured all over both of them. They were about to kiss, and then everything turned white, and there was church music.

Emmeline woke up in a cold sweat. Sitting straight up on the couch, she caught her breath. As she stared out into the darkness, her mind flashed back to the different scenes, the church music playing in her ears. It was Nicholas’s face that lingered in her mind. That’s what he was now, just a dream. He was gone, but maybe this was him telling her it was time to move on. Time to rejoin that land of the living. Time to perhaps open herself up to love, just as Ginny kept telling her to; Pernella as well. Maybe she shouldn’t hide forever.

Chapter Twenty-Two

On Monday, Ginny left to go back to university and Emmeline went back to work. All morning she thought about what she’d say if she saw Sugar Boy. She spent a few extra minutes doing her hair just in case, and made sure that she dusted off the flour while she was working so she stayed somewhat decent. Of course, he didn’t show up that day at all, leaving Emmeline disappointed, but relieved.

When three or four days passed and he still hadn’t shown up, Emmeline started to worry that perhaps he wasn’t going to come back. That is, until he did walk in the door, catching her completely off guard. Her breath hitched as she tried, unsuccessfully, not to stare at him. His hair was cut short on the sides, but tousled on top. Adding to the perfection of his barely-there beard was a fine straight nose. He wore the same distressed black leather jacket as before, which appeared casual and yet fit his body well enough to accentuate the outline of his muscular shoulders. The added effect of a simple white tee underneath the jacket and a plaid shirt tied around his waist made him more like a vision—way better-looking than anyone she’d ever seen in real life, more like a page cut out of a magazine.

Those familiar butterflies started to tingle in her stomach, and her breath became slightly erratic. How was she supposed to ask him out when she could hardly stay standing? She wanted to hide, but Kathy suspiciously had to go to the bathroom, leaving Emmeline alone with Sugar Boy as he searched through the display case.

Okay, she told herself, baby steps. I will aim for not calling him a tart, and perhaps strike up a conversation.

He walked up to the counter and opened his mouth to speak, but Emmeline interrupted.

“Coffee, cream, three sugars, right?” she said, letting the words running into each other like a car crash.

He pressed his lips together to supress a small laugh.

Damn! she thought. Way to go Emmeline!

“What was that?” he asked.

Emmeline could feel her cheeks going red. Slow down!

“Sorry, too much coffee this morning!” she said as she pushed a few stray hairs behind her ear. “Would you like some coffee?” she tried again.

“Yeah, and do you have any of those chocolate chip cookies? They are so good! I seriously can’t get enough of them.” He paused. “They used to be terrible, what happened?”

“Really? Thank you so much!” She beamed. “I’ve been warking—working for ages on the recipe, and last month I-c-convinced-my-boss to let me change the old recipe for this one.”

“That’s your recipe? You’ve got talent. I don’t say that lightly either.”

“Thank you,” she managed to squeak out. Finally, she was doing something right. She poured his coffee and picked out a couple of cookies, putting them into a paper bag. “Two enough?”

“Maybe for today. I don’t know about tomorrow, though.”

Emmeline grinned. It was nice to hear someone appreciating something that she had worked so hard on. Do it, ask him out, do it, her mind chanted the words over and over.

“Umm, I’m Emmeline,” she said, holding her hand out, trying to force her body to relax. Arms, please don’t shake, please don’t shake.

“Joel.”

Tingles shot up her spine as his hand touched hers; without thinking she gently closed her fingers, holding on tighter than she should have. Realizing what she was doing, Emmeline panicked and abruptly put both arms behind her back. Did he feel the spark too?

“I, um, should perhaps—hot—I meant bread,” she stumbled. Shut up, shut up shut up!

Joel chuckled. “Go get your bread, I’d be devastated if it burnt. In fact, I’ll wait here until you take it out, and I’ll buy it. I’m off to a meeting with my manager. It might make it go a little smoother if I brought him some of your bread. Especially right out of the oven.”

“He can be bribed with food, I see.” They were having an actual conversation. It couldn’t go better than that, even if she sounded like an idiot.

“Usually.” He grinned. “I’m a food blogger. We all can be bribed with food.”

“I’ll have to keep that in mind.” Emmeline put her hand on her hip and thrust her chest out slightly in a sad attempt to flirt. Joel grinned.

“The bread?” he reminded her.

“Ahh!” Startled, she ran back into the kitchen, and found Kathy already pulling the hot tray out of the oven. The whole room smelled of yummy hot bread goodness.

“It looked like you were doing just fine out there by yourself, so I thought I’d take over back here.”

Emmeline rolled her eyes.

“I don’t blame you, he’s pretty cute. If I was a few years younger, I’d be all over him. Wait, do you think he’s into older women?” An evil grin spread across Kathy’s face, her imagination clearly running away with her.

“Don’t know, you want me to ask?”

“Nah, I’ll let you have a shot at him first,” Kathy said. All the same, Emmeline became nervous for Joel’s possible future if she didn’t get back out there quickly.

“He wants the bread,” she said, grabbing a paper bag and gently easing the loaf inside.

She checked in the mirror on her way out to the front. There wasn’t much she could do, even if she wanted to fix her hair again or something. She brought the bread out to Joel.

“For you. Careful, it’s super hot.”

He reached out and took the bread, pausing slightly to look at her, which made Emmeline extremely uncomfortable. She shifted her weight back and forth from one leg to the other. She ran through the words she just said, paranoid that she had said he was hot and not the bread. She was pretty sure she’d said bread, but not a hundred percent.

“Thanks,” he finally said, putting some money on the counter. “This will get me out of trouble with my boss. He always hates it when I’m late.”

“I take it you’re late a lot.”

“More than I should be. But I’d say being late today is worth is, especially since I didn’t get called a tart this time.”

Emmeline scrunched up her face, shooting him a look tinged with amusement and disgust. All right, he was a teaser. She could handle that.

“Enjoy,” she said, then boldly added, “and come back…I mean, anytime. I’ll make more of the cookies.”

“Deal,” he said, then looked at his shoes for a moment. “I should go.”

Emmeline smiled. She made a small wave and watched him leave, cursing the fact that he had that shirt tied around his waist.

“So,” said Kathy, coming up from behind Emmeline to resume her role in the front of the store as the door closed behind Joel. “Are you two in love yet?”

“Well, maybe not in love, but I know his name. Isn’t that step one?”

“Perhaps. I’m sure I knew the name of my first husband, although I seem to have forgotten it now,” Kathy said, grinning mischievously.

“Goof!” Emmeline said, returning to where she was the most comfortable—the kitchen where dreamy guys couldn’t disturb her.

Chapter Twenty-Three

It took a few more weeks of restless dreams before Emmeline actually got up the courage to ask Joel out. She had been holding out, hoping that he would take the initiative, but so far, he hadn’t, and the more she saw him, the more she wanted to spend further time with him. She just hoped he felt even a little of what she was feeling every time his face floated through her mind. It would be incredibly embarrassing if she was the only one who felt the spark between them.

There was something about him that she couldn’t stop thinking about. His voice, his smile—the one that made her feel like the most important person in the world.

She decided that the next time he came in, she was going to ask him out on a date, or resolve to forget about him entirely. She was done torturing herself with the possibility of “what if?”

When he finally did come in, she immediately regretted her decision, and tried to run and hide. Kathy was having none of it, telling her either to go and ask that man out, or she would do it for her. Emmeline knew she was defeated.

Joel rang the little bell on the counter four times before she timidly showed her face.

“Hey, Joel.” She tried to look natural, which meant she looked anything but.

“Where were you hiding?” He shoved his hand into his pocket and gave her a heart-melting grin.

“Oh, nothing, I, um, sorry. Coffee?” Emmeline stared at her shoes, avoiding eye contact, and she tried to figure if there was any courage in her jelly-like spine.

“Yes, please?” he said, sounding a little confused.

“Yes coffee, no tart.”

“Are you calling me a tart again?” He laughed weirdly. “What’s wrong?”

“Listen,” she started. This is not going as planned! “We do this all the time, we talk, we talk about coffee, how about we just go ahead and do it?”

His eyes widened.

“I mean, not it, it—oh crap! I meant…” She buried her head in her hands.

“Yes…” He was clearly enjoying her discomfort.

“A date!” she finally managed to blurted out.

“You want to go out on a date with me?” he asked. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I mean, I think so?” Emmeline was dying inside, she was so embarrassed. If only she could have a do-over.

“So, you think you want to go out with me?” He was flat out laughing.

“Put me out of my misery, please,” Emmeline begged, her cheeks burning.

“How about this?” he said, that cocky smile plastered permanently on his face.

“What?”

“Miss Emmeline, queen of the chocolate chip cookies, will you please go out on a date with me?”

“Yes!”

By this time, she was starting to laugh as well. Thank goodness someone knew what they were doing. She wanted to crawl into a hole, but at least she got a date. It wasn’t pretty, but a date was a date.

She gave him her number and crossed her fingers. He called later that day, and they ended up talking for an hour, much less awkwardly on Emmeline’s part especially. It helped that she wasn’t quite as nervous.

They decided to meet that Friday. Emmeline made sure that he knew that she had a kid, and that she would have to wait until Millie was asleep before she could go out. She didn’t want to explain to Millie where she was going and what she was doing. It was really important that if she did start dating again, Millie wouldn’t be exposed to any dud dates. Ideally, Millie would never know Emmeline was going out until she felt like this was a serious thing. She had seen too many kids getting attached to their parents’ new love interest and then having to be separated from them. It wasn’t fair and that just wasn’t going to happen. Emmeline might want a life beyond that of Mom, but Millie didn’t have to know about it. Besides, one date—it could be a disaster.

By the time Friday hit, Pernella was full-out pushy for Emmeline to leave.

“I can’t help but feel like you’re trying to kick me out of the house,” Emmeline said, eyeing Pernella suspiciously.

“Sweetie, that’s because I am. Only old people get cooped up in this house.”

“Listen, I’ve been fine on my own all this time. There is no rush to go out on this date.”

“Only if you call playing hide and seek with the world fine.”

Emmeline rolled her eyes. Over the years Pernella had constantly pointed out new guys that she thought would be potentially a perfect match for her, and she was much relieved that Emmeline had finally picked one out for herself. Pernella was so excited, she went through her own closet, pulled out a tight black skirt that would barely cover her bum and encouraged Emmeline to wear it.

“Seriously, I can’t wear this. It’s not even decent,” Emmeline said, holding the skirt up to her body. “And where did you even get that?”

“But sweetie, if you wear this he won’t be able to keep his hands off you,” Pernella said, ignoring the question.

“Then I’m definably not going to wear it! Listen, the last time I wasn’t careful I ended up seventeen and knocked up. I would like to take this slow.”

“Like a freakin’ turtle!” Pernella chastised her.

“Ha, ha, very funny,” Emmeline said dryly. “Listen, I don’t see you out there.”

“I don’t need to be out there. I have everything that I’ve ever wanted right here. My life was simply the kind that didn’t require a man. I’m that sort of person.”

“Maybe that’s my life too?”

“You want this, you want a family, and there is no way you can deny it. I know you shut down, but Emmeline, it’s been years. And you’re still what, twelve?”

“Ha, ha, I’m twenty-three. But frankly, I feel somewhere around forty.”

“Now that is something we need to correct, and perhaps that is something this Sugar Boy Joel can fix.”

“You’re putting a heck of a lot of pressure on one little date, and I’m already nervous.”

“There won’t be a date unless you go upstairs and get ready.”

“Crap, where does the time go?” She scrambled up the stairs, and threw on a pair of jeans rolled up at the cuff, a black layered tank with embellishments around the scoop neck that complemented her cleavage, and a jacket. She had been so nervous about what to wear that she had Googled it, but as it turned out there were so many ideas of the ideal date clothing that she gave up and decided to put on what she was comfortable in. Besides, it wasn’t like she could go out and buy something new. She was just happy she had something that wasn’t covered in glue or apple sauce. Total win.

She checked on Millie, who was fast asleep, curled up with her blae-blae, the blanket that she always slept with at night. Satisfied that Millie was okay, she threw on a pair of heels, the ones she bought ages ago just in case she went someplace that required something more dressed up than her purple Converse running shoes. She still hadn’t broken them in, and hoped she wouldn’t regret wearing them. They were cute. She looked around the room. Everything was just fine, and there was unfortunately nothing else she could do to stall. Her nerves were starting to play havoc on her stomach.

Deep down, she hoped that she would be enough just as she was. She always felt like that with Nicholas, and on her own she was fine, but now that she was starting to date again, all those insecurities seemed to rear their ugly heads. Mental note, she said to herself, don’t think about Nicholas. She didn’t have a lot of experience dating, but she was pretty sure there was a serious rule against talking about your dead boyfriend on a first date.

Blah!

The idea that she was betraying Nicholas arose in her mind. She tried to push it aside, knowing that she wasn’t doing anything wrong. She did one more look in the mirror and fluffed up her hair. This was it. Time to go.

“Bye, Pernella,” Emmeline said, going out the door.

“Wait, isn’t he going to pick you up?” Pernella called back.

“No!” she exclaimed. “I figured if this guy turns out to be a psychopath the last thing I need is to let him know where I live!”

She jumped into her car and headed in the direction of the restaurant. They had decided on a Chinese restaurant, and he had suggested one not that far from the bakery. He insisted it was the best in town, and was surprised that she hadn’t been there. Emmeline had explained that once she discovered how much she loved cooking, she didn’t often see the point of going out. Besides, it was an expense she couldn’t always afford. If she made it herself, then she could guarantee that it came out just the way she liked. It occurred to her that as she grew up she was becoming more of a control freak. Hopefully Joel wouldn’t mind that either. She repeated his name over and over, letting his name roll off her lips, trying to make it sound natural.

“Hello Joel,” she said, with a forced sultriness.

“Hello, Joel,” she tried again, trying to make it sound natural. She shook her head and wondered what kind of disastrous thing was going to come out of her mouth. It was sure to be epic, if past history was any example.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Emmeline could see Joel waiting for her outside the restaurant when she pulled into the parking lot. She checked the clock; she wasn’t late, he was early. Impressive, since he said that he was regularly late for his boss. This was a good sign.

She parked the car and walked around to meet him with butterflies in her stomach. Joel sat on the edge of a long granite planter that ran the length the restaurant. She was so nervous, she mostly wanted to run away. She tried to remember what she felt like when she first met Nicholas, but frankly, it hardly counted. They were in high school and they saw each other in the hall. This, she realized, was her first date!

“Crap!” she accidentally said out loud. She hadn’t thought about that before.

“Emmeline!” Joel said, with that grin on his face. Soft lights shone up from the planter, hit his face, and made it practically glow.

I am totally out of my league here! she thought.

Joel kissed her on the cheek as he greeted her, and as they were shown to their seats she managed to make polite talk without saying something stupid, which seemed like a miracle. Emmeline tried to take in her surroundings. She wanted to remember every moment of this night, in case this really was the start of something special. The restaurant was decorated in red, with paper lanterns that hung down with golden tassels. Lacquer work decorated the walls, which were painted a decidedly beige color. The chairs were black, padded with thick cushions, and the tablecloths were a soft amber.

The server handed them a menu each, and they took a few minutes to order. The food came quickly, and he was right, it was really good. It was a shame that she had never been there before. She had totally been missing out.

The evening went by fast, like eating ice cream on a hot day, leaving her wanting more. Emmeline felt like she was in a dream.

If this was what dating is like, sign me up!

When dinner was over, the waiter brought them the bill, which Joel quickly grabbed, leaving no time for Emmeline to even offer. Emmeline took the fortune cookies left behind with the bill and hid them behind her back.

“You have to pick one,” she said.

“Is this some sort of cookie tradition that I’m unaware of?”

“Nah, just what I do. Pick a hand.”

“The left one.”

She handed him the cookie in her left and then pulled the crinkly wrapper off her own. Cracking the cookie in two, she pulled the slip of paper out. She watched as Joel did the same.

“You ready?” she asked. “Read yours first.”

“Food can be sweet and sour, so can your mood,” he read. “So what do you think? Am I sweet or sour?”

Emmeline blushed and squeaked out, “Sweet.” Confidence up, girl, she chastised herself.

“What does yours say?”

“The love you seek is within your reach.” She paused briefly, and then added, “Apparently, the cookie thinks we’re having a good date.”

“That we are,” he answered. There was a brief silence, and then he said, “You know, the best thing about these cookies are the fortunes. They actually taste terrible.”

Emmeline crunched loudly. “Yeah, I know, I don’t know why I always eat them. I think it just doesn’t seem like the meal is complete without them.”

“When in Rome,” he said, and he shoved the dry cookie half into his mouth.

He paid the bill and then walked her to the car, slowly. Emmeline wanted to make the steps last as long as possible. She was on cloud nine. The butterflies in her stomach were gone, and she mostly felt like she was floating.

She really liked him. It wasn’t just that he was easy on the eyes—that was an understatement—but he was interesting. A food blogger for a travel company, he worked from home, and only went into the office from time to time. He had been everywhere. He usually was gone at least three months a year, reviewing restaurants, trying new local cuisine, and then he would come back and write for the rest of the year. It all sounded so glamorous. Before Millie, Emmeline always imagined that she would travel, maybe after college or something, but she never gave it much thought. It was always something way off, not really true. She had been so focused on her friends or passing her exams. Here was someone who had traveled the world, saw things that she could only imagine, things she hadn’t even thought of. For a moment, her world seemed so small. Not that she didn’t love her life. She loved Millie more than anything, but he was opening her eyes to a world of possibilities, and it was exciting.

She clicked the button and unlocked the car, Nicholas’s car. After all these years, it was starting to show its age, but it was fun to drive the little sports car. She leaned against the door, reached out, and grabbed his hand. He squeezed it slightly and moved in close. He smelled like spruce and vanilla and something else deeply masculine that made her want to suck it all in. Her heart beat fast, and she took a deep breath.

He leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. She opened her mouth slightly, and he deepened the kiss as she melted into his arms. A few seconds later he backed off, resting his forehead on hers. She felt the electricity of it shock her body back into life. No wonder she was drawn to him the moment she first saw him. This was seriously real. She wanted him to kiss her again, badly. She held on tighter to his hand and smiled shyly, looking at the ground. She knew she’d have to leave—the idea was to take things slowly, and she could see herself jumping in with two feet. Totally opposite to everything that she had promised herself in the days leading up to the date. So far she hadn’t broken any of her resolves, and yet the temptation was great.

“I should probably go,” she said, and bit her lip. “But I won’t, so you can kiss me more.” Her cheeks burned in embarrassment and pleasure at her boldness.

“Yeah,” he said, his voice husky and deep.

Emmeline’s insides turned to goo, and he took her into his arms again. He kissed so intently she could have forgotten her name, forgotten completely who she was. His touch, his lips, his tongue, immediately knew her. Grappling to keep her head, she pulled back.

“I, um,” she said, stumbling to gain control of her thoughts, “should get home. Millie, um, still wakes up in the middle of the night.”

“I guess you better go, then.” He pressed his body into hers and nibbled on her ear for an earth-shattering moment before whispering, “I’ll call you.”

She nodded and fumbled around for the door handle until she could lift it up. Joel stepped back and opened the door the rest of the way, and Emmeline got in, regretfully.

He watched her drive away. As soon as she was well out of Joel’s sight, she started screaming. “Oh. My. Goodness! I can’t believe this is happening! Oh my goodness!” She was grateful that no one could hear her.

She got home and found Pernella fast asleep on the couch, with some sort of horror flick on the TV. There were zombies munching on half a dead chick’s face.

“Yuck,” said Emmeline. Pernella never chose the sweet movies. She put a blanket over her and then went upstairs and checked on Millie. She had got up at some point and was now curled in one of Pernella’s oversized suitcases from the seventies on the floor of her room, with her blae-blae covering her. All of her dolls and stuffies were in another suitcase beside her.

Why a suitcase? Emmeline wondered. That girl had a mind of her own. She pulled the covers down on her bed and picked up Millie, who hardly stirred, and tucked her in with blae-blae. She covered her and kissed her on the forehead.

She left for her own room, excited and exhausted. The entire experience was so overwhelming, and unbelievably perfect. How could anything go wrong?

Emmeline settled into a hot bath, then fell asleep dreaming of honey sweet kisses.

Chapter Twenty-Five

The next morning, while Emmeline was making Millie’s breakfast, she was blasted with questions and some not-so-subtle teases from Pernella, who begged for juicy details that Emmeline was reluctant to give. It was still too new, too fresh. She was still trying to make sense of it all herself. Millie looked thoroughly confused, especially as her mother’s phone kept buzzing with texts from Ginny asking the same questions.

“What is going on, Mom?” she demanded.

“Nothing sweetie, eat your oatmeal,” Emmeline said, placing the breakfast bowl in front of Millie. She turned and gave Pernella the stink eye. Pernella responded by snorting, then popped her headphones back on and continued working on her painting, a self-portrait that she had already named Glorious Being. Emmeline hoped that would be the end of it from both of them. Besides, she didn’t want to jinx it. It had been a great night, so much better than what she had expected. She had floated home on a cloud, and she really hoped that this was something real, but there was always that possibility that he would never call back.

Sadly, Emmeline returned to the pile of bills on the kitchen table. She hated the middle of the month when they all came in, and this morning of all mornings she didn’t feel like dealing with any of them. If only they could all go poof! She thought of the merits of having a golden genie. Callum had finally taken over his parents’ antique store back in Port Hope; perhaps he had one lying around he could lend her to fulfill a couple of wishes.

“I don’t know how you can say nothing when your stupid phone keeps buzzing like it’s on fire. Who is it anyway?” asked Millie.

“It’s just Auntie Ginny. Now can we all talk about something else?” Emmeline growled.

“Seriously, you’re not going to tell me? Is it about my next birthday?”

Her next birthday was so far away now it was hardly worth mentioning. They had Millie’s movie night marathon not that long ago. Emmeline shook her head. Seven-year-olds, especially smart ones, weren’t easy to distract. They knew for sure when you were keeping something from them. Long gone were the days when she could distract her with a cookie. “I went out and had dinner with a friend, you know, sometimes mommies like to do that. Nothing more.”

Millie looked down at her breakfast, unimpressed.

“Mommy,” said Millie very firmly, “I have an announcement. Last night I decided what I am going to be when I grow up.”

“Really?” This was a first. In Emmeline’s dreams, she was hoping that Millie would decide on something like a chiropractor or ophthalmologist. Millie was smart, sometimes startlingly so. Her teachers were already asking to have her tested for the gifted program. Emmeline held them back, not sure that a label of “super smart” was the best thing for her daughter. Still, Millie was an exact type of kid, and never made proclamations without backing them up. If she said she wanted to be something, she meant it. Emmeline was extremely curious what this little body in front of her was dreaming about.

“And what exactly do you want to be?” she asked.

“It’s so simple I don’t know why I didn’t realize it before,” Millie said. She took another oversized bite of oatmeal.

“And are you going to share this revelation anytime soon?”

“I’m not sure why I even have to tell you, you should already know what it is.”

“Did you hear that, Pernella?” Emmeline asked, wishing that she really could read Millie’s mind. It would certainly make this parenting thing easier.

“Huh?” she mumbled back, pulling one of the headphones blaring Metallica out of her ears.

“Our girl has decided that she knows what her true calling in life is.”

Pernella clasped her hands together. “Oh sweetie pie, you must tell us.” She put her paint brush down and used her walker, something Pernella was still getting used to, to come over to the table. She sat down beside Emmeline, who was nursing her third cup of coffee.

“Well?” said Millie. “What do you think?”

“You haven’t said anything yet. How am I supposed to have an opinion?”

“I am going to make movies.”

With that, she put down her oatmeal spoon and walked out of the room.

“She’s kidding, right?” Emmeline asked, astounded.

“I don’t think she does that,” said Pernella, examining the paint on her fingers.

“What does she mean? Is she going to write movies, produce movies, direct movies? Where did this come from? How does she even know that is a thing?”

“If Millie wants to make movies, then that is what she’ll do, and God help the person who tries to stop her. I’ve never met anyone who is as determined as that girl. I tell you, she’s brilliant.”

Emmeline shrugged. Millie never ceased to amaze her. She looked down at her pile of bills. With a daughter who wanted to make movies, she’d have a lot more of those for sure. She was lost in thought when the phone rang and her heart jumped—Sugar Boy!

Chapter Twenty-Six

Emmeline looked at the call display as she picked up the phone, realizing she had been stupid to think that Joel would call so early in the morning. It was Callum.

“Hey, I wanted to let you know that I pulled out a director’s chair out of storage this morning, and I thought that Millie would like to have it.”

“How did you know about that?” Emmeline asked, stunned. “I just learned about it myself.” She was still trying to wrap her head around that whole idea. She wasn’t even convinced that it would stick.

“Millie called last night to let me know what she had decided. She said you were out somewhere, and that she wasn’t supposed to know where.”

Emmeline groaned. At least that explained what Millie was doing out of bed last night. “I, um, ate a date.”

Callum snorted. “I hope he’s okay. I wouldn’t mind if you ate me from time to time!”

“Callum! Had a date. I hate a date.” She paused and started again much more slowly. “I went out on a date. It was very nice.” She wasn’t sure why it suddenly felt so weird to talk about it.

There was a moment of silence on the other end.

“Did he treat you well, or do I need to beat him up? I’m sure I have a pair of boxing gloves around here.”

“No beating anyone up.” Then she changed the subject. “Millie’s going to love the director’s chair. I think that is pretty fabulous,” Emmeline said, biting a fingernail.

“Good, I’ll be by later today to drop it off. I’ve got Mike looking after the shop today.”

“Mike, are you sure? Remember what he did last time?”

“I know, but he really felt bad afterwards about selling the chamber pot as a mixing bowl. I think he’ll be more careful now. At least I hope so.”

Emmeline shuddered at the thought. “And how much did it cost you to make the customer happy again?”

“Grrrr…” He grumbled deep in his throat. “I’ve been labeling things extremely precisely ever since.”

“I have to go to work for the morning, but Millie and Pernella will be around. I almost never go in on a Saturday, but Kathy asked if I could cover for her for a few hours.”

“How ’bout I pick Millie up and take her out to lunch? I can give her the director’s chair then.”

Emmeline smiled. “Of course. I’ll tell her before I leave. I mean, not about the chair, about lunch.”

“Awesome. See you later, kiddo.”

Emmeline felt better about leaving for the morning, and she knew Millie would be pleased. She quickly got ready and told Millie that Callum was coming over to take her out for lunch. Her daughter squealed and started picking out something to wear. When Emmeline left, she was on the third outfit, this time with outsized sunglasses and a boa mixed with camo pants. Surprisingly it didn’t look all that bad on her. With clothes, as with everything, Millie had her own way of doing things. Emmeline wished she could be as confident as that kid of hers.

The minutes ticked away slowly all morning. By the afternoon she had probably checked her cellphone at least a hundred times.

Relax, girl, boys don’t call right away. She texted Ginny instead, who promptly answered:

Ginny: If you want to talk to Sugar Boy, then just call him.

Emmeline thought about it, but he said he’d call her. Maybe she’d give him a chance to. It didn’t make waiting any easier, though.

Callum and Millie weren’t back by the time Emmeline got home. She was flustered and didn’t know quite what to do with herself. Pernella just shook her head and laughed at her. Emmeline felt ridiculous and was quite relieved when Millie and Callum came home.

Millie didn’t have to say anything to show that she was in love with the chair: the look on her face said it all. Although she did cart it around the house with her, insisting dramatically over and over that it was like destiny-meeting, heart-exploding joy.

Callum’s heart looked like it was exploding watching Millie. Clearly, he was pleased that Millie was pleased.

“Thank you,” Emmeline said. She went up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “I think this makes it official. Our little Millie has found her life’s calling.”

“She’s a smart kid. I can hardly even begin to imagine what that girl is capable of.”

Emmeline sighed as the two of them watched Millie quickly losing herself to her dream world. “Want to stay for dinner? I can whip up a batch of scalloped potatoes.”

“You’re killing me, you know those are my favorite. I wish. I’ve got to get back and see if Mike has burned the shop down. It’s always a possibility, but worth it to spend time with Millie.”

“Callum, I don’t know what she’d—or even me—would do without you.”

Callum left a little while later, and Emmeline started some dough for pizza instead. The pounding of the dough was a good distraction from checking her phone every few minutes. As the hours wore away, a hollowness drilled its way through her chest as she began to worry that any interest Joel might have had in her was in her head.

When he finally did call, she nearly jumped out of her skin. Thank God, she thought, I’m not crazy. They talked for ten minutes before Emmeline had to run and drop off Millie at her dance class. Routine-driven Millie would lose it if she was late for class. Emmeline promised to call him back that night.

Emmeline tucked Millie into bed, listening to her begging for twenty minutes for a video camera. Millie refused to go to sleep until Emmeline promised to think about it.

Before she called back, Emmeline made a quick stop in the bathroom and brushed her hair, then chastised herself. It’s not like he could even see her. But it made her feel better. She dialed his number and waited for Joel to answer. They spent the next two hours chatting. She could listen to him talk forever. His husky voice made her shiver, and lulled her into a dream-like state. Many times, she had to remind herself that this was just a boy, not a Greek god she was talking to. How did she let herself get so swept up in a flurry of emotions? Didn’t she ever learn?

Joel met her for coffee Monday afternoon at the bakery on her lunch hour. She had to resist the urge to bounce up and down as soon as she saw him. They decided to take their coffee to go and walk along the river that crossed under the downtown street, away from her boss’s prying eyes. She knew no matter what she would be teased, but at least it would be nice if Joel wasn’t in the room when Kathy started in on her.

Keep it slow, girl, she reminded herself.

It wasn’t awkward, not even for a moment. They seemed to snap into place like puzzle pieces with no effort. They made plans to see each other again. And he was really accommodating when she explained that she needed to keep some strong perimeters around her time with Millie. He didn’t even freak out that she wasn’t ready for them meet any time soon. He understood, and explained that he had a nephew and his brother was uber protective of his son.

She also got up the nerve to tell him that she wanted to take things slow. Not like they were even at that part in their relationship, but as strong as the attraction was, it would be best to lay things down on the line right away.

As Emmeline was muttering on about how she would understand if he thought she was being too much, she just didn’t have any real relationship experience, he reached out and grabbed her hand. “It’s okay, everything, all of this is good. I mean really good. I used to mock my sister about her dreamy-eyed Disney princess lovey-dovey talk, and look at me. Emmeline, I’m a mess. One date with you, and I’m mesmerized. You’re so strong, and interesting, and damn it, you’re so beautiful. I can’t even imagine what you’re doing with me!”

Emmeline felt her cheeks burning. “Really? You aren’t just saying that to make me shut up, are you?”

Joel laughed. “No, whatever you do, don’t stop talking. Tell me everything. I mean, I want to know every single thing about you.”

“I’m sure that is going to be a short story,” Emmeline insisted as she looked at the time. Her break disappeared in the snap of her finger, and she started to lead him back toward her work. They paused just outside the bakery before she went back in. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in close.

“I’m not sure I’m ready to say goodbye yet,” he said.

“Me, neither,” she said in a half-whisper. Kiss me, kiss me, a little voice in her head chanted.

“When can I see you next?”

“Let me talk with Pernella. I think she won’t mind if we go out Sunday night after Millie’s gone to sleep. I hate to take advantage of Pernella, asking her to babysit unless I really need her to. Besides, I can see her slowing down. She’s even taken to having afternoon naps.”

“You’re so good to look after Pernella like you do. I’m not sure I could do it.”

“I don’t do much. Besides, it works for us; she was there for me when I really needed her. When everyone was freaking out, I found peace in her home.”

“So, Sunday, hopefully. You’ll break my heart if you can’t make it.”

“Mine too,” she said. Their breathing became heavy as Joel leaned in and kissed her. For the second time, she just melted into his arms, her insides turning to goo. She wanted this moment to last forever.

He pulled back, and her bottom lip jutted out, pouting. He reached up and gently pinched it. “You be careful with that pout. It’s not like I wanna stop.” He winked at her.

“I should go, I’m sure I’m late.” She glanced down at her watch. “Oh, crap, I really am late. Tonight, I’ll call you tonight.”

The rest of the day had her in a daze. She could hardly focus. She burned her hand, she walked into a wall. She wasn’t normally so clumsy. It was too soon to behave like this, she told herself over and over again.

She went home and made arrangements with Pernella for Sunday night. That was six painfully long days away. The thought took her breath away and ached in her gut. She decided to call Ginny first to tell her about her progress with Joel instead of calling him. Maybe Ginny could talk her back down to earth.

Ginny didn’t. She just laughed. Uncontrollably. Emmeline momentarily regretted calling her.

“So, tell me everything. Really. I want to know. But if you’re calling me to talk you out of this dreamy state you’re in with Sugar Boy, you can forget it. It’s about time!”

“So, it’s really okay?” Emmeline asked.

“Yes! It’s really okay,” said Ginny.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Date three went better than two and one, and led to them spending as much time with each other as they could squeeze out in a day. Joel mostly worked on his own schedule, which meant he had a bit more freedom and came by the bakery regularly on Emmeline’s lunch.

These stolen minutes meant so much to Emmeline, who felt like she was coming back to life. Years of loneliness and longing for what could have been were slipping away, replaced with a newfound joy. Joel brought excitement with his sugar-melting kind of kisses. After one such knee-buckling kiss, Emmeline told him his nickname, which seemed all too true at that moment. He snorted. Emmeline couldn’t tell if he was amused or annoyed, but whether he liked it or not, it was too late: Sugar Boy was the name he was stuck with.

Before she knew it, three months had passed, and Millie absolutely knew something was up. She didn’t quite know what, but she kept questioning Emmeline. It was hard to keep anything a secret around her for long.

Besides, Emmeline really wanted to let Joel meet Millie. Things were going really well during their stolen moments. The question was, how much would Millie really understand, and how would she take it? With most seven-year-olds you could just say “This is Mommy’s friend” and leave it at that without too much fuss. With Millie, however, you always had to be prepared for her to push her questions further until you spilled your guts.

Maybe she would be fine. Emmeline needed to take the chance. Finally, she decided to bite the bullet and tell her as she handed Millie her after-school snack and some watermelon juice, hoping for the best.

“Angel Face, I told you sometimes Mommy goes out and spends time with her friend after you go to sleep.”

“You sneak out all the time,” Millie said, unimpressed, and then slurped down her juice through a crazy twisty straw.

“You’re asleep, how do you know?”

“I don’t know, I just do.”

“Listen, Mommy’s friend is really special to me. It makes me happy to spend time with him. You like to spend time with your friends too, right?”

“Sometimes, but mostly all they do is want to play ponies. I mean, ponies are fun, but seriously, there are so many more things that we could do.”

Millie seemed to struggle at times to connect with other kids her age. She didn’t complain about too much, but Emmeline wasn’t sure if that was because Millie wasn’t overly bothered by it, or if she was embarrassed to talk about it. Generally, when Emmeline asked, Millie gave the typical “I’m fine” answer that most kids gave.

“Could I introduce you to my friend one day? Would you like that?” Emmeline knew she was being overly cautious. She wanted to say, “There, you’re going to meet my dreamy new boyfriend, and you’re going to love him,” even though she knew that would set Millie off on the wrong foot for sure.

“Maybe.” Millie eyed her suspiciously. “Does he know who I am?”

“Don’t be silly, of course he does. He knows all about you. I always talk about you.”

“Does he know that I like to eat my pancakes in heart shapes?”

“He might not.”

“He knows nothing, then.”

“Millie, you don’t have to meet him. I won’t be mad.” Emmeline clenched her teeth and waited for an answer.

Millie was quiet for a moment. Emmeline could almost see the wheels in her head moving. Smart she was, subtle she wasn’t. “Who is Sugar Boy?” she asked finally.

Emmeline burst out laughing, while Millie looked offended.

“That’s Mommy’s nickname for her friend.”

“Is he actually made of sugar?”

Emmeline tried to stifle her laughter this time. “No, he’s not. He just has a sweet tooth, so Auntie Ginny and I started to call him that. We thought it was cute.”

“Does he know?” She looked very concerned.

“Yes, he thinks it’s funny.” At least she hoped he did.

“Does he know that you shouldn’t have too many sweets? It can cause diabetes.”

“How do you know about diabetes?”

“I know stuff.” With that, she skipped off, and Emmeline wasn’t sure if that meant Millie wanted to meet Joel or not. Either way, it was going to happen now.

Later, Emmeline dropped Millie off at her musical theater group. It was something that Emmeline had signed her up for, taking her out of ballet when Millie decided that she wanted to be a movie director. If Emmeline was being honest, she missed the little tutus, but Millie flat-out refused to go back, saying that she needed to focus on her movie career.

With Millie in theater class, Emmeline met Joel at the beach for the hour. She wanted to approach him with the idea of meeting Millie. He was waiting for her on a bench by the parking lot with two cups that promised a cappuccino from her favorite coffee shop. He was wearing the jacket that Emmeline loved so much. Thank goodness there was more to him than just his good looks, because she might have fallen for him no matter what.

“For you,” he said, handing her the steaming cup of coffee.

“My favorite, thanks.” She kissed him on the cheek and took a sip. “Millie’s been asking about you.”

“I thought she didn’t know anything about me.”

“Well, she asked me who Sugar Boy was.”

“You make me sound like some sort of lollipop.”

Emmeline raised her eyebrows and then stifled a grin. “Anyway,” she continued, trying to maintain control, “maybe we can make arrangements to get you two together. I mean, if you want to meet her.”

“Are you sure it’s time? I’d like to meet her, but I want to make sure you are a hundred percent sure.”

“We have to stop sneaking around like this. I feel like I’m hiding my boyfriend from my parents. That kid, I tell you, she’ll be an adult before I will!”

“She sounds like quite the character.”

“You have no idea,” Emmeline muttered, shaking her head.

“Where does she like to go?” he asked. “Maybe we can take her to her favorite place, we’ll stack the deck in our favor.”

“You aren’t nervous, are you?”

“I’d be stupid not to. She’s your kid, and I want her to like me. That’s the final test, isn’t it? I have a feeling that if she doesn’t like me, then we’re done.”

“I don’t know what I’d do, to be honest. It would definitely make things uncomfortable. She’s always going to be my first priority. Millie didn’t end up with the life she was supposed to have with her father dying so young. It’s hard for her, even if she doesn’t know many details of what went on before she was born, and then what happened after that. She doesn’t really have grandparents. My parents are on the verge of freaking out every time they’re near her. Either they come on too strong and it’s too much, or it’s cold stony silence. Don’t even get me started on Nicholas’s parents. That’s a disaster that I don’t think we have time to go into.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Worse.”

“What does Millie like to do?”

“Right now, she’s pretty obsessed with movies. She carries her video camera around with her all the time.” Emmeline had given in a month ago and said yes to Callum’s begging to let him buy Millie a proper video camera. It seemed wrong to keep saying no to Callum, who really wanted to do it for Millie, especially when Emmeline couldn’t really afford it herself. It was a little detail she hadn’t told Joel, although she didn’t understand why herself. Joel knew that Callum was a big part of their lives.

“Are you sure she’s seven?”

“It would explain a lot if she wasn’t.”

“Listen, the travel company that I’m working with is filming a short vlog for the website. It’s not a big deal, but there will be a director there, and video equipment. What do you think if I make arrangements for you guys to come and meet me there? I have a short piece to do about traditional local cuisine, which should only take an hour or so to film.”

“Seriously? I think she would love it.”

“Yeah, and then we can take her out to dinner. I know this great restaurant where they put out all kinds of raw ingredients, then you pick what you want, choose the spices, and then they cook it for you. It’s kind of fun, and there should be lots of variety for her.”

Emmeline grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I can’t even believe that you’re real! What are you doing with me?”

Joel leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips. “It’s you I should be saying that to. You are the most fascinating person I’ve ever met. You’re strong, and determined, and real. I’ve met so many women who are just putting on a façade, or insist on playing games. You have never tried to be anything other than who you are. I appreciate that more than you can imagine.”

“I’m not very good at being anyone else. I don’t even have the energy to try and play games. Let me have a nap, and I’ll see what kind of games I can get up to.” She winked, then checked her watch. “Crap, it’s time for me to go.”

“So soon.” He pouted.

“Yes, but you make those plans and then we can all hang out together, lots!”

He kissed her goodbye and she jumped back into the car. She got back to Millie’s class with hardly a minute left to spare. On their way out, Emmeline carefully approached the subject again.

“You remember when you were asking me about my friend?”

“You mean, Sugar Boy?” Millie sung the last two words in a taunting manner.

“Yes, him,” Emmeline said, suddenly exasperated. “I was thinking that we should do something fun together. What do you think?”

“Will he bring candy?”

“Probably not.”

“Good, I don’t want him to get diabetes.”

Emmeline laughed.

“When do I meet him?”

“He has to film something for his work. It’s not a movie or anything, it’s just him talking about some of his favorite restaurants in the area, I think. It’s pretty close to a real movie set, so he thought maybe you’d be interested. I told him about you wanting to be a director when you grow up.”

“Yes! Maybe the director there will discover me.”

“I’m sure it’s not going to be like that.”

“You never know. I think I should bring a video camera, so he will know I’m serious.”

“I think that would be just fine.”

Emmeline called Joel when she got home and told him that they were officially in. They made plans for Millie to meet him at his office after she was done with school the following Friday. Millie was beyond excited.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

The following week promised a lot of excitement. On top of Millie and Joel meeting, Millie’s musical theater class had just been told that they needed to come up with a simple audition piece for the following week. Much to Millie’s delight, the instructor decided that they were doing well enough that they would be putting on a musical. Together they had settled on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The instructor explained that he would be awarding parts based on the auditions. Each participant was required to recite a passage from the play and sing a song of their choice. Millie had promptly announced that she wouldn’t be auditioning for a role. Rather, she was going to direct the play. The instructor promptly disagreed, and gave her the same assignment as the rest of the class.

Millie, clearly annoyed that Director Anthony had dismissed what was obviously her calling, went back and forth from stomping around the house to scribbling ideas into a notebook that she later confessed were detailed plans on how to change his mind. All the while, she insisted that she wasn’t going to audition for any ol’ stupid part. Emmeline finally had to put her foot down and told Millie to come up with something. This meant she had to endure several nasty glares while listening to Millie sing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” putting a rather dramatic emphasis on the line, “Where dreams come true!” It came out as a shout, but Emmeline was satisfied that at least she would have something to present at the audition. Millie had memorized the passage she was supposed to recite a few hours after receiving the script. At least they didn’t have to work on that. Millie strongly felt that knowing the script inside and out was in the job description of being a director. Emmeline caught her reading and re-reading the script. She had no worries there.

Between Millie’s excitement at getting to meet a real director and her despair at having to do an audition piece for her theater group, her daughter couldn’t talk of much else. Neither could Emmeline. It was stressful to think that these two most important people in her life would finally be meeting. She went back and forth between regretting her decision and wishing that the day would come. Millie didn’t seem to care about meeting Joel as much as getting to spend time around the director and cameras. Emmeline kept trying to bring her expectations down, sure that it wouldn’t be as big a deal as Millie thought it was going to be. She had hoped it would be just a fun little activity that they could do together, and the emphasis would be on the meeting. It was turning out to be the opposite, making Emmeline sure she handled the whole thing wrong from the beginning. But she was stuck now. She couldn’t change her mind about it even if she wanted to without breaking both their hearts. Several times during the days leading up to their meeting she needed to stop and take some deliberate deep breaths to calm herself down.

The question of what would she do if they didn’t get along haunted her every minute. She even Googled parenting advice on the subject. There seemed to be just as many experts claiming you shouldn’t introduce your child to a new boyfriend until you were talking about marriage as there were experts claiming it was best for them to meet early on in the relationship. Emmeline and Joel were not at the point where they were talking about marriage, but Emmeline didn’t want to hide him from Millie either anymore. Maybe it would be different if she were separated from Millie’s dad and could date on the weekends when Millie was away with him. If only that were the case.

Pernella’s advice was simple. “Ignore everyone and do what your heart is saying. You like this guy, he seems decent. Millie’s strong. Stop second guessing yourself.”

Emmeline knew Pernella was probably right. It still didn’t make the nerves go away. The question was, how deep was she really in with Joel? Was she prepared to say, “I love you”? Did he feel like that about her? It wasn’t totally clear yet. All she could say with a hundred percent certainty was that she thought about him all the time. When she heard his voice, her body tingled with joy. She always wanted to be around him, hear what he had to say, feel his hands caressing her. Something could be very real between them. But Millie came first.

Why does it have to be so complicated? she screamed to herself. She was so mixed up she didn’t know what to think or feel.

Thursday was Millie’s audition; Friday was the meeting with Joel. Emmeline couldn’t wait for Saturday!

By the time the sun rose on Thursday morning, both of them were completely frazzled, and Emmeline still couldn’t convince Millie that participating as a character in the play was an important step toward being a director. They got into it again on the way to class that evening.

“You just need to understand that it’s important to know about all parts of the theater if this is what you really want to do. You have to understand it from the actor’s point of view as well.”

“Mom, you don’t get it. It’s not the same as when you were a kid!”

Emmeline looked sideways at her daughter. This was the first time anyone had accused her of being old. Kids! She was grateful when they finally got to the theater and hoped that the instructor would have a better chance of convincing Millie this was a good thing. Emmeline normally didn’t stay for class, but stuck around at the back of the theater in case Millie got a little out of hand. Besides, the students were free to leave after their auditions. Next week, they would start fresh on the play after everyone was designated their parts.

The argument over whether Millie should be the director of the play continued the moment she hit the stage to present her audition.

“Please wait to speak until you get to the microphone,” her instructor said from the red velvet chairs in the front row of the theater. He scratched his head, covered in lush salt and pepper hair, with a pen.

Millie closed her mouth and did as she was told, walking to center stage, then began her well-rehearsed defense. There was no denying the passion in her voice.

“I have spent lots of hours thinking, and I feel that spending time learning how to act is not a smart idea. I have read everything I can and watched all the director’s commentaries on all my favorite movies, and now I think that I am ready…”

“I understand where in the theater your aspirations lie, but we all must start somewhere. You need to either present your audition or leave the stage,” Director Anthony said in no uncertain terms.

“But…”

“You’re not the director, I am the director, so you have to do what I say,” Anthony answered through a forced smile. Emmeline felt sorry for him, but not so secretly admired Millie’s ambition and strength. There were so many times she looked at her little girl and wished she could be more like her. Millie went after what she wanted with everything she had, without fear, while Emmeline got stuck in her own head. She knew what she wanted—she wanted her own bakery. She wanted Joel. She wanted to start a life with both of them—but relied heavily on flimsy excuses to keep her from doing it.

“But I told you,” Millie said from center stage, continuing her argument as Anthony tapped his clipboard. “I don’t want to be an actress, I want to be a director. That’s why I’m here. I don’t know why you won’t just let me do it.”

“You’re seven!”

Millie stared blankly.

“Because, in order to be effective as a director, it is beneficial to understand the stage from the actor’s point of view.”

It was nice for someone else to back Emmeline up by saying the same thing. Millie made a face, and then took an exaggerated breath before she recited her passage from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. For a moment, she was completely transformed into Verruca Salt, and Anthony Von Stuz was left speechless.

“Can you keep going?” he finally asked.

“Sure, if you want.” Then Millie recited the next three pages of lines—not only Verruca Salt’s, but everyone else’s, in character. “Is that enough? I can sing the next song too if you’d like?” she finally asked, hands on her hips.

“Brava, Brava!” Anthony shouted, standing up while clapping, letting his clipboard fall forgotten to the floor. “You shall be our Verruca, and a marvelous one at that. You did exactly what I needed you to!”

Millie looked at him weirdly, clearly not understanding the fuss. She hadn’t accomplished what she had set out to do at all! Emmeline almost thought she’d cry, she was so proud, and ran around to the back of the stage where she caught Millie stomping down the stairs.

“Angel Face, if only you could see yourself. You really are good. You’re going to be fantastic in the play.”

“You’re my mom, you’re supposed to say that,” she grumbled. Millie didn’t seem ready to let go of what she wanted just yet. Emmeline could practically hear the wheels grinding in her daughter’s head.

Whether Millie was ready to accept it or not, the whole thing went better than expected. Hopefully the meeting with Sugar Boy would be the same.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

By Friday morning, Emmeline was a pile of nerves and ended up breaking her favorite coffee cup. The introduction had to go perfectly. This was entirely new territory. What would she do if Millie hated Joel? It was hard for her to even think about what that would mean. How could she be with someone who her daughter hated? How could she let her kid decide her future love life?

Ginny was so curious about the whole thing that she spontaneously decided she had to come up for the weekend.

“Besides,” Ginny said on the phone as they were making plans a few hours before the meeting, “if it goes bad, you might need a bit of support. Not that I think that anything will go wrong, but just in case. Besides, I really need to see this guy who captured my best friend’s heart.”

“He sorta has,” Emmeline answered shyly. It sometimes was hard to believe. For so long she could hardly think about having a relationship, and now she was practically glowing with the mention of Joel’s name.

“Well, it’s about time. I’ve been telling you for years, you’re beautiful and young, you should go out more.”

“Frankly, I’m just amazed that anyone would want to be a part of my crazy schedule. Fingers crossed that everything goes well. It’ll make it so much easier if we can all spend time together, and I’m no longer trying to hide us from Millie.”

“Do you regret not introducing them earlier?”

“No, I wanted to make sure there was something real between us first. Truthfully, I’ll be so relieved when all this is over. It’s hard being single all the time, seeing everyone else go out, getting married, moving on with their lives, and I’m here with nothing changing. It would be really nice to have someone at the end of the day to talk to, snuggle with, watch movies. That sort of thing. Everyone needs something from me. It’s exhausting. It’s nice having Joel around. He doesn’t need anything from me. It’s refreshing.”

“So, how serious are you two?”

“Serious enough. We’ll see how it goes with Millie. I feel like I can’t let myself settle a hundred percent into the relationship until they meet. I mean, Millie is everything. And she’s never had a male figure around, other than Callum. This is different.”

“I am really proud of you for actually going after this. I know how hard everything has been for you, and you haven’t closed yourself off from a relationship.”

“Like Pernella?”

“Yeah, that was my one worry when I first suggested going there. That she would rub off on you, and you’d never be open to anyone else.”

“Pernella is Pernella. I have a feeling that she never really loved her fiancé in the first place, and used it as her excuse. Either way, no one in the world is like Pernella. She is a beast unto herself.”

“Tell me about it. I’ll be there around ten. Keep the door open for me,” said Ginny.

“Always is,” Emmeline said and she hung up the phone.

She wanted this day to be over so much. She tried to not let Millie see how anxious she really was, although she was sure that she knew. Millie spent the whole morning before school talking about her first chance on a film set. Emmeline still couldn’t figure out why she wanted to make movies and not be in them. Didn’t most people want the opposite? Millie always did things her own way. At least that kept life interesting.

Emmeline was waiting outside the school when the bell rang, signaling the end of the day, and Millie came running out. Somehow, she had changed her clothes. Instead of her brown dress with the flowers, socks, and runners, she was wearing a silver sparkle skirt that Emmeline had never seen, along with Emmeline’s white scarf. Dark purple lipstick was smeared along her lips, staining her cheeks and chin.

“Mommy!” Millie shouted as she ran across the school yard, her arms prepped for a hug.

“What happened to you? And whose skirt is that?” Emmeline looked down at the little girl wrapped round her legs, wondering how she was going to clean that stuff off her face.

“It’s Maggie’s,” she said. “We talked about it yesterday, and we decided that I needed something a bit more movie-ish if I was going to be famous. She said she had the perfect thing.”

“Sweetie, this isn’t going to be a big thing. It’s not a movie set. It’s Joel sitting in a chair answering questions for a vlog.”

“Yes, and maybe I could give the directions, and ask him questions too. I just want them to take me seriously!”

“I’m sure they will take you seriously, I just don’t think it will be what you expect it to be.” Emmeline frowned as she opened the back door of the little sports car and let Millie in, thinking it wouldn’t be long before she was big enough to sit in the front seat with her. It was fun watching her grow, and yet sometimes it to a little too fast.

It wasn’t far to the office where Joel told them to meet him. Emmeline parked the car just outside along the street. The building was several stories tall, made out of cold concrete block with no real decoration to break up its severity. Under the block numbers indicating the address, there was a glass door with the communications company’s name, Porter, and a shiny metallic panel with a buzzer button and a video screen. It was so much more formal than Emmeline was expecting.

They rang the buzzer and waited for someone to answer. Millie had a tight grip on Emmeline’s hand, and a smile so big it looked like it had taken over her whole face. Before Emmeline could stop her, Millie pressed the button three more times. Emmeline wondered what the people inside must be thinking. Terrible first impression!

They waited for a few moments, and then finally a woman’s voice called through the speaker. Emmeline told her who she was, and received a very flat, “Sorry, only staff are allowed in the building.”

There was a beep and they were disconnected. Emmeline’s heart sank, and Millie’s eyes went flat.

Emmeline had to do something. This must be a huge mistake. Joel had promised that he had everything all arranged. She rang the bell again, and sternly told the woman on the other end that they were invited guests, and they were absolutely expected. She should go and check with Joel if she had any questions.

“I’ll be right back,” the snooty voice said. There was a loud beep, then silence.

“They have to let us in, Mommy!” Millie said, on the verge of crying.

“Just give me a minute to sort this out. There must be a mix up.” Please let this be a mix up, please.

“Does Sugar Boy not want us here?”

“It’s not that, Angel Face. The lady on the other end just didn’t know we were invited to come today.” Emmeline tried to make her voice calm and even, yet doubted it actually sounded like that.

A few minutes later, the voice came back. “Like I said, only staff are allowed. We don’t need any hangers-ons in here.” They heard the loud beep again as they were disconnected.

Emmeline’s stomach sank as Millie began to cry. Then disbelief and sadness was replaced with anger flooding her system.

“Don’t you worry,” she said curtly. “Mommy is just going to call her friend and make this all right.”

She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Joel’s number. It rang and rang, but there was no answer. The fiery ball of anger that had formed in her stomach flared. She didn’t like to trust people, and she didn’t like to disappoint her daughter. She always wanted Millie to know that what she said would happen, would happen, and she never made empty promises. Now, here, when the stakes were at the highest, when she needed Joel to come through—he picked now to let her down.

“This was a bad idea,” she mumbled to herself. What was she going to do with Millie now?

Millie’s small tears were turning into full-fledged sobbing, and Emmeline picked her up. She was getting too big for this, but Millie leaned in and smeared purple lipstick all over her mom’s white shirt, while wiping her nose.

Emmeline tried to comfort her and apologized a hundred times. Better not stay here, she thought, and walked back toward the car, cursing the money she had put in the meter to park in front of the building.

Joel came running out of the building and down the street, slightly out of breath as he caught up with them.

“Emmeline!” he said. “I am so sorry! This is just a mess.”

Millie looked up at him. Her lip jutted out and she squinted her eyes at him.

“Mommy,” she said abruptly, “is this a stranger?”

“No,” said Emmeline, her words tight and cool as she tried to control her temper. “This is not a stranger, it’s Mommy’s friend, who is here to explain why we weren’t allowed in.”

Joel looked pissed and frustrated, with a tinge of desperation. “I told my manager that you were coming a few days ago, and he was totally cool with it. I didn’t see any problems. But Cynthia is at the front desk today. Pedantic, honestly. I forgot to tell her, and then she came where we were setting up and asked if we were allowing people in the building while shooting. When I looked at my manager, I must have smiled before I said your name. She went nuts, and then went on and on about how we aren’t to let people in the building who don’t work there. She’s crazy.”

“Mommy, are we allowed in?” There were more tears freefalling down her cheeks.

“Just a second, Millie. Joel and I need to talk. So, are we in or out? If we’re out, I’d like to take Millie away now. She’s had enough. And I don’t want to prolong this. She’ll just get more upset.”

“Please don’t be mad. After Cynthia went off on my manager, well, he agreed. She’s the granddaughter of the man who owns that parent company that owns us. No one dares to cross her. And well, she’s a bit jealous.” His words trailed off, getting a little squeaky at the end.

“Jealous of what?” She eyed him suspiciously.

“Well, I broke up with her when we started seeing each other.” He then quickly threw in, “We weren’t serious or anything. Just, well, I thought it was casual. It seems like she was more into the relationship than I was.”

“So let me get this straight: Millie and I are being punished by the snot on the other end of the buzzer because you’ve been a jerk to her. Great!”

Joel winced.

“It would have been nice to be warned ahead of time! How many other people were you seeing when we got together?” she asked, louder than she had meant. “Millie, get in the car.”

Millie climbed in and Emmeline slammed the door, watching the color drain from Joel’s face.

“I was dating a few; nothing serious. Cynthia had hinted that she wanted us to be a bit more exclusive, but really, I just wasn’t into her, and kept putting her off. I wasn’t sure I wanted to see anyone exclusively. Then that day at the bakery when you asked me out—I don’t know, something just clicked. I broke up with her after our first date.”

“And the other girls?”

“History. Really, there’s just you. I’m just angry that Cynthia is taking it out on you. I told her the truth, that I was seeing someone new. She must have caught on right away that it was you when you guys showed up.”

Emmeline didn’t know what to say. She mostly wanted to deck him, or maybe throw up. What does this mean? What else was he hiding from her? How was she supposed to trust him when his first meeting with her kid ended with Millie sobbing?

This couldn’t be happening! He was so perfect. Maybe too good to be true.

Chapter Thirty

Emmeline couldn’t wait to get home. She wanted to jump into the shower, put on a pair of sweats, and distract herself with a movie marathon with Millie and Ginny and forget that Joel even existed. It was the first time Emmeline had to disappoint her kid like that. She hated the feeling. She worked so hard to make sure that Millie could depend on her, only promising things she could make good on. The fact that Joel made her let her kid down left her feeling like she wanted to vomit. She went out of her way to protect Millie from everything, and now it was falling apart.

On the way home, Millie cried quietly in the back seat. Emmeline automatically turned right at the ice cream shop. Just before they got inside their house, Millie lectured Emmeline about picking her friends better.

How could they come back from this?

Thank goodness Ginny showed up an hour after they returned.

“Jerk,” said Ginny, pouring them each a glass of wine.

“Thank you!” Emmeline said. “That is what I was thinking, except…” She started to chew on one of her fingernails.

“I feel a but coming on…”

“Well…you should have seen the look on his face when he came out after us. He looked devastated. I don’t think that was what he meant to happen. Didn’t stop the situation from being so crappy, though, or excuse him from treating Cynthia like that. He should have just been honest from the beginning.”

“So you have to tell me, do I hate him or do I love him?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. We have so much fun together, we get along so well, and he is such a freakin’ good kisser, but how am I supposed to trust him with Millie? If it was just me, you know, it wouldn’t matter. But if you saw the look on her face—it broke my heart. I think that the best thing I can do is break up with him. Millie’s not ready to have these sorts of disappointments in her life. Things are hard enough on her. And she is so focused on this play, determined that the director is going to hand the reins over to her. She’s not happy that she has to be up on stage. She still thinks she should be running the whole show.”

“That kid is hilarious, seriously.”

“She’s a handful. She has no idea that she’s seven, or even what that means.”

“So, no Sugar Boy?”

“No, I don’t think so. Maybe for the best…” Emmeline gulped down the rest of her wine and poured herself another glass.

“When are you going to tell him?”

“As soon as I get the nerve.”

Millie came down the stairs with an old hot pink dress and a pile of packages of miniature plastic gemstones.

“How are you doing, kiddo?” Ginny asked.

“Fine.” She was unusually curt. “I’ve decided that if I have to act in this play, then I am going to design my own costume.” She stood up a little straighter.

“Does the director know?”

“Not yet. I have to show him that I can do it. He doesn’t believe me yet. I have to come up with a bunch of good ideas, and then he’ll want to let me do it.”

“That is pretty smart! You know, I’m pretty sure that’s what your dad would have done too,” Emmeline said, picking up the skirt that Millie had brought down. It was plain, and Millie had hardly worn it. “What are the packages for?”

“The dress needs more sparkles. Could you show me how to sew?”

Emmeline wrapped her arms around her daughter and kissed the top of her head. “Of course. Ginny, do you know how to sew?”

It was Pernella who came to the sewing rescue. She sat them all down with a needle and thread, teaching them how to knot it at the bottom so that it wouldn’t come apart and how to make the gemstone secure. Emmeline and Ginny sat side by side long after the other two went to bed, attaching each one of the hundreds of gems that Millie had wanted in the pattern that she had decided upon. Together they opened another bottle of wine and sipped away. Soon both started to feel a little tipsy.

Emmeline’s anger bubbled up to the surface again as the night wore on.

“He lied. He made me feel like I was the only one. He never mentioned another girl. And then he’s all like, ‘I’m sorry, it’s not my fault that the girl I screwed over was mad and took it out on you.’ Well, that’s what happens. She should have taken it out on him! I’m going to do it for her! Me and Cynthia, we’re going to be like this.” She crossed her fingers.

Ginny started a pot of coffee.

“I’m not going to put off breaking up with him any longer. That’s it, give me the phone.” Emmeline picked up the phone and dialed Joel’s number.

“Hello!” she shouted in the phone.

“Oh, thank God you called. I’ve been worrying all night,” Joel said. She could hear the nervousness in his voice.

“Listen! We have to talk! Ginny and I have something we want to say you to, ah! You to say!”

“Is Ginny there?”

“Yes, why?”

“I’m coming over,” he said, and hung up the phone.

Emmeline must have looked bewildered as Ginny asked her what was going on.

“He’s coming here,” she said, unsure if she was furious, or terrified, or relieved.

Twenty minutes and an empty oversized mug of coffee later, there was a knock at the door.

Emmeline’s heart stopped. She was mad, she was disappointed, and mostly just confused.

“Can we go for a walk?” he asked. Emmeline looked at Ginny, who quickly nodded her head.

“Go, you two, I’m good here. I think I might have just found another package of gems I can sew on Millie’s dress.”

“Thanks, Ginny. I’d like to take the time to really meet you, but I think Emmeline and I better talk first,” Joel said.

Emmeline grabbed her coat and went out into the abnormally humid night air. They had only walked a few feet, and the tension cut hard between them when Joel asked, “How’s Millie?”

“She’s okay. We stopped for ice cream. She’s back to trying to figure out how to get her instructor to let her direct the play.”

“Thank goodness. You have no idea how bad I felt. I never thought that…”

“That’s the problem,” Emmeline interrupted. “You didn’t think. You really, seriously thought that you could parade your new girlfriend in front of your old girlfriend and there would be no problems. None at all? Really?”

“When you put it like that, I sound like a complete idiot.”

“If the shoe fits.”

“It’s okay. I think I deserved it.” His voice was low and quiet. “Are we going to be okay?”

Emmeline shook her head. “I think that it will be better this way.”

One look in his eyes, and she could feel the anger begin to ebb away. She cursed herself. She knew deep down that this was what she needed to do. What good would it do either her or Millie to be relying on someone who couldn’t be trusted? She closed her eyes and felt hot tears burning the corners. She had been so lonely for so long. She had seen everyone else running around with their families, Mom and Dad and the little ones running around their feet. She wanted to let Joel in, she wanted to, but how could she? The first time she truly let her guard down and this is what happened. What a mess.

“Please, I didn’t know Cynthia would react like that. It’s not like we had some sort of grand romance—it was casual, I had no idea that she felt anything real for me. Well, not until today. She came up to me after the shoot and apologised for throwing such a fit, pushing her family name on the manager, and for being such a jerk. She said she had been jealous, and when she saw your face on the intercom’s screen, she just lost it.”

“My face?”

“You have to be the most beautiful face I’ve ever seen. You must have noticed how nervous I was around you in the bakery when we first met.”

“No, me?”

“Yeah, I didn’t even have the guts to ask you out. I should have done that weeks before.”

“But you did.”

“Not until you asked me out first.”

Emmeline blushed at the memory. She still felt like a moron every time she thought about it. She could feel her resolve melting away some more. She tried to stiffen her body, but then he reached out and caressed her face.

“Listen, I don’t want this to be over. I don’t mind even waiting a little longer to meet Millie, you know, for real next time. I’ll take any minutes I can get with you. I can’t stand the idea of being without you. I don’t think that I could take it. You’re so beautiful, but that’s just the surface. You’re funny, you’re smart, you’re strong, and brave. I admire what you’ve done, and how you put Millie first. I really believe we have something together that is really special. Look at me, you’ve turned me into a babbling idiot, and I’m supposed to know how to use my words.”

“You sound more like me,” she teased gently. This was it, it had to be it. She couldn’t help but feel pulled to him. When the smile that she loved so much had disappeared from his face, it broke her heart. She always loved…“Oh no,” she gasped out loud.

“What? What did I do?” His eyes were pleading.

“No, nothing…” Please let it go, please, she silently begged. Those were the last words she wanted to say tonight. She was supposed to be breaking it off with him, not telling him that she loved him. Where was her head? Why did he have to look at her like that? Like he was on the verge of losing his entire world. Why did she feel the same?

“Tell me, I can take it,” he said, moving closer to her. His eyes were watery. Emmeline could smell his faint cologne curling into her nostrils, reminding her of the first time they had kissed. No, he wasn’t playing fair. He knew it drove her wild.

“I was just thinking, your smile is gone. It breaks my heart. I love your smile.” She leaned in as she said this, despite herself. Closer, to get another smell, closer to feel the heat of his body. She raised her hand and put it on his rippled chest. He relaxed slightly. That was it. Before she could even think, her lips crashed onto his and locked into a smouldering kiss, desperate and passionate.

This wasn’t like with Nicholas. She so young when they got together, she hardly knew anything. She thought she loved him. She did love him, but it was so long ago, and she was a different person now. She knew who she was now, and what she wanted. She wanted Joel. She wanted to spend every day kissing him, touching him. She wanted to hear him talk about food and recipes, fighting over who got to make dinner that night. She wanted to hear about all the places he had been and the people he met. She wanted to hold his hand, to know what it was like to wake up next to him. He brought her joy and excitement. Her entire body tingled when she was around him, and when he touched her, it was like a million tiny explosions of intense desire.

She clung to him, digging her fingers into his back, never wanting to let go. Tears began to stream down her face as she wrapped her arms around him He placed his hands firmly on her bum, squeezing. She knew that she couldn’t let him go, there was no way. She would have to make this work. She needed to.

He pulled away slightly. “Oh, baby, I can’t do this knowing that you’re just going to walk away. Please tell me before we go any further that this is the beginning and not a goodbye.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” she said, leaning in to nibble on his ear. “I can’t, I think I might just love you.”

“Love, that’s it! I love you, Emmeline. I don’t think I knew that until this second. I love you, I have since before I knew you. You were the one I was dreaming would come into my life.”

Emmeline giggled and they kissed again. How was she going to explain this to Ginny? She had just spent the whole night complaining about him.

Yet again, my mouth has made me look like an idiot.

Emmeline didn’t make it home until after two in the morning. She found Ginny fast asleep on the couch, with Millie draped over her. Emmeline felt a tinge of guilt for not being there when her daughter woke up in the middle of the night, but it was obvious that she was okay. Emmeline picked up her sleeping kid, wearing her princess jasmine top and a white tutu with rhinestones freshly sewn onto the hem. She must have been up for a while and convinced Ginny at bedazzle a few more things. She carried Millie up the stairs to her room and then returned to cover Ginny up with a blanket before going into the kitchen for a drink of water. She was tired and raw. The whole day had been a rollercoaster of emotions.

The kitchen looked freshly scrubbed and organized. Emmeline couldn’t help but be in wonder of Ginny; she was a force. Emmeline couldn’t understand how she could get so much done in so little time. It blew her mind. Part of it was that Ginny never questioned what she did, she just did it. She was kind of like Pernella that way. Just do, consequences be damned. Emmeline wished she was more like that. She thought about everything too much.

Even the pile of papers on top of the fridge was freshly organized. There was a stack of unopened letters on the table with a post-it note that said, “Read these,” and another stack with bills and a note that read “Really, you don’t even open these?” One more was set aside, and Ginny had scribbled on the envelope, “Open now!”

It was bad enough that she had to leave Joel in the first place, but to come home to the brutal reality of bills was too much. She climbed the stairs, undressed, and slipped into bed. There was no doubt she would sleep well tonight.

Chapter Thirty-One

Morning came far too early. Even though Millie had gone to bed late the night before, she still came bounding bright-eyed into Emmeline’s room before seven. Emmeline groaned, wishing she could go back to sleep, feeling as though she had just closed her eyes, but avoiding the temptation to pull the quilt back up over her head.

“Morning, sweetie,” Emmeline mumbled as she forced her eyes half-open. She closed them and then tried opening them again. Millie was sitting on the bed with red lipstick plastered from one end of her mouth to another, and her whole face was dusted in a dark cream-colored powder.

“What did you do?” She sat up in bed and noticed the smear of black eye shadow that painted Millie’s eyelids.

“I was thinking that Charlie and the Chocolate Factory has been done a million times.” Millie bounced on her hands and knees around the bed with excitement.

“Probably, it’s a classic.” Emmeline tried unsuccessfully to suppress a yawn. How on earth do kids have so much energy in the morning?

“Aren’t people sick of it? Everyone has read the book, seen the movie, and watched the play.”

“What are you getting at?” She was a little nervous as to where this kid of hers was going with this train of thought.

“Wouldn’t it be more interesting if we did a zombie version? What if all the chocolate that Willy Wonka makes turns people into zombies? Can’t you see it, the entire cast walking around saying ‘Chocolate, chocolate.’” Millie acted out the scene, walking back and forth on the bed.

Emmeline burst out laughing. Chocolate pretty much had that effect on her.

“When did you come up with that?”

“Sometime last night.”

“And where did you get all that makeup?”

“Ginny’s suitcase. She’s up, you know. She’s downstairs burning toast for breakfast. I think you might need to go downstairs before she actually tries to eat it.”

“Deal. Go wash that stuff off, and I’ll rescue Ginny from her toast and make some pancakes.”

“Pancakes, yes, but I need to perfect the zombie look before I tell our director about this. It has to be great, or he won’t be happy. He gets so upset over these little changes I try to make.”

“Turning his play into a zombie horror show isn’t a little change. That’s a completely new play. You might have to give up on this one.”

“He has no imagination!” declared Millie, throwing her hands up in the air before stomping off toward the bathroom.

Emmeline rolled her eyes, threw on a housecoat, and went downstairs, catching Ginny as she was about to put a charcoaled piece of toast in her mouth.

“Stop!” Emmeline ordered. “Give that to me. Friends don’t let friend eat that sort of thing.”

Ginny laughed. “I’ve had worse.”

Emmeline took the piece of toast out of her hand and tossed it into the garbage. She poured herself a cup of the coffee that Ginny managed to make, and then pulled out a red bowl and set to work putting together the ingredients for pancakes. Ginny watched, relieved, from the other side of the counter.

“You were home late,” she prodded with a mischievous smile that would make the Cheshire cat jealous.

“I’m an idiot,” Emmeline started. “I went to tell him it was over and ‘I love you’ came out of my mouth.”

Ginny started to laugh uncontrollably. “Remind me again to never to let you become a lawyer.”

“That’s why I have you around. Can you even imagine?”

“So, did he say it back?”

“Yes,” Emmeline said, feeling her cheeks go red.

“So, am I supposed to like him now?”

“Very much.”

“Good. Do I get to meet him?”

“I hope so. We didn’t really have a chance to talk about when or how we were going to reintroduce Millie to him.”

“Mouths otherwise engaged, I take it.”

“Ginny!” Emmeline chastised her, but then confessed, “Pretty much. Did you know that Millie got into your makeup this morning?”

“Yep. Actually, I bought it for her; stage makeup. I thought perhaps it might encourage her to get more excited about being on the stage. She’s so into sparkles, makeup is the next logical progression. She told me she was going to practise putting it on this morning.”

“Practice. That she did all right,” remarked Emmeline. “And then decided to turn the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory play into a zombie play.”

Ginny snorted coffee out of her nose.

“Tell me about it!” Emmeline said. “Is Pernella up yet? She’s normally the first one up.”

“No, I haven’t seen her yet,” Ginny answered, looking slightly concerned as Millie came downstairs with her Verruca Salt costume on and her zombie makeup ready for her play practice. “Beautiful, Millie, I love it! Director Anthony would be an idiot not to change the play. Charlie and the Zombie Chocolate Factory is much more interesting.”

“Don’t encourage her!” hissed Emmeline, pulling out a frying pan to start cooking the pancakes.

“Did you see the letters on the table?” Ginny asked. She walked over to the table and picked them up, glancing through them again. “It looks like you never open your mail.”

“I saw, but I haven’t gone through them yet. Open them if you want.”

Ginny opened the letter while Millie practised her zombie grumble back and forth from one end of the kitchen to the other. “It says that you need to call this lawyer, something about your great-grandmother Emmeline’s estate.”

“But she’s been dead for years,” said Emmeline.

“I don’t know, maybe it’s a hoax. Identity theft or something like that. Either way, you need to call him first thing Monday morning.”

“Millie, breakfast is almost ready. Can you wake up Grammy Pernella?”

“Sure,” Millie said and ran off.

A few seconds later, Millie’s screams echoed through the halls. Emmeline ran to find Millie collapsed on the floor just outside Pernella’s room.

“What’s going on?”

“She can’t, she can’t…” Millie tried to say.

Ginny and Emmeline both rushed into Pernella’s room and found her half unconscious, babbling incoherently.

The ambulance came fifteen minutes later.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Pernella was conscious, but barely, as they took her away in the ambulance, lights flashing. The two ambulance attendants in their uniforms made the whole thing seem rather like business as usual while they were around the house. One did an assessment of Pernella, taking her vitals, then prepared her for the transfer to the hospital. The other grilled Emmeline and Ginny on what they knew about her condition. How they found her, what she had been like lately, anything else they should be worried about.

Guilt raked through Emmeline’s body. She didn’t know, she had thought that everything was fine. Pernella was Pernella. She didn’t complain, she just did things the way she wanted—no matter what anyone told her. Emmeline hadn’t noticed anything unusual. Just her not being up early this morning was off. But then again, she had been so busy focused on herself, what she wanted, Joel, that she hadn’t been watching Pernella. What if she could have stopped this? It was all so confusing. She hadn’t been doing her job, the entire reason why she was supposed to be there.

She and Ginny gathered up Pernella’s pills and a few other things that they knew Pernella would want and packed them in a sixties style bag with Lucite tortoiseshell handles. Emmeline was sure they were forgetting a few things, but they could always come back. It was hard to stay focused and think about the tiny details.

They watched Pernella being loaded up into the ambulance. Emmeline strained to hear if Pernella was giving the attendants crap about not needing help, telling them they should go away. She hoped she would.

The lights and commotion terrified Millie, who found refuge in Emmeline’s arms. She put her head down on her mother’s shoulder and silently shook. Emmeline sniffed and tried to console her. She took her to the bathroom, where it was quiet for a few minutes, and washed the zombie makeup off. “We don’t know what is happening yet, okay, Angel Face? I don’t want you to be scared. She is going to where the doctors can help her.”

Millie didn’t answer. Ginny went and got the keys to her car, and then opened the back door so that Emmeline could sit with Millie, who still clung to her in her arms. Lastly Ginny handed Millie her blae-blae blanket, and she immediately buried her face into the soft fabric. Emmeline couldn’t have been more grateful. Ginny always thought of everything. They pulled out of the driveway moments later and followed the ambulance to the hospital.

The emergency room parking lot was full, and they were lucky to get the last space. They grabbed everything that they had thought to bring for Pernella and rushed inside. The chairs were mostly full of downtrodden people, with red noses and blurry eyes, all waiting restlessly for their turn to be called. Emmeline went straight up to the desk and found a tiny lady with laugh lines deep around her eyes.

“We’re here to see someone who has just been brought in by ambulance.”

“Where is she?” Millie asked, pushing her mother out of the way to stand in front.

“Who are you looking for?” the lady asked. The word “Volunteer” was written above her name on the ID tag she wore.

“My Grammy Pernella,” she answered as if it was the most logical answer.

“Let me see…”

“You lost her? She’s only been here a few minutes and you already lost her? Mommy, how could they do this to us? The people who came and got her promised they’d take care of her.”

“Millie, we have to give the lady a chance,” Emmeline answered before mouthing “I’m sorry” to the volunteer.

“We haven’t lost her,” said the woman. “I just need a second to find out what room she’s in.” She looked down at her computer and started typing.

“But what if we never find her?” Millie’s bottom lip started to quiver, so Emmeline reached down and picked her up, worried she might start crying again. Millie was a little big to pick up like this, and within seconds Emmeline’s back began to protest. Millie wrapped her arms around her mother and held on tight, whispering, “They lost her, I know they did, we’ll never find her again.”

“I got it!” the volunteer said. She directed them through a wide pine door, and then down the hall.

“It should be easy to find her, but if you don’t, just ask at the nurse’s desk.”

“Thank you,” Emmeline mouthed to the nurse as she turned her attention to the next patient.

They followed the hall and turned right as they saw the familiar ambulance attendants leave a room and a woman in yellow scrubs walk in. They followed after her and introduced themselves as she took Pernella’s vitals.

“The doctor will be here in a few minutes,” she said, noting the results on an electronic tablet.

Millie struggled to get down, and Emmeline gratefully let go, stretching her back and grimacing. It wasn’t near as easy to carry Millie as it had once been.

“Just give Grammy some space, Millie.”

Millie nodded and cautiously reached out her hand to place it on Pernella’s. The doctor came in, a woman probably in her fifties with short dark hair and heavy lines around her eyes. She promised that she would update them as soon as they ran some tests. Ginny and Emmeline reluctantly left to give her room to work.

“Pernella, we love you,” Emmeline said before left. She wasn’t sure if she heard her or not.

Together they found seats and tried to make themselves comfortable. Ginny immediately got on the phone and started to call the family to let them know what was going on. Emmeline listened as Ginny consoled them, and as always was amazed at how competent she was. Emmeline longed to be like her. She still let too many small details get in the way from what she wanted. Perhaps if she didn’t she’d be well on her way to accomplishing her dreams of having her own bakery, instead of still working for Kathy.

As the hours ticked away, Millie complained she was hungry, and Emmeline absentmindedly gave her some coins for the vending machine. They watched as people came and went, some smiling, some with pain coloring their eyes. The nurses updated them from time to time, insisting that Pernella seemed to be in stable condition at the moment, but mostly they waited.

Emmeline, bored, glanced through her phone and decided to call Callum to let him know what was going on. He promised he would come as soon as he could and take Millie home. The afternoon traffic might be a problem, but he was sure he could get someone to mind the shop for a few hours. Emmeline told him he didn’t need to, but he insisted. Millie didn’t need to be there waiting.

She hung up, grateful that again Callum was coming to the rescue, but then awkwardly realized that she hadn’t even bothered to tell Joel. It didn’t seem like something for him; this was a family thing. But if she was really going to invite him to be part of her family, then perhaps he should know.

She left Millie with Ginny, volunteering to go for coffee for the two of them, and then dialed his number. It went straight to voicemail.

“Crap,” she mumbled. She didn’t want to leave this news on voicemail, but then wondered why not. He didn’t know Pernella, they hadn’t even met. He didn’t have the emotional ties. She heard the phone beep on the other end, indicating that her space for her message was used up. “Crap!” she said again, realizing that she had just left a two-minute message that only had the word “crap: in it and silence. She must sound like some sort of prank caller at best and a serial creep at worst.

Where was he? She instantly wanted Joel there. She wanted to feel his body next to hers, she wanted him to wrap his arms around her and tell her that everything would be okay. A worrying thought entered her mind: maybe he was with someone else. She immediately shoved it away as ridiculous. She knew she was the only one. Didn’t she?

Emmeline found the cafeteria, where she ordered two extra-large coffees and bought a sandwich for Millie, thinking that she couldn’t keep feeding her Kit Kat bars. She slowly headed back to the waiting room, hoping Joel would call back.

By the time she returned, Millie had made a fort out of her blae-blae and was underneath reading a Cosmopolitan magazine that looked like it was from 1982. Emmeline grimaced, wondering what sort of information she would be reading in there, terrified it would be something like How to make your lips look like a guy would actually want to kiss them, or some other article pigeon-holing woman. She snatched the magazine away and handed her the sandwich instead.

“Anything new?” she asked Ginny.

“Not yet, but—” started Ginny, and then her eyes lit up. Emmeline turned to see the doctor coming into the waiting room. She motioned for them to follow her.

The doctor led them to a small room with a plastic rose-colored couch and dim lighting.

“Well, what’s going on?” asked Ginny impatiently.

“Sit, please,” the doctor said, offering the couch and taking a wooden chair for herself. “It looks as though Pernella has had a stroke.”

Emmeline sucked a breath in. It wasn’t a surprise, but not easy to hear either.

“On the bright side, you got her to the hospital quickly. There is some damage, but we won’t know the full extent of it for a while. The thing is, though, she is not critical. I hope to be admitting her into the hospital in a few hours so that she can be transferred to one of the other floors to recover. She’s going to be just fine.”

Ginny jumped in with a pile of questions, and Emmeline started to explain to Millie what was going on so she could understand it. Emmeline’s phone rang in the middle, but she let it go to voicemail. She knew it was Joel calling back. It was all going to be okay—at least for now.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Callum came and picked up Millie, who desperately didn’t want to leave Grammy Pernella even though she was getting tired of munching on stale cafeteria sandwiches and slightly dizzy from walking around bored in a figure eight pattern. After a bit of cajoling, she admitted that she was afraid if she left, Grammy Pernella would be mad.

“You know Grammy could never be mad at you,” Callum said. “She would be annoyed if you were just sitting here when you had the option of going out and having some fun.”

Millie’s eyes were big and round and slightly damp as she silently nodded in agreement. Callum promised her McDonald’s, and Emmeline promised to call when Pernella was up to seeing people. Millie finally agreed to go without a fuss.

“Is there anything else you guys need?” Callum asked, anxiously looking around the hospital. It didn’t seem like it was his favorite place to be.

“I think we’re good. We’re just waiting until she’s stable enough for family visits; they’ve finished running all the tests,” Emmeline explained.

“Well, then, you know where to find us.” Callum hugged Emmeline, holding her close for a few extra seconds, rubbing her back. Emmeline could smell his spicy scent, and it reminded her of simpler days. As he walked out the automatic doors with Millie, her hand in his, Emmeline swore he’d been using the same soap, same cologne since high school.

Ginny stared right into Emmeline’s eyes. “You know that man is head over heels in love with you, right?”

“Callum is not in love with me. I would know if he was in love with me.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Why would you even say that?” A shot of annoyance cut through Emmeline’s voice. This conversation had quickly taken a ridiculous turn.

“Let’s look at the facts for a second, Your Honor.”

“So, you’re going to pull your lawyer tricks on me, are you?”

“I’m all but officially a lawyer, and I think this is a very worthy case. May I proceed?”

“You’re wasting your time. I know Callum.”

“Point one, has he or has he not been there practically your whole life?”

“Yes. So have you, and you’re not in love with me.”

“Point two, does he not drop everything each time you need him?”

“Mostly, maybe? He’s been amazing, especially with Millie. But he promised he would be after Nicholas died. He’s just carrying through on his promise. You don’t need to read anything into it.”

“And…?”

“And nothing. He’s just a good person, and he wants to make sure that Millie stays connected to her dad. Full stop.”

Ginny took a deep breath and rolled her eyes. Emmeline stared blankly.

“You know people don’t do what he has done without there being more to it. He loved you before you even got together with Nicholas. Everyone can see it.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Did he or did he not sabotage your relationship when you made that horrible blunder when you first asked Nicholas out?”

“He didn’t do it on purpose. The whole thing was a mess. Besides, he’s not vicious like that. He wouldn’t go out of his way to break anyone up.”

“Maybe not on purpose, not that he would admit to, but would you consider that he may have done it subconsciously to stop you two from getting together? Moving on. Next point. He flirts with you—I mean, a lot. I saw how long he held that hug, and I got nothing more than a wave.”

“Callum is a flirt. He flirts with everyone. How many girls has he gone out with? Remember in high school? You hardly saw him without his arm around someone.”

“That was high school.”

“I doubt much has changed.”

“Emmeline, when is the last time you heard him mention another girl?”

“He doesn’t talk about that stuff with me.”

“Maybe because you’re the only girl.”

A nurse came into the lobby and called out Emmeline’s name. Emmeline relaxed her shoulders. She hadn’t realized how tight she had become while Ginny was presenting her made-up case. They both stood and followed the nurse back to Pernella’s cubicle-sized room.

Pernella was pale and looked abnormally small lying on the hospital bed. Her gray curls, spread chaotically on her pillow, framed her face, which still looked like it was dropping on one side. An oxygen tube was resting in her nose, but she smiled as Ginny and Emmeline pulled back the yellow check curtain, giving her a modicum of privacy. Most importantly, although she was a little dopey, she was fully awake.

Emmeline leaned down to kiss her, and Pernella reached up her arm to hug her, exposing the intravenous drip that was inserted and then taped to her arm. A machine measuring her heartbeats and blood pressure at the side of the bed beeped softly.

“My girls,” Pernella said graciously. She held both of their hands in hers and then asked, “What the hell are you two still doing here?” Her words slurred as she spoke.

Ginny snorted. “Typical.”

“Well,” Emmeline started, “since you checked yourself into this fancy hotel, we thought we’d stick around and soak in the atmosphere.”

Pernella laughed. “I couldn’t help myself, I was in need of a holiday. Unfortunately, what they do for recreation around this joint sucks!” She coughed a little and then breathed in loudly.

“I’ll talk to the concierge for you, if you like,” volunteered Ginny.

“Please do on your way out.”

“You can’t get rid of us that easy, Pernella. We aren’t going to leave until we know you’re okay.”

“You are such a worrywart. The last thing you need to be doing is sitting here fretting about me. Where’s Millie? She needs you. What about that boy of yours?”

“Crap! I haven’t called Joel back!”

“Then go!”

“Ginny, you try and talk some sense into Pernella. I’ll call Joel and tell him what’s going on.”

Emmeline disappeared down the hall for a bit of privacy, hoping that Ginny could convince Pernella to let them do something for her. She dialed Joel’s number and he picked up on the first ring.

“Emmeline! Are you okay?” he blurted into the phone without even saying hello. Emmeline apologized for her bizarre voicemail earlier, and explained everything that had happened that day.

“What can I do? Where’s Millie? Do you need me to come and get her?”

“No, Callum has her. They skipped off to McDonald’s, and who knows where else Millie will drag him once she gets started.” Emmeline laughed a little.

“Oh,” said Joel, his voice dropping. “Is there anything else I can do?”

“I don’t think so at this point. I’m not sure Pernella is going to let us stay either. She tried to get rid of us the second we got in to see her.”

“I have to meet this woman.”

“You will, soon. I better get back.”

“You really are so strong. I don’t know how you do it. If it was my parent, I’d be a mess.”

Emmeline smiled. She hadn’t really thought of Pernella as a parent before, but in so many ways she was. She taught her a million things. She was patient and persistent, helping Emmeline in ways she didn’t even realize she was helping until so much later. So much for being the one there to take care of her. Emmeline said goodbye and went back into Pernella’s room, where she found both women sharing not so discreet comments about a male nurse who was quickly making his exit.

“I thought at least one of you would have the good sense not to hit on the staff!” Emmeline chastised her. Ginny shrugged her shoulders, and Pernella looked pretty pleased with herself.

“They won’t get mad at me. Old people get away with everything. Either they label me as cute or senile. Either way works for me. I wonder what he’d do if I called him back and asked him to bend over so I could see his butt better.”

“Senile. They are definitely going to label you as senile,” Emmeline said through her snickers.

“Is your Sugar Boy coming over?” asked Ginny.

“I told him no. He did volunteer to pick up Millie, though. That was pretty sweet.”

“Where is Millie?” Pernella asked.

“Callum came and got her.”

Ginny and Pernella exchanged a knowing look.

“What was that?” Emmeline exclaimed, placing a hand on her hip.

“That was Pernella agreeing with me that Callum loves you.”

Pernella tried unsuccessfully to cross her arms, which were attached to tubes and wires, and then nodded.

“You guys are nuts. You are mistaking his kindness for something that it’s not.”

The doctor came in, giving Emmeline a happy reprieve from their nonsense, and delivered some test results. She explained that they were officially admitting Pernella into the hospital, and they could expect her to be there for a while as she recovered and they observed her to make sure this was an isolated incident. The left side of Pernella’s body seemed sluggish to respond, and she would need some physiotherapy and would probably have some trouble walking. For how long, the doctor couldn’t be sure yet.

After the doctor left, a pair of nurses, including the male nurse Pernella was harassing earlier, came and transferred her onto a gurney they could push up to the ward where she would be staying. Pernella looked overwhelmingly tired as Ginny gathered the rest of her stuff and they followed behind.

“Hold my hand, young man,” she said. “I’m so scared.” She winked at Ginny.

“I have got the feeling that nothing scares you,” the nurse responded.

“Just humor me,” Pernella answered. “It’ll be easier on you that way.”

The nurse rolled his eyes.

Chapter Thirty-Four

With a sleepy Pernella settled into the hospital room, as comfortable as she was going to get, Ginny and Emmeline left, feeling pretty exhausted themselves. It had been a long, scary day. It was comforting to know at least Pernella was in good hands and more than likely the worst was behind them. She would recover, her body would heal, and everything could return to the way it was supposed to be.

The sight of the old farm house with the front porch lights glowing a soft yellow was a welcome relief, and Emmeline could feel her whole body relax as she got out of the car. Callum’s faithful red truck sat in the driveway. She ran her hands along the side of it, feeling a small dent here and there. She teased him from time to time about getting rid of it. In response, he would always grumble, protesting a little too much about it being pointless to get a shiny new ride when he was just going to bang it up. His work was tough on a vehicle, picking up antiques and dropping them off and hanging out at dusty auction sales, looking for new things for the shop. He still refinished furniture—it was his first love—but the shop seemed to be his bread and butter.

The real truth was that he was a sentimental kind of guy, even if he’d never admit it. Emmeline was sure not very many people would even guess how much; what he presented to the world, and who he really was, were vastly different. The truck was his dad’s, and he really missed both of his parents. Florida agreed with them too much, and these days they rarely came home.

Emmeline swung the old door to the house open and called out, saying she was home, to no response. She started to walk through the house, looking for where they were hiding, when she heard Ginny’s voice on the phone. She was calling her parents to let them know what was going on with Pernella.

Emmeline found Callum and Millie in the living room, watching the very familiar director’s cut of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with the director’s running commentary. Millie was slurping back a Coke, and her little fingers were stained orange, most likely from the empty bag of Cheezies that sat beside her. Callum softly snored.

Seeing the two of them there made Emmeline wonder for the first time if perhaps Ginny was right. She looked at Callum, his long legs propped up on the coffee table, his slightly ginger hair softly ruffled. He had a strong jaw line, and if his eyes were open, she’d be able to see their intense green, which he used to make girls fall under his spell. Ginny’s words darted through her mind. She was right; he had always been there, he had always dropped everything for her, he had flirted obsessively.

The problem was she couldn’t tell if Callum meant any of what he said, or if he was simply teasing her. If she was being brutally honest with herself, Callum was her first crush an entire lifetime ago. She had tried her best to get his attention only to end up hopelessly in the throng of sixth grade girls vying for his attention. Emmeline figured early on that she wasn’t in the running, and gave up.

It was easier to be his friend, and it had been a perfect decision. She got to chat with him, coming to know him better than any of the girls who ran in and out of his life without complicating feelings getting in the way. Besides, Emmeline had that nasty habit of making an idiot out of herself when she really liked someone. At least she was safe with Callum. He knew her better than almost anyone, and took her mix ups in stride; she didn’t need to be embarrassed around him. She watched them both for a moment, not saying anything. Millie was so absorbed in what was onscreen that Emmeline wasn’t sure she even knew she was in the room.

She leaned against the doorframe thinking about what Ginny had said. It hit her hard. Perhaps somewhere in the back of her mind she suspected, maybe, but even if his feelings had changed for her somewhere through the years, she’d no idea. Callum never said anything to her. There was no grand declaration of his feelings that she could take with any sort of seriousness. His words rang shallow in Emmeline’s ears, and “Oh Baby, you know I love you” completely lacked the sincerity she needed in order to know that something had changed.

Joel’s face flashed through her mind, and her body pricked with guilt. It was only last night that she was declaring her love for him. She did love him, right? She had said it before she even really knew what she was doing. God, it felt like an eternity ago. So much had happened. So much that she wasn’t prepared for.

I’m such an idiot, she chastised herself. It was true on so many levels. The worst thing was that she hadn’t wanted to put herself in the same position she was in when Nicholas died, completely dependent on someone else. She wasn’t even close to prepared if Pernella had dropped dead on the spot. Emmeline relied on Pernella as much as Pernella relied on her.

“Okay, everyone is up to speed, and I don’t know about you, but I could fall asleep on my feet,” Ginny said as she joined her in the living room. Then she lowered her voice, asking, “Were you watching him sleep?”

“Shhh…guys!” Millie exclaimed. “I’m working!”

“What?” Callum startled awake. “I’m here. Director feels like he’s in the midst…”

“It’s okay, Callum. I never make it through these commentaries either,” Emmeline said, crossing the room and sitting on an overstuffed mahogany and leather chair beside him.

“I promised, I did try.” He looked a little sheepish.

“If you guys are going to talk, can you please go away?” begged Millie.

“I think we’ve just been told. Let’s go to the kitchen,” Ginny suggested.

“Wait! How is Grammy doing?”

“She’ll be just fine, Angel Face.”

Millie made a small smile, and then glued her eyes back to the TV screen while the grown-ups in her life made their exit.

“Guys, I’m done. I’m going to hit the sheets,” Ginny confessed. “I want to get up early, and get to the hospital early so that the family doesn’t overwhelm Pernella. I already had to stop them from driving down right now. I think Pernella needs some rest, and besides, the nurses are probably going to be poking at her all night. I don’t imagine she’s going to take that very well at all.”

“Night, Ginny. I seriously couldn’t make it through today without you. I am so glad you were here.”

“Of course, me too.”

“Night, Ginny, I’m going to head off too. It’s a long drive.” Callum stretched out his arms and arched his back.

“You can stay, Callum. I’ll make up a bed for you.” The phone rang loudly in Emmeline’s purse. “Just give me a second.” She ran to grab it.

“Joel, we just got back. She’s going to be okay,” she said into the phone.

Callum picked up his coat as Emmeline and Joel talked.

“Wait, Callum, you don’t have to leave,” Emmeline insisted.

“Is Callum still there?” Joel asked.

“Yes. He stayed all afternoon as Millie tortured him with director’s commentaries.”

“Ha,” Joel said, not really sounding happy.

“Is everything okay?” she asked.

“I’m just sorry that you have to go through all this.” Emmeline wasn’t sure if she believed him. This was the second time he sounded weird when she mentioned Callum. He couldn’t be jealous, could he? She didn’t like the thought and brushed it away. It was good to hear his voice, soothing and calm, and she easily remembered why she said “I love you” the night before.

“Wait, Callum, I’ll be off in a second.”

“No, you talk, I need to go.”

Emmeline waved helplessly as she watched him walk out with shoulders slightly slumped, unsure if she should run after him or not. But hearing the door close quickly behind him made the decision. She talked to Joel for an hour, and then tucked herself into bed, sleep overtaking her within moments.

The next day Ginny and she took turns visiting the hospital as they’d planned. Emmeline was grateful when Ginny arranged to stay the whole week, which flew by abnormally fast. Between visits to the hospital, Emmeline’s regular work schedule, and Millie’s increasingly busy theatre schedule, she barely had a minute to spend with Joel. She felt tired, completely run off her feet. When Ginny went back to finish school, it made it so much worse. By the end of week two she was cursing her morning alarm clock and how heavy her eyelids were feeling, and the healthy homemade dinners that Emmeline prided herself on turned into fast food runs eaten in the car.

It must have been written on her face, because when she showed up to see Pernella one night after a particularly long day, Pernella made a big announcement.

“I’ve decided to move into a retirement residence. They will be releasing me soon, and I’ve lucked into finding a place that is just opening. They have everything I need to recoup the rest of the way, and they can look after me from now on. I won’t have you killing yourself.”

Emmeline’s mouth fell agape. She could tell by the tone in Pernella’s voice that the decision was final and there was no arguing with her.

“You guys can stay in the house as long as you want. Don’t worry about that. But this is what I need to do for me. My left side is regrettably weak, and it’s going to take a while to get back my mobility. I don’t intend for it to stay like that, but for now this is what I have to deal with.” Her words were still a little slurred, paced slower and more methodically than normal.

Much to Emmeline’s surprise, the arrangements really had already been made. Pernella would stay at the hospital until her room was ready at Evergreen Terraces. They would take it from there.

Emmeline was at a loss.

Chapter Thirty-Five

I should have seen this coming, Emmeline thought as she left the hospital, still struggling to process the new information. This was the last thing she had expected that morning when she left for the hospital. How could they stay at Pernella’s house when she wasn’t even living there?

The house should be sold to help Pernella with the expenses of living in a retirement home. Everyone knew those places weren’t cheap. Besides, who knew what else she’d need the money for? What if her condition worsened and she needed more intense care? The prices skyrocketed when that happened. There was still going to be the cost of a wheelchair, and other assistive devices for the bathroom—all with hefty prices. The list just went on and on.

There was no choice. Emmeline and Millie were going to have to find a new place to live. She knew this situation was temporary when she moved in, but it had been so comfortable. She wasn’t ready to leave, but she couldn’t in good conscience stay either.

The problem was, Emmeline wasn’t exactly making the big bucks at the bakery, but maybe she could swing rent along with her other bills if they pulled back a little. Not that they did too much, or spent all that much on frivolous things. At least they had a little time to figure things out. Between Ginny, Joel, and Callum, Emmeline was able to keep from panicking, and she talked endlessly with them about her options.

“By the way, have you called the lawyer’s office yet about that letter you got?” Ginny asked during a marathon brainstorming conversation on the subject.

“Not yet. I’ve had too much on my mind.”

“You really need to do that. You can’t put these things aside.”

“I’ll call them, I promise.”

They ended the call, and Emmeline checked the clock—well past operating hours, but she could leave a message anyway. It would be so much easier if the lawyer’s office was the same one Ginny’s parents ran, where Ginny would be starting out very soon. Ginny had thought about trying for one of the big law firms in the city, but decided that if she moved back to Port Hope she could finish paying off some debts from law school. She also knew that she’d have a lot more freedom to actually practise law in her parents’ firm instead of being some big shot’s coffee assistant or research monkey. Emmeline suspected there was a good chance that she would be running that office in a matter of months, and probably take over when her parents retired. It made good sense, and aligned with Ginny’s practical nature.

Emmeline rifled through a stack of papers on the kitchen table until she found the envelope she had gotten ages ago. She was slightly embarrassed that it had taken so long to call, but she couldn’t imagine that it was of any importance. She dialed the number and let the phone ring through to voicemail, leaving her name and return telephone number.

She then went and put Millie in the tub, and did a few dishes, mulling over what her options were. The main problem was she couldn’t afford the high rents in this area and still pay for Millie’s theater classes. Her after-school activities were getting more and more expensive due to Millie’s determination. Moving to a less expensive town made a lot of sense. But they had a life here, and there was Joel, who had been amazing during the past weeks of turmoil and chaos. He still hadn’t met Millie officially, but he did sneak by after Millie went to sleep, making those moments bearable. Millie hadn’t taken Pernella’s decision very well.

She and Pernella were as thick as thieves, and no matter how hard Emmeline tried to explain, Millie just couldn’t seem to make sense of the whole situation. As far as she was concerned, there should be no reason why Pernella couldn’t come home. She promised that no matter what, she would look after Pernella and her every need. The first thing Millie did when she heard that Pernella would be coming home was pull everything out of Pernella’s room, rearranging the space to make a spot for her hospital bed. Emmeline tried to stop her, she tried to explain, but Millie just cried as Emmeline sat down with her and tried to explain that this was best for Pernella, and more importantly, it was what Pernella wanted.

“You’re just happy she’s gone so that you can spend more time with Joel.” Millie exaggerated the syllable when she said his name. The anger in which she said it shocked Emmeline.

“You know that’s not true,” Emmeline said, resisting the urge to smack her across the bum. “I get that you’re having a hard time with this. So am I, but we need to do what is best for Pernella, not for us.”

“Grammy Pernella being with us is what’s best for her!”

“I wish it was, but right now it’s not. She needs to be with the doctors and nurses who know how to help someone in her condition. She needs to be where she feels comfortable, where she feels safe. She’s not gone, she is just moving, and I get that is really scary for you. But her body wants her to go on a new adventure, and Grammy is ready for it. She wants to find out about the next stage in her life, and we have to respect her decision. And if you can’t do that, then you haven’t been listening to what she has been trying to teach you for practically your entire life.” Emmeline paused. Tears were streaming down her baby’s face.

Emmeline felt awful, and yet this was something Millie needed to hear. Life never stayed the same, and just when you thought you’d got a handle on it, everything changed. That was about the only thing Emmeline felt she could count on. She had tried to shield Millie from it, to only give her what she thought she could handle, but there was nothing she could do about this, and it totally sucked. Besides, Millie needed to learn that she couldn’t control every situation, and more importantly, she couldn’t throw a temper tantrum every time she didn’t get what she wanted. Every kid had their struggles; this was Millie’s.

“Now, it’s not like we won’t see her. She’s not that far away. We can spend time with her whenever you want. We can visit, you can call her every night. She isn’t leaving forever; she is just not going to be in this house anymore.”

Millie was in a full outcry. Emmeline pulled her closer and scooped her up in her arms, then carried her over to the couch and sat down. Millie’s tears were soaking her hair. Her little body trembled. This had scared her. She was, after all, the one who found Pernella slumped half over, semiconscious on the floor, her words slurring and her face drooping unnaturally down.

“Did you think she was going to die?” Emmeline asked softly.

Millie nodded, hard. “Like Daddy.”

“Oh, my brave girl,” Emmeline said as the tears fell out of her eyes again. “No matter what, Angel Face, no matter what happens to her, you hold on to the fact Grammy loves you beyond measure. And know that even if she had died, she’d be up in heaven with Daddy, watching over you every day.”

“I miss Daddy,” Millie said.

“I do too.”

***

Six weeks to the date of her stroke, Pernella officially moved to her new home. She took it in stride, as she always did. She needed a wheelchair, but at least she could move herself in and out of it, preferably with someone around in case she fell, and go to the bathroom by herself. She still had one good hand to paint with and a mouth that worked so she could, as she said, “Give ’em hell.”

Ginny came up for the weekend to help Emmeline pack what was on Pernella’s list of wants for the retirement home.

Ginny had officially finished university, and a few days prior she had moved to her new apartment in a hundred-and-fifty-year-old house a three-minute walk from Port Hope’s downtown. She lived in the divided Victorian’s old servant’s quarters and had the luxury of her own entrance, making it the most private.

“You’ll never believe it,” Ginny said as they sorted through Pernella’s room. “Nothing has changed there; everyone is the same. I swear they still have the same haircuts and clothes as high school.”

“Beauty of a small town,” Emmeline said. She missed it there some days. Oakville was a city, very busy and always changing.

“Did you ever look into that letter about your grandmother’s estate?”

“I called and left a message, and we’ve been playing telephone tag ever since.”

“Go and get it for me, please.”

Emmeline went into the kitchen and riffled through a pile of disorganized papers, looking for the letter she had cast aside weeks before.

“Here it is.” She came back and handed it to her friend and newly minted lawyer.

“Give me a minute,” Ginny said. She pulled out her cell phone and stepped out of the room, leaving Emmeline sorting through Pernella’s decidedly racy underwear drawer. A few minutes later Ginny returned with an amused smile on her face. Emmeline pulled out a leather bustier and held it up.

“Not exactly sure what this is for?” she said, making a face.

“Only Pernella! I’m not sure I own anything that sexy. Not that I have anyone to wear it for right now. Speaking of which, how is Sugar Boy doing?”

Emmeline beamed. “He’s amazing. He’s away right now. Work takes him to so many amazing places. He’s in France. Can you imagine France? He keeps sending me all these pictures. I wish I was there with him.”

“Are you missing a little boyfriend time?” Ginny winked.

“Hush!”

“I can just see you traipsing along the French countryside, eating baguettes and pink cloud meringues the size of your head.”

“Don’t tempt me! Like that is even a possibility. I just get to watch and dream.”

“There’s hope for us yet. Anyway, I just talked to Ron at the law office and he said—oh, I hope you don’t mind, I told him I was your lawyer.”

Emmeline nodded.

“He said that you are the proud owner of some prime real estate in downtown Port Hope. Congratulations.”

“How is that even possible?” Emmeline asked. This was about the last thing she thought would come out of Ginny’s mouth.

“Your grandmother Emmeline left a building in trust to the Port Hope Historical Society. They had free use and control for a period of fifty years. When their time was up, the control and ownership was to be reverted back to the family, and specifically, to the current reigning Emmeline. That means you. If there was no Emmeline, then official ownership would revert permanently to the Historical Society. I guess that was one way she could ensure that her name was passed on.”

Emmeline stopped stuffing clothes into the suitcase and sat down on the bed. “I always knew there were supposed to be some benefits to being named after my grandmother, but I’m not sure I actually believed it was true.”

“Seems as though it is. The Historical Society has already officially vacated the premises. I guess they’ve been preparing for years for this eventuality and purchased property just outside the town to turn into a proper museum. The president of the Historical Society is as pleased as punch to finally be able to put his Allis Chalmers on display permanently.”

“What’s an Allis Chalmers?”

“No idea, but Ron seemed to be into this whole idea. He went on and on about it.”

“So, that means…”

“That you have a full building in downtown Port Hope, all yours, vacant and ready to be moved into.”

Emmeline was speechless.

“What’s going on?” Millie asked. “And what the heck is that?” She pointed to the leather garment on the bed.

“Those are Grammy’s pantaloons,” answered Ginny dryly.

Millie made a face. “What’s wrong with her?” she asked Ginny, pointing at her mom.

“She just won the lottery,” Ginny answered.

Millie made another face at her Auntie Ginny.

“No, really, she just inherited some property downtown. I think she is in shock.”

“What do we do with that?” asked Millie.

“I have no idea,” said Emmeline.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Emmeline went to the airport to pick Joel up; she could hardly wait. He’d been gone for almost two weeks, and so much had happened in that time. So much to catch up on, so much missed kissing time. They messaged each other regularly, but it wasn’t the same. Besides, she wanted to tell him the news about the building in Port Hope.

Despite her excitement, the thought made her stomach clench, rolling in knots whenever she thought about it for too long. She couldn’t decide what to do, and she wanted to talk it over with him. In her heart, what she really wanted was to take Millie and move back to Port Hope to open the bakery she had always dreamed of. She imagined it: hot pink with a black awning, with tiered cakes and towers made of cream puffs covered in spun sugar. Cupcakes, napoleons, and double fudge brownies, in clear glass casings. Her in a pink fifties style apron and sleek black tablecloths on French bistro tables. She could even see some of Pernella’s artwork on the walls. The more she dreamed about it, the more real it became.

Yet with Joel coming home, the idea somehow became foggy. What if he hated her plan? She remembered what it was like when she almost lost him before, and she wasn’t interested in going through that again. There was Millie too. She was settled here, had her theater group and people she loved. Whatever Emmeline decided, it would change her life forever.

There was always the possibility of selling the building and trying to open something in Oakville, near where they lived, but even thinking of selling a building that had been in her family for so long seemed wrong. Besides, she could never afford to rent, let alone buy a building in downtown Oakville. The rent there was at least three times what it was in Port Hope, and she hoped since she owned the building, she could use it as collateral against the loan she would need to renovate and turn it into the place she wanted it to be.

There was also the matter of living in Pernella’s home without her. Emmeline felt like it was time for her and Millie to move on. Joel was the only thing holding her back.

It was almost impossible to make a decision. Her dream job versus her dreamy guy.

She had talked about it extensively with Callum, who very plainly said that if Joel was the guy, then Joel wouldn’t care where she was, he would find a way to be with her. Callum insisted that was what he would do. That made Emmeline feel a little better, and yet, this was going to be a major change in their fledgling relationship. It had only been six months. Six glorious months—other than the few weeks here and there that he was traveling, where she missed Joel dreadfully.

The loudspeaker at the airport announced the arrival of Joel’s plane and her heart jumped. He would be there soon, and she would tell him. She had got up at six just to get herself ready, wearing a short, flowered sundress and nude heels. She had taken the time to curl her hair and actually had makeup on. Normally, he took a cab home from these trips, but Emmeline had volunteered to come and get him since she desperately wanted to talk to him.

About twenty minutes later, among a throng of people coming out of the doors after customs, she saw Joel, his pack thrown over his back and wearing his leather jacket. He saw her and grinned, then threw down his bag, running to her side. He planted a kiss on her that provoked the usual longing she felt for him between her thighs.

It took a few moments for her to catch her breath. She missed that, and if there weren’t a hundred other people standing around gawking at them, she might have been tempted to take it a bit farther.

“I missed you,” he said, running his hands through her hair. “It’s so much better to see your face than some taxi guy’s.”

“I missed you too,” she said softly. I felt so good to be back in his arms. “Let’s get out of here.”

He put his arm around her waist and they walked out to where she had parked the car. Leaning against it, they had a proper hello without the prying eyes of the rest of the airport.

“You could kiss me for a hundred years, and I’d still never want to stop,” he said, pushing Emmeline’s hair out of her eyes. He caressed her cheek, and then pulled her in to kiss her again.

“I think you just hate it when I wear lipstick,” she teased, trying to be funny, but breaking the mood. She mentally kicked herself.

“You could wear a paper bag and I wouldn’t care. Although I must admit, I do love it when you wear a skirt.” He slid his hand along her thigh and up under her skirt, squeezing her bum. Her skin shivered, and she sighed softly.

His hands always knew exactly where to touch her, like he was reading her mind. Most of the time she loved it, but not when she had something she really wanted to talk to him about. Yet here she was, like putty in his hands, and his fingers trailed along her thigh, threatening to touch her a little higher up.

A car drove by and she straightened up a little. Public displays of affection weren’t exactly her thing, and he knew it. He dropped his arms and said, “Why don’t we get out of here?”

“Sure.”

Joel threw his bag in the back of the trunk, then climbed into the passenger’s side seat.

“I have something to run by you,” he said. His eyes danced with excitement.

“What’s up?” she said, grateful that she didn’t have to tell him her news yet. She was so excited, and yet part of her was still worried about how he would react.

“While I was away, my editor sent me an email. He wants me to write a book.”

“Really? That sounds amazing. I know it’s always been a dream of yours.”

“It has. It’s like a dream. He wants our company to be the next mega travel resource or something like that. His idea is to have travel advice and mix it with a real story.”

This was huge. She had listened to him talk for hours about wanting to see his name in print, not just on the blog. A surge of pride filled her body as she watched his hands wildly animate his ideas and excitement.

“There’s one catch,” he said, stopping abruptly.

“What’s that?”

“He is planning for me to be on the road for a year.”

Emmeline’s heart sank. A year, a whole year! That made her guilt over wanting to move to the other side of the city seem pitiful. She had almost decided against the move a couple of times because of him, but he looked as though he couldn’t wait to leave. That stung. How could he be so excited to leave for an entire year?

The idea that perhaps this was the way he would to break up with her paralyzed her mind. Finally, the second shoe was going to drop.

“A whole year…” the words caught in her throat. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to react. He was sitting there smiling, telling her that he was leaving for an entire year.

“Oh my goodness, you look like you’re about to cry,” he said.

She couldn’t help it. A tear slipped out of her eyes and trailed down her cheek. “It’s just that it’s a whole year. A whole year without you! I can barely stand it when you’re away for a few weeks.”

He chuckled.

“Great, now you’re laughing at me. How can you be so mean? I thought we really had something. If you’re planning on breaking up with me, the least you can do is to tell me and not sit there laughing at me.” She could feel her cheeks burn.

“I can’t stand it when you’re mad at me. Will you just let me tell you the best part?”

“So now I talk too much?” That was totally unlike her, but she was mad. How dare he drop this bomb on her and think that it was okay?

“No, stop.” He was starting to get frustrated too. “This isn’t the way this was supposed to go. I have something for you.” He got out of the car and rifled around in his bag.

It was wrapped in a white paper bag, crushed from being inside his carry-on. The word “Versailles” had been stamped into the front with a sticker.

“So a present is supposed to make it better? ‘I’m off for a year, but hey, I bought you something.’” She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth, but she couldn’t take them back. She never thought he would agree to something like this and be so happy about it. Maybe she didn’t know him at all.

“Just open it, please. I was trying to be romantic.” His steel blue eyes pleaded with her.

Emmeline pulled out one of the two packages in the bag, wrapped in silver paper. She eyed it suspiciously, and then looked to him for clues. She slid her finger underneath the tape and opened the end. Out slid a hand-sized object wrapped in tissue paper.

“What is this?” she asked.

“Keep going.”

She opened the tissue paper. Inside was a passport holder, blue with the French fleur-de-lys embossed on the front.

“What’s this for? I don’t even have a passport.” None of this made any sense.

“I want you to come with me, you and Millie, for the year. We can travel, see the world. I don’t want to do this without you. I want you by my side the day we step onto the plane. Besides, with things so up in the air with Pernella and you wanting to move, this is the best time to do it.”

Emmeline was without words. Travel never seemed like a possibility. She couldn’t believe that she gave him such a hard time.

“What do you say?”

“I, well, I don’t know! This is so much—it never—wow, really?” She took a deep breath. It was so much to take in. “When do you leave?” she asked.

“I am hoping we leave in six weeks.”

That meant sometime in June. Her mind was racing. Millie would miss the last month of school, and then what about next year?

“I think I need to think about it. There’s too much to figure out.”

“Don’t think about it. Just come. Take a chance with me. I want to walk along the beaches of Spain holding your hand. I want to see the sunset from the top of the Eiffel tower. I want to shop in the spice markets of India with you, and fall asleep with you in my arms as we take the train through Italy.”

“It sounds perfect.” The practicalities of her daily life were floating away. “Yes! Let’s do this!”

“Really!” He swept her up in his arms, and they kissed a kiss filled with excitement and passion, a kiss full of dreams and possibilities.

“Yes, I want to go,” she said again, and yet something ate at the pit of her stomach. She was literally being given the world, but all of a sudden, it gave her indigestion.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

The afternoon disappeared in a haze of excitement as they sat talking about all the places they wanted to go. Joel explained that his boss had already worked out most of the details for the trip. The gig had been scheduled for one of Joel’s co-workers, who backed out because he found out his wife was expecting, and she was having a terrible time. Her morning sickness was something out of a horror story, and there was no way he could leave her. He had asked for an extension, but everything was booked, and there was a timeline to keep. That’s when they approached Joel as a replacement, giving him credit for always jumping at the chance to do more and pleased with his engaging writing style. The fact that his videos had done better than any of them imagined was an added bonus.

“They said I was smart, imaginative, and incredibly handsome.” He looked more than pleased with himself.

“You added that last part in yourself, didn’t you?” Emmeline asked slyly.

“Perhaps. You have to admit that it’s all true, though.” He puffed out his chest like a rooster on display.

“You got me there.” She leaned in for a soft kiss.

They were sitting in a coffee shop not far from Emmeline’s house, talking through all the particulars of their dream trip. Joel looked so happy explaining how he had been asked over a video conference call in a small town in France. How he had jumped at the opportunity to do it right away. Best of all, he had been able to figure out how to bring Emmeline and Millie along with him so that they didn’t need to be apart. It was the solution to everything, he said over and over.

“You still haven’t told me what is the book going to be about.” There were so many details that she was curious to know. This whole thing seemed incredible. It had overwhelmed her, and she responded without thinking, floating away in the excitement. She was trying to get everything set in her mind now. Getting carried away in the moment was a habit that she was trying to break. So far, she hadn’t had much luck, and she needed to think through it all rationally. Ask the right questions. She wondered if this new project was going to be an extension of the current project he was working on.

For the past few weeks, he had been hitting many of the popular tourist spots in France and sitting down in their cafeterias to eat. It had been bugging him for years, how these tourist attractions could pride themselves on their culture, their history, their prestige, and then you sit down to eat horrid food amongst their treasures for twice what it would cost outside the hallowed walls. At one place, he had bought two drinks, a lemon pie, and cinnamon bun, and it cost almost $28 once he had done the money conversion. Frankly, they were dry and tasteless, and in the end, he dumped most of it in the trash.

So far no one Joel knew had taken up the mantle and tried to make these places see what a disservice they were doing themselves. It was a fight he believed in. He always wondered, why ruin a beautiful day with crappy food?

“Food matters,” he said. “It’s what people remember. It’s a serious let down when you finally get the chance to go up the Eiffel Tower and in the end, all you remember is the stale cookie you ate that cost ten bucks! It ruins the romance of it all. But you haven’t heard the best part, and why your coming along fits so well. You will be my official test subject.”

Emmeline narrowed her eyes and bit her lip, wondering what he could mean by that. Joel laughed heartily at her response, making her pout.

“Give me a chance, okay, before you go running away. I promise it isn’t going to be that bad.”

“It better be good.” A million possibilities flashed through her mind. She stopped briefly at the one where Joel ate food off of her and blushed.

“We’ll be touring around Europe and India on a quest to find the perfect date night experience in many of the major towns. Believe it or not, we will be forced to dine in romantic restaurants, and have it all paid for by my company. We will be visiting museums, theaters, and iconic attractions, and you get to tell me what you like the best. What makes you swoon. That’s the proper word, right?”

“Yes, I think it is! I’m pretty sure I swoon when you walk in the door. I seem to lose my head!”

“That means I’m doing my job.” He reached under the table and put his hand on her leg, sending shivers through her whole body.

“You’re distracting me.” He pushed his fingers a little higher on her leg, making her giggle. “Stop, you. I want to know more about this trip.”

“You are going to be instrumental, the centre of everything. I think we’ll really need a girl’s opinion to make this work and be a reliable travel guide. I even tried to get them to pay you a little for coming along, but they said no. They will, however, cover your travel expenses, and I can work on taking care of Millie’s with the advance I’m getting. This way I can use pictures and videos of us on our dates to keep up the blog while I’m writing the book.”

“Wow, that’s incredible—and a lot to take in.” She took a deep breath. She didn’t realize until that second that everything they did for the whole year would be put on display for everyone. Giving her opinion from time to time was one thing; this was more. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to be that much a part of the book. Talking about food would be easy, but her romance experience had been limited. What if what she thought was fabulous made everyone else gag? The idea was intimidating and exciting.

Joel’s enthusiasm for the project however, was contagious. It was a dream that most people would jump at. Her bakery, the pink awnings and French bistro tables, dashed through her mind. She hadn’t even told him yet. She didn’t know how to. Maybe she should keep it to herself. She needed time, time to consider everything, and she didn’t want to take the wind out of his sails when it was probably just her insecurity. The bakery idea would always be there, right?

“I know, but it’s perfect. I can just picture the two of us eating dinner, watching the sunset, seeing every major site. I can’t believe it’s actually going to happen,” Joel said, finishing his expresso.

“The three of us,” Emmeline corrected.

“Of course, that’s what I said.”

Emmeline grunted. It was a slip of the tongue, she was sure. “Millie—you haven’t even met Millie. Not really, anyway. I should have made sure that you guys met before you left. This is going to be a real shock for her.”

“I know, but think of the opportunity for her. I always dreamed of traveling when I was younger; this is a chance of a lifetime. Think of everything she’ll get to see. There can’t be any better geography or history lesson than to visit the places where history happened, to touch it, to breathe it in. We’ll be in a new city every few days. It doesn’t get any more exciting than that.”

A new city every few days, she thought to herself. I wonder how this is going to work? Emmeline had never traveled much, just around the province and a family road trip to Florida. Her parents had argued for most of the drive, while Emmeline hid in the back seat reading a book with a blanket covering her head.

She targeted Joel with a barrage of questions, all the time trying to keep in mind what Ginny would ask. Where would they stay? How many cities? Could they leave a little later, after she got Pernella good and settled? Would he spend some time with Millie before they left? She even went as far as asking the horrible, never-want-to-think-about-it question: what would happen if they broke up while they were away?

“Why would you even ask me that? Are you thinking that’s a possibility?” Joel looked hurt.

Emmeline stumbled over her words, feeling guilty. “No, it’s just, well, just, if it did happen.”

Joel snorted.

“What I mean,” Emmeline began again, “is if we broke up, I don’t have just me to worry about. I have Millie too, and if we break up while in some foreign country, what do I do? I mean, I’m trusting you with everything.”

“You know me. And if, God forbid, while we are on our incredibly romantic trip, where I am doing my best to be your own personal Casanova, we did break up, I’d send you guys back here. I’d never leave you stranded. Emmeline, I promise, this will be the best experience for all of us.” He reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “Emmeline Hope, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Emmeline smiled, feeling a little more reassured. She glanced down at her watch. “Look at the time! I have to go and get Millie from school.”

She sucked back the rest of her coffee and sped over to Joel’s house to drop him off before going to get Millie. He needed to unpack and shower from his trip, and she needed to start preparing Millie. As she drove to the school, she started to make a mental list of what she needed to do: passports, information about homeschooling, get Pernella’s house ready to be sold, put their stuff in storage, tell Callum. That last point lingered in her mind. Millie would miss him for sure, and so would she.

“Damn Ginny for putting nonsense in my head! It’s making me doubt what I know for a fact!” she grumbled out loud as she pulled into a free parking space by the school. Parents were already walking back with their kids and helping them into the cars around her. She was late, but not by much. All Emmeline could think was, I hope Millie had a good day at school, and is ready for some life-changing news.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Emmeline drove into the school parking lot practically in a daze, thinking about all the places they would visit—places she had never imagined in her wildest dreams that she would ever have a chance to go to, especially after she had Millie so young. The air felt different, and she practically floated to the back of the schoolyard where Millie was waiting for her in a throng of hundreds of kids running every which way as they waited to be picked up. Emmeline hardly saw them darting in front of her, focusing in on her kid, the lucky one, the one who wouldn’t be there next year. Instead, she would be hopping the train to Brussels, or building sandcastles on an exotic beach in Spain.

Millie came running up to her and started babbling a about her day, clearly frustrated. “The teacher totally messed up today. She said that we were going to sit outside and do our math work. I told him that we couldn’t, we didn’t have desks to sit at out there, and then we’d have to lie in the grass. Then our books would get covered in dirt and ants and then we’d bring them back into the school. Then the janitor would be mad. Remember when he freaked out about the sparkles? So, he said that we had to go outside, it was good for us, and I said that if he wasn’t so worried about the school rules, then why should we be? That’s when all the kids in the class started chanting, ‘Cheese, cheese, cheese.’ Mommy, I hate that word. Why do they always say cheese? I swear I am never eating cheese again for as long as I live. It doesn’t even mean anything. One kid just said it one day and now they all say it non-stop for no reason.”

“Millie, I don’t think that going outside on a nice day to have class and gluing sparkles to your desk is the same thing.”

“Mommy, we either need to follow the rules or we don’t. If we don’t need to follow the rules, then fine. You just can’t go switching things around just to make one person happy.”

Reality was hitting Emmeline like a brick wall. She took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. Why did it have to be today that Millie had a bad day?

Millie went on as they walked slowly to the car.

“But sweetie, sometimes we can change things up so that we can have new experiences. New experiences are what make life interesting, don’t you think?” Emmeline asked, hoping her words would get through.

“It sounds to me that the teacher has no respect for the janitor.”

“Millie, try to have an open mind. You don’t want to miss out on stuff just because it doesn’t fit in with your little box of what you want to happen.”

“You sound like my teacher.” Emmeline could tell Millie was really starting to get angry again. The tips of her ears were turning pink and her lips pursed tightly together. There was no talking to her when she was like this.

Millie continued, but Emmeline just nodded. She needed to come up with a way to explain this whole thing in a way that Millie would understand, especially when they were leaving so soon. If only there were a few more weeks. She needed time to prepare her daughter, she needed time to get things together. Time was the one thing she didn’t have.

“Let’s just get into the car,” she said, defeated. “You have theater class tonight, and we don’t want to be late.”

When Emmeline had parked the car, she had intended to tell Millie right away, and yet now that she was out of the cloud of Joel’s enthusiasm and heady scent, she realized that she needed to really think this through. She wished that she hadn’t said yes so fast. After all these years, she still hadn’t learned to stop and think before things flew out of her mouth that she regretted.

They hopped into the car and drove to a fast food restaurant so Emmeline could get Millie something to eat. After spending the whole afternoon with Joel, she didn’t have time to make her a snack before Millie was off to her theater group. Millie was thrilled with the treat, and it helped to lighten her mood as she munched down on her unexpected hamburger happily in the back seat of the car. In between mouthfuls, she rambled on about the play and what they were working on next. Director Anthony had turned her zombie idea for the play down flat, but he did finally agree that she had enough creative ideas that he would think about something she could do.

She dropped Millie off at the theater and watched her jump onto the stage. Emmeline waved to Director Anthony, and then decided to take a walk down along the beach. That was only a few minutes’ drive away, and it would give her a bit of time to think.

The beach was quiet. Only a few people walked dogs along the boardwalk, and she could hear the laughter of children racing up and down on the playground. It wouldn’t matter if a thousand people were there; Emmeline probably wouldn’t have noticed. Her mind was racing.

Maybe it would be good for Millie? She’s so stuck in her ways that a little shake up could make her a bit more adaptable. It might also shake her to the core. She isn’t one of those kids that can just pick up and do whatever. Even as a baby she needed a tight schedule or she would just cry and cry. What am I asking Millie to do?

Waves crashed onto the shore, and the smell of water hit her nostrils and filled her soul with melancholy. The clouds were thick overhead, and the air was humid. She walked along the boardwalk for a few minutes, and then decided to take her shoes off and jump over the edge into the sand. It was cool. She sank down and wiggled her toes into the sand.

She approached the water. The rhythm of the waves whispered to her, “Go,” and then retreated with a distinct “stay,” confusing her more than ever.

She put her toes in the water, the waves rushing over her heels. It was still frightfully cold, and yet she couldn’t resist the urge to walk in a bit further. She was grateful for the short, flowered skirt she wore, the one that Joel had loved so much. She remembered the feeling of him reaching up under it, caressing her skin, gently running his fingers along the outline of her lace thong. Her body involuntarily shuddered at the memory. Her pull to him was intense. It was like nothing she had ever experienced before. The touch of his lips nibbling on her neck, the way he pressed his body close to hers, it was an addiction.

The question was, now that she finally had a way to make her own dream real, could she put that aside? She cursed her brain for being so foggy. He put a spell on her, one that held so tight that even the icy water numbing her toes had a hard time washing it away.

She tried to break it down simply—without the feelings, just the facts—hoping that would make it easier on her. The reality was she would be responsible for teaching Millie for a year by herself. Did she feel up to the challenge? Not really.

Would Millie handle the moving and changing all the time well? Emmeline knew in her heart she wouldn’t. There was just no way.

“Frig!” she shouted at the water. Tears started pouring down her face as the war between her head and her heart waged on. Why did life have to be so hard?

She envisioned her bakery, her beautiful pink imaginary bakery. If she put it off for Joel now, what were the chances that she could or would do it when they got back?

What if he got another book? He was so talented, she could see that happening. Everyone would want it. His concept was alluring—every girl would want to go on these dates, and every guy would then have a Coles notes for the most romantic things to do. There was no way it wouldn’t work.

She thought back to the fire and ice roses that he had sent her after their first date to the bakery. White ones with blood red tips, each perfectly picked out with its pristine blossom. That was exactly what their relationship was like. With the intensity of the colors, the clashing images of purity and fire. They were meant to have met, they were meant to be together. But how long can fire burn?

Her head knew the answer. Her heart wasn’t listening.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

“Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!” Millie screamed as Emmeline picked her up from her theater practice. There were times that she really did seem her age, like right now when this pint-sized, screaming kid skipping half the steps down the front of the stage.

“What?” Emmeline asked, signaling with her hands for Millie to slow down.

“Mommy!”

“Millie!”

“He’s going to let me do it! Act one, scene two, is mine to direct! He said since I was doing a good job and since I was the only one who knows all their lines—but let’s face it, I know everyone’s lines—and because I am not in the first act, then I get to direct it. As long as I promise that I will not put any zombies in it, and I have to promise to pass any major changes by him first. And he told everyone that they have to listen to me, or else. Well, I added the ‘or else’ part, but still he agreed. So, this is it! I am officially a director!”

Emmeline glanced at Anthony, who nodded, smiling. Emmeline had wondered how long he was going to hold out. But Millie had proven herself.

Emmeline was filled with pride. Yet she knew that this was the nail in the coffin of Joel’s dream trip. The play was supposed to be performed at the end of August. They would be well on their trip by then. A life that seemed so possible only a few hours ago was evaporating in front of her. Tears stung the corners of her eyes. She squeezed them shut and plastered an oversized smile on her face, trying to hide the pain she felt. She was so proud of Millie. She had worked for months on this, and now she had got what she wanted. If only the same would work for Emmeline.

But she could have her bakery. For a moment she resented it for keeping her from a life with Joel. But her dreams needed to mean something too, she justified. If only she could decide which dream meant more to her. Could they join him after the play? That would give her more time to get things together. She could rent out the building, and it would give them some money while they traveled.

“Ahhh!” She stopped herself from thinking and tried to concentrate on the little ball of bouncing energy in front of her.

Anthony came over and explained how everything would happen and what Millie’s new responsibilities would be. She would need to be all the practices not just the ones her scenes were in. He had decided that if Millie was so determined to direct, then she needed to learn how to do everything. He wanted her to shadow him, so even if she wasn’t in charge of a scene, he still wanted her there.

Millie stood beside her mom, grinning. Even though she had heard these words earlier, Millie was still as excited the second time around. How could Emmeline say no? She thanked Anthony, who seemed entirely amused with the whole situation, and probably more than a little relieved not to have to fight with Millie all the time.

They waved goodbye, and Director Anthony called after Millie, “And remember, no zombies!”

Millie shrugged her shoulders, making no promises.

They jumped in the car and headed home. After her bath and stories, Millie was in bed, and Emmeline hopped into a hot shower herself. She collapsed on the floor of the tub in a sobbing mess, her tears pouring down the drain as fast as the hot water that was almost scalding her skin. She turned the water off and lay in the tub, unmoving in the steam the water left. She didn’t want to move. She was twenty-three, and she had been through two serious relationships. One was ripped out of her grasp, and now, when she thought she had finally found happiness, she had to let him go. Too many tears for someone so young.

She was exhausted. She had told Joel she would call him before she went to bed, but she couldn’t bring herself to talk to him. Not yet. If she didn’t talk to him they were still together. He wasn’t leaving on a dream trip without her. She wasn’t going to have to stay behind and take on something that she was terrified to do alone. Things would stay just as they were. As long as she didn’t talk to him. Words were the very enemy, and she vowed not to say anything ever again.

She missed Pernella. On nights like this, when she was overwhelmed with life, Pernella would have done or said something that would have brought her out of it. Pernella never felt sorry for herself.

Emmeline remembered when they were out chasing the goats that insisted on jumping out of their pen and running around the yard. It was spring time. The grass was wet and had in many places turned into slippery mud. The next door neighbours were screaming that if one more goat made it into their yard they were going to call animal control. They were stuffy, funny people who had thought that everyone should live according to a strict code of sameness. Pernella regularly chastised them for being boring, and dared them to live a little.

Chaos was breaking out, and all of a sudden Pernella started asking who in their right minds would start a fire in the middle of the town. Didn’t they know that broke fire regulations? They came around to the back of the house only to find the little building that housed the freezer had flames shooting out of it.

Emmeline had screamed, but Pernella casually picked up the garden hose and started spraying at the fire. Emmeline frantically grabbed Millie, ran inside with her on her hip, and called the fire department. She ran back out to find the flames virtually gone, but smoke still poured out of the house.

Emmeline told Pernella the fire department was on their way, and then watched as she went back inside and calmly picked up her camera. She walked all around the house, taking pictures, politely ignoring Emmeline’s pleas for her to get out, it wasn’t safe.

“But what if the house goes up in flames? I need the insurance company to see all the stuff I would have lost,” Pernella had said plainly.

“That’s my point! The house could go up in flames any second now. What if the fire is between the walls?”

“Then you go out with Millie where you’re safe. I might take Uncle Aaron’s ashes with me,” she said as she opened up the bottom of a cabinet. Emmeline made a face, realising for the first time what was in that jar. “Or if he’s already ashes, do you think it matters?”

Knowing there was nothing she could do to change her mind, Emmeline just shook her head and went down the driveway with Millie to wait for the fire truck.

When the fire department finally came, they sprayed down the house. Meanwhile, Pernella started to complain that she was thirsty, and pushed until Emmeline went down to the coffee shop for a cup of tea for her. She was so calm, and Emmeline was trying so hard just to keep it together. It wasn’t even her house. On that day she knew what Pernella was made of. She wished she had some of that in her. Maybe then she wouldn’t be sobbing hysterically naked in a tub over a boy.

Not just any boy, her Sugar Boy.

She needed to pull herself together. She was going to channel Pernella. She had lived with her for years; she must have picked up something, if only by osmosis.

Emmeline got out of the tub and wrapped herself up in a towel. If she was going to have to give up Joel, because she knew deep down that this wasn’t going to be the best decision for her daughter’s future or hers, then she better damn well have a plan, something concrete for herself to focus her attention.

She stayed up the next four hours, for the first time planning her bakery in detail on paper. She pulled out the building plans that the lawyer had sent out to her earlier. She laid them on the table. Next, she cut pieces of paper representing tables and chairs, her till, and the glass case. She arranged them until she was happy and took pictures of what it looked like. She went to the computer and looked up pictures of bakeries around the world, printing out all the ones she liked. She found a binder and stuck them all in together.

By the time she went to bed, she finally had a clear vision of what she wanted. She had a sample timeline, which she knew would probably have to change, but it made her feel better. She knew that this was going to be right for her. The world could wait for her to travel, but her dreams, her bakery, were now what was most important.

The only thing left to do was to tell Joel. She would have to do it the next day. She didn’t want to be mean; she needed to tell him as soon as possible. She needed to be strong. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him, but they were at crossed paths and it needed clear, level-headed thinking. She wasn’t going to let him talk her out of it.

How bad was this going to be?

Chapter Forty

Emmeline was a ball of jitters when she woke up from her restless night. Sick to her stomach, she even cursed herself for starting the relationship to begin with. By noon she had changed her mind. She was going to make it work with Joel. By three, she was steadfast in her decision to stay behind and open up her bakery. She was happy to be at work, pounding out her frustration in bread dough and drowning her tears and frustrations in brownies. Kathy could see that something was wrong, but didn’t press, steering clear of Emmeline for the rest of the day.

When Emmeline picked Millie up from school, even Millie could tell that something was up, and stared at her mother for minutes on end trying to figure it out. Emmeline was so distracted that she didn’t even mind when Millie refused to eat her dinner, but fifteen minutes later dove into a bag of Cheesies while they stuck The Princess Bride in the Blu-ray player for the evening. It was one of Millie’s favorites, and something familiar felt good to watch, until Princess Buttercup was separated from her true love. Her determination to stay with Westley, despite all consequences, made Emmeline feel all the worse. She kept checking the clock, waiting. Joel was going to come over around nine. Millie would be in bed, and they could talk in peace.

If she could freeze time right there, she would. Not another second. Then there would be no disappointments, no lost dreams, no goodbyes.

Emmeline and Millie watched the rest of the movie, Millie interrupting here and there to ask questions or commenting on this or that. Emmeline tried her best to stay engaged. Around eight thirty, she sent Millie to bed, and then she waited on the couch, not reading the book in her hands, until she heard the doorbell ring.

She opened the door for him and he scooped her up in his arms, kissing her madly. She pulled back, and he could immediately tell something was up.

“Ah, crap!” he said, blinking rapidly. “You’re not coming, are you?”

A flood of tears streamed down her face. “I can’t, I just can’t. You have no idea how much I want to. What a dream. That is what I was swept up into yesterday. A dream. But when I had a chance to actually figure out the logistics, it can’t work. I’m so sorry.”

“But it can. You can’t overthink it. We can do whatever we want.”

“That’s the problem. You can do whatever you want. But I have Millie to worry about—what’s best for her? I know her; she won’t handle living out of a suitcase, never knowing where we’re going next, and for so long. A week or two perhaps, but what we’re talking about is a whole year—maybe more depending on how things go. Besides, I can’t ask you to be financially responsible for the two of us. It’s not fair to you.”

“That is my choice.” A slight edge was introduced to his voice. “I want you to come, both of you.”

“And there’s something else.”

“That you’re going to have to explain, and it better be a damn good reason,” he said, his eyes narrowing

“I think it is,” she pleaded.

“Don’t you understand how hard I made this work for us? I’ll seem like an idiot in front of my boss.”

Emmeline took a deep breath as she led him into the Wedgewood blue dining room. The table was covered in the papers and pictures she had collected last night.

“Sit down,” she said, offering him a chair.

“What is this?” Joel started to pick up some of the papers. He glanced at a hastily drawn image of a bakery storefront titled Option Eight and dropped it casually back on the table.

Emmeline started telling him about everything. About Pernella, and how she had said they could stay. About how Ginny had found the letter, and that she had totally forgot about it when Pernella had got sick. About how Joel had always talked about following your dreams. She had listened to his words. About her grandmother, and the Emmeline name legacy. She told him the details about the building and its location. Then she showed him the plans she worked up, the pictures of how she wanted it to look like, and told him how Ginny had volunteered to help her to find the rest of the money she needed to open the place. Lastly, she talked about Millie, and how she finally got a chance to direct a part of her play, and how she couldn’t take that away from her. It wouldn’t be fair. She talked about how she felt she couldn’t be an effective school teacher for Millie; she didn’t have the patience or even the first idea of how to do that. Millie was always so much farther ahead than she thought she was, and Emmeline constantly felt like she needed to keep up.

Finally, when she had finished, he said, “Well, shit.”

“Beautiful words, coming from a writer!” she teased and then wondered if now was the time for such jokes.

“This looks great, but I don’t see why it all won’t wait until we get back. Come with me now, and you can open up the bakery later,” he said. He put her arms around her and pulled her close.

“I don’t think you’re listening to me. There’s a lot more reasons why I can’t go beyond the bakery.”

“You could have told me all this yesterday so I wouldn’t have wasted all day working on our trip—you know, the one you agreed to go on.” His arms dropped to his sides, and Emmeline felt the air cool around her. Guilt wracked her body.

The telephone rang, and Emmeline went to get it.

“I think you could let that go. We’re talking here,” Joel called after her.

Emmeline ignored him, grateful for the break.

“Hello,” she said into the receiver.

“Who is it?” asked Joel.

“Shhh,” Emmeline answered him. “It’s Callum.”

“Really, you’re talking to him now? What could he say that’s more important than what we’re discussing? That guy is always creeping around, showing up. Was this whole thing his idea? You were so happy yesterday. What did he put into your head?”

Emmeline put her hand over the receiver. “Joel, that was exactly what I was going to tell Callum. But you know what? I’ll get to you when I’m done here. Callum, I’m back, what’s going on?”

Joel was pissed, she could tell. She could almost see the steam coming out of his ears. She hadn’t expected him to be happy that she wasn’t coming, but she was really hoping that he would be supportive and say things like, “We’ll make it work,” or, “I’ll come back and visit you half way through the year.”

“What was that, Callum? I missed what you said.” It was hard to pay attention; her eyes were glued on Joel.

Joel scowled at her. “You know, perhaps I’ll come back when you’re not so preoccupied with him, and you’re ready to come back to your senses. You’re giving up everything, for what? You’ve never even been on your own, and now you think you can open up an entire business with no experience. I bet Callum is just loving this. He gets to swoop in and save the day as if this is what he meant to do all along. Plan one, get rid of me. Plan two, get you to move back to Port Hope. Plan three, get in your pants.”

Emmeline hastily said goodbye and hung up the phone. “You are sounding crazy.”

“I’d be crazy if I didn’t say what is really going on here.”

“What is really going on here is that I actually have a chance to do something for me for the first time in years. This is what I’ve wanted since Millie was a tiny little baby, and I finally have this perfect place for me to do it. That is it. I have no idea why you think that I’m running back to Port Hope straight into Callum’s arms. There has never been anything between us. We’ve never even kissed.”

“I doubt that. There is no way a guy would stay around like he does without a little something on the side. It’s the reason why you’ve kept Millie away from me.”

“I kept Millie away from you because you lied to me, and set my kid up for an incredible disappointment.”

“So now you’re throwing that in my face. I told you it wasn’t my fault. She was crazy.”

“Crazy or not, you—the situation that you created screwed that up. Then Pernella got sick, and then you were away. You have to admit a lot has been going on. That’s the reason why, not because I’m sleeping with him!” Emmeline’s voice was rising with every word. She needed to calm down. She didn’t want to wake Millie, but it was getting harder and harder to hold her temper.

“And as soon as Pernella got sick, did you call me? No, it was Callum.”

“He’s the closest thing Millie has to a dad. Of course I’d call him.”

“But he isn’t, is he? And if he has his way, no one else will ever be.”

“Not at this rate. I think it’s time for you to leave.”

“So, you’ve made a fool out of me, and now you’re kicking me out. Nice.”

Emmeline went to the door and held it open as Joel stormed though. As soon as he was on the other side, she slammed it shut.

Jerk.

The phone rang again. She picked it up without thinking.

“Are you okay?” asked a very concerned Callum.

“Yes!” she shouted. “Arggg. I don’t know, I think Joel and I just broke up. Do you have any idea how jealous he is of you?”

“Me?”

“Yes. It’s crazy. He just lost his mind when you called, completely unreasonable.”

“Is he upset about the bakery?”

“Yes, well, no.” Emmeline started to explain the trip and what happened over the past few days.

“You did the right thing. Any guy who would react like that isn’t worth it. You wouldn’t want to be away and then have jerk decide he didn’t like something and leave you stranded.”

“I don’t think he’d do that. I’m hoping he’s just disappointed. Doesn’t excuse him for accusing me of cheating on him with you.”

“Want me to come over? We could fool around a bit and put his fears to rest once and for all.”

“You are not helping. This is probably the reason why Joel is so jealous.”

Callum chuckled on the other end.

“Callum,” Emmeline began. She waited a moment, and then said, “When you say those things, are you actually serious?”

There was no answer on the other end.

Chapter Forty-One

The silence on the other end of the phone was killing her. “Well, Callum? I feel like an idiot, but I seriously need to know.” She shifted her weight uncomfortably back and forth as she waited for a response.

“Emmeline, you know me, probably better than anyone else, and I didn’t think there was anything in this world that I wouldn’t do for you until now. But while you’re mad about some other guy, still hung up on him, I’m not going to answer that question.”

Emmeline’s mouth flopped open. She knew it was true; her heart thought it was going to stop. She slowly slid her back down the wall behind her until she sat in a slump on the floor. “Callum, I…I just thought, I mean, after all this time, I never actually thought…”

“Listen, we can talk about this some other time, maybe when you’ve calmed down and Joel is out of your system. I’ve made a lot of mistakes over the years, but I am not going to make this one.”

“You are too good to us.”

“No, no I’m not. Listen, I’m no saint. And maybe I should have said whatever it is I should have said a long time ago, but I didn’t. Let’s just for the moment leave it as: we have fun together, and I am there for the two of you. I would really like to change the subject now. Please. I promise, we’ll have this conversation—one day.”

Emmeline bit her lip. She was just going to have to accept that as her answer—for now. It didn’t matter, though. She knew the truth; it was clear for the first time. Callum’s flirting, his need to be there. Joel had been right, Callum wanted her. Didn’t excuse Joel from being a jerk, but perhaps his jealousy might be well-founded.

She breathed slowly, taking it all in. The past twenty-four hours had practically given her whiplash. Joel, agreeing to go on that amazing trip, then realizing that she couldn’t. Millie’s news, Callum. Her body felt electric, her mind buzzing frantically from one thing to another with no control. Did she feel for Callum what he felt for her? She couldn’t tell. She was so messed up right now she couldn’t tell her left from her right, up from down, love from lust—or even from friendship. Callum was right, she needed to get her bearings. There would be plenty of time after she moved to her new home to figure things out.

She didn’t want to mess everything up any more than she already had. For now, all she needed to do was focus on the direction her life was pulling her: east. Back to her hometown, home to her parents, where perhaps they could patch up years of damage. Home to where her friends were, home to finally deal with Nicholas’s family, a nightmare she had been avoiding for years. She never asked again how they were doing. If they were even still there? How was Erik? Emmeline had left Port Hope and never looked back, never imagining that she would ever return.

Emmeline hung up the phone, emotionally exhausted. She crawled up the stairs and under her covers, stopping only to peek in on Millie, who had slept straight through the drama. At least she had shielded Millie from most of it.

Emmeline pulled the covers over her head. It felt like only a second had passed when she felt Millie’s cold toes under them beside her.

“Pancakes, please,” said the bright-eyed little girl an inch from Emmeline’s face.

Emmeline groaned. “How about cereal?”

“It’s Saturday. Saturdays are pancake days, not cereal days, silly.”

“Do you think that we could make an exception today?”

“Mo-om!” Millie said, drawing the word out. Emmeline knew she was beat. Pancakes it was—again.

Defeated, she threw on a housecoat, the one she wore when she was feeling like crap. It was soft and warm, with small little flowers on it. She slowly walked down the stairs.

“Mom, did I tell you I have to be at the theater this morning at ten?”

Emmeline peeked at the clock. “Okay,” she said, grateful there was still a couple of hours before then. She absentmindedly started to make the recipe that she had done a million times since Millie first discovered her undying adoration for pancakes.

“Millie, what would you say if we had a chance to open up our very own bakery?” Perhaps while she was feeling like this, it wasn’t a good idea to ask. Yet she couldn’t help it; things needed to be dealt with.

“Mommy! That would be amazing!” Millie hopped and skipped around the kitchen.

“What if we needed to move so that we could do it?”

“Move where?”

“Anywhere.” Emmeline wanted to test the waters first.

“But what about Grammy Pernella?”

“Grammy Pernella isn’t moving back in here. She’s staying where she is. We’ve gone over this.”

“This is where her room is. This is her house. She is coming back.” Millie’s skipping had stopped, and she put her hands on her tiny hips.

“Sweetie. Life changes. That means Pernella’s does too.”

Millie grunted in disgust.

“Listen, we all have to try new things. So tell me, what do you think of us going on a new adventure?”

“Maybe…”

“Nothing is settled at the moment. I would just like to hear what you think. Moving wouldn’t be so bad, would it?”

“Maybe…”

“I was thinking about the building that we inherited back in Port Hope. It’s right downtown. It would be perfect for a bakery. We could live there too.”

“I have never lived in Port Hope.”

“Yes, you have, but when you were a baby.”

“I think I like it here.”

“But it’s time for us to start thinking about what is best for us. I think moving to Port Hope would be really good for us.”

Millie scowled, and Emmeline changed the subject. That was good enough for now. They ate their breakfast together, and then Emmeline reluctantly got dressed. She checked her phone on and off to see if Joel had called. She had no idea what she’d say if he even did, and she wasn’t sure what was worse, him calling, or the cold silence.

She dropped Millie off and promised to take her to see Pernella after class. Instead of waiting around, Emmeline drove back home in a daze. She walked into the dining room and sat on one of the blue and white upholstered chairs. The pictures she had done were still scattered on the table. She picked each one up and examined them. Was this truly what she wanted?

She knew in her gut it was. It didn’t make her feel any better. This whole thing was scary. What if she failed? She could put their entire future in jeopardy.

***

She picked Millie up a few hours later, and drove over to the nursing home. They found Pernella in her fourth-floor room, dressed in black tights and a sparkly sweatshirt that hung off her shoulder.

“Who broke you guys?” Pernella asked immediately.

“What are you talking about?” Emmeline asked, trying to cover up what she was feeling inside.

“Oh Grammy! Mommy says you’re really not coming home,” cried Millie.

“Millie! What is it that you are bubbling about? I am home!”

“No, you’re not,” Millie said defiantly.

“Millie, this is my home. I am happy here. Aren’t you happy for me?”

Millie little lip jutted forward, and Pernella patted her knee, signaling her to come over and sit on it. Millie did, and Pernella wrapped her arms around her waist and then kissed her on the head. “What else is going on?”

“Mommy told me that we might be moving too.”

“I know, sweetie pie. You and your mommy have a great chance to do something wonderful. I am so happy for you.”

Emmeline had talked this through with Pernella a few times over the past few days.

“But it’s in some town that I haven’t been to since I was a baby.” Millie was losing her bravado, starting to sound upset. “I don’t want to go.”

“Your mom told me her plan a little while ago,” Pernella replied, sitting up straighter. “It’s back in your old world. I don’t think it will be a problem. You’ll get to know your grandparents better, you’ll get to see where your mommy lived when she was a little girl. You know strife brings out your truth.”

Emmeline stiffened. These were the words that she needed to hear too, and yet didn’t want to. Millie looked at Pernella like she was from Mars.

“Now, Emmeline, your turn. Confess. What is going on with you?”

“Perhaps it’s been too much strife these days. Joel and I broke up last night. He wasn’t exactly excited about the bakery.”

“If he wasn’t excited about your dreams then he was a complete idiot, love.”

“I don’t know. Perhaps I’m getting in over my head. Pernella, are you sure you don’t want to move home?” Suddenly that felt like the best thing. Things could just stay the same. The idea was warm and comforting.

Pernella looked at the two of them in amazement. “Did you guys expect me to prop you up and make you feel better just because things are changing?”

“Grammy, we can’t leave you!” whined Millie.

“And that is your excuse for not moving on with your life?” Pernella gave them both the stink eye.

Emmeline glanced at Millie, who wore the same sheepish expression.

“Well…” Emmeline began.

“I think you should go. I am nobody’s crutch,” said Pernella. “Have I not taught you anything?”

“You have, but…” Emmeline started again.

“Nope. Out you go, and come back when you’re not feeling sorry for yourself.”

Emmeline knew Pernella was right. She was about to embark on her dream, and all she could do was be miserable.

“Millie,” Emmeline said, picking up her daughter’s hand. “I am nervous too. Do you think that perhaps we could try and be brave?”

Millie forced a nod.

“Millie, why don’t you tell Grammy all about the play?”

That took up an entire hour, as she gave her all the details about the play and her ideas on how to make it better. She beamed as she told Pernella that she was getting to direct an entire scene, and the theater school had never let a seven-year-old do that before. She was the first.

“You’re a trailblazer, girl,” Pernella praised her.

When they left that afternoon, Emmeline decided she needed to get out of her funk. She spent the rest of the day working on bakery details, the boring ones that made her head hurt—finances, move-in dates, insurance policies—and sent it all on to Ginny to double check.

She brought up her courage and called Joel that night. She wanted him to be happy on his trip. She wanted him to live it to the fullest, and if he wanted to, when he came back, they could see what could happen from there. Joel was still mad.

“You’re just trying to get rid of me!” he accused her. “No. wait, I’m being a jerk. I really wanted you to come. I really am going to miss you. I really want you to come.”

“I can’t, it isn’t the time for me to pick up and leave. You need to understand this. I don’t want to leave everything so miserable. What we had was pretty good.”

“Had. That’s a horrible word.”

“It just has to be like this.” Tears burned the corners of her eyes. She forced them back; no more crying. Time to woman up.

“No changing your mind?”

“No changing my mind. I’ve relied on other people my whole life; it’s time for that to change.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. I need to go. I just didn’t want you to go with us still in a fight.”

Joel was quiet for a moment, and then said, “Goodbye, Emmeline Hope.”

“Goodbye, Joel.”

Emmeline buried herself for the next few hours in laundry and dishes. She and Millie watched a movie, and before she went to bed she called Callum. He made her laugh, and she felt better than she ever imagined she’d feel at that moment.

Chapter Forty-Two

The next month passed in a blur of meetings with the bank and lawyers and a million calls back and forth with Ginny, who helped guide her through the process. Emmeline snuck down to Port Hope while Millie was in school to sign official papers with the law firm her grandmother had dealt with, and was given a set of keys. Ginny and Callum were by her side as she gazed on the vacant building that she now officially owned. The outside brick had been painted blue, probably eighty years ago, and it was attached on either side to similarly styled buildings. A large picture window still had the historical society’s logo on the front; that most definitely would have to come down soon. Emmeline had no idea how to do that, but Callum was already giving her advice. Not on style, but on how to take the sign down, how to fix the wooden door, and how to reframe the window for better impact.

Emmeline pulled out the key the lawyer’s office had just given her. She jiggled the key into the lock and pulled open the door. A large, open room with dingy white floors greeted her. The walls were a pale gray, and in some places screws that probably hung pictures were still present. A plastic chair that had been left behind lay on its side.

“It needs a little work to make it look like the pictures you showed me, but there’s a lot of space,” said Ginny optimistically.

Emmeline let her breath out. It wasn’t half bad. There would be plenty of room for tables and chairs along with a counter and a prime spot to showcase her pastries. She had scanned the street before coming in, and didn’t see anything else like what she wanted to open here. At the back, there were two doors leading into what looked like offices that shared a wall.

Anxiously, Emmeline turned to Callum. “Do you think we could knock down the wall in between the offices to make one big kitchen?”

He looked around and examined the walls. He was familiar with buildings like these. His shop wasn’t all too different.

“As long as you don’t knock this main wall here down, it would be fine.”

A happy glow spread through Emmeline’s stomach. This would work.

Other than the two offices and a tiny bathroom, which was really good news—something Emmeline wouldn’t have to pay to put in—one last door stood open. She peeked through and found a staircase leading upstairs. “Let’s go see what’s up there,” Emmeline said, feeling adventurous.

According to what the lawyer had explained earlier, there was an apartment up there that hadn’t been rented out for years. Emmeline clenched her jaw as she reached the top stair and the overwhelming blandness of the apartment became apparent. It wasn’t exactly glamorous, and it looked like no one had even tried to update the decor since 1972. Ginny made some very loud gagging sounds.

“It could be worse,” Callum said, opening and closing the cabinets that looked as though they were in decent shape.

“Paint, maybe that would help,” Emmeline said, running her hand along the countertops; at least they were clean. She knew it would be a long time before they could do any sort of renovations up here. Every little bit she was hoping to get as a loan from the bank would have to go to renovating the downstairs to transform it into her business. She needed to put in a whole new kitchen from scratch, and there was no way that was going to be cheap.

Besides the kitchen in the apartment, there were two bedrooms, a full bathroom, and a living room. ”I have to admit, it isn’t pretty, especially not compared to Pernella’s house, but it will fit us perfectly. There’s that at least.” She paused, worry like a cloud floated through her brain. “I hope Millie will like it. She’s still not happy about the whole thing. I promised that we won’t move until the summer.”

“She’ll come around,” Callum soothed her.

“I hope so. She’s mad that she fought so hard to get Director Anthony to take her seriously and let her direct, and now she’s leaving. I don’t blame her. If this wasn’t such a perfect opportunity, I wouldn’t leave Oakville.”

“You know, there’s a theater just around the corner. She could walk there. They put on plays with the kids all the time,” Ginny said.

“Is that still there?” Emmeline asked. At least that would be something she could use to convince Millie that this move would be a good one.

“Trust me, everything is exactly as it was. Everything!”

“Ginny, it’s not that bad,” Callum said, faking insult.

“Callum, did you have that shirt in high school?”

“Shut up.”

“So, this is it,” Emmeline said, ignoring the two of them play fighting. It really felt as though nothing had changed all these years, all except Nicholas. The world had gone on without him. She had made it through, even though she didn’t think she would at times, and together they had made an incredibly interesting, bold, strong, and determined little girl. She knew he would be proud. “How long do you think it’ll take to do the renovations downstairs?”

“A couple of months, I think. Are you still planning to do a lot of it yourself?” Callum asked.

“I think I have to. I don’t want to go into too much debt. I mean, there’s no guarantee that this is even going to work. I’m just pleased that I can use the building as collateral for the loan.”

“What about your parents? Any thoughts about asking them for money?”

“Forget it. I’ve done without asking them for money all along, I’m not going to start now.”

“They must be pleased about you coming back,” Callum said. “Your mom stops by the shop all the time, trying to get information out of me about what you’re doing. If she buys any more lamps, I think you’ll be able to see the house from space.”

“You’ve never told me that before! She could just call me.”

“To be fair, you kind of get your back up every time your parents’ names are mentioned.”

“No, I don’t.”

Callum and Ginny exchanged a knowing glance.

“So this is what I get for coming back, eh?”

“This and so much more!” Ginny put her arm around Emmeline’s waist. “I can’t believe we’re all going to be back together. I never thought it was possible.”

“Well, almost all of us,” Callum said, and then looked up. “Buddy, we miss you.”

Emmeline sucked in a breath. Memories all day had been flooding back, things she didn’t realize she had suppressed, making her feel a little raw. Perhaps it was the stress of the move, or the anticipation of what her shop could be. Maybe it was the fear of running into Nicholas’s family again.

“What’s wrong?” Ginny asked, quickly picking up on Emmeline’s flash of anxiety.

“Does everyone still blame me for his death?”

“No one blames you!” Callum said, although it seemed like this was something that he had expected. “Listen, Dorothy wasn’t well back then. Even if we didn’t know at the time.”

“What do you mean?” Ginny asked.

“I mean, the family tries to keep it quiet, but Dorothy was in the early stages of Alzheimer’s when she said those things. Remember how irrational she was and the hair pulling? Looking back, it seems pretty obvious, but then she just seemed like a jerk. Remember the mood swings, and how Nicholas was so confused about why she was behaving the way she was? She’s gone downhill from then. She pretty much needs around the clock care now. A few times she’s run away. That’s the only reason why I know. I’ve had to help Erik fetch her a couple of times.”

“You have got to be kidding me!”

“Crazy as a freakin’ loon, she is.”

“Isn’t that a little insensitive?” Ginny asked, clearly surprised by the news.

“Maybe, but I call it as I see it.”

Emmeline stood there blinking. She felt like she had been walloped, and wasn’t sure if the news was good or not. At least there was an explanation as to why Dorothy had been so unreasonable. It didn’t make what she went through any easier, but a small weight felt like it had been lifted.

“Trust me,” Callum said, “You won’t have any troubles with her anymore. And I can promise, no one in town thinks anything of you but kindness. And let me tell you, your parents aren’t the only ones who come into the shop asking how you’re doing.”

“Now you’re just making stuff up.” Emmeline elbowed him in the side, gently. Ginny smirked, and Emmeline realized she had just flirted with Callum. She stood up a little straighter. She hadn’t even begun to figure out what she felt for him. It had just been a natural reaction.

“You’ll find out for yourself soon enough,” Callum said, shifting his weight a little closer to Emmeline.

“It won’t be today, unfortunately. I better run. I’ll be lucky not to be late picking Millie up.”

They walked down the stairs and outside, where Emmeline locked the front door. Next time she came back, she was hoping she would have an official yes from the bank and could really start making plans for the opening.

She said goodbye to her friends and climbed into Nicholas’s car. She felt blessed for the first time in a while. Seeing the place made her feel better, like what she gave up with Joel to make this happen might just be worth it.

Twice she had been unlucky in love. As she pulled out of her parking space, she looked in the rear-view mirror and saw Callum’s tall frame walking down the street toward his own shop, and she thought to herself, There’s a chance the third time might be the charm.

Chapter Forty-Three

The next two months were a flurry of activity, packing up Pernella’s house, sending some of her stuff into storage, finding homes for the rest. On Pernella’s insistence, Emmeline was taking a bunch of the furniture and decor with her to furnish her new apartment.

Excitement was taking hold. This would be the first place she got to decorate herself. Millie wasn’t thrilled, but seemed to be accepting what would happen in a very short time. Emmeline, however, was counting down the days—especially after she got the long-awaited okay on her loan from the bank. Admittedly, it was going to be hard to say goodbye to Kathy, who had taught her everything she knew about baking and running a business. She wouldn’t be anywhere if it wasn’t for her.

Emmeline took a few moments to realize how blessed she had been. Where would her life be without Pernella and Kathy? They had been a lifeline for her when her world was falling apart. They loved her, and helped her not to make themselves look good, not to show off, but because they were just good people. She was so proud that Millie had women like them around her who had treated her as their own. Emmeline wished she had a relationship like that with her mom. Things were still touchy, but maybe with her going back, there could be hope for change. They were both older now and ideally more sensible.

Emmeline thought of the differences between women like Pernella and Kathy—strong, independent, willful—and her own mother, who seemed like a little mouse trying to be a stallion. Always so worried about what people were thinking about her, always wanting to keep up appearances. It all seemed fake when Emmeline was younger. Now, as a mom, Emmeline couldn’t imagine what it would be like if her kid moved away and hardly talked to her. She would be devastated. But in comparison, Emmeline’s relationship with Millie had always been much closer than she ever was with her mom. At least she was pretty sure that Millie wasn’t harboring some secret hatred toward her. The idea rocked her to the core before she shook it away. They were close, and she just had to have faith in that.

The night of the play, Emmeline’s stomach was so full of butterflies she couldn’t figure out how Millie was handling it so well. She seemed calm and cool. Emmeline asked how she was doing, and Millie answered, “As long as stupid Charlie doesn’t forget his lines, we’ll be fine.”

Emmeline stifled a laugh, and then gave her crap for not sounding very supportive.

“He wouldn’t have been my first choice, but that was before Director Anthony started to take my opinion seriously,” Millie continued dryly.

“I don’t care. He has the part, and you have to be encouraging.”

Millie rolled her eyes, but didn’t push it any further.

Emmeline dropped her off backstage at the theater, then went around to take her seat. She was front and center, but there were still two hours before the play would begin. She decided to leave her scarf on the non-assigned seats to save her spot and go for a walk.

She was walking out the door when a frantic Callum almost ran into her. “Did I miss it? Please tell me I didn’t miss it!”

“Miss what? The play?”

“Yes! I got here as soon as I could.”

“No, you’re two hours early!”

“You’re kidding me; I’ve been fretting all day about getting here on time!”

“It doesn’t start until seven. It’s, what, five oh five?

“I have the time wrong!” He pulled out his phone and showed his calendar to her.

“I have no idea. We have lots of time. I didn’t realize you were going to make it.”

“Are you kidding me? Millie’s first debut on stage, pulling multiple duties. I wouldn’t miss it for the world!”

“Of course you wouldn’t.” She looped her arm through his, and asked, “I was about to go for a walk to waste some time. Do you want to join me?”

“Absolutely,” he said.

They wandered out the door and down the street. The little business area in this part of the city was quaint. Shops were full of vintage wear and antiques, which put Callum into a good mood. He insisted that his stuff was way better, and complained that the prices of the things in the windows were too high. He may have sounded like he was annoyed, but Emmeline could see the light in his eyes.

The summer air was lovely, slightly humid, and the sun peeked out from behind heavy clouds that indicated it might rain later on. She felt herself pull a little closer to him. Since she went to see the bakery for the first time, they had talked every day on the phone making plans. There was still so much to do once the play had finished its two-week course. Emmeline was planning on taking the rest of August off to begin the renovations. If she worked really hard, she was hoping to open for October first. It was a lofty goal, but she was determined to make it. Hopefully she could take advantage of all the people coming downtown to shop for the holiday season to bring in new curious customers. But tonight she didn’t want to think about it; she just wanted to walk in the soothing summer air with her friend, her rock and confidant, and enjoy her daughter’s triumph.

“You know, I don’t think that I’ve ever thanked you for everything you’ve done for us,” she said, looking up at Callum. She gently put her head down on the side of his arm. His gray tee felt soft against her cheek.

“You have, and it’s not necessary.” He hip-checked her slightly. “Besides, you know that you two are my world.”

“You know, it was words like that which made Joel so green with envy!”

“Joel—you bring up Joel at a time like this?”

Emmeline tried not to think about him. It worked, most days, and then it would slip out at the most inconvenient of times.

“Sorry. He’s gone, you know. I don’t think I’ll ever see him again.” She wasn’t sure why she said this; if it was for her benefit or Callum’s. They still hadn’t had the talk, but it did seem like they were getting closer by the day. Maybe he was who she was always meant to be with. Who knows?

“He really broke your heart, didn’t he?” Callum asked.

“Nah, I broke my own. I was the one who didn’t want to go. Besides, it wasn’t right for Millie.”

“You just wanted to stay here with me,” he said.

“You just keep telling yourself that,” Emmeline said.

“And I do.”

“Why have you stayed around all this time?”

“My whole life I just wanted you to be happy, you and Millie. I want you live the life you were supposed to. And since I can’t take away all the crap that surrounds you, I just try and do what I can. Anything to see that smile on your face and the wiggle in your hips.”

“I don’t wiggle when I walk,” she said obstinately.

“Oh, yes you do. I think that even the Pope would notice when you walked down the street.”

She reached behind with her leg and kicked him in the bum.

“Next time, if you’re going to spank me, please use your hand.” He winked.

“You are incorrigible!”

“Yep!”

They went into a coffee shop and bought a few lattes, then went over to the park to drink them. They stayed there until a half hour before the show started.

They met Pernella at the front door as she was being dropped off by the transportation arranged by the retirement home, and they all went in together. Emmeline’s stomach felt hollow as she wiped her sweaty palms on her pants, fighting the urge to run backstage. She knew Millie wouldn’t appreciate her mother fawning over her as she tried to get ready. She could only hope that Millie was doing okay.

The theater filled up, and the lights dimmed. A spotlight shone onto the stage and the curtains rose. On the large movie screen at the back of the stage came beautiful images that told the history of the chocolate factory.

Out came the small boy playing Charlie Bucket, singing a solo. He was slightly off-key at some parts, but he remembered all the words. Emmeline wondered what Millie must be thinking at that moment. The second scene started in the bedroom with Grandpa George, Grandma Georgina, Grandpa Joe, and Grandma Josephine. The kid playing Charlie was singing about how much he wanted a golden ticket hidden in the chocolate bars. Emmeline could see Millie in the wings mouthing the words. Twice, she made a face, and Emmeline wondered if she would run out onto the stage to correct the boy, but she stayed put. Emmeline let out a breath, realizing that she had been holding it in.

Relax, girl. If your kid can do this, so can you. But she was on the verge of crying. She was so proud. This was her kid. She hadn’t even hit the stage, and yet Emmeline could tell she was a star. She could see the little touches her kid had added, and wondered again how it was that she knew to do things. It just seemed so natural to her.

The scene Millie was responsible for came near the beginning, and definitely had her stamp on it. Emmeline could barely control herself when Grandpa George said, “Now why would kids want to eat all that chocolate? It’ll rot their teeth, and turn them into zombies!”

The scene ended with a song, and the crowd cheered. It was lovely, and Millie really did do a good job. Perhaps this really was her calling after all. Then Emmeline shook her head. Millie was still young; she might have ten more callings before she grew up. Yet there was Callum sitting beside her. He knew what he wanted to do at a young age too.

A few more scenes in, Millie came out wearing her old ballet tutu, a pink sweater, and a pair of white mini heels.

“But Daddy, I want a Golden Ticket! And I want it now!” she shouted from center stage.

“But darling Verruca, I don’t have a ticket to give you,” said the man playing her father.

“No buts, Daddy! Don’t you love me? If you loved me, you’d give me a golden ticket.” Her little lip protruded as she said this, and she exaggeratedly batted her eyes to the audience. They, in turn, started to giggle. Millie had full command of the stage, like she was born there.

Emmeline couldn’t help it; her eyes welled up and the tears slid down her cheeks. Even Callum was getting a little emotional sitting there. Pernella looked like she knew it all along.

They ended the scene in a song, which Millie shouted all the way through. Singing wasn’t her strong suit, but Verruca shouted more than anything else during the songs, which worked out to her favour. Her role was just to throw a temper tantrum while the father character did musical acrobats to make her calm down.

The intermission hit, and everyone was dismissed for ten minutes. Emmeline went into the lobby, where they were selling Wonka bars and slushies along with chips and other sweets. She picked out some licorice whips to share, and water bottles for everyone, then quickly made her way back to her seat.

The curtains opened again, and Verruca Salt’s character disappeared soon after with a bunch of children dressed like squirrels carrying her away as she screamed her head off. The major part of her role was finished. And she absolutely killed it. The rest of the play went off without any major hiccups. The kid playing Mike Teavee lost his line once, but caught himself quickly, so Emmeline doubted that anyone would really have noticed.

As the cast came out for their bows, people stood, clapping wildly. Millie was at centre stage, beaming. Everything she had set out to do, she had done.

When the clapping died down and the curtain finally closed, Emmeline ran backstage, with Callum hot on her heels. Pernella was only a little bit behind them in the motorized wheelchair she used on days like this.

Millie was talking to the kid playing Violet Beauregarde when Emmeline snatched her up and swung her around. Millie fell into a fit of laughter. Callum slowed them down as he put his great big arms around both of them and squeezed tightly.

“My star! You’re truly a star!” he said.

“Callum, you always say that,” Millie said, still in her mother’s arms.

“But tonight, you proved me right!”

“My, my, what a beautiful family we have here,” Pernella said as she finally caught up.

Emmeline willed Pernella to be quiet, but Callum’s smile grew even wider.

Chapter Forty-Four

The play ended as a rousing success after its two-week run. Each time it got a little better, as everyone settled into their parts and remembered all their words and staging. It was sad to see it end, and it was hard for Emmeline to watch her daughter say goodbye to everyone from the theater. It wasn’t like it would be forever. Emmeline made a special promise to bring Millie to see the next play the group put on. It made the farewell a little easier. Callum brought Millie a pamphlet with all the plays that were going on during the year in her new town, and Ginny had dug up some additional theatre groups in the surrounding areas and mailed them to Millie to look through, explaining that it was important to learn the craft from many people, not just one, if she was going to be truly successful. Millie accepted this all quietly, which was unsettling for Emmeline.

The last day at Pernella’s was a madhouse. Ginny’s parents had taken over the final arrangements and were putting the house on the market officially the next day. Pernella had already picked out everything she wanted and had it brought to her new place. She then told her family to pick out what was important to them. Emmeline was welcome to go through and take anything else she wanted, and whatever was left over after that would go to auction. Pernella frankly didn’t care where her stuff was going. It was stuff. For Emmeline, it meant that in her first place, officially on her own, she wasn’t starting from scratch. It was helpful.

Callum came up that morning, closing his shop to help her move. Emmeline thanked him a million times, and even tried to convince him not to come, offering to hire someone. He scoffed at her, saying something about how he wasn’t going to let some idiot movers scratch up the antique furniture from Pernella’s house, forcing him to refinish it. He offered it as an excuse, but Emmeline knew there was no way he’d let her do it on her own. It also helped her a lot and saved on her pocketbook as she ventured into the unstable world of a small business.

Together they loaded the last of the stuff onto the trailer Callum regularly used for his business, then filled the back of Callum’s pickup and her little car with whatever could fit, and that was that.

“There’s no turning back now, kiddo,” Emmeline said as she shut the driver’s side door. She looked back at Millie, who smiled politely from the cramped back seat.

It took almost two full hours, including the pee break, before they saw the Port Hope sign. Emmeline was all of a sudden scared out of her mind. Fear like electrical volts zipped through her body in waves as her chest tightened. Returning home. Returning to a different life—two different lives, if she was being honest. One as a teenager, carefree and fun, and one with Nicholas. It seemed like one too many lives for one town, and here she was starting her third as a business owner and single mom. She just hoped that Port Hope would welcome them back with open arms.

Ginny was waiting for them outside of the building on Walton Street. How that girl knew Emmeline would be arriving at that exact moment was beyond her, but there she was, with coffee for her and a hot chocolate with extra milk for Millie.

“Are you ladies ready for this?” Ginny asked as Emmeline got out of the car, still forcing herself into calm, consistent breaths. She stood up straight and relaxed her shoulders. I can do this, I can do this, she repeated in her mind like the Little Engine that Could puffing up the hill.

Callum pulled in just behind them on the street, and chuckled as he pointed to the no parking signs on the meters.

“Was that your doing?” Ginny asked, nodding in approval.

“I may get a little crap for it, but I think it might be worth it.”

“You guys are hilarious,” Emmeline said, gazing up at her building. It was nice to see her grandmother’s legacy, and she wanted to do her proud. She had been a businesswoman, strong and confident, listening to her own judgment. She had made something out of herself and her family, even though, according to the traditions of the time, she was supposed to be at home making dinner. Emmeline never heard what her grandfather thought about it all. He had been a quiet, steady man who didn’t often voice his opinions. Mostly what people said was that he was a little thin.

“What was this place when your grandmother had it?” Ginny asked, pulling one of the boxes out of the car and following Emmeline to the door.

“Probably just a store. She made most of her money in real estate, buying up properties and renting them out. I really wish I knew more about her. When I was younger, it was annoying being the namesake. People kept talking to me like they knew something about me because I was her granddaughter, so I distanced myself. I swore I’d never name my kid that, and yet I am so glad I did.”

Callum came up behind Emmeline, his arms full of boxes. “What did you pack in here, rocks?”

“Yes! Lots, and just for you to carry too!” Emmeline smiled. She quickly opened up the door and stood inside so they could put down the boxes. She looked back to the car. Millie was pulling stuff out too and putting it on the sidewalk. It was going to be okay.

“Welcome home!” Ginny said with a grand flourish. Then she reached over and hugged Emmeline. “And Millie, I promise you, you’re going to love it here.”

Millie joined them inside, squinting, “I thought you said it would be pink!”

“It will be, eventually. We’ve got lots of work to do before we open. It’s all going to take a little time, Angel Face,” Emmeline explained.

Callum poked Millie’s side and said, “Down the street is the theater. I’ll introduce you to the manager very soon.”

“How far?”

“Like a two minute walk. You might even be able to walk there on your own.”

“Mom, would you ever let me walk there on my own?”

“Maybe. We’ll talk about it later.”

Millie nodded, and Emmeline grinned. “Did you know it’s customary to carry someone over the threshold? When we first moved into the train, your dad carried you over, although you were a baby then.”

Millie looked confused. “Why were we in a train?”

“She doesn’t know?” Ginny asked.

“I guess I never told her all the details. In the end, it just seemed like home, not something different.” She turned to Millie and said, “Angel Face, we lived in a train—it was actually a train museum—for the first eight months of your life. The three of us, before your dad died.”

“I was a hobo baby?” she asked, blinking rapidly.

“Well, not exactly. More like a boxcar baby. We didn’t have to sneak in, we had permission to stay there.”

“So weird. I hope this place is better than that.”

“The train wasn’t so bad. But yes, I think this will be lots better. Well, kiddo, let’s go. Maybe we’ll carry on the tradition.” Emmeline picked Millie up and threw her over her shoulder while she squirmed and protested. “Stay still,” Emmeline said through her laughter. “I’ll drop you if you don’t!”

Inside the door, she plopped her down, and Millie checked to see if anyone was watching, looking slightly embarrassed.

“You’re not saying anything,” Ginny said. “Are you happy, sad, about to run away screaming?”

Millie shrugged her shoulders.

Emmeline quickly lost herself imagining where she would put the counter and till, where the tables would rest, and how her sign would look. Her line of credit was burning a hole in her pocket, and she wanted to get going right now. She had mentally decorated this place a hundred times. She had visualized a line of people stretching all the way down the street, begging her for her brownies or fresh-baked cookies. But right now, it was just them, and a long line of furniture to move inside. It was only four o’clock, and she was already more tired than she had any right to be.

“Earth to Emmeline,” Ginny said, not getting an answer. “Millie? How about you? What do you think?”

“It’s fine,” she said, shrugging her shoulders again.

“Fine, ha!” Callum said, lugging in some chairs out of his trailer. “It’ll be better than fine. I’ve seen those plans of your mom’s.”

“Emmeline?” Ginny asked again.

“She’s dreaming, can you see it?” Millie answered for her. “We’ve totally lost her. You might as well show me the rest of the place. She might be a while before she comes up for air.”

Ginny laughed.

“I’m here. I just can’t believe this is finally happening, that’s all. Let’s go upstairs and see the rest of the place.”

The two of them raced up the stairs at the back and showed Millie around, while Callum, focused on the task at hand, continued to unload boxes.

“So which room do you want?” Emmeline asked.

“Give me a minute. This is an important decision.” They left Millie to her room debate and went back downstairs to join Callum.

“Hey!” said a man walking their way. “Looks like you might need some help.”

Emmeline looked up. She recognized the voice. “Dad?”

He grinned. “I heard that today was the day the prodigal daughter returned. I thought perhaps you wouldn’t mind a welcome wagon.”

“Only if you actually brought a wagon with you,” Emmeline answered. He was there. She couldn’t explain at that moment how much it meant to her.

“No wagon, but perhaps an extra pair of hands might help just as well.”

“Yes. Thank you, Dad.”

He came a little closer and wrapped his arms around Emmeline. She squeezed back tightly and then asked, “Is Mom coming?”

“Later, she’ll come later.”

That was good enough.

They all pitched in with the rest of her stuff, attempting to get the boxes in the right rooms. It was a whirlwind of boxes, shouts asking where to put what, couch cushions sitting on recycling bags of clothes, and a pizza delivery guy somewhere in between. It was going as well as it could possibly go. Until she came out and saw two big tickets on the windshields of the cars, and the no parking signs missing.

“Ugh,” Emmeline said, pulling the ticket off of her windshield. “Welcome home.”

She smiled and went back to unpacking.

Chapter Forty-Five

They worked late into the evening getting the stuff out of the cars and trailer, haphazardly putting things in rooms. They threw their mattresses down on the floor, dug out some blankets, and then ordered their second pizza from the shop down the street at nine p.m. There weren’t a lot of options for easy take-out food within walking distance in the small downtown core, and they weren’t exactly in any shape for a proper sit-down restaurant. Tomorrow was going to require a trip to the grocery store, thought Emmeline.

She said goodbye to her dad and Ginny, who after helping all afternoon, both looked like they needed a bath and a bed. Emmeline didn’t imagine she looked any better, but couldn’t help but notice how good Callum still looked. His fair hair was a messy and dirt showed under his fingernails, but it added to his charm.

They had been getting closer and closer, now that she had let her guard down and had been clued in to what had been obvious to everyone but her. His words held new meaning now, and his smile gave her goosebumps. They had opened up possibilities in her mind that had been closed. Part of her still felt like she was doing something naughty by thinking about him like this. Was it okay to like your dead boyfriend’s BFF? It made her a little nervous. What would people think?

Callum came up behind her and put his hand on her back.

“Are you ready to go? Millie looks like she could eat a bear.”

His touch sent these timid chills through her body. He had touched her a million times before, but these touches felt different, loaded with additional meaning. Emmeline closed her eyes and leaned into him. He squeezed in with his arm, and she placed her head onto his shoulder.

He kissed her on the top of her head, and breathed in deeply. This felt like home—not this town, or her building. It was being around him. It wasn’t the first time she’d thought that about him. She always went to him, no matter what, when she felt like she was in over her head. He didn’t fix it for her, instead he listened. He helped where he could, but mostly he gave her the confidence that she could make it through whatever situation she found herself in.

She turned toward Callum and looked up into his eyes. The air was thick and heavy, and Emmeline’s breath caught in her throat. His eyes softened as they connected with hers. She bit her lip. He put his other arm around her and pulled her in closely. Emmeline could feel her heart beat faster.

“Fooooood!” shouted Millie.

“No,” Emmeline said meekly.

Callum’s eyes darted from Emmeline to Millie, and back to Emmeline again. He grunted and then said, “Food, here we come. Haven’t you had enough pizza today? Don’t you think we could have something different?”

“Nope, unless you have a pancake place here. If we were back home we could have pancakes. They would even make me pancakes with chocolate chips in them.”

“Not at this time of the day, I’m afraid,” Callum said, letting go of Emmeline.

“Okay, Angel Face, let’s go.”

They walked down the street, letting Millie run ahead. Callum grabbed Emmeline’s hand, lacing his fingers through hers, not saying much. Emmeline’s thoughts whirled like she was on a ride at an amusement park.

“Come on, you guys,” Millie called, waiting at the corner to cross the street. “Why do you have to be so slow?”

She ran back, pulled Emmeline and Callum’s hands apart, and stood in the middle. “They are going to close before you guys get there.” She took their hands in hers and pulled them along, making Emmeline and Callum walk even slower just to tease her.

By the time they got to the restaurant, the pizza was ready and they decided to eat there instead of going straight back to the building. Afterwards, they made a small detour in the other direction to show Millie the theater. It wasn’t as big as the one she was used to, but there was a certain charm about it. All three plastered their faces up to the doors and peeked inside, seeing a long hallway lined with posters leading to another set of doors. The billboard outside listed the current plays and what was coming up.

“There is nothing here with kids in it,” Millie noticed.

“Don’t worry, kiddo,” Emmeline said. “I’m sure something will come up soon.”

“Mom, the theater is so close. Do you think that I could walk here by myself?”

Emmeline thought for a moment. It would only be a two-minute walk. Not that far. It might be okay, but she had never let Millie go anywhere on her own before. Millie had grown up over the past few months as she turned eight. Emmeline nodded while inwardly cringing.

“I bet your mom would let you walk here in no time. Besides, kid, you’re almost fifteen. Your mom’s gotta let go of those apron strings at some point!” Callum teased her.

“Ha! You know I am only eight years and two months old.”

“Really? I saw you on that stage last week. You had to be at least thirteen then.”

“You’re crazy, Callum.”

“Nooo,” Callum said, grinning. “It’s really great to have you here. I missed you guys.”

“How could you miss us? You call us all the time, and you always came down to see us.”

“It hasn’t been the same. When you were a small baby, I really got to see you. I was even there in the hospital when you were born.”

Emmeline smiled, remembering. It had been one of the craziest times of her life.

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“Mom talks about Daddy, but she doesn’t talk much about living here. Seriously, Mom, I still don’t really get why we have to live here.”

“We’ve been through this,” Emmeline answered, a little frustrated.

“You two have some strong roots here in this town,” Callum answered. “You’re an Emmeline Hope, from a long, long line of Emmeline Hopes. For goodness’ sake, this town is named after your family.”

“I had no idea.”

“It’s true,” Emmeline said, enjoying listening to them talk.

“There’s lots you got to learn, kid. But for today, I think you’ve learned the most important thing—where to find the best pizza,” Callum said.

“That is really important!” Emmeline agreed.

They walked back to the building and took Millie upstairs to try and settle her into bed. Things weren’t exactly the way Emmeline had hoped they would be by the time she was tucking Millie in, but at least there was a bed. Millie pouted a little, but a few minutes later Emmeline could hear her snoring.

“It sounds like it’s time for me to go too,” Callum said. “You’re probably beat.”

“More than a little, that’s for sure. Remind me never to move again.” At that moment, she wasn’t kidding. It had been a long, emotional day, and climbing into a mattress on the floor never looked so appealing.

She walked him downstairs, holding his hand. They stood by the front door, looking at each other. Callum swept his hand along her cheek softly, and then he pulled her in close. A moment later his mouth crashed onto hers. It was nothing like she imagined, not sweet, but with an intensity that proved his years of longing. She could hardly breathe as electric shocks coursed through her body, making her greedy for more, even as their lips separated. He looped his hands around her back and drew her in closer. With the look in his eyes, she could tell he was as taken back by it as she was. It felt better than she could have ever imagined, more natural too. She stood up on her tiptoes, wanting him to kiss her again.

Chapter Forty-Six

The bone-deep exhaustion from moving evaporated as she said goodbye to Callum. Her heart danced as she watched him walk down the street, making her feel like every cell in her body was going to burst with surprised happiness. She couldn’t help but notice this little strut in his step. Her first reaction was to remember to tease him later, but then it occurred to her that she caused that. He was happy because they had finally kissed. She wasn’t sure if she should be blushing or jumping around screaming.

She hopped back up the stairs and changed for bed. She tried to lie down but her body buzzed, unable to relax, energized by the excitement. Instead, she dove into more of the boxes, unpacking the kitchen, arranging things the way she had imagined. It wasn’t until two a.m. that she finally fell into bed, happy and content.

***

Staying up so late the night before had seemed like a good idea, but the next morning wasn’t as pleasant. Millie woke early and wanted breakfast. Together they walked down the street to an open restaurant. During the walk, she debated whether to tell Millie about her and Callum, finally deciding to wait until they had more time to talk and decide together what this was and where it was going.

Not that Emmeline had any doubts. Her soul lit up when she thought about him. She felt stupid for not acknowledging it sooner. It had always been there, lurking, hiding in the shadows with its rosy glow. It was a very special thing to fall for your friend, your confidant. It had been a long time coming. Maybe they needed all that time to sort through everything, to grow up. But now that she had it in her grasp, she was never going to let go. Millie was going to be pleased with this, she knew it.

They found a small table by the window in the restaurant. Millie ordered a double helping of pancakes and quickly scarfed them down, while Emmeline sucked back three cups of coffee before even touching her eggs. They lingered over the meal, knowing what was waiting for them once they got back home.

Home, it felt funny to think about. This truly was their home. The idea reenergized her. She needed to finish unpacking the apartment and get Millie comfortable there first, and then she could devote every spare minute to the bakery—her impossible dream that had somehow come true. Millie would be heading back to school in a couple of weeks, and then she would have plenty of extra time. By her calculations, she had six weeks before she had to be open and start making money to repay her loan. Not a lot of time, but hopefully not impossible either. This was a real opportunity…if it worked. Small town coffee shops either became an institution or they failed miserably, drowning their former owners in debt.

Before the move date, she had done a sort of crash course on doing your own renovations. Google and YouTube videos had been her best friends. YouTube had taught her how to put in a toilet, the best way to remove wallpaper, and how to change showerheads and install faucets. Emmeline still wasn’t sure if she was ready get her hands dirty, but there was no more time to waste. They walked back home, and she set Millie to work pulling her beloved stuffies out of boxes and arranging them on her shelf in her room while Emmeline pulled the living room furniture around, trying to arrange it in a way that made sense.

A few minutes later, Millie came out with her video camera and announced that she was going to film the move. Emmeline thought about arguing, but decided against it. Stuffies could wait; her kid showing the first bit of real acceptance that their situation had changed came first, even though being filmed made Emmeline slightly paranoid. She spent the morning constantly fixing her hair, which was a lost cause. Still, she felt like she had to at least try to keep up her appearance for the camera. Who knew who Millie would show it to?

Callum came over after the shop closed and helped until they finally had the apartment in order. They ordered Thai food, which turned out to be some of the best she had ever eaten. She had been really impressed with the food they had ordered over the past two days, and hoped that her pastries would fit in when she finally opened.

Emmeline put Millie to bed early that night so that she and Callum could get a chance to chat, but she ended up falling asleep in his arms on the couch. She woke with a start to the sound of him snoring with the street light shining in through the curtainless window that looked over the downtown.

She looked up at his face, unable to believe she fell asleep. He slowly opened his eyes. “Hey, you.”

“Hey you,” she parroted back softly. She laid her head back down on his chest, wishing he wasn’t wearing his shirt so she could feel his skin on her face. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed. “I’m sorry I fell asleep.”

“I’m not. I didn’t have the heart to wake you. You looked so peaceful with the drool hanging out of your mouth.”

“I don’t drool!”

“Just a little.” He held up his fingers, measuring out an inch.

She sat up, grabbed one of the throw pillows, and whacked him lightly over the head.

“You better not start something that you can’t finish,” he warned playfully. Within a moment he had grabbed the pillow from her grasp and tickled her. Emmeline laughed out loud, squirming to get away. He held on tight, and they rolled around on the couch until he was lying directly on top of her. His mouth crashed onto hers hungrily, and she responded with the same intensity.

“Mom,” Millie called from her bed. “Mom!”

Kids always have the best timing.

Emmeline caught her breath and groaned. This wasn’t nearly as glamorous as she had pictured in her mind when things finally heated up with Callum.

“It’s okay,” he whispered into her ear. “I want you, all of you. Your days, your nights. I want to follow you as you get your dreams. I want a life with you and Millie. That’s what I want, and I can’t imagine any time better than this to start. This world has never promised to be easy, and we’ve both experienced more than our fair share of heartache. Things have always been messier than we ever planned. I thought I would have had the guts to tell you how much I love you long ago.”

“Mom!”

“In a minute, Millie!”

Callum laughed. “I know my timing here might not be perfect, but I’m tired of waiting until that perfect moment. I should have told you before, but I was so scared that I would mess everything up. Trust me, over the years I’ve messed up plenty of relationships. For so long, I thought that taking a risk and possibly wrecking our friendship was the worst thing I could imagine. I was afraid of screwing up so badly that you wouldn’t want me to be around you and Millie. I love that girl as if she was my own. It would break me. But I can’t just let things be anymore. You’re here, the universe has brought you to me, and I want you to know beyond a shadow of a doubt: I am here. I want you. I want to spend every day with you, as long as you’ll have me.”

“Mooom!”

“Please, just stay there. Do not move, not one inch,” Emmeline begged Callum.

Then she ran to Millie’s bedroom. “What do you want?” She could feel her patience running a tiny bit thin at that moment.

“I can’t sleep.”

“Angel Face, just close your eyes. It’s late. Your body wants to sleep.”

“No, I want to go home.”

“This is home.” Emmeline knelt down beside the bed and rubbed Millie’s forehead. “You’ll be happy here. I promise.”

Millie rolled over, and a few minutes later was softly snoring once more. Emmeline tiptoed her way back to Callum. “Now, where were we?”

“Is she okay?”

“She is. She’s just adjusting to the move.”

“If she’s good, then you were about to tell me that you want to spend every second with me as long as you live.”

Emmeline didn’t doubt it, but she wanted to do this right. No jumping in and then running away. She wanted it to last, and for once she was going to make sure she didn’t say or do things in the moment she would regret later.

“Would you take—I want to spend as much time with you as I possibly can, and we will take it from there?” Emmeline asked.

“You’ll tell me those words one day. I promise you.”

Chapter Forty-Seven

Emmeline was relieved that he wasn’t going to push her any further. She needed time to let everything sink in. “You are really something, you know. You do realize that I’m not the same girl you knew in high school who had no idea of what she wanted, right?”

“That I am more than aware of, and I’m glad. It’s just that I know you. I really know you. And we both know this was a long time coming.”

“Callum.” She paused, unsure if she wanted to know the answer to the question she was about to pose. “When did it change for you? I mean, as far as I could tell, you just flirted with me. You flirted with everyone in high school. I haven’t seen you around any girls in a long time, so I don’t know how you act around them now, but you always flirted with me.”

“It’s never changed. It was always you.”

Emmeline was stunned. It wasn’t the answer she expected. “I had no idea. Things might have been different all along if you had told me.”

“I don’t know. I mean, there was one time I thought, when we were in our early days of high school, that maybe perhaps I had a shot at you, but then things changed. And then you were with Nicholas. I was so mad when I found out you liked him instead of me. I acted like a complete jerk.”

The event was seared into her mind even after all these years. Callum had made her look like an idiot in front of Nicholas. At the time she had been so mad at both of them, but it never occurred to her that it was because Callum had liked her. Apparently, intuition wasn’t her strong suit.

Callum left a little while later. The house felt quiet with him gone, but that wasn’t going to last. The next morning, deliveries started arriving from the hardware store. There were the cans of paint she had ordered, and cabinetry for the kitchen. She still needed to order appliances, but figured that could wait. She was really hoping for a high-end stove and freezer, but she would have to see how much everything else was going to cost. It wouldn’t be that big of a deal to buy the cheaper one, but her heart was set.

She welcomed all the deliveries, and then spent the morning on the walls, patching up the holes left by the previous occupant’s art work. She pulled Millie down from filming a set of birds flying outside her bedroom window to get her to help with the sanding. After three minutes, Millie was annoyed and desperate to do anything else. Emmeline finally compromised by saying if Millie worked with her for an hour, then she’d drive her by the school and register her. Afterward they could go and pick up some school supplies. Millie still didn’t look pleased, but said anything was better than spending the entire day sanding dusty drywall compound off walls.

The school was a five-minute drive away. With only a week to go before classes would start, there were several cars in the parking lot. Emmeline practically had to pick Millie up to drag her inside.

“Come on, won’t it be nice to see your school before you start?”

“Fine,” Millie answered, and smiled a seriously fake smile. Emmeline groaned and tried to say all the things a parent was supposed to say, like “Think of all the new friends you’ll make,” and “This will be a fresh start,” but Millie didn’t look like she was buying it, and Emmeline just wanted to get back to the bakery and work on it. Time was slipping away, and with all those fresh supplies there just waiting to be turned into her dream bakery, she didn’t want to wait a minute longer than necessary to see the final transformation.

The secretary introduced herself and gave them the paperwork they needed to fill out. The principal came out too, all cheery hellos and welcomes. Millie introduced herself politely, and then Emmeline stepped in and explained where they were coming from and the success that Millie had in the theater.

Afterwards, they went to Walmart in the neighboring town and picked out the school supplies Millie needed. She seemed to cheer up as she picked out a binder and pencil case with her favourite Muppet, Gonzo, on it. Finally, they made it to the grocery store, which was desperately needed. When they got home, they were laden down with bags, and it was time for supper. Emmeline whipped up some pasta and then left Millie sharpening her new pencil crayons as she went downstairs and continued to prep the walls for painting.

Callum was busy that night, so it was just Emmeline until Millie came down to help. They both worked late into the night. The amount of time she had spent watching YouTube videos on home improvement helped a little, but there were a few things that didn’t work as well as she had hoped. The little trick for removing wallpaper in the bathroom didn’t work at all, and within minutes she found herself peeling it off inch by painful inch. Emmeline and Millie took turns at it for the next two days, in between tearing up the old floor which revealed the original wide wooden planks. Emmeline actually squealed when she saw it. She could now just refinish these floors and return the laminate she had purchased, saving some serious money. The stove was within her grasp.

With each day, Millie seemed more and more disgruntled about having to help, and she kept disappearing upstairs to her room. Emmeline wasn’t exactly pleased that she had to keep calling her down. She looked forward to school starting so that it would give Millie something else to think about. In the meantime, it was better to keep her busy than moping around.

“Millie,” Emmeline called for the third time. She was hanging off a ladder with paint drops splattered down the front of her t-shirt. As she heard Millie’s step come down the stairs, she said, “Hand me that rag please, I’ve dripped paint again.”

Millie dutifully threw it at her, and it landed at the bottom of the ladder.

“Hey! I said hand it to me. Don’t throw. What’s wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me? You don’t even care, do you?”

The words ripped through Emmeline’s heart. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I am not your slave,” Millie said, exaggerating the last word.

“I never said you were. I just need help,” Emmeline said, her voice growing sharper with every word.

“You always need something. Millie move this, Millie get that. Millie, Millie, Millie. I hate my name! Every time you call it, it’s like you want something. And you don’t ask, you demand.”

Emmeline was completely taken back. “Listen, young lady, you do not get to talk to me like that!” She paused for a moment and tried to hold on to her temper. “We are a family, and we are supposed to support each other. That is how we work.”

“Support each other! You just tell me to come here, do this, get that. What about what I want? What about what I need? I didn’t want to come here. I didn’t want to leave my friends. I didn’t want to leave Grammy Pernella.” Her voice cracked as she said Pernella’s name.

“Grammy Pernella is where she is supposed to be, and so are we. Millie,” Emmeline said, trying to speak softly. “I know you don’t get it, but this is our chance to really make something out of our lives. To give you a future. So we can afford for you to go to university. I know what film school costs.”

“Some things just may not be worth it. Sell this dump and let’s get out of here!”

“It’s not a dump.” Tears stung Emmeline’s eyes. She wasn’t going to cry in front of Millie. She quickly flipped through the conversations she had over the past few days. Had she pushed too hard? No, yes—her head throbbed.

“Millie, we are here, and I am not selling. Besides, it’s been in the family for so long, I’m not sure that legally I would even be allowed to do that. This is my birthright, and yours. This is important, and damn it, I am going to make something out of this.”

“I don’t want this, I don’t want any of this!”

Millie stormed out the front door, slamming it behind her.

What is going on? Kids weren’t supposed to do the storming out of the room and slamming the door routine until they were at least pre-teens! Emmeline shouted after her from her precarious perch on the ladder, “You get back here!”

Millie didn’t even turn around.

“Dammit!” Emmeline cursed. She hastily climbed down the ladder, knocking the paint can as she did. It fell to the floor with a bang, spilling wet paint everywhere.

“Dammit!” she said again, annoyed for not putting the drop cloth down. She grabbed it, smearing light pink paint into the original dark wood flooring. She ran to the door, yelling, “Millie, get back here!” and then ran to the sink, where she filled a dirty plastic cup with water and grabbed a few tea towels that were laying on the counter. She poured the water on the smeared paint.

“Millie! Come back here!” Emmeline didn’t know what to do. If the paint dried on the floor, she was going to have a heck of a time to get it off. She smears the towels around again and then gave up.

God, she was making an actual mess of everything.

She ran out the door to look for Millie. She looked down both ends of the street, but couldn’t see her daughter. It had only been a moment. How could she have disappeared so fast? It wasn’t like Millie to be so openly defiant. Emmeline was losing her mind, that was all there was to it! A list of possible places her daughter could have run to flipped through her mind. She dismissed each one. Millie was still getting used to the town; she could be anywhere. She didn’t have any favourite spots to go yet, let alone hiding places.

Where is she?

This wasn’t Millie’s fault. It was stupid, really. Frankly, fighting with your kid for any reason is stupid. Emmeline had always prided herself on being a soft place for Millie to fall when she had a bad day, when bullies picked on her, or when she tried something and failed. Today, she was more of a hard, prickly place.

Millie is a good kid, she rationalized. She’ll be back. Emmeline breathed heavily, trying to regain her confidence. She ran back inside, put her shoes on, and left the front door swinging behind her as she went out.

Parked cars lined the street; she glanced between a few in case Millie had slipped between them. There was no sign of her. She ran down the hill to look down the street that intersected the one she was on. Minutes were slipping away.

The stores—would Millie go into the store? It was unlikely. She didn’t have any money, not even enough to buy an ice cream cone. Emmeline followed the street that passed the park with the Bandshell in it. There were people setting up inside, getting ready for a free music concert as they did every Thursday evening in the summer. She scanned the park. Toddlers ran wildly along the playground equipment, and yelps of excitement filled the air.

No Millie.

Emmeline clenched her fists, walking in a straight line. Her steps were measured, keeping herself from going in a full-out run and missing Millie along the way. She followed the cobblestone path along the river, past the iron bridge, toward the beach. Emmeline kept meaning to take Millie there, but hadn’t got around to it. Millie had asked over and over. She could be there. Emmeline had to check.

As she walked, a stone that weighed a thousand pounds sat firmly in her gut. This was the first time in Millie’s entire life that Emmeline didn’t know exactly where she was. She tried to steady her breathing. Nothing to panic about, she said with each step. Nothing to panic about. It became rhythmic, like a train chugging its way through her head, Nothing to panic about, nothing to panic about. She said it so many times that it almost became one word.

The beach was empty, with the exception of one man throwing a stick into the water so his Labrador could run after it, splashing in the small waves. She followed the curve of the beach to where it opened up again, finding only a few birds walking on the wet sand, leaving their delicate footprints behind.

Emmeline cursed under her breath.

She regretted leaving the house. Millie could be back by now, and she wasn’t there. They could have already made up and put the kettle on for a cup of mint tea, or better yet, a vat of coffee and a Tylenol. She regretted letting her leave in the first place.

She turned on a dime and headed back double time. The song in her head changed its chant to She is fine, she is fine, she is fine.

Goodness, she thought, the word almost escaping her lips, is this what I put my parents through? She made a mental note not to mention this incident to her mom when she came around, but perhaps she might accept the dinner invitation she had been avoiding.

There was still no sight of Millie as Emmeline entered the apartment.

Emmeline was frantic. It was all too overwhelming. Too much work, too hard. She wiped her eyes. It would do no good for Millie to see her like this when she came home.

If she came home.

Chapter Forty-Eight

Emmeline checked her watch, trying to calculate how long Millie had been missing, and cursed herself for not checking the time when her kid first walked out the door. How long did it take to walk down to the beach? Five minutes? Ten?

How did she even get in this situation?

Where would Millie go?

Should she run out again and look for her? Stay still and trust Millie would come home? Call the police?

“What do I do?” she shouted in frustration. At best guess it had been no more than twenty minutes. The only twenty minutes of Millie’s life that she couldn’t account for.

What have I done? I’ve totally messed my kid up.

I need help.

She dialed Callum’s number, fumbling over the keypad. Her hands were shaking. She let it ring through. The answer at the other end of the phone said, “The number you are trying to reach is not in service. Please hang up and try your call again.”

“Crap! I dialed the wrong number. I can’t do this.”

She ran to the front door again and stepped out onto the street, looking both ways to see if she could see her. There were happy people milling around, eating ice cream. How could they be happy? How could they stomach eating? Her kid was missing.

She sat down on the front step and tried to control her hands while she dialed Callum’s number again. No answer. She dialed the number at the shop.

“Hello, this is…” Callum’s voice said through the phone.

“Come, Millie. She plan away. She ran away.” Even Emmeline knew her words weren’t making any sense.

“Stop. You need to slow down.”

“It’s Millie, she was mad. We had a fight, a stupid fight, and she just left. My girl. We’ve never fought. She’s never run away, and she’s gone.” Her halted words came through streaming tears.

“She’s…gone…?” he said slowly. “Where did she go?”

“If I knew, I’d go and get her!” she answered sharply. Fury was working its way through her body. This wasn’t funny anymore. Millie needed to march back home right this instant.

“Okay, I got it. I’m coming.”

A minute later Emmeline saw Callum’s large frame running down the street. She ran up to greet him. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her head in his chest, but only for a moment. She looked up and could see the concern in his eyes. It made the situation all the more real.

“You stay at the bakery,” he said. “In case she comes back. I’m going to look for her.”

“I can’t just stay put.”

“Please. Just wait. She couldn’t have gone far.”

Callum escaped her arms and walked briskly down the street, frantically looking in every direction. Emmeline returned to the front step. Her eyes were red, and she felt like every ounce of her body was raw.

Millie, please come home, she willed, sending a message out to the universe. She looked at each of the stores. Could she be in one of them? There was an art store, a framing store, a chiropractor’s office. None of those seemed like they would be interesting to Millie at all. There was the river that ran behind the bakery, but if she went down there, Emmeline would have seen her as she walked to the beach.

People were still walking along the street. How could they? She needed more help. She impulsively called her parents.

Her mom answered. “Please come.” Emmeline broke down again. “Millie, she ran away.”

There was a moment of silence on the other end. “Emmeline, are you at the bakery?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“Your father and I are coming.”

Emmeline hung up the phone. Her parents were coming. It felt good. She was relieved for a moment. She needed as many people as she could get out looking for her daughter. Next she dialed Ginny, and told her the same thing. Ginny was there in five minutes with a group of men in suits and ties, who Emmeline assumed were the other lawyers at her firm. Emmeline recognized Ginny’s father running behind the pack to catch up.

“Em, do you want me to organize an official search party?” asked Ginny, a little out of breath.

“No, let me.” This was her kid, she wanted to do it. Emmeline took a deep breath. Some of the people wandering the streets were getting curious and starting to look to see what was going on. “Um, hello. I’m new here. Well, not exactly new. I’m Emmeline,” she said loudly. A few other people stepped closer. “My daughter Millie is eight. She’s a good kid. A very good kid, but she isn’t handling moving here very well. She doesn’t do well with change.” She could see her parents step out of their car where they parked it across the street. “And she’s never run away before. In fact, I’ve never had any problems with her. But, today she ran away.” She pushed her lips tightly together and breathed heavily. She needed to stay strong. “She doesn’t know her way around town, and she’s been gone for about twenty-five minutes. Please, if you could help me. Just bring her home.”

It was embarrassing, humiliating, and humbling watching people scatter through the streets, telling others and looking for her baby.

Her mom crossed the street. She didn’t say anything, she just hugged Emmeline tightly.

“I’m so sorry,” she said simply. “We’re going to find her.”

Emmeline collapsed on the step. Her mother sat beside her as her father disappeared down the street.

“She’s going to be okay. She’s strong like you,” Amy said.

“Strong. That’s the last thing I feel like right now.”

“But you are. Stronger than me. Stronger than most. You’ll get through this. Millie is like you. She’ll be fine.”

“But you don’t know that. What if she’s been taken, or what if she gets hit by a car? What if she falls down and hurts herself? No one will be there to help her.”

“I don’t think that’s true. Look around. Everyone is looking for her. That’s what we do.”

“It’s just so hard.”

“Listen, I know a thing or two about trying to raise a strong-willed kid. Sometimes you don’t get things right. I know I haven’t. I’ve messed up over and over again. But you love your daughter, and she loves you. When she’s ready, she’ll come to you.”

Emmeline got the feeling that Amy was talking about more than just Millie. Her mother held out her hand, and Emmeline took it. She laid her head down on her mother’s shoulder, and Amy laid her head on Emmeline’s.

A familiar figure walked down the street toward them. At first Emmeline couldn’t place who it was. A softness lined the elderly woman’s eyes.

“Emmeline, is that you?” she asked.

“Mrs. Smyth?” She had been the secretary at Emmeline’s high school. She remembered how supportive that she had always been.

“She’s at the library. I just spoke with her.”

Emmeline’s heart pounded out of her chest. “What?”

“I just left her, and the library staff is watching over her. I wanted to come right away and tell you.”

A small sob escaped Emmeline’s lips.

“She’s fine. I know, it’s okay, let it out. Raising kids is tough. I raised four of my own, and each one of them did something silly like this at one point or another. You get those first painful calluses when they’re small with stunts like this, and they hurt for sure. She just needed some space. She is safe.”

“Ha!” said Emmeline, laughing out loud. Only her kid would run away to the library of all places. “Thank you,” she said then.

“She’s coming back. I just advise you not to be too hard on her, she feels bad enough as it is.”

Mrs. Smyth reached out and hugged Emmeline. It felt good.

“See, what did I tell you?” said Amy.

Mrs. Smyth gave her directions, and Emmeline left her mother, who volunteered to tell everyone that Millie had been found, and walked the two minutes down the street to the library. No wonder Millie had disappeared so fast—she hadn’t gone far.

As she opened the door to the library, the woman behind the returns counter whispered, “She’s upstairs.” Emmeline assumed the frazzled look on her face was a dead giveaway that she was the missing child’s mother. She walked carefully up the stairs, looking everywhere. As her foot reached the top step, another librarian pointed over to the corner. Emmeline mouthed “Thank you” and followed her directions. Through the open shelves of books, she could see Millie. She looked so small, curled up on the window seat. Sometimes when Emmeline looked at her she seemed so much older than eight. She had turned out to be so capable. Other times she was just a baby.

“Millie,” Emmeline called out. She was trying not to sound too angry, even though part of her was. Relieved and angry. But they needed to deal with this and shouting got them into this mess in the first place.

“Mom?” Her little head looked up, her eyes glistening.

Chapter Forty-Nine

Millie

Millie knew she was wrong. She knew it the second she had ignored her mother’s second command to come back, but she was mad and she couldn’t bring herself to listen. Her legs moved faster in defiance, and her neck stubbornly refused to turn around and look. She knew any second now, her mom would catch up with her. She needed a place to go, to think.

The problem with a new town was that she didn’t know of any places to go. She ran past the library, then stopped and went back a few feet. Maybe she could hide amongst the stacks of books. Maybe her mom wouldn’t find her for a few minutes. She stormed in the front door. The building had two levels. The bottom level was all the baby books, and ones for her age. She knew that those would be the first place her mom would look if she thought to come inside. So she headed for the stairs. She passed the man sitting at the help desk at the top, and smiled, hoping he wouldn’t question her being there—she wasn’t sure how many kids came upstairs. Impulsively she decided to go to the right. There were stacks of books on shelves, and large windows with window seats lined with comfy cushions. Millie found one that was hidden a bit and sat down. She leaned against the wall and pulled her knees up to her chest. She stared out the window and willed herself not to cry. She never knew she could be so brave, but it didn’t feel good.

She picked up one of the books that someone had left on the window seat, trying to look like she belonged. She must not have, because an old lady with tight, short curls approached her and looked at her strangely. It made Millie uncomfortable, the way she looked at her. Maybe she was some old lady psycho killer. Millie tried to read the book in front of her intently.

“Excuse me,” the lady said. Millie pulled her knees in tighter to her chest.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to bother you. It’s just that I accidentally left the book I was going to borrow today on the window seat.”

Millie peered up from the book, eyeing her suspiciously.

“That is,” the lady continued, “if you’re really into the Mannerist style coming from the High Renaissance as influenced by Rosso Fiorentino, by all means, I’ll leave it to you and sign it out another day.”

She was caught. Millie looked down at the book for the first time and realized that there was no way she’d be able to convince anyone she was reading it. “All yours,” she said.

“I haven’t seen you here before,” the lady said.

“We just moved here,” she said. She noticed the kindness in the lady’s eyes and it put her at ease. She was dying to talk to someone; she couldn’t help the words that came out next. “You know, I’m actually from this town,” Millie said, nervous, confessing her secret and not knowing if she should, or if it even mattered.

“I figured as much,” the woman said, smiling. She sat down at the other side of the window seat and folded the book on her lap.

“How did you know?”

“You can’t live in this town as long as I have and not know a thing or two. I was born in a house just north of here, and spent a lot of time with the little ones. I was a school secretary. I know the kids from this town, and in fact, I know their kids and the little ones that have come after that.”

There was something about this woman that made her feel warm and safe, like a warm blanket fresh out of the dryer.

“You look like him, you know,” the lady said. “It’s around the mouth, your face shape—of course, that mole on your cheek is just like your mom’s.”

“I’ve heard that before. Did you know my dad?”

“I can do better than that. I remember when you were born. I called the hospital to tell them they were coming.”

“Really?”

“It’s true. Your mom was in the middle of class when you decided that you wanted to make your appearance. I think everyone was pretty surprised. Tell me, do you still like to do things in your own time?”

Millie nodded slowly. She wasn’t sure exactly what she meant, but she had heard people say things like that too in the past. “What else happened?”

“Then your dad took your mom to the hospital and you came.”

Millie smiled. “Did everyone know my dad?”

“Pretty much. He was really well known in this town. So are your grandparents.”

“I don’t know them.”

“Things haven’t been easy, have they?”

“They were, and then we came here. I had to leave my grammy. I miss her, and everything is different here.”

“I’m sorry, but look at you, all grown up.”

“I think you’re being too nice. My mom doesn’t know where I am.”

“Figured.”

“How do you know so much?”

“Like I said. When you get old you learn a thing or two.”

“I should go back.”

“Don’t worry, you stay here for a few minutes and collect your thoughts. It looks like you have a lot on your mind. I’ll swing by the shop and tell your mom where you are.”

“Thank you.”

Knowing that she had a few extra minutes where her mom wasn’t worrying about her helped tremendously. Now all she had to worry about was what she would say when she got back. There was no doubt that her mom would want to talk about the fight, and worse than that, perhaps she’d want to rehash it all over again.

Chapter Fifty

Emmeline

Emmeline looked at her little girl cowering on the window seat and knew she had to handle this carefully. Yelling wasn’t going to help even though so much of her wanted to. Millie had scared her badly. She sat down beside Millie and hugged her until she started to squirm uncomfortably. Emmeline looked at her sternly, noticing the tears in Millie’s eyes that matched her own.

“Don’t you ever do that to me again. If you are having trouble, you need to talk to me. Do you understand?”

“I know.” Millie looked at her toes. Emmeline could tell she felt bad. “It’s not fair!” Millie said, a touch of bitterness in her voice, and she slumped in her seat.

“What’s not fair? Moving here?”

“I was happy. I didn’t want everything to change.”

“I know, but that’s just the way life goes. You can’t run away when things get tough. That isn’t the way to deal with things. You need to talk to me. You need to understand that things aren’t going to stay the same forever, and you need to know that even when things change we have to stick together.”

“I promise I won’t run away again.” Emmeline could tell by the look on her daughter’s face that she truly meant it.

“Thank you.”

“You know what else isn’t fair?”

“What?”

“That you gave up a trip all around the world just for me. Wouldn’t you have rather done that?”

“Oh, Millie, I have no idea how you know about that. But that life, traveling around the world, it may be nice sometimes, but not right now. I finally get to have my dream. That’s you and me, here, surrounded by our friends. Opening my own bakery. When I travel, I want you by my side, and I want it to be when the timing is right for both of us. Got it, kiddo?”

Millie smiled weakly. “Are you sure, Mommy?”

She sounded like a little girl, a rare treat for Emmeline. She looked down into Millie’s big doe eyes. She stroked her hair again and kissed her on the forehead. “Listen, Joel is doing what is best for him, and we are doing what is best for us. Those are some of the choices that you have to make when you grow up. No regrets, okay?”

“Okay. Are you going to date Callum now?”

Emmeline could feel her cheeks go bright red. How did this become all about her?

“I think so. Would you be okay with that, Angel Face?”

“Yes, but promise me, no kissing when I’m around!”

“Deal!”

They didn’t get much done over the next few days. It was time to take a break, and Emmeline didn’t want Millie to have another running away episode just before school started. It did make Emmeline a little nervous. Her timeline was tight, and she didn’t have money to float them for too long. But Millie, as always, came first, no matter what. Besides, she would be starting school in just a few days. She would just have to hunker down after that.

Together, they made a new deal, deciding to work for a few hours in the morning, and in the afternoon, they went to the beach or had a picnic at the playground. In the evenings, they hung out with Callum or Ginny. It was a good compromise. On Sunday night, they watched a movie in the park on a giant inflatable screen, and on the last day before Millie headed to school, they went and had their first all-together dinner at Emmeline’s parents’ house. By the time Tuesday rolled around, Millie was feeling better and almost ready to face her new school.

Emmeline kissed her head before sending Millie off to the bus stop, saying, “Bye, Kiddo. You’re going to be amazing today.”

“Bye, Mom.” A small spark of excitement danced in her eyes.

“Are you sure I can’t take you to the bus stop?”

“Mom, it’s not that far, I can walk. I want to.”

She was so independent. Always was.

“Besides, you have a big day yourself,” Millie said, looking around at their soon to be bakery—presently a mess—as she swung her old backpack over her shoulders. At least something was familiar. The glass cabinets had been delivered the day before, so Emmeline still needed to put them together, and there was still a bunch of painting that needed to be done.

She watched as her eight-year-old daughter ran down the street, then threw on her grubby clothes, and tied her hair up in a messy bun as she went through the door that led to the back room of the bakery.

There was so much to do. It was almost overwhelming. That seemed to be the story of her life these days. But she had to push forward. If she let it get to her now, then nothing would ever happen.

She turned on the coffee machine and opened up the white paint can and poured it into a tray. Then she made sure the drop cloth was properly in place. She wasn’t going to have a repeat of the other day. She started on the second coat of the baseboards, crawling around on her knees.

A loud bang on the door scared her, and she jerked her hand. Tiny drops of white splattered onto the pink walls. She scrunched her nose, took a wet cloth, and quickly wiped them away before she stood to see who made the noise. She got up and looked out the window in the door. There stood Callum, waving.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, ushering him in, along with a line of others. “What is this?”

“This is your crew for the day,” Callum answered.

“Dad! What are you doing here?”

“Hello, Princess,” he said and kissed her on her forehead.

He hadn’t called her that since she was little, and the memory made her feel warm and special.

“We’re here to be put to work,” he said.

“Really?” she squealed, then asked, “Where’s Mom?”

“It’s okay, she’ll be here in a while. I think she’s making your construction crew lunch.”

“I don’t understand,” she said.

“You need help to get this going, and that’s what we’re here for,” he said. “We are so glad you’re here, and we are so proud of what you have done. Really, you are a wonder.”

“Thanks, Dad.” She could feel her cheeks burning. She never thought she would hear those words come out of his mouth ever again. She felt really good about moving home. This was her place, and these were her people. She greeted all the familiar faces in the room. Most were her dad’s old friends who she had known since she was small.

“I can’t stay for long, but I noticed that you needed a new top for the counter,” Callum said.

“I have one,” she said, looking at the beat-up thing she had picked out for twenty dollars at the reclaim store.

“That is ridiculous,” Callum exclaimed. “I’m here to take measurements, and then leave you in their capable hands.”

Emmeline showed him what she was looking for, and he measured the cabinet that it was going on top of. Then she showed everyone what needed to be done. Part of her wanted to argue, to say that she could do it on her own, and yet she knew she needed them. It was nice to truly be part of a community, and that meant that when one was in need, everyone came.

By the end of the next day, things were starting to look like she had imagined. Her mom even came by, and they had a good talk with none of the disappointment that Emmeline had feared would come after Millie had run away. Amy must have mellowed out over the years, thought Emmeline, or maybe it was her. Emmeline had always felt like if she did anything wrong in front of her mother, she would be a total failure. Now it didn’t bother her as much. Mistakes were a part of life, and although Emmeline had perhaps made more than her fair share, she had done a lot right too. By the time Millie came home from school, so much was already done, and Emmeline was thrilled.

“Seriously, Mom! Do you know everyone in this town? Even some of the teachers at school today knew who I was. I swear, this is the town that no one ever leaves!”

She was half joking, but that was true of so many little towns. The bloodlines ran deep. Millie happily helped out, and Emmeline couldn’t help but notice the special attention that her dad gave Millie. She was even laughing, something Emmeline hadn’t been sure was going to happen since they moved there. It was beautiful. Everyone left around seven and promised to return. Emmeline must have said “Thank you” a million times, but there was no way she could truly express her gratefulness.

Emmeline made them both some hot chocolate and sat Millie down to find out how school went that day. Unlike in previous years, she hadn’t come home with as much information. Emmeline wasn’t sure if that was because she was upset, or if she was changing again with her age.

“Tell me, how was school?”

“School is school.”

“School should teach you how to be more descriptive. Remind me to buy you a thesaurus.”

“School was a plethora of information, to which I seem to already have acquired.”

They may have been sarcastic words, but words indeed they were. “That’s my girl. The first day, they always seem to go easy on you. Do you have any homework?”

“No.”

“Did you meet anyone?”

“No.”

“Millie! Seriously, this conversation would be much better if you added your thoughts to it too.”

“It was a school. There were teachers. I didn’t know anyone, which is awkward. My lunch seemed to have all my favorites in it, which was probably the best part of my day.”

Emmeline smiled. It was the only thing she could do to help her.

“I read all through lunch break.”

“What did you read?”

“Stuff. Why all the questions?”

“Because when you don’t talk to me, you run away.”

Millie made a face and tried to change the subject. “Any banana bread left?”

“Yep. Upstairs. I’ll be up in a second. I need to put a few things away and then I’ll join you for a snack.”

“Deal.”

Millie grabbed her backpack and went upstairs, while Emmeline made sure there were no paint brushes laying out and put away a few of the tools so she’d be able to find them in the morning.

Emmeline went to lock the back door when she heard Millie screaming.

Chapter Fifty-One

Emmeline joined Millie up the stairs in a flash and found her with her face pressed against one of the windows that looked onto the main street. The streetlights illuminated a woman in a long cotton nightgown wearing a pair of white roller skates that looked like they were from the seventies. Her skin was pale, and her hair was stringy. Out the window, she looked more like a ghost floating dizzyingly in circles.

“What is that?” Millie asked.

There was something eerily familiar about the swirling figure. “Stay here, let me go see.”

Emmeline raced back down the stairs, slowing as she reached the front door of the bakery. She peered out the window. The figure was singing loudly. A song with no real words, no real meaning. It was happy gibberish. She knew who this person was—not a ghost really, but perhaps a ghost of who she used to be. For the first time, she felt sympathy for the woman who had haunted her dreams for so many years.

“Dorothy?” Emmeline cautiously reached her hand out as she approached her. “Dorothy. Are you okay?”

Dorothy’s song continued. She was off in her own little world, delightfully beautiful, clearly out of her mind. Emmeline thought that for the first time in her life Dorothy looked happy. Strange to see her, such an opposite of what she had ever been. She was normally so stiff, so perfect, her hair never out of place.

Dorothy stopped spinning for a moment, dizzy but focused on Emmeline. Her head tipped to the side, drinking in Emmeline’s presence.

“Mom, who is that?” Millie called from the door.

“It’s okay, sweetie, just stay back.”

“Mom, what is wrong with her?”

“She is just confused. I am sure she has someone looking for her,” Emmeline said. “Dorothy, would you like to come with me? I have a nice cup of coffee waiting for you inside.”

“Hello,” Dorothy said as if this was the first time she had ever laid eyes on her. “Aren’t you such a pretty thing?”

Years of anger melted away. This wasn’t the same person who had screamed “Slut” at her as she left the hospital; this wasn’t the same woman who had threatened to take her only child away. She wasn’t the same one who had barred Emmeline from her home or blamed her for the death of her son. That woman no longer existed.

“Hello, would you like to come inside? I have a lovely table waiting for us. Would you please join us?”

“Mom, who is it? Do you know her?”

“Come here and help me get her inside.”

Together, they looped their arms through either arm of the unfortunately confused woman. The stairs up to the store were tricky, with Dorothy losing her footing several times, like a looney-toons character. Emmeline and Millie quietly giggled.

“There we go, Dorothy, a nice table for us to sit at,” Emmeline said, pulling a chair out.

“Is this even safe, inviting some strange woman inside? Do you think we should call the police?” asked Millie.

“Don’t worry about it. I know exactly what she is capable of and what she isn’t.”

Millie looked at her, puzzled.

“Angel Face, this is your grandmother, your father’s mother.”

Millie looked stunned. She’d had no contact with her father’s family since she was a baby.

“Keep her busy, please, while I call her family.”

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Just talk to her, keep her happy.”

Emmeline pulled her phone out of her pocket and looked up the number while Millie awkwardly talked to her grandmother for the first time.

Twenty minutes later a man showed up at the bakery and knocked on the door. He was tall, with dark eyes somewhat similar to Millie’s own, and he looked barely twenty. Emmeline answered the door, and after a moment, she hugged him.

“Millie, I’d like to introduce you to you to your Uncle Erik. The last time I saw him, he was just a kid.”

“This is her?” he asked, cautiously approaching Millie. His eyes misted over briefly. “Would calling me Uncle Erik be too awkward? I know we haven’t been around. I was just a kid when everything happened.”

Emmeline drew a line across her neck with her hand. He stopped, but Emmeline knew it was too late to stop the onslaught of questions that was sure to follow from her inquisitive child. Emmeline never thought that it was important to let Millie know all the gory details of her past. Millie needed to know she was loved, that was all that was important.

“What happened to her?” Millie asked.

“She’s very sick, Millie. Thank you for looking after her,” Erik said.

“So, this is your mom?” Millie asked timidly. Dorothy was opening up sugar packages and emptying them into her mouth.

“Mom, don’t do that, it’s not good for your blood sugar.” Erik reached out and took the packages away. She smacked at his hand, and he sighed. It looked as though this happened regularly. “This isn’t a good day. She refused her meds and then snuck out. It’s getting harder by the day. She is still capable of doing most things by herself, and yet she doesn’t make any good decisions.”

“How long has she been like this?” Emmeline asked, grateful that she had been warned about her state of mind ahead of time.

“Seems like forever. You must have seen the signs. Early-onset Alzheimer’s. She was officially diagnosed about six years ago.”

“I heard that she wasn’t doing well. I just didn’t realize how bad it was.”

“Yeah. I hardly remember her well, to tell you the truth. I think she’s been off my whole life, but after Nicholas died, things got much worse. You were right to leave. She would never have left you alone.”

“I’m not really thinking about the past, just what’s going on now.” She tried to brush him off.

“Anyway, I should probably take her home. I brought shoes for her.”

He went to try and put them on, but his mom would have nothing to do with it. She wanted the roller-skates, and the more he pushed her, the more upset she became.

“How am I supposed to get her in the car with roller-skates on?”

“We can help you?” Emmeline suggested.

“The thing is, in the morning she isn’t going to remember any of it. She’ll be back to her regular self. It’s so hard predicting what’s going to happen. It’s exhausting. Dad needs someone at the house at all times to watch her. She has home care provided by the government, but they send different people in every day, which makes her more upset than anything else. There’s no consistency. Then she just screams and yells. There’s no room for her in a nursing home, and well, she’s so young still, I hate to see her in there. But some days it’s just so hard to take. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you some of the crazy things I’ve had to do for her.”

Emmeline looked at Millie. “She seems like she could be a handful. Although I think she always was.”

“Yeah, now even more so. Can you help me get her into the car?” he said, sounding defeated. “Mom, it’s time to go home.”

“Look at the nice young man. Isn’t he handsome? We’re married, you know. He loves me,” Dorothy said, reaching up and squeezing Erik’s cheeks. He grimaced.

“She thinks I’m Dad half the time. No, Mom, it’s me, Erik. It’s time to go. Dad is waiting for us at home.”

“Can I put your shoes on, Dorothy?” Emmeline offered. “I wouldn’t want you to fall.”

“I have my shoes on, dear. I would never leave the house without my shoes. That would be foolish,” Dorothy answered.

“Don’t worry about it. The last thing I want to do is make her angry. It’ll make things worse. Just stay on her other side so she doesn’t fall. Roller skates,” he muttered under his breath.

They helped Dorothy up and wheeled her outside to the car, but as soon as she saw it, she flat out refused to get in. She started screaming.

“How far away do you guys live?” Millie asked, watching the situation intently.

“Only about a twenty-minute walk.”

“Mom, why don’t we just walk her home? That’s what she wants.” Emmeline guessed that Millie didn’t like seeing her grandmother so upset.

Emmeline wasn’t sure, uneasy with having to spend more time with the woman who had tried to steal her baby from her. Still, it seemed like the right thing to do.

“Sure, why not? Erik, drive your car home, and Millie and I will walk Dorothy.” She could see the relief on Millie’s face, and she felt good about it.

“Yeah, Uncle Erik, we’ll be fine with Grandma.”

The word sounded weird coming from Millie’s mouth. Up until today, Emmeline was sure Millie was only vaguely aware she even had a grandmother, and now here she was, about to walk the addled woman home because she was too confused to even get in a car.

“Thanks, Millie. I really appreciate it.” Erik’s cheeks flushed at hearing Millie calling him Uncle. Maybe this was the beginning of a special friendship for those two. Emmeline remembered how much he had idolized his brother. How could he not? Nicholas was handsome, he was smart. He was older and more sophisticated. Nicholas’s death had certainly marked a defining moment in Erik’s life. His mother never truly recovered, although the disease had already started to make its mark.

Emmeline and Millie looped their arms through Dorothy’s and began to walk, pulling the woman along the road and up the steep hill that marked downtown Port Hope.

“Wheeee,” Dorothy said, clearly enjoying the ride and happy with the company.

“Grandma, I’m so glad you’re enjoying yourself.”

“It’s nights like this that make the soul glad to be alive,” she said with sudden clarity.

“I think I’m with you, Grandma. It really is beautiful.”

“What is beautiful?”

“Downtown.”

“Downtown, downtown, downtown…” she said.

“Mom, what happened? You’re not telling me the whole story, are you?”

“Not, really.” She didn’t like to purposefully keep things from Millie. But this was something that could hurt her, hurt her chances of eventually having a relationship with Nicholas’s family, with her family. How could she tell Millie that the woman they were helping blamed her mother a hundred percent for the death of her father? Maybe she had been right; Nicholas had been working so hard at the time. He seemed to know what to do, while Emmeline had been so lost those first few months. But she had grown; after his death, she never let a situation get the better of her. She dug her heels in and found the strength to continue.

“Let’s take her home first, and then I’ll tell you.”

“Okay, but you have to promise.”

“I will.”

They walked the rest of the way to the house. The moon was round and bright in the sky, and the air was moist and cool.

Millie’s eyes almost bugged out of her head when she saw the house. It was huge, looming. The sight brought back memories for Emmeline of all the time she spent there before she got pregnant, and the disaster that followed. She swallowed them down and straightened her back.

Erik met them at the bottom of the driveway.

“Millie,” he said, “I really appreciate it. It means a lot to me, and well, she doesn’t know it but it means a lot to her too. She loves you very much.”

“I’m sure she does,” said Millie gracefully.

“I think we should head back; it’s been a long day. Her first day at a new school.”

“If you give me a few minutes, I could drive you back.”

“Nah,” said Emmeline. “It’s a beautiful night. We can walk back, enjoy the air.”

They said their goodbyes and then left. As they turned onto the street, Millie said, “So are you going to tell me?”

“Okay, Angel Face, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

She recounted the story, trying to keep to the basic facts. When she finished, she held her breath, not knowing how her daughter would react.

Chapter Fifty-Two

Emmeline gave Millie the PG version of events. She didn’t need to know about her mom being attacked at her father’s funeral, only that Dorothy had been very upset. Millie listened intently and Emmeline could feel the anger rise in her little girl. She still felt angry herself, but knowing that these were the actions of a sick woman—clinically, not just in perception—made a huge difference.

“Millie, I know this is a lot to take in,” Emmeline continued, “but I don’t want you to be too upset with your grandmother. She was grieving and you see how sick she is. I had to work through my disappointment of the situation a long time ago, I don’t want you to take that on.”

Millie was quiet, and then she just seemed to accept what she had been told. That kid was funny; sometimes she could handle anything, other times she was a mess. Maybe it was the age. Whatever it was, Millie had matured so much in the past few days, and it seemed like she was really coming to terms with everything, which was a complete relief.

Millie went back to school on Monday and Emmeline continued to work on the renovations, which had moved along much faster than she had imagined thanks to her dad and his friends and Callum’s help. It was really starting to look like a place of business. The kitchen was mostly done. She was waiting for the inspector to come and tell her that it was up to spec. The original floors had been refinished, the display case was in its place, the cash register was working. Emmeline had completed the menus long before she even moved back to Port Hope.

It was the fun time this week. As soon as Millie was off to school, Emmeline drove into the city to an industrial kitchen supply store and bought new pots and pans, and a huge mixer for making her bread. On Tuesday, the massive freezer was delivered, and by Wednesday she had the okay from the inspector. She was good to go. She set the opening date for the following week. That way she could spend some time marketing her business, one thing that she had totally forgotten to do. She hired a local firm to make some advertisements and put an ‘OPENING MONDAY’ sign in the window.

She just hoped that her bakery would be a success, that people would actually come. That this wouldn’t be a giant failure. She had so much to lose. She felt like she was on a tightrope walking across a canyon, so close to falling, so close to making it across, not knowing which it would be.

When Ginny had been told the official opening date, she had put everyone on full alert, and even had the local radio station do their broadcast from there. That girl was a wonder. Ads were put in the paper, and an ‘OPENING MONDAY’ sign went up in the window. Emmeline was so nervous the night before, she could hardly sleep, which wasn’t good because she had a really early morning planned. She wanted everything to be fresh and displayed perfectly for when she opened up at eight a.m.

She gave up trying to sleep around two and went downstairs to start on the bread. By seven thirty she was drinking her second pot of coffee and tapping her fingers nervously on a table by the front window. Everything was done. The food was ready; the tables were set. The glass display case was filled with goodies that were a feast for the eyes, and she had a shiny new sign outside with the name of her business, Sugar Lust.

She got Millie up for school, keeping the door to the stairs open so she could hear the bell if anyone came in. Millie dressed and came downstairs for breakfast. She had her pick of anything she wanted.

“I think I can handle this, Mom,” Millie said, loading cookies into her backpack after her breakfast.

“You better go, you’ll be late.” Emmeline removed a few of the cookies before kissing her and sending her out the door.

Thirty minutes later, at nine a.m. on the dot, the door opened and fifteen people walked in. Emmeline’s heart stopped. She was really open; it was really happening and people were here.

“Hey you!” said Ginny, coming in for a hug.

“You’re here!” Emmeline said.

“Of course! Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Thank you! And you brought friends!”

“I’ve been rounding them up over the past few months since I’ve moved back,” she said. “I’d like to introduce you to the rest of my crew.”

“What has she got you doing?” Emmeline asked, looking at the group of women, all taking off their coats and reading over the menu. She could tell they were up to something.

“You should hear the ideas this woman has. She’s turning the whole town upside down,” said the woman standing next to Ginny. Ginny playfully elbowed her in the arm.

“It’s a good thing. This town has been the same for ages. Time for a little fresh blood,” said another woman who Emmeline didn’t recognize.

It took a few minutes to press everyone’s order through the cash register. The ding it made sent chills of excitement down her spine. She quickly got their orders together and delivered them to the tables.

Callum walked in a few minutes later, his denim shirt half undone to reveal a stained undershirt and smelling of paint fumes.

“Oh, goodness,” Emmeline exclaimed, covering her nose. “What have you been up to?”

“An Eastlake dresser. I found it at auction the other day, but it had been painted over. I thought it would be an easy job to restore, but there must be ten layers of paint on it. I think it might be half the size when I’m finished.”

Emmeline chuckled. She could tell he was in his glory.

“Looks like things are going well here.” He put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. Emmeline snuggled in closely.

“So far,” she said, a satisfied grin crossing her face.

“I’ll have tea, milk, two sugars.”

“This is a coffee shop,” Ginny said.

“I don’t like coffee.”

“What do you mean, you don’t like coffee?”

“That’s what I said, I don’t like coffee.”

“Pansy.”

“Here’s your tea,” Emmeline said, stepping in between them.

“How much?”

“Nothing!”

“Don’t be so foolish. This is a store, and you’ll never make any money if you don’t charge people.”

“I won’t take your money.”

“Fine. I’ll have to find another way to pay you back.” He winked, looking pleased with himself.

“That’s something I can live with!”

“What are they doing?” Callum pointed to Ginny, who was now with her friends, buzzing with energy at the tables.

“I think I heard them talking about doing a snow festival this winter and using the hill downtown for toboggan races.”

They heard Ginny laugh out loud amongst the group. They were plotting, and seemed deliciously dangerous as they did.

“Callum,” Ginny called over. “Do you think…?”

“Whatever it is, ladies, my answer is yes.”

Emmeline looked at him and furrowed her brows, questioning his quick agreement.

“I learned long ago that you never say no to Ginny. Best just say yes and go along with it.” He grinned.

“No one says no to Ginny,” a woman said. She wore a dark blue scarf around her neck and a nameplate that showed that she was the bank manager.

“I wouldn’t dare,” Callum said.

“Smart man,” Ginny said, and she got up and put her arm around him. He moved away slightly. “Aw, get back here.”

“Ladies, you’re too much for me.” Callum gulped down the rest of his tea and kissed Emmeline goodbye, promising that he would be back later in the day.

He waved goodbye to Ginny and her friends, then placed a five-dollar bill down on the counter and walked away. Emmeline grimaced. She would have to somehow put a stop to him paying like that.

There were more people as the day went on. Some were curious about the new place, others were curious to see Emmeline now that she was back. All in all it was a pretty successful morning. Satisfied, Emmeline sighed. She looked around at her bakery, the people at the tables, the chairs, the sign on the window, her new home.

It was her dream, and it was real, and it was going to work.

The End

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Acknowledgments

There are so many people that I would like to thank for supporting me through the journey that this book has taken me on. Firstly, my husband Dave, who has endured countless hours listening to me talk about these characters as if they are real people. To my children, McKenna and Morgan, who have been incredibly encouraging every day as I follow my dreams. To my mother and my father, who are always there, always telling me to follow my passion and that they are proud of me. A girl couldn’t ask for more loving parents. Thank you to Russell, Graham, Linda, Lois, and Phil for always being there and pushing me on. You guys are my family and my world.

I’d be nowhere on the journey without my Wattchicks, Gaby, Kristin, Tammy, Debbie, Darly and Leigh. You guys are my daily source of inspiration. Love you girls!

Thank you so much to Limitless Publishing for taking a chance on this book, especially to Lori and Therese, who answered endless questions and spent hours walking me through the process of what it takes to become a writer. You will be forever in my heart.

I’d also like to thank all of my Wattpad readers. I never would have finished this without the encouragement that you guys give me on a daily basis.

About the Author

Lavinia Leigh has been in love with stories her whole life. As a child, she used to read well past her bedtime with her foot on the light switch, primed to turn it off quickly at the slightest hint of being caught. As an adult, she has carried that love of stories with her until the day she started to write herself.

Outside of writing, she is a serial volunteer, and loves being involved in her community, from helping to build a giant waterslide down the middle of her town’s main street, to running a day camp, and working on a committee that honors volunteerism. She has also won a cooking show on Food Network.

Lavinia Leigh has a super supportive family who lets her go ahead with whatever hair-brained idea she comes up with and helps her along the way.

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